Hi, Alex McFarland here. I want to make you aware of two really important speaking engagements in July of 2025. I'll be at the Cove, the Billy Graham Training Center, July 18-20, teaching the book of Job. And then, July 28-August 1, with J. Warner Wallace, a week of apologetics with myself and Jim Wallace.
Go to thecove.org, thecove.org, and I hope to see you next summer. The spiritual condition of America, politics, culture, and current events, analyzed through the lens of Scripture. Welcome to the Alex McFarland Show.
One of the most well-known verses in the Bible is John 8-32, and I fear it's one of the verses least believed. Hi, Alex McFarland here, and this is a program very special. We're doing it from National Religious Broadcasters in Texas, and there are 4,000 people here from ministries all over the world, and a lot going on. And I've got the privilege of introducing a very special guest in a moment.
Her name is Mona Rosin. She's the author of Hellbent and Heavenword. But I want to cue this up and talk about John 8-32, because if I said, what is a verse that people commonly reject? You might think, well, people don't believe in Jesus, or they reject the Word of God when it speaks about, you must be saved. And people do reject that sometimes. But I'm going to recite John 8-32, because I would submit a lot of people would have a changed life if they would actually believe this verse.
This is from the words of Christ himself. Jesus said, the truth will set you free. And I think there are a lot of people that aren't set free. Their life is in bondage. They're bound by a prison of pain or past memories.
And if they could step into the bright light and the healing touch of truth, and by that I mean God's truth, the Lord Jesus Christ, who is truth, they could be blessed, they could actually be, as John 8-32 promises, set free. Well, we're going to talk about this in depth, and I want you to tune in, because you may be grappling with things that you would like to be free from yourself. The book Hellbent and Heavenword Break Free from Lies and Live Loved. It's by Mona Rosin. She's a repeat guest. Mona, thanks for being with us here at NRB.
I think it was last summer, June of 24, that you were with us the first time. That was a great show, got stellar feedback from the listeners. So thanks for being with us, but even more importantly, thanks for what you're doing to touch countless lives. Oh, thank you so much, Alex. It's an honor just to be here again and meet you in person.
This is even better. Yeah, we were on some, I don't know, Zoom or pre-record or something a year ago, but I was intrigued by your story. I was blessed by your book. There are a lot of great verses, some really, really great quotes that we might visit. But I want you to cue it up by talking about your ministry and how you talk to people about being set free in Jesus Christ. Well, it's interesting because I was just getting my badge downstairs and I thought, you know, I could probably go get the ministry badge because in a sense, this is a ministry. I don't work full time in, quote, ministry that most people would think. However, as I was doing my journey of knowing who God truly is and learning his true character, it took me through and into the walls, in the halls of 12 Step Recovery.
And I believe that's my ministry in a sense of helping people break free from whatever lies they were telling themselves that kept them in the proverbial prison, the prison in their head that they call home. So I choose to stay as free as possible by really going back to who God is. He is Jesus. Jesus resembled God.
He was God in the flesh. And so when you had mentioned that verse in John, it's interesting because the other part of that truth by knowing the truth is that you're also chosen and you're also Jesus' friend. And those are some truths that it was difficult for me to actually accept because I thought, how could God love me like that? How could I actually be his friend? My biggest lie was that God doesn't like me.
He loves me because it's unconditional and I have to be loved. It was like a father-parent thing, but like? Nah, I didn't think I was liked. And then when I saw that, and I believe it's also in John where John chooses you and calls you friend, or Jesus calls you friend, that it's just this truth that really just blows the prison door wide open.
Yeah. Why do you think people pick up the mindset that God is against them? Well, it could go back to some of the lies that I write about in my book, which is perfection, punishment, performance, and permanence. And in the punishment wall, I talk about if they do something wrong, like if they sin or if they don't do something right or to whatever standard that they believe is quote right, whether it be the worldview, what they believe is God's view, then they believe God is punishing them. Now, keep in mind, there are consequences for everything and every action that we do. And the consequences are definitely punishment in themselves, but God's not punishing people.
And I think that's something that people forget and don't necessarily know. God is love, period. And it took me a long time to realize that He is love, period. You will suffer the consequences of your acts and your decisions, but God is always there.
He's not running away from you. It's kind of like Adam and Eve in the garden. They hid because they were ashamed and they thought God was going to punish them, but He was the one that came looking for them. And they hid because of their shame and their fear of, you know, they didn't perform well or they were going to be punished by God.
Are the walls people build for themselves maybe holding God at arm's length? Or even, you know, within themselves, they don't give themselves permission to have joy or be at peace. Who is more susceptible to that, men or women? And let me ask this, Mona, are the pain that we keep ourselves in, the lies we tell ourselves, are those lies different for women and for men? I think they might be the same category of lies. It's what the lie is that might be different for each man or for each woman. For instance, in the perfection lie I have, many women's lie that they believe is they have to have a, quote, perfect body or have to be perfectly fit, whatever that is. I don't see that in men very often.
And so that might be the difference between the two. And I think women tend to be, I am a woman, so I'm probably a little biased here, but women tend to be a little bit more hard on themselves and judge themselves a little bit more and kind of... For sure on body image. Definitely. For men, it's probably things like achievement.
Yep. And career focused and whether or not they can climb the proverbial ladder. And I know we've all seen Dr. Phil, we've seen shows, and this seems like low hanging fruit, but I really think it's true. Does it go back to our relationship with the parent of the same sex? I'm counseling a few men right now and they're making some very poor midlife choices and it goes back to their relationship with their dad, or lack of relationship I should say, for girls, their relationship with their mother. I mean that hugely informs their outlook and their emotions, doesn't it?
Yeah, I 100% agree with that. And my relationship with my mom was probably more codependent. My dad was an alcoholic. He did get sober when I was in ninth grade, but my mom modeled that codependency that I had no idea what it was. And all I wanted was to be daddy's little girl and I wasn't because of his generation and his dad was an alcoholic as well. So I knew in his generation women were in the kitchen. Women were not around the men in a sense. So he didn't have to in a sense be a parent.
He was more the provider versus the comforting parent that was my mom. Well we've got to take a brief break. Hold that thought Mona.
You're listening to the Alex McFarland show talking about breaking free from pain and living in the freedom and the joy that is the truth of Jesus Christ. Stay tuned. We've got a brief break.
We'll come back with more after this. Fox News and CNN call Alex McFarland a religion and culture expert. Stay tuned for more of his teaching and commentary after this. You know prayer is the nerve that moves the muscle of God. Hi, Alex McFarland here encouraging you to download our free PDF of 31 Days of Prayer for Our Nation. Discover how consistent prayer can transform your heart and our nation. These are times of uncertainty. People need hope and specific prayers get specific answers. So go to AlexMcFarland.com and download the free PDF of prayer and I challenge you to make this next 31 days a time of powerful prayer.
It's been called trusted, truthful and timely. Welcome back to the Alex McFarland show. Welcome back to the program. We're talking about being free in Jesus and you can be set free and we're going to talk about this and folks the next brief few moments might be some of the most significant truths you'll hear in many a day. We're talking with Mona Rosin.
She's the author of the book Hell Bent and Heaven Word. Mona, in the first segment you used the word codependent and codependency. If you would define that for us. That is when you become dependent on another person. So your joy, your peace, your livelihood in a sense depends upon another person and how that person is feeling. So for instance, in my family, my dad was alcoholic.
My mom was the codependent one. So her life in a sense was how is he going to be today? Is he going to be angry? Is he going to be drunk when he gets home?
Is he going to start a fight? All of that. So she was in a sense walking on eggshells. I didn't know that when I was a kid, my brother and I, you know, my mom had told us as we were adults that she would let us go out and kind of play and to keep us away from a lot of that.
So I didn't know anything different. But unbeknownst to her is a lot of that behavior was still embedded in me as I grew older. And then when I grew older, like her worrying and her controlling and all of that came out of me in my relationships, not only with personal relationships, but also in professional relationships. So it's a difficult, it's a difficult pattern of behavior to break. I've counseled people and maybe they're doing something, maybe they're addicted to drugs or alcohol or a substance. There are some people I think that are addicted to anger. I mean, you know, the curve of energy or, you know, excitement and people get angry and verbally abusive, even physically abusive sometimes, sadly. But I've had many people, women and women say, I can change anytime I want. Isn't that a myth that we think we're in control of our behaviors very often? We'd like to say that we are in control of our behaviors. But when you have certain triggers and you've grown up in different environments, it becomes second nature. And you have to become aware of this behavior or as they say in a 12 step program, they have call it a character defect. And if you're not aware, you can't change it. Well psychologists would call it neural pathways. We have these habits we do and it's our default position to, you know, whatever. And it's almost like medication, whether it's food or, you know, substances or behaviors, we almost self-medicate. We could spend a long time laying out the pathologies. Jesus has a better way, doesn't he?
He does have a better way. And the way he created us is even more fascinating because you had mentioned neural pathways and then there's neuroplasticity, which is gaining a new pathway. And that is, you know, there's many ways to do that, but that's having a growth mindset for one and getting out of your victim mentality and then learning and doing something different once you are aware of that character defect. Like if it's anger, if it's, you know, for me it was victim mentality, it was control, it was manipulation, it was all that stuff. Once I was aware of it, then it took time, but you know, Jesus changes you little by little.
And I was able to make different changes as I became aware of what I was trying to do in the moment. Contrast for me, if you would, the difference between shame and victimhood. Shame is believing that you are bad. Victimhood is if you make a mistake and you believe you did something, you did something bad, you now stay there and you don't move forward. So then it's a continual, almost in a sense of an ego state where you beat yourself up and you're like, oh, I'm the victim.
I'm the one that was hurt here. There's, you know, the other aspect is there truly are victims. But if you, for me, I was divorced and I did not want the divorce and I couldn't do anything out of it. But if I sat in that, I'm the victim and I didn't want this divorce, I would drag all of that negative energy into my relationships and I did.
And it took years before I realized that I was still playing the victim and not moving forward out of the whatever happened, you know, whatever, whether it was being divorced when you didn't want to, or something consulted. Kind of an irony. I mean, if you say the word narcissism, you think about, you know, somebody who's self-absorbed or selfish, it's all about me. And I don't mean to shame anybody or make anybody feel bad.
I just know that letting the Lord and the Holy Spirit fill our thoughts yields better outcomes. But here's the thing. The victim is in a way narcissistic because they're just absorbed with how they feel they've been wronged.
Yeah. How do you help people snap out of those spirals? Well a lot of that is, and I've learned this not long ago, is understanding that ego plays a role in both. So ego plays a role in the low self-esteem. So people who are playing the victim, for instance, I was divorced and I didn't want to do it, then therefore I'm not good enough.
Those are a lot of the lies too, perfection, I'm not good enough. And self-hatred. And that is a form of ego versus the opposite end of the spectrum where you have this very prideful moment. And that's an ego that's very obvious, but it's the one the self-hatred or the self-disliking that is not as obvious because you think you're being so humble, but you're not. And so to get out of that, again, is to realize that the truth of who Jesus is.
He chose you, he calls you friend, and if you receive that and receive his love, then he will pull you out of that mud pit and allow you to set your feet on solid ground so that you can begin to move forward out of that mentality. It takes a lot of time, but it is possible. And it takes trust, doesn't it?
Total trust, yeah. I want to get into this more in depth. If you're just tuning in, we're talking with Mona Rozin, she's a repeat guest, just a valued colleague in the ministry, and her book, Hellbent and Heaven Word. Where can people find the book, Mona?
You can go to hellbentandheavenword.com and you can order there, and you can also find it on Amazon. And I'm sure it deals with much of what you and I are talking about, but what is the basic premise of the book? The basic premise is really to understand the prison that you built within your mind that you call home. The four main lies that I outlined were perfection, punishment, performance, and permanence. Those can span many different types of lies.
There's definitely subcategories. And it's how do you break free? It's understanding who God is, receiving his love and forgiveness, and then what are the ways that you can live in freedom once you realize and become aware of your character defects or the prison that you built. You know, John 10.10, the Lord says, I've come that you might have life and life more abundantly. Not only salvation.
You know, you believe in Jesus and you'll go to heaven when you leave this world. But there is an abundant life here, isn't there? Right.
A hundred percent. And people don't realize that. People are waiting until they get to heaven, per se, to have this kingdom. But the kingdom is here and now. And if we aren't living within that kingdom, the kingdom in which Jesus died, then you're not living your life abundantly the way he gave it to you. Well, we've got to take a brief break.
Stay tuned. Because that abundant life, that joy in the core of your soul, it is available. And we always say this. Jesus is as close by as a prayer.
Don't go away. More with Mona Rozin on The Alex McFarland Show. Fox News and CNN call Alex McFarland a religion and culture expert. Stay tuned for more of his teaching and commentary after this. Conversations That Matter is a four-part speaker series bringing to the grand strand some of the best thinkers in America to talk about the overlap of faith and culture.
Hi, Alex McFarland here. I want to invite you May 4th, 7 p.m. at the Greg Rolls Legacy Theater in North Myrtle Beach to hear my longtime friend and colleague, Dinesh D'Souza. Dinesh is going to be talking about Trump's first 100 days. His talk is titled, American Politics, Past, Present, and Future. Join us for this unforgettable evening with one of America's most astute thinkers and opinion makers, Dinesh D'Souza. May 4th, 7 p.m. at the Greg Rolls Legacy Theater in North Myrtle Beach. Visit alexmcfarland.com. That's alexmcfarland.com for information and tickets. I would like to see you May 4th to hear in person Dinesh D'Souza.
He's been called trusted, truthful, and timely. Welcome back to The Alex McFarland Show. Welcome back to the program.
Alex McFarland here. Hey, we're going to resume our conversation with Mona Rosin, author of Hellbent and Heavenward. But I want to make you aware of some very exciting things, and I want to ask you to pray. And listeners, I really need your help. We're doing four speaker series in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
It's called Conversations That Matter. And May 4th, 2025, we've got Dinesh D'Souza. Then in June, we've got Dr. Gary Chapman talking about the family. In August, we've got Charlie Kirk of Turning Point USA. In September, a roundtable about the state of the American church with Lauren Green from Fox News. So I want to ask you to please go to alexmcfarland.com.
Please pray. Please promote. Please plan to attend. Our summer youth camps are coming up. 1,200 students going to seven youth camps.
About one-third still need scholarships. $400 will purchase a week at camp for a Christian young person. And I'll be there and our staff and our partners. We share the gospel. We talk about biblical worldview.
And a lot of what Mona's talking about, about being set free, we see young people of all ages set free. And so if you would pray for our ministries, and we're on the radio and television seven days a week, consider a tax-deductible contribution you can give securely online at alexmcfarland.com. Thank you for standing with us. And again, $400 will buy a week of summer camp for a young person.
And it's a week that will count for a lifetime. Thank you for your prayers and support. Well, Mona, I thank you for what you're doing to help so many people break free and walk in the light and the truth of Jesus Christ. I want you to give your website again. And in addition to writing and broadcasting, are you touring and speaking? Are you available? I am available for speaking. I would love to do that. My website is hellbentandheavenword.com. Speaking is one of my desires and goals.
So yes, I would be absolutely open to doing that. Elaborate, if you would, on the title. That was funny because the publisher I was working with, we were kind of brainstorming some names. And I asked him, when he sent it over to me, I was like, oh, that's a great title.
When did you come up with that? And he was like, you did. And I was like, oh. So for me, I am a scientist also in my full-time work. I'm a dietitian, so I'm a nutrition scientist. And I am very much an analytical thinker.
And I can get paralysis by analysis looking over too much data. And one of my epiphanies that I had when I was realizing of who God truly is, is I was analyzing and seeking and reading a lot. And so I felt like I was really hellbent on knowing who he was. And I wasn't going to let it go.
Almost like Jacob wrestling with God, where he would not let go of God, and then God changed his name to Israel. And you were determined to find God too, weren't you? And his perfect will for your life.
Exactly. I was determined to find out, what is this love that everybody says that who God is? And does he really care about the details of my life, versus the billions and billions of people in the world? But what about me, just this one little drop in the ocean?
Yeah. You know, Mona, I've interviewed a lot of professed atheists, and done a lot of debates. And, you know, there can be evolution, and sometimes there are allegedly, you know, some evidence that a person might believe that God isn't real or something. But of 32 interviews I've done with, I'm talking the published atheists that are Barnes and Noble, 31 out of 32 had very toxic family experiences that they name as the reason for rejecting God. Now they might prop it up with, oh, then I went to grad school and I became an evolutionist.
But it's amazing to me of the people that pride themselves on being just cool, intellectual. It's very emotional. And I've often said this, that emotional pain is the doorway to intellectual skepticism. Yeah, I would agree. Yeah. That being the case, the good news is resolution and healing is possible, isn't it?
Yep. And, you know, there was a time I was very frustrated, and I remember getting in my car after a Bible study, and I was crying to God, being like, what Peter was saying, where else do we go? And it was that question. I'm like, I would walk away right now, but where else am I going to go? I had nowhere place to go. And I wasn't going to not believe anymore because in my field you just see the existence of God everywhere when it comes to the human body and how the human body functions.
So I was like, I can't leave, but you've got to show yourself. You know, we share a love of C.S. Lewis, I believe, because you quote him in your book. I want to read a quote, and if you would comment on it, one of my favorite quotes.
I used it just this weekend in a men's event in Kansas. But Lewis said, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition, when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slum, because he cannot imagine what would be meant by a holiday at the sea.
We are far too easily pleased. C.S. Lewis, that's in his book, The Weight of Glory. Why that quote?
Why did you choose that? I first heard that quote at church through one of our pastors, but then it was actually demonstrated to me when I was at Daytona Beach. And I was driving, you could drive on the beach there, and I was looking over to my left, which was the ocean, and over to my right were all the hotels. And I saw all these people sitting by the pool at the hotel, and they had a fence around the pool so they'd fall off and fall into the sand. And I looked at the hotel and the swimming pool and the people sitting there, and I looked at the ocean, and that verse came to my mind because I thought, oh my gosh, they're content in being by this pool, or making mud pies, per se, in this pool, when the whole ocean is right there. It's yards away, yards away. That's all they had to do was walk through the gate, and they could have this festival and this party that Jesus really wants you to have, like living life abundantly. Go to the ocean.
And I'm a diver, so it's even better in the ocean. Oh wow. Well, I think about this, and regrettably we're almost out of time, but like the people who say, why can't I do this? Why can't I get that forbidden fruit? You know, there's sexual temptations, there's pornography, there's drugs, there's so many ways Satan conspires with us to destroy our own lives. And I've had men ask me, why won't God let me do this?
And I'll say, because he loves you. And if you want God to be just permissive, and sin is no longer serious, you're not asking God to love you more, you're asking God to love you less. Because God loves us enough to try to prevent us from destroying ourselves, doesn't he? It's like your parents not letting you play in the street. It's like your parents not letting you drive late at night or home from a party or something like that. And I know that kids who have very few rules in the house will lash out and act out because in a sense they're craving those guidance and those rules.
Whereas kids who feel like they are over strict or the parents are over strict, then they grow up and they may have a little outburst, but they come back because they realize the love that those rules actually gave them. We're almost out of time, but I've got to ask you this, Mona. What if somebody's listening and they've got pain or performance, perfectionism, and they're thinking, yeah, you know, Mona's got joy. God has things for her, but not for me.
It wouldn't work for me. What would you say to the person who can't seem to give themselves permission to believe that the Lord has good things for them? Oh man, first of all, acknowledge the fact that you are in this grief and this sadness and don't let yourself try to ignore that, but acknowledge that fact.
And then once you acknowledge it, you can move through. And then a simple prayer that is always answered that I've used multiple times is just simply saying Jesus, and he's right there. That's a good one word prayer, Jesus. We always say Jesus is as close by as a prayer.
Maybe you need to call out to him even right now. If you need spiritual help on our website, there's a tab, what does God say about my relationship with him? And Mona, you're helping people in their not only walking with Jesus, but coming to Jesus.
I highly recommend the book Hell Bent and Heaven Word. Thanks for being with us. We're almost out of time. Folks, go to the website.
So many articles. You can listen to this and other shows wherever you get your digital content, your podcast. May the Lord bless you in all things. And in Jesus, may you truly walk free. Alex McFarland Ministries are made possible through the prayers and financial support of partners like you. For over 20 years, this ministry has been bringing individuals into a personal relationship with Christ and has been equipping people to stand strong for truth. Learn more and donate securely online at AlexMcFarland.com. You may also reach us by calling 1-877-YES-GOD1. That's 1-877-YES-GOD1. Thanks for joining us. We'll see you again on the next edition of the Alex McFarland Show.
