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August 9, 2020 2:00 am
In this episode, Susie is joined by Major Cristina Murphy. In chapter 5 of Barefoot Cinderellas, Susie discusses the pain of infertility and the grief from a miscarriage. Cristina shares her own testimony and leaves us with the most comforting piece of advice; Don’t let go of hope.
Series: Barefoot Cinderellas
I needed welcome to the Salvation Army's words of life. Welcome back to the Salvation Army's words of life and welcome back to you Cheryl think it's good to be here. Bernie I have enjoyed being in the studio with you, talking specifically about Maj. Susie Erickson's book, barefoot, Cinderella's yes it has been inspirational and powerful and so relevant to so many of our listeners and were so grateful for Susie to share her stories and others to join her. Along the way. Absolutely as we continue our series, barefoot, Cinderella is today. Susie is joined by Salvation Army officer Christina Murphy Sheehan as he talked about the pain of infertility, miscarriage, and the incredible journey of adoption.
This is a powerful story.
So to get right to it.
Good morning. I'm at Maj. Susie Erickson with the Salvation Army and today in the studio.
I have major Christina Murphy, who is a good friend of mine we are both women who did not come into motherhood the traditional our easy way, is that right Christina, that's right. And I share my story about the loss of our son baby Neil and I read chapter 5 Prince charming of barefoot Cinderella's but Christina, you have your own silent heart aches that you had carried into motherhood as well. Could you share some of your story with us today. Yes I would love to we get married in so long ago in 1999 and that after five years of marriage. We decide to start a family. After a few months of that, we do realize that I was having trouble getting pregnant so you know normal things. I went to the doctor and get checked and started my first fertility treatment. It was a span of seven years of trying with three different doctors five fertility treatments into the fan CDs and that came to a point that after the fifth fertility treatment even work we have to sit back and look at our life and and just to decide what within it the next right at the very beginning when my husband and I you know talk about planning a family and when we start facing the struggles he was very open about adoption in the very beginning, but I was not.
I wanted the experience of the premises that the dependency that crosses I wanted the experience of giving birth. Having that baby these in my baby and he came to a point that we had to decide or for me especially to be content with whatever the Lord has for our life. If he was, not children at all whatever I had to because it was always good to be. I know the treatment right you know there was also to be something else and do we continue to have enemies been seven years that we continue and how much can we invest exactly A&R and we just decided that was done we say we just can't stop and if this is where the war has for us.
We have a happy marriage. We have a very blessed ministry and build a big change to happen right then was that we move again. We we move from long Oklahoma to Tampa, Florida to be that he wises euphoria, and that was a big change in our life so we can decide what lists this be content with this list be content with knobby children at this time.
Be honest with God in your prayers, and she really knows how you feeling he really knows the way deep inside your heart what you knew my what you're thinking when you feeling your heart even you know that even the anger you feel. Sometimes he knows all of that thought just being honest and I told God okay if you wanted to adopt. I need a site and my husband and I have not talk about adoption for over you know three or four years. So I told the Lord I say you really want me to adopt this is what you want me to do. I want my husband to bring it up once more one more time if he does that. I will say yes and we will do it and how long did it take before he brought it up. I know, so that was in the fall of 2009 a I remember it was like January and we were driving and my husband said you know I been thinking about this with the earthquake. The happening in Haiti. They're going to be a lot of children up for adoption.
There you go down like I started bowling I started crying in the car and I had to explain my eye so I told him what had happened and how I have prayed about exactly these words and and that mentally I'm ready and ready to started the adoption process your journey didn't end there.
Did it know is that a new journey actually off two more years. I did some research and I found a small Christian adoption agency in Ormond Beach, Florida, contacted them and we started the process and this is a tedious process of the beacon is a lot of paperwork a lot of interviews a lot of meetings and we we when we open minds, open hearts to whatever the Lord gave us you know we didn't have actual choice of kids we just whatever the Lord gives. We were very open until we started the process and we get a phone call that they had a baby for us, but our paper was not finalized, it all while in the baby was doing in September we had a month so everything in your hearts telling you we are coming to the end of this journey is pieces that one has been, or how to answer every prayer.
Everything has worked out perfectly so I was able to be in the delivery room for 13 hours I saw the baby born I get to feed him the first time we named him in the the next morning we went to the hotel. The next morning we were going to pick him up and bringing home right and as we were getting dressed in the hotel that morning.
We got a phone call and that the phone call said the mom change her mind and now lives in your heart broke all over again.
He was nothing that I was expecting even thought about the day was mentioning the process in the orientation process, but you never think it's can happen to you while after that, you know, we had two more opportunities to adopt and the same thing happen after the baby was born to call us that the mother change her mind as well in the state of Florida.
After the mother gave birth by law she has 48 hours to make the final decision.
So those 48 hours felt like eternity every time. Yes, this was in a span of you know, nine months old decent roller coaster by day and he's been almost a year. As you know we started the paperwork this March 5, 2011 and all her paperwork aspire. So we had to start all over again on the so we it is just those something you that is so easy to quit in those moments, but I always came back out of hope that never left me that this will happen someday. So we started the process all over again in March 2011 and around the same time.
August we get another phone call that there was some of the baby and the mother has chosen us something interesting happened. We were not in the pool for adoption because with our paperwork had has expire. But these months our picture. They say I want these family but they told they are no ready but he sat when his family. Oh wow so so so they cause intolerance and we cannot process the paperwork will be quick learner and they tell is the baby was due in October but we got a big surprise. They became a month earlier that day before we were supposed to meet the mom. The baby was born and he was a preemie right. He was a preemie so we packed everything in and went to the hospital that there about 7 PM and met the mom is always a difficult time. You know, because he you're about to take her baby is never easy is never easy. I see that I see that love in their eyes and the pain of having to let go and you don't and you don't always know their story of what how this child came to me and you don't know what her life journey has been. But here you are. Grace has brought you to this intersection of her life and and you're about to she's about 10 trust you honestly with the greatest gift that God's given to her.
I remember I was a camp when I got the phone call and NUS to the caseworker and you can always tell she was going to give you bad news is good news because of the tall tone of her voice say she say congratulation Mrs. Murphy, the mom sign the papers in your heart rejoice, I literally collapse I get on the floor of my knees and I started thanking the Lord and crying in and had to run until my husband finally Modelo him and and I we went back to the hospital and held our son and arms while you have quite a journey that you've been on as a mom and we know that our journeys never in his mom but what would you say to that husband and wife out there who are where you and John were and are desperately wanting a child and you are going through that roller coaster every month. What would you say to them, surround yourself with people that I will at times carry you through this process you know people that was for you to pray with you that you can come and just cried. You need to talk to people that have been going through the same experience because you know they can give you good advice. Like I said before in your prayers. Just be honest we got in on it and tell him you know what you want and and but I think or mean the main. The main thing I learned to this whole process was hope. The only goal. Hope in the closing of chapter 5 I write these words.
Remember, life is a paradox. God is doing the refining work for the plans he has for you in the fire, you are going through right now it's easy to lose heart and a hopeless situation, but don't let the enemy order you to stop dreaming. Pursue your hopes and dreams. Knowing God can do infinitely more than you would ever dare to ask or hope. Thank you Christina for joining me today and for sharing your story.
It's a story that inspires in us a story that gives hope particularly for those who feel like they're in a hopeless situation in their life right now. The Salvation Army's mission doing the most good means helping people with material and spiritual needs to become a part of this mission every time you give to the Salvation Army visit Salvation Army USA.org to offer your support and love to hear from you.
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