A New Beginning presents a great book from Pastor Greg Laurie called Hope for America. Yes, we're in a political season right now. We need to vote. We should be informed on the issues as Americans and as Christians, but we should also recognize the ultimate hope for our nation is turning back to God. So I talk about this and a lot more in a book I've written called Hope for America. And I want to send it to you for your gift of any size.
Get your copy at harvest.org. You say potato, I say potahto. Let's call the whole thing off, right? Divorcing couples often complain about their differences. Pastor Greg Laurie says the very differences that brought them together. Wasn't it the fact that he wasn't like you, and she wasn't like you, and so you were drawn to them initially, but now somehow those differences have become irreconcilable.
You can get through any rough patch that you are in in your marriage today. She was drawn to him because he was the strong, silent type. Now she's miserable because he never shares his feelings. He was drawn to her because she was always so neat and put together.
Now if he leaves a sock on the floor, he sleeps on the couch. So how can marriages rise above the day-to-day agitation, heal the wounds, and get back on track? Pastor Greg Laurie has some good answers today on a new beginning.
After a replay of this study, go to harvest.org. I want to tell you a story about a couple. John and Christy. They met in high school and became friends first. Then they started dating.
Then they went steady. And eventually they graduated from high school and John proposed and Christy accepted. And the wedding day finally came. John could hardly believe as good fortune as his beautiful bride made her way down that aisle.
Meanwhile Christy. She was kind of hoping for a prince, but John was the next best thing. And they went up to the front and stood in front of the pastor. They repeated those sacred vows. It was almost surreal.
Like this can actually be happening. But it was. They were officially pronounced man and wife. And off they went to their honeymoon. Well they didn't have a lot of money. They had a little rented apartment.
The first piece of furniture came from Ikea. They didn't eat fancy meals but they were together. They studied the Bible together. They prayed together. They went to church together. They were inseparable. You cannot even say John without saying Christy. They were like one person.
It was fantastic. Well now we fast forward 10 years. John has been very successful. He has worked very hard.
And his career has taken off. They have a very nice home. In fact Christy is working also on the side to help make the house payment. They have two children.
A boy and a girl. And things are going reasonably well but there is a little bit of tension. They are not communicating as much as they used to. They are spending more time apart.
Not because they have to but because they have chosen to because far too often it always turns into an argument and it usually revolves around money. They have worked so hard for this nice house but ironically they have neglected their home. Christy is in the best shape of her life. She is going to the gym four days a week. John couldn't fit in that wedding tuxedo if his life depended on it. And also John just hired a cute news secretary that he is spending a lot of time with. And Christy.
She is kind of attracted to her trainer down at the gym. And the inevitable split is starting to take place. And they are spending more and more time apart.
Finally Christy. She says to John, I am leaving you. She is kind of hoping that he would stop her but he doesn't. And weeks turn into months.
And now a year has passed. And they decide they are going to get a divorce. They get all lawyered up. But they make a promise to each other. This is going to be a civil divorce.
We have been friends for so long. And besides we are always fighting. We might as well get divorced.
This marriage is over with. But it doesn't stay civil for long. And pretty soon civility gives way to anger. And anger to resentment.
And resentment to bitterness. And their best friend has now become their worst enemy. You have heard this story before. This is not a true story. But this is a composite story drawn from many stories that I have heard over the years of how marriages start to unravel. It happens far too often. The quote the theologian Freddie Mercury, another one bites the dust.
So you might say, well Greg come on. You know this is how it goes in the real world. People can't stay together forever. Especially if the love is gone. Think of it this way.
It is sort of like trading your car in on the new model. And that is just the way it happens. Well I suggest to you that is not the way it has to happen.
I believe you can have love that will last you for a lifetime. Now I can. Let's go ahead and applaud for that. That is good. I can speak to this with some authority because my wife and I have been married for 50 years.
And so time flies when you are having a good time. But you know you might say, well you guys are just different. You are like freaks or something. I don't know what is wrong with you. Well you know let me say this that there are no more opposite people than Greg and Kathy.
We see everything differently. Kathy is very neat. And I am fairly messy. She likes weird food like Indian food and Thai food. I like hamburgers and burritos.
Thank you. She is usually late. I am usually early. I am always in a rush.
And she is pretty laid back. But we are different. You know it is like that old song says, let's call the whole thing off. You say potato.
I say potato. Let's call the whole thing off. But then at the end of the song it says, but oh if we ever part it might break my heart. You see you put two people together they are going to have differences. But wasn't it those very differences that initially attracted you? Wasn't it the fact that he wasn't like you and she wasn't like you and so you were drawn to them initially. But now somehow those differences have become irreconcilable. What I am saying to you is you can get through any rough patch that you are in in your marriage today. Studies have found that two-thirds of those unhappy marriages out there will become happy within five years if the people stay married and do not get divorced.
Isn't that fascinating? So whatever you are going through if you could just somehow press on. If you could just somehow hold your course I think things could improve. That is why I have called this message Hope for Hurting Marriages Part 2. The things I am going to share with you are not new nor are they revolutionary.
But I assure you they work. It really comes down to this. Do you want a marriage that will last a lifetime? I mean do you really want it? And how bad do you want it?
Are you willing to really apply yourself toward it? You can turn your marriage into a classic. Some years ago I used to own a 1957 Bel Air convertible. This was a killer car. I got an amazing deal on it and it was in perfect condition. But the problem with my 1957 Bel Air convertible was the color. I liked it.
But no one else did. It was called Tropical Turquoise. Now I don't know if you have seen this color. I am looking for someone that might be wearing it today but no one would dare.
This gentleman here in the shirt is sir could you stand up in the turquoise shirt. Yeah. That man right there. That is pretty close.
That is pretty close. That is it. Ok.
Thank you. Why would you wear that color? No. I like the color.
See. And that was the color of my car. So I would drive it around. My wife wouldn't drive with me.
She says, I feel like we are in a parade. I don't want to drive in that car. I would pick my son up from surfing and he would say, dad could you not pick me up in that car. The only one who would drive with me in the car was the dog. So me and the dog went cruising you know.
Not quite what I was hoping for. But wherever I would go if I would pull over to get gas someone would inevitably come up to me and say, what year is it? In fact I knew they were going to ask it before they even came to me. I would say 1957. 1957. You know. And why did people say that?
Because it was amazing to see such a gorgeous car still on the road. You just don't see many classics like that anymore. Well the same can be true of your marriage. You know when you have been married 30, 40, 50 years and this day and age are so many divorces that is pretty unusual. Someone will ask Kathy and I, how long have you been married?
And we will say 38 years. And they will look at Kathy and think, was she like nine when you married her? But you know that is fantastic.
And your marriage can turn into a classic too. Pastor Greg Laurie will have the second half of his message in just a moment. Emails, phone calls and social media messages from listeners are so encouraging and they let us know the effectiveness of these studies. Pastor Greg, thank you for your dedication, your love and the great shepherd you are in sharing the gospel. I am one of the many who accepted Jesus through your A New Beginning radio program. I pray that the Lord will continue to give you strength and will bless you as you continue being a faithful servant. We're so grateful to hear of the changed lives through Harvest Ministries. And if you have a story to tell contact us and share it. Call 1-866-871-1144.
That's 866-871-1144. Well today Pastor Greg is highlighting practical insights on keeping our marriages healthy. Let's listen. Now before we say what the Word of God says let me mention this.
There is nothing that this culture or this world is offering that is going to help your hurting marriage. For the most part the culture is to a large degree hostile toward the family today. So we need to look to God's Word. That is where we are going to find the answers. Listen. I have never met a couple who were divorcing. Who were doing what we are about to read. I am going to repeat that.
Listen now. I have never met a couple who were divorcing. Who were doing the things that we are about to read. But every couple I know who divorced was not doing what we will read.
Now reading these words alone will not save your marriage. You must act on them. You must do them. And they are doable by the power of the Holy Spirit. These words are current.
They don't need to be updated or refreshed. They don't need to be rewritten to align with what is politically correct. They just need to be implemented because these are God's words on how a marriage should work. And specifically God's word on the role of the husband and the wife.
So let's start with man. Ephesians 5. Verse 25. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with a washing of water by the Word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So ought husbands that love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever yet hated his own flesh, but he nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. Where members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones, for this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his wife as his own self, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Now four times in eight verses men are simply told to love their wives. But how are we to love our wives?
Paul says, as Christ loves the church. You say, well Greg that is a tall order. Well yes it is.
But listen to this. Most men are not doing this today. And if they would start doing it I think it would transform their marriages. I heard a story about a couple that went in to see the pastor. They were on the verge of a divorce. They effectively wanted the pastor to agree that divorce was an acceptable resolution to their problems. And as they sat down and the pastor listened for a while he turned to the husband and he said, you know what?
The Bible says that you are to love your wife as Christ loves the church. The husband says, oh I could never do that. That is too high.
I could never attain to such a thing. The pastor said, all right if you can't do that let's lower it a level. The Bible says you are supposed to love your neighbor as yourself. Again the husband says, oh I can't even do that.
That is too high of a level. The pastor finally says, all right fine. The Bible says love your enemies. Begin there. Listen guys.
There is no getting off the hook here. You are to love your wife. But what does he mean when he says love? Well Paul uses that Greek word agape. A word that is used more often than any other word in the New Testament for love. It is the word that is used in 1 Corinthians 13 that we will look at in a moment where it is broken out and defined. It is the word that is used in John 3.16 when it says, for God so agape the world. It is the word that is used to describe God Himself when it says God is love. This is a supernatural love that can only be experienced by the Christian. The Bible says that this love, agape, is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. It is the fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5.22. So if you are a Christian you should be manifesting this love. Let me put it another way. The nonbeliever does not have access to this love.
Why is this important? Because the Christian has the clear advantage in the marriage. So don't tell me that you as two Christians can't work this out.
Don't tell me that you have irreconcilable differences. Are you telling me that Christ is not living in you and your spouse? Are you telling me that God cannot intervene and help you?
Are you telling me that your situation is hopeless? Listen to this. God has picked one symbol if you will to a lost world. To visibly show His love for the church and the church's love for Him.
And guess what it is. It is the Christian marriage. He says, world check this out. You see the way that that husband loves his wife. That is how I love the church.
Hey look at this. You see the way that wife submits to her husband. That is the way my church submits to me. So can you see now when a Christian couple breaks up with their so-called irreconcilable differences what a horrible testimony that is. How important it is for us to apply ourselves even when our partner is not lovable because they won't always be. In this excellent book, Love Life for Every Married Couple, Dr. Ed Wheat writes the following. And I quote, "'Even in the best of marriages, unlovable traits will show up in both partners, and in every marriage, sooner or later, a need arises that can be met only by unconditional love. Agape is the kind of love we need in these situations. This love has the capacity to persist in the face of rejection and continue where there is no human response at all.
It can leap over walls that would stop any human love cold. It is never deflected by unlovable behavior and gives gladly to the undeserving without totaling the cost. To the relationship of husband and wife, which would otherwise lie at the mercy of fluctuating emotions and human upheavals, agape love imparts stability and a permanence that is rooted in the eternal. Agape is the divine solution for marriages populated by imperfect human beings.'" Well let's look at this definition in 1 Corinthians 13. Keep a marker here in Ephesians 5 and we are going to go over to Corinthians for a moment and we will come back to Ephesians again. Here in 1 Corinthians 13 Paul doesn't define love as much as he shows us what love does. And every time you read the word love here it is the word agape. 1 Corinthians 13 for love suffers long and is kind.
Love does not envy. It does not parade itself. It is not puffed up. It does not behave rudely. It does not seek its own.
It is not provoked. It thinks no evil but rejoices in iniquity. It does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth.
Excuse me there. It bears all things. It believes all things. It hopes all things. It endures all things.
A more modern translation of the same verse goes as follows. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't have a swelled head. It doesn't force itself on others.
It isn't always me first. Love doesn't fly off the handle. Love doesn't keep score of the sins of others. Love doesn't revel when others grovel. Love puts up with anything and it trusts God always and it always looks for the best.
Love keeps going to the end. Ok. So here is my question guys. Husbands.
Listen now. Are you loving your wife that way? Because that is the kind of love Scripture tells us that we should have.
Now realistically I think we would all say we are falling short. I mean I would be the first to say, oh I don't always love my wife that way. If you want to feel bad take out the name love and insert your name in its place. Greg suffers long in his kind. Greg never envies. Greg is never rude.
Greg is never provoked. Well it is just not working at all now is it? But I will tell you a name that does work. Put Jesus in there. And it fits perfectly.
1 Corinthians 13 is a portrait of Jesus. But I want you to notice that this is what we should aspire to. This is not something that is abstract or passive. It is active.
It is functioning. Love doesn't just feel patient. It practices patience. It doesn't just have kind feelings.
It does kind things. Love is only love when it acts. 1 John 3.18 says, let us not love in word or tongue but in deed and in truth. This is the love we should have.
So don't say to me we have tried everything because you haven't tried this. Because if you were trying this your marriage wouldn't be in trouble. Today on A New Beginning, Pastor Greg Laurie points out what it really means for us to love our spouses.
And he has much more to come in this message, including a final comment from the study in just a moment. The Bible points out that the marriage relationship mirrors the relationship Jesus has with his church. It's all about love. And it's God's love that compelled him to send his Son to pay the price for our sins. Have you ever received that payment and made your peace with God? Pastor Greg, someone can make that kind of change today, can't they?
They can. And it's so simple. And I think because it's so simple, people think, oh, it can't be that easy. Well, look, Jesus did all the heavy lifting. He carried the cross for you. He died on that cross that he carried. This isn't about what you do.
It's about what he's done. But here's what the Bible says. Whoever will call upon the name of the Lord will be saved. So let's just say that you're caught in a riptide out in the ocean and you need help and there's a lifeguard at the stand and they see you. You've got to call out to them and let them know you need saving.
And the same is true when it comes to eternal life. Jesus is ready to save you. Will you call out to him? You say, well, okay, how do I do that? You do it through prayer. And prayer is just talking to God. So listen, I'd like to lead you in a simple prayer. And if you pray this prayer after me, I believe God will hear it and answer it and Christ will come to live inside of you. Thousands of people have prayed a prayer like this over the years that we've been doing this radio broadcast and have seen their life change. There's no power or magic in a prayer.
It's all about your commitment to Christ. But this is a way to call on the name of the Lord in this prayer. So if you want Jesus to come into your life and forgive you of your sin, if you want to know that you'll go to heaven when you die, if you want to fill that big hole in your heart, just pray this prayer after me.
You could pray it out loud if you like, pray it in the quietness of your heart, but pray these words if you would. Lord Jesus, I know that I'm a sinner, but I know that you're the Savior who died on the cross for my sin. I am sorry for my sin and I turn from it now.
And I choose to follow you from this moment forward. Be my Savior and my Lord. Be my God and my friend. Thanks for hearing this prayer and answering this prayer. In Jesus' name I pray.
Amen. Listen, if you just prayed that prayer, I want you to know that God has heard you and has answered it. The Bible says these things we write to you that believe on the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life, that you may know. It's yours now. God has given it to you because it's the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Congratulations and welcome to the family of God.
Yeah, yeah, that's right. And listen, we want to help you get started in this new relationship with the Lord. Would you let us send you something? It's free of charge. It's Pastor Greg's New Believers Bible. Scores of people have read this edition of God's Word. New believers love the study helps written just for them, and they appreciate that it's an easy-to-understand translation. We'll send it to you today. Just ask for the New Believers Bible when you call 1-800-821-3300.
You can call any time 1-800-821-3300 or go online to harvest.org. And Pastor Greg, we're so thankful for the work God is doing through this ministry. We're touching lives for eternity, and we're really thankful for our friends who see the fruit of this ministry and invest so this work can reach even further.
Isn't that right? Absolutely. When you invest in Harvest Ministries, you're investing in the souls of men and women, boys and girls. And what is the value of a soul?
Well, let me personalize it. What's the value of your soul? What's the value of the soul of your husband, your wife, your son, or your daughter, or your mom or your dad, or your best friend?
Well, I would say you probably couldn't put a price tag on it. It's so valuable. Well, listen, God says all souls are mine.
God loves us and sent His Son to die on the cross to pay the price for all of our sins so we could be forgiven and come into a relationship with Him. I can't think of a better investment of my resources, of my money, than in the work of the kingdom of God. So we would ask you to prayerfully consider investing in Harvest Ministries as we continue on to fulfill the Great Commission.
Yeah, that's right. And you can make your donation right now at harvest.org or write us at A New Beginning, Box 4000, Riverside, California, 92514. Or call 1-800-821-3300. That's a 24-7 phone number, 1-800-821-3300. Well next time, Pastor Greg brings us more practical help for troubled marriages.
Hope you'll tune in. But before we go, Pastor Greg comes back with more counsel for our marriages. A lot of times people will go and get counseling. I think that is a good thing to do if you get the right counseling. You want biblical counseling. Sometimes people go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist or sometimes even to a minister who will not give them proper biblical counseling.
In fact they might actually be giving them the wrong advice and in addition to that prescribe anti-depressants to them. So I have a way for you to save your money and stay off drugs. Try loving one another the way God tells you to do it. Just try it. Try it for a week. Just a week. I am going to do everything I can to love my wife this way for the next week.
If it doesn't work I will give you your money back. I heard a story of a drunk man who was searching under a street light for his wallet. Someone asked him, did you lose your wallet near here?
He says, no. I lost it two blocks over that way. He said, why aren't you looking over there? There is no street light. My best imitation of a drunk guy there. It doesn't do any good to look for something if you look in the wrong place. The right place is the Word of God.
