All right, Amen.
Well, hey, welcome to Mercy Hill across all of our locations this weekend. I want to reiterate what was already mentioned, guys.
Next week, our services are moving to 9:15 and 11. We also have that 8 o'clock service. It's a real service to the church at the Ridge campus for people to move over to that service because in high seasons we get a little crowded.
So, you know, we do this a lot, moving service times around. People say you can't turn a big ship on a dime, and that's bull. You really can if everybody can hold on.
Okay, so. That's kind of how we do it around here.
So next week we're changing the service time.
So we'll see you guys then. Also want to mention this, and then we'll get into that video. We get into the sermon. Hey, everybody has this envision card, and this envision card is really important. I want to give you an opportunity to sign up for a life changing class, four week journey.
Okay, Mercy Hill at its foundation, at its core, is a sending church. All right, we are a sending center. When we planted Mercy Hill, if you would ask me back then why you plant Mercy Hill, it was because I want to create a hub by which to send missionaries all over the world and plant churches all over the United States, and that is by God's grace happening right now. I mean, there's people all over the world, there's churches that are going out every year. You guys know the whole deal.
Hey, the heart behind all that is the mission of God, and I want you to understand this is a class that will help you see that the missionary endeavor when we talk. About sending people out is not a side quest for kingdom advancement.
Okay, like this is the heart of it. We want to send people to the the hardest places among the least reached. To hear the gospel, and I think that for every one of us, when we catch that a little more, we're going to want to give, we're going to want to pray, we're going to want to support our missionaries, maybe even go ourselves, go on a mission trip ourselves.
So this four-week class is important, guys. Psalm ninety-six, three, declare his glory among the nations.
Okay, that is bedrock in my heart. It's bedrock in this church.
So much so, we built our house in twenty fifteen. I want to show you guys this. What what is the when we wrote, you know, you write it in the concrete. What do we write? Psalm ninety-six, three.
Okay, it's it's bedrock for us. It's bedrock for this church. I hope you guys will come out and and jump into that four week experience. I promise you, you will not regret it. All right, turning to Song of Solomon chapter three today, and we're going to pick back up.
I was privileged to get a chance to do that phone call with Pastor Joby Martin. We read his book this summer. The guys did. Joby has Pastor Joby has become kind of a friend and mentor over the last five or six years, and so getting on that call with him was great just to kind of talk about the man that God is raising up and the. That our young women should be looking for.
Listen, today's message is all about young women. Who I say young women, single women, even single again later in life. Who are you looking for? What are the qualities of that man that you want to see coming to your life? And you say, well, a lot of us aren't a young woman that might be looking for a spouse.
Okay, but what else can we all learn? If the one that she is supposed to be looking for is is is kind of given some um some Characteristics in the scripture, then guys, whether you're married or not, isn't that the man that we need to be growing into? You know, and young men that you need to be preparing to be.
So I would say it like this: you know, part of the book of Song of Solomon is about who to be looking for and who to become. All right, who to be looking for and who to become? This week, I'm going to talk very specifically to younger women or single women, maybe single again women, to say, "Hey, this is the dude that you should be looking for." And and for the men, I'm going to say, "If that's who she's looking for, then that's who we need to become." And then next week, I'm going to do the same thing, but just flip it.
Okay, so the next week, I'll talk to our younger men and say, "Hey, this is who you should be looking for." And then obviously, all of our women will be, "Okay, that's who man." And I should be becoming. Here is the big idea: the man that God wants is the same man that she wants. All right, the man that God wants you to be, if she's godly, is the same man that she that she wants. God is raising you up. That should be desirable to her, and desire is okay.
Like this is what the whole book's about. Man, like, how do we become more desirable for one another to come together in marriage? You guys know it. I read the first verse I read last week: "Kissing me, love is better than wine." My eleven-year-old looked at my wife halfway through the sermon and said, "Is this a sermon or a Morgan Wallen song?" Okay, I mean seriously. And it's like you might be thinking to yourself, I didn't really.
Especially if you're newer, you might be thinking to yourself, I didn't know the Bible was. Oh yeah, this this whole idea of coming together, sex, marriage—it is God's idea, and the man, the the man that God is raising up, that should be desirable for her. Here's the problem, men and women. I'll say this maybe again next week too. The problem is we have a hard time looking for what matters in the end first.
Okay, the things that we look at first, a lot of times don't really matter in the end.
Okay, so I don't care if you're 16 or 60, single, single again. The world: are they hot? Are they popular? Do they have money? This is pretty much it.
And of course, we as believers are like, I think there's some things that are way more important than that, right? I want to teach us today: look for at the beginning that which matters most in the end. Right, so think about godliness, character. Think about the things we're going to talk about today. Look for those things in the beginning.
You know, you think about like a redneck with a truck, especially the young guys. I am talking about sixteen, seventeen years old. They want to know how jacked up is it? What does the exhaust sound like? You know, all this kind of stuff.
That's what they see first. Of course, a man looks at a truck and is like, "How's the transmission? And is it burning oil?" You know, like totally different, right?
So we don't. We want to look for the things that matter in the end and the beginning, and not get caught up in the eye candy.
Okay, and so, ladies, here's the deal. I'm going to go through three things today that I think Song of Solomon teaches us about the man that you should be looking for, and men, the man that we should be becoming. I don't care if you've been married for 20 years, or you're getting married, or you're single. We can all grow in these three areas. What God has called us to be: a provider, a protector, and a leader in the home.
All right, provider, protector, and leader.
Song of Solomon chapter three says this: "What is that coming up from the wilderness, like columns of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all the fragrant powders of a merchant?" Behold, it is the litter of Solomon.
Now that means couch or bed.
Okay, so and it's it's probably his actual bed. All right, so it's his bed, his couch, something like that. Verse nine, King Solomon made himself a carriage from the wood of Lebanon.
So he's made a carriage, and he made it. He prepared it.
Okay, so he makes the carriage that's carrying the bed or the couch. He made it silver. A post of silver. Its back of gold. Its seat of purple.
Its interior was inlaid with love from the daughters of by the daughters of Jerusalem. Here's the scene.
Okay, Song of Solomon chapter three. The wedding is about to happen, and the processional is coming in.
Okay, and it's magnificent because Solomon has set it up.
Now there is a debate. All right, is this Solomon going to get his bride? If it is, I want you to think Prince Ali, not Aladdin.
Okay, I want you to think like you know that he's got the whole processional and all the all the stuff. That's one way to think about this. That he's got this carriage, that he's got this this litter. They call it a couch or a bed, and he's going to get his bride. Of course, I think the better way to interpret this today.
You ask me tomorrow, I may have a different opinion.
Okay, but the other way to interpret this. Is if you look at actually verse six, this is kind of important to me. It said, "What is that coming up from the wilderness?" Another way to translate that, because it's actually it's actually in the feminine, would be to say this: "Who is she coming up from the wilderness?" So what we know is that you have this carriage and this this this couch a bed. It's all provided for. It's all inlaid with gold, and it's all done.
Who's on it? I think it's actually the bride. I think that he has sent this to get her, and he is bringing her to himself for the wedding. And this speaks of provision, man. Hey, there's three things I want to show you.
The first one is this: godly men are prepared to provide. He doesn't just talk about provision. It's not a let me tell you. It's a let me show you.
Now I want to make sure you hear me when I say this. I'm not talking about riches. I know that Solomon is rich. I'm not talking about all the gold and inlaid. That's not the point.
The point is that every man, if he's going to be married or prepare for marriage, has got to understand that he needs to speak provision to the one that he is bringing into his home. All right, man. I'm never going to be the rich like this. Maybe you're never going to be rich like this. That's not what I'm talking about.
What I'm talking about is Solomon and the way that he sets up this carriage and this couch. He's got sixty warriors around her. He is speaking provision to her to make sure she understands, babe. This is my pledge of future provision. I've got it.
I will work myself to the grave to make sure that you know that I got it. And I will take care of us. That don't mean. Listen, I don't want to get this twisted. I'm not saying women don't work.
I'm not saying you don't have a two-income household. I'm not saying any of those things. What I'm saying is the burden of who is going to provide at the end of the day needs to be settled before the marriage ever gets close, right? And and it's like, man, this is how it is. If it comes to it, it's on me.
And that's what Solomon is really doing here. He's showing her this incredible provision.
Solomon's preparation is it speaks to his intention of provision. That he's going to do this, and and here is a great thing. I love what Pastor Joby said. People play like they practice. I coach a twelve U football team.
I am part of the coaching group of the for twelve U football. If a kid fumbles every day in practice, I ain't giving the ball during a game. Not gonna happen, okay? Why? Because what you do in practice is what you are gonna do in the game.
And and I would just say the same thing here for for ladies. A real reoccurring theme this week, men next week. Look at their life now, and figure out if they're this type of guy that says, "Hey, at the end of the day, man, I've got this." You know, at the end of the day, it's going to fall on me, and my pledge is my future work, my future wealth will be wrapped up in making sure that you are provided for. I love the preparation and the intentionality from Solomon here, the gold, the purple, the frankincense and myrrh. Where does that come back out in the scriptures again?
Right, like this idea of I am coming to get my bride. And I love you know. I you say okay, a guy prepares right for this. He practices for this, kind of like what Pastor Joby was saying.
Okay, ladies, I would say this. I don't think you get to a wedding processional like this with the type of guy whose idea of a date is we sit around and watch Netflix for three hours and then land at a Taco Bell at midnight. You know, I don't think I don't think that's the way Solomon was in the dating and courtship to get to this part when it's the wedding processional. I don't think Solomon was the type of guy that pulls up to the house of the girl he's trying to date and blows the horn.
So help me if that was to ever happen at my house. First thing happens, dog gets turned loose. Second thing happens, I'm on the porch with no shirt on, ready.
Okay, I mean, I'm just telling you like that, right? I don't get that impression from Solomon. I get the impression that there's a plan in place. You can say it like this: Solomon's pursuit of the bride is planned. It took money, it took purpose, it took time.
She has to know that she is prepared for guys. She's not built for you to be throwing Mountain Dew bottles out of the front seat so she has a place to sit when you pick her up. You get it. Like there's a plan. There, there's, there's, there's preparation, and it all speaks to this provision.
Now, look, all three of these things I'm gonna say our modern culture hates because it's been so shaped by feminism.
Okay, and that's fine. Like it's fine. It'll get comments. It'll get Instagram stuff. If you think I care about that, you don't know me at all.
Lose no sleep about it.
Okay, what we've got to say is the truth for the young men and the young women that are in our church, and for the married couples that need to understand: if there's something wonky about this idea of provision, it will hurt your marriage.
So let's just shoot it super straight. I know that in our culture, what we want to cry is a woman doesn't need to be provided for.
Okay, she doesn't need provision, and there is part of that I understand. I am raising two daughters, and I promise you, I have no damsel in distress kind of thing in my spirit about them. Promise, okay? I am raising them to be as independent as they want to be. If they want to get married, great, but they don't need a man so much so that at sixteen, seventeen years old, if something's wrong with their car, they can go talk to the mechanic about it.
And I'll give them advice, but I'm not. They're going to have to learn how to do all that stuff. That's totally fine with me. But if they decide to get married, And nobody is forcing them to. It's a decision.
Every woman in here, if you make that decision or not, nobody's pushing you. All right. If you decide to get married, what does that mean? It means a marriage, probably producing kids. And if you, our culture likes to think that in that in that predict, you know, in that situation of marriage and family and having kids, that a woman doesn't need to be provided for.
Hey, that in my opinion, that is in the land of Oz.
Okay, and I'm going to live in reality. And in reality, when I think about a woman who goes through a pregnancy and a birth with her body, the idea of all the things and the vulnerability that comes with that multiple times in in a marriage.
Okay, multiple times in family, the vulnerability of that. When people say, "I don't need to be provided for," it's like, man, I I think you're just kind of a product of the West and a modern affluent culture that was totally shaped in a lot of Christian values that has provided that safety. Because when you look around the world, you just understand a biological fact: when only one of the sexes has children, that is a very vulnerable situation for any human. And so the reality is, it's like, man, we need to have this settled on the front end of who is taking care of what. If I, if I was a woman, if you say, well, my role is going to be to follow, have kids, all that kind of stuff, I'm going to need to make sure that there's somebody on the other end of this thing that has said, when it comes to the provision side, I've got it.
You say, what do I need to look for?
Well, couple things. I mean, one thing I would look for is was meeting you the cattle. For him wanting to work hard, and if it was, I'd be really skeptical of that. You know, it's like I'd want to look and I'd want to say, like, "Hey, this idea of provision—is he preparing his life to be a provider? Has he been on that road for a while?" Second thing I would say is this: if he's 25 and his parents are handling anything in his life like vehicles, insurance, or investing, I would run away.
Okay, run. All you got to do is very simple. I told you before: one Snapchat, just like this. They get the picture.
Okay, you need to get away. I'm not saying parents can't help. Even me and Anna got married. Our parents, both sets of our parents, helped us with things. That's not what I'm talking about.
What I'm saying is they're dependent on their parents handling something for them. You don't get a Solomon who can send sixty warriors and make this carriage and inlay it with gold and make sure it's right and make sure she's safe and make sure she's provided for with a young man at 25 who can't handle his business. Right?
So I would say run. Look at his friends. What are they telling you? I think you can say, "Hey, man, does he want to combine all areas of his life?" If you start dating relationship, courtship relationship, and you start seeing a guy who's kind of saying, "Well, hey, you're going to have your bank account, I'm going to have my bank account," it's like how much is he really wanted to provide for you? Or how much is he protecting himself?
I could go on and on. Be looking for these things, all right? And guys, hey, if we're married, I know everybody's you know in different stages here at our campus as well. The married men, in what ways can you speak provision over the home? Even now, in greater ways, and yes, I'm talking about financially, but also just in everything, like prioritizing your wife and making sure she's provided for, that her schedule might be able to be conducive for her health and her friendships, and just man, be that provider.
Second thing, godly men protect. All right, now this is going back to verse seven. Behold, it is the litter of Solomon. Around it are sixty mighty men.
Some of the mighty men in Israel, all of them wearing swords and experts in war. Each of his sword at each with his sword at his thigh against the terror of the night. They're a provider number one. They're a protector number two, and and of course they're a protector against the terror of the night. David had thirty men that ran with him.
Solomon had sixty. I look, this is totally just me. I wonder if it wasn't five from each tribe, and I'm talking about the baddest dudes you could find. Five from each tribe, baddest dudes you can find. Swords, warriors.
What is he doing, babe? I'm coming to get you, and when I'm coming to get you, I'm bringing everything I can that will make you feel secure and safe.
Now, I understand in my family, their safety is not up to me.
Sometimes I'm not there.
Sometimes there there could be things that overcome, overwhelm me. Like I'm not there's not you know I can't have this complex of like we're all Liam Neeson in the movie Taken okay it's like man I I can't you know but at the same time whatever it is that I can do that's what I want to do and that's what I see from Solomon he wants to communicate in a in a world with no electricity and no law.
Okay, I mean, coming up from the wilderness, he wants to make sure that she understands. Again, here is the phrase, "Guys, I got it." That's what she got. I got it. I'm making sure that you're taken care of.
Now, one of the things I would say for the men in the room, I would just say, "Hey, you know, this is born into us, and it's not just put on from the outside." If you believe the Bible, because what does the Bible say about Adam? Adam was called to keep the garden, protect the garden. And what and hey, what was in the garden? What was the crown jewel in the garden? Eve, right?
And so there is something inside of a man that would say, hey, you that should be, hey, God has created you bigger and stronger. Generally speaking, I have seen the CrossFit games.
Okay, so there's some women out there.
Okay, but generally, all right. Generally, God has created strength in you, broader shoulders, more bone density, more muscle. Why? It's not to bully. It's not to take.
The whole point of that is to protect. That goes all the way back to the garden. I mean, I want to instill this in the men of our church, the young men of our church. That we look out for the little girls, for the sisters in Christ. We look out for the mamas and the grandmamas.
Why? Because that's something that God has created us to do. I think even when my even my kids were little, it was like I tried to instill this in them when they were real little. It was like, hey, they're gonna go get the eggs. Hattie Jo, your job is to get the eggs.
Ap and Beniah, your job is to hold the baseball bat and the shovel in case the rooster comes after her. You knock him in the head. Got it? We all clear?
Okay. You get the eggs. You protect, even from when they were little. It's like guys trying to teach my boys: if somebody's got to go down so that somebody else goes free, you're the one that goes down so that she goes free. It's how God has created a man should be.
So that he would be strong, not to bully, not to take, but to give. And I think about how much different this is than what the world wants to do. The world wants to act as if there is no difference in men or women, and yet when you look at the disparity of outcomes when it comes to things like poverty, domestic violence, you know that eighty percent of the world's refugees are women and kids. The the the young man that's a fighting age, he's gone, man. He's just sitting in that camp.
It's like this idea that we say, "Oh, we're all going to be equal," without realizing, hey, when men take what is natural to them and decide to take and bully with it, bad bad outcomes for the women of this world.
So. What we can say is no, not in the Christian church. Don't care what the culture has to say about it. We say part of the image of God in a man is not to take what God has given him and run with it, but instead it's to provide and protect with it. Any of you that have a farm or a hunting background know exactly what I'm talking about.
The biggest, strongest male of any species, he uses everything in his power to sacrifice everybody else so that he goes free. I mean that is just true. We like to go hunt hogs. You go, you you turn dogs loose. They're going to chase a hog.
The first thing that big boar hog will do when he gets start getting chased by a dog, he will run exactly to where the babies and the mamas are. He will take those dogs directly to them. Once the dogs start chasing them, he knows I can outrun everybody, and he's gone. Right, he sacrifices them so that he goes free. The great thing about humanity is that men, in the image of God and under the teaching of the Word, have the opportunity to raise a banner for the world and say, "Nope, what God has given me, it is for provision and protection." I would say like this to the ladies: a willingness to sacrificially protect ought to be looked for in a man.
All right, you say, "Well, how do I look for it?" I'm talking about small ways and big ways. When you guys leave today, especially if you're dating someone, when you leave today and you're walking in that parking lot, does he put his body between you and the oncoming traffic? Because if he's got you on that side, he's telling you something. He's speaking something to you. He's not thinking about it.
You know, hey guys, we're you know you're married. Maybe your wife has concerns around money or concerns around okay. Does she understand that you care more about the financial security of the house to protect that more than you want the next boat or next toy? If that's going to give her something that she's fearful of, you know, guys in the home, do you you know you don't have this thing where bump goes in the night and dude, you're looking at your wife going, hey, you want to go check it out? Tell me how it goes, you know.
You get what I'm saying? Quick, Dan. I thought this was a testimony. I was thinking about this this week in our home, and and um, my.
So, have you guys ever had a garage door spring go out? It's like a bomb goes off in your house. Right, the things have like thirty thousand something, and then all of a sudden it just explodes. Seems very dangerous, actually.
Well, Anna's home alone with Faith Anne at eleven o'clock the other night, and that thing just went off in the garage. She didn't know what it was. I mean, it just exploded. I mean, it shook. It shook.
It was loud. It scared her. She said her first thought was Andrew's not home, and her second thought was AP's not home. My fifteen-year-old son. And I thought to myself, that is wired in her, and it's wired in us.
It needs to be cultivated.
Now that don't mean she ain't independent. The girl knows how to load a shotgun.
Okay, she understands it. That's not a damsel in distress. But there was something of man. Where are they? Where's my?
Where's my husband? Where's my son? All right, Godly men protect is what it is. Thirdly, lastly, Godly men lead. All right, and it's the same passage.
I'm going to read it again, but it's the same idea. It's like, how did he protect and provide? He sent these guys to go do all this stuff, and guess what? They went. He told them to go, and they went.
Godly men lead. There is another thing here that is important: the leadership of Solomon. He thought, he organized, he put the call out, and the guys went and did it because he asked them to. Verse seven. Behold, it is the litter of Solomon, and around it are sixty men, mighty men, some of the mighty men of Israel.
All of them wearing swords and experts in war, each with his own sword at his thigh against the terror of the night.
Now, I don't have sixty soldiers. Maybe you don't have sixty soldiers, but every man has a sphere of influence, and women, you have a chance to see how he is influencing those people around him before you get married to him. Remember what the Bible is calling you to is follow Him as He sacrificially leads you.
So if you're going to follow somebody because the Bible is calling you to do that. Man, I'd make sure they can lead, right? That's one of the big things I would be looking for, and that can happen on a ball team. It can happen by watching their friends. It can happen by seeing how they serve at church.
It can see how they they serve in their company. Maybe they started pushing a broom, but now they're framing houses. They started low, but now they're like they're they're leading people. They're leading a Bible study. They're they're doing something in this area.
I think you say like this: a good indicator of how a man will lead his family later is how. He is leading other people now. All right, think don't the eye candy, right? Man, are they hot? Are they popular?
Do they have money? These things don't matter in the end. What matters in the end are bigger things like this. Can they lead? I think about the NFL Combine every year.
The NFL Combine is one of the most meaningless things when it comes to quarterbacks. All right, they they will they will talk about a quarterback like his forty time matters at all in the world for the best that do it. They'll talk about they'll talk about a quarterback and they'll say things like this. You can't believe it. This guy can throw the ball eighty yards off of his knees.
Oh, that's funny. I've never seen anybody have to do that in a game. If you're on your knees, you're down. You know. They'll be like they'll be like, oh, this guy can.
This guy is so athletic. He can dunk a basketball from the free throw line. I'm like, I thought we were talking about football. Like, what does it matter? This all this stuff that you're looking for in the beginning doesn't matter at all.
All that matters is can the boy play. And the way you find out if they can play is by watching them at each level among the game. How good were they in high school? How good were they in college? That's probably the best indicator of how good they're going to be in the NFL.
You got guys that were good in college that were terrible in the NFL. You never have somebody that was good in the NFL that was terrible in college ever. And so my point is this: you want to think about how he's leading. Don't look at the eye candy stuff. Don't look at the stuff that don't matter.
Look at where he is right now, and figure out. Yeah, Solomon is a leader.
Solomon is a king. But at some point in his life, he told sixty men, the baddest dudes in Israel, "Go get my bride," and they're like, "Got it." That that quality that quality shows up earlier in a man's life when he's able to influence a group of friends, a five. That that shows up earlier in a man's life when he's able to bring a positive influence or move up in a company. You get what I'm saying. This is the idea.
Are we seeing this now? Look for it right now, and I'll just, man, I don't pull punches with y'all. I think that God's design for marriage and family is by far the most human flourishing kind of common grace thing we can imagine. I mean, look at how devastating our culture is around us. The further and further we get away, so it doesn't matter that our culture doesn't love it.
Okay, think about it like this: Ephesians five twenty two, wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. His Body, and is himself its savior.
Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. This is how it works, guys. You got to be willing to die. You wear a crown in a marriage; it's a crown of thorns.
Just like Jesus, there's nothing I wouldn't do. There's no depths I wouldn't cross. I will lay down my life, and in response, what does she do? I'll follow you. All right.
So here's the thing, ladies. I'm going to tell you. If if you are going to sign up and nobody is forcing you, this ain't like an arranged marriage kind of culture, okay?
So nobody's forcing you to do this. Man, you want to be the independent woman? Actually, Paul talks about that. He says, "Hey, if you can do that, be great. Spend all your energy on the kingdom.
Fine. But if you decide to get married biblically, you are deciding to put yourself in a submissive role to follow him. You better be sure he's worthy of being followed." Right, you better be sure that he's going to do his part and lay down his life for you.
Now, guys, some of you are like, "Man, I am trying to lead, but she doesn't follow me." Hey, you know what? At the end of the day, that's between her and the Lord. It's an obedience thing. I mean, we don't. Hey, you don't get the Bible out.
See, I told you, you've got it. That's between her and God. You keep leading and keep seeing if she will be shaped in her character to begin to follow your lead. What does leadership look like in the home? It looks a lot of different ways.
I'll give you a couple. It looks like saying, "Babe, we're going to be church people. We're going to be there. We're going to serve. Kids are going to be at students." Well, the kids don't really want to go to students.
Fine, they don't have to want to. They just have to go, right? They don't have to want to. That's the great news, right? Dad.
Dad saying, "Hey, this is the way we're going, all right." Dad saying, "Hey, you know what? The financial picture needs to get reined in. We we need we got some things we're trying to do X Y Z. We're doing this. That that's what we're talking about.
That's leadership. Saying, 'Hey, our our life is crazy. Once we leave the house in the morning, we got to be in the word before we go. I want to make sure you are. I want to make sure I am.
I want to make sure we are all together. Whatever it is, like we got it. That's leadership." All right, so godly men provide, godly men protect, godly men lead. All right, let's apply this, and we'll move toward a conclusion.
Okay, be a man, guys. Be a man that honors God and is desirable for her. Be a man that honors God and is desirable for her. You know, if you're like me, this sermon is like it's it's and next week will be this way too. It's like man, it's real rah rah until you realize how crushing it can be when you start thinking about how you don't measure up.
You know, you start thinking about all the ways that you failed in these areas in the past, and all the ways that you're not doing these things now. What's the answer to that? Godly men provide. Godly men protect. Godly men lead.
And there's like, man, there's areas that we're probably doing well. There's areas we're not. Man, what's what's the answer? The answer is we need to remember that this story is not really about. It is.
It's about Solomon and his bride. But really, it's about Jesus and the church. The greater Solomon and us, the church. You know Solomon actually had a lot of egregious failures in his love life.
Okay, if you go if you read the rest of the story, all right.
So Solomon is not the man of our dreams, but Jesus actually is the man of our dreams. Jesus is the one that lovingly and sacrificially. Provided, protected, and led us. You know, you think about what Jesus has done for us. It's very similar to Solomon.
Solomon sent a carriage with his own bed and said, "Hey, come, I'm fetching you to bring you into a marriage union with me." What did God do? God sent Jesus Christ, and Jesus did the same thing. He sent for the bride. He sent for us, but it wasn't in a carriage and laid with gold. He sent for us to be carried on a cross stained with blood.
Right, Jesus didn't just use his wealth and power to say, "Hey, go get them." He himself had to die for you and I to come over the gulf and over the chasm back into his family, and he did that for us. Man, in our sin, we deserve to be separated. But Jesus took death on a cross to cancel our sin debt, and in His resurrection, He gives us the chance to come into the newness of life. If we would admit our sin, believe in what He has called, believe in Christ, believe in what He has done on the cross, and and confess Him as the Lord of our life, and if we would do that, we come into relationship with Him, and He has washed us clean. Remember what I said two weeks ago.
What does God look upon us now and say of the bride of all of us? He says there is no flaw in you.
So you know what, guys?
Some of us might want to hang our head today. I'm not a leader. I'm not a protector. I'm not a provider. You know that when God sees you, if you're a Christian, He sees you in spades with all of those things.
Man, perfect before Him. Perfect in provision. Perfect in protection. Perfect in leadership.
So don't hang your head. Instead, hang that picture of how God sees you right here in your heart, and then chase that. Understanding God has already seen me this way, so now I want to go and I want to live that way for Him.
Some of you right now might be saying, "Man, you have no idea." Pornography thing or divorce that wasn't her fault, kids that I am not reconciled to, explosive anger in my life. I would just tell you, don't hang your head. Repent of those things as you are hanging on to that picture of the way God sees you in your life, and let's go and be men. That honor him and are desirable to her. Conclusion: three groups of people.
All right, first one: if you're not a believer, today's the day. I want you to understand God is after you, and He wants to see you in the way that I'm describing. Admit your sin, believe in what He has done on the cross, and confess Him as Lord of your life. You be saved today. And the second group of people, all the guys in the room, fellas, I would just tell y'all, man, every one of us probably has ways that we can grow in our protection and provision.
And in our leadership, and none of these things stop; they only get more and more and more. Here's a great question to wrestle with: Does your wife feel your provision for her more later in the marriage than she did at the beginning? I've been married for 20 years. I've been wrestling with this question this week. Does she feel more provided for now than then?
And I'm not just talking about finances. I'm talking about in every area that you can control. Does she feel that provision from you? You know when Ann and I got married. I've shared this before.
We were 21 when we got married, 21 when we started dating, and 19 when we met.
Okay, and all it all happened in like one year. It was you know it all happened about 18 months. Started dating, got married within a year. And I think about that because you know when you get married young, there's a lot of good things that come with that. You haven't built these lives independently.
You know you're you're kind of going through a lot of things together and. It's awesome, but also I had a wrong view of marriage, meaning hey, me and you have now linked up. All right, we're we're kind of under the same yoke, and and I'm going to run, and I'm expecting you to run with me in every single aspect of our life. You're going to keep up. And I'm not going to consider the way that you're wired or the role that you have biblically more more than I'm just going to run and you're going to keep up and we're going to be fifty fifty in this thing.
And nowhere in our life early on was I considering her as what the Bible calls a weaker vessel. I was not. I was not thinking about emotionally and even physically. Like the ways that we are put together, different by God, and I'm going to tell you in our marriage. And you go ask her.
I'm not speaking for you. Go ask her. She obviously speak for herself. This campus. If you want to, you know, if you're another campus, you can message Jan or something.
I believe that she would tell you that as I have grown in understanding my role as a leader in our home to provide and protect and lead. Our marriage has been sweeter, and she has flourished in her giftings in greater ways. Me doing what I'm supposed to do has created a garden bed that cultivates a greater flourishing of who she is. And so I know the world don't like that. The world can think whatever they want.
It's almost like God had a plan. It's almost like God knew what He was doing in terms of putting a marriage together. And so I would just give you guys that testimony, man. Where can you grow? I know where I need to grow.
Where can you grow? And then finally, ladies, some of y'all are like, "Man, I am married, but it ain't to that dude." Well, your your sermon's coming next week.
Okay, you may not be the Proverbs thirty one woman you think you are either.
So we'll have a good time with that next week. But in all seriousness, hey, if you are dating a guy that ain't this guy, I don't want you to think. Listen. I don't want you to think he—he's twenty years old. He don't need to be where he's gonna be when he's forty years old.
There ought to be maturity in all these things over years in his life. But what are you seeing at twenty that speaks to provision, protection, and leadership now? Right?
That's what I'm saying now. It's gonna be different in ten years if he's a mature man. If he's maturing as a man, I get that. But what does it look like now? And if he ain't that guy, if he ain't that guy, he ain't that guy.
And let's get ready. You know, we're like, man, we're looking for the right person, looking for the right person. Let's focus on being the right person. All right, and that's what. Let's focus on that, and then the Lord will do some of that other work externally.
And then some of us, hey, I know this. I kind of joked, but you're like, man, he's not that guy. I know that.
Some of you are married to unbelievers.
Some of you are married to passive men. And I would just tell you this. I would say, hey. There's really, and the way I look at it, there's only one thing you can do, and that's pray for them and point out areas they get it right. Pray and encourage.
That's it. That's hard. Maybe you wish there was a different answer, all right? But pray for them and encourage them in what you know to be the truth, ladies. All right, let's pray.
Father, we come before you, and we ask right now that you would move in the marriages. God move in the young men and young women that are seeking marriage. God allow the young men to provide, protect, lead, to prepare their life to where they might throw a banner of love over a woman one day. Father, I just pray that you would make this church so rooted in its marriages and and and flourishing by your design in Christ's name. We pray, Amen.
Man, my voice made it barely. Would you guys stand with me, praising God? Hey, at all of our campuses, man, our altars are wide open today. All of our campuses, and this is a great opportunity. Marriage, yeah.
Hey, wives, pray for your husband. Guys, get together. Come down. I saw a whole community group down here earlier in the first service. I mean, the whole group was down here praying for each other.
I mean, that—that's what it should look like every week at the altar. Let's respond today, guys. You got some stuff you want to pin up to commit to. All right, that's what this time is for. Let's respond.
