Perfectionism and Your Marriage: Faith Chang

So one of the tensions in our marriage from day one, and it's still there, you know what I'm going to say?

No. Well, I mean, we started a conversation yesterday about perfectionism, and I was thinking about how that plays out in our marriage. I mean, we talked a little bit yesterday, but— You mean because I'm just so laid back? You're so laid back.

You just don't even care about anything, and like, well, let's just wing it again today. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson.

You can find us at familylifetoday.com. This is Family Life Today. That's been the tension is that— That I'm not that. You have high standards, and you're driving really hard. I'm not saying that I don't, but I tend to have more of a, let's just go with the flow, and that was good enough, and let's move on. Even the yard, you know, the yard looks great.

You know, if I snow blow the driveway in Michigan, you want me to snow blow five more neighbors before I come in. It's like, it's never good enough. That's been a tension. For sure, it's been a tension. Part of it's personality difference, background difference. There are so many things that make us different, and I think when we're dating, we really enjoy those differences, and then we get married, and it's a tension in the marriage. It's hard.

I loved that you were so laid back, and then after we get married, and especially after kids, I'm like, come on, man. What is the plan? What are we doing? Step it up. Those lines in the front yard on the mower aren't straight.

I'm like, what are you talking about? No, I never went that bad. I did it with myself. No, you just went back and redid it. That's what you did. No, I did not.

Anyway, we got Faith Chang back in the studio, who is a self-proclaimed Christian perfectionist, right, Faith? Sort of? Yes. Yes, yes. You don't have to say that with pride, do you?

No. It's not a bad thing. It actually could be a really good thing, right? Complicated question, but yeah, I mean, the striving for perfection can be a really good thing.

Yes, that's true. And your book is called, I love this, Peace Over Perfection, because as a perfectionist, that peace part, it can feel evasive. It can feel like, I want that so much, but because of perfectionism, sometimes it's hard to get there.

I think this is what we're all longing for, to enjoy a good God when you feel like you're not good enough, and that's the subtitle. And I love that because it plays into our spiritual lives, and we talked a lot about that yesterday. Yeah, so let's talk about your marriage. Forget our marriage.

No. Let's talk about yours. Maybe I should have brought my husband with me so that there's a more fair take on it. How long have you been married?

I have been married for 13 years now. 13 years. And four kids. Four kids. The ages of your kids are?

Are 12, 10, 8, and 5. Wow. Okay. You're in a busy stage of life. Your husband's a pastor.

Talk a little bit more like, what do you do besides being an author? And a mom. And a mom. Well, a pastor's wife in a small church, I feel like that would cover a lot. There you go.

That would cover a lot. If you're in ministry, you know what that means. That's a job.

That is. It is a calling, so I am grateful for our church and for serving there. I work part-time at a bookstore connected to a seminary and with children's books. And I write and I am taking a break right now from studies, but I'm also a student. I'm not sure how you're doing anything else besides raising your kids and helping with the church.

No. Actually, so the reason why I'm taking a break with school is because one of my seminary professors was like, this is an important season for you, not because of your book launch, but as a parent of young children to disciple your children at home. And I would say, because I was saying that this was going to be a busy season in terms of the book. And I was also going to take these classes that I was excited about. And he just kind of pulled back and was like, you know, Faith, when my children were younger, and it was just words of wisdom. And so anyways, that's why I'm taking a break. But yeah, my primary or one of my primary callings right now is to disciple the little ones at home. And as I'm growing as a disciple of Jesus to disciple them along with me.

Way to go. Now, how does your, as we talked yesterday, perfectionism or strive for highest standards and excellence, how does that impact your marriage? What would Jeff say? What would Jeff say? He would say you're better than you used to be by the grace of God. And, you know, I think one thing that as you as you asked that question that I remember was actually how our difficult conversations used to go when we were first married for a few years.

And it was actually a lot of silence from my end. And I would be just quiet. And I'm not just saying like a couple minutes, it'd be like we'd be sitting in the car, and it'd just be like 20 minutes where I'm not even saying anything to him. And it's not because I'm mad at him, but it's because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. Yeah, so it's just like, what do I say in this disagreement? What do I say, you know, and if I say this, then will it come across this way?

Is it the wrong way? And so a lot of my perfectionism, and we're talking a spiritual perfectionism, so it's not just like I want to be perfect in terms of this, a perfect wife in a non-Christian standard, but in terms of like what the scriptures command, right? Like speak with gentleness, speak truth, do things in love.

And so I think I was just so afraid of, I wasn't afraid of disagreeing, but saying something that I shouldn't say. And I had to learn actually how to be okay being in process in relationship, which is the mirror of me being in relationship with God, right? Who loves me in process, right? As I'm imperfect, as I'm striving towards the perfection that he commands, he still loves me and he knows me and loves me. And so for me and my husband, actually a lot of that, and it was hard for him because I didn't know until later, but the whole time he just thought I was angry.

Yeah. And I just, he just thought like, she's just so mad at me. That's why he wouldn't say anything because like she's just so angry. That's what I look like sitting next to him, just quiet.

And so I have grown so much since then. And I think he would say that that actually has been good for our marriage, for me to learn to not be afraid to make mistakes in marriage. Man, I just like, I got teary as you said that because of the purity of your heart.

And it shows like your love and wanting to be obedient to Jesus. But you're also saying, but then it could step into the part of that perfectionism, like I don't want to fail him. Maybe it became a fear of failing him. What does it look like now? Because that's what it looked like you were just silent. When you have more freedom in it now, what does it look like? Yeah, it looks like, you know, actually saying what I'm feeling. And I'm still growing in this, you know, instead of like, and this could just be personality and not even perfectionism. But I think I have like, I've come to realize that I have a little avatar, I think of my husband in my mind, like a representation of him, where I have these conversations in my mind. I'm like, if I say this, then he'll say this. And then that's what he'll say anyways. And so it's happening all inside me.

I need that avatar. But it's not accurate. It's just my representation of him. And so where I think is actually similar, I've learned in my relationship with God to be like, I think God's going to be like this, so I'm just not going to say this or not going to do this. And it all happens within my mind instead of actually going to God.

And so with now, you know, I'm learning, but it is still hard. But we're no longer sitting through like 20 minute silences of expressing how I'm feeling or yeah, saying to him like, this is what's happening inside of me and being less afraid of making a mistake. Do you think before you were afraid if he would love you, if you said the wrong thing?

I don't think I was afraid that he would stop loving me. But I do know that as I have grown in being me and being loved by him that I've realized, yeah, being known and loved is healing in marriage. Yeah, that's good.

Because it really is. So you're putting those perfectionistic heaviness on yourself. Do you ever put it on your husband like you want him to be perfect like we were talking about earlier? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm relieved that somebody else has done that. I didn't think I did. And I think I've realized that too as a parent, that being in process is such a difficult thing for me to understand. And that when I am not experiencing God's grace in my life in that and being okay with like, God loves me in process, he shows grace, he delights in the little steps of obedience that I take. And I'm only focusing on the ways that I'm failing to live up, then I only see that as well in my children and in my husband. And even if I'm not saying it out loud to him, it'll be something that's in my mind. There's this judgment and critical kind of lens in my mind of how he's... And this is even, it sounds really terrible because this isn't even just about like, I would feel a little bit better if it was about snow blowing, you know, but it's like about like who is as a Christian, you know?

Oh, believe me, it is on there too. You know, it's like a heavy weight, you know, of judgment, right? To be like, is he loving Jesus enough kind of questions, right? I don't think I think of it that way. I'm not, my husband loves Jesus. I'm grateful for that. But like, you know, could he be loving a little bit better, you know?

Yeah. And how do I make space for some of his in process or even just processing some of the things that he's kind of going through? He's still in process with God, working through some things that are difficult in ministry, that are difficult in, you know, in being a dad and being a husband and giving space for God to work in that is something that I'm learning. I'd love to hear both of you talk about that tension because when you're the spouse, and I'm talking about me, married to someone that's more of a perfectionist, I'm not saying I don't have any of that, but I didn't have as much as Ann. Often early in our marriage too, I mean, we've been married 44 years, so we're talking way back, year five, six, I felt like she really was disappointed in a lot of things in me. I don't lead her spiritually to the life she wants to, we don't read the Bible enough, we don't pray enough as a couple. Then we had kids and it's like, are you going to lead our kids? Here's what family devotions could or should look like. And I'm like, no, we're going to do it this way.

Remember? There was tension there because I felt like I'm going to do the things that we want to do. And we talked about this in our marriage and in our parenting, but I'm doing them different than you want me to. And so I feel like even though I thought it was a great moment, she's disappointed in the moment and in me. And we've managed that over decades, but I feel like a lot of spouses can feel that when they're not wired or looking at it the same way.

So how does a spouse like your husband, Jeff, or me, I don't know if Jeff was wired that way like me, but I often felt like I let her down. I didn't feel like I let God down because I'm good. But I feel like I know I did a pretty good job, but I know it wasn't as good as she thought I should be. Totally.

Yes. I mean, I was disappointed and let down. And so I felt, you know, I didn't feel free. I felt like, okay, I got to do better next time. But the difference for me, and this is where this is just sin, is I would put my own expectations on to Dave of thinking, like, you should want to be better. Don't you want to be great at this?

And, man, in the early years of parenting, that seeped right into my kids. Don't you want to be better at this? Don't you want to be great?

Don't you want to be great at what you're doing? And so I had this pridefulness in myself of saying, you could be way better. And all that did, I think, for Dave was made him feel like a failure. Felt pretty good about himself until I came along. You know, and the same with my kids.

I've already had that inner part that hadn't wholly healed yet. And so whatever they were doing, and this is that rub. Like, I do want my kids to do the best that they can do in whatever they do. Yeah, because there's a good aspect of that even for your spouse. But I don't want it to be contingent on my love or affection or approval of them, and that's where the rub can go wrong. So what would you say to the spouse that's wired a little bit like you guys and is putting that on their spouse? I would say sit with Dave and Ann and get some counseling.

No, no. You are the one that they should sit with. I think I'm like, oh, maybe my husband should be here.

And he'd probably be like, yeah, Dave, definitely a hundred percent. And so, yeah, I think that's something that I definitely have to grow in. And I don't know that I can speak with this in terms of authority or someone who has been there and kind of moved past it. But I do find that if I myself am enjoying the grace of God and recognizing it, then it is a lot easier to believe that, you know. I mean, you give away what you have and you can't give away what you don't have, right?

Yeah. And I think, you know, I think sometimes it's also for those who are struggling with, you know, perfectionism, the way that we bring that into our relationships. There can even be like a little bit of perfectionistic fear if I don't say something, if I don't do something, you know, then what if they head up down this path that is not where they should go?

You know, what if I don't, if I don't say this right now, then like my husband's going to, you know, just continue to be this kind of person and it's going to be bad for him because of this and this and this. So I think some of it definitely like for me can come out of just my own preferences, you know, my own like, I don't want you to do this right now because it's, you know, annoying to me, right? But I think some of that, that drive or that to put that on our kids is like, well, what if I don't push them and I should have, you know? And it's not like, you know, I'm okay with them not being the best if I knew for sure if God told me, your kids are not supposed to be the best, then I'd be like, okay, sure, God, sure, I believe you. But if I'm not sure, what if I'm supposed to do that, you know, what if I'm supposed to do this? And so I think that's like for marriage, for family, for other situations, there's this kind of anxiety that's driving some of our actions because we don't want to fail God because we don't want them to not be who God wants them to be. And I think one thing that's been helpful for me then is looking at my own life and in the scriptures of what God's providence is, you know, what does it mean that God is in control?

Like what does it mean that he is working in, you know, imperfect people to make them more and more like Jesus and even working through imperfect people to help others, you know? So I don't have to be afraid if I don't say this one thing right now and I don't correct them right now, then they're going to head down this path of, you know, unrighteousness, you know? And I think I remember when my poor daughter was, she was like, I think she was like little at the time, maybe like three or four. And we got in late to a hotel and then she was like unkind to her sibling. And I just went down this like hole of like in my mind of like, is she even a believer? Does she even know Jesus if she's treating her siblings that way, you know? And then I was like, I have to have this conversation right now.

She's like cranky and sleepy. And I'm like, do you know God? And I'm not like that, but kind of like trying to be like, what do you believe is the Holy Spirit of working your life, you know? And so there's just this anxiety I think that can like for Christian parents and Christian moms, but probably Christian dads too, I'm not a Christian dad. This idea of, you know, we have this task to disciple our kids. We have this task to be encouraging and helpful to our spouses in their relationship with God.

And if I don't do this right, then they're not going to turn out right, you know? But I think learning then instead to look throughout the scriptures and see how like, who is in control here? And who is in control? Not in a way that's like even just like a rebuke, like you need to like go out of control, but like in a comforting way through the stories of Abraham, you know, Isaac, Jacob, all these patriarchs of the faith who are making mistakes. And yet God is like, he's doing something here.

He's building a nation that brings glory to himself. And one thing that's really been comforting to me has been the story of Joseph and how, you know, in the end of Genesis, Joseph says what his brothers who had sold him to slavery and wanted to kill him. And all these years that seemed like they were wasted, they're afraid that he's mad at them. And then he says, you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good. And I think that's been comforting to me in my marriage, in my ministry, in my discipling my kids. When I think about the fact that if God, and this is, I got this from another pastor, so it's not like I came up with this on my own. But if God can even use the evil things that people do for good, you know, how much more can he use our attempts at doing good and even our failures for good? And when I am resting in that, then I show more grace to those people around me.

That's really good. I think that's really relatable as parents too. And I've seen like what all of our sons are in their 30s. And it's kind of crazy because I felt so much pressure as a mom. Like if I'm not, as you said, as a perfectionist, I'm not doing this and I need to do this and I shouldn't have said this. And the older I got, the more I realized, I just need to walk with Jesus and be faithful to loving him. I remember when I was in the midst of that parenting teenagers, I remember looking in the mirror one day and I had this inner voice. I felt like it was God saying, you're, you're striving. Your name is striving.

And it wasn't out of condemnation. It was this pure love out of a loving father who was saying to me, I want you to be free in my life. Like I love you. You don't have to perform for me. You don't have to go through all the hoops for me because I delight in you. I want you to understand my utter delight in who you are as my daughter made in my image.

And I remember I thought I have no idea what that looks like. And so I think the more I've pursued God in Jesus and understanding his delight, the more I've been able to relax in my parenting. And even with Dave thinking, Lord, you've got it. You love them way more than I do. It's exactly what you're saying. You love them so much more than I do. And you're leading them and drawing them. And if they fail, that can be one of the best things that has happened to our kids. It's not necessarily a reflection on my incompetence, but Lord, like you're going to teach them so much. And that frees me up.

Yeah, I was just going to, as I listen to Ann say that, I was thinking for the spouse that's maybe married to somebody that's wired a little bit more like the perfectionist. Well, you said earlier, Faith, she just resonated that it happened in her. When she started to rest in the grace of God for herself, it affected me. I saw it. I felt it. At this point, I feel like she looks at me and thinks, you're amazing. You are amazing. I love who you are.

I do. And that doesn't mean there aren't moments where there's truth like, dude, let's step it up, you know, and raise the bar. And that still happens. But it went from I feel like I was constantly disappointing her as a husband and then as a dad to I'm not that much better, but she delights in me almost like I feel like God does. And again, not that there isn't the tension that I want to do better because even as I look back on what I did as a dad raising my sons, there are moments that because I was so laid back, I wish I could have again and raise the bar and do a better job. But because you were able to look in the mirror and go, I don't want to be called striver. That's not who I want to be.

I've got to find out what it means to be free and peaceful in the grace of God. Because you went on that journey, it impacted our marriage and I feel like it made me free. So I'm just saying to the spouses that way, man, if you go on that journey, it's going to take your marriage to a whole other place. And it doesn't mean your husband or wife is going to become a slacker.

They're just going to see it away and you're not going to even look. But I think it's like even when you study parenting, the worst results with our kids are based on rule based parents. The ones that are highly dominant rule based usually don't get the results they're hoping for. Not that there's a correlation between how we do it and but there is. And when there's a balance of, yes, there's got to be rules and standards.

But there's grace and freedom to fall and not meet those standards and be loved back to it. Our kids turn out much better than you got to do this. You can't do that. You can never do this. I mean, the families that have the highest rules when their kids go to college, they go rebel.

It's like I was never allowed to do anything. And then when they can, it's scary what happens. I'm not saying that's always the thing, but it's the same thing in marriage. And that can be easy for a perfectionist to project that. Right?

Yeah, I think so. But let us close with, I wanted to ask you this, Faith. Like in your marriage or your friendships, I'm thinking of spouses or friends who have perfectionistic friends or a spouse.

What are the words that mean so much to you if your husband says what or your friend says this to you? That is a great question. Yeah, I think when they look me in the eye and say, God loves you and I love you. Yeah. There's just something about having that like eye contact and you know that they know you, you know? There it is. And it's this knowing of you and all of your flaws, all of your imperfections, all of your perfectionism and all your striving. And to say, I know that and God knows that and He loves you and I love you too. Me too.

I think everybody that would have any of those perfectionist tendencies to say, I fully see you and I fully love you. Yeah. That's the gospel. So there's this tension and we've danced around it for two days.

Yeah. And we want to be approved and accepted and stated by God that I am good. I'm good enough. But I'm not. And I know it and God knows it and He even says I'm not.

But in Christ I am. And so there's this dance we got to walk in our own personal life and then we project that in our marriage and our kids. So is the goal feeling good enough? Is that the goal?

Yeah. That is a really great question because one of the ways that I've seen perfectionism addressed, right, is just lower your standards, you know. Don't feel bad about sinning. I've had a teacher say this before.

I remember in high school, I still remember it because I was like, what? They're like, well, imperfections are what makes life interesting. But anybody who has been sinned against, anybody who turns on the news is like, is this really the goal to be interesting? Because it's not worth it to have a sinful world so that life can be interesting, right? And so the Bible doesn't address our perfectionism by saying like, your sin is great. It's fine, you know, like just accept your sinfulness, right?

God gives a better answer than that, which is I'm going to make you clean, right? You cannot earn and make yourself righteous on your own. So Jesus came, lived the perfect life, died, rose again from the dead. And theologians, they call this the wonderful exchange, right? Our sins go on Jesus. Jesus' righteousness and perfect record of obedience is given and granted to us, right? So when we talk about being good enough before God, there's kind of two senses. There's a sense of like, how do we stand before him on judgment day? Like how do we stand before him righteous? We're not going to be like, well, God, I strived and I did this and I read my Bible this many times. And, you know, I served you in, you know, these all these ways. It's going to be Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe, you know, sin left a crimson stain.

He washed it white as snow. And then out of that, we live unto God, striving for his holiness, striving for his perfection that he commands, not out of fear, but out of being accepted and belonging to God, right, as a child that's loved by God. And as a child that's loved by God, we are also good enough in the sense that he delights in our actions of obedience, right? He's not like, well, you served me, but that doesn't really mean that much. That's not what he does either, you know, when it comes to our service. Our service doesn't win his love, but he still delights in it. And so there is that sense of feeling good enough in the sense of feeling his delight as his child, as someone who is striving just like a child who, you know, who does something for their parent, you know, draws them a picture when my kids draw me a picture or my older kids do a tour without me asking, you know, there is a sense of I don't love you because of that, but that delights me and brings me joy because you're my child and I see that you're striving to honor me and to love those around you. I mean, when you hear that, what do you think?

I totally agree. I know that positionally we are good enough in Christ when we have surrendered and called upon the name of Jesus as our God and Savior. As I walked through seminary years ago, I was thinking, how much of our theology is based on our wiring? Again, I don't know how many people have even written about this, but I don't know if my grasping of I am secure in Christ, I am holy and beloved. I preached this yesterday and I can look in the mirror and celebrate who I am at the same time, knowing I'm a sinner and what's in me is ugly and dark.

Guess what? That's okay. And others can look in the mirror and go, I'm evil and dark. Yeah, I'm also a saint, but you know what I mean? And some of that, I wonder how much of the wiring of me is leaning one way compared to somebody leaning the other way rather than just the theology of what's written biblically because there's definitely a balance. And I'm reading through the Old Testament right now and here's what goes in my brain.

And I wonder how similar or different this is for somebody else. Man, these guys are really messed up people. I mean, I'm bad, but I'm not half as bad as David, you know what I mean, who's beloved. As a saint in scripture, I'm like, he's a lot worse than most of us. And other people are like, oh, I wish I could be like David.

I'm like, no, you don't. I mean, I'm getting off on a ridiculous thing, but I think how we view ourselves and how we think God views us affects our marriage, our parenting in big ways. I think that's the reason too. It's just another reason why we have to know scripture and the word and that is our foundation.

What comes to your mind when you hear that because you were shaking. No, no. Yeah, totally. I think, I mean, our view of who God is and of the Christian life and who we are is so informed by our church culture, traditions, the books that we're reading about God and which is why what Ann said, it's like there are things that are true that each tradition or each Christian tradition highlights and we need to search that in the scripture and that scripture inform us even more than doctrinal positions or Christian books like Peace Over Perfection because God's word is the final authority. And a lot of times I think Christian traditions kind of are trying to be correctives and that's what peace over perfection is. It's a corrective, but it's not for everybody.

That's what I told people before. Some people need admonishment. Some people need encouragement. That's what Paul says, right? Give the people who are idle and admonish them, warn them.

People who are weak and struggling, encourage the weak and being patient with all of them. And so I think there are aspects of our theology that maybe some of us are more focused on being like we are wretched sinners, but it's easy for that to kind of start affecting even the way that we see our imaging God. So like sin, we have to understand sin as something foreign that was added later on, you know, like Genesis 3.

It's not that you are despicable and worthless and useless and I think that's how perfectionists feel. And then when we hear theology that says like, well, you're just a sinner, you know, you are wretched, then it can kind of override even our understanding of our humanity that God says is good, right? And so there is a way that God loves sinners and He is not thinking, well, you're despicable, ew, but I'll save you, right?

But He hates the sin, but it's not a disgust of us as a person, you know? And so I think certain focuses can highlight certain parts of the Scriptures more than others and we need to have a holistic understanding of who God is, how He deals with sinners, with nuance and as a person. And I think that's what I'm trying to get at in the book is that God deals with us as persons and that He is personal. And so He can deal with David and deal with the complexities of the fact that He's a man after God's own heart and at the same time He's a sinner. I like that because it's too, as parents, our kids are being raised in a culture that is saying, you just be you, you know, be true to yourself.

Those kind of terms can feel like that's good, but it's not. And so to understand theologically and biblically who we are in Christ, it's important and it's important for us to help our kids understand how much He loves us, but how much we need Him. There are kind of two opposite errors when we think about God, right?

We can think about God as this, and this is prevalent in culture, like a cosmic Santa Claus figure, right? Who just happily gives us, what do you want? Or maybe were you good?

Were you good or were you bad? And I will give you the things that you want and whatever you are is, and want to do is fine whether or not the Bible says it's okay or not. Right? So there's that kind of error. And then there's also an error that thinks of God as just cosmically unhappy and authoritative in a bad, angry, impatient way. He just can't stand these dumb creations that He's made, but He'll just kind of hold His nose and do the right thing, right? To love them because He has to, right? And neither of those are biblical understandings of who God is. And so that's why we need to have scriptures inform our understanding of God. And perfectionists tend to lean towards one side, which is thinking of God as just- Tolerating us. Yeah, tolerating us or angry, or we know that He did certain things in the scriptures that were supposed to show us His love, but we don't really feel like He's someone we want to get to know or be with. And so that's why, again, scriptures need to be informing our understanding of who God is and what He delights in and what He asks of us. That's good.

I would add this. I think Tim Keller had a pretty good balance in his definition of the gospel. Have you ever heard it? Yeah. Yeah, it's so good. It's like we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dare believe, which that's half of it because it's like, you know, I'm bad.

No, you're worse than you even dare believe you are. You know, it's like, wow. But at the same time, we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dare hope. That's, in some ways, I think he captured the tension of the wretched sinfulness of us as humans, the beauty and grace of God as our forgiver.

They're true at the same time. And I think, you know, we want to be able to live in freedom. That doesn't mean I just do anything I want and God's a cosmic Santa Claus, but I want to be free, so I got to understand the grace part and tension with the sin part. It's possible to be free and have peace over perfection at the same time. Isn't the gospel such good news that it feels too good to be true?

It can feel like that, right? Sometimes it's just too good to be true, but it's not. It's better news than you think it is, and it's true. Our God is so amazing. I'm Shelby Abbott, and you've been listening to Dave and Anne Wilson with Faith Chang on Family Life Today. Faith has written a book called Peace Over Perfection, Enjoying a Good God When You Feel You're Never Good Enough.

And I know so many people, myself included, who struggle with that, never feeling good enough. The book really offers a fresh perspective on God's character and provides reassurance and guidance for Christians struggling with that burden of perfectionism. Well, this book is going to be our gift to you when you give to the ministry of family life. You can get your copy right now with any donation by going online to familylifetoday.com and clicking on the donate now button at the top of the page. Or give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that number is 800, F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today. Or feel free to drop us a donation in the mail if you'd like.

Our address is Family Life 100 Lakehart Drive, Orlando, Florida 32832. Now tomorrow, Dave and Anne Wilson are joined by our very own David and Meg Robbins as they explore the dynamics of perfectionism in relationships, personal growth, and parenting. That's tomorrow. We hope you'll join us. On behalf of David and Wilson, I'm Shelby Abbott. We'll see you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a donor-supported production of Family Life, a crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.