Today I'm Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. The scripture commands us to accept one another. Just as God in Christ also has accepted us.
Well, I don't know about you, but I have a few people in my life that are pretty hard to accept. What's the solution? How do you do that? That's today on Living on the Edge. Stay with me.
I'm Dave Druhy and this is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Jip is in a series about the biggest lessons he's learned about relationships over three decades of marriage, parenting, and ministry. And today he reveals a stumbling block many of us don't realize we have. Chip says most of us carry a distorted view of God. one that makes them seem hard to please, arms crossed, quick to keep score, and that distorted view is exactly what keeps us from loving the people in our lives who are hardest to love.
Here's Chip looking at Luke chapter 11 with today's message titled, Knowing God as He Is is the Prerequisite to Loving Others as They Are.
Now I want to give you the fifth principle, at least of all the things I've learned over the years about making relationships work is this. Knowing God as He is. is the prerequisite for loving others as they are. Knowing not what you think God is like, but actually knowing, encountering God as He really is, is the prerequisite to loving other people as they are. In fact, there's a Couple principles built in that if you think About it, and what you realize is: well, wait a second.
That means the premise is the goal is actually to love people as they are. You mean I'm not supposed to fix them first? You mean the goal is not to get everybody lined up and acting and behaving in ways that make me happy and make my life work? But I'm actually just supposed to be an instrument and I love them as they are. That doesn't mean I approve of their behavior.
That doesn't mean I always like it. It doesn't mean I just say that attitude doesn't matter. But I am going to love them exactly the way God loves me. See, it's the kindness of the Lord that leads to repentance. When God wanted to fix the human race, After the coup.
He didn't come in and try and put external restraints. Let's see, I'll make him do this and I'll make him do that and this happens. Romans 12:2 says, It is the kindness of the Lord, it is the goodness of the Lord, it's God's grace, His unconditional love. that sometimes brings Consequences to behavior, but the motivation, ever when you see God for who He is, is a heart of acceptance, a heart of love, a heart of goodness, a heart of desire to bring people to Himself so they can enjoy the highest and the best and the deepest relationship possible. And believe it or not, Bringing about change in a relationship is not about fixing people.
It's learning how to love them. as they are. And see, you know what?
Some of the behaviors might look the same as a parent, you provide some consequences. But you know, it's a lot different being inwardly angry at one of your kids and sick and tired of that behavior, and I'm going to fix them. If they do that, I'm going to do this, and we're going to get this straightened out. Or punishing a mate because of their lack of attention or lack of responsiveness. It's a lot different.
Been saying, you know, I really love this person. And that behavior, that attitude, I need to address. But I'm going to address it with tenderness around this person's heart. And what I want them to feel and know down deep in their soul, even when I have to have love that is not very pleasant for them to experience, I want them to know that I'm for him and that I care about him. And I want to pass on this unconditional grace and goodness and acceptance that God's given to me.
But see, as we learned last time, you can't impart what you don't possess. And so knowing God as He is is the prerequisite to loving others as they are. And when you love others as they are, the way God loves you, can I tell you something amazing? Repentance occurs. You know what the literal meaning of the word repentance, metanoia, change of the mind.
It means people have a change of mind. They think differently about God after that. They think differently about you. They think differently about themselves. The disciples Had a big problem with seeing God for who He is.
We all do, but every culture has kind of false views of God that send people down religious trails that often are not like God at all. And as you study the New Testament and you walk in the sandals of those disciples, and you observe how they think about Jesus and the questions they ask. It's interesting, I can only find one thing they ever asked Jesus to teach them in the New Testament. It's hard to pray. I mean, you would think they would say, Lord, would you teach us how to preach?
Or could you teach us how to bring fire down from the sky? Or, you know, we want to be hot shots and everything. And, Lord, Teach us to pray. Why? They grew up in a religious system as little Jewish boys in the synagogue where they knew reams and reams by memory.
of the Old Testament. They grew up in a system where a very high official would wear Ornate robes and have all these passages, and would go on the street corner and say word after word after word of long prayers, citing multiple passages, and they thought that was spiritual. And then they They walked around with Jesus. And when he was praying, it was like it was a real person, and it wasn't like he was trying to twist God's arm to get God to do something. There wasn't an ought to or a got to, but when they were around Jesus, there was a sense of life and intimacy, and he is experiencing something that we've never seen before.
And so, in Luke chapter 11, they actually, as you get the idea from the text, they're listening to him finishing up his prayers. And then one of them kind of raises his hand and says, Lord, would you teach us to pray? And all they know is the forms. They were taught all these religious forms. And they said, you know, the Pharisees, they have religious forms.
There's a prayer you say in the morning, there's a prayer you say in the evening, there's this kind of prayer for this situation, and you wrote and memorized those. And John the Baptist, he taught his guys some forms.
So Jesus, will you give us a formula? Will you tell us what are the right words to say and how to say it? You pick up the story in Luke 11. Why don't you open your Bibles there if you're not there already? And in verse one, It says that it came about while he was praying in a certain place, after he had finished, one of his disciples said to him, Lord, teach us to pray, just as John also taught his disciples.
And so Jesus, understanding their mindset, What you're going to see is he'll give him a formula. And it's the right formula, it's the right pattern of prayer. And he doesn't say just even pray this way, he says, say these words.
So here's the formula. But what he's gonna do after he gives them the formula, what we call the Lord's Prayer, is then he's going to give them a negative example. And then the truth of how to really pray and why. And then he's going to give him a positive example, and he's going to take the negative example and the positive example, sandwiched in between this command about how to relate to God. But all he's really going to share is: the problem is not with your form, the problem is not how long you pray, the problem isn't so much the actual words.
He's going to teach him: your problem is you don't see the Father for what He's like. You think the Father is hard to please. You think God is angry with you most of the time. You think His arms are crossed and toe-tapping, and He has a bony finger saying, Yeah, hey, you should have been praying longer. And why are you here now?
And why are you asking for this? Because last week you did that. And what Jesus is going to teach them is the problem in their prayers is not a formula. He's going to teach them they need to see the Father completely differently. And I would suggest that the way the disciples loved people as they were was because they learned to see the Father as he is.
You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Just a quick reminder before we get back to today's message. Did you know you can take Chip's teaching with you everywhere you go? The Chip Ingram app puts hundreds of messages, reading plans, and daily encouragement right in your pocket, anytime you need it. It's free to download wherever you get your apps.
And for even more resources, visit us online at livingonthege.org.
Now back to today's lesson. Let's pick up the formula. I'm not going to spend a lot of time here because you've heard it many times, but let's just. The overview.
So he says to them, when you pray, say, Father, hallowed be thy name. But he turns the tables already. Wait a second, Father is the Arabic word, Abba. It's the word of a two or three-year-old boy who would tug on his daddy's robe to say, Will you pick me up? Abba, intimacy.
Their view of God was he's transcendent. He's powerful. He's the God who split the Red Sea. But they missed His intimacy. And the first thing Jesus says is, When you see Him, He's an available, loving, Abba Father.
And the balance is, and holy is His name. He is the God who filled the temple of Isaiah. Holy, holy, holy. But He's transcendent, but He's approachable and intimate, like your own dad. Then he goes on to say to them, thy kingdom come.
And then in another gospel, your will be done. When you pray, come to God knowing he's an intimate father and come with great reverence. And then get his agenda on the table first before you get yours. God, I want your will to get done. I want your rulership and the way you want life to occur in the world that I'm in.
And then make sure you pray for your specific needs. It's not bad or unspiritual. Give us this day our daily bread. God, I've got needs. I've got material needs.
I've got relational needs. I've got financial needs. I've got work needs. He said, so you bring those to him. And then notice he says, but understanding there's this relationship as you bring your needs between your relationship with others.
and your relationship with the Father.
So he goes on to say, and forgive us our sins as we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us. Don't think that you can have this little silo of disconnected relationship with God as you have hate and unforgiveness in your heart toward others. That's why intimate praying with the Father is always a cleansing experience. It always forces us to do a little evaluation of where is my heart with other people? Because I've got to get this right before God says we can make that right.
And then he says it's a hostile world. It's a fallen world. There is an enemy. And this enemy wants to Literally, destroy your soul and destroy your marriage and destroy your life. And so ask specifically, lead us not into temptation.
And the other gospels writers will say, but deliver us from evil. And literally, it's from the evil one. For yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory. And so he tells them, come to God, it's intimate and yet he's holy. Get his agenda on the table, ask specifically for your needs, then deal with any relational issues of unforgiveness so you can appropriate that.
Ask for his protection. And then now notice what he does. He just he tells a story. Lord, teach us to pray story. Negative example, truth.
Positive example. By the way, often Judaism teaching, he would do that. They would couch two things, and in the middle was the core truth. Let's pick up the story. He goes on to say to them, suppose one of you have a friend.
And you go out to him at midnight and you say to him, Friend, lend me three loaves. The idea of three loaves of bread. For a friend of mine has come to me on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him. And from inside the house, He shall answer and say, Do not bother me. The door has already been shut, and my children and I are in bed.
I cannot get up and give you anything. Very common situation, and historically and culturally, you need to understand when someone would come from out of town, hospitality is not like we think of it today. Like, you know, I'd really like to put you up for the night, but we're really busy, and you know, the kids are already in bed, and you know, maybe there's a Motel 6 or something you could get.
Sorry. No, no, no, no, no. There was an absolute obligation in this culture when someone came to stay with you, you had to provide for them.
So, this is not like there's a plan B. This is like. You know, I got a problem. I need to put these people up, but I don't have any food. And so he goes to a friend and he says, Hey, will you give me three loaves?
And the friend goes, Hey, I'm in bed, forget it. Notice how then Jesus develops the story. I tell you, even though, verse 8, he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence, he will get up and give him as much as he needs. Will you underline the word persistence in your Bible? Literally, the word is shamelessness or without shame.
It's used in multiple places in the New Testament and has the idea without shame or boldness, and it can be mean persistence, or it can mean just literally without shame, which I think I'll explain in a minute is the very clear meaning of this text. Before we Dig in. Let's jump to then what's he going to say? I tell you, he won't get up because of it, because of your shamelessness. And then, verse 9: And I say to you, here's the application: ask, and you will receive.
Seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be open to you. For everyone who asks receives. Here's what prayer is all about. And he who seeks finds. And the one who knocks will be open.
This is real simple, guys. You ask, you're going to receive. You seek, you're going to find. You knock, it'll be open. This is just clear-cut.
Then notice he tells another story. He goes on to say, now suppose one of your fathers is asked by his son for a fish. He will not give him a snake instead of the fish, will he? Or if he asks for an egg, he won't give him a scorpion, will he? And then here's the clincher.
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask?
Now, you're saying to yourself, maybe, Chip, where are you getting this that they have a wrong view of God? I remember very first pastured I was in, I was there maybe nine months, year, year and a half at the most. I didn't know this fella very well. I came in from out of town and we had this really old car and we really upgraded to this little tiny Subaru wagon that I could get all my kids in. And I came in out of town and it's when it starts to rain and it hasn't rained for a long time, the oil from the pavement and the dust.
And I mean, it is just like ice like this. And so I'm coming out of Dallas and there's one of those big loops and that is going to send me on the freeway toward my house. And everyone is careful. It's real slick. And so everyone's going like 12, 15 miles an hour.
And then in front of me, there's this bus that just starts swimming around like this and hits it into a car. It's like being in a movie in slow motion. It's coming, it's coming.
So I've hit the brake a little bit and that doesn't work.
So he hits me and I go into the guardrail. Then I'm spinning around in my car like this. I felt like I was, and you know, boom, boom, I'm glad I was going 10, 12, 15 miles an hour. And so pretty soon you look around and there's all these cars all messed up and it's like two in the morning.
Well, I can't call Teresa. One, she doesn't have a car because we have one car. And number two, you know, I got three kids and they're small. And I don't know many people in this church. Who am I going to ask?
And so I thought, well, who's the person? Are you ready? Think of you if this was you. Who's the person that you could call at 2:30 in the morning that would not get angry, right? And so I called a man named AC.
And I was meeting with him every, I think, Wednesday or Thursday morning, and we would memorize some verses together and keep each other accountable. And my sense was that he really cared about me. But there's one thing to meet with a person, have a little Bible study, and be kind of casual friends. And I didn't have any family in town. And it's different to wake someone up at 2:30 in the morning and say, hey, excuse me, could you get up out of bed, drive about 40 miles, help me get a tow truck, and solve my life's problems?
Well, I called him, and I could hear in his voice, you know, obviously it was groggy, but he got up. He came, helped me get a co tow truck. We drove back together. And that man actually became not only a mentor and a father figure for the last 30 years. Here's what I want you to see what Jesus was saying.
Jesus was saying, um You know, when I called him... I believed I was shameless. I believed they would actually help me. I believed he was a good man. I believed he cared about me and would be so generous that I would not get, hey, you know, Chip, I'm glad you're the new pastor, but it's 2:30 in the morning.
I hope you have someone who's a better friend than me. Good night. If that, can I flip it on you? Can you think of someone? You don't have to come up with a name, but someone who's kind of an acquaintance.
Maybe someone at work, you've just kind of met them at church and you have a casual relationship, you've exchanged phone numbers, and they seem to be drawn to you, and you don't really understand why, and you've tried to be kind, but in your heart of hearts, you're like an acquaintance, right? Nice guy. It's 2.30 in the morning and you get a call. And they say Your name. And you go, who is this?
And they tell you your name and you're thinking, you're trying to get a picture. Oh, oh, yeah, okay, this is this guy. And they begin to say, you know, I'm in this jam, and my car is broken down. I don't have AAA. I know it's about 35 miles outside of Atlanta.
Is there any way that you could come and help me? See, they're shameless. And what you realize is, in your heart of hearts, at least for me, at times I've had those experiences where I think we're pretty good friends, but I don't think we're this good a friend. Do you understand what I'm saying? But then your option, I mean, it's sincere.
So you're going to say, you know what? I'm not a very good person. You obviously would only call someone. I mean, who would you call at 2:30 in the morning? You're not going to get open the phone book, go, hmm, you know.
You're going to call someone that you believe is good, who is kind, who would respond, and wants to help you. And so when you get that call at 2:30 in the morning, your reaction is, whoa, um. You know, I didn't realize he thought this much of me. You know, I'm not this good of a person. I'm really not that kind, and so I really can't come.
Is that what you're going to do? What are you going to do? You're gonna go, wow, this person must really think I'm a lot better Christian than I am because I don't really want to go. Right? Do you see what Jesus is teaching the disciples?
The man will get up out of bed because the only person you would call in the middle of the night is someone that your view of them is they are kind and they are good and they are generous. And so he's shameless. Of course, I would ask this man because this is the kind of man he is. And what he's trying to teach the disciples is: it's not how long you pray, it's not all the different words you use. If when you and could see God, As kind and generous and easy to please and not condemning.
When you come in your crisis and your need, you won't get a God whose arms are folded. Their view of prayer was: let's see now. I've seen the Pharisees do it. If you do it for 45 minutes and then take a break and then another 45 minutes, and if you say these certain words over and over and over and over, maybe somehow, someday, I can twist God's arm because He doesn't really care about me and I can get Him to answer my prayer. A total performance works orientation and a completely warped view of God.
And the reason I believe they asked Jesus, teach us to pray. Because I think When they would overhear Jesus, they wouldn't see performance. They would see someone who was coming to a heavenly Father that, whenever there was crisis or need or pain, Jesus went to the safest place in the world. Jesus went where he knew he was accepted 100% of the time. Jesus went to someone who had unlimited resources, who was not hard to please.
He didn't have to work to earn or gain or merit his favor. He was a God of loving kindness and grace, regardless of where we've been and what we've done. That is why. He had that intimate prayer life. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and a message titled, Knowing God as He Is is the Prerequisite to Loving Others as They Are.
If you missed any part of today's teaching, you can catch up anytime at livingonthege.org. There you can find the rest of our current series called Caring Enough to Connect: Building Bridges to Those We Love. We'll hear more on today's lesson from Chip in just a moment, but first, there's a very special resource that goes along with our study you're definitely going to want to hear about. If there's someone in your life who feels distant from God right now, a child, a friend, a neighbor, Aaron Pierce's book, Not Beyond Reach, will show you how to move that relationship forward. It walks you step by step from ordinary friendship to real spiritual conversation to the gospel itself, so you can know exactly what to say and when to say it.
Get your copy of the book, Not Beyond Reach, at a special price today at livingonthege.org. You know, every time this program airs, someone out there is hearing biblical truth they might never encounter anywhere else. And that only happens because listeners like you choose to invest in it. Would you become a monthly partner today and help make sure this teaching keeps reaching new ears every single day? Even a generous one-time gift makes a real difference.
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Well, now here's Chip. As we close today's program, I hope you picked up. On the fact that we're talking about a faith relationship, an intimate relationship with God, not a formula. And we're going to talk a lot more about this in our next broadcast. But for today, Jesus was teaching His disciples, and He wants us to realize that our perception of who He is will determine how we respond to Him.
He says, What prayer really is about Is understanding the heart of the Father. It's about the how much more God. It's not a transaction, it's not some little game that you play of if you pray so long or say certain words, then these things happen. And what I would say to you, in that little definition that I gave in the teaching of prayer is nothing more or nothing less. Then simply Keeping company with God.
But I would remind you, it's keeping company with the how much more God. And the application I would give you today is simply to bring your needs. and your struggles and your hurts to him. I mean, forget all the if I do this or if I do that and just say, Lord, this is where I hurt. Lord, this is my pain.
Lord, this is my frustration. It's interesting that when Hannah, it says she was pouring out her heart to God and the Lord heard her prayer. It was David when he came back and his family was gone and the raid had come and he just cried out to God in his desperation. God met him. What I want you to know is that the God of the Bible, the creator of all that there is, is personal and caring and longs to help you.
And the way to connect with him is not some formula. It's to lay your heart bare, share what's really going on. And in our next broadcast, we're going to talk about how to experience the how much more God.
Next time, Chip picks up right where he left off, walking us line by line through the Lord's Prayer and showing us why God is nothing like the reluctant friend in Jesus' story. Join us next time, right here on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge. Uh
