Week 2 Desperation (Hour 4)

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One-year upgrade requires financing, qualifying, device and upgrading in good condition after six months with half paid off. Alrighty, it is the Zach Coast to Coast on CBS Sports Radio, fourth and final hour of our radio program on this fine Wednesday. So, we start to move on from the aftermath of week one and we go to week two in the NFL season.

And I'll just ask you a simple question here. Who needs the biggest week two bounce back? So, you look at a team like the Steelers. They got dominated by the San Francisco 49ers.

It was in the Steelers building, wasn't even close. And now you're hosting the Browns on Monday Night Football and the Cleveland Browns are a team that's 1-0 and just did a nice job up against the Cincinnati Bengals. You have the Cincinnati Bengals who we just said lost to the Cleveland Browns. They host the Baltimore Ravens. You got the Seattle Seahawks who had a lethargic, sloppy, ugly performance up against a bad Rams team. They lose that game. Now they're in Detroit up against the red hot 1-0 Detroit Lions. And you know what?

Can I actually call me out for something? Can I call a team red hot after one game of the season? But like the Lions are a team that it's like everyone's talking about them.

Yeah, rah rah. Go Detroit. Go Lions. Can I call them red hot after one game? No, especially with how they played. It wasn't exactly the cleanest or sharpest game they played to. Let me tell you, we got to put an asterisk on that victory. They're really 1-0.

But if the Chiefs had Chris Jones and Travis Kelce, I don't know if they would have won the game. You know, I got to go all Mike Torrico here. And by the way, I forgot to bring this up yesterday. Is John Perry like the biggest loser on the planet?

This was brewing yesterday. I said I was going to bring it up and then we were so much in deep on the whole Aaron Rodgers conversation. But that guy has the audacity on Monday Night Football. When the Jets just lost their quarterback for the season and Aaron Rodgers with an Achilles injury, the Jets had this great victory with a tremendous story in overtime. Xavier Gibson with the punt return for the touchdown. And like the second after that touchdown was scored, you had this TV ref jackass in John Perry going, oh, there should have been a penalty called on the play.

You know, we got to put an asterisk on this victory. Like, shut up. Stop, John.

Zip your lip. Read the room. Get a life.

Like, what are we doing? I'm not even a Jets fan. And that drove me nuts. And I said this for years. I can't stand the TV refs. All these guys, they slow down the play and they break down every little thing. And I don't think it was an obvious penalty.

I don't. But then on social media now afterwards, anytime a team loses, oh, well, the TV ref, he said this. He said that. Like, stop. Enough with the TV refs.

They had nothing to the broadcast. Nothing. And you have this guy saying that, oh, it's a win for the Jets, but you got to put an asterisk on it. No.

All right. I got that out of my system. Hickey, I actually think we should lean into this. I like Mike Torrico.

I like John Perry. More asterisks should be given out every week. Like the record should not count. I think only like three teams a week should get a win. Truly. Now we're sitting here talking about wins that should not count.

So let's let's let's really any week to when you give your predictions, give your predictions for teams that will win without one. Do me a favor. I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me to yell more. I'm going to breathe in. And I'm going to breathe out.

And I'm going to understand what you just said was sarcasm. These TV has got to annoy you, right? You know, I like Jean Starator and he's smooth. I like Mike Pereira.

He gives some weird faces at the cameras. I'm too long, which I appreciate. And by the way, good wishes to Mike Pereira. Yes. With the health situation. Fortune is not like he'll be on TV screens anytime soon. But like they had nothing. These TV refs like they go. It's past interference. You know, the guy found a way to drag down the wide receiver. Oh, it's holding. He tugged the jersey like when there's something chaotic, like crazy rules.

That's what I know. I need you not to just throw salt on on a great Jets victory. And you have to just basically marinated with stupidity right there. It's stupid. It really is.

I like how nonchalant he was to a big moment. Well, you know, hey, great win. But unfortunately, it's going to go down the history books. We're all going to remember this game as not the game. Aaron Rodgers got hurt in or the game. Xavier Gibson ran back a kickoff. I'm returning overtime to win an emotional game. It's it's going to be the leg whip game. It's going to be the leg whip game. Start calling it that now.

He sucks. I'm sorry. Any time now that I hear a TV ref, I just want to turn off my my screen.

And you know what? I'm actually annoyed because after the Super Bowl last year with the whole penalty, I was like, all right, let's go get a TV ref on. And I broke my number one rule is which is to not give these guys really not let them affect me. And we put them on the show.

And now it's affecting me months later. But I couldn't stand when John Perry said that. Who wants to seriously, Hickey, as a viewer, you're not being a troll and trying to get under my skin. Did you need to hear from John Perry in that moment?

No, not at all. Now, especially with the emotions of the win, even if there was it took away from Buck and Aikman. I just got to say, even if there was a dramatic or an obvious, I should say, penalty that was missed, what good is it? Like the moment is so big, you let it go. If I was Buck, I think I would have told him on national TV to shut the bleep up.

I think I really would have. You're going to talk back to the producers saying, Perry, Perry, Perry. No, John, be quiet.

No one wants to hear from you. Joe Buck has some clout where he drops like shut the bleep up. No one is firing him. You know what? That's the only time I want to hear from John Perry when Joe Buck tells him to shut the bleep up.

That's the only time I want to hear from him. And you know what? Joe's filled himself on Monday night.

You know what? Garret Wilson touchdown. Have you ever heard Joe Buck scream with that much emotion?

He was like, he was totally amazed. For football, I have for baseball. I just think Joe Buck, even though he loves baseball, the excitement is not there for baseball as it is for football. Like when he does baseball games, I don't love Joe Buck, who's the right like number one great broad, like one of those top broadcasters of all time. There's just something about baseball. I think the energy is different compared to football where there's a difference in his broadcasting kind of style, if that makes any sense. Let me tell you, ESPN needs him for baseball.

They do. Get him. Get him back. That Sunday night, you think I had a take about John Perry and I was screaming. Wait until I get into that just putrid and rancid Sunday night baseball booth. Oh, but you know what?

They're missing a robot ravage. That guy is not a play by play guy. Please. Terrible. And I mean, terrible play by play, man.

Just no personality. You know what? I actually appreciate when he does the games because then I fall asleep watching them on Sunday night.

And I appreciate then getting up a decent time in a Monday. The sweet dulcet sounds of Carl Ravitch putting you to sleep on like the eighth inning of a big Giants Dodgers game. A far cry from from the great John Miller. I will say that. Oh, geez. That booth is terrible.

Maybe Angel Hernandez as a broadcast. Can you stop trying to be a troll? Just stop. I'm trying to see how much I can push on this topic before you explode like a volcano. Trust me, I've already gone nuts here.

I don't need to go nuts anymore. But when you get to that that booth on for Sunday Night Baseball, it's like ESPN always pays people. They make them do 10000 jobs like Mike Greenberg. When was the last time he's actually hosted his radio show? That guy's on an NBA countdown.

Get off. He's he's all over the place and the guy never hosts his own radio show. Mike Greenberg, he does. Yeah, he travels with some at the we saw him at the draft. He does the NBA countdown show, which I think now he's off.

Yeah, but like he I mean, I don't know if he has an off day. He was sleeping in the office the other day watching the Jets. I think. No, he was at his own apartment, I thought. No, I think there was a watch party at ESPN, I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure that was his apartment, buddy. I think you're dead right now. I got to look at that.

I don't know. I'm telling you. It was from he had everyone over at his apartment. He was tweeted about it for a while. At least for the jet game on that Monday night. But anyway, when we get into Mike Greenberg, like how many times you hear Chris? Carlin say that he's filling in for Mike Greenberg.

I think Chris Collins, the host of that show, honestly, if I'm being serious. Why do you think I'm dead wrong on this? That that wasn't at his house. His wife was there. I mean, I only saw one time, but I just I thought it was like I saw like sleepover. I was sleeping over at the studio, which would make sense if you're doing get up in the morning.

Not over there. You're hyped up. He's in New York City.

Damien, Damien, what he was there. But it's like a nice like it's a nice camaraderie event for Jets fans at ESPN in Aaron Rodgers's first game and argued the most hype opening game in at least 20 years, maybe in Jets history. Trust me, it would make a lot. I think it'd be a good if I was the head man ESPN, I would have mandated Greenberg sleep at the studio cameras on at all time and see his reaction. And Greenberg is bougie.

And the moment the injury happens, he would go right to his New York City apartment, right to his New York City apartment. So I don't want to spend too much time on this, but it looks like you guys are conversing on the other side of the glass. So you may as well give me an answer here. I don't know.

I mean, honestly, I'm not I don't really care that much. So I just saw one time I just was kind of said it flippantly gotcha. And we all know how this works. That's a programing now idea. By the way, no one steal that. I'm taking that for myself.

Companies sleepover for a big game. My idea. Harry right now, you're talking too much.

But even when he's proven wrong, he's like, I don't know. I got to see something. I got to investigate it. I don't know. But anyway, who needs the biggest week to bounce back? We talked about the Steelers. They're going up against the Browns. The Bengals play the Ravens. The Seahawks play the Lions. The Chiefs play the Jaguars and the Bears play the Bucks. I'm going to go with a team that surprises you here. And I've not mentioned them yet.

And I'm purposely doing this. I don't think they win the game tomorrow night, but they need to win the game. And this is a team that last year they got dominated by the Philadelphia Eagles. And that game was at Lincoln Financial Field.

It's back at Lincoln Financial Field this year. But you look at the Minnesota Vikings, they lose week one to Baker Mayfield and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I know we all expected regression with the Vikings, but I didn't think it would bottom out.

And I still don't think it will bottom out. But if you start off this season 0-2. And I've been someone that has been defending Minnesota this offseason. And if this season starts off 0-2, you thought people in the offseason crushing and killing this Minnesota Vikings team saying that they were going to be terrible were allowed then. Imagine what's going to happen if they, let's say, get blown out by the Philadelphia Eagles.

You have a repeat of what happened last year. This is a big game for Minnesota. Minnesota not only has to show up, but I'll say they got to win the game. And I'm not going to pick against Philadelphia here in this spot.

But this is a big statement that Minnesota could make here. So who needs the biggest week two bounce back? You lose a game that you probably should not have lost to the Buccaneers. Now you're playing a really good team in Philadelphia. Hickey, my answer here is the Minnesota Vikings.

I mean, I know what you're saying. You're not pretty them to win. But that's one where, boy, that's been a house of horrors for them.

But the question is who needs the biggest bounce back? I think the last time they won in Philadelphia, I was there. That was the Linvold Joseph game where he had the touchdown and then he had the sunglasses on the sideline with the oxygen mask. So you have like a 40-yard touchdown fumble recovery? Yeah. Whatever it was, he ran a good amount.

Run, big man, run. That was a great call. It was great.

Wow. Bring Linvold Joseph back. But, man, last year they were just pants. That game was over at halftime. Philadelphia's great. And can I give you a little betting advice here?

Ooh. Dallas Goddard did not have a catch in week one. Plus 2.10, Dallas Goddard anytime touchdown. Last week I gave you a plus 400, Stephon Diggs and Garrett Wilson.

It hit. Dallas Goddard anytime touchdown tomorrow. Plus 2.10 or plus 2.15, I'm seeing it.

So that's what I'm going to go with. All right, who's your biggest week two bounce back here? I'll go the team also you did not mention.

I'll go the New York Giants. Now, look, they're going to beat the Cardinals. They're playing the Cardinals. But the Cardinals are scrappy against the commanders. The commanders won by one point. Not like Sam Howell lit up that defense.

That defense is scrappy. Oh, final score was 20-16, I thought. 17-16, I think. No, it was 20-16. Okay, so you win by four.

Either way, still. You win a game where you're losing the fourth quarter at home to the Cardinals, where most people think you are the worst team in the NFL, and now feel the Giants coming off that 40-nothing butt-whooping. I feel like the Giants are a team that maybe people are varied on the most in the sense that they can miss the playoffs, they can be, you know, a decent team. But that's one where you're coming off that loss, you have to send a statement. Forget about just winning the game, send a statement.

And that's one where if you don't look very good, season's over. Okay, let me ask you, out of 100%, what do you think the chances are that the Giants lose to the commanders? And I'm not saying the Giants are this great football team. I mean, probably 15%. But it's like, I'll be real with you.

I think it's lower than that. Like the Bengals, am I going to panic if the Bengals lose to the Ravens? I'm absolutely not. No, you won't. I'm not high in the Seahawks.

Maybe you could say they need to because more people are higher than I am. But that's a tough game at the Lions. Chiefs, look, if they're 0-2, I'm not panicking whatsoever. And you know what? I'll give you a take here.

Sure. I like the Jaguars plus three in that game. And you know what? I may even look at the money line in that game.

Wow, sprinkle, sprinkle. I think the Jaguars are going to win that game. And here's why. I don't know if Travis Kelce's going to play, even if he does play. I don't know how effective he will be. And Chris Jones is back. That's big for Kansas City. This game in Jacksonville too spreads Kansas City minus three. A lot of people could be on the Chiefs this week. I'll be on Jacksonville and I'll probably lose my money, but I'll take Jacksonville. And if you're right, are we going to come in Monday hitting the alarms for the Chiefs? No.

Um, no, you won't. But they need to win. But I will say, being someone that was in the penthouse for all those years and now starting to see life in the outhouse, whenever my team would maybe start slow, people would be like, the dynasty is crumbling. You have Trent Dilfer, now the coach of UAB.

Hey, Trent. The Patriots are not good anymore. You have Rob Parker, who made a career off betting against Tom Brady. Somehow he made a career.

It's just what it takes. It's not like he made any money off of it. But Nick Wright, who was always wrong about Tom Brady. Max Kellerman. So I just wonder how some of the national media, who kept on going after the Patriots with a slow start, would go after Kansas City if they started the year off 0-2.

But what I'll say is you, especially in listing all those previous instances... A lot of Jack A lot of John Parries is the verb that we'll use here. They were parrying. It took, what, a month for those takes to look stupid, right in the middle of October when the Patriots started to turn on its own. Oh, that 0-2 or 1-3 star was actually, were stupid for thinking anything but that they were going to turn around. So that's why I'm not panicking over the Chiefs.

Bears, I don't think are very good anyway to begin with. I look around like, look, it's a game that's a gimme. I'm not trying to tell you there's a danger of the Giants losing.

I think even if they play close, though, and win, it's one of those where it's, ooh, okay. Thanks. Your Bucks. Your Bucks.

My Bucks. Better beat the Bears this week. I agree. I am with you there. I am with you. Must win. Let me ask you this. Too early for a must win? No way. Because after 1-0, Hickey's walking around. He's like a peacock.

He's saying, oh, I'm the greatest thing ever. Look at me. Finally got a prediction right. It's going to be a good team if they lose to the Bears. I better be hearing some apologies and some mea culpas over the weekend because you cannot lose to the Bears.

The Bears are a bad football team. I think I will come in Monday with this little meme from high school football. You recall. Remember the little kid that was getting interviewed? He goes, I think I got my swagger back.

I'll be coming in peacocking big time with the 2-0 Bucks team, 2-0 Rams team as they're going to probably get annihilated by the 49ers, but I'll say now while I can. Actually, why I was laughing was because I was playing that off of the way that you were setting it up that if the Bears actually won, Hickey then would walk into the studio and be like, I got my swagger back. Because that would be the hot take Hickey and the mush would be back on.

The Hickey hex would be back on. Does not exist. It does exist.

Does not exist. We got people that tweet us all the time. It's amazing that Hickey always kills one football team right before the start of the season with how much you talk about them in the offseason. That just happens over and over and over again. And Bucks right now, 1-0 baby. Fire those cannons. Get ready, Gene. You're firing along. Hold on, really? Your big call for this season is really the Broncos.

It really is. You put them in the Super Bowl last year, winning the Super Bowl, stop it. And then this year you said back to the playoffs and you guaranteed it.

And now they're 0-1. You just lost to the Raiders, the team that you hate the most in football, with Josh McDaniels, my guy. What's up, Josh? Thanks, Josh. Appreciate it.

You still got one for the old gibber. But I'm telling you, you look at this weekend and this week of football, I don't believe Minnesota is going to win the game, but they need to win in a bad way. In a really bad way. The Giants. They're not going to.

You know what? I'll pick the Giants this week. I heard Christopher Mad Dog Russo say this today, I'll repeat it. I'll pick the Giants in my Survivor pool this week. I just don't, I don't even like the Giants heading into that. I don't think the Giants are that good. But the Cardinals? Joshua Dobbs is their quarterback? And you got Jonathan Gannon, Mr. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

He sounds like an alarm that needs new batteries to be changed. I can't see them beating the Giants. Raucous atmosphere.

What? All eight people going to the game? Cardinals fans before their hope gets zapped away. Please. I bet you there's a lot of Giants fans at that game.

Probably. That's a good destination kind of location to go to a road game. All right, who's the team that needs the biggest bounce back here in week two? 855-212-4CBS. 855-212-4227.

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What do you got? So I heard you're bringing up Minnesota, right? I actually tried calling you before week one, the Sunday game. Kind of want to make a point, you know, because I'm a Minnesota fan, miserable Minnesota fan, stuck in Jersey. But, you know, you look at on paper and obviously you look at, you know, on paper two last year, the 13 and four, obviously they proved all the haters wrong last year, dropping that game of the Giants. They wound up being 11 and one in the one score games and now going into this season, you look at them basically, not only based off the competition they were playing, but basically the numbers they put up offensively too. You know, Kirk were like the 300 plus passing yards, even you see Addison with the touchdown in his first game and yet they lose the game because of the costly turnovers. Meanwhile, you see Detroit take a game in Arrowhead when you see the Chiefs raise their second Super Bowl banner in three years because all of the balls he plays, play calling from Campbell and everything. So do you kind of see this pendulum swinging all of a sudden because I know you picked the Vikings to win the division too. I had the Lions, like I said, I think the Vikings are the better team, but I think the one critique I've had for them for like the past couple months is whenever they have a chance to prove people wrong, they never capitalize on it. You know, with the Giants, everyone had the Giants winning it. You saw a couple games, like when they played in Detroit last year, Detroit was the favorite at home and they were like three games worse on paper and now here we go, you know, week one people picking Detroit because they had a foul end to last season and all of a sudden you look at the, you know, the way the pendulum swing and here we are, Detroit's looking great.

It's very simple. You're going up against a Philadelphia team that's owned you, a Philadelphia team that's better. You want me to... Yeah, like you said, we got bullied around there. You got to go win this game coming up tomorrow night. I'm not expecting it, but that loss against Tampa Bay was putrid because you had, like you just said, you had all the yards there, but then in the fourth quarter, this team just stopped playing. And also the concerning thing is Baker Mayfield saying, I knew all the signs of the defense going into halftime. That's a brand new defense. I know they stunk last year, they were 31st, but you have a brand new defensive coordinator. How did he have all the signs of the defense already?

Well, I was just going to say too, you know, you look at, and that's kind of an art thing too. Everyone talks about 31 with the Vikings ranked 31st and he's like yards allowed per game. Number 32 was the Lions and I know, you know, you see Hutch having a breakout game. But they play better down the stretch defensively.

Yeah, no, definitely. And you know, this is like the first loss in more like a year and a half that you can't blame on Ed Donahoe's play call. That was more so Ed Ingram. It's unbelievable. You know, I say sometimes the fact that Ed Ingram's still playing snaps in the NFL proves anything's possible.

I mean, that guy is a walking liability to this team. You see, you know, the fourth fumble and you like the three fumbles in the first, the first half, even the pick in the red zone, the Osborne, I mean, you can't make it up, man. I appreciate the phone call there, Ross. You know, I'm surprised we didn't hear from. By the way, this week, Hickey, so far when we talked with the Vikings, do we have a new Viking fan on this show in Ross in New Jersey?

That's not two phone calls. He seems to be level headed about this football team. You know, he doesn't hype him up too much. I kind of like it the other way to see the slow demise of the fan.

I do enjoy that a little bit more. But Ross up against Scott in California to people that don't live in Minnesota could be our best Vikings fan on this show. Look, I hope, I don't want to say the F word of the Ross, I hope he's not a fan with a fan here where he calls about the Vikings disrespect, has no problems calling after wins.

They didn't win this week. That's what I'm saying. Where's Scott? That's what I'm saying.

I hope he's not a fan with a fan. Ross is here. Talk about the Vikings. Showing up. Scott is here every week when the Vikings win.

They won 13 games last year. And Scott plays the victim card, you know, everyone's down on us. No one believes in us where it and you know who I'm also not surprised we didn't hear from this week. And it's after a win to where's Jane Alaska?

Where is Jay? Jay calls us after every Raiders loss. Is he one of those fans that never actually wants to see the team win and only thrives when the team is a disaster?

I'm shocked we haven't heard Jane Alaska, especially Jay loves taking shots at you and how arrogant you were heading into that Broncos Raiders game. Maybe he's the Frank the Tank version for the Raiders like Frank the Tank is with the Mets where he's seemingly happier when they lose and miserable than when they win. Don't be going after Frank the Tank. I'm a big Frank the Tank supporter.

I'm just saying maybe Jay and Alaska same way where like you said he's excited when they lose compared to winning. Let's go to Terry back in Sacramento. Terry, what do you got? Hey, what's up, man? So I am actually from Redding, California.

I'm just working in Sacramento right now. But I had a little I had a little wager I want to do with Hickey here. Better record Raiders versus Broncos. And Zach should decide the punishment if well, when Hickey loses. Wait, wait, wait. So Terry, you just want me to come up with a punishment if the Raiders have a better record than the Broncos this year? Well, either way, whatever you do, you're not like coming with anything. And you know, I mean, I've done I've eaten crickets before when I had a bet with a buddy of mine.

I don't know. I mean, I would like to see a cricket if I'm being serious. Well, we got to do more than one we had like five five packer five pack of crickets. You know, we should do here and this could be a little bit lame. This could be a little bit soft. But Terry, if the Broncos finished with a better record than the Raiders, I need you in a Denver Broncos jersey tweeted to us on social media at Zach Gelb. But since I don't think that's going to happen, the Raiders will have a better record. If that's the case, Hickey has to dress up like Josh McDaniels, you know how much he can't stand Josh with his awful fashion to stupid sweatshirt with the sleeves and names rolled up. Do we have a better general?

Like Hickey's voice doesn't matter. I'm just going to force him to do it. But I need to know if you're OK with this, Terry. I'll do it.

OK, if the Broncos do it, I will. Well, you know what, actually, I don't think we need you to. Do you like crickets?

No, not really. So maybe you should eat crickets and you'll send us a video. I've done it before. I had to do it for ESPN Boise. Did you really? Yes, sir. I had a bet with my buddy over there, Sean Peabody, who's an announcer over there.

And needless to say, I didn't win. Gotcha. All right. Well, we appreciate the phone call, Terry. I don't know, Hickey. Kind of sound like a prank. I was waiting for the punch line there on the on the prank phone call. No, he was he was legit.

He was legit. I think one cricket Terry should eat for every Broncos win. So the Broncos win 10 games and the Raiders have seven wins.

Ten crickets. Terry's got to eat. I think that's what we'll do. I know.

I just hung up on Terry. But you have to go full Raider Josh McDaniels and lay into it Raiders look. And I will even give a one minute speech about how great Josh McDaniels is. You can't be condescending. You have to be serious. I'll be from the heart.

All right. You know, that's a gentleman's groom right there. I I feel a little doom and gloom sitting next to me. You know, I I hate to bring this up because it's awful. And I know how much Peter Schwartz was looking forward to this jet season.

And right. I even talked about this while the injury happens. How many kids are sitting with their dad and their mom watching the game and they're hyping up this season. I feel bad to do it, but I'm not a jet fan. Hickey's not a jet fan. And we have a jet fan sitting right next to us in a jet shirt.

And Peter Schwartz. So, you know, I usually have a college football coaches on after big wins and I go up coach I don't even ask you how you're doing. You know, you must be sensational after a big victory like that. So I feel bad asking you how you're doing, because I know the answer is going to be bad. I've had better weeks. I mean, yesterday was not in good shape. What'd you eat yesterday and do some comfort eating, right? I had a salad for lunch.

That's even worse. You got to eat like you get some Zorn's chicken or something. No, no. I've been trying to I've been trying to drop a few pounds at this. The last couple of days tested tested the diet. But no fat like cheeseburger or something like that today. Today splurged and had Wendy's four for four today.

OK. Yeah, that was today because I felt what you get a double stack. Only ketchup, only ketchup, only. Yeah. Fries. Yeah. Small, big soda.

No, whatever the one comes with, it's swollen. So I don't know if this is true, but I was I was on a radio show today. I go on with Mark Hoffman and Shannon Crowder and Alejandro Solano, Miami WQM in football season every Wednesday. And Mark Hoffman told me that McDonald's is getting rid of the self-service soda machines. They're getting rid of them. Mm hmm. Now, the reason I bring this up is a mutual friend of ours, Ray Martel.

Yeah. Ray Martel, every time we go to a Patriot game and he always drives, he will bring a McDonald's large cup that he has in his car and he stops at every McDonald's on the way. And he goes up to the self-service machine and he doesn't pay for it because it's free refills.

So I think Ray Martel is the reason why the self-service soda machine is going away. And I would have to go out to venture to guess here that you've probably done the self-service switcheroo as well. It happened one it happened only once. I total out it, by the way, I have not laughed like that in the last like 48 hours. So that was thank you very much for that.

That was funny. No, no, there was there was one time we were driving to Atlantic City, my wife and I for our anniversary. Yeah. And we stopped at one of the rest stops, you know, the service areas and we had Burger King and the Burger King had the big plastic soda cup. On the way back the next day, we still had that cup in the car and we stopped again to go get something to eat on the way home. And instead of getting another soda, my wife said, you think we can just get the drink? I'm like, sure, let's give it a shot.

And it worked. So now I'm just wondering here, because, you know, let's be real, the Schwartz family likes a few free things here and there. Yeah. Who doesn't?

Like some free wins the next few weeks. Well, I can't guarantee you that. No. But that laugh was that like out of respect to Ray Martel that he pulled off that move or just Ray Martel being a little bit of a shmuck.

No, no. I mean, I love Ray Martel. I mean, he's the he's one of the all time greats in our business. He's he's a really good friend. I love him.

But that is when you when you started giving that story, that was just typical Ray Martel. And he always justifies it. It's almost if I look down on him, which I don't give a crap. I don't go to McDonald's anyway. And he goes, you know, it's a it's a great thing that they have, you know, keeps the energy going and eat the energy for the car. I'm like, I don't care if you go get a free soda.

No, he just listen. If you don't have to spend money on something that you can get for free, you do it. You're not doing anything illegal, but I just always love how he has the cup waiting in the car. Like, how long is that cup in in the car? It could be like the DiMaggio hit streak for, you know, he's he's a piece of work.

He really is in a great way. So take me through it. All right. Let's go back to Monday around eight thirty Monday night, fourth snap of the game. Rogers standing tall, goes down, goes into the tent medical cart. I'm sure you're watching with your kids, right? Wife and kids. All four of us. Take us to the Schwartz household.

Go ahead. So they show Rogers sitting on the ground and my wife says, oh, no. And she's a jet fan, right? Oh, yeah.

That's the only thing that the whole family agrees on. And I just sat there with a stoic look, almost like a catatonic state. Were you in your spot on the couch? I spot on the couch. OK. You may want to move spots now. No, no, that's just can't do that. Sacrilegious. So we're sitting there watching it and just everybody's looks like like a hush over the Schwartz residence. And then it's not yet after a couple of minutes, then when they when they really when the doctors come out and they're there for a few minutes, then I yelled a couple of expletives.

Oh, Papa, Papa Bear was cursing first. Yes. I was just like, do you believe this? Do you believe this? This is four plays in.

Then when the cart comes out. The biggest reaction to this far is my younger son, Jared, who's 13, yells, do you effing believe this? Proceeds to then take off his Aaron Rodgers jersey. Oh, he threw the jersey. He did not.

No, no. He was in disgust, took the jersey off, went up to his bedroom, went to his closet and came back down wearing the Zach Wilson jersey. So it was provided a little bit of levity in a very, very tough time that he was recorded. I did not record. I was not video. I was not in a condition whatsoever to think straight about that. This could have been the opening to the Zach Wilson 30 for 30.

The Schwartz son. Well, no. And then Bradley chanted a couple of expletives and then I just like, I leaned back in the couch and I said, why does this effing team continue to do this to me? It is torture. It's it is. It is the absolute worst.

It is. I will always love that team. I've been a fan since I'm 10 years old. My dad took me to Shea the first time and that's the funny thing. My dad was a huge Giants fan and the first football game he ever took me to was a jet game with Shea against the Bills in 1977 jets lost.

But yeah, whatever. First of many that I saw in person. And but I just became a jet the first game was my first impression of the NFL.

I became a jet fan. And let me be clear. I'm not laughing, but just Peter sitting next to Peter and his delivery here and just seeing how Peter is like delivering this story and just I feel so bad for you. Well, I appreciate that. I don't really think you do. But no, this sucks.

It's horrible. It's and I was and I'm a happy person. You look dejected right now. You should have seen me yesterday. My wife almost knew me. I did it. My wife almost threw me out of the house yesterday. Go to the couch. Well, here. Come back. Go back to Monday night. So then we're watching the end of the game and going crazy at the end.

Obviously, I mean, I'm trying to make the best of the whole thing. Hip is OK. They what's that? Your hips after the celebrating. The hip is the hip is another story, but the hip is is structurally OK. Good.

It's led to a little bit of a muscle issue that I'm going to physical therapy for now. That's normal with this situation. OK. But it's totally has nothing to do with Aaron Rodgers, Kelly's injury. So so we enjoy the end of the game. And then Jared goes to sleep. My wife goes take care of some other stuff. And I sit down the couch and I put the jet post game on. Then I fall back into depression. That's what I kind of feel like. I had that five minute jubilation of the wind.

Yeah. And then I sat down to watch the post game and then the depression hit again and went to sleep after the post game. I woke up.

I was completely I've never been so disgusted after a jet win and got to the point where my wife my wife, who works from home to during the day, just like I do a lot of times the other things. And she said, why are you moping around the house? I'm like, what do you think I'm up with around the house for? She goes over the jets like, yeah, you can't mope around the house.

It's not worth that. Good for everybody's health around here. If you mope around the house.

Yeah. So after another hour of moping, I went to her and I said, you have to give me give me some supermarket stuff to go take care of because I need to get out of the house and to walk around. I was thinking about going to the mall, but if I went to the mall, I would have spent money that I didn't have. So like send me to the shop, to the supermarket. I then went out, did shopping, brought home lunch. That was the salad and just, it was a horrible day. I feel better today.

What's the record end of the year jets record one, nine and eight. Okay. I think that's fair. I do. Is Zach Wilson the quarterback the whole season? No.

Okay. James Winston, Mitch Trubisky. It's going to be somebody, I think this is going to be a very short leash and, and, and let me tell you, Robert Salas said all the right things, Zach's team got we moving forward with him.

He's number, he's our quarterback. But when you have all that talent on the roster and that defense, you, you can't let this go to, I heard people say you have to wait till the bi-week to make, no, no. If they lose the next two games, you have to go to somebody else. I hate to be the therapist here, but, uh, our time's up, I know I got to get to the break and you haven't paid for an extra 15 minutes. My scores are probably very old right now, so I apologize if I, if I don't take a break now, I'm going to come on back and we're going to have a dinner yet too. So I got to try and warm up that dinner pretty quick. Maybe we'll get you some Chinese food tonight. I got chicken franchise with me and you're on a diet too.

I portion control. It was a ready-made thing in the supermarket today. I'm just teasing. When you need to know what's happening, it's time to get in the huddle. The big question is Desmond Ritter. The problem that I think a lot of fans are having and looking at Desmond Ritter is they just haven't seen enough. They want to trust him. They want to believe, but I will tell you this, Jason, in the training camp sessions that I had a chance to go check out.

The one thing that bothered me was his aggressiveness to throw the football when he needed to listen and subscribe to in the huddle available on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcast. No one wants to get sidelined by COVID-19, including me, I've got my work, my family. I want to be able to keep my plans. I'm getting this season's COVID-19 shot. It helps protect against COVID-19, which can cause severe illness and hospitalization.

Learn about eligibility and schedule your COVID-19 shot on the CDC site vaccines.gov sponsored by Pfizer and BioNTech. You're listening to the Zach Gelb show. All right, Zach Gelb show, CBS sports radio final segment of the day.

You can think of O'Reilly Auto Parts where your car care needs get guaranteed low prices and excellent customer service from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Poll calculation, final calculations of the day. Who wins the AFC East this season? Bills, Dolphins, Patriots, Jets coming off of the Aaron Rodgers injury, Patriots having a decent showing up against the Eagles where they did lose the game, Dolphins high octane offensive game against the Chargers, Tua Tunga by Lowett, the Tyreek kill was unstoppable, and then the Bills, they're going up against the Jets. The Jets lose Aaron Rodgers on the fourth play of the game and then Josh Allen imploded.

Here are the final calculations. We have a tie for last place. Patriots and Jets at 7.4%. The Bills are in second at 28.4% and the Dolphins are at 56.8%.

And here's the stunning part. And this is coming from someone that has said before the start of the season, the Dolphins and all offseason when the Dolphins were going to win this division, Hickey earlier in the show and you are as stubborn as stubborn can be. You never change a prediction until you're proven wrong. I'm shocked that after one game you take the Dolphins and you say they're going to win the division when you said it was going to be the Bills all offseason long. Are we maybe a little bit overreacting?

Let me just say two week one people now in these poll question in the poll question here where it's 56.8% of the vote. And that's coming from someone who was a big believer in the Dolphins before the start of the season. The reason I'm saying no is this because I think the Bills have shown some flaws that bring questions and this was a chance again with Aaron Rodgers going out for all but four plays to put those questions to bed on a national stage and they kept the Jets around and let them hang around in that game and basically gave them the game and again if anything exposed more of their flaws and brought up more questions. So I mean sure it's week one of people going a little overboard but it's also not like we came up with the Bills thinking they're bulletproof and now all of a sudden we think opposite. There are flaws there. It's amazing to me how they still don't run the football with actual running backs and they have not improved that running back room enough to get something to work where they actually believe in it to take the ball out of Josh Allen's hands a little bit more. A lot of the same problems we talked about end of last year showed their ugly head in week one. Not changed. Cults how you doing Jonathan available pull the trigger Jonathan Taylor first to find eggs who says no the Bills Well no loss guess it won't run the ball anymore. Your loss. Yeah you're like the Colts calling the Dolphins for Jaylen model Colts fans just have no realistic expectation can't get what you're asking for.