Talk This Way | Controlling Our Tongues

You're listening to A New Beginning with Greg Laurie, a podcast made possible by Harvest Partners, helping people everywhere know God.

Visit our website and learn more about Harvest Partners at harvest.org. Today, Pastor Greg Laurie brings some good biblical counsel about what we say and what we choose not to say. Valuable insight on taming our tongues. A true mark of spiritual growth is controlling what you say. We've all been wounded by something someone said to us, and if we're candid, we probably all admit we've said some things that may have hurt someone else. Once those careless words leave our mouths, there's just no getting them back. How can we control our tongues?

How can we keep that tiger in the cage? Today on A New Beginning, Pastor Greg Laurie takes us to some specific counsel in the book of James. Today's message is a featured part of our brand new series, Walk This Way.

So a number of years ago, I was in Virginia, and a friend of mine, Mel Graham, actually, he's a nephew of Billy Graham, has a cabin there, and he invited Kathy and I to stay in his cabin, which seemed like a lot of fun. It was very cold, and there was some snow out there. And he said, now here's the problem with this cabin. There's no central heating. We use a fireplace and a potbelly stove to heat it, so you have to keep the fire going all day and night long.

Well, listen, I'm from California, okay? So I have a gas flame in my fireplace, and my experience is turn on the gas or get a Duraflame log at the market, right? So I said, honestly, I hate to admit this, I don't know how to build a fire. He says, well, you start with kindling. I said, okay, where do you buy that? He says, you don't buy it. You go pick it up off the ground.

I said, okay, what does that look like? So he took this California boy out, and we're tromping through the forest, picking up little sticks and different things, you know, kindling, and he showed me how to build a fire, and we built a very nice fire. And then he said, okay, so now when it fills with ash, you scoop it out and you put it in the metal bucket.

You keep it on this concrete surface, and when the bucket is filled, you need to give it some time to cool down. You don't want to throw burning embers out. Then you throw it out, okay?

So I said, okay, got it. So the next night it was getting really cold, and the buckets were full of ash, and I thought, okay, I'll just throw out the old ash, and I put some more logs on the fire. Went outside, and I flung this bucket, and it's like everything went into slow motion, because much to my shock, it was filled with burning embers, and they were going into dried leaves. And they went here, there, and literally, immediately, the little fires are poof, poof, poof, poof. Oh, no. And so I jumped over to the side, and literally picking up burning embers with my hands and throwing them up on the gravel driveway, trying to stop a forest fire.

I'm yelling out, Kathy, Kathy, help me. So we couldn't find a hose, and I found a bucket, like the smallest bucket I've ever seen. I'd fill it with water, run over, pshh, run over.

Oh, my gosh. I almost had a heart attack. I literally thought I was gonna burn the whole forest down. So all night, I kept waking up and looking out the window, hoping to not see a fire.

Thankfully, one did not start. But I learned the truth of what James says in James chapter three, verse five. The tongue is a small thing and makes grand speeches, but a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. So let's see what the Bible says about our words in James chapter three, starting at verse one. And I'm reading from the New Living Translation.

Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. Indeed, we all make mistakes, for if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could control also ourselves in every other way. We can make large horses go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth.

And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, verse five, the tongue is a small thing and it makes grand speeches, but a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It's a world of wickedness corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it's set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It's restless and evil and full of deadly poison.

Okay, we'll stop there. So what do we learn about the tongue? What do we learn about the words from James?

If you're taking notes, here's point number one. What you say reveals who you are. What you say reveals who you are. Verse two, if you could control your tongues, you would be perfect and you would control yourself in every other way. The tongue is really a barometer of Christian maturity.

Socrates once said to a young student, quote, speak, friend, that I might see you, end quote. You know, we evaluate a person by what they say. And if your life is really transformed by Jesus Christ, your words will be transformed as well. Your faith will impact you in what you say and what you don't say. Jesus said in Luke chapter six, a good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.

What you say flows from what is in your heart. So what we say is so important because ultimately the Bible teaches that we will be judged by our words. Jesus said in Matthew 15, 19, every careless word that people speak, they will give an account of in the day of judgment, for by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned. In fact, the first sin committed after the fall was a sin of the words, when Adam effectively slandered God. And he said, Lord, this isn't my fault, it's the woman you gave me.

You're responsible for what has happened. So it was a sin of the words. And notice in verse one, James addresses his words to Christians. Dear brothers and sisters, this message of the misuse of our words is directed specifically toward followers of Jesus.

Followers of Jesus Christ. Now we may pride ourselves as Christians in the fact that we don't do certain sinful things anymore. And that's a good thing. But at the same time, we can also be responsible for doing other things with our words. We would never think of having someone we don't like assassinated, but we would assassinate their character over Sunday brunch. We would never think of pulling out a knife and stabbing someone, but we would think nothing of taking the blade of slander and stabbing someone in the back. So we need to control what we say. The Bible says that every man be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

But we're usually the opposite, right? We're quick to speak. I don't want to listen. I don't even want to hear the rest of what you're saying. I want to say what I want to say, and maybe what I'm saying isn't even based on truth, but I'm going to say it anyway. And so we're told to control this. Number two, we need to control what we say.

We need to control what we say. The tongue is like a bit in a horse's mouth. I mean, it's an amazing thing. How many of you ride horses?

Raise your hand. Well, it's amazing. You get on the back of this incredible animal, and with your reins and with the bit in the mouth of the horse, he will go where you want him to go. You can actually control a whole team of horses in the same way. We managed to tame all kinds of animals. Verse seven, people have managed to tame animals, birds, reptiles, and fish. No one can tame the tongue. Years ago, I went to the Rose Parade, the only time, in fact, and I remember seeing a guy riding a buffalo down the street. I mean, that's a big animal, the buffalo. So man, this guy with the bit in the mouth of the buffalo was able to control it. You think of the fact that we can tame killer whales, we can tame crocodiles, we can tame tigers.

All these animals can be controlled, but we can't control our tongue, or can we? It's set on fire by hell, verse six says. A single match from a cigarette or a campfire that hasn't been put out by a forest fire. You remember the words of the great theologian, Smokey the Bear, who reminded us all, only you can prevent forest fires.

Mountain climbers have told us that the vibration of one whisperer can bring down an avalanche. Bringing me to point number three, our words used right can do so much good. Our words used right can do so much good. Just one statement can set the course of your life. A single word of a judge can condemn or pardon you. Saying I do to a partner for life means marriage. Also saying I won't to the temptation of an extramarital affair can save that marriage from destruction. And most importantly, saying I will to Jesus Christ can change your eternal destiny.

Number four, our words used wrongly can do so much damage. Think about one single man from history, Adolf Hitler, with his demonic rhetoric that he gave to the nation of Germany and effectively started World War II. And not only was his nation destroyed in so many ways by his rhetoric, but also over six million Jewish people lost their lives in the Holocaust. And many Christians were put to death at this time as well. One man dedicating his tongue to the devil.

But now we take another man. In contrast, Billy Graham, our farm boy in Charlotte, North Carolina, who aspired to be a baseball player one day, but the call of God came to him. He dedicated his words to God, and the result is millions and millions of people have put their faith in Jesus Christ. So it just reminds us death and life are in the power of the tongue.

Who have you dedicated your tongue to? Pastor Greg Laurie will have the second half of his message in just a moment. We love hearing stories of how the movie Jesus Revolution is inspiring people in their faith walk. Pastor Greg, evangelism has always been my husband's calling until 11 years ago when he burned out from the stress of ministry after 23 years. The Jesus Revolution movie ignited a spark that has begun to fan into flame when after all these years he gave a sermon and his testimony at a small home church last Sunday. He is now considering going back into ministry. Thank you, Pastor Greg. If you have a story to share, why not call us and give us all the details?

Here's the number. Well, we're talking about the destructive potential of our words today as Pastor Greg continues our message in the book of James called, Talk This Way. There's many ways that we can use our words to hurt others. Number one is through gossip and backbiting, gossip and backbiting. Proverbs 20, verse 19 says that gossip betrays confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much. We're also told in Proverbs 26, 22, modern translation, listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy. Do you want junk like that in your belly?

That's a great translation. And I don't eat a lot of candy, but when I go to a movie, I do eat milk duds with my popcorn. And I don't know what's going on, and if anyone who owns theaters is listening out there, bring the milk duds back.

What's going on? They're not anywhere now. They're not in any theaters. And I went to a movie recently, and there were no milk duds. And I don't feel good after I eat milk duds, but I must have milk duds with the popcorn. I was in the drugstore the other day, and they actually had milk duds, and I bought like four boxes of them. And I brought them home.

Kathy says, what are you doing? I said, well, I can't find milk duds anywhere. I was so excited, so I wanted to stock up.

These were big, extra large boxes, okay? She says, you shouldn't have bought them. But that night, she made some popcorn. She was eating the milk duds. Why are you eating them if they're so bad?

But you know, the problem is you can't just eat one. Well, I'll have one more. We'll have two more.

I'll have five more. That's gossip. There's something very tantalizing when someone comes up and says, hey, have you heard the latest? I don't even know if this is true, but stop. If your sentence begins like that, do not say what you're about to say.

I don't know if this is true, but no, don't continue on. Or I wouldn't tell you this, but I know it won't go any further. And we rationalize the sin of gossip, and we'll say, well, I'm telling you this, so you'll pray. Shut up.

You know why you're telling them that, and you know why you're listening to that. And yes, gossip is a sin. Here's another way we can use our words to hurt others, innuendo. The cousin of gossip is innuendo. That's where you don't say it, but you imply it. Then there's a more subtle misuse of our words through flattery, flattery. In Proverbs 6 23, the Bible tells us that if we keep his word, he'll keep us from the immoral person and the flattering tongue of the seductress.

Listen to this. Gossip is saying behind a person's back what you would never say to their face. Flattery is saying to a person's face what you would never say behind their back.

Let me say that again. Gossip is saying behind a person's back what you would never say to their face. Flattery is saying to a person's face what you would never say behind their back. These are us misusing our words.

Point number five. If you control your tongues, it's a sign of spiritual maturity. Again, if we would control our tongues, we would be perfect.

And the word perfect means full grown. A true mark of spiritual growth is controlling what you say. I heard about a little boy that went over to a pastor's house while the pastor was doing some carpentry and the little guy's just standing there watching the pastor work away and finally the pastor looks over at him and says, well, son, are you here to pick up some carpentry tips? And the little guy says, no, I just want to know what a preacher says when he hits his thumb with a hammer. You know, I think a lot of people are watching us. What are you gonna say? What are you gonna do? You're the follower of Jesus and they're not rooting for us necessarily.

So we want to be careful but let's be honest. Even some of the greatest men of God failed specifically in the area of what they said. Job is a good example. God called Job blameless and upright but Job had trouble controlling his tongue as revealed in the final chapter of his book when he says in Job 40 verse four, I'm unworthy, how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. Isaiah was a great prophet of the Lord. Then Isaiah six, he had a vision of glory. He says, I saw the Lord sitting upon his throne. He was high and lifted up and his glory filled the temple and the angels cried holy, holy, holy is the Lord. So what was the reaction of Isaiah to all of this? He said and I said, woe to me, I'm undone.

I'm a man of unclean lips. As he saw God in his glory, he saw himself in his own sinfulness and the thing he specifically became aware of was his words. One man who seemed to have more trouble with what he said than any other was Simon Peter. I mean Peter was the kind of guy and you know a guy like this or a girl like this and you might be a person like this, you always speak your mind.

By the way, didn't you know there are inside thoughts and outside thoughts? Some things are better left unsaid but we just blurt out whatever comes out of my, we just blurt it out and that was Peter. One of the best illustrations of this is on the Mount of Transfiguration. A Peter, James, and John went with Jesus. They fell asleep and they woke up to see this sight. There on the mountain stands Jesus surrounded by Moses and Elijah. What a sacred holy moment and Peter decides to say a few words and he stands up and says, it's good we are here. I wonder if Moses turned to Jesus and said, who's that?

Yeah, he's with me. And then Peter's not done. He says, let's build three tents, one for Jesus, one for Moses, and one for Elijah and I love the commentary in the gospel that says, Peter said this because he did not know what to say. You ever had a moment like that? You want to say something and you don't know what to say and you end up saying the lamest thing of all time? There's an old proverb, it's not in the Bible but it's a pretty good one. It says, better to be silent and be thoughtful than to open your mouth and dispel all doubt. You know, you might be impressed with a certain person. Well, I like this person. And then they talk, I don't like that person.

They should have kept their mouth shut. There was another instance with Peter and Jesus at a place called Caesarea Philippi and Jesus was with the disciples and he says, who do people say that I am? And one responded, well, some say that you're Elijah resurrected, some say you're a prophet of the Lord and he says, well, who do you say that I am? Peter says, you are the Christ, the son of the living God. Jesus said, Peter, flesh and blood did not reveal that to you.

You didn't think that up on your own, buddy. And you're Peter and upon this rock I'll build my church. Now, by the way, Jesus was not saying he was gonna build his church on Peter. He was saying he was gonna build his church on this statement of Peter that Jesus is the Christ, the son of the living God. And then Jesus goes on and says, the son of man, speaking of himself, is gonna be betrayed, it'll be crucified and he'll rise again on the third day. And Peter, who probably thought he was on some kind of roll because of what he just said, began to rebuke Jesus repeatedly and the Lord had to turn to him and say, get behind me, Satan, for you're offending me. So in one moment he speaks a statement given to him from heaven and a few moments later he literally gives a statement from hell. That's how the words that we use work.

If we would just pause before we speak. Good practical counsel today from Pastor Greg Laurie from the first chapter of James. Glad you're along here on A New Beginning for our new series called Walk This Way. And Pastor Greg will have a final comment from today's message in just a moment. Well, we're making available the new film Jesus Revolution on DVD.

Yes, it's available on DVD now. And Pastor Greg, you've probably seen the film more times than nearly anyone, having been there during the entire production of the film from start to finish. Let me ask you, what scene in particular stands out to you?

What's a memorable moment to you? One of my favorite scenes in the film, Dave, is when Chuck is with his daughter, Jan. And Jan wasn't really walking closely with the Lord in the film version of her life and in the story of Jesus Revolution. And she was a believer, but she was disillusioned. She was wondering why Christians weren't more loving. And one day her dad comes home from a church service and he was a little discouraged at that particular moment in the story. And he's getting ready to eat the food that's left on the table for him by his wife, Kay. And then there's Jan standing there and they have a conversation. And I love what she says to her father.

So picture this for a moment. Chuck is sitting at the table. Across from the table is his daughter, Jan. And she says this to her father. You're out past curfew. You okay? Oh, I'm all right, babe. I know I've been distracted. I haven't been around a lot lately. No, Dad, stop.

I have something that I want to say to you. See, um, I was almost done with this whole Christianity thing. I was like, where's the love, you know? What are we even doing here? Where is Jesus in all of this? He seemed like a radical dude.

I'd like him, but this, I don't know. But then you did what nobody else would even dare to do. You let the hippies in.

Come to find out Jesus came in with them. And you know what? I'm proud of you. You opened yourself up to something you didn't understand. And I've changed because of it.

Thousands of us. But you don't have to carry it all, okay? Don't lose yourself in all of it. Don't carry it.

Also, don't do drugs. I love that statement Jen makes to her dad. When the hippies came in, Jesus came with them. Now, that is not to imply that Jesus wasn't in their church and wasn't working in their church, but it's sort of showing how Jen was seeing things, that she was a disillusioned church kid, but these young people coming to Christ impacted her, and then she wanted to be closer to the Lord and made a recommitment to Christ as a result.

Beautiful story, beautiful scene. And we want you to see it instead of just listen to it. And that is now possible because the Jesus Revolution film is available on DVD, and we want to send you a copy. Now, I know it's out there streaming already. Some of you may have already watched it on some streaming platform like Apple or Amazon. But listen, the Jesus Revolution DVD is special for a couple of reasons.

Number one, it has bonus content, including something that I think is very important. It's a special message I filmed as the sun was setting on the beach where I present the gospel, and I even have a prayer that a person can pray to accept Christ. There's other bonus content on this film as well, and you can show it to as many people as you want, and we will send you this special harvest edition of the Jesus Revolution film for your gift of any size. That helps us to continue to preach the gospel and teach the word of God. So order your copy right now. And you can see that scene with Chuck and his daughter in your own personal copy of Jesus Revolution on DVD.

Yeah, that's right. So get in touch with us today. Our phone number is 1-800-821-3300. We'll send the DVD your way along with a free streaming code to thank you for your donation right now. And thanks for keeping in mind that this resource costs us more than is generally the case, so your generosity is certainly appreciated right now.

Again, call us any time at 1-800-821-3300 or go online to harvest.org. Well, next time, more insight on how we can keep our faith on fire and keep our tongues under control. But before we go, Pastor Greg has this final comment for us. Now, I've told this to you before, but I want you to think about it.

Think, an acronym, T-H-I-N-K, before you speak, before you post, before you tweet, before you communicate, run it through this grid right now. T, is it true? What you're about to say, is it true and are you sure it's true? Number two, will it help? Sometimes something's true, but you don't need to say it.

Wow, you look overweight. Is that true? Yes. Is that helpful to the person? I don't think so.

Think about how it will affect the person you're saying it to. Is it true? Will it help? Is it inspiring?

Is it going to bring someone down or is it going to lift them up? N, is it necessary? Do you need to say this?

Could it be better left unsaid? And lastly, K, is it kind? Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? Is it kind? If I were to apply that principle to what I say, I would basically say nothing. Hallelujah. Let it be.