Beyond Christmas and Birthdays

How much do you invest in the people in your life? Do you remember them only on special occasions? A short-sighted man sees only Christmas, only birthdays.

He sees only mortgage payments and school bills and heating bills. His gifts are temporary. His gifts are impersonal. They don't personally connect with those in his world, but the affection of a godly man creates in him a desire for him to carve his name, as another one wrote.

Not on marble, but on hearts. Most of us think about giving gifts on special occasions like Christmas and birthdays. But what if the most important gifts you could ever give go beyond these fleeting moments? In Romans 1, 11 and 12, the Apostle Paul shows you what true gift-giving looks like.

He wasn't focused on material presents or temporary tokens of affection. Instead, his heart was set on giving spiritual gifts that would build others up and leave a lasting legacy. Paul had a deep longing to strengthen the faith of those he had never even met.

In this message, Stephen Davey challenges you to think beyond the temporary and focus on the eternal impact you can have on the people around you. In our current series of studies directed primarily to men, we have been uncovering the affections of a godly man, and we have discovered that a godly man has an affection first and foremost for God. He has an affection for God's people, and he has an affection for God's purposes. Furthermore, we have discovered that a godly man struggles to kneel on behalf of the people in his life and the people beyond his immediate sphere of influence.

We have discovered in the second paragraph of this letter called Romans a godly man who speaks with tender words and affectionate terminology, this heartfelt longing that he has to come to people that he has never met before, but in spite of that, he reveals that he's been praying about and for them constantly. We have discovered in Paul the truth that a godly man has a deep passion to leave a lasting spiritual legacy. He is a man who defines success not in terms of his resume, but in terms of his relationships.

For Paul himself said, first of all, that which I consider most important, first of all, I long to see you. Yes, the average man today, how he would define success, and he would pull out a long list, his stock portfolio, maybe the kind of car he drives, how many square feet his house has, how many garages are attached, the kind of people that fall under his line of direct command. The average father, you ask him about what successful fathering would be, and he would probably say something that his daughter got through college without getting pregnant, or his son got through school without getting some other man's daughter pregnant, and he never got arrested for drunk driving or never got on drugs, and he'll consider himself successful if he put food in their tummies and clothing on their backs and a roof over their head and gasoline in their cars. My friends, if that is you and that is your perception, you have yet to begin.

As one author said, you are doing nothing more than arranging chairs on board the Titanic when you ought to be building a lifeboat. If you think providing things for your loved ones only involves physical things, you've missed the most important things in life. If when you think of giving gifts, you only think of Christmas and birthdays and an anniversary, you have missed the most important gifts of all. Think for a moment with me about the gift of God's own Son. God's affection for the world evidenced itself in his love, in the kind of gift that he gave. The Bible says, for God so loved the world that he what? He gave his only begotten Son. That whoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life. That verse tells us several things about the gift-giving pattern of God. First of all, that the gift of God was freely supplied.

For God so loved the world that he gave. Like a present under a Christmas tree or beside a birthday cake, there are no price tags for the receiver. There's no comment about paying up later. It's a free gift provided for by the giver. The gift is free. Paul wrote in chapter 6 of Romans, verse 23, the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is what? Eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

I've asked many people over the years, as I've explained to them the nature of the Gospel and the definition of salvation, I've illustrated it this way. I have held my Bible toward them and I have said to them, Suppose I told you that this Bible was a gift from me to you. I want to give it to you. What would you have to do to receive it and make it yours? Well, you'd simply have to reach out and take it, right? But what if, while you were reaching, I pulled it back and I said, well, you know, my truck needs a good wash and a wax.

And what do you think? Well, if you washed and waxed my truck, would this be a free gift? No. You'd be my favorite church member, but this would not be a free gift. If you paid me a dollar for this Bible, it would not be a free gift.

If you paid me a penny, no. Going to the assembly or church is commanded in Hebrews 10, 25, while giving money to the cause of Christ is commanded in 1 Corinthians 16, 2, while getting baptized with water is commanded. That is the church to fulfill that command. In Matthew 20, verse 19, while these things are things you do for God, because you are commanded to do them if you want to be obedient, salvation is offered to those who do not fulfill demands, but to those who cannot fulfill demands. There are wonderful things you do for God not to get it, but because you have it.

Be careful that you don't confuse the evidences of salvation and obedience and the prerequisites to salvation. The gift of God is free of any work on the part of man because it is based upon the finished work of Christ. The second thing about the gift giving of God is that it is personally self-sacrificing. Eternal life to you is free because Jesus Christ paid it all.

He did everything. He paid the penalty on the cross, and he paid the penalty for your lust, your covetousness, your pride, your hypocrisy, your infidelity, your dishonesty. Peter wrote, he bore in his own body our sins on the tree. He paid the infinite penalty for an infinite number of sins.

Over an infinite period of time, being the God-man, he could compress infinity into a matter of three days and three nights. So he came, and when he was born on earth, God in the flesh, it was a statement of mankind that mankind was inadequate. So Joseph heard the angel in his dream come to him saying there would be a baby born and he would save his people from their, what, sins. In other words, mankind could not save itself from its sins.

The birth of that baby was just another way of saying that man was totally unable to save himself. The third thing about God's gift was that it was eternally significant, eternally significant. Whoever believes in him will not perish but have what?

Everlasting life, John 3 is 16. This is the way in which God gives gifts. And for a man who desires to be godly or godlike in the giving of gifts, his giving will mirror those kinds of characteristics. Now in the book of Romans chapter 1, we discover the same kind of gift giving in the life of the Apostle Paul and he models for us the affections of a godly man. And so we pick up where we left off at chapter 1 verse 11. For I long to see you in order that I may impart some spiritual gift to you that you may be established. That is, that I may be encouraged together with you while among you, each of us by the other's faith, both yours and mine. You notice Paul's affectionate terminology? I long to see you.

It's another way of saying I am homesick for you. One author wrote that Paul didn't want to come to Rome so that he could see the Colosseum. He didn't come to Rome so that he could see the famous architecture in that imperial city.

He didn't come to take in a chariot race or two. He longed to see them. He longed to be with them. He longed to connect with them. Why?

He writes here. In order that I may impart some spiritual gift to you. You could translate that some gift pertaining to your spirit. Now the word for gift is charisma. It's the same word used by Paul in chapter 623 that I have already quoted the wages of sin as death, but the charisma of God. It is used to speak of the gifts of Christ, primarily that of salvation. The gift or the charisma of God through Christ. Charisma is used to refer to general blessings given by God to his people who walk obediently with him. It's also used to refer to those areas of ministry or service. We call those spiritual gifts whereby we are able to edify and encourage one another and bring advancement and glory to the cause of Christ. Paul says here, I have a charisma that I want to give to you.

Now we don't know which particular venue he's referring to. I agree with one that Paul is probably using the word in its largest possible sense. Paul may be in effect saying to some who would be in the sound of the reading of this letter, I want you to receive the charisma of eternal life through Jesus Christ. To others, he might be saying, I want to come so that you may have those special gifts as you obediently walk before God on the basis of what you'll learn as I teach you. Maybe he is in effect referring to simply that, that he wishes to come to them so that he can exercise his charisma. He can exercise his spiritual gift in leading and teaching them.

We don't know. But what would the lasting impact of this kind of godly charisma, this kind of gift be upon them? He says in the last part of verse 11 that you may be established. This is a favorite word of Paul's, this word established. He uses it in Romans 16, 25 of the believer being established by the gospel. He uses it in 1 Thessalonians 3, 13 of Christ establishing people's hearts and holiness. He uses the word in 2 Thessalonians 2, verse 17 of the believer who is comforted and established in their hearts for every good work. Peter uses the word in 1 Peter 5, 10 for the believer who is suffering in Christ, but whose heart is established in view of their coming home in heaven.

He also uses the word in 2 Peter 1, 12 for the believer who is established in the truth and thus not deceived. Now the word translated established comes from the Greek word sterizo, from which we get our transliterated word steroid or steroids. It means to build up, to strengthen. Sometimes a medical doctor will prescribe steroids to help someone who is struggling with weaknesses or some disease. Obviously, steroids have been dangerously misused by some athletes who want to bulk up quickly. But Paul, to use it in our own contemporary terminology and thought, was telling them in effect that he wanted to come to them so that he could put them on a spiritual weight program.

That is, so that he could bulk them up. He could add spiritual muscle to their faith. Now we already learned that this body of believers was famous for their faith.

He said, I thank God for you all because your faith is being proclaimed throughout the whole world. Their faith was famous, but evidently it wasn't yet firm. So Paul is in effect telling them that he is coming to them because they aren't ready to handle persecution. They cannot fully stand against deception.

They're not ready for the hardships of life. He knew that their feet could potentially slip, and so he wanted to come to them and, as it were, inject into them spiritual steroids of truth. Paul knew they were in danger.

In 1998, Steve Farrar wrote in his book to men entitled Anchorman the story of Jim Hayhurst and his 20-year-old son, Jimmy. They were part of the Canadian team that was making the long ascent up Mount Everest. As they were trekking across the Himalayas on the first stage of the climb, they had to cross one of the many rivers flowing down the lower part of Everest. That's when Jimmy slipped on a rock and fell into the fast rushing river. He wrote, my son feverishly twisted and tumbled as the river played with him like a rag doll. He tried to grab onto a rock, but the river was simply moving too fast.

Suddenly he stopped. His backpack had caught on a rock in the middle of the river, and just four feet in front of him, the river tumbled over a cliff and dropped nearly 1,000 feet to the valley below. Jim wrote, if I started toward him, I might dislodge another rock. I might change the direction or pressure of the water that held him firmly against that rock. He might slip off the rock he was holding onto that held him above the waterfall, and so I stood 20 feet away from my son and watched him hang at the edge of a 1,000-foot cliff.

Jim recounts how his son Jimmy was able to shift his weight and turn toward them and reach for the rope they threw him, and he was eventually pulled to safety by the rope. This is what Paul is doing here. He knows the Roman believers are going to face great danger, but he can't get to them yet. He isn't going to arrive in Rome for some time, so until he can come to them, he throws them this rope called the letter to the Romans.

Paul knew that slippery rocks were directly in their path, and you might say, man, were they ever fortunate. I mean, it would be so wonderful if I had the apostle Paul come and throw me a rope because I'm walking on slippery ground, and that would keep me from plunging into trouble, I'm sure. The truth is, my friends, he has come to you. Have a Bible in your hands.

The letter was thrown to them, but it has been thrown by God's gracious design to you as well. And I suggest you, as it were, tie it around your waist. Keep it near you. Keep a hand on it.

Don't just keep it near you, but read it and memorize parts of it and meditate on it. It will have the same effect on you that it had on the men and the women and the young people that it was written to nearly 2,000 years ago. You will be, as it were, stay rizzoed. You will be established. You will be strengthened. You will add bulk to your beliefs.

You will add spiritual muscle to your manhood. And that is, I believe, what is missing among men today. It is that spiritual side of manhood that comes from the Word of God impacting their lives. Paul goes on to say to them what I think is a rather startling phrase, verse 12. That is, that I may be encouraged together with you while among you, each of us by the other's faith, both yours and mine. That is a startling phrase.

Can you imagine what this meant to the Romans? He's saying to them, I can't wait to come and be with you because your faith is going to encourage mine. To put it into a contemporary context, just think of someone that you admire who is a spiritual leader or mentor. Maybe it's somebody you listen to on the radio or somebody who's... Maybe it's somebody that you've listened to like I have recently, like a John MacArthur or an Erwin Lutzer or a Chuck Swindoll or a Tony Evans or some of those kind of men.

You just add the name in your own mind. But imagine getting a personal letter from them saying to you, I can't wait to be with you because I know when I'm with you, my faith is going to be strengthened for the cause of Christ. What a compliment. What an incredible encouragement this must have been to these believers.

You know what this is? This is what I would call godly praise. I can't wait to be with you because I know if I can just get there, you're going to stoke my fire for God. This is Paul writing to them. I read recently that the Duke of Wellington who defeated Napoleon at Waterloo, a demanding statesman and military leader, he had come to the end of his life and was having a conversation with a dear friend of his. He was asked if he had life to live over again, would he do anything differently?

And he said after thinking for a while, yes, I would. I would give more praise. A recent USA Today article indicated that when teenagers are under stress or facing a crisis, the first place they turn to for comfort and solace is their music. The second place they turn to is their friends. The third place they turn to is the television. Fathers barely made it on the list somewhere down at number 48.

Maybe that's because we're prone to communicate with terminology and an attitude like we know everything and they do not know anything. Guilty. Here's Paul who was a walking theological encyclopedia saying, I can't wait to be with you because I'm missing something in my walk with Christ and you're going to have it for me. What godly praise. I think of J. Paul Getty Jr. I read about him recently. His father was, of course, one of the wealthiest men of the world. Paul Jr. was raised in California primarily by his mother.

He rarely ever saw his father. Once when he was in high school, he decided to write his daddy a letter. There were some things on his heart that he wanted to share. So he sat down and wrote that letter. He told later to his biographers a letter that meant everything to him and he sent it off. A few weeks later, he got the letter back from his father.

Only his father had simply marked all the grammatical and spelling errors with a red pencil. There was absolutely no personal response attached from his father. J. Paul Getty Jr. said, as an older man, I have never gotten over that letter. Paul is the one man. You realize this as you read his letter?

He slipped back into time and how that must have touched them. He's the one man that could have pulled out a big red pencil and noted all the deficiencies of the Romans and all of their theological errors and all the things that they were deficient in. He could have made it clear that I'm going to come and I'm going to teach you everything. But instead, he adds immediately upon that promise, I'm going to be encouraged by you, each of us by the other's faith, both yours and mine. Let me quickly tie up the loose ends here of this study by giving four similarities between the gifts of Paul and the gifts of godly men who desire to live like him. First, your gifts will support the cause of Jesus Christ.

This is a way of overcoming stinginess in the life of a man. See, what have you given that you do not control? One of the reasons why perhaps it's hard to give something away because you have no control over it once you've given it away. And what did your gift earlier in this service reflect as to your heart attitude toward God whom you say you have affection for? As you look back over your shoulder and that checkbook register, I wonder if you gave less to the cause of Jesus Christ than you spent on your dog or your cat.

I challenge you to find out. A man who has affection for the things of God will have affection for the purposes and the cause of God, and he will give to that end. Secondly, the gift giving of a godly man strengthens the spiritual walk of those in his world. This is a way of overcoming self-centeredness. We're not thinking just about our world, our little lives and our bodies and our things.

We are thinking about the spiritual nature of those entrusted in your life who live in an immediate family or an extended family or under your influence in the workaday world. Third, the gifts of a godly man will speak encouragement to the hearts of others. This is a way of overcoming self-adulation. It's hard to praise yourself and praise somebody else at the same time. It's hard to talk about yourself and talk about somebody else at the same time.

You just can't do it. The gifts of a godly man will speak encouragement to the hearts of others, and finally, the gifts of a godly man will stretch the faith of others. This will overcome shortsightedness, the temptation to live for the here and the now. A shortsighted man sees only Christmas, only birthdays. He sees only mortgage payments and school bills and heating bills. His gifts are temporary. His gifts are impersonal.

They don't personally connect with those in his world, but the affection of a godly man creates in him a desire for him to carve his name, as another one wrote, not on marble, but on hearts, not on some brass plate you attach to some corporate door, but in the lives of people that have been entrusted to your immediate influence. Louis Pasteur, the French chemist and microbiologist, died in 1895. He was responsible for uncovering a number of things. He discovered several vaccinations. He formulated them against things like chicken cholera and anthrax, and especially the dreaded rabies. Thousands of people in his day, I've read, died of rabies every year. When he was convinced that he had formulated the correct vaccine for rabies, he was going to attempt to experiment on himself. But at that moment in his life, a young boy by the name of Joseph Meissner in his village was bitten by a rabid dog, and Joseph's mother came to Louis Pasteur and begged him, please give this to my son. He said to her, it's untested.

I don't care. His only hope to live is your vaccine. And so for the next ten days, Louis Pasteur gave Joseph Meissner regular doses of this vaccine.

Joseph Meissner survived, completely cured of this dreaded disease. Years later, when Louis Pasteur was planning for his own funeral, he was asked what he wanted carved into his headstone. He thought for some time, and then he said, no, I only want three words inscribed on my headstone. And they have been indeed inscribed on his headstone. You read to this day, simply, Joseph Meissner lived.

Joseph Meissner lived. My friend, what kind of impact do you even desire to have on lives? Go way beyond Christmas and birthdays. Give gifts that are born out of true affection.

Gifts that truly, truly last forever. That was Stephen Davey, and this is Wisdom for the Heart. This message is called Beyond Christmas and Birthdays. One of Stephen's greatest passions is training and equipping men and women for service to God, which is why he founded Shepherds Theological Seminary, or STS. Graduates of STS are serving God in churches and communities around the world. Many men have earned their degrees and have gone out to plant churches.

Others are serving as pastors in established churches, making an impact in their local communities. If you or someone you know is interested in graduate-level theological training, consider STS. The seminary offers a 100% paid scholarship for qualified men who want to become pastors. If you're willing to study full-time, complete the program in three years, and your goal is pastoral ministry, this might be for you. You'll need to study in person at our campus in Cary, North Carolina.

For more information, visit wisdomonline.org forward slash STS. But even if God has not called you to full-time ministry, STS has something to offer. Many people take one or two classes to gain a better understanding of the Bible and theology.

You don't need to leave your current job or relocate to be part of these courses. Shepherds Seminary offers online options so you can join a class from wherever you are. If you prefer in-person learning, Shepherds Seminary has classes in Cary, North Carolina, Laramie, Wyoming, and Bryan, Texas. There are also clusters of students who gather at local churches and take classes together.

These clusters are found in places like Birmingham, Alabama, Lincoln, Nebraska, and more. Our world needs people who can faithfully interpret and teach God's Word. Stephen and the STS faculty are ready to invest in you. For more information, visit wisdomonline.org forward slash STS today. Before we leave you, would you like to receive occasional texts and emails from Stephen?

He sends ministry updates and words of encouragement to help you in your faith. Signing up is easy. Just visit wisdomonline.org forward slash email. Stay connected and encouraged by signing up today. I'm Scott Wiley. Thanks for taking the time to be with us today. Join us next time to discover more wisdom for the heart. you