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Give by June 30th at ColsonCenter.org slash June. Be part of Restoring What's Broken. Welcome to Breakpoint: A Daily Look at an Ever-Changing Culture Through the Lens of Unchanging Truth. For the Colson Center, I'm John Stone Street. In the song Let's Get Married by The Gray Havens, a husband and wife duo recount, quote Some would scoff and stare at us, and some would laugh and cry Others asked our age and wage and raised their eyebrows in surprise.
That kind of disbelief is typical of what young couples experience when they decide to get serious about marriage. In fact, it's a major reason why the average age of first marriage for both men and women today is now around 30. Also, the skepticism about young marriage is propped up by a whole host of false assumptions that it leads to higher rates of divorce, that young adults should quote unquote establish their career first or should be financially independent before seeking a spouse. And so young couples here, well-meaning people, drop nuggets of popular wisdom. Like, well, there's no rush.
You got your whole life ahead of you and you should find yourself before settling down, whatever that means. And you need to experiment sexually before you commit to just one person for the rest of your life.
However, that advice is not only misguided, it's just flat wrong. Writing at the Institute for Family Studies, Kason Stevenson recently pointed out that while teenage marriages do carry a higher risk of ending in divorce, marriages from the age of 20 onward do not. In fact, research from the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia showed, and I quote, there's no significant difference in reported marital satisfaction or divorce rates between earlier marriages, those between the ages of 20 and 24, and later marriages, those after the age of 25. And by several important measures, earlier marriages actually have an advantage over those begun in their late 20s and beyond. Stevenson pointed to a study that found spouses who married earlier reported higher rates of sexual satisfaction than any other marital age group.
He suggested this could have something to do with the fact that such couples were single for less time and so were less likely to engage in casual hookups, which we know reduce marital satisfaction. An early marriage Also appears to have long-term financial benefits. For example, married men earn more than single men. Even when controlling for household size, education, and other factors, married men have 40% more household income than their unmarried peers and are half as likely to live in poverty.
Sociologist Brad Wilcox suggests this is partly because, and I quote, the responsibility norms associated with marriage mean that married men work harder, smarter, and more responsibly, end quote. And speaking from personal experience, Stevenson added that spouses who share resources and responsibilities. Tend to have more flexibility when it comes to furthering their education and careers. Another reason, more subtle and more personal, why early marriages, contrary to the popular wisdom, are a good idea, is that it allows couples to grow and build their lives, their finances, and their dreams together. Rather than becoming set in their ways separately, said Stevenson, earlier marriage gives a couple the opportunity to mature together.
sharing formative experiences, struggles, and triumphs. Placing their love at the foundation of their lives rather than as a candle on top of it, as an afterthought. Borrowing terms that are popular in sociology, he called these the cornerstone and the capstone models of marriage. Stevenson told how when he was a junior at Stanford, he was the only student who mentioned marriage and children as part of his five-year plan. Quote, they all described getting marriage as an objective for later and were surprised that I would consider marrying so young.
Shouldn't I establish myself financially or professionally first and then seek a spouse? The view that his fellow students had could be called the capstone model of marriage. It's also the current conventional wisdom.
However, research suggests it's anything but wise, especially in an age when so few people ever reach that magical moment where they are quote unquote ready for marriage. Instead, many find that they just waited too long. Stevenson instead commends a cornerstone model of marriage. In this model, marriage is less an achievement and more of a foundation for life. Instead of merging two settled individuals, it emphasizes the intertwining of two budding people, generally between the ages of 20 and 25, who can traverse the formative years together.
That model, as countercultural as it is, better harmonizes with who we are as humans and what marriage is as an institution. It's consistent with the biblical truth that God brought Eve to Adam so that they could fulfill the creation mandate together. Also, that children are an explicit part of this mandate and are still part of God's design for marriage today, and yet another area in which young marriages tend to excel. Simply put, the popular wisdom on early marriage is mostly wrong. Perhaps instead of interrogating the twenty-somethings we know about their so-called age and wage, Christians should be asking young couples upon news of an engagement: well, how can I help?
And when's the wedding? For the Colson Center, I'm John Stone Street with Breakpoint. Today's Breakpoint was co-authored by Shane Morris. If you're a fan of Breakpoint, leave us a review wherever you download your podcast. And for more resources to live like a Christian today, go to breakpoint.org.
