What happens when faith and mental health meet for real? I'm Grace Graber. Welcome to Breaking Through with Grace Graber, a podcast for honest conversations about anxiety, trauma, healing, hope, and the God who never backs away when life gets heavy. We are going to talk about everything mental health. No pretending, no perfect answers, just real stories, real faith, and a reminder that you're not alone.
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These are the words, these are the words, these are the words of life. These are the words, these are the words, these are the words of life. Hey, and welcome back to Words of Life. You know, as a parent myself, I've really been enjoying this Back to School series. As we know, sending our kids back to school comes with a lot more than just new backpacks and school supplies.
There's friendship drama, test anxieties. big emotions, and sometimes even questions about faith. In this episode, we're talking about what happens when our kids start asking those harder questions. Especially when they begin to wrestle with what they believe.
So if you're a parent navigating those conversations, take a deep breath. You don't have to have every answer. God can handle their doubts, and know that you're not alone. This episode begins sort of mid-conversation. We were having a great discussion on this topic offline, and so we just hit record.
It'll make sense, I promise, and we hope you enjoy. As always, check out the show notes. We'll have links to plenty of resources related to what we've discussed in this episode. That's that's a huge thing, and so um. You know, I go into that really encouraging my kids to, hey, let's pray about that.
I actually don't have the answer to that, and it's okay that I don't, but Let's really seek the Lord in this to encourage you and to give us wisdom on what to do together. And really, in every facet, even. If you feel like it's a small thing, right? Like, yeah, taking a test or. Having a conversation with this friend, like, oh my gosh, the sleepover, and like, so-and-so thinks this, and so-and-so thinks that, and I wanna be, you know, they feel stuck in the middle.
It's like, Wow, like that is a really hard position to be in. I wonder, like, let's kind of pray about that because I know that that is a place where you're feeling anxious.
So good. I think it's so easy. just hear You know, you're your teen or your young kid talking about their big drama. And as an adult, you're like, oh my God, it's like if I wish that was my worst problem in the week. But one of my favorite artists, Jeff Tweedy, he had a memoir that came out recently and he had gone through rehab and stuff.
And in there, they kind of go around like, you know, any rehab thing and sort of just talk about trauma. And he said, you know, he didn't have this. Horrific background. And so he felt like he wasn't even allowed to share what his background was. And this guy who became a good friend of his.
Just told him that everyone suffers the same. Mm-hmm. The comparison trap can kind of go the other way, where, like, you don't think you're allowed to have a bad day because they're suffering in Africa. Right. You could still have a bad day, even though you do have a job and a roof over your head.
Your feelings are valid. Yeah. And I think if you just dismiss that, I think that's really unhealthy. And then they don't really learn how to cope when they have bigger and bigger problems. Yeah.
And the second part to what I was going to say is that when you kind of are open and saying, gosh, I don't know what to do about that. Like that's you're actually modeling your own faith in your kids' lives. And so. What happens is that eventually They'll develop the habit of like, okay, well, I need to go to God in prayer for this, right? And they will hold.
Hopefully, you know, you're nurturing that habit of like, okay, let's go to the Lord in prayer. I don't know what to do. Like, I'm feeling like you're modeling your own faith in that process. Yeah, and encourage questions. Encourage them to ask questions, all questions, you know, not just biblical questions or whatever, but you know, on the car ride home, that was from church, it was um.
always the time when the kids would ask the most thought-provoking things about Whatever. But it always led back to: okay, well, what does the Bible say about that? You know, and now our kids are asking questions that. Yeah. are faith based because they know that they believe this because That's the way they were taught at church, or that's maybe that's because they believe that.
But people at school, you know, are saying something else. The other influences are coming and getting in there. And it's like, well, what does the Bible say about it? That's where we go for our truth. And modeling that for them is starting there, you know, starting with.
That foundation, that base is, I think, the most important thing: is what does God say? Mm-hmm. Hey, you're listening to the Salvation Army's Words of Life. We're going to take a quick ad break, and we'll be right back. It is God who directs our paths.
I'm Christy Graham, host of the show On the Ground with Samaritan's Purse. And I recently talked with Franklin Graham, my father-in-law and president of Samaritan's Purse, about how he stays grounded. Proverbs 3:5 and 6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, but all your ways. Acknowledge him, and he'll direct your paths. To hear this encouraging conversation, listen to this episode of On the Ground with Samaritan's Purse, wherever you get your podcasts.
Again, that's On the Ground with Samaritan's Purse.
Something that I wrote in here that I wanted us to touch on, too, though. What happens when you have a kid who's like, Well, I don't believe in any of that now? Um Where do you go from that when your kid's like, Well, I don't want to go to church anymore and I don't believe in this anymore? How do you handle that as a parent? I think don't panic.
Which is always easier said than it is done. It's nothing you did wrong. Like I feel like that's important for parents to hear too. Don't take it personally and remember that. You've probably at one point in your life struggled with doubt in some form, in some way, you know, or even just had those fleeting thoughts of, you know, like, well, what if we got it wrong?
What if it's not really that or whatever? I think we've all been there at some point. Then we also have to remember that God's not scared of that. Like, he wants us to be. To question things, and like there has to be a point in your kid's life.
You can lead them there, right? Like you've done all the things, you've laid the foundation for them, but you can't save them. Only God can save them.
So their faith has to become their faith at some point. You have to step back and say, Okay, God, I feel like I hope I've done enough. I've done what you've asked me to do.
Now, just, you know, like. get in there, get in there and just like make it real for them. And so at some point, they have to make that decision for themselves. And unfortunately, you know, with all of the distractions and all the other things going on in their lives, They might. say those things like I don't believe that, you know, but I think that.
Yeah. You just have to w Don't give up, don't give up praying for them. Pray like crazy, I think, is it the main thing, and don't. Discipline that. That is not a disciplinary thing.
You know, church shouldn't be a disciplinary thing, or beliefs shouldn't be. You know, well, you're going to believe this because this is what we do. I think that talking it, like, why do you feel that way? You know, asking those questions, asking the why, getting back to what is the why of. You know, that where did you, where are you hearing this from?
Or, you know, who, who are you talking to? Like, who is influencing you? Like, let's, let's start there, you know? But yeah, I think you just stay involved. Don't be like, well, now I'm hands off and now I can't do any more for my kid.
I think that sometimes that's a cry for help. in a way. You know, like maybe your kids are actually You know, I don't believe this. Show me what you believe, mom. You know.
Like, what do you really think about this?
So, I think it's important just to keep the conversation going. And you know, for our kids too, sometimes the church we went to was a struggle.
Sometimes the church we went to was a struggle because there wasn't anybody that they related to or whatever. And we just kept telling the kids, okay, just go with an open mind. You know, you may hear something that maybe you have questions about. Ask questions. Ask us about it.
Let's do this together and just agree to come alongside. and um walk walk them through but um Pray like crazy. Pray like crazy. I think doubt and questions get a bad rap a lot of times. Like we think if a kid questions or if a kid asks, how did that happen?
How did God create the world in seven days? That that automatically means that they don't believe anymore. And I think, I mean, we see the example in the Bible, right? Like Thomas gets a bad rap because he wanted to ask questions. He wanted to know.
He wanted to touch and feel and see. But I think as long as kids are asking those questions, that's a beautiful place to be because they're not just accepting it at face value. They want to know why. They want to know how.
So we always say that like quiet doubt is dangerous, but doubt that asks the questions, like that's. That's a beautiful place to be with kids. It's terrifying for adults because I don't have the answers all of the time. I can't answer those questions. But, you know, you get that, it's kind of a cliche sometimes, I think, to say, I don't know, but let's figure it out together.
But I think that's true. Like, I don't have the answers for you. What a beautiful fact that you're asking the question. Right. And what a beautiful way it is to evangelize to your kids.
Yeah. and disciple them. Yeah. Because You can't do that without the questions. Yeah.
without the tension, without the the struggle. We pray that you're enjoying and being blessed by this conversation. We're going to take one more ad break and we'll be right back. It is God who directs our paths. I'm Christy Graham, host of the show On the Ground with Samaritans Purse.
And I recently talked with Franklin Graham, my father-in-law and president of Samaritans Purse. We talked about how he stays grounded as we respond to man-made and natural disasters that seem to grow increasingly more frequent and more intense over the years. If we lose sight of our purpose, you get discouraged. And what I mean by our purpose, we're there to help people, but to do in Jesus' name. We want people to know.
About God's Son Jesus Christ.
So that's our focus. And if one person gets saved, if we're able to help one family, if we can help one group of people, then it's worth it. To hear this encouraging conversation, listen to this episode of On the Ground with Samaritan's Purse, wherever you get your podcasts. Again, that's on the ground with Samaritan's purse. I think too, like.
that adolescence, especially like getting into your teen years. If you've raised them in a Christian household as a kid, it's really easy to say. God is love and Jesus loves me because your biggest trauma you've been through is maybe just like you didn't want to go to bed. Not for all of us.
Some of us have been through more younger, but like, you know, you haven't. seen the world a lot. And as you're getting to see the world, you're having heartbreak, you're having disappointments and stuff. you're kind of questioning everything, and I I think that's healthy. I think you should be questioning it.
You shouldn't take blind faith. That's not what that is. That's not faith. Right. Right.
I think the danger of that is that they're gonna grow up and when they have a bad thing happen, what do they fall back on? Like it's dead, it's nothing, it's useless to them. But I think if you show them Jesus and you answer those questions and you, you know, that gives them someone to fall back on when when hard times come. It's a faith that lasts. And a lot of times too.
It's important that you realize, too, that as a parent, you might not be the one. to lead them You know, like again, sometimes you have to step back and let the other people in their lives, like our youth leaders. Thank you, Mel. Yeah. who have maybe a different thing to say.
You know, like it's not happening u under my roof in my household. It's not my parent telling me I have to believe in Jesus. You know, it's someone I I respect in a different way that um is it maybe it's a peer or maybe it's someone, you know, a a positive influence.
So Pray for those people too, because they've got a huge job as well. But I'm just, again, like I said before, I'm so grateful for that community at our church that. pours into our kids and has that other Other influence that may be. Maybe it'll make sense because it's coming from them. It's just the Charlie Brown teacher when I'm saying it, you know, or whatever.
So, yeah.
Well one thing I heard you say though in that process was Just let's just keep going. Let's just keep going, keeping up in mind. And so sometimes our kids are gonna resist, right? Our when our girls first started getting involved in the teens. they were very apprehensive about going, didn't want to go, kind of tried to get out of it multiple times and We just had to kind of hold their feet to the fire at first to say, We're just going to go.
We're going to go and we're going to see what God does and we're going to trust in it. Might not always be fun, and it might not be maybe some really awkward moments. I recall actually dealing with a panic attack with my at the time, 13-year-old, because we were. We're used to smaller churches and we went to a mega church. And the youth group was just all out and she was like, Uh-uh.
And she was like, I'm not going in. And you know what? Like, we wrote it out. And I said, All right, we showed up to the parking lot today. Yes.
Let's come back and try another time. And we kept showing up. And then, you know, we prayed and we prayed and we just kept. Providing the opportunity. And then we prayed for God to bring in a friend, that one friend, that connector.
And Yeah. Yeah, and so now it's like they just got back from a week-long overnight camp and Yeah. Absolutely loved it, and it's such a Formative thing for them now.
So, but if it's hard as parents when your kid is a lot of resistance there sometimes. You know, to continue just providing the opportunity for them to engage and over time. It does happen. Uh The Salvation Army's mission, doing the most good, means helping people with material and spiritual needs. You become a part of this mission every time you give to the Salvation Army.
Visit SalvationArmyUSA.org to offer your support. You can subscribe to Words of Life on your favorite podcast store or visit SalvationArmysoundcast.org. Join us next time for the Salvation Army's Words of Life. Yeah. These are the words, these are the words of life.
These are the words, these are the words, these are the words of life. Thanks so much for listening to Words of Life. We want to thank the team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on the show. Visit lifeeaudio.com where you'll find dozens of other faith-centered podcasts in their network. They have shows about prayer, Bible studying, parenting, and more.
Thanks again for listening, we'll see you next time. Finding uplifting news in today's headlines is often like searching for a needle in a haystack. At the Story Behind Podcast, we believe in the power of finding heartwarming tales and are happy to share empowering stories with you every week. Hear about how Steve Harvey surprised a dying man on Family Feud with $25,000. Get inspired by the note a waitress received from a patron dining alone.
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