How do you praise your spouse?

Welcome to Truth Talk Live. All right, let's talk. A daily program powered by the Truth Network. This is kind of a great thing and I'll tell you why. Where pop culture, current events, and theology all come together.

Speak your mind. And now, here's today's Truth Talk Live host. And it is a special day. It is Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day to all of you. Hope you are already having a wonderful day and experiencing being showered with love. And then tonight, even more so with dinner dates with your spouse or friends.

I hope you're having a wonderful day. I've got with me Robbie Dilmore today. I'm on this side of the table. He's on the other side. We're going to tag team and talk about love.

And we got a big question today, Robbie. We want to know how do you praise your spouse? How do you praise your spouse? I don't know when I learned this lesson, but even a woman has sensitivity toward criticism. And compliments work better than criticism.

And I find in the Bible, in this love story of Song of Solomon, I know that's one of your favorite books. Solomon will give lots of compliments. The beloved will give lots of compliments. And from head to toe, he will talk about her. And from head to toe, she will talk about him. They will give each other compliments. And just starting off with, Robbie, how do you praise your wonderful spouse, Miss Tammy? Well, I am, you know, as a fan of the Song of Solomon, you know, you could stay away from the hair like goats.

Okay, just saying. Well, that's one of my favorite ones for Denita. But anyway, no, no, I do love how he spent time because obviously, you know, your wife, women, a lot of them struggle with their self-image. And, you know, it is the husband's responsibility. And, you know, not just on Valentine's Day because, you know, that's... Yes.

Not just on Valentine's Day. And if Tammy was here, she says, Robbie is not good at that, okay? So I'm not claiming to be what I want to be. But I do, you know, when she gets ready, we're fixed to go outside to really think through, you know, what is she wearing? What can I say? Because she does look great.

I have an absolutely gorgeous wife. And so it's important to acknowledge what God did there. And I'm working on it.

So we'll leave it there. Well, callers, we need you, 1-866-348-7884, on this Valentine's Day special, Truth Talk Live. We want to hear how you praise your spouse. So men, you can call in. Ladies, you can call in. We want to hear things you have done. And feel free to also give away the surprise that you may have planned for tonight.

No, you don't want to do that. But if you've got something planned and you're really working hard at it, I want to make sure my spouse knows how much I love them. Give us a call here this afternoon. As we're thinking about love and we're thinking about how we truly let other people know, especially our spouse, Valentine's Day has so much about that in it, how much they mean to us. And I'll tell you, Robbie, I don't know how many times I have failed at this area. My wife, we have a wonderful relationship. I just, I'm so thankful for her. You do. I get to hang out with you guys a lot, and you do. Well, we're, you know, great communication is I can tell you anything and everything. And so every now and then, Denita knows I'm not zoned in.

I'm zoned out. And she'll say, so what do you think about what I'm wearing? Oh, honey.

Wow, that's beautiful. The other day, though, I said something like, is that new? And she's like five years. Oh, my word.

I blew that when I thought I was giving her a compliment. But our wives really do need affirmation. And I just love how Song of Solomon gives all these different compliments. And I just want to say to you men out there right now, if you haven't given your wife a Valentine's card yet, and you're looking for a Bible verse, this is date the word, OK?

That's my ministry. So coming to February the 14th, we have to have a great verse for 214. Well, Robbie, for 214, we have this awesome verse for a man, because it's from the man standpoint, to his bride. He says, oh, my dove. And on the card I gave my wife today, I wrote my dove. And a dove is a special bird. You know, it's one that that's very skittish, beautiful to look at. But boy, they can with the easiest of noise, they just fly away.

So you've got to be very gentle and tender with them. He says, oh, my dove, in the cliffs of the rocks, in the crannies of the cliff, security. He says, let me see your face. Let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely.

Now, gentlemen, I've helped you as much as I can. I'm telling you, Song of Solomon 214 is a great Bible verse to share with your spouse on Valentine's Day. Sign your card with it. Sign your card with Song of Solomon 214 and tell her she is your dove and that you want to see her face and hear her voice. We'll be right back after a few announcements and we're going to talk about also how much God loves us on Valentine's Day. You're listening to the Truth Network and truthnetwork.com Welcome back to Truth Talk Live on Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day. I'm Duane Carson here, Robbie Dilmore, and part of my ministry being Date the Word, we are talking about how do you praise your spouse.

But Robbie, I just want to make sure that all of our listeners, because some of our listeners will be not going forward with us at the end of this segment. I want to make sure every listener knows Titus 214 because this is God's verse on Valentine's Day. Titus 214, it speaks of Jesus who gave himself for us that he might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for himself his own special people, zealous now for good works. Here's Paul saying to Titus, Jesus Christ gave his life so that he could have a special people.

He bought, talk about paying the price, Valentine's Day, we spend money on the ones we love. Well, he paid the price. His life was the price so that he could have a special people. And I just want every listener to know right now, Jesus Christ is saying, be mine, be mine. And today, of all the days, what a day to say, Lord Jesus, I'm yours. Robbie, my spiritual birthday is tomorrow, say, February 15th, 1983. And it's when God's love became so real to me that I couldn't earn his favor.

I could not be good enough. I couldn't do enough that was good to please him. And I realized that he is the only way I could ever be saved by putting my trust in him. And so for today, Valentine's Day, I say to all of you, Titus 214, who gave himself. And that just reminds me again of John 3 16, for God so loved the world that he gave. Love is spelled G-A-V-E. God gave, gave his only son. So today, hear the call from heaven, be mine. And how much does God love you? He sent his son to die for you. What do you think of that, Robbie?

Oh, isn't it amazing? And it's got its own red in there, right? Because, you know, to give you the Valentine thing, right? You get that red cover that God can see you through Christ's righteousness. I've been thinking about that all day for some reason. God kind of gave me that this morning that, you know, when he looks, the Father looks at us, you know, he sees that righteousness.

Yes. Clothed in righteousness, not ours. And it is a red Valentine. He covers us with his righteousness. We talk about the great exchange. Earlier today, we talked about the great exchange. Christ took our sins, filthiness, dirtiness, the unrighteousness. He took it and gave us his righteousness, one who lived perfect. And we're now spotless before the Father.

That is, that blows my mind. But now, as we think about Valentine's Day, callers 1-866-348-7884. Don't be shy. Call us and tell us, how do you praise your spouse?

What have you done to let your wife, let your husband know how special they are? And you know what? With your call, you may be inspiring us. And both Rob and myself, we need some help.

Tammy is going, somebody call, help my husband. Well, fortunately this morning, you know, and I'll admit it, and Tammy knows this anyway, that, you know, I'm the person that probably didn't buy the card till last night. And I get up this morning, and after I spend some time in prayer, I'm really asking God, you know, help me after I get, you know, kind of in that good place with God. And I begin to write this card. And my family, you don't just hand a card and sign your name on the bottom of what the card said.

You have to leave your own personal message. And, you know, whatever you do is what really makes the card for my family. And so I'm asking God, like give me, and it was a little like a heart-shaped card, you know, so the cover was like the top of a heart. And the Holy Spirit just gave me this idea to just write, please, please, please, please, please, all over that heart with question marks, you know, be my Valentine. Just think, because that was, I couldn't get that off my mind. It's like, oh my goodness, I can't imagine, I really can't imagine anybody I would want to be my Valentine. And it's just like, and how amazing is it that she picked me? Like, I often just sit there and just ponder, like really?

Boy, God, how, you know, how amazing it is that I can ask her that and she says yes, right? And, you know, I guess that's the thing, that to actually be loved, being who you really are, because your wife, like you talked about earlier, if you're honest with your wife, then she knows, you know, she's, you know, like C.S. Lewis puts it, you know, every once in a while we need to get in touch, you know, get in a big whiff of our inner cesspool, right? And so, you know, it really helps me be humble when I realize how much I struggle with certain things.

Even the Christian car guy struggles with road rage, just saying. You know, and I get in touch with my inner cesspool and Tammy's very well aware of that, more than your wife is probably, your spouse is probably more aware of that, and still loves me? No. That's real love, you know? That's real love.

Going the extra mile. I find the Valentine card pretty early, Robbie. Good for you. Good, good.

I'll be going through a store and the Valentine's cards are out right after Christmas, and I'll start looking through and I'll find this, just the card I really think is awesome. And then I forget where I put it. I forget. I can see that. I can see that. Until the last minute that I still need to sign the thing.

And I don't do probably what you do, but I do write something. I don't want to just sign my name. I want to put some kind of statement. Song of Solomon 2.14. And then, Song of Solomon 2.14. I used to use Philippians 1.3, and here it comes. Philippians 1.3, I thank my God upon every remembrance of you. Now that verse works. You don't have to just use it on January the 3rd, but it's a great verse.

So if you're looking for another verse, Philippians 1.3, honey, I just want to let you know, every time I think of you, I thank God for you. We can give lots of different compliments, but yeah, I'll have the card and all of a sudden it's like, oh my word, I've got to get it signed, and I get cards from my daughters, and one of them lives in Pennsylvania, so we have to mail it. Well, it's not good to mail it to her on the 13th. I need to get it to her on the 11th or something. So I'm not the last second, but I am still late getting it to them sometimes. But cards do matter.

Yeah, they do. Don't spend a lot of money on it. We'll have to talk to some people here on the next segment.

Let's be careful that we spend our money wisely. But to you that are not going to be continuing with us, we wish you a happy Valentine's Day. Do take a good look at Song of Solomon 2.14, as well as Titus 2.14 on this Valentine's Day. Know this, God loves you, we love you, we thank God for you. Well, welcome back to Truth Talk Live on this Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day to all of you out there. How do you praise your spouse? How do you compliment them in a way that is very meaningful and we could use your calls and use your insights and your advice?

1-866-348-7884, that's 866-348-7884. Give us a call and let's talk today about how we can really build up, how we can edify, encourage our spouse. You know, Robbie, when we think about Valentine's Day, there is the love component. We think about love. And I don't know if a lot of people know what love is. Farner, a British band, back in 1984 wrote a song, I want to know what love is. And one of the lines in it says, let's talk about what love means.

So maybe we take a few moments and talk about what love means. 1 Corinthians 13, we call that the love chapter. But you know, in 1 Corinthians 13, we have a chapter division. And that chapter division really shouldn't be there because the Apostle Paul is writing this letter and as he's writing to these Corinthians, they are one dysfunctional church, full of division, they're debating, they're on each other's nerves, they're puffed up, hey, I got a better gift than you, I'm much more important than you, and Paul is trying to address that. And I don't know if you've studied 1 Corinthians much, but I found myself wondering if the Apostle Paul just kind of got to the point where he was just exhausted as he's writing to them and he just all of a sudden stops and he begins to, he bows his head, Lord, how do I really help them? What do I tell them they really ought to be doing?

What they should be about? And all of a sudden, they need to pursue love. They need to pursue love. Well, that's 1 Corinthians 14 in the chapter headings. So I can imagine the Apostle Paul as he's writing, he's finishing up chapter 12, and he knows he wants to tell them, pursue love. So he writes, I'll show you a more excellent way.

A more excellent way. And then it's, okay, pursue love. But what does that mean? We've got some messed up ideas about what love is. He then pens one of the most beautiful passages of Scripture, verses of Scripture that the world's ever known. And it doesn't really matter whether you're a Christian or not. 1 Corinthians 13 is the definitive description of what love is.

And I guess I need to restate what I just said to you. It's not so much what love is. It's what love does. Today, earlier, I spoke at a chapel and I said, I'm not going to define love. I'm going to seek to describe love. And I'm just going to get your first thoughts when you hear, love suffers long.

How's that hit you, Robbie? Love suffers long. Yeah, it's an amazing thing, right? That as the recipient, which I'm sure anybody that's in God's love realizes how long he does, right? And they're painting a picture actually of God when they paint that picture.

Because God is love, you know, according to 1 John. And we get that information. And so here you get this.

And I love the idea because, you know, again, I study things in Hebrew and you know that. And it has this implication of a long wing, right? This sort of wing that you can crawl up under in so many different passages that is actually going to protect you while you're out shenanigansing. I mean, you know, it's like, what?

Like the whole time in his own way, you know, it's amazing to me how many times he just didn't let me go too far somehow when I was out way out of line. Love suffers long. We restate that love as long suffering, a long wing. I saw it from the Greek. It means to have a long fuse. I like that.

One that is not going to explode when someone has done something wrong. And today I conveyed an idea that when a coach is coaching, and I've done coaching with some kids with baseball. Well, here's what I know. I can't tell them, as a coach, I am expecting perfection. What I am expecting is progression. And I think that really is the idea of love is patient. Love is going to give time for the person who has made a mistake to correct the mistake. They're not going to immediately cut them off. They're not immediately through with them. There's no counseling with love. We're in a counsel culture. Someone says something, you're done.

We're not going to have anything else to do with you. Love doesn't do that. Love is going to give a person time to correct what was wrong.

I took that years ago when I heard this concept about coaching. As a parent, I can't expect perfection from my children. So to show them love, I'm going to say, my expectation is there will always be progression. You're going to be growing. You're going to be learning. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from your failures. And then from there, you get a little bit better each day. As a pastor, both of us pastoring, we find ourselves, I want my people to be perfect. Well, that's an unrealistic expectation. You take that concept of, I want to show them love.

I love my people. So I'm going to be patient with them. As they make mistakes, I'm going to give them time to correct the mistake. I'm going to expect progression, not perfection.

Same kind of idea comes into a school teacher with your friends. Be patient with the person you love. And then he says, be kind.

Now we're going to put on some action. I like the idea of acts of random kindness. Doing something good for a person when they don't expect it and you aren't expecting anything in return. So on this day of thinking on love, complimenting your spouse, giving praise to your spouse, what are your thoughts about what true love is? If you were speaking today to 400 college students, what would you be telling them? Give us a call.

We want to hear your thoughts. 1-866-348-7884. Robbie, I don't have the whole passage right in front of me, but when you think about 1 Corinthians 13, what are some of the difficulties that you find when you read that passage about how love is supposed to be put into action? Which challenge is you?

One of the biggest ones that jumps out at me is keeps no record. Oh, yes. I will forgive you, but I will not forget. But it's an interesting, it's a prayer challenge for me. I realize that every time I'm dealing with this particular person, I'm remembering that. I'm like, God, you've got to help me somehow or another take that somehow from the east to the west.

How exactly does that look? I don't know. But I do know that that has to stay out of the equation in my thought process. And it's a very, very challenging thing. Some people become hysterical.

Some people become historical. And they are now reminding a person of all their faults. Now, do you remember back? And do you remember this?

Well, yeah, I remember Corey Tim Boone said, I do remember, but I choose to forget. Hey, we're going to have more when we come back as we talk about Valentine's Day love and how we can compliment, how we can praise our spouse. And we're going to look at some verses from Song of Solomon. Welcome back to Truth Talk Live on this Valentine's Day. And we're talking about giving praise to our spouse, compliments, and thinking about what love does on this wonderful Valentine's Day. And as promised, I said I want to give some verses, some thoughts about compliments. But before I do, I just want to throw this challenge to you.

I did this at a church not long ago. Take time to read Song of Solomon. It's only eight chapters, but as you read it, take notice of how many compliments are given by the husband, by the wife, and just kind of notice them and log them away to at certain times just sprinkle them on your spouse, just to say, hey, I want to let you know. The Bible says that I think the same about you. Now, there's some very interesting ones in here, like Song of Solomon 4.1 says, Behold, you are beautiful, my love. Behold, you are beautiful. Twice he's telling his wife how beautiful she is. I don't know any wife that's going to go, I don't want you telling me that.

They're going to very much appreciate the fact that you're giving her that affirmation. And then he says, Your eyes are like doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead. Well, all of a sudden, I don't know where that came from with Solomon, what he had been thinking as he had been going through the land. If you ever go to Israel, when I'm there with people, we're driving down through the valley, and I'll point out those are the hills of Gilead.

Now, picture goats coming down and how wavy it will look. He wanted to compliment her hair. He's going to speak about how beautiful in chapter 7, verse 1, he says, How beautiful are your feet in sandals.

Oh, my word. She is going to tell him how handsome he is. She's going to say, My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among 10,000. Song of Solomon 5, 10, you'll find that there. She talks about his head is finest gold.

His locks are wavy. She talks about the color of his hair as a raven. Over and over, you're going to find in Song of Solomon these statements to compliment your spouse to let them know how much you appreciate who they are. Song of Solomon 6, 4, this is my anniversary verse. To my wife, you are beautiful as Terza. My love, lovely as Jerusalem, awesome as an army with banners. We look at that, and you speak about how beautiful a city is. Well, you're more beautiful than the city of Jerusalem.

As beautiful as that city is, think about what the most beautiful city is in the world. Nothing compares to your beauty. Now, Solomon did, Robbie, say one time that he compared his wife to his horse.

And I'm not sure that may be something you'll want to do. He says, I have compared you to my filly. And I'm like, I don't know. Danita didn't really think I was a great one. I said, well, you got to imagine, honey, he was a king. He's got an incredible, wonderful, powerful horse. And he's saying, my horse doesn't even compare to how great and wonderful you are. Wow, the neat thing about the word horse in Hebrew is it has to do with support. When you think about a horse, it supports you through what it is that you're trying to do. And it's also a force to be reckoned with. And my wife is a force to be reckoned with.

That is so good. Right, that a horse has got some abilities that if need be, they are a force to be reckoned with. And so I understand that most women wouldn't necessarily grasp those kind of things. But again, when Solomon was saying these things, he was speaking Hebrew to her, and she would have seen these things that are inherent in the language that, again, because he spoke in poetry all the time, and so I'm sure his bride had to get used to the fact that this man has a phenomenal ability to communicate with language. So maybe I can give to Danita Song of Solomon 1-9. You can. I can say, honey, I've compared you, my love, to my horses among Pharaoh's chariots. And with Robbie's explanation now, wow.

You see there, guys? You can give scriptural compliments to your wife. Let her know how special she is.

I was thinking, Robbie, while we've given the challenge, read Song of Solomon, highlight the compliments. And this is not just for a husband. This is for a wife. It's both sides. She is going to be very complimentary of him and how he protects her, how he provides for her. It works both ways. Both spouses need that affirmation.

And for the women, you know, I don't know if you've ever studied this, but it's absolutely beautiful. So when she's complimenting him, she often calls him my beloved. Well, that word beloved in Hebrew is David.

In other words, it's the word David, which was his dad. You know, it's interesting when you think about it, but it has to do with, now think about what Jesus says. If you love me, you will. Keep my commandments.

You're right. That you're going to do, you're actually going to serve me in your own way. Just like when you love somebody else and you go help widows and orphans and all that stuff, you're loving on Jesus.

And so when you're beloved, what you think about how much you're saying, your husband is literally doing all these things for you and complimenting him on the things that he's been doing for you. And you're literally davening him because he has been fulfilling your commandments. Go fix that. Go fix the roof.

Or did you fix the screen door? My husband does those kind of things. You're actually davening him. I hope I didn't confuse. No, you bring the Hebrew, and I learned so much.

Oh my goodness, I learned so much. Listeners, Valentine's Day should be every day in your marriage. I heard a guy one time make this joke that his wife looked at her husband and says, you don't tell me that you love me anymore.

And he said, honey, I told you I loved you one time. If that ever changes, I'll let you know. That doesn't work for women. That doesn't work.

That doesn't work for me either. I want to hear it. I'm telling my wife I love her in the morning. I'm telling my wife I love her in the afternoon. I want her to know she is loved.

You can't just go 20 days, you can't go two years without telling your spouse you love them. And maybe that's a good question to even ask is, honey, do you know that you know that you know deep down in your knower that I love you? Do you know that? Because isn't that where that's supposed to be? Like you talked about, women, actually anybody loves a sense of security to know that no matter what, deep down, deep, deep, deep down.

And the same thing with your kids. Do they really, really, really know that? When the Apostle Paul gives the instructions on marriage and he says, for husbands to love their wives, that's the challenge enough. But he doesn't stop there. He says, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. And I told these students today that love wants what's best for the other person first.

Love wants for the other person what is best first. And Jesus wanted what was best for us. Heaven's what's best for us.

How do we get that? He had to sacrifice. He had to put our needs above his needs. If he had his way and he battled, if he had his way, he would never have gone to the cross. But knowing what our need was, that the Father needed a perfect sacrifice, Jesus Christ goes to that cross and dies for us.

Now, I'm supposed to love my wife the way Jesus loved me. Yes, I'm selfish, but I've got to put my needs on the back burner. What is the needs of the other person first? And I want them to have the best first. Our show is going to be coming to a conclusion here pretty quick.

And I just thought it'd be worth listening to. 1 Corinthians 13. Paul says again, verse 31 of chapter 12, And yet I show you a more excellent way.

What's the more excellent way? He then dives in. Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, and do not have love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

I've heard clanging cymbals, not very good. And then he says, And though I have the gift of prophecy and understanding all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have faith so I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and though I do not have love, it profits me nothing. Folks, you gotta love one another. Look at 1 Corinthians 13 and learn the descriptions of love. Happy Valentine's Day!