Learning to Say the Right Words, Part 1

We're recipients of God's grace. How can we express the true meaning and significance of God's grace in our lives?

Grace is going to tutor us in how to say three things. The first expression is that little word, no. Go back to verse 12 again and look. Instructing us to deny. That word deny means to say no. It means to refuse. The kind of life you were living, you are now disowning.

You're saying no to it. As Christians, since God has given us his grace, can we act how we please knowing that God will forgive us? Well, in Titus chapter 2, the Apostle Paul helped Pastor Titus learn how to express God's grace properly. We're going to look at that passage together today.

This is wisdom for the heart. Stephen Davey is in a series from Titus 2 called Family Talk. The lesson he's about to share with you is called learning to say the right words. Carl Macoon was a likable Texan. I read a little bit of his story. He loved the outdoors. In the late 70s, he moved to Alaska, took a trucking job with the Trans-Alaska Pipeline, made good money, a few friends, took up photography and planned to make an expedition into the wilds of Alaska that still to this day bewilders everyone who hears his story. At the age of 35, he embarked on a five-month photography expedition. He'd spent a year planning every single detail.

He had solicited advice. He had used the year to purchase supplies. Then in the spring of 1981, he hired a bush pilot to drop him at a remote lake 70 miles northeast of Fort Yukon.

He had along with him two rifles, a shotgun, 1400 pounds of provisions and 500 rolls of film. He arrived. He set up his camp there in the isolation of the wild surrounded by nothing but gorgeous nature where he'd spent five months of hiking and hunting and fishing and photographing the splendor of his surroundings. He was blissfully unaware of one overlooked detail that would cost him his life.

He had made no arrangement with anyone to be picked up. It didn't dawn on him until August. His only hope was that a friend would remember how long he had expected to stay and notice his absence. Every day he searched for food and he scanned the skies for rescue and none came. By the end of September, the lake was frozen. The snow began piling up.

Hiking out was now impossible. His supplies nearly gone as well as his ammunition. The details of his final days are known to us because of a more than 100 page diary found near his body where he detailed those last months of freezing cold and starvation.

He was found by authorities nearly a year after he had first set up camp and begun his expedition. In his diary is perhaps the greatest and most tragic understatement of his life as he wrote and I quote, I should have used more foresight about arranging my departure. He planned every detail of his expedition. He had not planned any details for his exit. He planned everything for his living.

He planned nothing for his leaving. Frankly, I, as I read that story just a few weeks ago, couldn't help but believe that is the story of most human hearts on the planet today. They think only of living and nothing about leaving. Yet nearly two people will die on this planet every second. More than 6,000 an hour. 155,000 people die every day.

Around 57 million a year. I find it wonderful that the grace of God has made for us every provision not only for living in this wild world but in leaving this world. In fact, the only way you're ever going to live in this world heading in the right direction, the only way you're going to leave this world heading for the right destination happens to be the grace of God. We are saved by grace. We live by grace. We are taught by grace. We die in grace and go to heaven on the promise of God's grace for those who believe the gospel of grace. And in Titus chapter 2 where I invite your attention, the apostle Paul has been delivering what I've called a family talk. He comes to the end of this address speaking to every member of the family and he sort of pulls the cart over on the side of the road and says, look, I want to summarize everything by just telling you it's all about the grace of God. Not only in living and dying.

Living here and leaving here. It's the grace of God. The graciousness of God. Notice verse 11 where we left off. For the grace of God has appeared.

That little word for. That is everything I've been talking about to you is directly connected back to and empowered then by and encouraged by the grace of God. As an older man you can't pull off what I've challenged you to do without the grace of God. As an older woman you can't even begin without the grace of God.

A younger wife, mother, younger man, a servant of the household you can't do what I've challenged you to do. You can't live and you're not ready to leave without the grace of God. And would you notice he says the grace of God has appeared bringing salvation to all men. In other words this is your way out of here.

This is your exit strategy. The grace of God as we'll see in a moment. What have you done then with the gracious offer of salvation from God.

Have you made any plans relative to being picked up. Now I want you to notice that Paul is not saying that all men are saved. Don't misunderstand him he's not preaching universalism here. This connective conjunction begins the sentence this very long sentence by the way that stretches from verse 11 all the way through verse 14 one of those classic sentences by Paul is connecting it back to the context of the previous verses where Paul is addressed different categories of people you can understand Paul to be saying here in verse 11 for the grace of God has appeared bringing salvation to all kinds of people whether you're a man or a woman young or old bond or free toss in rich or poor Jew or Gentile married or single or widowed a parent or parent less child less citizen or foreigner. Anybody can be a member of the family of God. And if you're a member you got that membership card solely by believing in the gospel of the grace of God it's appeared it is your way out. But when you got saved grace was not finished with you.

Far from it. You're going to now grow in grace. Peter wrote in second Peter 3 18 that is you're going to grow up in the gracious character of your living Lord. So Paul effectively now in this sentence is I'm going to keep the cart parked over here on the side of the road for just a few minutes and explain to every member of the family how grace impacts every aspect of living and leaving.

That's what he does in verses 11 to 14. And what I want to do is outline what Paul has to say by giving you three different words or expressions to learn how to say three expressions determined by governed by the grace of God. In fact if you want to measure before we dive in so don't read ahead if you want to measure if you're growing in grace just ask yourself the question you'll be able to ask at the end of the study perhaps better. How often am I saying one of these three things and the first word to learn how to say by the grace of God in your life is the little word no in.

Oh this has to do with the kind of lifestyle you're in the process of rejecting on a daily basis. Look at verse 11 again for the grace of God has appeared bringing salvation to all men. Now notice what grace does next instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires see Paul sort of personifies grace that you actually think of a person and grace shows up and begins to teach us and she begins to teach us how to say no. Well I thought grace was all about how to say yes. Well it is but it's interesting that first you're taught how to say no.

In fact you're instructed. Did you notice that word. It has wonderful implications Paul could have in this. By the way he could have chosen the word did asco a Greek word that refers to a formal setting of teaching kind of like today I'm teaching you're listening behind a desk which even kind of helps present more of the image of a professor in a class and this kind of teaching works only if you show up if you miss the lecture or the sermon or the lesson tough you missed it.

Paul doesn't use that word. He uses the word pie duo which gives us our word pedagogy pedagogy. It refers more to teaching a toddler teaching a young child typically by a parent.

This kind of teaching is informal and it takes place in fact throughout the day whenever teaching moments arise you teach that little child. So what he means here that even in the choice of that verb is that the grace of God is a teacher that teaches us where and wherever we are. It daily teaches us whenever teaching moments arise which means the grace of God condescends to teach us at our own personal speed. In fact there's the nuance and the idea that that grace will reinforce truth according to our own personal needs and the style of learning where we learn best. Grace is the perfect tutor.

If she had taught me science and math I'd be a pilot. I wouldn't be in the ministry today and I would miss all of you terribly. If you missed a lesson or two yesterday Grace is going to show up today. She's ready to teach if you didn't quite get the lesson which none of us ever really master since the subject of our lesson is the character and the nature of God. Grace is going to show up again and again and again and lead us through the lessons all over again in fact for the rest of our lives we will have the companionship of this teacher this tutor called Grace and Grace is going to tutor us and how to say three things. The first expression is that little word no go back to verse 12 again a look instructing us to deny that word deny means to say no it means to refuse. You can also translate it to renounce to disown Paul is effectively saying the kind of life you were living you are now disowning you are renouncing you're saying no to it. Young couple in fact they joined in the first service told me recently they had literally decided to renounce everything they could think of that might stand in the way of their commitment and growth anything and everything anything questionable anything doubtful they poured down the sink all their alcoholic beverages they threw away most of their music collection books and magazines began spending their money differently they got up in the morning there's a young couple deciding to view life with a different shift entirely they effectively said we're finished with anything that keeps us on the fence we're going to start saying no to anything that sounds like looks like seems like our past life Paul expands the same idea to the Ephesians he says don't walk any longer as the unbelievers walk in the futility of their mind being darkened in their understanding excluded from the life of God because of the hardest of their heart they having given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity you didn't learn Christ in this way in other words grace isn't tutoring you to live like that in reference to your former manner of life you lay aside the old self which is being corrupted in accordance with the luffs of deceit and you're renewed in the spirit of your mind as you put on the new self which in the likeness of God has created us in righteousness and holiness Ephesians four seventeen to twenty four all that to say learning to walk in Christ tutored by grace means that you will first of all be taught how to say and to what to say no to the person who says hey I'm under grace and that means I can say yes to everything isn't being tutored by grace because grace teaches you in this text how to say no how to deny the old life growing up in Christ one author wrote is impossible without the discipline of refusal and isn't that just like growing up as a human being if you have children you know you're spending so much time with your toddlers as you're literally raising them in fact the one word you say more than anything is no you don't go around the house saying to them yes yes yes yes yes yes it's no no no no no no right I mean that's the word that is the number one word in your vocabulary your little angel toddles over to the cabinet there are the coffee table and and reaches out as his his pudgy little hand to grab it and you say no no and he freezes that he looks over at you without blinking an eye stares you directly in the eye and grabs it he has decided you're not as tough as you look this time he can take you on that's what he thinks of your no no no wonder mark twain said when a child reaches to put him in a barrel and feed him through a knothole he went on to say and then when he turns 13 plug up the hole not recommending that but he must have had some kids part of the challenge of growing up is responding to the word no what's wrong with playing in the street what's wrong with eating candy you know for supper well what's wrong with playing out in the rain when it's lightning that's a blast as a kid somebody comes along this is no the truth is we need grace to teach us what to say no to because our parents aren't gonna be around forever and especially as it deals now with with mature spiritual things physical things emotional things financial things our peers aren't gonna teach us the world system isn't gonna teach us the world system is designed to erase every no and replace it with now what are you waiting for now don't withhold anything don't say no say now Francis Schaeffer a Christian philosopher now with the Lord an author wrote some 40 years ago wrote this and I quote we are surrounded by a world that says no to nothing we have a society that holds itself back from nothing any concept of the word no is avoided as much as possible absolutes and ethical principles must give into selfish pursuits of course this environment fits exactly into our natural disposition because since the fall of man we do not want to deny ourselves either no wonder we need grace to show up regularly and teach us instruct us tutor us and how to say no grace will teach us to say no to ungodliness and worldly desires what are they well they didn't give us a list which I think is wonderful because now we can generalize this definition it would simply be anything a disciple of Christ who wants to grow anything you might do or say or pursue or or think or participate in where you would be embarrassed if Jesus showed up and and you heard the implicit from him no no this is this is how you leave your old life it's a it's a daily leaving moment by moment sometimes but there's more not only does grace teach you how to leave your past life it teaches you how to live your present life notice what he writes next in verse 12 instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires don't stop there but to live sensibly righteously and godly in this present world you don't just stop with no you know how you're you're growing Christian yeah how do you know I'm not doing this that I'm not doing that I'm not doing that I'm not doing that I'm not doing that don't stop there grace is going to teach you how to say yes and what to say yes to in fact the tenses of this verb to live to live sensibly indicate that it takes place at the same time as your denials this is a wonderful truth and very encouraging to every disciple wants to grow up in Christ in other words you're saying no to ungodliness and no to worldly desires while at the same time you are saying yes to living sensibly and righteously and godly see part of the misconception especially if you're new in the faith that the enemy is going to bring to your mind is that you're gonna you're gonna come become discouraged because you have this belief is this misconception that that you'll eventually arrive at some point where you will never have to say no again life will be an easy yes I mean surely a mature wise growing Christian gets to the point where he never has to bother saying no I mean those temptations are finally gonna give up say well leave that guy alone doesn't work and not according to Paul not according to the rest of the Bible in fact even Paul is a maturing believer transparently admitted to struggle with doing the things he didn't want to do and not doing the things he wanted to do Oh wretched man that I am Romans 7 you are never beyond temptation you will never outgrow the need to say no on a daily basis and at the same time you're never beyond the need to say yes to affirm these things we don't just put off the old man we put on the new man Ephesians 3 and Paul tells us that grace is gonna clothe us correctly take that off and put this on now Paul tells us that grace is going to teach us to say yes to three different attributes the first one here in verse 12 is sensibility this word has shown up several times and I've tried to mark it each time in your minds it occurred in chapter one as a qualification for an elder he needs to be known as sensible it is also a challenge for older men to be sensible chapter 2 verse 2 it's part of the growing development of a young wife and mother she's also told to be sensible in verse 5 of chapter 2 and also in the lives of young men they're told to be sensible in verse 6 now Paul broadens the application as I said he would to the entire church family so that no one is exempt from saying yes to this characteristic the word means if you remember to live with discretion to think and act with self-control it's a word that refers to somebody in fact is translated often especially the King James version to be of sound mind that is he's a believer who doesn't allow his mind to be controlled or distracted by either circumstances or culture and that is then the daily battle he daily makes up his mind to follow the truth daily now Paul adds another course in the curriculum of grace not only is the believer to live sensibly but righteously Paul by the way only uses this word in this form two other times in the New Testament one to defend his own actions as being upright one of the rare times he defends himself first Thessalonians 2 verse 10 and the other time to describe the believers obligation to stop sinning and live rightly 1st Corinthians 1534 living righteously means you live rightly you live with rightness you live in by the divine standard of what is right and it must be a divine standard outside of yourselves because if it isn't we're gonna think whatever we're doing is right let me get on a little hobby horse for a moment more and more you are hearing people talk about their values you know they have family values we have personal values the values that made our country great people who live according to their set of values I'm a man or a woman of values that word values dear flock means absolutely nothing it can be defined any way a person wants to define it the word values is entirely subjective it's whatever you happen to believe in whatever you happen to think is something valuable in the eyes of God it might not be valuable at all but you think it is and so you're a person of values and that's the word today it's used for everything from American made merchandise to organic food whatever you value is based on what you believe you feel you want to do and they are as varied as the wind values have replaced here here's the word that's that's disappeared values has replaced the word virtues it's one thing to say I'm a man of value it's another exam a man of virtue friends I hope that exploring the topic of grace has helped you understand more fully what God has done for you but also that you've learned more about what it means and how we should talk about it this lesson isn't complete it was too long to fit into one broadcast so we're gonna stop here for today and we'll bring you the conclusion on tomorrow's broadcast in the meantime there are other ways you can interact with our ministry this is wisdom for the heart we have a website where you can access all of our resources Stephen Davey has been teaching God's Word for 35 years in the archive of all those messages are posted online in addition he's authored several books and booklets all of it is designed to help you understand God's Word and grow in your faith the Bible teaching archive is free and you can listen to each message or read Stephen's manuscript once again that's wisdom online org well thanks so much for joining us today as I said earlier we'll bring you the conclusion to this message tomorrow so join us for that right here on wisdom for the hearts you