A Rose for a Rose [Part 2]

Pastor, author, and Bible teacher, Alan Wright. I believe God has sent me to you today to say I'm sorry for not honoring you. I'm sorry for the way that men have abandoned women, to every little girl whose daddy was too busy at work to notice her play school art, for every dance recital that we missed because of needing to work late one more night, for every preacher's daughter whose father was out saving the world but didn't notice he was losing his own girl.

I'm truly sorry. That's Pastor Alan Wright. Welcome to another message of good news that will help you see yourself in a whole new light. I'm Daniel Britt, excited for you to hear the teaching today in the series Free Yourself, Be Yourself. If you're not able to stay with us throughout the entire program, I want to make sure you know how to get our special resource right now. It can be yours for your donation this month to Alan Wright Ministries. As you listen to today's message, go deeper as we send you today's special offer. Contact us at PastorAlan.org or call 877-544-4860.

That's 877-544-4860. More on that later in the program. But now, let's get started with today's teaching.

Here is Alan Wright. I began to read the confession. These are the words I read. I have glimpsed the pain of the dishonored and shamed women in our world. And I believe God has sent me to you today to say I'm sorry for not honoring you. I'm sorry for the way that men have abandoned women, to every little girl whose daddy was too busy at work to notice her play school art, for every dance recital that we missed because of needing to work late one more night, for every preacher's daughter whose father was out saving the world but didn't notice he was losing his own girl.

I'm truly sorry. I began to read the confession. It was a long confession.

I was choking back the emotion and it was so real. Well, at the end of reading that confession, what happened was we invited men to come up. I went and I literally got on my face for the Lord and just invited other men to come and say this would be a good time to just tell the Lord that you're sorry for any of the ways that you've dishonored women and on behalf of all men.

And I said if there's another man that wants to come and join me for a few moments, you can. And I think every man in the church came forward. And so you could just imagine this scene of just a sea of men, not enough room for all to get on their knees and have it in our hearts. And women, you need to understand this. So many men want to have it in their heart to honor women. They may not have ever seen it.

They may not know how. They may not know what it feels like but it's in there. And I saw it in all those men, all those men that came forward. And we just had some moments of just time of humbling our hearts before the Lord and it was sweet, sweet, sweet. And then it happened that we brought out on carts all these roses. And I said now men, just take a rose, find any lady. If it's your wife, go to her first. If it's your daughter, go to her with a rose. And at least take a rose, each of you, to somebody. And the men began taking the rose and I said just tell them this.

Tell them a rose for a rose because that's really what each lady is, a rose. Beautiful and fragrant and lovely. And this is what we say to you. It's our blessing to you today. And the aroma of these roses began to fill the sanctuary but there was something sweeter than the aroma of those roses. It was the aroma of Christ. It was absolutely beautiful and I'll never forget it. Afterwards, I had many responses from women. This one touched me the most.

I'll call her Cindy. She wrote and said, Dear Pastor Alan, the effect this morning's service had on me has left me with a compelling need to let you know. You see, I've suffered dishonor at the hands of men in my life but the one that has bruised my petals the most is my relationship with my father. I am the preacher's daughter you spoke to this morning. The extreme legalism we practiced in our family caused me to grow up ostracized and lonely. I married young to escape and found myself in an abusive relationship. Many years later, my husband abandoned our three girls and me. I had made no effort to reconcile and one day, sitting at my kitchen table, my father quietly berated my unforgiving heart. Several years later, my father refused to share in my joy or rejoice that I had found a husband who honored me and treated me with respect and dignity.

He refused to attend our wedding or even acknowledge our marriage. This morning, at first I felt a weight of hurt and grief as I wept when you voiced the apology to the preacher's daughter but as the service progressed and I witnessed the conviction of the Spirit on a whole congregation of men and continued to hear your words of blessing I was overwhelmed with a feeling of cleansing and healing like I've never experienced. It was as if my father himself had made things right. A heavy weight has been lifted from my heart and the chains of hurt were shattered.

My bruised petals are healed and my joy could fill a rose garden. What happens is that if you hear a confession that may be someone you needed to hear it from but they never made that confession. Maybe they're not even on earth anymore. Maybe they're gone. Maybe there's no chance they would even ever speak this to you. Maybe they didn't know how. Maybe they would have wanted to.

Maybe they didn't know how. But I think that it is biblical and I think that it is healing to hear a confession. And so that's what I want to share with you all. I want to share a confession. It's not just for women.

It's for men and women. And I want you to open your heart. I want you to receive it if you need to just close your eyes and forget everything else and just receive it.

And maybe there are going to be some particular points where the Lord is going to speak to you. And I want you to receive this earnestly. I want everybody that's participating in my video just to receive this earnestly. And through this the goal is for healing to come and for us to be able to take new steps of forgiveness. So on behalf of the silent others I confess. I confess to every child who spilled her milk on mommy's clean floor or whose legs were too little to keep up with daddy or whose ordinary childish acts of irresponsibility were met with shame instead of understanding. I'm truly sorry.

Please forgive us. We parents often treat our children as if they're already adults. You were just acting the way a little child acts. You didn't have the dexterity to never spill your milk.

You didn't have the leg span to always keep up. We reprimanded you for breaking rules that you didn't even know were rules. And we acted disgusted with you for not understanding what no one had ever taught us, had ever taught you. Forgive us. I confess to every school child who was teased on the school bus or on the playground or laughed at in the classroom the saying should be reversed.

Sticks and stones can break my bones but your words can really hurt me for every nickname, every taunt, every smirk from every bully or brat. I'm sorry. We didn't realize that we were eroding your soul.

We secretly felt so bad about ourselves that we had to put others down in order to feel worthwhile. Forgive us. To every child of parents who were too busy. I'm sorry.

We were busy making money or making a name or building a business and we didn't realize that we had sacrificed you on the way. Forgive us. To every child of parents who were too consumed with their hatred of one another to notice you. I'm sorry.

While your parents fought, all you ever received were the table scraps of bitterness and the rinds of our rage. I say on behalf of those parents, forgive us. To every child who never knew a father, I'm sorry. I stand in for those absent fathers to say right now, I'm sorry. To maybe say for one, I knew how to sleep with a woman but not how to marry her and nurture her. I might have known how to make a baby but not how to father a child.

I have no idea what I have missed. I say on behalf of that father, I'm sorry. And to every child whose father left, I'm sorry. I say on behalf of that father, I fooled myself into thinking I could leave your mother without it seeming like I was leaving you. I didn't know that you would lose sleep wondering what you did wrong.

Please forgive me. To every child who was born a girl but whose parents wanted a boy, I'm sorry. As if you lack an important key that could change everything?

Is there someone you love who seems stuck? You'd like to help them but how? What's missing might be the timeless power of blessing. We all need a positive faith-filled vision spoken over our lives. Without it, we'll never rise to our God-given potential.

With it, we can let go of the past and move forward confidently under the favor of God. If you'd like to replace every curse with blessing in your life and if you'd like to learn how to speak life and empower the people you love, contact us today to get Pastor Alan Wright's new book, The Power to Bless. We have a very special offer this month. When you make your gift of $40 or more to Alan Wright Ministries, we'll send you two copies of the beautiful hardcover book, one for you and one for you to share as a gift. As an added expression of our gratitude for your generous gift, we'll also include a DVD with two important video teachings with additional content on blessing from Pastor Alan. Your gifts and only your gifts make this ministry possible, so please partner with us to help us reach thousands of people every day with the gospel of the grace of Jesus Christ. And when you do, you'll become empowered to change the world God's way by the power of blessing. As the year draws to a close, your gifts matter more than ever. In this final month of the year, your partnership is pivotal for this ministry.

Call us at 877-544-4860 or come to our website, pastoralan.org. Today's teaching now continues. Here once again is Alan Wright. I didn't know my little jokes were like daggers to your soul.

God made you who you are because of His perfect plan. It wasn't you I was displeased with. It was really me.

Oh, please forgive us and be your beautiful self. To every child of an alcoholic, I'm sorry. I say on behalf of that parent, I can't believe that I let a bottle capture my attention more than you. It was not my lack of love for you that led me to drink.

It was a lack of love for myself while I was anesthetizing my anxiety. You were being abandoned and I say on behalf of that parent, forgive me. To every school child who was shamed by a teacher, we wanted you to learn fast. So we would look like good teachers. We didn't have the patience to spend the time with you that you really needed.

We didn't know that singling you out for scorn was cursing your life. I say on behalf of those teachers, forgive us. To every child from a performance-based home, success and looking good meant everything to us. When we pushed you to excel, we didn't realize that you thought you were only valuable when you were succeeding. We're sorry for all the pressure we put on you. Sorry for the pressure we put on you.

We hurried you up through childhood and put all our broken dreams onto you for you to somehow magically fulfill and I say on behalf of those parents, forgive us. To every employee who was belittled or mistreated by a supervisor, I'm sorry. The workplace was the place where I shifted my shame. You had to take it. Your job depended on it.

I say on behalf of that employer and that unthinking boss, I confess I never stopped to think about your sleepless nights and gnawing anxiety that were the product of my pride and I say forgive me. To every church member who ever left church feeling worse than before, we thought, I say on behalf of misguided preachers, we thought we were being bold and really quote preaching the gospel when we shamed you over and over but we weren't. It wasn't the gospel at all. God wanted you convicted so you could be filled with the hope of change and we condemned you and left you with no instruction on how to change. You needed an encounter with the most winsome person in the universe, Jesus Christ and we gave you a set of rules.

The rules were good but they were impossible to keep without the power of the Holy Spirit. You needed the gospel, the pure gospel. I say on behalf of every preacher who has proclaimed a mixed gospel that has tainted with legalism, forgive us and to every victim of incest, rape, abuse, I say on behalf of the abuser, my soul was diseased. I was famished for approval. I abused you as the ultimate shifting of my shame.

You did not invite it nor deserve it. The horror of my deeds demonstrates not the depth of a flaw in you but the depth of disgust I had for myself. I left you to bear the weight of the shame because I didn't know how to give it to Jesus and I say therefore to everyone who has ever been abused, forgive. Please forgive. The cycle of shame can only be broken repentance, a change of heart, a change of mind replaces bitterness. Bitterness is a tool of the enemy. Hebrews says plainly see to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God, that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble and by it many become defiled. We have all in one way or another experienced some manner of offense against us and I invite you to forgive. I invite you to let go. To forgive doesn't mean to excuse.

It doesn't mean that you're saying that what they did was ok. It just says that I'm not going to let my heart be ensnared by the trap of bitterness. I love the words of Psalm 84 where the psalmist says the Lord God is a son and a shield. The Lord bestows favor and honor. What happened was the Lord himself he saw the shame of his betrothed, we the bride of Christ and so he sent to us the beauty of his holiness and the person of Jesus Christ and the thorns of the Savior's brow would only accentuate the aroma of his grace. God sent in a very real way a rose to his beloved.

He called him the rose of Sharon. I invite you to behold Christ's beauty. To just breathe in the fragrance of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. And I say again to the whole bride of Christ you are to God that precious rose.

It's a rose for a rose. That's the gospel. Alan Wright, today's good news message, A Rose for a Rose, concluding that particular teaching but the series continues and Pastor Alan will be back here in just a moment with a parting good news thought for us today.

Stick with us. Unlock the power of blessing your life. Discover God's grace filled vision for your life by signing up for Alan Wright's free daily blessing. If you want to fill your heart with grace and encouragement, get Alan Wright's daily blessing. It's free and just a click away at pastor Alan.org. Ever feel like something's holding you back as if you lack an important key that could change everything?

Is there someone you love who seems stuck? You'd like to help them but how? What's missing might be the timeless power of blessing. We all need a positive faith-filled vision spoken over our lives. Without it, we'll never rise to our God-given potential.

With it, we can let go of the past and move forward confidently under the favor of God. If you'd like to replace every curse with blessing in your life and if you'd like to learn how to speak life and empower the people you love, contact us today to get Pastor Alan Wright's new book, The Power to Bless. We have a very special offer this month. When you make your gift of $40 or more to Alan Wright Ministries, we'll send you two copies of the beautiful hardcover book, one for you and one for you to share as a gift. As an added expression of our gratitude for your generous gift, we'll also include a DVD with two important video teachings with additional content on blessing from Pastor Alan. Your gifts and only your gifts make this ministry possible. So please partner with us to help us reach thousands of people every day with the gospel of the grace of Jesus Christ. And when you do, you'll become empowered to change the world God's way by the power of blessing.

As the year draws to a close, your gifts matter more than ever. In this final month of the year, your partnership is pivotal for this ministry. Call us at 877-544-4860 or come to our website, PastorAlan.org. Back here now with Pastor Alan in the studio and our good news thought for the day after a very poignant thought in this teaching arose for a rose. Well, Daniel, I know that for many of our listeners, this is an emotional moment to have spoken some of the kind of confession that we needed to hear directly from the one who offended us.

But I think that it's a biblical practice and I think that it's one of the ways that God can lead us into an authentic act of forgiving, not excusing sin, but not excusing offense, but not labeling and harboring judgment against the offender as if we were in the position of God. And we can really, really let go. And there's something beautiful that happens in that for any and everyone, both of our men and women who have been hurt by others, I want to leave you with this thought that it is God's heart and His power to completely set you free and to take the shame off you. Such a unique message in a wonderful series that ran for yourself for years.

I'll never forget that day. It was like the sanctuary was filled with the very aroma of Christ as men are handing out roses and repenting and handing out roses and telling every lady a rose for a rose, a blessing that's being given and an act of contrition on behalf of those who may not know how to confess. And it's life changing if you could receive that.

Our listeners, like all of us, have been heard, every single one of us. And the key to freedom is not excusing the wrongdoing, but truly authentically forgiving. And this is part of the path to freedom from shame is to forgive those who may not have ever asked for your forgiveness, but you need to not hold on to your judgment of them, but turn them to God and trust them to Him so that you can be free. You can forgive in Jesus' name. Guilt and shame are two words that typically in the Christian world go hand in hand together, but there is a distinction between the two, right?

Well, we're going to learn a lot about that. You know, guilt is a real thing, right? If I commit a crime, I'm guilty and I have guilt. So we're all guilty. We all have sinned. We've all fallen short of the glory of God. To say shame off you is not to soften up on sin. That's not what it means. It's not to say that grace means that you get soft on sin either.

Instead, it says, what's the solution to all of this? And what we're distinguishing between is what some have called true guilt and false guilt. But shame is something that's not just the same thing as false guilt, and it's not even the same thing exactly as condemnation, but what we're going to learn is that shame really is a system of thought. It is a whole stronghold, a house of thoughts, a way of looking at life, a way of looking at your own life. And it's subtle at times, and you don't realize it.

And then there are others who have been through the deepest and darkest types of trauma for whom it is a poison that's been taken in very deeply and is very toxic. But the conviction of sin, as we'll discover, is a good thing. That's a gift from God.

It's good to know how we can go a better way. It's good to know how the grace of God can lead us into a better way of living. So that's the grace of God. The conviction of sin is not something to be ever shy about.

It's something we should run to because it's good. It's from God. But the shame that I describe in this series, Daniel, is something we say it's toxic. Some writers talk about healthy shame and toxic shame.

I never chose to do that because it just seemed a little confusing. So when we use the word shame, we use it only in the negative sense of that lie that keeps us anxious and keeps us distant from God and from others. And, oh, there's so much healing available. If you only caught part of today's teaching, not only can you listen again online, but also get a daily email devotional that matches today's teaching delivered right to your email inbox free. Find out more about these and other resources at pastorallen.org. That's pastorallen.org. Today's good news message is a listener supported production of Allen Wright Ministries.