Well, listen, today we're going to go ahead and dive right in. If you have your Bibles, you can join me in Exodus chapter number 20. Here today. We've been in a series entitled Written in Stone. And this series is a series through the Ten Commandments as we slowly just dissect each commandment and look at how it's relevant for us here today.
And so we get to see that. I mean, in fact, I've said this every week of the series: that our society in general, specifically American society, was rooted in a lot of ways in what we've been studying here from Exodus chapter number 20. I mean, our entire legal system and framework behind that was rooted in the words of God to Moses on Mount Sinai here in Exodus chapter number 20. And as we've watched our society kind of move from the Ten Commandments, it is a reminder and it's a question that I think our world's asking. I think Christians are asking: are these words still relevant for us?
Do they still matter to us? And the answer is yes. I've mentioned that the Old Testament law has over 600 laws in the Old Testament, and you can categorize them in one of these three categories. You have God's moral law. You have God's ceremonial law.
And then you have gods like the dietary laws. And Paul comes into the New Testament and says, We are under grace, and we are no longer under the dietary restrictions or the ceremonial laws that are mentioned in the Old Testament. But Jesus himself kind of doubled down on God's moral law, which is what we find here in Exodus chapter number 20. And so he raises the bar just a little bit on God's moral law in the New Testament. And so we find that these laws are still relevant.
For us. Here today. And so as we read, we come this week to the fifth commandment that we are going to look at. Let's read Exodus 20, and we'll continue from verse 1 all the way through verse 12. It says this, and God spake.
All these words saying. I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt. out of the house of bondage.
Now remember, the nation of Israel was in captivity. They were slaves in Egypt for over 400 years. And then God, through Moses, led them out of the nation of Israel out of the nation of Egypt. And then a few months after that, God calls Moses up on Mount Sinai and he gives him The Ten Commandments, what we find here, verse 3: Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them, for I, the Lord thy God, am a jealous God. Visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children. unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me. and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me. and keep my commandments.
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour and do all thy work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD thy God. In it shalt thou not do any work. Thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates.
For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth. the sea and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day, wherefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it. And then in verse 12 is where we are going to be here today looking at the fifth commandment. If you want to, any of those commandments we just read, you want to review those, you can always do so on our website, and they will help you if you want to go a little deeper into that. And then in verse 12, it says this: honor.
Thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God gave. giveth thee. And all the parents said, Amen, right? As we come to this fifth commandment. I think this is the commandment that every parent in the room has been waiting for.
Right? This is your favorite commandment. I thought about dismissing you right now to go get your kids from Kids Church and bringing them in here today just so that they can hear the importance and the heartbeat behind this. If you're a kid in the room today, maybe a teenager or a child that is here today, I want you to know this is a good commandment. It's a good commandment.
And you might be asking, you know, like, hey, there's a commandment directly attached to us as kids. Where is the Commandment that is directly attached to the parents. It's the one we're going to look at next week: Thou shalt not murder. And And so As we look at this, I want you to know that this is a good commandment. The first four commandments that we've already looked at dealt with our relationship.
To God. All about our vertical relationship to God. And as we come to the fifth commandment, it's really a transition commandment because this one and on all deal primarily with our relationships to other people. And so it's important to note that our relationship with God is the most important, and out of our relationship with God flows. Flows our relationships with others.
And so, if you want your relationships to other people, starting with your parents, what we're gonna look at today, to be right, it starts with a vertical relationship. With with God. And so God has placed way back here in the beginning. Parrots Um as his designated authority. Over children with the responsibility to love.
and lead their children in the ways of God. That is the original design. for the family. Let me go a little deeper than that. The role of discipleship in your children.
is not the church. It is mom and dad. And I want you to understand that very clearly because when I was a youth pastor, I would have families come to me and their kids or that maybe had done some bad things, gone off the deep and whatever, and they would almost come to me and say, fix this. And I'm like, listen, I'm a partner, and that's what the local church is. That's what youth leaders are, that's what kids' ministry leaders are.
They're partners with you as you seek to disciple your kids. But let me tell you this. Their small group leaders are not responsible for their spiritual direction. And their spiritual discipleship. The original design and plan for that was.
was the home. In fact, the family is the backbone of society. It's also the backbone of local churches. I say often that we're as healthy as the families in this room are healthy. As a church.
Because we believe that family is so important. And so, so, children, I want you to know, and really everyone in here, if you have a parent that is still living, when we honor our parents. We honor God. But when we dishonor our parents, we dishonor We dishonor God.
Now, when you think about God's original design and the way that He did this, it's no if if family, if that's true, that family is really the backbone and strength of society. It should not come as a surprise to us that the enemy is trying to attack the home. It should not be surprising to you that the enemy is trying to redefine, if you would, what a home should look like. That's exactly what you see in our society, and it is a direct violation of this commandment in the way that God originally designed for it to be. God designed for there to be a father and a mother who work together being led by God to provide a loving, stable, and godly environment for our children so that they can grow up in the nurture and admonition of God.
That was his original design and his original intent. And so, as we come to this, I want you to know this is his design from the very beginning, but how do we apply this? If you're a child in here under your parents' household, I want you to lean in for just a little bit because I intend to be very practical. If you're an adult and you still have living parents, we're going to address what that looks like as well. I want to be extremely practical about what I believe this fifth commandment is talking about.
And in order for us to do that, there's three words that I think are super important about the family that are really throughout Scripture, but in three main passages that we see. It's the word honor. It's the word fear. And it is the word obey. And so, I want to, real quick, just look at those three words and how we're to apply this fifth commandment.
The first one, what we're supposed to do, the application here is we're supposed to honor our parents.
Now, I want you to know up front, this commandment. It's so challenging, and here's why. is because You're probably going to approach, you might already feel this in your heart. You're going to approach this commandment. Depending on the type of family that you grew up in.
So, if you grew up in a family that was godly and you had admirable parents. then you're probably going to approach this in a very positive way. Way. You're going to see this very natural. You're going to see this as good.
But you're probably asking some questions here today, and maybe even have some intention in your heart if you grew up with. With absent parents? Or parents that neglected you or abandoned you, or parents that mistreated you. Maybe parents just that were emotionally disengaged. Or possibly even abusive.
Parents. And whatever your story is in here, here's what I want you to understand as we look at this. I want to be sensitive and I'm sorry if that described any of your upbringings. But what I want you to see is this: God knows your story. And he knows the upbringing that you grew up in.
And he knew all of that, and yet, still in the midst of that, he gave us a very simple. Command. And so, as you look at that, I want you to think with that in mind: that God knew our stories, and yet. He knew our situation and yet he still wrote. Exodus 20 verse 12.
On these tablets.
So the word honor. In Hebrew, which is what the Old Testament was written in. is the word kebed. It's the word kebed. And here's what this word literally means here in Exodus 20 when we talk about honoring your parents.
It means it can be translated to. to make Heavy. To make heavy. And you might be thinking, like, what in the world does that mean? It's talking about value.
It's talking about placing value on your parents. I mean, in this culture, um, Precious stones and I guess like metals and things like that, their value was dependent upon how much they weighed.
So, in other words, if you had a stone and you were trying to check the value of it, if it was a precious stone, a lot of times the weight of that stone would determine the value of the stone in that day. You still see pockets of that in our culture even here today. And so, when we look at this word Kebed, this Hebrew word that we get the word honor, it means this weighty environment. It means, as a child and even as an adult, if you have parents, it means that you place a high value. on your parents.
It's the idea of honor and treating them with value. Because they have worth. Because they have worth to you. In other words, what God is trying to tell us is this, is we want to apply heavy appreciation for our parents because they are God's assigned representatives of authority in your life.
So, therefore, they deserve to be honored. And so, going back to what I said earlier, if you're in here and you're thinking, okay, well, my parents weren't good parents, they don't deserve to be honored. And I want to be sensitive, and I understand that. And trust me, I want to empathize with you. On that, and I'm sorry that you had an upbringing like that, but there's a story in Scripture that I think we can learn something from.
Okay? In the Old Testament, Genesis chapter number nine. Uh no uh Remember Noah, right? He built the ark. And uh Noah spent So the rain came for 40 days, 40 nights.
They spent over 100 days on the ark. Just their family.
Some of you hardly dealt through a few days of COVID being quarantined at home with your family. Remember that? And so it was crazy. And so they spent over 100 days right there together, just their family. And when they get off the ark, Noah does something that is terrible.
In fact, it's one of those passages of scripture we don't like to talk about, and you're probably not going to hear a whole lot of sermons about it. But when he gets off the ark, he goes out and he builds a vineyard. And he gets drunk. He gets drunk. And in his drunken state.
He literally takes off all of his clothes because he completely, you know, as a drunkard would, they lose control over everything in their mind and all this kind of stuff. And one of his sons comes.
Now, was Noah in the wrong? Yes, nobody's arguing that. Noah was wrong and he was in sin and the whole nine yards. He shouldn't have done what he did. And so one of his sons comes in and he sees them, and imagine how embarrassing that would be.
Imagine how dishonorable that would be. And so one son comes in, he sees his dad, who's just drunk, and he kind of exposes him and he mocks him. And he makes like fun of him and different things like that. And then, when his other two sons come and see their dad in this terrible, terrible state of drunkenness, instead of just shaming him and different things, you know what they do? They cover him up.
They come around. And the reason I tell you that story is Noah was 100% in the wrong. And perhaps your parents didn't raise you in the right way, just like clearly Noah had major issues in his life as well. But what you see here is this: there was a blessing on the sons. That didn't mock Their dad.
In the midst of his flawed, sinful behavior, but there was a curse put upon the one that did. And here's what I'm telling you is this. I hate if you were raised that way, you shouldn't have been, because that wasn't God's original design. And if your parents didn't raise you the right way and they neglected you and abandoned you and maybe even abused you, I want you to know they were wrong. And you did not deserve that.
But there's still something here about honor that we can learn from here in this passage. You say, honoring them. It means you treat them with weighty worth. It means that you treat them as valuable. Doesn't mean that they're perfect.
They're going to make mistakes. Every single one of your parents are flawed. Every single one of your parents are flawed. They're going to make mistakes. They're going to lose their cool.
They're going to forget things. They're going to, whatever, you know, they're going to go back on their word. They told you that they're eating out, and then they decide that they're not going to eat outless, and they're going to sometimes make that. mistake of going back on those kind of things.
Okay, and so my point is: is this we make mistakes all of the time, but when we honor them, it means that we honor them with grace when they make a mistake. And that's what honor is. But the second word that we see in Scripture is found in Leviticus 19 when God is kind of re giving the law in Leviticus 19, verse 3. We see this: We're supposed to not only honor, we're supposed to fear our parents.
Now, our English word for fear, some of you are like, I do fear my mom and dad. And it's a different word. But the point is, in Leviticus 19, you'll see the verse on the screen. It says, Ye shall fear every man his mother and his father, and keep my Sabbaths. I am the Lord thy God.
The word fear here literally can be translated this, respect. Respect. It's not like our English word fear, like you're terrified of your mom and dad. Although there are healthy elements of that in your households. And what we learn here is that it is a respect, it is an admiration, it means that you value them.
And here's what I want you to know, and it's true of all of us, and I'm preaching to the choir here. Kids do not know what respect is even anymore. Because we have a generation that now we've kind of lost sense of that, where a lot of parents have said, you know what, I don't want my kids to fear me or anything like that.
So now we've taken a different approach where we, I mean, we see it all the time, especially in our Christian school, where, you know, parents just want to be their friends. With their kids. And you see this kind of pendulum shifting, if you would. And I'll just tell you this: we've lost sight. of a healthy fear of mom and dad the way scripture told us through.
This healthy reference, this healthy respect for mom and dad, because kids used to. Used to fear them. You know, the reason why we've lost respect is because back in the day, let's just be honest, you can probably say, have you ever, as an, you know, if you're a grandparent, have you ever looked and thought, man, my grandkids get away with things that I'd have never been able to get away with? Have you ever felt that way?
Okay.
Well, you're probably some of that problem, let's just be honest, as grandparents. But I'll just tell you this: there's a lot of things that growing up we couldn't get away with. You know, you never sassed mom and dad back in the day. Right, you remember? It was like, you never did that.
light ever. That was how it was in my household. And sometimes it's like, you know, for us, and I'm part of the problem, is that we allow so much and we're not teaching kids how to respect anymore. We don't know how to. I mean, when I was growing up, I mean, things like, and I'm not vouching one way or the other, definitely nothing bad or abusive, but like a spanking was not bad back in the day, right?
And I'll tell you this, I got a lot of them. I know that's surprising, okay? But I got a lot of them, and it taught me how to have a healthy fear and respect for mom and dad. You know what else? I don't know if any parents do this anymore, but one thing my parents did growing up.
is um if I sassed mom and dad, they had this bar of soap. How many of you have ever had your mouth washed out? What's up? Be honest with me.
So here's what happened. I remember I had friends over. I might have told you this story at some point. I was in like the fifth or sixth grade, and I had some friends over. It was the night before soccer camp in the summer.
And so we have these friends over. And you know, when you have friends over, you just want to be the coolest kid in the world.
So you think, man, I own this home, right?
So you're just thinking you can say whatever you want, and everything you push the envelope. You think you can do whatever you want.
So I had these friends over. Mom comes up late at night. She says, Hey, boys, you got soccer camp in the morning. You need to go to bed. And I didn't want to go to bed, and I knew they didn't want to go to bed, so I'm just going to show them how I control my house.
So I said This, I couldn't say this word. I still don't think it's a great word, but I said this, and I'll tell you, you'll probably have to edit this out. But I said, this sucks like that. My parents hated that word, and I wasn't allowed to say it. And I said that, kid you not, I had four friends in my room.
My mom looked at me. You know the look. You know what I'm talking about? And she looked, and she just with the finger.
So come in. And I was like Why did you do that, Josh? And she took me right in the hallway, bathroom, right outside my room, door open, the whole nine yards. My friends were just right around the corner. Took the bar of soap right there.
I mean, just, I mean, I still think I have pieces of soap in my teeth today. Most embarrassing thing ever. But here's my point. You know what I learned that day? Don't disrespect mom and dad.
Because it violates this commandment. There's a healthy respect level that we have to do. And mom and dad, you have to teach your children to respect your authority. That's a direct thing that we are commanded to do. Because I'll tell you this, because we see it every day in our Christian school.
If you don't teach them to respect you, you know what happens? They don't respect these teachers. They're not going to respect the law. They're not going to respect their boss one day. They're not even going to respect their future spouse.
They're not going to respect these things if we don't teach because God ordained the family to be the place where respect is taught. And when we take it out of the family, guess what happens? Where we live in 2025, that's where what happens. And that's what we got to learn. There's a healthy fear and a healthy respect given.
Children. I gotta hurry. Children, respect your parents and the way that you talk to them. Respect your parents in the way you talk about them. Respect your parents in the way you respond to them when they say something that you don't want to hear.
Respect them in the way that you listen to them without speaking. Respect them in the way that when they tell you something, you don't roll your eyes. Right? You don't, you know, ugh. You ever hear that from your kids?
Me either.
Okay, never, never. Respect them when you this by the way, when your kids are in the room and you're the preacher, this is the worst, okay?
So give us a little bit of grace. But respect them by not stomping your feet when they tell you to do something. Because here's what I'll tell you. There's a verse about disrespect in the Old Testament, and I don't think God works this way anymore. But in Proverbs chapter 30, Solomon said this.
The eye that mocketh his father and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick him out, and the young eagle shall eat it. In other words, here's what I'm going to tell you. According to God, if you disrespect your parents, man, there could be a raven.
Some of you need to be careful when you go outside because you disrespect your parents all the time. Right? You gotta watch out. You ever see a. Flock of birds, you better go inside.
Because you never know. This could be God's judgment, okay? That's a joke, by the way. I don't think he works that way anymore because I've never had a vulture attack me, and I was pretty disrespectful growing up. Third word and we'll be done.
Obey your parents. Ephesians 6 talks about obeying them. this is right. Obey is the combination of two words. Seriously, if you look this word up, Negrete.
To listen. And to be under. In other words, when he's saying, obey, our English translation, here's what that word means: you listen to those that you are under. But you're your parents. And I will add, he says, to obey them in the Lord in Ephesians chapter 6.
You're not ob obligated to obey them when they ask you to do something against the law. In other words, if finances is hard in your house, And they ask you to go rob a bank. You can say no, okay? Which I don't think your parents are ever going to ask you to do that. But the point is: in the Lord, means you obey them when they tell you to do what's right.
But listen, if you want things to go well for you, Scripture says obey your parents. And there was something so serious about this in the Old Testament. In fact, in the Old Testament, this was a capital violation. You violate this commandment, You lose your life. I mean Deuteronomy chapter 21.
Talks about it in verses 18 to 21. You violate this, you get called out, and you get killed. I'm not advocating for that, but what I'm telling you is, back when God orchestrated and ordained this commandment. and instituted this, he meant honor. Fear?
And obey your mom and dad. No questions. That's what we're told to do. And there was a seriousness and a sacredness around the home and the family that I think our culture. and the church has lost sight of.
Take up the responsibility. Of teaching your children how to properly honor and properly respect. And here's what I'll tell you: because I'm a dad, I get it, it takes a lot more work to teach your kids those things. It takes intentionality. It takes time when you're running out the door and you get disrespected.
All right, let's sit down. We need to talk about this. It takes time. You might be behind on some things to teach your kids, but it's worth it. Our society needs kids to grow up and understand what respect looks like.
They need that. And so, I mean, in fact, you can say nowadays we need to be more vigilant because 2 Timothy 3 says one of the signs of the end times is disobedient to parents.
So, I think there's a sense we need to be more engaged in this commandment now than ever.
So, in closing, I'm going to give you just a few things. Young children, if you're still under your parents' household, here's a few things that I'll tell you: obey your parents. Remember that they are flawed.
So show them grace. Respect them. Value their input. When you have questions about a friend or questions about a belief or questions about dating or questions about anything, listen, your mom and dad have a lot of wisdom that you have no idea how much that is. Value their input.
Don't think that you know more than them. Value their wisdom, love them, don't disrespect them, don't talk bad about them to your friends. Recognize their value in your life. See them as wise and someone you can learn from, and forgive them.
So, when we think about this fifth commandment, I think it's easier for us to look at it from a young children. What does that even look like for all of us that are out of the house? We have our own families. And what do we do? My parents are still living.
Abby's parents are still living. What does that look like for us, for us to honor them? For grown children, here's just a few things. Ask your parents for wisdom. I still call my dad every time I have a big decision here, and I'm grateful for that.
Ask your parents, go back to them. Listen, if you're from out of town, go home to visit them. I talk to grandparents in our church all the time. That is so important to them when you come home to say hey to them and visit them. Do it.
It shows them honor. provide adequate care for them. And if you're not able to do it. Make sure that it is provided for them. I'll tell you, as a young pastor watching this, my parents are healthy, Abby's parents are healthy.
But what's amazing to me is I've learned anything while I'm in this role. It's walking through family after family after family. I'll tell you this much. I am so Inspired and encouraged by the amount of families in our church. who literally are giving their life morning to night to take care of their mom and dad because they can't take care of themselves anymore.
That is honor. That is honor. And I commend you if you're in that world. Keep going. I know the days are long and I know the nights are hard.
Because we walk through that with different people, and I listen to them, and I can't fully empathize with it because. I've not been there. But I'll tell you this, it's honorable. Stay at it. Go back to visit them.
And then, also, if you're in here, forgive your mom and dad. If you're an older and you're still harboring things over your parents, forgive them. They're flawed just like the rest of us. They're sinners, saved by the grace of God, hopefully, and they're flawed. They're not going to get it right every time.
They're not.
So show them the same amount of grace you expect for them to show you. Let's honor Fear and obey. Mom and Dad, for this is the fifth. Mm-hmm.
