Abandoning Idols to Cling to God

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That's focusonthefamily.com slash careers. What God is doing through your life is bigger than you will see here, but this life is just a moment and one day we'll open our eyes in eternity and forever fill the fullness of joy, forever fill the fullness of peace, and our faith and our hope is that God is orchestrating our lives. The best part of heaven is with us today. It's God's presence. Phil Stacey is with us today on Focus on the Family and we thank you for joining.

Your host is Focus President and author Jim Daley and I'm John Fuller. John, I think we all have dreams of some sort. I remember in high school thinking, oh, I'd love to play pro football and I think it's 2% of college athletes make it to the pros, so I didn't realize that.

Yeah. A small dream, but the point is we get caught up in what we think the world has to offer. We forget to trust God and seek His will. I mean Proverbs 3 verses 5 through 6 have been kind of a life verse for me, you know, don't lean on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will set your path straight. It's been an awesome verse for me and sometimes though it feels like I'm not working in concert with the Lord and that's Romans 8 28, you know, where the Lord tells us He knows that all things work for our good to those who love the Lord and are called by His name. So that's hard to understand as well sometimes that all things really Lord, all things work for our good? Really?

Because it doesn't feel like that. Our guest today has seen that promise in his life and I'm excited to share his story with you today. You'll be encouraged to look beyond the things of this world to love fully as he talks about in his great book and to find true freedom in Christ.

Yeah I'll agree with that Jim. Phil Stacy is the creative arts pastor at City Center Church in the Kansas City area and he and his wife Kendra have two girls, Chloe and Michaela. You probably know him from season six of the hit Fox television show American Idol and in addition to his musical credits he's an author and he's really captured his life story in a wonderful book called Made to Worship Empty Idols and the Fullness of God. Phil welcome to Focus. Thank you I'm excited to be here. I'm sitting there made to worship you know you would not want to sing next to me.

So I'm gonna challenge that right from the beginning. Are all of us made to worship? I tell people at my church if you're a bad singer then make sure you're singing out really loud because if nothing else it'll force the people around you to participate just to drown out the sound of your voice. There you go I'm thinking in the car maybe anywhere by myself is safe but I kind of lip-sync when I'm at church. It's funny I think you know the Bible one of the most requested gifts from God is our song of course music is just a small aspect of what worship is but but I love it because it puts us all in unity you know I was in the military I remember doing these marches and we marched to the cadences and we were just all in step and you know Christ's one prayer for the people who would believe because of the testimony of the disciples was that we'd be one so I just think it's just a beautiful that's a great way to leave at the church to be one you know maybe we can all be in our own bad singing group together so let's go to American Idol that had to be such an amazing experience and you know I don't watch it often but Simon is it Simon cow cow yeah is that guy as mean as he seems a hundred percent oh but you know you know I feel like he's a better comedian than he is a critic like I just loved watching Simon before I was on the show the benefit is by the time I was on I was not on in 2007 so that was you know six seven years into the show and I think you know what you're getting yourself into you know what I mean like by the time you make it to the show you know you're putting yourself in a position where the man is gonna say something to you at some point he can criticize everybody so he's gonna criticize you but I thought it was fun hey let's start from the beginning you grew up in what you call a musical ministry family and describe that for us what was that like well my dad was actually a professional musician before he came to the Lord so he got saved in the early 70s became a pastor and basically took all those musical skills into his ministry so pretty much everywhere we went he was sitting on the piano or or participating in some capacity but I have a brother and a sister my mom was a great singer so she kind of grouped us together we had like the family trio and I don't know it was basically learning to communicate through song I mean it was pretty much and in that context how much pressure did you feel or did you feel pressure at all was it just part of the times there were times it wasn't just my family my extended feeling my mom has you know eight brothers and sisters and and they all have multiple children as well so you get the family together at these reunions and and everybody sang you talk in the book about school and some of the difficulties you had in school describe those well I just I was just a little bit of an awkward kid so you know I didn't know I didn't have I wasn't great at communicating outside of music so really I I had a little bit of a lonely childhood I guess there's people out there that'd be like well you had friends and and I did but it was really music that that invited people to me it wasn't me going out and being like hi my name is Phil anything like that so because of what a an important aspect music was there's just something special about seeing a fourth grader get up and sing at the school talent thing and he can actually hold a tune or something so everybody would come up to me afterwards oh my goodness here's my name you know so you had a lot of identity and for sure oh yeah at the same time I mean you weren't doing well I think you had to repeat eighth grade right well I didn't know we were gonna talk yeah it's in your book you wrote about it that's true you're right yeah I did I had to repeat the eighth grade at one point you chose art over music so obviously you're not into math and science but it wasn't then art and music at that time was really the two tugs in your heart what brought you back to to music after you kind of spent some time in school doing the arts yeah I will you know you you get older and my whole childhood was singing and everywhere you went again you see kids that can sing and everybody goes nuts over them but then all of a sudden I'm 14 13 14 years old my voice is changing and I couldn't sing anymore so when I went into high school I had to choose they had all the arts classes together band choir art all that stuff and ultimately decided you know what my music days are behind me I'm gonna pursue this art thing and I loved it but then my sister encouraged me to do a talent competition or not a talent competition but a basically a variety show with her and all of a sudden again it kind of opened the door to a lot of friendships so now I have a ton of people saying hey you should come join choir with us and and you should come be in shows with us and so it kind of opened up the door to a social life if that makes it right so music once again became kind of the core of your identity it's already much yeah it's been a common theme I have one hammer in my tool shed but let me let me ask you about your dad I thought this is a really interesting story in the book about you got a job you're waitering I think it's in high school right that's right and a lot of people left early I can remember working at a fast-food place I think I recall a scene somewhat like this where it was a light evening everybody left there's two of us remaining that's kind of yours this was yeah it was it was a monumental moment so the story begins I'm 16 years old I get a job working as a server for village in so a lot of people go into villages pancake house it's pretty good size restaurant but I was an awful server and to this point again like I just now said I've got one hammer I just felt like a failure at everything I will make you a bad server I don't know I just couldn't order right I would drop trays and I would just like my manager would not give me a section of more than one table it was bad that was a clue and he would only he would only booked me to serve tables on like Mondays and Tuesdays when nobody ever goes out so he's like we'll teach you eventually but I just felt like I just couldn't get it and so finally one one of these Monday nights he ends up scheduling me as a server but there's not really anybody in the restaurant I'm sitting around and and I started working at this restaurant because most of my friends worked there so it normally happens right exactly so we're sitting there and we none of us are really making a whole lot of money at this point we thought it'd be funny let's all just quit tonight the manager literally left early so he just tosses us the keys he's like turn the lights off lock the doors when you leave I mean I knew it was the wrong thing to do but I watched as one by one all these people left and suddenly there's only three people left there's a host there's a cook and there's only one server yeah and it was fine because really there wasn't anybody coming in until like nine o'clock at night all of a sudden you could see all these cars turning into the parking lot and I'm like what's happening right now I got I just froze and all of a sudden these people just start flooding into the doors and and I realized instantly that I was gonna have to serve all these people and and I've never served a table or more than one table at a time so my first instinct if you've ever been in a situation where you feel just completely overwhelmed you maybe you've asked God to get you out of that situation I called my father and asked him to get me out of that situation I was like dad you got to let me quit I cannot do this and there's a pause he says well son do you want to be a boy or do you want to be a man but this is the moment that's right and so I'm like you know I had no interest in being a man in that moment and I wanted to come home but I was like well you know what do you want me to do and he said well I want you to do what you committed yourself to do and the pivotal moment here is that you surrender your will to your father's even at 16 I knew that there's nobody in the world rooting for me like my father is and so I'm trusting him and so I'm like you know what I'm gonna do this all right dad I'll do it by the time I get off the phone the entire restaurant is set restaurant lingo for there's a person in every single seat in the restaurant and there's a wait up front and so I jump up on the host station and I'm like you know it was an Amway convention was in town so the all these folks came in from this Amway convention you know they're gonna want coffee and pie and all this stuff in I jump up on this host station I'm like can I get everybody's attention welcome to village in the bad news is I'm your only server and I'm not very good with me I'll take care of you to the best of my ability and they're all like woo at least it was a motivated crowd at least they were happy right but immediately you're kind of sensing you know this moment of like trusting in my father instantly dissipated because I didn't know what to do first and once I did go to the first table what do I do next do I go get their drinks and come at this the order of operations I didn't know them my boss isn't there and for some reason we didn't call them and I'm just standing there just feeling so like abandoned and alone and like I'm in over my head I can't do this when all of a sudden the front door opens up and in walks my father and he says how can I help you and it was just kind of pivotal because he was the personification of my Heavenly Father even through the night I mean he ended up staying till like three o'clock in the morning he served drinks for me he made salads he had absolutely no idea how to make and but he the point is he was there and through this whole night I'm thinking of these Bible verses are just kind of going through my head and it was like God was using that my dad was a preacher this was the best sermon he ever preached to me was just his presence and the fact that he was cheering for me was like the whole load was taken off of me and because I obeyed my father because I submitted my will to my father that night changed me first of all I went from a guy who couldn't do this felt like a failure to like a grandmaster ninja warrior of serving tables because I had to serve a whole restaurant you know and I went from feeling like I couldn't do something to feeling like you know what there's nothing that's impossible it's awesome if I'm working at it and then of course I prospered that night because I listened to my dad I ended up making a killing in tips and then just a couple of months a couple of weeks later actually they ended up making me an assistant manager I mean it was it was a really cool deal so just transformational I'm like a high school kid with a salary position love it that is a great story and we're talking today on focus on the family with Phil Stacy and this story and others are captured in his book made to worship and we'll encourage you to click the link in the episode notes or to give us a call for your copy 800 the letter a and the word family Phil you went to Lee University I think you became a Lee singer as it's known that included making a trip to China what happened and what did you learn through that experience yeah I went to China after my freshman year in college and the Lee singers is just a singing group they have several ensembles at Lee it's a very musical school I mean we have if you watch any musical reality show you've seen a ton of Lee students come through and if you've listened to country music or Christian music you've listened to the work of a lot of Lee students and I went and and I auditioned got into this group every summer we took a missions trip the very first one of course was China and we're there to do missions work and to sing gospel music and but it was polarizing to me to see how devoted so many of the religious followers of Buddhism were to their faith so I would go into these temples or pagodas you'd see people with their face down on the ground or or weeping as they burned incense or something and I just got a sense of jealousy for for God on behalf of how undedicated to worship I had been you know like I would sing or whatever but I just I'd never been in that posture of humility before God you know I think I'd to that point I had thought of God as almost like a buddy or a partner maybe a guide in and my family we read the Bible together every day I was in a church I was super involved and and all that stuff but I think it was just this revelation of who God is like he's God and that's where I want to be it's not I don't want to be on equal footing with him I want to be I want to be his child you know so just change the way that I worship him and and and my personal dedication to him let's move to you meeting Kendra you get back from China and you meet your wife it sounded like it was pretty fast oh yes of hi my name's Phil will you marry me yeah I mean by then okay so through my life you know I I was a follower of Christ I think I went to the altar when I was seven years old I had some you know some confusion around my faith when I was in high school but I something over the course of my freshman year in college just really drew me and I think I was truly born again in that time frame and of course like going to China and and learning and developing a new level of worship and devotion to Christ I think I was prepared and and I thought actually a couple of my friends on the China trip we made jokes it was a guy and a girl and we made you not really jokes we were like we're gonna we're gonna just devote our life to missions and we're never gonna get married you know we're gonna be like you pass up all and and those two ended up marrying each other but but the day I got home one of my friends from high school introduced me to his girlfriend his girlfriend's best friend was Kendra and I instantly thought you know this is a beautiful girl and she was funny hung out with her but that night I did go home and tell my dad I met the girl I was gonna marry it was her devotion to Christ really I mean just set her apart and knew I'd found a partner all right let's get get into a bit of the the idol chatter I guess you'd call it I don't know I you know I've watched a bit of that I watched The Voice you know I've seen a few of those shows but to your story a friend convinced you to audition and you made it through the the celebrity judges you could talk about the process but something was happening at home describe that whole adventure yeah I let's see by this point it was 2006 my wife and I had a two-year-old daughter and she was pregnant with our second daughter like you said I missed a buddy's wedding when you're in the military you miss other people's events it's just what you do and he told me the only way he'd forgive me as if I auditioned for American Idol it's interesting forgiveness trip I know I mean it was kind of a funny thing he wasn't really mad at me but he just wanted to see me do it and it was my last year I was even eligible because I was 28 years old but so I went to my commanding officer and I asked him for permission and the first audition was September the 2nd I didn't realize that it was like cut up into different auditions so the first day of audition you're going into this big arena it's full of people I think in Memphis we had 16,000 people audition that day so obviously Randy Paula and Simon are not gonna see all of those people but they dragged it out I mean I didn't meet Randy Paula and Simon till October the 5th so that was over a month away and by the time that came along babies do I was not even gonna go but my wife was like you've made it through you know three levels of auditions you might actually make it to Hollywood so that 16,000 got narrowed down to probably a couple of hundred couple hundred at that point for for the three judges and sure enough I come to Memphis to do my audition and my brother and my dad are with me and I get a call at like three o'clock in the morning and it's my mom who went to go be with my wife just in case and she's like do you hear anything and sure enough in the background there's a baby crying and and I'd missed the baby's birth so I go in and immediately I'm like I need to get home to be with Kendra but I go to the producers and I'm like hey guys I'm sorry I'm not gonna be able to do the audition I got to get home they're like well why I said my baby was just born and you know they're like lifting the cameras immediately they're like tell us that story you know so they ended up giving me like a three-minute segment at the end of that audition episode and let me go and audition first and then they they put me through to Hollywood oh that's great I know if they didn't put me through the Hollywood I would have been terrible well you missed your baby's birth sorry buddy yeah it's all downhill but but going through that then what happened we had a double elimination week one week I was the first one that was that was eliminated but made it into basically the top five week and it was a crazy experience you get to meet all these celebrities that you know you grew up listening to we met Diana Ross met Bon Jovi Gwen Stefani and Jennifer Lopez and they all come out and they mentor you and you get to do a lot of fun stuff like every Sunday we did these big elaborate commercials for Ford which was a blast you know you're going on set and you they're getting you dressed up and then you're doing all these photo shoots which I hated but all the girls just loved because they you know they do all the makeup and they bring out these wardrobes anything you put on your body you get to take home so like they're just trying on all these clothes and it was just a really interesting experience Hollywood was another how did it change you I mean you know from what you were going into that then coming out well there was a couple ways there was there was some healthy growth and there was there was some unhealthy stuff that happened so on the on the healthy side I think that I stopped really being so consumed without other people thought of me which is weird on a show like American Idol because you're trying to appease the people back home and all this I think you know my book starts with a really wonderful thing that my wife helped me see you know I remember every single week and if you go there these videos are out there on the internet and you can see every week how terrified I look like my eyes are just like I'm like shaking and then there's just one week that goes to like a completely comfortable level and the thing that happened between was my wife helping me to realize that I was letting pride into my life and you know I was a devoted follower of Christ at this point I you know was a was leading worship at a church and and all the stuff and I was just opening the door to some stuff and and that did play out I did open the door to some stuff specifically on the American Idol tour but but in this moment my wife kind of helped me realize you know even this kind of humility the kind of humility where basically you're just worried about what everybody else thinks about you is still a form of pride because God is going to do when you're when you're following the Lord the Holy Spirit is going to empower you to do what he's called you to do so if he wants me to to win if he wants me to get cut whatever I'm submitted to him as Lord and whatever happens he sovereign like you were talking about all things work together for the good for those who are in Christ Jesus so no matter what happens in this experience I can trust him my father you know just like I did my dad at Village Inn I can trust him no matter what happens he's going to be with me he's going to be there working on my behalf and so I think there was just this thing and I wish I could impart this to every follower of Christ to stop worrying so much about how you're perceived by other people that there is a real peace and joy and just following the Lord just living for him just surrendering to his purpose and letting it play out just trusting him well that may be the golden nugget of the whole discussion yeah I mean that really is it especially in the culture today and Phil that person who feels like God has forgotten them you know we've talked a lot of you've had an amazing you know journey the Lord's brought you through a lot of things introduce you to your wife rather quickly yeah you know all that stuff that you put into your great book made to worship but that person that feels forgotten that may be listening right now you know they're stuck in a job they really don't like yeah what what advice do you have for them living out Romans 828 how do you stick with it and trust that God does know where you're at he does love you he does care about you how do you get a different perspective on your life when it doesn't feel like it's going the way you felt it would yeah I think I think it comes down to that point of surrendering your will to your fathers and trusting and I know that that's not easy for a lot of people but I would really encourage that person if you're listening the program to really dig into the scriptures what you're gonna find is that out of 66 books there's not a single main character from the Bible that I would trade lives with they had struggles I mean we're talking real struggles people that lost their entire families people that were losing their friends to persecution and martyrdom looking left and right I mean the entire book of Hebrews is written to an audience that is watching their friends die for their faith God's sovereignty turns all those ashes into something beautiful if you're in the part of your story that is difficult if you're in your part of the Joseph story where you're imprisoned or where you feel imprisoned or where you feel like you're the lowest of the servants or whatever remember that God's sovereign plan over your life has already spoken so if you can put your faith in what God has already spoken through his word through the scriptures and understand that the big mosaic that he's orchestrating is bigger than any of us could possibly see your faithfulness to Christ in the midst of this will be effective for generations to come I think about how my granddad was a pastor and he just planted little churches and he felt like he wasn't educated enough to be a pastor so once they could afford a real pastor they would bring somebody in but man I've gotten to share the gospel with millions of people now because of the platform of American Idol I went around and worked with all these missionaries all over the world it's in the book just really cool opportunities but everything that I do including this broadcast that's an extension of that man's ministry you know it's it's it's his faithfulness in the little things it couldn't have been easy to put up these buildings in Kentucky you know you know almost single-handedly some of them but look at how that's it's not just me like so many of my cousins are pastors now so many of the people on that side of the family who have raised their kids missionaries now just incredible what God is doing through your life is bigger than you will see here but this life is just a moment and one day we'll open our eyes in eternity and forever fill the fullness of joy forever fill the fullness of peace and our faith and our hope is that God is orchestrating our lives the best part of heaven is with us today it's God's presence that is well said Phil and it's been great having you with us and it's a wonderful moment to be able to tell you we have caring Christian counselors if you're struggling in that area and you're not sure that God remembers who you are I guarantee he does but call us and let us schedule a time to have one of those caring Christian counselors talk with you we have plenty of resources here at focus to help you get a different perspective that is I think a godly perspective that gives you the peace of mind that the Lord knows you he loves you he cares for you and just be faithful I think there's nothing that puts the smile on the Lord's face like a person's faithfulness especially a person who's feeling like they're at the bottom I think when we can respond to the Lord in that moment it warms the heart of God that his creation loves him despite their circumstances and I counted a privilege as the orphan kid growing up that I could feel God's presence and love the Lord even though my circumstances were horrible and I think it does put a smile on God's face that we love him and trust him even in those moments yeah and if you're feeling a need to talk to somebody please give us a call you can also get a copy of Phil's book made to worship when you get in touch our number is 800 the letter a in the word family 800 2 3 2 6 4 5 9 John also you know we want to get this book into your hands we say this a lot if you can help us be part of the ministry that's the Lord's perspective there we're all doing this together if you can join our monthly sustainer group we'll send you a copy of Phil's book is our way of saying thank you for being a part of the ministry if that doesn't fit a one-time gift we'll do the same for you we'll send you a copy of the book and actually if you can't afford it we're not going to hold it back that's not what we do as Christians so if you need it get in touch with us and we'll give it to you trusting others we'll cover the expense of that and I just again thank you Phil for sharing your story with this it's been an honor thank you guys for having me and once again donate and get a copy of Phil's book made to worship or connect with one of our counselors or find other resources all at our website the link and all the details are in the show notes we'll have a great weekend and join us on Monday you'll hear a heartfelt tribute to a godly dad I totally understood God because of the man that was my father he showed who God was every single day well not every day cuz you know he had some imperfections to be he wasn't Jesus by any means hearing but he tried his best to live according to how the Bible wants us to live on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team thanks for joining us today for focus on the family I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ