Audio on demand from Vision Christian Media to introduce his message, How Can I Help My Family?
Dr. Darrell Bock That's right. We'll get to them in just a moment, but first, we begin this new week with anticipation of all that's going on. So many things changing in so much unexperienced territory for most of us, but God is with us and he's helping us and we're acknowledging our dependence upon him perhaps more than ever before. During the month of September, we want to encourage your support of Turning Point Radio by making available to you a beautiful production from the Turning Point Creative staff called Colors of Creation. It's our 2021 calendar made available in September because it's a 14-month calendar. It begins in November, carries you all the way through the following year. As the calendar begins in 2021, printed each day is a Bible reading schedule that if you stay on that, you'll read the Bible through in a year.
You can check it off as you go along. The calendar is large enough so that the space for each day is large enough for you to put in your appointments and it's especially useful because November and December are busy months as you face the end of the year and these are included. And we offer it in September because it's just the greatest way for us to get it to you so you have it and you're ready to use it and I think you'll find it very instructive and very helpful and it is beautiful.
Colors of Creation, that says it. All these beautiful colors on every page on every month, there's a beautiful display of color and I'd love to send this calendar to you. Here's how you get your copy. Just send a gift of any size to Turning Point during the month of September.
That's all you have to do. Enclose your gift and when you do, ask in your letter for the calendar. It will be shipped to you. It will come to you. It's a pretty large calendar.
You'll see it coming and you'll have the excitement of opening it and putting it in your office or in the kitchen or in the den or wherever you have a place on the wall for something beautiful, you'll want to place this calendar. Well, let's get started in this discussion of family. Everybody is interested in the family no matter who we are. We are either looking forward to a family, we're in the midst of family life or where family has grown and we're praying for them every day. Let's find out how we can help them as we open our Bibles together. It's kind of interesting to jump back from Psalm 127 and look at the last couple of verses of Psalm 126 because here's an overarching principle that really does affect the family. It says, those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.
He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing sheaves with him. It's a reminder to us that in all of life, the principle of sowing and reaping is in vogue and in our families, that's true, isn't it? What happens in our family has a lot to do with what input we give.
And unfortunately, many of us try every modern approach to family life only to discover that while it may fix one part of the family, it ends up messing up all the rest of the family. Well, God has a better idea. And in case you're a little bit skeptical about listening to something from the Bible on the family, could I remind you that the family is God's idea? In fact, it's God's primary idea. The church was God's idea too, but the family was God's idea long before the church. Civil government, that came from the mind of God too, but long before there was civil government, God thought of the family. In fact, if you go by its place in the word of God, apart from human life itself, the family is one of God's first great ideas for us in this universe. In the very beginning of the Bible, God looked at man alone and he said, it is not good that man should be alone.
And he brought a woman to him and family began. So if God had the idea about the family, doesn't it make a little bit of sense to you that maybe he might have something to say about how we could make it work, how it should work? And I'll tell you what, not only here in the Psalms, but throughout all of the Bible, God has some incredible truth for those who are willing to dig for it, to help us build families that will bring honor and glory to his name. Now, there are four principles that I want you to see in Psalm 127.
We will barely get to Psalm 128, but they're connected and I want to show you some things there if I have time. The first thing I want you to note about building your family and helping your family, principle number one is that if you're going to be successful, you have to place God at the head of your home. Notice what the Psalmist says, unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. This Psalm begins with the most important truth in building a home. It says, unless the Lord builds it, it isn't going to work.
It is a truth that is so simple in saying, but so challenging in doing. This verse is teaching us that there is only one builder in the home and that builder is God. There is only one architect for the home. God who had the idea of the home is the one who wants to be at the head of the home. Men and women, until you put God at the center of your home, all of your attempts to try to make family life what you want it to be will be attempts in frustration and that's what the Psalm says.
Unless you let him build the home, you're going to do it in vain, which means you're going to go through a lot of frustration and experience a lot of emptiness and get down the road and think this is it and only discover. How many people do you know that thought that if they could just get all the things that their family wanted, that their family then would be a good strong family and everything would be together? How many kids do you know, maybe some of them hang out with you, some of them are at your place trying to get in on the family life you have because they've got so many things but they've got no family and there's no one there and that's not God's plan, you see. If God's plan was that family life was how much stuff you had, then very few of us would even be candidates, would we? We would be stuck where we are. No, God has a better plan.
God says that he wants to be the head of your home. Now I want to take just a moment and debunk that if I might because some of you are saying, you know, there's no way I'm going to install halos on my kids. They wouldn't look right. They wouldn't fit.
It's not going to work. We're not going to say Bible verses like mantras around home. We don't have plaques up in every room that says God is the head of this house and little verses and we don't have a promise box at the breakfast table. Is that what it means to put God as the head of your home?
Isn't it interesting how we get stuck on all the externals? We focus on all the little trinkets of the family. I'd just like to give you a testimony of my family growing up days. I knew that God was central in the home I grew up in but I got to tell you something. It wasn't because of a lot of the things that we might focus on. You know, when I think back on my growing up days, I didn't know God was at the head of my home because we read the Bible after dinner at night.
In fact, I got to tell you a lot of those times were very forgettable, very forgettable. That doesn't mean that it's not important to do that. It just means that that's not the issue. It wasn't even the fact that my parents were involved in institutional ministry. The thing, as I look back on it, that's very incredibly clear to me is this. It's a very simple thought and that is that God was very important to my parents. That God was very important to them. That somehow in all the stuff we did and everything we're involved in, he always was there as a part of the picture. Most of the time he was the centerpiece but wherever he was, he was a part of our family. As I grew up, I couldn't escape that. It wasn't that my mom and dad preached at me all the time but it was the sense that I had that in our family life, God was important. Is God important in your home?
Is he sort of a matter of convenience maybe? You see, we communicate our values where they really are. You can't fake it with kids.
Can I get a witness? You can't fake it with kids. They know. You can try to make them believe that God's important but it's not going to get through unless he really is so maybe the best thing we could do before we install God at the head of our home is install him at the head of our life and then ask him to live that out little by little in our families.
Enough said about that. I think we know that to be true. Family isn't going to work unless God is at the head of the home but I want you to notice this next principle which is pretty incredible in my way of thinking because it's so contemporary. Principle number two says that if you're going to have a home that really makes a difference, you have to put parenting at the top of your priority list. Now notice what the psalmist says. Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. First thing I wrote down in my notes is that God agrees with what I've always suspected and that is that being a parent is labor.
Can I get a witness to that? Ladies, you thought it started at the beginning of labor pains and stopped when the child was born. No, it continues throughout all of life and it isn't very nice of you to include us in it either.
We thought we were free from all of this. Being a parent is labor. Say it. Being a parent is labor. It's hard work. It's such an incredibly simple concept but it is losing its value in our culture today because parenting is being pushed over on the edge while moms and dads pursue their professional goals and purposes in life and parenting is getting a lick and a promise and we can't figure out what's gone wrong in our families. I want to tell you something that unless you are willing to work at being a parent, God's the architect but he needs laborers and there are two laborers in most homes. In some homes, there's just one laborer. There's a single parent listening to me right now who's thinking, boy, you think it's work trying to do it with two of you.
You ought to try doing it with just one. But God is saying to us that while he's given us the plan, he's the architect, he's the builder, we're the laborers and we've got to put in the time and make parenting important or it won't work. Wherever I go to speak or especially if I'm with pastors, we have a question and answer time. One of the first questions they always ask and I've just gotten prepared for it so I thought I'd better get an answer is can you tell us a little bit about your priorities? Well you know, priorities are important because they govern your life and it's one thing to talk about your priorities, it's another thing to put your priorities into perspective and put them into operation and then live by them. I remember going away and getting some time alone with the Lord and really sitting down and trying to crystallize some years back, okay Jeremiah, what are your priorities? And I'll tell you it's one of the most important times I've ever spent in my life because I believe that with what God has done here in this place, apart from a clear understanding in my mind and yet I struggle with these all the time but a clear understanding of what my priorities are, I would be making a lot of really bad decisions right now.
So let me tell you what they are. They don't necessarily have to be yours but most of us are going to fall into the pattern of these priorities. Number one, I'm a person and I better take care of my personal relationship with God. God's number one. In fact, he says he must be number one. He's a jealous God.
He doesn't want anybody in between me and him. He's number one in my life. And so I have to cultivate that relationship. I have to spend time with God. I have to make God number one. Secondly, I'm a partner and I've got a wife, a wonderfully, wonderfully good wife. God is first, Donna second. Thirdly, I'm a parent and I've got children, four of them. And they're the most important thing in my life outside of God and Donna. And every day of my life, I have to fight to preserve that priority because you see, when I'm at a football game, I'm not at three or four other places where people think I should be. Or if I'm at a dinner sometime, I've said no to other things. And you know, there's an awful lot of pressure and a lot of expectations about what you should be doing with your life.
But I want to tell you as best as I know how to tell you that my children are third in my life and the only thing ahead of them is God and Donna. I had it tested when I was invited to speak at a convention up at Arrowhead Springs. I was asked to go and speak to a group of 450 women at a women's Bible study. We agreed that was an opportunity that I should take.
They wanted me to teach the life of David and I had just preached through the life of David. So we went, you know, we had this thing all scheduled out way out in the future. I knew the basketball season was over. I don't schedule anything during basketball season that conflicts with the ball games if I can help it. Not anything during football season.
So I was so excited, you know, this thing is out here in March. Well, then our wonderful basketball team got good about halfway through the year. And they started getting better and better. They started winning and they won and they won and they won. They got in the playoffs and they kept winning and I kept looking at this date that was over here.
And we kept getting closer and closer to the date. And would you believe I was scheduled to be at Arrowhead Springs from Thursday through Saturday and our guys won all their games and were supposed to play for the city championship on Saturday morning at 10 o'clock in the sports arena. And I'm supposed to be at Arrowhead Springs.
You got to be kidding. Well, I'll tell you, I got up to Arrowhead Springs and we told them that we'd speak anytime they wanted us on Thursday and however many times they wanted us on Friday, but we were coming home on Saturday. I'll never forget this. We got to Arrowhead Springs, went into that beautiful hotel up there, which is the Campus Crusade headquarters. And there was a lady who came through the lobby and she said, are you Dr. Jeremiah? And I said, yes. Oh, she said, we're so glad you're here. And she said, let me just tell you right up front, we're so glad you're not staying for Saturday. I thought this poor lady hadn't even heard me speak yet and she's already made up her mind. And then she said something I will never forget. She said, what you don't understand and she smiled is that we are all wives of executive husbands.
They fund this ministry so that we can do what we do with Bible study. And she said, it's just so incredibly encouraging to see somebody in a position of leadership make a decision in favor of their family. During the afternoon, I'll never forget this, it was one of the last sessions and a lady got up and she ran out of the building. She had tears coming down her face and you know, let me just make this momentary announcement. That's really unnerving to a speaker.
You know, if you feel the urge that you just have to get out of here and it's really life-threatening, you know, go for it. But when I see you leave, especially if you look like you're troubled, my mind cycles back over everything I've said for the last five minutes. Well, that happened and I went to the director of the conference and I mentioned this lady who had left and I said, could you please see if I might've said something that offended her? She came back to me later. She said, pastor, don't worry about it. She didn't offend her. She had heard about what you were doing because we had to announce that you weren't going to be here on Saturday and you weren't even talking about it. But while she was seated in the meeting, it really became a matter of great concern to her. Her daughter was playing for the state championship in Denver, Colorado on Saturday and she got under such conviction she got up out of the meeting, went and packed all her duds, got on the next plane and went home. What are we talking about? We're talking about putting our children in a place where once in a while they understand that they're important, making parenting a priority.
I want to tell you something. If we didn't do anything else with our life, making parenting a priority is pretty much a full-time task. Number three, keep reading in your Bibles.
Principle number three is protect your family from destructive influences. Verse two changes the metaphor just a bit. It says, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early to sit up late unless the Lord guards the city.
The watchman stays awake in vain. We've been in the family building business. We've seen the family get built like you build a house. Now we have a picture of a city that is a protection for its people. The writer of the Psalms changes the picture and he says, unless the Lord keeps the city, the people who try to keep it are doing it in vain. He's still talking about the family.
That's evident. And what he's talking about is the fact that while it is important for us to come to God and let him be the builder of our families, when our families are built, we have to come back to God and ask him to help us be the watchman over our families. And it's a picture of a parent looking out over his family and protecting it and watching out for it.
Boy, if there's ever been a day when we needed to do that, this is the day. Now the interesting thing here is that the psalmist once again puts us in partnership with God. Just as there's one builder and two laborers and we're working together on the same project, there's one who is the watchman, but we're to be watchmen with him. You see it? Unless the watchman who is the Lord is working, then we who are also watching aren't going to understand it. So what the psalmist is saying is we're in partnership with God in building our homes and we're in partnership with God in protecting our homes.
Are you with me? There's a man who has written a great deal about the family and I come to love his writings. His name is Steve Farrar. Maybe you've seen some of his books. He said, rather indelicately, I don't let my children watch network TV for the same reason I don't let them drink out of the toilet. Now I probably would have said that a little differently than he said it, but he got his point across, right? I understand the necessity of work and God knows if that's something you have to do to make ends meet, that's one thing, but if you're doing it to live at another standard of living, it's a foolish decision because you're giving up your children for more toys.
What a trade. What God is trying to help us understand is this, that we not only have to build our homes, once we build them, we have to stand over them and be protecting of them, care about them. I want to share this with you because I think it's a very practical hands-on sort of thing. If you're in partnership with God in protecting your family, how do you do it? Well, how do you do anything in partnership with God? It ultimately involves prayer.
Read an article written by Suzanne Fields in which she talked about this whole matter of praying, how important it is for couples to pray for their children. Right after that, I had been given a book by Patrick Morley. It's called Man in the Mirror.
It's got articles about the kinds of things that we struggle with as men, articles about children and about our relationship with our wife and how we deal with our jobs and how we deal with our money and all the temptations that come as a part of our maleness. Patrick Morley, in his book, talked about seven couples who were all new Christians who started to meet in a prayer group and the result of their prayers are so dramatic that he said, I verified their story personally. These couples were naive new Christians and they discovered when they met for the first time that they all had something in common and that is that they all had children who were not saved, in fact a total of 23 of them. Someone brought a verse to their first Bible study that said this, believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved and your household. Acts 16, 33, they took it as a promise from God that God was going to save all their kids and they started to meet together, all of them, and they began to pray for the 23 children who God had given them who were outside of Christ. And each week as they faithfully prayed for these children, over the course of two years, all 23 kids committed their lives to Christ. Wow. What a story that is. Do you believe God is able to do that?
I do. And we often get what we ask for. The Bible says we have not because we ask not. And maybe you've done everything that you know how to do to bring your child to Christ, but let me ask you this, have you prayed for them?
Have you prayed earnestly for their salvation? What a good way for us to end this first part of our message on the family. And let me remind you that the material that we're talking about is organized for you in a study guide called God I Need Some Answers. All of these pertinent questions that we're dealing with are here. There's a space at the front of each chapter where you have a little outline that follows what we've been talking about, kind of a condensed version of my teaching.
Following that, there's some pages for application for you to write in and to look up. There's a did you know section at the end of each chapter. It's a great little tool for you to review what you've been listening to and for group study. Ask about it when you call or write today.
We'll see you tomorrow. For more information on Dr. Jeremiah's current series, God I Need Some Answers, please visit our website where we offer two free ways to help you stay connected, our monthly magazine Turning Points and our daily email devotional. Sign up today at davidjeremiah.org forward slash radio. That's davidjeremiah.org forward slash radio. Now when you do, ask for your copy of our 14 month 2021 calendar, Colors of Creation. It highlights God's breathtaking handiwork and it's yours for a gift of any amount.
You can also purchase the Jeremiah Study Bible in the English Standard and New International versions, as well as in standard or large print in the New King James. With helpful notes from over 40 years of study by Dr. Jeremiah. Visit davidjeremiah.org forward slash radio for details.
I'm Gary Hookefleet. Join us tomorrow as we continue God I Need Some Answers. That's here on Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah. Thanks for taking time to listen to this audio on demand from Vision Christian Media. To find out more about us, go to vision.org.au.
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