We're glad you're joining us for A New Beginning with Greg Laurie, a podcast supported by Harvest Partners. Get more encouraging audio content when you subscribe to Pastor Greg's Daily Devos.
Learn more and sign up at harvest.org. ...through life that's lasted 25, 35, 45, 55, 65 years. That's because they've given attention to that marriage. Some couples spend months preparing for their wedding day.
It can be intense, frustrating, and exhausting. And when that special day is finally behind them, sometimes they discover that the real challenges have only just begun. How can couples keep the fire alive and retain that love that brought them together in the first place? Well, some answers today on A New Beginning as Pastor Greg Laurie offers a message that gets us back to the basics of God's plan, Marriage 101.
J. Paul Getty, he was one of the wealthiest men that ever lived, also one of the most miserable men that ever lived. He made this statement, and I quote, I would give my entire fortune for one happy marriage. One happy marriage. Is that even possible in our culture today? The divorce rate is around 50%, more or less. But that rises when you get to the second marriage, or it goes to 60%. Then you go to a third marriage, it goes up to 73%.
So you wonder, is it even possible? I'll tell you what, I've told you this before, but my mother was married and divorced seven times. So I kind of know a little bit about divorce. I've not been divorced, but I've seen it up close and personal. I know about the devastation of divorce, and I want to do everything I can to encourage you when that day comes, if you're single and you get married, to honor that commitment for a lifetime. To keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and then half shut afterwards, okay?
To know what you're getting yourself into. I think sometimes we think marriage should be like a fairy tale, and they lived happily ever after. Well, it doesn't always work out that way, but I do believe you can live happily even after.
Not ever after, even after. If you do it God's way, and you can have a happy and a blessed marriage. Listen to this, a study was done, and it found that people were very happy in their marriage, 61 to 62%.
We don't hear that stat. We hear the divorce stats, but 61 to 62% of people who are married say they are very happy in their marriage. So I guess God knew what he was doing when he created marriage, and it's also fulfilling emotionally. Research has shown that married people live longer than the unmarried.
They go to doctors less and make less use of other healthcare services, and I think it's because you have somebody to help you in life. You know, when something great happens to me, the first thing I do is I call the gardener and tell him, no, I don't call the gardener. No, I call my wife, right? The first thing that I do when something, a challenge comes, I call my wife, what should we do?
How should we handle this? We do this together. But having said that, I don't want to imply that God cannot bless you as a single person. I think in some ways you need to be a happy single person before you can be a happy married person. Because if you think that a guy, girls, is going to meet all the needs of your life and he is going to come riding up on his white horse, or if you think that girl is going to come running down the beach toward you, of course in slow motion, right?
Slow motion as the sun is setting and the beautiful music is swelling and they are going to rescue you, well, you are going to be surprised. Now yes, they can do a lot for you, but ultimately what we really long for more than anything else is a relationship with God. So we need that to be first. And then having found that relationship with God, we need to find contentment in the place that we are at. Be it singleness or marriage.
So Paul said, I have found in whatever state I am in therein to be content. So we have to get first things first. But let me just say a few words to singles so you don't feel left out. As you are looking around, here is what you need to look for. Look for a godly person.
Start there. Now let me take it a step further. Look for someone who is even more godly than you. More godly than you are. So find contentment in your singleness before you go and try to find contentment as a married person. But let me say this. There is a certain flexibility in being a single.
I will give you a little homework assignment to look up later. 1 Corinthians 7. Paul talks about the mobility of a single. And he says, you know an unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work thinking about how to please him. But a married man can't do that. He has to think about how to please his wife.
That is not a criticism. When you are married you have to think about your wife. You have to think about your husband. Then when you become parents you have to think about your kids. You can't just run off and do whatever you want. But when you are single you have a mobility to maybe do things a married person could never do.
So if you are in that moment of singleness in your life embrace the moment. Be the godliest version of you that you can be. Serve the Lord. Take that free time you have and use it for His glory. And I just bet the Lord will just drop that person into your life.
All right. So let's look at Ephesians now and this is a few words to married people. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother. I am in verse 31. And be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and His church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular love his own wife as himself and see that the wife respects her husband. So we will stop right there. And this is Paul talking about what happened in the book of Genesis.
A husband and wife coming together leaving and cleaving. Just imagine for a moment what it would have been like to live in the Garden of Eden. I think sometimes we think of the Garden of Eden as a place that is not real.
Like Camelot or Neverland or Atlantis. But the Garden of Eden was a real place in which God placed real people. And they were brought together.
It surpassed all the beautiful places on the planet today. And Adam was all alone and he gave names to all the animals but there was something missing. And in fact it was someone who was missing and it was Eve. So the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam. And he woke up. There was Eve. He says this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.
So that is what is being talked about here. It is interesting in Genesis 2.18 God says it is not good that man should be alone. So I will make a helper comparable to him. And a better way to translate that would be who assists another to reach fulfillment. Even another translation would say someone who comes to rescue another. Eve came to rescue Adam from his loneliness.
And then Adam said this is good. Now there are two operative words. Write these words down if you would please.
Two operative words that must constantly be in play for a marriage to be vibrant and successful. And those words are leave and cleave. Leave and cleave.
Verse 5. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and cleave into his wife. The word cleave means to glue or to cling. So it is leave and cleave. So what does that mean? It means that first you leave father and mother. Someone sent a question in a few moments ago. I was reading over some of them. They said you know what.
It is talking about him and his wife. Our in-laws want to move in and live with us. Do you think that is a good idea? No.
I don't actually. And let me tell you why. Now if there was extenuating circumstances and they needed a roof over their head don't turn mom and dad away. But make it a temporary situation. Because if you have your parents living in your house when you are a married couple this could create tension.
There has to be a leaving. And that means a redefinition of old relationships. A son is still a son to his mom and dad. A daughter is still a daughter. But when she marries a man a new home is started.
A new family has begun. And her primary responsibility is to her husband. His primary responsibility is to the wife.
That is why God says for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother. And by the way that means that your wife, your husband should be your best friend. Marry your best friend. Now I think sometimes when you are single you are thinking oh we will get married and it is just sex. Nonstop sex.
There will be sex. But marriage is a whole lot more than that. It is companionship. It is friendship. It is communication. It is a partner for life that includes sex as an expression of that love and oneness and all that it entails. But you have to understand it is more than just sexual contact.
So you have to make that break. I heard about a guy that wanted to get married in the worst way. So he brought home a young lady to meet his mom that he thought had potential. And the mother didn't like her. And he went out and found another girl. Brought her home to meet mom that he thought he might marry. Mother didn't like her either. So then he found a girl that looked like his mother. Dressed like his mother. Even talked like his mother. But the problem is his dad didn't like her. So, okay, so it is leaving and cleaving.
You leave that person. Pastor Greg Laurie will have the second half of his message in just a moment. We're grateful to hear how Pastor Greg's daily devotionals are touching lives. And if you'd like to send a note to us, email Pastor Greg. Greg at Harvest dot org.
Do it today, would you? Again, that's Greg at Harvest dot org. Well, today Pastor Greg is offering some very practical biblical marriage advice in his message, Marriage 101. He continues now.
Now here's another interesting passage. Where we're told over in 1 Peter 3, Husbands, dwell with your wives according to understanding and give honor to her as to the weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers will not be hindered. You say, okay, well I got that covered. I'm living with her.
That pretty much takes care of that. No, no, the word dwell with her means to be aligned to her. And it also means to give maintenance to her.
And this is for her to him too. So if you have a car and you're driving along in your car and that little red light goes off, or on I should say, known as the idiot light, better pay attention to it. I actually had a vehicle that the idiot light went off and I didn't pay attention and I didn't put oil in the vehicle and it was a major problem later.
So pay attention. You might need gas. You might need oil.
You might need something else that needs to go in for some kind of a repair or whatever it is. So those lights go off. You give maintenance. If you want a car to last a long time, give maintenance to it. When you see a beautiful classic car cruising down the road, that's because someone has maintained it. And when you see a marriage cruising through life that's lasted 25, 35, 45, 55, 65 years, that's because they've given attention to that marriage.
But some people when they see the first idiot light go off say, I'm out of here. I'm going to engage in a conscious uncoupling and we're going to lovingly separate. Yeah, whatever. So you're not going to honor that commitment that you made. So it's leave, but it's also cleave. Now don't think of cleave as separating something. It's something coming together. Because the word cleave means to adhere to or to stick or to be attached by some strong tie. It doesn't mean you're stuck together. It means you're holding on to one another.
Big difference. See if I'm climbing up the side of a rock, I'm holding on. Why? Because I want to live. That's why. So in marriage it's not, yeah, we're stuck together, whatever. You know someone said in a question that I read in the back room, should we stay together for the kids? They would expect me to say no. I'll tell you my answer.
Absolutely. But I have a better reason. Stay together because God told you to stay together, number one.
That's the reason. Number two, yeah, kids is a good reason. And number three, your emotions will catch up with your commitment and time. Because in marriage you feel a lot of love at first. And then it ebbs and it flows and it ebbs and it flows and it changes and you change and they change and life changes. But you're honoring that commitment. And then the love comes back emotionally stronger than it's ever been. You don't feel it a day here or a day there. Whatever. The point is you keep that commitment throughout your life.
So yes, just stay together. And by the way you can almost take every social ill in culture today and trace it right back to a broken home. I was reading a couple of articles the other day about sex trafficking. How young girls get pulled into this lifestyle. And sometimes people will follow you on social media.
So careful who you let follow you. And they'll look for weaknesses in your life where you talk about you're unhappy or you're lonely. And then they'll start praying on you. They might make contact with you in some way. Instant message you.
Hey, I'd like to talk with you. And then what has happened to some of these young girls is these guys will grab them. Many of them are underage. And they'll get them drunk or high. And then they'll have sex with them. And then they'll take pictures of them. And say, now I'm going to blackmail you with these photos. And if you don't do what I tell you to do next I'm going to send these to your parents.
And I'm going to put them out on the Internet. So the girls now are caught into this vortex. And they become a sexual slave to some pimp who is pimping them out.
It's incredible. But as you look at these girls. In every instance of these girls that fell prey to this lifestyle they came from a broken home. Should we stay together for the sake of the kids? Yeah. That's a pretty good reason. Stay together for life.
The kids matter. Because these decisions you make have ramifications for generations to come. But in closing stay together because God called you together. And He'll give you the strength to be the man. To be the woman. To be the husband.
To be the wife He has called you to be. So much more I could say. But we'll leave it at that. But let me just end with this thought. And when a preacher says a thought it could be a 30 minute thought. And it may be a two minute thought.
We'll see. But of all the pictures that God could have chosen to show His love for the world. And of all of the pictures that God could have chosen to show how much His church loves Him. He chose marriage.
How do we know that? Because He says to the husband. Husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it. He said to the wives, wives submit to your husband.
Respect your husband. So basically here is what the Lord is saying. Hey planet earth. You want to know how much I love my people? Check out the way that Christian husband loves his wife. That is what it is like.
Hey people. You want to know how much my church loves me? See that wife over there.
Married to that guy. Look at the way she loves him. That is how much my church loves me.
What a beautiful picture that is. Why are we Christians right now? The Bible says we love Him because what? He first loved us.
Very good by the way. He first loved us. My love for God is a response to God's love for me. Despite my sinfulness and wickedness and shortcomings and all the horrible things that you and I have done. God loved me. And His love won me over.
I love that song that we sing. Reckless love. Some people freak out. Reckless love. What do you mean reckless? You know. Just chill.
Ok. The point of it is that God loved you so much He left His comfort zone to reach you. What do you think the story of the prodigal son is all about? It is a story of a father who ran to his wayward son. And by the way in that culture it was considered undignified for an older man to run.
Not to mention that it is harder for an older man to run. I know this from experience. But this is a story that Jesus told to show you what God is like. And Jesus effectively said God is like a father willing to lose his dignity if you will to get to his wayward son or daughter and forgive them.
We might call that reckless. But God calls that passion. And He loves you. And there might be some of you that have joined us and most of you have. At least physically. Except for this guy that just fell asleep.
And I want to say this in closing. Maybe you don't know if Christ is living inside of you. You are not sure if your sin is forgiven. You might be single. You might be married. You might be young. You might be old. You might be a guy.
You might be a girl. Everybody needs Jesus. He died on the cross for you. He shed His blood for you. And He rose again from the dead. And now He stands at the door of your life and He knocks and says if you will hear His voice and open the door He will come in.
If you have never asked Jesus Christ to come into your life why don't you do it right now? Hey if you are single no guy is going to meet all your needs. Sorry the best guy is taken. It was me.
I am off the market. Ok. No. I am joking. No. No guy is going to do it.
Including me for sure. I don't even want to ask my wife about that. But no girl is going to do it.
Marriage isn't going to do it. But Christ can do it. So that you must reach out to Him and say, Lord forgive me of my sin.
And if you have not done that yet do it right now. Let's all bow our heads and pray. Father thank You for Your Word to us. And I pray for any that have joined us who may not yet know You. Lord would You help them to see their need for Jesus. Help them to come to You and believe in You. In Jesus name I pray.
Amen. For those who have suffered loss. It's called divine disruption. You know Pastor Greg I have heard of some people who walked away from God when it seemed that He didn't answer their prayers for a loved one.
A loved one who passed away. What would you say to someone who is wondering if God is on their side? You know they are wondering if God can be trusted.
Well I think we have to look at the big picture. Is it a punishment or is it a reward to go to heaven? I would liken it to this. Let's say you went to Disneyland on a really hot day. You were standing in a really long line. And suddenly the CEO of Disneyland came out and he gave you his name. And then he said I want to take you to the front of the line. And I want to get you in the front of every ride as you come in to the park. Would that be a good thing or a bad thing? I think all the people waiting in line would envy you.
Hey you lucky dog how did you pull that off? An early death means an early crown. If you are walking with Jesus you don't have to fear death. Paul said to live is Christ and to die is gain.
Wait what gain? Yes gain because you are going to God's presence. So for the person who goes to heaven it's a wonderful thing. Now honestly for us that say goodbye to that person it's a very painful thing. And I know we wish that our loved ones could live forever. Well they will live forever if they are a Christian. But in God's presence not forever on this earth and saying goodbye is hard.
So when a Christian has a fellow Christian maybe a relative maybe a friend die. You need to remember this. You'll see them again. They're not just a part of your past they're also a part of your future. Therefore you do not say goodbye.
You say I'll see you later. So here's a book that I want to offer you right now that deals with that and much more. It's called Divine Disruption written by Pastor Tony Evans.
Now you all know Tony has a great radio broadcast. He's a prolific author. But what's unique about this book is he wrote it with his two sons and two daughters. It deals with the loss that the Evans family has faced. Especially having their mother go to be with the Lord and how hard that's been for them.
But how they've been able to deal with this loss with great trust in God. So it's called Divine Disruption and the subtitle says holding on to faith when life breaks your heart. So if life has broken your heart if you're hurting right now I think this book is really going to be helpful. I'll send you a copy of Divine Disruption for your gift of any size. Now some of you can send a large gift some a smaller gift. But whatever you send we will rush you a copy of Divine Disruption by Tony Evans and his children. And I know this will be a blessing to you. Yeah that's right and each of Tony's kids is in ministry and they're all great communicators.
So you'll get five different perspectives packed in one book. And a little tip chapter 11 is so helpful with some of Tony's strongest encouragement. We'll send you Divine Disruption to thank you for your partnership with us so this daily study time can continue. We're entirely listener supported and your donation not only feeds your own spiritual education and edification.
But it also helps us reach out to others in your community. So we hope you'll call us today at 1-800-821-3300. We're here around the clock to take your call. That's 1-800-821-3300.
Or go online to harvest.org. Well Pastor Greg you talked about the importance of coming to the Lord or coming back to the Lord. And no doubt there's somebody listening right now who would like to do that. Can you help them take that next step?
Yes I would be delighted to. And you that want to make this commitment or recommitment to Christ I want you to pray right now. And if you mean this prayer from your heart God will hear you. The Bible says draw near to God and he'll draw near to you.
And that's a step you'll be taking now. Pray this after me. God I know that I'm a sinner and I'm sorry for my sin. But I thank you for sending Jesus Christ your son to die on the cross in my place. Now I turn from my sin and I choose to follow you this day forward as your disciple. Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for forgiving me. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. Now if you prayed that prayer a minute from your heart God has heard you and he has forgiven you. We have some materials that we would like to send to you at no charge that will encourage you in this commitment you've made to Jesus Christ. Yeah that's right.
The materials are all assembled in what we call our New Believers Growth Packet. We'll be glad to send it your way if you'll get in touch with us just as soon as possible. It's free of charge. Just call us at 1-800-821-3300. We're here to take your call around the clock.
Again dial 1-800-821-3300. Or go online to harvest.org and click on Know God. Well next time Pastor Greg brings a timely look at the importance of seeing revival in our time. And more importantly the part we can play in making it a reality. Join us here on A New Beginning with Pastor and Bible Teacher Greg Laurie. This is the day, the day when life begins. Thanks for listening to A New Beginning with Greg Laurie. A podcast made possible by Harvest Partners. Helping people everywhere know God. Sign up for daily devotions and learn how to become a Harvest Partner at harvest.org.
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