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May 27, 2020 1:00 am
If you're a parent topic of discipline is not always easy to navigate, so parent so he says here's the solution discipline will drive it from quickly, just as Christ hasn't driven from your heart folly, but you are actually the parent initiating the process that God will take over one day in their lives. And if you have taught them to listen to you.
You are teaching them to listen to him one day God's commanded parents to discipline their children. But knowing how to do that well is not easy. It's also a topic that generates a lot of controversy. How should we discipline children. Why should we be committed to discipline and how can we do it well.
This is wisdom for the heart with Stephen Devi today organist see what God's word really says about discipline organist see the practical implications for parents who want to follow God's word as it relates to this topic stay with us, as Stephen opens God's word next when you decide to study through the book of Proverbs, sooner or later confronted with the subject of parental authority and more specifically the disciplining of their children are controversial subject.
This would be one of them. There are numerous Proverbs in Solomon's collection that most people you live around door workaround would consider them terribly out of date and really out of touch. Proverbs like whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline. Proverbs 1324, or another one that says folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Proverbs 2250. Most people today was able no wonder that stuff is in the Old Testament that is ancient history. That's where belongs. Certainly not in our sophisticated era of the 21st century. There's an interesting proverb goes like this. Proverbs 2915 the rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself will lead to his mother's shame everybody knows intuitively that a child left to himself will ultimately bring shame on his mother and father. Every parent, whether they think the word of God should be relegated to ancient history or not know intuitively that their child is better off if they walk in a certain way that he would say is the way of wisdom and we know this wisdom is from God's word. I want to see for yourself that one particular proverb again turned chapter 29 verse 15 and let me read it. He says the rod and reproof give wisdom. The rod and reproof give wisdom. Proverbs 2915. According to Solomon. If you as the parent are not only going to hunt for hidden treasures of wisdom but help your child in that hunt for wisdom that treasure as well.
Solomon said here in this text that the rod literally serves as part of the treasure map to lead the way to wisdom. Imagine that this way wisdom is found in the woodshed. Now we would necessarily think of it that way but that's exactly what he says will balance this out as we go along but you want to know that the Hebrew word for rod costs are to be translated literally a club that serious business.
My mom didn't know that she thought it meant a switch and she would send me out in my free brother to deserve it more than I ever did which he sends out that kitchen side door out to her that little tree was and she tell us to pick out the switch that she would then use on our little bare legs. She she believe this kind of earth. The truth is today the. The average parent will do anything but spank their child back in our culture even to say that in public might be dangerous.
But I must say it anyway because it's in the word and you can go to Proverbs without encountering these truths. Most people would say that spanking a child will teach them the hit other children. Trusting your child has had a hit other children.
Whether you spank them or not.
Okay, in fact, with all the spankings I receive. I never once challenged some kid I didn't like in fifth grade headache after school. Meet me in the playground to give you a spanking.
My parents taught me how to do that and I want to do that to you know never crossed my mind due to somebody with my parents did to me. Perhaps our parents refuse to admit their child needs correction so they will argue with the teacher with the principal with the youth leader later with the policeman. Perhaps it's nothing more than pride is embarrassing. There is a certain unwillingness to face the humiliation of a child in need of correction.
They always do it at the most inopportune times in the middle of Walmart or wherever we all want our children to be at the head of the class dream plan to be at the head of the class certainly is and can be sent to the corner of the class or or expelled from class.my child maybe you have struggled with these Proverbs that were to look at because he came from Homer discipline was nothing more than physical abuse where hate and anger just spilled over and spankings came to.
There is a vast difference between a spanking and a beating guard discipline should deal not only with behavior but attitude and spirit and heart that we understand the greater issue is the corruption of the heart and the sin of of fallen creatures who are in desperate need of redemption and then spiritual growth varies either as a child being paid and allow demented George but only if I did the charge with the right attitude. They were after reformation, not simply behavior.
This is why Solomon writes in Proverbs 2915 here that it isn't just the rod it's reproof notice that it's correction verbal correction that reaches the heart and the door is open, by means of the rod. The Lord said in Luke chapter 6 verse 45 the good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good but the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks see that that's a way of reminding every parent that the heart is the heart of the issue child's misbehavior is reflecting their heart. So often we get sidetracked his parents with with behavior that we overlook belief they actually believe that lying may be acceptable. They actually believe that obedience is optional and is a girl out there testing the waters they they believe in cheating maybe permissible and is surrounded by people who say it is permissible. It's easy to think of it we can just get them to stop doing those things that we are successful. That was the point of Christ's warning to the Pharisees that kept all the rules. They look good they were at the head of the class they live clean lives, but they spoke of God with respectful lips which had nothing to do with reverential hearts change in behavior that does not stem from a change in heart is not commended by Christ.
It is can them as hypocrisy. What we want to admit it or not Solomon was telling the truth if I go back to chapter 22 verse 15. He says their folly is bound up in the heart of a child just found out he comes packaged with folly for foolishness.
In other words, they are born with the ability to live exceed to disobey, to declare their own will and demand their own way and and at a very early age.
They demand to know around here is big enough to take me on. They want to know who's in charge. Several years ago the Minnesota crime commission released an interesting report on the untamed child fire rated. I can't believe that this would ever be reported in the 21st century probably would but was released to the public in the 1980 and I quote every baby starts life is a little savage is completely selfish and self-centered.
He wants what he wants what he wanted his bottle, his mother's attention.
His playmates storing his uncles watch denied these and he sees with rage that would be murderers, were he not so helpless. This means that all children not just certain children are born delinquent if permitted to continue in the self-centered world of infancy given free reign to his impulsive actions as he grows. Every child will grow in some of Karen frankly put mom and dad. We are dealing with little sinners came into the world of the fallen, depraved heart corrupted part and they are capable of committing anything under the sun. Given the time the experience, the availability strength and the resources.
Solomon says when he says that that that folly is bound up in the heart of a child is there you to get the wrong baby at the hospital, you know the one you brought home came packaged with folly moral deficiency, inability to make godly judgment with pure reason for the Hebrew word means long before they can articulate rebellion.
They challenge authority and the accidents waiting to do in response, Solomon gives parents hope the end of that proverb in Proverbs chapter 22 verse 15. He says here's the solution discipline will drive it from him now, not overnight that quickly, just as Christ hasn't driven from your heart folly, rebellion, assertion pride, but he has committed himself to daily disciplining those whom he loves. And you know as well as I do. He does not leave you alone and he does not leave me alone because the task is finished, but you are actually as a parent initiating the process that God will take over one day in their lives.
And if you have taught them to listen to you.
You are teaching them to listen to him one day when you lay down some ground rules for biblical discipline: simply spanking a child.
First of all you need to understand the difference between physical abuse and the painful spanking if I if you have a sheet of paper you could draw a line right down the middle of it, and on one side, write the word abuse and on the other side right discipline.
Let me give you some characteristics to compare and contrast abuse is unprovoked and unexpected discipline is expected for certain behavior. You've already made it clear you've Artie laid down the rules. There are no surprises. Abuse is is unexpected. You never know when you get or why discipline is to be expected for certain behavior abuse is motivated through hatred and anger. Discipline is prompted by love and concern someone is being abused is another parallels them or not they're probably convinced that don't discipline is prompted by love and concern that is clearly communicated abuse and produces terror discipline produces security abuse leaves physical scars. Discipline is painful, but it leaves no scars. Abuse creates resentment against authority affected only deepens that kind of resentment against authority. Discipline creates respect for authority abuse resolves neither behavior or heart attitude discipline resolves forgiveness and forgets I remember discipline here in Proverbs 2215 goes hand-in-hand with plenty of communication or reproof, correction instruction to distinguish number one between abuse and discipline. Secondly, distinguish between immaturity and disobedience. Maybe they really did forget. Maybe they didn't get sidetracked with the frog or the dog in the backyard.
Or maybe they really did completely overlook the time. Third, distinguish the difference between inability and defiance. Maybe they really can't fulfill that task for them. Cleaning out the shed might be something that completely overwhelms them and are not sure where to start. How to do it in. It's an issue of inability not defiant. If you are certain it is indeed an act of disobedience or disrespect or deception by the way, those are the three D's or other household choir spanking disobedience, disrespect or deception, then what happens next is you are headed toward the woodshed with your child. Let me give you five guidelines for authority of productive trip to the woodshed. First of all, tell your child with their offense is and what their punishment will be. This eliminates by the way, the possibility of spanking them in the heat of anger. It allows for communication where you can tell them what the punishment is and why it's coming it. It allows the child to understand the issue at hand and that it is of their parents emotions or anger. It is their own sinful behavior or actions. Secondly, deliver the spanking. It might be free slots on age or to analytics with a belt on on the place that God created for discipline comes with extra padding is an amazing creation of his listen, slapping their face or punching them is is not the use of a rod infected will never yield the intimacy and closeness that comes after proper discipline is administered.
Why because because your hand didn't create the painful blow it held an inanimate object that created the pain and in this mystery of discipline the child comes to fear the leather strap or the switch or the paddle. They do not come to fear your hand third after the spanking.
Give them time to think and recover.
Depending on their age might leave the room with her older leave the room. Give them time to think about it. The younger they are, the more immediately they need the reassurance of your love and number four come back. You need to explain what God's word says that their behavior, their attitude of their sin to very personal conversation deals with her heart defect. After punishment, they are more open and ready to hear about the heart issue that is all you are interested in was delivering pain to make you remember that I that's all we are interested in well but paying in discipline in the mystery of discipline merely acts as a doorway through which the heart is now tender and open to hear local truth is not unusual for me to have my Bible, Lord, to quote a verse of Scripture to take them to some passage where I can tell them what the enemy is really wanting to do in their lives because of the much anger issues and ally. It's a much bigger issue than disrespecting me or their mother. It may very well be a lifelong or even an eternal issue. This is why Solomon wrote.
If you're still not convinced. Listen to this proverb if you strike him with the rod you will save his soul from death.
Proverbs 2314 this is a general principle that normally means discipline protects your children greater harm in protecting them from greater pain. There also those that are older, teaching them the principle of what one author called the harvest mentality that is the learning that they really what they so so after instructing them with the Scriptures and why this is a bigger issue and what Satan is trying to do in your heart and life and how is trying to get you to walk down this path and let me show you where that path is and you pray with them. They asked the Lord for forgiveness because they sinned against him primarily and you prayed thanking God for forgiveness is the final step. After prayer, the forget hug and words that clearly communicate. I love you and I have forgiven. This is the perfect resolution. The biblical discipline and I have found that timeouts no TV, no computer, and all this other stuff doesn't quite bring that kind of resolution discipline does. This is exactly this love for your child.
Though the comes through discipline.
Listen to this proverb he who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently. Proverbs 1324 is the truth no matter how you slice it. True love leads you down this path which may lead you into the woodshed from time to time anybody wrap up our study with 22 timeless truths about this subject. Number one, there has never been an easy time to raise children. Just ask Adam and Eve. Just ask Eli later Samuel asked David and Solomon asked Mary and Joseph and their brood of children that they had. After Jesus Christ, all of them defiantly refusing to follow the claims of Christ until after his resurrection. The turmoil in that home would have been unbelievable. No century, no generation has been without difficulty and danger and temptation.
There's never a perfect world there's never a perfect time to be a parent because we happen to live in a fallen world. So don't hide behind as well as just so much tougher now know the standard is still purity in holy living in his never been easy.
Listen to what Carl Zimmerman wrote as he talked about the American culture falling into what he called the final stages of disintegration he observed indicating cultures. These common characteristics one an increased ability to divorce without cause number two. The elimination of meaning in the marriage ceremony three pessimism concerning earlier figures in their culture who had earlier been considered a relic for the breaking down of inhibitions regarding adultery five.
The revolt of the use against parents. Six.
A rapid rise in juvenile delinquency number seven, a common acceptance of all forms of sexual perversion. I get this. Dr. Zimmerman wrote this in 1947 today every single day in America 1000 unwed teenage girls become mothers, 1106 teenage girls get abortions every day 4219 teenagers contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Several of them incurable and the media will never spill the secret discussing the commercials every day, 135,000 students bring guns or other weapons to school every day. 3610 teenagers are assaulted every day on average 80 R rate everyday 2200 of them drop out of high school after the statistics who every day. Six of them take their own lives.
If we don't provide the safeguards and standards in the hope in the relationship. If we don't set up the fence posts and protective boundaries. If we don't help them know which way to navigate their world will do it for them and they will do it for themselves. Listen to one paraphrase of Proverbs 1918 discipline your children while they are young enough to learn if you don't, you are helping them destroy themselves. Proverbs 1918 we read that again. Discipline your children while they are young enough to learn if you don't, you are helping them along the way of self-destruction.
Let me give you one more truth. This leads me to the second truth. Yes, there's never been an easy time to raise children. But secondly, there has never been a better time to shepherd your children than in maybe. Maybe after study like this or think implicit every disruption, and chaos. We would have a fight on our hands all the time wasn't taken by faith taken by faith get additional good and godly counsel. In fact on the home tonight and say I didn't hear Johnny yesterday. He said here's the rod whack. Please don't do that. I want them to love me. Take your time clearly communicate that these three things are four things are two things are whatever they are. These are nonnegotiable's the infractions will lead to discipline and then maybe show them in the Scriptures.
Some of these Proverbs that you underline and then watch and watch what Solomon promised to those who will follow Christ in applying biblical discipline in their home. Listen to this proverb discipline your son and he will give you peace. You really expect that the discipline your son and he is going to make you miserable. No discipline your son and he will give peace not chaos, not turmoil but peace. So now's the time to start. There has never been a better time to shepherd your children as a loving authoritative parenting and now there's never been a more critical time to start teaching the truth and holding the standard in developing the relationship and communicating God's word and lovingly disciplining sin and now my friend. I trust that God will give us all courage and faith and trust in his word to obey it and follow it demonstrated in the model. It and then to shepherd our children to do what they see moment and they ought to see us confessing to and they ought to see us apologizing to her now to see us going to the Lord to in the Odyssey is submitting give them hope they will give peace. Thanks for joining us today here on wisdom for the heart the lesson you just heard is called finding wisdom in the woodshed. You might be a parent who's still involved in raising young children, and if so I hope this lesson was an encouragement to you.
It might be that you're not apparent that your children are grown. But you know some young parents who could benefit from the wisdom of God's word offers on the topic of discipline.
I encourage you to take a moment and share this lesson with the parents in your life you can send them the link so that they can listen online.
You'll find firstname.lastname@example.org this lesson is also posted to our smart phone app and you can find the wisdom for the heart In both the iTunes and the Google play stores. We also post a link to each day's lesson on our Facebook page and to our Twitter feed sure and like our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter for daily updates regarding our broadcast schedule. Stephen Davey has two more lessons to go in this series through the book of Proverbs, so make sure you're with us tomorrow and Friday. As we continue through this series.
Between now and then we'd love to hear from you. It's encouraging for us to know that your listening to know how God is using these lessons to encourage you. You can send Stephen a note if you address your card or letter to wisdom for the heart PO Box 37297, Raleigh, NC 27627. You can also email us at email@example.com will be back tomorrow at the same time so make plans to be with us right here on wisdom for the heart