When you've hurt someone, you might feel regret, but stop short of repenting. When you've been hurt, it's easier to forget than to forgive. Today, on Turning Point, Dr. David Jeremiah looks at those distinctions, which are at the heart of the lessons we learned from the story of Joseph. From God Meant It for Good, The Story of Joseph.
Here's David with the conclusion of his message. God's method for melting hard hearts. And thank you for joining us. We're in the midst of this intriguing story from the 42nd chapter of Genesis. And uh we're reminded that God has His methods.
He does indeed. We may be hard-hearted, but God knows how to melt us down, and He does that with the brothers of Joseph in an intriguing way. We're in the midst of the story. You don't want to miss what's coming up next on today's program. Today, we are also reminding you of the opportunity to get a very beautiful, beautiful wall calendar.
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I do like to do that and I like to see my calendar in front of me, be able to turn the pages. One at a time and look and see where I'm going and where I've been. And I think that's one of the beauties of a wall calendar. It just helps you to see life in a bigger picture. And we want you to have this beautiful calendar.
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It will add value to your life, I am sure. You'll want to put it up in a prominent place, and you'll refer to it often in these next months. Again, following in His footsteps, the 2026 calendar from Turning Point. Yours for the asking when you send your gift today. Here's part two of God's Method for Melting Hard Hearts.
When Joseph spoke to his brothers, he did so in Egyptian. using an interpreter. He didn't appear to understand their language, which would also have contributed to their failure to recognize him. In addition, Joseph's authority would have surprised his brothers. The last they knew, Joseph was on a camel train as a slave.
Who would have thought that in a short period of time their brother would rise from slavery to the second most powerful position in Egypt? They never expected to see Joseph in such a position. It was unbelievable, unthinkable to them. And the scripture also tells us that Joseph was involved in a bit of acting. The original language tells us that Joseph made himself unrecognizable.
to his brothers. He play acted. And finally, His attitude toward them was different. The text says he spoke roughly to them. Why did he disguise himself?
Why keep his identity from them and hold off a grand reunion? I think there are a number of explanations. First of all, Some have suggested that Joseph used a rough treatment. in order to keep his own emotions under control. Perhaps he hid behind a gruff exterior to keep his own heart from breaking at the sight of his own flesh and blood appearing before him.
That day. Others have proposed that Joseph was acting by inspiration. remembering his dreams about his brothers bowing before him. Perhaps the Lord restrained Joseph from revealing himself to his family. Still, others have put forth the idea that Joseph wanted to subject his brothers.
to the same opportunity to grow. as he had had.
So he put them through a bitter experience to purge them from their wickedness. I've studied this passage more than once. And I think the reason Joseph disguised himself was to repeat for his brothers. the last experience they had together. Joseph had been sent to check up on his brothers, and his brothers accused him of spying, remember?
So he accused them of spying. And Joseph watched his brothers come and kneel down before him and accuses them of being spies. And they had thrown him into a pit.
So Joseph throws them into jail. Three times, Joseph accuses his brothers of being spies. And in their response to his second accusation, they reveal that their sin against Joseph is still very much. present with them. Genesis 42, 13, and they said, Your servants are twelve brothers.
The sons of one man in the land of Canaan, and in fact, the youngest is with our father. And one is no more. One is no more. This is still with them. This is still heavy on their hearts.
They can't forget what had happened.
Sometimes, when we are victims of the same treatment we give to others, God allows it to create in us a sensitivity to our own sin. Little by little, the brothers have a growing consciousness of their own sin. when they first came. They had basically forgotten their actions towards Joseph. But being accused of spying causes them to remember they had another brother.
one who was with them no more. and their evil actions toward Joseph creep back into their minds.
So there's the experience of difficulty. and the exclusion of trust. and the encounter with the past. And number four, The exile in prison. Beginning in verse 16 of chapter 42, we read, Joseph said, Send one of you and let him bring your brother.
and you shall be kept in prison, that your words may be tested to see whether there is any truth in you. or else by the life of Pharaoh, surely you are spies.
So he put them all together in prison for three days. Joseph said to them the third day, do this and live. For I fear God, if you are honest men, let one of your brothers be confined to your prison house, but you go and carry grain for the famine in your houses, and bring your youngest brother to me, so your words will be verified, and you shall not die. And they did so. First of all, God uses solitary confinement to break the hearts of these men.
Here they are away from home, walking through a strange land, listening to a language they didn't understand, had to understand through an interpreter, and Joseph accuses them of being spies. And puts them in the very prison where he had been for more than two long years, the same prison. It's not hard to imagine the conversations that took place in that prison. Because those men must have talked through everything they had done. Their treatment of Joseph was now in the forefront of their minds as they considered their situation.
On the third day, When Joseph brought them all out of prison, he offered them a chance for redemption. rather than insisting that they all stay, He made only one brother stay, while the rest went back to get Benjamin. Joseph must have been on the verge of breaking. emotionally as he went through this. They did not know him, but he knew them.
His compassion and his love for God are evident, but he didn't yet know if he could trust his brothers.
So he left. One in prison. And then we have number five, the exposure of the heart. Beginning in verse 21 of chapter 42, God is closing in. He's bringing about a sensitive heart.
He's melting the hardness of these brothers little by little. Every one of these things in this story is a part of the plot that came right from heaven. Here's what it says in verse 21. And they said to one another, We are truly guilty concerning our brother. Where's that been for 20 years?
We are truly guilty concerning our brother, for we saw the anguish of his soul when he pleaded with us. and we would not hear, therefore this distress has come upon us. And Reuben answered them, saying, Didn't I tell you? Remember, Reuben was the one who tried to talk them out of all of this way back in the beginning. Therefore, behold, his blood is now required of us.
Now here's the part that's intriguing. But they did not know that Joseph understood them. for he spoke to them through an interpreter. And he turned himself away from them and wept. Then he returned to them again and talked with them.
And he took Simeon from them and bound him before their eyes. The brothers were haunted by the memories of what they had done. While they came to Egypt almost having forgotten it, it is now the most important thing in their whole life. As front and center in their mind and in their conscience. They remember how they had overpowered their young brother and thrown him into a pit.
They recalled how they had ignored his cries for help. and is pleased for their father. They remembered the tears on Joseph's face. when they pulled him out of the pit and sold him to traders going to Egypt. And as they thought about all this, They felt more and more guilty and they said to each other We are really guilty in this matter.
no longer trying to excuse themselves. They've come to grips with what they've done. That's what God wants to happen in our lives. Till we come to grips with what we've done. That's sinful, we can't deal with it because confession is saying the same thing about your sin that God says.
And you can't confess your sin unless you recognize it. God isn't interested in your excuses and he doesn't listen to any of them. He wants you to say about what you've done. what you've really done. Joseph was in the room where they were having this conversation in Hebrew, admitting their own guilt.
And they thought that Joseph was an Egyptian and would not understand a word they were saying. But Joseph knew Hebrew. as well as they did. And as they talked with one another, Joseph took it all in and he heard everything they said. And the Bible says that he turned himself away from them and he wept.
And after he regained his composure, Joseph came back. He chose Simeon, tied him in the front of her brothers, and sent the rest back to Canaan.
Someone has written that God uses Three of heaven's hounds to break down the door of our secret sins. The first is their guilty conscience. The brothers said, we are truly guilty concerning our brother. All of a sudden the guilt that had been with them all these years became very manifest in their minds. Secondly, their memory is so vivid.
The memory is this, we saw the anguish of his soul when he pleaded with us and we would not hear. You just don't forget something like that. And a final reason, they said, therefore this distress has come upon us. How many of you know that when you're out of God's will, you tend to attribute every misfortune to God's punishment. You think God is bringing distress upon you because you're overwhelmingly guilty.
Isn't it terrible to carry unresolved guilt. Maybe some of you have that today. to have it buried in your heart. never addressed, constantly nagging at your soul. That's the situation these brothers found themselves in.
They had never confronted this issue. They had allowed it to grow in their hearts, even though it had been pushed back from the front of their heart. And after two decades, two decades. it became just as real as if it had happened the day before.
Now the next thing that happens is kind of Hard to understand in our culture today, but it's really biblical. And I want you to notice it's the expression of kindness. Verses 25 to 28, we read, Then Joseph gave a command to fill their sacks with grain. to restore every man's money to his sack, and to give them provisions for the journey. And thus he did for them, and so they loaded their donkeys with the grain and departed from there.
but as one of them opened his sack to give his donkey feed at the encampment, He saw his money. And there it was in the mouth of his sack.
So he said to his brothers, My money has been restored. And there it is in my sack. And then their hearts failed them, and they were afraid, saying to one another, What is this that God has done to us? The money in the brothers' sacks was a kind act from Joseph. who couldn't charge his own brothers for food.
He had every right to demand payment, but instead he offered them grain and gave them their money back. The brothers' guilty hearts twisted this kindness into something sinister. and when they stopped for the night, opened their sacks and found the money, they were frightened and these same men who sold their brother for twenty pieces of silver loathed the money they now had in their hands because their guilty consciences twisted a blessing into a curse. much like how we sometimes misinterpret God's goodness in our own lives. When you're out of the will of God, Even the good things seem bad.
Free money feels like a curse. When you're not walking with God, every circumstance is filtered through the lens of your guilt. Ultimately, this fear served a greater purpose. It began to soften their hearts. Leading them to recognize their past sins, and that's how God deals with us too.
And the Bible actually says that. Did you know that? In Romans 2:4, listen to these words. But you show contempt for the richness of his kindness, forbearance, and patience, not realizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance. It is God heaping coals of fire upon their head.
and they don't understand it. If you find yourself struggling with a hard heart. Or you know somebody who is. Genesis 42 is your chapter. Just as it took a series of incredible events for Joseph's brothers to begin to understand their wrongdoing and experience a change of heart.
Sometimes we have to endure those seasons as well. As we bring this story to a close, this incredible, remarkable. Encounter of Joseph and his brothers. I want to highlight two important things that I hope you will take home with you. These are things you should unpack in your heart.
First of all, The difference between regret and repentance. Did you know there's a difference between regret and repentance? Regret is feeling sorrow for something that has happened because of the consequences, or primarily because you got caught. Repentance goes deeper. It involves a genuine change of heart and a commitment to turn away from past wrongs.
Joseph understood this difference. He wanted his brothers to go beyond regret for their treacherous deeds to a place of genuine repentance. Through events he orchestrated, he aimed to bring them to conviction. You see, Regret is just being sorry for what happened. We run into that a lot when you run to school.
Did you know that? Kids get in trouble. They come to the office and you talk to them about what they did, and they're so sorry that they did it. But as you sit there and listen to them, you know they're not sorry for what they did. They're sorry they got caught.
That's regret. There's nothing wrong with regret, but that's only the first step. You've got to get beyond that. Because you see, repentance is a 180. Repentance is turning away from your sin and walking in the other direction.
That's what it means to repent. Don't ever confuse regret for repentance because regret won't do anything but give you a little peace until you do it again. Repentance is not only to say, I'm sorry for what I've done, but it's my determination not to do it again. The Bible says godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation. not to be regretted, but the sorrow of the world produces death.
The brothers had been living with regret for what they had done. but they had never confronted it through repentance. Therefore, they couldn't move forward. Maybe you're here today and you're the same way. You've done something, you regret you did it, but you've never repented of it.
You've never asked God to forgive you and told Him that you. We'll not do that again. and walked away from it instead of keeping it in the back of your mind.
So remember always there's a difference between regret and repentance. And then secondly, the difference between forgetting and forgiving. Have you ever had somebody come to you and say, well, I'll forgive you, but I'm never going to forget what you did. I guess that's possible, but probably not a very good kind of forgiveness. The story of Joseph is really a story of the temptations.
That comes to a man in the course of life. Just think of this. Joseph has overcome the temptation to despair. when his brothers Sell him as a slave. He's overcome the temptation to impurity.
which came to him by way of Potiphar's wife. He's overcome the temptation to become discouraged when he was forgotten by the butler. But perhaps the greatest temptation he would ever face was the temptation that was his because of his position and his power. to retaliate and get even with his brothers. For the awful thing they had done to him.
He was in a catbird position to pull that off. Would he truly restore and forgive them? Here's a little insight into what really happened. In Genesis 41, We learned that Joseph named his firstborn son Manasseh. And the word Manasseh means God has caused me to forget.
That's what the word Manasseh means.
So Joseph didn't just forgive. He forgot. He put it behind him. You know, when you forget something, that just means you choose not to remember it. It doesn't mean it goes out of your memory back.
I mean, it's always going to be there. You just choose not to dwell on it, and you put space between you and what happened. You don't remember it because you choose not to remember it.
Sometimes the separation from one who has hurt us. may enable us to forget them without forgiving them.
So that's the other side of the story. You can forgive. and say you're forgiving without forgetting. Or you can forget and not forgive. And you don't want to do either one of those.
It is forgiveness that leads to genuine restoration and reconciliation. Corey ten boom. was known for forgiving Nazi guards in Ravensbruck. She was one of those who suffered greatly. at the hand of the Nazis.
In her seventies, She was hurt by trusted Christian friends. Despite her past experiences, she found forgiving and very difficult. After weeks of inner turmoil, she prayed for God's help and eventually felt restored.
However, The issue surfaced. when she found herself dwelling on the incident at night. Ten Boom realized that forgiveness required more than words. It meant Living it out, treating the sins as if they were buried in the deepest sea, just like God does. That's what we should do.
Years later, when she was in her eighties, An American friend visited her in Holland And when they were discussing the way she had been hurt in the past, Ten Boom proudly declared she had forgiven the people involved. She offered to show proof of their wrongdoing through the letters that she had preserved of what they had done. Had she forgotten? No, She preserved evidence against them. She kept the letters that she got.
That chronicled their evil word against her. Her friend gently reminded her that while her own sins were forgiven and forgotten, she was keeping evidence of others' sins. For an astonishing moment, Ten Boom wrote, I couldn't find my voice. Lord Jesus, I whispered at last, who takes all my sins away, Forgive me for preserving all these years the evidence against others. And I did not go to sleep that night until I had gone through my desk and pulled out all those letters and fed them into my little coal burning stove.
And as the flames leaped and glowed, so did my heart. Forgive us our trespasses, Jesus taught us to pray, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Corey Tenboom learned a lesson that God had taught Joseph, his brothers, and many others throughout history. Harboring resentment and unforgiveness toward others does not hurt. hurt them, it hurts us.
Only by forgiving can we really find truth. true freedom.
So as we think about this, and the evidence that we have of God's concern. for his children. working so diligently to bring them to a place of repentance. If we are harboring unforgiveness in our hearts, We must deal with it. Not tomorrow.
Not next week, but today. We must do what we must do. I was preaching at a conference not long after I came here. And the man told me that he had not talked to his father. in over 30 years.
And that he had two. terrible resentment against his father. And he became convinced that he needed to forgive his father. And he left the meeting and went to what was then a pay phone. Called his dad.
ask him to forgive him for being so unforgiving. They had a glorious Renaissance, a great reunion. and remained friends until his father's death. You know, the only thing that stands between you and the wholeness of your life with regard to your relationships is taking. the courageous step of forgiving those who have hurt you.
And don't just forget it. Forgive it, but forget it. Put it behind you. And determine in your heart that you're not going to bring it up again. Walk away from it.
And be free. This is a powerful lesson and one that is needed in so many situations that I have dealt with over the years. You know, someone said if you could get people to forgive, you could empty out half of the hospitals we have in this country because an unforgiving spirit often puts people in jeopardy physically and emotionally. I don't know of any one thing that I'm run into that has done more damage than people who hold a grudge and are unwilling to forgive someone who has hurt them. And this story from Joseph is certainly an illustrative story because Joseph was hurt like you could never be hurt.
And yet he forgave. And we see this moment of coming together in the final days of this story.
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And we want you to have a copy of it. Thanks for listening today. Today's message originated from Shadow Mountain Community Church and Dr. David Jeremiah, the senior pastor. We love hearing how you're encouraged by this ministry.
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Visit TurningPointPlus.org for details. This is David Michael Jeremiah. Join us tomorrow as we continue the series God Meant It for Good: The Story of Joseph on Turning Point.
