The Principle of Intimacy

Welcome to Worship in the Word with Pastor Robert Morris. Today, Pastor Robert is continuing his series titled Relationship, where he shares how each of the Ten Commandments has a principle behind it that leads us into a deeper relationship with God. God and other people. Thanks so much for joining us today.

I'm your host, Patrick, and I'm here with my co-host, Janae. Hello, everybody. Well, today's message focuses on the seventh commandment, which says you shouldn't commit adultery. For some people, this isn't an easy thing to talk about, but this is so important.

You know, absolutely. And this message isn't just for married people. There are truths in this message that all of us can learn from.

Definitely. So let's tune in to Pastor Robert as he explains three ways people commit adultery and what often leads people to do that. We're in a series called Relationship through God's Top Ten. And so we're on the seventh commandment, and I'm calling it the Principle of Intimacy. I believe this tells us how to have intimacy with God and with each other and especially in marriage because of what it refers to. So we're on the seventh commandment and it's Exodus chapter 20, verse 14. You shall not commit adultery.

Five simple words. You shall not commit adultery. I want to share with you three ways that people commit adultery.

Not just one, but three ways. And if you remember, we're three parts, body, soul and spirit. So that's actually going to be my three points is we're going to talk about your body, your soul and your spirit. And many people don't realize that it can affect your spirit. But I'm going to show you in scripture how it can.

All right. So number one is the body. You can commit adultery in your body. This seems self-explanatory, but I'm going to show it to you in scripture.

First Corinthians chapter six, verse 18. Flee sexual immorality. Flee.

Run from it. Every, notice the word every, every sin that a man does is outside the body. But he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body, didn't say soul or spirit here. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God. And you are not your own.

For you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit. Doesn't say the Holy Spirit in your spirit.

So again, I'm going to say how this affects your spirit as well, because it's talking about sexual immorality. Which are God's. So first of all, did God create sex?

He did. We didn't mutate from some gob of gloop somewhere. We are goop of glob. I don't know how you say it, but we didn't mutate from something God cradles. So I'm going to surprise you a little bit.

God actually formed your sexual parts. You better be careful about the amens today. I just might throw me off a little bit. Amen.

Okay. I knew this was going to be a tough message. So God formed your sexual parts and God, listen, God formed you to have pleasure. That was his idea. But did it go awry on him? In other words, did the sexual urges become a little more than what he thought they would?

Did he do too good of a job? You know, was this not in the plan? Or did he actually form? Listen, God formed male and female to fit together. He designed that.

That didn't just happen. God formed male and female to fit perfectly. And he formed it for you to enjoy yourself and have pleasure and intimacy. But we don't think of it in the good way.

We only think of it in the bad way. I remember attending a pastors conference one time. This pastor, he preached a message on this to other pastors. And what he was trying to do was say, enjoy your sex life with your spouse so that you're not tempted to go do something else.

It was a great message for pastors because there's almost a feeling in the church that you have to be a prude if you're going to serve God. And yet I'm trying to tell you that God actually created you to have fun in marriage. So you can also commit adultery as number two in your soul.

In your soul. Proverbs 6 32 says, whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding. He who does so, watch, destroys his own soul. Destroys his soul. Now this word destroy, I'm putting the definition up so you can see it from the Hebrew. It means corrupts. He corrupts his soul. He ruins it, spoils it, injures it, wastes, batters and rots. The soul begins to rot.

It's ruined. Now, I understand God can redeem. But if any of you had a mistake in this area, you understand how much you spoiled your life in this area.

I understand that. The soul is made up of the mind, will and emotions. Mind, will, emotions. How you think about things, how you feel about things and then the decisions you make.

Now listen to me carefully. You can commit adultery in your mind and you can commit adultery in your emotions. You can have a wrong relationship in your mind with someone and you can have a wrong relationship in your emotions with someone. And Jesus backs this up and it's all through scripture that adultery, any thought or feeling toward another person that is inappropriate outside of marriage is wrong. You can do this as you're married. You can do this before you're married. Song of Solomon 3 verse 5, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.

Until it's time that God, it's pleasurable to God and it will be pleasurable to you in marriage. Let me show you a word that maybe you never thought of. I love words and I love to look at the root. And I can see the root of most words just by looking at them. But let me show you this and you might get ahead of me on this, but the word fantastic. Fantastic is appearing as if conceived by an unrestrained imagination. I want you to notice the word unrestrained. And maybe you didn't realize this, but here's the root of this word.

Ready? Fantasy. Imagination, especially when extravagant and unrestrained.

See that the unrestrained part is what I'm concerned about. And I'm going to tell you something that might even shock you. God actually designed you to live a fantasy with a person, your spouse.

For you to say what we have, it's like a fantasy. It's fantastic. This is why I'm saying this is the principle of intimacy. I'll keep taking you back to this. You can't imagine the intimacy that you can experience with one person when you keep the Lord in that relationship.

It's phenomenal. You're listening to Worship in the Word with Pastor Robert Morris. If you'd like to listen to this message again, or if you've missed the start of this relationship series, be sure to check out our podcast at pastorrobert.com or call 833-933-WORD to get a copy. You know, today we're talking about the seventh commandment, which is you shall not commit adultery. And so far, Pastor Robert has talked about how God created sex, and he isn't surprised by our urges or desires. Yes, and this message is such a great reminder that adultery isn't just the physical act of sex. It's about remaining pure in our minds as well.

And that's the first battleground against the enemy. You know, I'm really glad that you said that because Pastor Robert is going to explain more about that here in just a minute. So let's get back to the message. So affairs start in the soul before they ever get to the body. Let me show you what precedes lust. See, lust precedes adultery. Let me show you what precedes lust. Look, you've heard it was said of old, you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks, whoever looks at a woman to lust has already committed adultery. So lust precedes adultery.

But let me tell you, this is such a simple thing. Looking precedes lust. You cannot imagine how many times I'm driving down the street and there's an athletic woman jogging, and I'm not going to look. Because I know what that leads to. I'm just going to look the other way.

I've had to train myself to do this. Potiphar's wife, the Bible says, cast longing eyes on Joseph. She looked before she lusted.

David saw Bathsheba from his balcony. He looked, and that stirred up lust, which caused adultery. Job 31.1, I've made a covenant with my eyes, and I've literally said and done this.

I've done this personally. I've made a covenant with my eyes. Why then should I look upon a young woman? You have to make a covenant.

When I was a young man and God began dealing with me about this, I heard Pastor Olin share something like this that he did. And so I said to Debbie, I said, I need to talk to you about something. So she said, okay. I said, I have a problem looking. You know what she said? You think?

You might think you're being slicer, but it's noticeable. So I said, well, I don't want to do it. So I said, if you see me looking, I said, I want you to confront me and pray for me. Confront me and pray for me. Now, here's the problem.

I didn't define how to confront me. So a few months later, we were on vacation and we were seated at the pool, which is like being seated at a bar for an alcoholic. You know, it's just, you know, a bakery shop.

It's just, you know, a pool is not a good place if you've ever had a problem in this area. So, you know, we're reading magazines. I'm looking over the top of the magazine. And this girl walks by and I made a mistake. I mean, you know, we got sunglasses on. You move your eyes. Don't move your head.

Then they know. Okay. So I followed her like this. All of a sudden, I felt this excruciating pain. Debbie reached over and started pinching me. This, by the way, is the 11th commandment. Thou shalt not pinch thy husband on the back of his arm. She started pinching right here.

And she said, do I need to pray for you? So adultery can happen in the body. But it can also happen in the soul. But I'm concerned because here's point number three, the spirit.

Something happens in the spirit. That most of you do not realize with adultery. Most of you.

Most. Genesis 2 24, when marriage began, says, therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. And they shall become one flesh.

Now, I want you to notice a couple of things very important here. Flesh. So one body. They shall be joined.

I'm telling you again, God created the male and female parts to fit together. They'll be joined together. They become one flesh. It doesn't say one spirit here. It says one flesh. They'll come together. They become one. And a man will leave his father and mother and be joined his wife. Do any of you remember the old King James word for joined here? A man will leave and cleave. Right. Used to be in the marriage vows. Do you commit to cleave only to this woman?

No. Till death do you part. Cleave. OK. Leave and cleave.

OK. So there's a leaving and a cleaving. So this scripture is repeated in the New Testament four times. Jesus says it and Paul says it. Three times it refers to marriage. But one time it's in First Corinthians six, where I told you to turn it. I won't show it to you.

Watch this. First Corinthians six, verse 15. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Your bodies are members of Christ.

I wish you could think think about that all week about how you treat your body. Your bodies are members of Christ. Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot?

Certainly not. Or an immoral person. Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For the two, he says, shall become one flesh.

OK. So this scripture that's about marriage, that a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife says, but if that same man then joins himself to another woman, he now becomes one with her. There's a leaving and a cleaving. There's a oneness that happens.

Now we're talking about in the body and in the soul, in the mind or the emotions, because you can leave emotionally, too. But I'm telling you, something happens in the spirit. OK, we stopped at verse 16. Look at verse 17. But he who is joined, same word, to the Lord is one spirit with him. Remember we read the first down in verse 19 says, glorify God in your body and in your spirit. You have a spirit. And when you join yourself with the Lord, you become one spirit with him. OK, but you committed adultery. Listen, in order to become joined to someone else. You have to leave someone. You really think that you can take the members of your body, the members of Christ, and join those with the members of a harlot?

You really think you can do it? You think everything's OK in your relationship with God? When you're committing adultery in your body or your soul? You have to leave the Lord. Now, I'm not saying you lose your salvation. Your salvation is based on grace.

And thank God it is. But you lose your intimacy with God. Don't ever try to convince yourself that you're in a vital, ongoing, passionate, intimate relationship with Jesus when you're having an affair on him.

Don't ever think you can convince yourself of that. But here's what you need to know. You leave him in the spirit. There's a leaving.

There's also a cleaving. And you know what you join yourself to? A demonic spirit. You know, Patrick, when Pastor Robert was talking about how looking precedes lust, I thought about how a lot of computer programs and TV apps now include parental control features. And it just made me wonder, how often do adults take control of our own wondering gaze? How often do we filter what we view on social media, our phones or our TVs? It's about cultivating a strong and self-controlled mind.

You know, those are really good questions. I think we can get kind of in a mentality and become spiritually lazy with what we watch, honestly. The enemy is always ready to pounce, to take us by the hand from one sin to the next. And this is just a great reminder that we need to shore up on our mental defenses and ask for help. It's so important because, as Pastor Robert said, when we commit adultery, something happens in our spirit, and we are separated from the Lord. Well, let's continue on with Pastor Robert.

He has a thought-provoking story to tell us as he wraps things up. I was speaking to a youth group one time, and one of the young ladies said, this is a young lady, and we were talking, so we were talking very honestly in the opening. She said, I'm a little embarrassed to ask this question, but I don't know why.

I don't understand. She said, if we're two Christians and we're going to get married anyway, we love the Lord and we're trying to finish our degrees first before we get married. Our parents have told us, by the way. By the way, we never told our children that because we thought entering marriage pure was much better than entering marriage with a degree, personally. And we told our kids, because most people say we won't pay for it. We've told our kids and the ones that married into our family, we'll pay for your education. We'll keep paying for it because we know there's a strong desire. And if you think you can go two or three years and not fulfill that strong desire, I doubt it.

You're a lot stronger than I am, I guarantee you. So we told them, you get married and then we'll take care of the schooling. So in order, though, to have, she asked this question, if we really love each other and we're going to get married anyway, what difference does a piece of paper make? I said, none.

None, zero. The piece of paper makes no difference. That's not what makes the difference. It's the blessing of God. It's the principle of God's Word. So I said, but let me explain to you why. And I said to her, I said, I want to explain, this is your boyfriend sitting beside you, right? You love each other.

You're asking a really honest question, I'm glad. But I want to tell you how you will ruin your message if you give him what he wants right now. And he wants it.

I just know. But I'm going to tell you, young lady, how you will destroy your marriage if you give it to him before marriage. In order to have premarital sex, you have to sneak around to do it. You don't just say, this is what I told this youth group. You don't say your parents say, where are y'all going tonight?

Going to have sex? Great. Have a good time. You have to lie. We went to Susie's house.

We went bowling. You have to lie. You have to be deceptive. You start developing a habit and lots of habits that you shouldn't develop and God never intended you to develop. And you have to sneak around to do it. So you actually develop an appetite that God never intended you to develop. Listen to the appetite you develop. You develop an appetite for sneaking around sex.

And he never intended you to develop that. So you develop an appetite for sneaking around sex. But then you get married.

And guess what happens? You don't have to sneak around anymore. Until you have kids. But you don't have to sneak around anymore.

You don't have to sneak around. This is why, and I said to this young lady, this is why if you develop this appetite in him, once you get married, you'll never be able to satisfy it. This is why he'll start talking to an administrative assistant or a coworker at the office. And this is why you might actually start developing some emotional feelings towards someone because he listens to you. But let's just take it with the man. He'll begin talking with someone and flirting. And you know what he's doing? He's sneaking around.

He's not even doing anything in the physical yet, but maybe some text or maybe an internet chat room or something. And he'll start flirting around. He'll start feeling that appetite, satisfying this appetite that you young lady created in him that God said don't do this. And he had a reason. And so pretty soon he'll begin to think that he loves her and not you because he feels the same way now when he's with her as he used to feel when he was with you before you got married. Now listen how unbelievably foolish Satan is to get us to believe this because here's what happened. Then he'll divorce you and marry her. And guess what happens?

He doesn't have to sneak around anymore. So he doesn't feel now the same way with her that he used to feel before. This is literally why some people say we'd rather just live together than get married because when you get married, it ruins it. Because they know deep down in their hearts, even if they don't know the Bible, that they're doing something wrong. This is why some people have been married three and four and five and six times because they created an appetite that cannot be satisfied.

It can't be satisfied. So what do you do? What do you do if you had premarital sex or you have had sex after you got married with someone else? You repent. You confess and repent. You bring it out of the light. You say, why confess it?

Because Satan works in the darkness. And every time I preach a message like this, we have many confessions. You say, does that bother you, pastor? No, because I know, I can just tell you, let me tell you who falls in this area, humans. And I pastor humans. So it doesn't bother me that we have many confessions because it actually excites me we can finally get it out of the darkness into the light. So we may have some confessions this week. We'll help you.

We'll help you. But to the offended party, please let me say something. It may be very tough to hear it. But you're on the first step to God doing something very, very wonderful in your life.

Very wonderful. Please, please understand, if you violate this commandment, you will not have an intimate relationship with your spouse that God intended. And you will not be able to have an intimate relationship with the Lord.

Wow, that's weighty. But I'm just so glad that Pastor Robert explained the why behind God's warning against sex outside of marriage. You know, your mind instantly changes when thinking about how going against this commandment risks God's blessing on your life.

Right. And today's message carries a severe warning to remain pure in all walks of life, whether you're single or you're married. But God doesn't warn us because he doesn't want us to have fun.

Rather, he warns us for our own good so we can live in his blessing and his favor. We encourage you to take a moment to think about what Pastor Robert shared today and really listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying to you. To get a copy of this message or any of the upcoming messages in this relationship series, visit pastorrobert.com or call 833-933-WORD. You can get the complete 10-part series, so be sure to visit pastorrobert.com or call 833-933-WORD. You can also follow Pastor Robert on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Next time Pastor Robert will be sharing about how the eighth commandment is God's principle of trust and how that applies to our lives. Thanks for listening and have a great day.