God knew from the beginning that it wasn't good for man to be alone.
So he gave man a partner and created the family. Today, on Turning Point, Dr. David Jeremiah examines this God-given gift of the family and offers some proven tools from Scripture to help you serve and strengthen your own. From God I need some answers, here's David to introduce his message, how can I help my family?
Well, there are two Psalms that deal with the subject of the family, Psalm 127 and 128. If you find your Bible there close by, you might want to turn to those Psalms today. We're going to talk about How to help your family. No one enters into family life intending to be regretful Or discouraged twenty years later, but it happens, and it happens a lot, and it happens among Christians. Business, conflict can take their toll.
Following God's principles for family life is the only safe way to proceed. And we're going to learn some very important things about that in these next two days as we open our Bibles and talk about this question, how can I help my family? Did you know that Turning Point has a ministry to help you? And your family is called Turning Points Magazine and Devotional. It comes to your home every month, filled with scriptural truth, devotions for every day, Monday through Friday, and a special one for each weekend, and then articles that are written to add value to your Christian life and give you perspective on how to live for God.
This magazine is specifically geared toward the healthy soul. Helping you Keep your soul right with God. And I hope that you get this magazine. If you don't, I hope you will get it. Simply ask for it when you get in touch with us.
Just say, please send me the magazine, and it'll be on its way to you as soon as it comes off the press. The next issue we can get to you will be in your hands soon. It is a wonderful asset and a wonderful, wonderful tool for walking with the Lord. Take advantage of it as you have opportunity.
Well Here's part one of this. Intriguing Message from Psalms How can I help my family? It's kind of interesting to jump back from Psalm 127 and look at the last couple of verses of Psalm 126 because here's an overarching principle that really does affect the family. It says, Those who sow in tears. shall reap in joy.
He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing sheaves with him. It's a reminder to us that. In all of life, the principle of sowing and reaping is in vogue. In our families, that's true, isn't it? What happens in our family has a lot to do with what input we give.
And unfortunately, many of us try every modern approach to family life. Only to discover that while it may fix one part of the family, it ends up messing up all the rest of the family.
Well, God has a better idea. And in case you're a little bit skeptical about listening to something from the Bible on the family, Could I remind you that the family is God's idea? In fact, it's God's primary idea. The church was God's idea too, but the family was God's idea long before the church. Civil government, that came from the mind of God too, but long before there was civil government, God thought of the family.
In fact, If you go by its place in the Word of God, Apart from human life itself, The family is one of God's first great ideas for us in this universe. in the very beginning of the Bible. God looked at man alone and He said, It is not good. that man should be alone. And he brought a woman to him.
and family began.
So, if God had the idea about the family, doesn't it make a little bit of sense to you that maybe He might have something to say about how we could make it work? How it should work. And I'll tell you what, not only here in the Psalms, but throughout all of the Bible, God has some incredible truth for those who are willing to dig for it. to help us build families. that will bring honor and glory to his name.
Now, there are four principles that I want you to see in Psalm 127. We will barely get to Psalm 128, but they're connected, and I want to show you some things there if I have time. The first thing I want you to note about Building your family and helping your family, principle number one is That if you're going to be successful, you have to place God at the head of your home. Notice what the psalmist says: unless the Lord builds the house. They labor in vain.
Who built it? This psalm begins with the most important truth in building a home. It says, unless the Lord builds it, It isn't going to work. It is a truth that is so simple in saying but so challenging in doing. This verse is teaching us that there is only one builder in the home, and that builder.
is God. There is only one architect for the home. God, who had the idea of the home, is the one who wants to be at the head of the home. And men and women, until you put God at the center of your home. All of your attempts to try to make family life what you want it to be.
Will be attempts in frustration. And that's what the Psalm says. Unless you let him build the home, you're going to do it in vain, which means you're going to go through a lot of frustration and experience a lot of emptiness and get down the road and think this is it. How many people do you know that thought that if they could just get all the things that their family wanted? That their family then would be a good, strong family, and everything would be together.
And how many kids do you know maybe some of them hang out with you?
Some of them are at your place trying to get in on the family life you have because they've got so many things, but they've got no family. And there's no one there. And that's not God's plan, you see. If God's plan was that family life was how much stuff you had. Then very few of us would even be candidates, would we?
we would be stuck where we are. No, God has a better plan. God says. That he wants to be the head. of your home.
Yeah.
Now I want to take just a moment and debunk that, if I might. Because some of you are saying, you know. There's no way I'm going to install halos on my kids. They wouldn't look right. They wouldn't fit.
It's not going to work. We're not going to say Bible verses like mantras around home. We don't have plaques up in every room. That says God is the head of this house, and little verses, and we don't have a promise box at the breakfast table. Is that what it means to put God?
At the head of your home. Isn't it interesting how we get stuck on all the externals? We focus on all the little trinkets of the family. I'd just like to give you a testimony. of my family growing up days.
I knew that God was central in the home I grew up in. But I got to tell you something, it wasn't because of a lot of the things that we might focus on. You know, when I think back on my growing up days, I didn't know God was at the head of my home because we read the Bible after dinner at night. In fact, I got to tell you, a lot of those times were very forgettable, very forgettable. And that doesn't mean that it's not important to do that.
It just means that that's not the issue. It wasn't even the fact that my parents were involved in institutional ministry. The thing, as I look back on it, that's very incredibly clear to me is this: it's a very simple thought. And that is that God was very important. to my parents.
That God was very important to them. That somehow, in all the stuff we did and everything we're involved in, he always was there as a part. of the picture. Most of the time he was the centerpiece. But wherever he was, he was a part.
of our family. And as I grew up, I couldn't escape that. It wasn't that my mom and dad preached at me all the time, but it was the sense that I had that in our family life, God was important. Is God important? In your home.
Is he sort of a Matter of convenience, maybe. You see, We communicate our values where they really are. You can't fake it with kids. Can I get a witness? You can't fake it with kids.
They know. You can try to make them believe that God's important. But it's not going to get through unless He really is.
So maybe the best thing we could do before we install God at the head of our home is install Him at the head of our life. And then ask him to live that out little by little in our families. Enough said about that. I think we know that to be true. Family isn't going to work unless God.
is at the head of the home. But I want you to notice this next principle, which is pretty incredible in my way of thinking because it's so contemporary. Principle number two says that if you're going to have a home that really makes a difference, you have to put parenting at the top of your priority list.
Now, notice what the psalmist says. Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. The first thing I wrote down in my notes is that God agrees with what I've always suspected, and that is that being a parent is labor. Can I get a witness to that? Ladies, you thought it started at the beginning of labor pains and stopped when the child was born?
No, it continues throughout all of life. And it isn't very nice of you to include us in it either. We thought we were free from all of this. Being a parent is labor. It's hard.
Work. It's such an incredibly simple concept. But it is losing its value in our culture today. Because parenting is being pushed over on the edge while moms and dads pursue their professional goals and purposes in life and parenting is getting a lick in a promise and we can't figure out what's gone wrong in our families. I want to tell you something that, unless you are willing to work at being a parent.
God's the architect, but he needs laborers. And there are two laborers in most homes. In some homes, there's just one laborer. There's a single parent listening to me right now who's thinking, boy, you think it's work trying to do it with two of you. You ought to try doing it with just one.
But God is saying to us that while He's given us the plan, He's the architect, he's the builder, we're the laborers, and we've got to put in the time and make parenting important, or it won't work. Wherever I go to speak, or especially if I'm with pastors. We have a question and answer time. One of the first questions they always ask, and I just gotten prepared for it, so I thought I better get an answer. is can you tell us a little bit about your priorities?
Well, you know Priorities are important because they govern your life. And it's one thing to talk about your priorities. It's another thing to put your priorities into perspective and put them into operation and then live by them. I remember going away and getting some time alone with the Lord and really sitting down and trying to crystallize some years back.
Okay, Jeremiah, what are your priorities? And I'll tell you, it's one of the most important times I've ever spent in my life because I believe that with what God has done here in this place. Apart from a clear understanding in my mind, and yet I struggle with these all the time, but a clear understanding of what my priorities are. I would be making a lot of really bad decisions right now.
So let me tell you what they are. They don't necessarily have to be yours, but most of us are going to fall into the pattern of these priorities. Number one, I'm a person. And I better take care of my personal relationship with God. God's number one.
In fact, he says he must be number one. He's a jealous God. He doesn't want anybody in between me and him. He's number one in my life. And so I have to cultivate that relationship.
I have to spend time with God. I have to make God number one. Secondly, I'm a partner. And I've got a wife. a wonderfully wonderfully good wife.
God is first. Donna second. Thirdly, I'm a parent. and have got children. Four of them.
And there The most important thing in my life outside of God And Donna. And every day of my life, I have to fight to preserve. that priority. Because you see, when I'm at a football game, I'm not at three or four other places where people think I should be. Or if I'm at a dinner sometime, I've said no to other things, and you know, there's an awful lot of pressure.
and a lot of expectations about what you should be doing with your life. But I want to tell you, as best as I know how to tell you. that my children are third in my life. The only thing ahead of them Is God And Donna. I had it tested when I was invited to speak at a convention up at Arrowhead Springs.
I was asked to go and speak to a group of 450 women. at a women's Bible study. We agreed that was an opportunity that I should take. They wanted me to teach the life of David, and I had just preached through the life of David, so we went. You know, we had this thing all scheduled out way out in the future.
I knew the basketball season was over. I don't schedule anything during basketball season that conflicts with the ball games if I can help it, not anything during football season.
So I was so excited, you know, this thing is out here in March.
Well, then our wonderful basketball team got good about halfway through the year. And they started getting better and better. They started winning, and they won and they won and they won. They got in the playoffs, and they kept winning. And I kept looking at this date that was over here.
And we kept getting closer and closer to the date. And would you believe? I was scheduled to be at Arrowhead Springs from Thursday through Saturday, and our guys won all their games and were supposed to play for the city championship on Saturday morning at 10 o'clock in the sports arena. And I'm supposed to be at Arrowhead Springs. You got to be kidding.
Well, I'll tell you, I got up to Arrowhead Springs and told them that we'd speak anytime they wanted us on Thursday and however many times they wanted us on Friday, but we were coming home on Saturday. I'll never forget this. We got there at Springs. We went into that beautiful hotel up there, which is the Campus Crusade headquarters, and there was a lady who came through the lobby and she said, Are you Dr. Jeremiah?
And I said, Yes. Oh, she said, We're so glad you're here. And she said, Let me just tell you right up front, we're so glad you're not staying for Saturday. I thought this poor lady hadn't even heard me speak yet, and she's already made up her mind. And then she said something I will never forget.
She said, What you don't understand, and she smiled. Is that we are all wives of executive husbands. They fund this ministry so that we can do what we do with Bible study. And she said, it's just so incredibly encouraging to see somebody in a position of leadership make a decision in favor of their family. During the afternoon, I'll never forget this.
It was one of the last sessions, and a lady got up and she ran out of the building. She had tears coming down her face. And, you know, let me just make this momentary announcement. That's really unnerving to a speaker. You know, if you feel the urge that you just have to get out of here and it's really life-threatening, you know, go for it.
But when I see you leave, especially if you look like you're troubled, my mind cycles back over everything I've said for the last five minutes.
Well, that happened, and I went to the director of the conference and I mentioned this lady who had left, and I said, Could you please see if I might have said something that offended her? She came back to me later. She said, Pastor, don't worry about it. She didn't offend her. She had heard about what you were doing because we had to announce that you were going to be here on Saturday, and you weren't even talking about it, but while she was seated in the meeting, It really became A matter of great concern to her.
Her daughter was playing for the state championship in Denver, Colorado on Saturday. And she got under such conviction She got up out of the meeting, went and packed all her duds, got on the next plane and went home. What are we talking about? We're talking about putting our children in a place where once in a while They understand. that they're important.
Making parenting a priority. I want to tell you something. If we didn't do anything else with our life, Making parenting a priority. It's pretty much a full-time task. Amen.
Amen. Number three. Keep reading in your Bibles. Principle number three. Is protect your family from destructive influences.
Verse 2 changes the metaphor just a bit. It says The watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, unless the Lord guards the city. The watchman stays awake in vain. We've been in the family building business.
We've seen the family get built like you build a house.
Now we have a picture of a city that is a protection for its people. And the writer of the Psalms changes the picture and he says: unless the Lord keeps the city, The people who try to keep it are doing it in vain. And he's still talking about the family, that's evident. And what he's talking about is the fact that while it is important for us to come to God and let him be the builder of our families, when our families are built, we have to come back to God and ask Him to help us be the watchman over our families. And it's a picture of a parent looking out over his family and protecting it and watching out for it.
Boy, if there's ever been a day When we needed to do that, This is the day.
Now, the interesting thing here is that the psalmist once again puts us in partnership with God. Just as there's one builder and two laborers, and we're working together on the same project, there's one who is the watchman, but we're to be watchmen with Him. You see it? Unless the watchman who is the Lord is working, then we who are also watching aren't going to understand it.
So, what the Psalmist is saying is: we're in partnership with God in building our homes, and we're in partnership with God in protecting our homes. Are you with me? There's a man who has written A great deal about the family, and I come to love his writings. His name is Steve Farrar. Maybe you've seen some of his books.
He said rather indelicately, I don't let my children watch network TV for the same reason I don't let them drink out of the toilet.
Okay.
Now, I probably would have said that a little differently than he said it, but he got his point across, right? I understand the necessity of work. And God knows if that's something you have to do. To make ends meet, that's one thing, but if you're doing it to live at another standard of living, it's a foolish decision. Because you're giving up your children for more toys.
What a trade. And what God is trying to help us understand is this: that we not only have to build our homes. Once we build them, we have to stand over them and be protecting of them. Care about them. I want to share this with you because I think it's a very practical, hands-on sort of thing.
If you're in partnership with God in protecting your family, how do you do it?
Well, how do you do anything in partnership with God? It ultimately involves prayer. read an article written by Suzanne Fields. in which he talked about this whole matter of praying. how important it is for couples to pray for their children.
And right after that, I had been given a book by Patrick Morley. It's called Man in the Mirror. It's got articles about the kinds of things that we struggle with as men. Articles about children and about our relationship with our wife, and how we deal with our jobs, and how we deal with our money, and all the temptations that come as a part of our maleness. Patrick Morley, in his book, talked about seven couples who were all new Christians who started to meet in a prayer group, and the result of their prayers are so dramatic that he said, I verified their story personally.
These Couples were naive new Christians, and they discovered when they met for the first time that they all had something in common. And that is that they all had children who were not saved, in fact, a total of 23 of them.
Someone brought a verse to their first Bible study that said this: Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved and your household. Acts 16:33, they took it as a promise from God that God was going to save all their kids. And they started to meet together, all of them. And they began to pray for the 23 children who God had given them who were outside of Christ. And each week, as they faithfully prayed for these children, Over the course of two years, all 23 kids committed their lives to Christ.
In a Denver Crusade, Dr. Billy Graham. Spoke about this verse of Scripture in Acts, and he said that they had learned through their own study that in homes where the Father came to faith in Christ first, the entire family came to faith in 60% of situations. Where the wife came first, it was 40 to 50. Where the children came first, 25% of them saw their entire family become Christians.
Now, what does that say? That if you want the families of America to be changed, you've got to change the fathers because they have the greatest influence in the home in bringing others to faith. The way that this is all going to change in our families, in our partnership with God, in the protection of our home, is through prayer. You know one of the Big surprises most people have is when they examine the population of many churches, they find very few men, multitudes of women, but men are in the minority. I'm happy to tell you that in the church that I pastor every Tuesday night we have a men's Bible study that has about 450 men in it.
It is quite the thing to be a part of. Seated at tables around the Generations building, we have a speaker and we discuss the Word of God and pray for each other and encourage ourselves in the Lord and we encourage one another in the family. Never has there been a need for that more than there is today when the disintegration of families seems to be so rampant. Here in the Bible, we have some hope and some help for our families. And I'm glad you have been listening because we've been sharing those things and we'll continue tomorrow.
In the next edition of Turning Point to add to these wonderful truths about the family. I hope you'll join us then. I'm David Jeremiah. Thank you for listening. For more information on Dr.
Jeremiah's series, God I Need Some Answers, please visit our website where we also offer two free ways to help you stay connected, our monthly magazine Turning Points and our daily email devotional. Sign up today at davidjeremiah.org slash radio. That's davidjeremiah.org slash radio or call us at 800-947-1993. Ask for your copy of David's new book, Five Psalms, for a flourishing life. It'll help you abide with God and it's yours for a gift of any amount.
You can also purchase the Jeremiah Study Bible in the English Standard, New International and New King James Versions, available in your choice of attractive cover options. Get all the details when you visit our website, davidjeremiah.org/slash radio. This is David Michael Jeremiah. Join us tomorrow as we continue God, I need some answers on Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah.
