Weeds of Unfaithfulness in the Garden of Love - Part B

If you ask a carpenter about driving nails, if you've seen a good carpenter that can hold a nail, it seems like move their hand away, think a few thoughts, and then hammer it down. I know it's not quite that long, but it's like it stands on its own and they hammer.

Sometimes one hit goes all the way in. If you ask the secret of doing that, a carpenter will say the secret is not watching your thumb but watching the head of the nail. If you watch the hand that holds the nail, you'll hit what you watch. So make sure you're only watching the head of the nail, not the hand that holds it.

And maybe that really is the secret here is the eyes on the Lord, the gaze and the fix on Him, His majesty, His holiness, His beauty, that He's the Lord of heaven and earth, my Lord, and I'll have no other gods besides Him. The fashion industry is mostly about making money, and one way that happens is with the creation of new and different clothing styles each year. There are subtle changes like the length of shirts or skirts and larger changes like the movement of jeans from boot cut to baggy to skinny.

Some stores go as far as to have radical styles that will literally be out of fashion in a few months, and they even change out their entire inventory every season. Well, today on Connect with Skip Weekend Edition, Skip Heitzig is tackling a topic that is filled with confusion and heartache. It's adultery, and it's the seventh of the Ten Commandments, just one part of our current Connection teaching series, God's Top Ten. We'll get started with that here in just a moment, but first, here's Skip with information about his brand new book offer. Can you imagine reading a biography about your life only to find details about your life that were wrong?

Well, it would be frustrating, wouldn't it? And God's nature, character, and motives have often been poorly portrayed and even intentionally misstated. And that's one of the reasons I decided to write the book The Biography of God, to open your eyes and heart to a larger picture of God. I hope you will go on this journey with me as we ask and answer the universal question, can we know God? Here's how to get your copy of my newest book, The Biography of God. The Biography of God is our way to say thank you when you give $35 or more today to help expand this Bible teaching outreach to more people.

Request your copy when you give online securely at connectwithskip.com slash offer or call 800-922-1888. I hope you'll follow along as Skip Heitzig takes us through Exodus chapter 20 with God's Top Ten. We're in verse 14 today, so let's join him now to begin. Do you remember that old saying, so a thought, reap an action, sow an action, reap a habit, sow a habit, reap a lifestyle, and sow a lifestyle, you may reap a destiny.

It all begins inwardly. I remember having a conversation with, he wasn't a young man, he was a middle-aged man and he had a problem with this, as many men do, and a woman would go by and his eyes would follow. And I brought it up to him, he goes, you know, I'm just appreciating God's creation.

And I said, well, I don't notice you're looking at trees quite the same when you go by them. You seem to be selectively enjoying God's creation, but he had so rationalized it at that point. It is fashionable socially, it is formed inwardly. A third thing I want you to note, it's fatal relationally, fatal relationally. Now you might think that's a strong word, fatal, but from an Old Testament perspective, it's not, is it? Because as I said, that was in the Old Testament context, the death penalty, stoning to death was the punishment for this. But there are consequences short of death, and I'd like you to consider them.

When I say fatal relationally, number one, it can damage you spiritually. I think of the peace with God that you lose, the fellowship with God, the emptiness that is felt because of this sin. Or, or worse, possibly, because the Bible indicates that an ongoing, continued, unrepentant sin would indicate a person isn't saved, right? An unrepentant, ongoing sin that is never dealt with, never felt sorry about, never struggled with or repented of. 1 Corinthians 6 9, do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, will inherit the kingdom of God.

Implicit within that are people absolutely unrepentant, no desire to change, no thought to change. It can damage you spiritually. It can also damage you physically. Many have gotten infectious diseases, STDs, from sexual promiscuity.

They live with a virus, chlamydia, the AIDS virus. And there's even an indication in the book of Proverbs of the physical toll that it takes on a person's body. Proverbs 5, verse 11, he says, until you mourn at last, when your flesh and your body are consumed.

Go back and read Proverbs 5. It's all in the context of sexual promiscuity. It can damage you spiritually. It can damage you physically. It can damage you emotionally. Guilt, anxiety that comes from deceit. Now, many times people having affairs will rationalize. And they'll say things like, well, I can always start over. I'm having this affair with this gal, or she'll say with this guy. I can start over. We'll get married. Now think about that. A relationship based upon deception. How long is that going to last, do you think?

I mean, think about it. Would you trust someone who habitually deceives their former spouse? Is that a great foundation for a new relationship? Marry a liar, a deceiver.

We'll start over. Ask those who have tried. It can damage physically, spiritually, emotionally. It can damage your family.

That's a fourth. Your mate, your children. Everything you've tried to build, you can erode trust instantly. Ask David. He committed adultery. He was heartbroken when Nathan the prophet pointed his finger at him.

He assured David that he was forgiven. But look at what happened as a result. Think of his son Absalom.

Think of his son Amnon, who followed in father's footsteps and also had problems with that very same sin. And it's more than just the sex act. It's being lied to over many months. Deception, the painful betrayal. USA Today had a little article snippet, as they often do, and they had the words of Fred Humphrey, the president of the American Association of Marriage and Family. His words, and I'm quoting, experts say extramarital affairs rarely have happy endings. Fred Humphrey says this, one half of the married couples involved in this either divorce or separate when one spouse learns of the other's affair. Others anguish over trying to salvage the relationship. Learning about it results in instant pain and anger.

And he closes by saying, there will always be a barrier to some extent. So think of it. It can damage you spiritually, physically, emotionally, damage your family. It can also damage your community.

This is what I mean. The Bible says when one member of the church suffers, we all suffer. The community of the Christian community is damaged. Every obedient Christian strengthens the church. Every disobedient Christian weakens the church.

It hurts and damages the community. It will also hinder unbelievers from ever coming to Christ. They'll look at believers doing it, and they'll think, there's no difference.

There's no difference at all. Remember what the prophet said to David? Because of this deed, you have given great occasion for the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme. Bottom line, sin is awfully expensive, and this one seems to take a heavy toll.

I know Holly Weird says, free love. Buy now, pay later. Oh, you'll pay later.

But they'll never advertise what you have to pay. Big time consequences. And primarily, it displeases God. Yes, it will damage you physically, emotionally.

It can damage your family, your community. But it displeases God primarily. You know, God is usually the last one considered in an affair, isn't he? In fact, I wonder if God were considered first, maybe that would help at least avert many of them. I think purity begins with loyalty to God. I think the seventh commandment is tied to the first commandment. I'm the Lord, your God. You will have no other gods besides me, before me, including sex, which is idolatry.

I think purity begins with loyalty. If you ask a carpenter about driving nails, if you've seen a good carpenter, they can hold a nail. It seems like move their hand away, think a few thoughts, and then hammer it down. I know it's not quite that long, but it's like it stands on its own and they hammer it sometimes.

One hit goes all the way in. If you ask the secret of doing that, a carpenter will say, the secret is not watching your thumb, but watching the head of the nail. And if you ask the secret of watching the head of the nail, if you watch the hand that holds the nail, you'll hit what you watch. So make sure you're only watching the head of the nail, not the hand that holds it. And maybe that really is the secret here, is the eyes on the Lord, the gaze and the fix on him, his majesty, his holiness, his beauty, that he's the Lord of heaven and earth, my Lord, and I'll have no other gods besides him. So it's fashionable socially.

That's why it's in the list. It's a problem. It's something that is formed inwardly, as Jesus says here in Matthew chapter five. It's fatal relationally, but number four, it's forgivable ultimately. I want to underscore that because sermons like this, you can usually hear a pin drop, even on a carpet.

People get really quiet, sometimes very nervous. But I want to bring in a very comforting text to scripture, not to wash over it, not to gloss over it, but to balance this out. This sin is forgivable because it is sin. First John chapter one, verse nine, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of all of our sins and cleanses from all of our unrighteousness. Think of the church of Corinth. You know the story probably that in 1 Corinthians, Paul is dealing with, in part, with the anxiety of a sinning brother in the Corinthian fellowship. He was committing sexual sin, a gross type. And Paul the apostle said, listen, you've tolerated this long enough.

He's unrepentant. Kick him out of your church. He's not to be allowed in there any longer. And he says, why? A little leaven leavens the whole lump. Get him out.

So they do. And he writes him a second letter. And the second letter, because this guy is outside of the church and has repented and wants to get back in, Paul admonishes them, now instead you ought rather to forgive him and to comfort him. Ladies and gentlemen, adultery is not the unpardonable sin. Because it is sin, it is forgivable. And God's grace is bigger than any sin ever. Paul wrote to the Roman church and he said, where sin abounds, grace abounds much more.

And I've personally had the joy of watching marriages, yes, even marred by this. Through a process of humility and trust in the Lord and commitment to one another get patched up, strengthened, and in some cases even become stronger. Fifth, and finally, I want to close by saying this sin is fixable presently.

I don't want to just end by saying it's forgivable. Hallelujah, let's sing and go home. But because it is an issue that will continue to be an issue, here's even more wonderful news for those who are still living on earth till we get to heaven.

It's fixable presently. It's also found in Matthew chapter 5. Look at that text once more. Verse 27, you have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not commit adultery, but I say to you, whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Now the next few verses are part of the same thought. Here's the fix. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you, for it's more profitable for you that one of your members perish and for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you, for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell. Now I know.

You read that and you go, that's the fix? That's supposed to be good news? That's gross? That's gross, right? I mean if you think of this literally, that sounds gross.

That's because that's the intended effect it's to have. You read this or imagine the hearers of Jesus on that mountain, ooh, that's gross. Here's the thought. This is hyperbole. This is figurative language. As if to say we must deal radically with sin. And those things in our lives that are causing us to move towards sin, we ought to cut them out if they're moving us in that direction. I'll give you a paraphrase of this. Martin Luther said, you can't stop birds from flying around your head, but you can stop them from building a nest in your hair.

So here's the fix presently. Two things based on this verse. Number one, pull up the weeds. Kill the weeds. Number two, cultivate the flowers. Kill the weeds, cultivate the flowers. Kill the weeds. Cut it off. Pluck it out in Jesus' words. So you have a relationship that's unhealthy. You're getting a little too close to someone, a little too familiar, getting too attached to someone.

The relationship might feel good to you, but it's unhealthy for your marriage. Cut it, sever it immediately. No mercy. No mercy. Or you have problems with your eyes, don't go to the magazine racks in the store. Don't flip the channel over there to those channels.

Don't get on that internet past that time or alone. You know those areas of weakness. Kill the weeds. Joseph did, right? Joseph. Joseph is alone in the house. Beautiful young woman, a wife who felt very alone, grabbed Joseph and said, Joseph, lie down with me.

Have sex with me. Now what if Joseph would have said, well, I don't want to be rude, and what a good opportunity to witness. Do you know God loves you and has a wonderful... No, he didn't do that. It says he streaked out of the house. Her hand was holding his robe and he fled naked, the Bible says. But he didn't stay in her presence. He fled. He ran. He cut it off immediately.

So that means we keep appropriate distance with the relationship, with some places, with certain phone numbers. Years ago, I got a letter. I opened it up. It was from a woman. I don't know her age.

I never called to find out. She said, I have a problem. I have a lust problem, she said, toward me. And I really want to deal with this, but I'm lusting after you. Here's my phone number. I need to work through this and pray through this.

When I got it, I did three things immediately. Number one, I gave the letter to my secretary and I said, you can call. Second thing, I called my wife, told her that I opened this letter and what it said, and then I went to my pastoral staff and told everyone what was going on. Listen, don't be a dartboard for the devil. The Bible says concerning temptation, do I? Flee temptation. Flee.

Some people flee temptation and they leave their forwarding address. I'm out of here, devil. Listen, here's my number, email address. Give me a buzz later on. God bless you.

No, no. Flee temptation. Kill the weeds. Kill the weeds. Second, the positive side, cultivate the flowers. Marriages do not collapse overnight.

It's a long process of erosion. How about simple things like a letter describing to your spouse how you felt the day you got married? Get in touch with those feelings. Reaffirm your vows one night over dinner, perhaps. And be committed to satisfying one another's emotional, spiritual, and physical needs. Paul said, 1 Corinthians 7, do not deprive each other of sexual relations. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, they should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7, good, solid, biblical advice to a married couple.

Satisfy each other emotionally, physically, spiritually. I want to close with this story. I just want to tell you a story. I discovered that the Department of Natural Resources for the State of Illinois issued a warning that every year, it seems in that state, their statistic, 17,000 deer die on the highways by motorists. 17,000 deer are killed every year by motorists on the state highways of Illinois. They say the peak season is late fall. We're coming into that season now. Here's why. This is what they say. Listen, in November, they're concentrating almost exclusively on reproductive activities and are a lot less wary than they normally would be. You know, deer aren't the only species that are destroyed by a preoccupation with sex.

A lot of people are. And it happens far too frequently, even among the ranks of the church. Dear Abby was right. The only difference between humans and animals is morality. So quit living like an animal if you are, and live at that high level of a son or daughter of the living God. Kill the weeds. Push away anything that might harm your marriage. Cultivate your relationship.

Spend time thinking about how to encourage and bless your spouse. Just a few things to think about as Skip finishes out this teaching, Weeds of Unfaithfulness in the Garden of Love. And that's where we'll pause for today on the weekend edition of Connect with Skip Heitzig. I'm so glad you're able to tune in for this important teaching.

And today's topic is definitely a hot button issue. God's Top Ten is our current teaching series, and it's available from the store at skipheitzig.com. This series is a dynamic look at the Ten Commandments, and you can get all 17 teachings bundled together as an audio CD package for only $39 plus shipping. So inquire today at connectwithskip.com. And now, here's Pastor Skip to tell you where else you can find him on the weekend. Well, I want you to know that because of support from listeners like you, our media ministry is expanding. Our weekly half-hour TV program is continuing to grow. In addition to our weekend broadcast on the worldwide Hillsong channel, we are now being seen each week on the Trinity Broadcast Network.

Thank you for your donations that make this expansion even possible. It's a joy to see the teaching of God's Word reach even more people. Here are the viewing details for Hillsong and TBN. Catch Connect with Skip Heitzig on the Hillsong channel on Saturdays at 4 30 p.m. Mountain, or watch it on TBN on Sundays at 5 30 a.m. Eastern. Don't miss your chance to dive even deeper into God's Word with Skip. And come back next time for more on the commandment that tells us not to steal. That's next on Connect with Skip, Weekend Edition, a presentation of Connection Communications. Connecting you to God's never-changing truth in ever-changing times.