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Text ABIDE to 94878. That's ABIDE to 94878. Life audio. Hi from the Salvation Army, and you're listening to Words of Life. Yeah.
Yeah. These are the words, these are the words of life. These are the words, these are the words, these are the words of life. Hey, welcome back to Words of Life. This is our second week in our Back to School series with our panel of parents and teachers.
And today, we continued the conversation by asking if academic success is something beyond just good grades. Again, check out the show notes for links to resources mentioned throughout this series and follow us on social media. You can find us at Words of Life Podcast. Beyond just academic success being straight A's. What does success look like to you guys?
I think every kid is different, you know, as far as how they approach academics. And my kids couldn't be more different. One of them struggled every single day to get. Any kind of a passing grade, and then the other came more naturally for. They both worked equally hard at every grade they got.
But I think the first thing. As parents, we have to set them up for success. And so they have to care about their own. Academic. They have to care about it.
And so we have to help them understand why, the why of everything, why it's important to pass. And then place a certain amount of responsibility on them, obviously age appropriate, to do at least their very best to get those grades. And just remind them that they can do this. And I think it's really important too that we remind them that they're not alone. Like they might be struggling in certain things.
They might think they're the only one, you know, or maybe they're the only one in their family who can't do math, you know, or the new math. Lord, help us with the new math.
So I didn't learn the new math. I had to learn the new math. But I think they're not the only one who's struggling here. And I think if they remember that, that they're not alone, but setting clear expectations, you know, like we want our kids to go through the struggle, to do the things, right? Because they're going to come out better on the other side of that if they go through the struggle.
But they also need to take initiative to ask for help. My son, who's an introvert, that was really hard for him to admit when he was struggling and when he needed help with something.
So I think too, as parents, like we also just need to stay involved and recognize when you need to step in. And get the help.
So sometimes a win is a C, it's not an A, you know? Or just that they completed their project on time and turned it in, you know, like that's a big thing, that's a big deal. But I think academic success for a kid is just growing in knowledge and responsibility and working with the gifts that God has given them. And each kid is unique. And so it's going to look different for everyone.
I want to jump in just before I forget my train of thought, because I agree with everything you just said, Heather. And I think the sense of belonging, right? And how important that is and how that impacts success, right? Because what does that do? Like a sense of belonging speaks to the sense of self, speaks to, one, just, hey, am I okay?
Is my nervous system okay in this space? Is my emotional being okay in this place? Once those needs are tended to, then. That's when you can kind of work through those sort of questions and you can engage. in the classroom you can take on those things right i have lots of clients, they bring their kids to me and say, Wow, they did great.
Like in second grade, they they really loved it. And then they started third grade and then all these things started to happen. And when we would kind of get to the bottom of it, I I'd ask, well, how's that relationship with their teacher? How is their relationship with the other students?
Well, there is a little bit of bullying, or they're really scared of their teacher because their teacher in second grade was really like, Warm and welcome, and this one has a bit more of a different style. And so, those are questions that really speak to that. Oh. They probably just don't feel as safe. And so when that part of your emotional brain is shut down, it's really hard to then perform academically.
So I'm really glad that you kind of touched on that. Hey, you're listening to the Salvation Army's Words of Life. We're going to take a quick ad break, and we'll be right back. Do you ever want to spend more time in God's Word, but the day just gets away from you? Bible League International created a free guide called Nine Tips to Get More of God's Word in Your Life.
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I really have to emphasize with my students that Your grade in the classroom isn't really what high school or any level of school is about. It is about who you're connected to. And that's your classmates and that's your teachers. Because I don't remember what I got on my high school grades. But I do remember my high school friends.
I remember my middle school friends. I remember middle school teachers and things that they said to me and the impact that they had.
So I think that if we want our kids to be academically successful, Dinas has said it well. We have to help them understand that emotionally they need to be engaged. which is going back to one of the things that I mentioned in the first episode was that There's a lack of engagement in our classrooms right now. And some of that is because they are overstimulated in so many different ways through social media technology. And so I think that if we really want them to be academically successful, we need to.
Help them know as humans that You need to connect with your teacher. You need to connect with the people sitting next to you. And I see this on both ends of the spectrum. I have students who are. very academically checked out.
Don't don't care whatsoever. And then I have students who are very academically uh motivated and are going to try and get every single Point that they can possibly get, but neither of them are actually engaged with the people around them. It's a battle I fight every day to say, what did your teammates say? My students sit in groups every single day of the year, pretty much. And so I said, What did your teammates say?
What are you learning from them? And they're like, well, I don't care, it's what I wrote down. It's like, no, it's not just about what you wrote down, right? And so it really is a challenge in the classroom to create that. But if our students and our children are going into it with the mentality of, Okay, I'm safe to contribute here who I am.
My teacher values who I am. I'm actually curious about my teacher.
Some of us have high school students. But Get to know your teachers. I know that not all teachers are that personable, but they want to actually get to know you. I'm believe it or not, I'm not a math teacher for the math. The math I can do, I'm a math teacher because I enjoy knowing who my students are and students from lots of different backgrounds.
My first day of school, I always have this conversation with my students: hey. If you don't get to know the people in this room, then we're failing as as a class. You have to connect And that that gets back to belonging. You have to if you feel like you belong, Well, guess what? you're going to actually work harder.
you're going to actually be more successful. But it takes effort. Unfortunately, it is a bit countercultural. Which is what Heather was saying. I think that starts in the home.
I think those are things, the engagement, those discussions, like care about your teacher, those are things that as parents, we have to instill in our kids.
So I'm glad you were kind of on that journey with your family, Heather. Yeah. I think what's Pretty wild is More than any other generation coming up. And there's so many things that my daughter says: oh, it's not like it when you were a kid, everything's the same. As far as career trajectory goes.
As they enter the workforce in a lot of fields, they're not competing against other humans, they're competing against AI. And so grades are important. But Know my phone's actually really good at math, and that's not necessarily what someone's going to hire you for. And so, according to employer surveys conducted by the National Association of Colleges and Employers, NECE. The top qualities employers consistently value include communication, teamwork, problem solving, reliability and adaptability, often ahead of a GPA.
And so, like, if But those grades still have to open the door often. But what you're really, really learning while you're in school is conflict resolution, is how to like just be a good person. It's about getting them in the right order. Because a lot of times we say, okay, grades, but then Okay, you get those great dir grades and they open the door, but then you get into the workforce and like you've said, You don't know how to resolve conflict. You don't know how to talk to people.
So then, what was the point in the grades?
So, if you can connect first, if you can belong. The grades will follow, enough to open the door that needs to open for you.
So it's about putting them in the correct order. We pray that you're enjoying and being blessed by this conversation. We're going to take one more ad break and we'll be right back. You don't need more discipline. You just need more of Jesus.
If your mind won't slow down or you're feeling worn thin, Bible League International wants to send you ABIDE, a free 31-day prayer guide to help you draw close to God in as little as five minutes a day. Experience settled peace, lasting joy, and God's nearness. Get your free copy of ABIDE Today. Text ABIDE to 94878. That's ABIDE to 94878.
How can parents support homework without doing it for their kids? Like, it's hard, I feel like, to do that because, at least for me, because everything in me is just like, I could do this easier than you or faster than you, and we'll be done with it. And then you can go do whatever else you want to do for the night. But that, I mean, doesn't help them learn. And I don't think that really sets that good relationship between me and my kid either.
My kids' teachers actually have a word that they say for this over and over again. They call it productive struggle. Like, they want our kids to have a productive struggle, and that's hard to watch them not know how to do things and only kind of give them clues as they go. Like, did you think about it this way? Or what if you move the decimal over?
Then what happened? You know, like I say math, I'm not a math person.
So the fact that I'm telling my kid to move the decimal over, ironic. But I think it's being able to sit in that productive struggle with them and say, like, just simply ask those guiding questions. Like, what if you did this? Or what if you. thought about it a different way.
I remember when our kids were in fourth, fifth grade, we the teachers would tell us, if your child is not doing their homework on their own, they need to be. Like be available. Be present in case they need support, but at this point, they should be the ones doing that. Um, and I just remember that stuck with me because I just felt this pressure to be like, you know, on top of it. Again, sometimes my help actually interfered with some of the things that teachers would want to do, right?
And be like, Well, that's you know. And so the teacher's like, Don't, we're gonna learn this in class, but they're practicing it at home.
So I just remember, like, be available to them, set the parameters. Hey, designate a time where homework is going to happen, right? Those are things where you can guide them in that. But the actual work of it, like, let them be in the, I like that productive struggle, the productive struggle. Yeah.
Do you think is there Is there an age or like when does this like kind of shift start to happen where At some point when they're younger, it's no, homework has to be done before you do X, Y, and Z. And as like you were saying, Melissa, like you start to kind of like. release this responsibility to them. I mean, again, I'm sure it's different for every kid, but for the most part, my daughter is kind of like on her own. We'll ask about it.
Um, but I see her working, so I'm you know, assuming it's done and her grades. continue to show that she's probably doing it. But yeah, that's that's a tough balance. Yeah, we always told our kids, we trust you that you're doing this XYZ, whatever it is, not just in school, but in life in general, until you give us a reason not to. And then, you know, when that happens, then you know, things might have to change.
Yeah, yeah.
So, yeah. I had one funny anecdote that I thought of when Melissa was talking, but I can remember when she was younger. I'm trying not to say her name because I feel like you're not supposed to say kids' names. First names are probably younger.
Okay, when Jayla was younger, and her project for that day, because she was much younger, she had to make a mailbox for Valentine's cards. Oh, I love this project. I know. Oh, no. That's hard to be able to help with those.
I know the name. Because when you're having so much fun that I then turn around and she's nowhere to be found, I'm having a blast. And I'm like, look at this dinosaur. Like his name is and stuff. And she's like, okay, that sounds cool.
I love that. Hey, that's all the time we have for this episode. But join us next week as we continue this conversation with our guests. The Salvation Army's mission, doing the most good, means helping people with material and spiritual needs. You become a part of this mission every time you give to the Salvation Army.
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