Welcome to Truth Talk Live. All right, let's talk. A daily program powered by the Truth Network. This is kind of a great thing, and I'll tell you why. Where pop culture, current events, and theology all come together.
Speak your mind. And now, here's today's Truth Talk Live host. I'm here with Mary Ann Ufson, and I am so excited about today's topic. And just for the opportunity for Mary Ann to tell some of her stories, things that God has done in her life. The question we have today, if you want to call in, the question is, what have you overcome? And that's probably a hint about our topic today.
But the number is 866-348-7884. If you'd like to talk about what have you overcome? We're going to jump in with Mary Ann. And Mary Ann, the first time I knew you, I think before you knew me, because I saw you in church, and you and Al, you would sit on the front row, and I would just watch you. And I was like, that woman is worshiping.
You would just worship your heart out. And I was like, you love Jesus. And I was just struck with your countenance. The way you carried yourself so beautifully and with dignity. But just with this overflowing love that just shows to everybody around you.
And Al as well. So at some point, I guess we met at two cities. I don't know if you remember.
I just remember eventually I knew you. I sit on the front row, not to be seen, but I'm short. I get that. Yeah, I sit near the front because I get distracted. And I can pay attention if I'm closer to the front. That too.
Yeah, that too. Well, eventually we kind of started overlapping and doing some ministry together. And now you're part of my ministry team in Oasis Ministries. We're doing that together.
And that's been really fun, really kind of getting our year started here this past summer, looking forward to a lot of fun things this year with that ministry. But I wanted to just kind of start out with you introducing yourself. Tell a little bit about yourself. We can go. There's so many things that we have to talk about today.
But maybe just introduce who you are, what your life is like right now. And then we might circle back and you know, to your childhood and kind of who's made you Marianne. I'm a child of God. I'm a child of God.
And my name is Mary Ann Upson. And I'm loved. And I belong and cared for.
And those were three things that I needed in my life was to know that I'm loved, I belong and that I'm cared for. And really, that's who I am. And I am a worshipper of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, because he's always been there.
And through my whole life. And so I, I love the Lord. And I wonder people would tell me about, they like to look at me worship. And I will wonder, well, why aren't you worshipping? Why are you looking at me? Because that's true.
You caught me right. Well, I think I'm just inspired when I see other people worship, it does make me want to just, you know, just come before Christ and worship him. So and I the Lord had to let me know that we are lights. And we have different expressions. And to express ourselves through to him. So it's okay, Mary Ann, you know that they're not worshiping.
They're looking at you. I was doing both Mary Ann. No, yeah, I hear what you're saying. Yeah. You know, you said those three words loved, belong, what was the third one, and cared for, cared for? Yeah, I know out of your childhood. And maybe that because that is such a part of your story. Yes, that God used to let you know that you were loved and you did belong and you were cared for.
Yes. But tell me about your early life and how you how you came into this world and what that looked like those first few years. Well, I came into the world not wanted and was not a decision. If if if there was abortion during that time, if my mom could afford it, I wouldn't be here. Well, the world would be a sadder place.
Yes, it would. But I was and and I know that my mom often told us she was really young too. Yeah, yeah. And my mom was a beautiful woman. I she took care. I didn't even know we were poor until I came home one day from school and for get some canned goods for the poor children.
And she looked at me said, we're the poor people. But I digress. My mom and dad were both married, but not to each other.
Okay. When I was conceived. My mom was not happy in her marriage. And my dad had since left his wife.
And as a result of them trying to have a little fun a night and I was conceived. Right. But I was I was loved. But my mom just did not know how to nurture us. Right. She knew responsibility. And she knew responsibility. And so she took care of us. She worked very hard. Yeah.
And we didn't receive any state or federal funded anything. She worked that hard right to take care of us. So we'll we're going to go to a break in just a minute and we'll come back and we'll talk about that. But I know you did feel like there were times that that sense of belonging that you so want every child wants to know, I'm loved and I belong and you were loved. But there was this sense that maybe you weren't wanted. Yeah. And you know that I think that eventually played into how you saw yourself. And that's part of how God redeemed you. Yes. Out of all that it's just a beautiful story. So, you know, we I just think about how even when you said, you know, you were not wanted, and you weren't expected, but, but God knew you.
Yes. And Psalm 39. Yeah, he knit you together in your mother's womb, even when she, you know, didn't didn't expect you maybe didn't want you.
But he did. And he knew you and he saw you in that place. And that's such a reassuring thing when we really think about God's bigger plan. So we'll be right back if you want to call in and answer 866-348-7884. Welcome back to Truth Talk Live. Today our question is, what have you overcome? I'm with Marianne Epson, and we're having a great discussion just about some things in her life. And we want to circle back and talk a little bit about that, Marianne. You said that when you were born in your early childhood, you just had this desire to be loved and to belong and to be cared for. And what did that, you know, there were some reasons that you might not have felt that way. And then how did you process who God was in those years?
Anything in that in that direction? Okay. That was big. I was the last child. Like I said, I came into a family, and I was not wanted.
And my mom, she was beautiful person, but she say whatever came up, came out. And she was, the brother and sister that I had in the household, I didn't know we weren't, their dad was not my dad. Okay, so you thought you were full siblings. Right. And when we found that, when I found that out at the age of five, we had an uncle in our house, and he had died, and his family came from South Carolina to get the body.
And my mother introduced me to my brother. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah.
And, um, five years, I'm looking like, okay, that's my brother, who, you know, what about these other and I was just a confusing time. Yeah, a little girl. Yeah.
Think about, you know, now as we're older, we can process and you come to be able to process a lot of that, but add at a young age. Yeah. I'm sure that was confusing. Yeah, it was. And I was yanked out of the house in a loving way, and taken to another town with my oldest sister, escort me to this whole new family, and was rejected in a lot of ways, and accepted by the brothers, the older brothers, but always knew what was going on, and all I had was God, and knowing that he was present, but not really understanding what was happening.
Right. So in your family, there was so much going on. So you had the sense, though, that God was with you.
Yes. And that that was kind of an anchor from a really early age, even though you didn't really know him fully. But you had the sense that that somehow you thought that God really loved you. Yes, and was with you and protected you. I did. But please understand that in my community, my mom was very limited in her knowledge, right?
Yeah. We had very, the preachers and the teachers that taught us the Word, they were very limited. So I grew up in a time that we went to church. We did what we were supposed to do.
You did Christian things as you knew as well as you could in your community. Right. But, you know, so I had, I knew God would do it. I knew he would fix it, but I didn't know how. Right.
What was my part? I guess I didn't know grace fully. Right.
You know, because if I knew grace, I would know I didn't have to work. Right. Sure. Yeah. But at that time, I felt like I just needed to know what I had to do. Right. To be better, be in a better place, not to have to deal with all this.
Right. You know, so let's say coming out of your childhood. Where do you think your mindset was in terms of who is Marianne?
And where does she belong? And, you know, what was going on in your mind as you got to be maybe a teenager or older teenager? You know, most of us at that age, we're just trying to figure out where do we fit in the world?
And who am I is a question for anybody, but especially coming out of a childhood that had a lot of confusion. Kind of where were you in those years? Well, my mom was a hard working woman. And so the children, my brothers and sisters all got out the house when first they could, you know, so I was left there.
And my mom really expressed how she was tired of raising children. Yeah. And I always been an internal thinker. You probably internalized a lot of that. I did because I had no one.
Right. You know, I didn't have any people were around, but they didn't make themselves available for me. Yeah, you know, I know, I'm gonna go off topic just a little bit, and then we'll come back. But it really speaks to the need for us to be in each other's lives and to be looking for those young women that need a mentor and that need somebody to speak truth and to love them and come alongside because when you're trying to walk that road alone, it is so lonely.
So anyway, back to back to Yeah, it is. It's very lonely and you start to make decisions that you're not equipped to make. The first man that I, my first boyfriend, I felt like that was my way out. Yeah, that I was gonna get mom what she wanted, was to be free, right of raising children. And so, so you're not even making the greatest choices because you, you don't even know who you are at that point you just know your mom is ready for you to be gone.
So this is this is the night on night and shining armor on a horse that doesn't turn out to be a nightmare. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, I could we convinced my mom, I wasn't pregnant. Yeah. At the time. And we convinced my mom to sign the papers. Yeah.
And we had to go to South Carolina to get married. Yeah. And we did. And the whole time on the Holy Spirit in me was saying, No, yeah, no. Right. You know, I could not sense that I was doing the wrong thing. But I felt like I was stuck. Right.
I didn't have what will I do? Right. You know, go back home, my mom not want me, you know, what, you know, so I went through, I don't think we often realize the situations that people are in, and they feel like they have so few choices, right, that they make a choice that they don't want to make.
But the the, like, the beauty of the body of Christ coming around each other when, when we are in those positions, it could change everything. But but you just didn't have that in your life at that point. Yeah, yeah. I had, I had some people there, but I didn't know how to ask what to ask. Sure.
I didn't know what I need. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so I just did what I did. Yeah.
Well, I'm sure there's more to that story. And then I really want to get I want to fast forward when we come back and talk about kind of some of your passions today, because you've really seen God redeemed so much of that from your earlier life and now giving you a hope and a purpose. And so and a future Yes, ma'am. Okay, we'll be right back. Hallelujah.
You're listening to the Truth Network and truthnetwork.com Good afternoon. I'm here with Marianne Epson and we're talking about the question, what have you overcome? And well, Marianne, we've covered some ground. I told her during the break, we could we need a session two and a session three of her story because there's just so much.
For the sake of time, I'm just going to fast forward a little bit. You left off kind of you as a young adult, moving into adulthood. It seems like you moved through that you started to work, you had a long career with Wake Forest Baptist, kind of step us into that next season of your life, what that looked like spiritually. You said, you know, looking back, you knew God loved you and cared for you. But there was a time when you really started to understand his grace. Yes, that he didn't have to work to earn his love or to belong or to be cared for. And I it reminded me of a passage in Jeremiah, I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
Yes, yes. So just kind of talk us through that period of your life. And you know what, looking back in retrospect, that's usually when we can see things. What was what was God doing in your life during those years, maybe your 20s and 30s? Well, I knew I did have a baby. And I knew I was responsible for her. And so I finished school.
I hadn't, I was 15 when I got married. And so I finished high school. And I got a certificate for a nurse's assistant. And my first job was in the NICU. Intermediate nursery, intermediate nursery.
And I guess that's between the ICU and a regular nursery. Yeah, yeah. And with the little babies and having having a chance to hold them and, and feed them, the ones that were able to be held and fed. And so I've had that kind of healing for you that maybe some of what you didn't receive, you were able to like, pour into these babies in an unusual way.
Yeah, yeah. I didn't think about it much that at the time, I knew that they was receiving something, they were sick also. One thing, I found out I was born with a hole in my heart.
And I tell people I was born with a broken heart. But knowing that I was so grateful that I didn't have to go through the pain and the suffering, even though the babies went through a whole lot of pain and suffering. I didn't think they could feel it. Like we, an older person would feel it. I felt like that they were sheltered from the full effect of pain. And I could be wrong.
But I just did. But to go on, I had a number of jobs. I worked in cardiology. I read EKG strips, heart rhythm strips, and analyzed them and reported back if they were normal, abnormal.
Some variations in the rhythms. And so I was a secretary. And when I, after 34 years, 34 years.
You know, people don't stay in their jobs that long anymore. That's an accomplishment. Yes, after 34 years. Oh, I bet Maryann people loved you. Oh, they did. But I never was fulfilled. You still felt like something was missing?
Yes. And my 2.0 life, now I feel like this is what I was called to do. You know, to help people, women heal. To know their worth, their value, their importance.
Just the truth about who they are. And that God created them on purpose, for a purpose, you know. You're speaking my language. I know it.
I know it. It's providence, you know, how we met and what we have in common. And also when you approached me to be an OASIS speaker on grief. And I wondered, I said, Lord, yeah. And one of the griefs that I had when my mom passed.
I was here the whole time. I wouldn't, you know, I was one of her caretakers. And when she passed, I grieved the hardest. And I wondered why I even went to counseling. I wondered why. It was because I knew that when she passed that I, that mother, that nurturing, that relationship that I wanted, I would never get. It was over, you know. So it took me a couple of years to fully grieve that through.
That's so interesting, Mary Ann. I know some people talk about, I think this is what you're talking about. You grieve the passing of that person, but you grieve what will never be. Right. The hopes that you had that somehow it could be different. And then when they're gone, that door closes. And there's a deep grief over, I just was holding out hope that somehow this relationship, that God would just, you know, fix all the broken parts.
And when that doesn't happen, yeah, I can see why that brought you a lot of grief. So those two years. Yes.
Yes. I withdrew from my family because it was, and the Lord had to heal me. He had to heal that. And that's why it's so important to know God is Father, you know, to know Him as Father, to know He's a loving, heavenly Father, and He's there. I think that's, yeah, I think that's something that's really stood out to me the last few years, that before God created us, He was a Father, Son, and Spirit. He was a relationship.
Yeah. And He didn't need us. He didn't, He wasn't lonely. He didn't need some servants. He wanted to extend that love to us.
And so when we approach, even Jesus, when His disciples said, teach us how to pray, He said, start with Father who art in heaven, because He is a Father and He interacts with us as a Father. And that's probably exactly what your heart needed to know. I was no longer an orphan, you know, no longer orphan. And that orphan mindset that you have nobody. And another thing, being part of the community, part of the family, I didn't know how to be a part of the family. Right. Yeah. And of relationships like yourself, being so healed and open and authentic and welcoming. I mean, It's kind of like all of a sudden you find out you have all these brothers and sisters who we all have a common vision. Not perfect.
No, no. But loving our, our. Right, the body of Christ. The body of Christ. Yeah.
What, what did you learn about God during that season of just brokenness and grief? The last season. Yeah. The last season, you know, a lot of times we try to do what only God can do and work, make stuff happen, believe, fast, pray, you know.
Try really hard. You know, I mean, our children, our husband and everybody, you know. He's like, did you leave this for me? Right. Yeah. But I'm telling you, it's in vain. Yeah. A lot of it is in vain because, and, and when I came to the dark night of the soul, that's what I call it.
Right. Because it was a place I had not said. I had to do everything that I knew to do. It was Christmas night. We had drove home from Asheville, having dinner with my sister. Beautiful day. But I came home and just fell on the floor in brokenness and just told God, I can't live like this anymore.
And if I wouldn't have been at the season of my life and I would have had to be hospitalized. Right. Yeah. That's how broken I was. Yeah.
You know, mentally, physically, spiritually. Yeah. I was, I didn't know what to do. Right. Well, I think you're not the only one that's come to that broken season and somehow God just meets you there. Yes. And when we come back, we'll pick up that story. And we've got a few more things to talk about as well.
We'll be right back. So Mary Ann, we lift off on the dark night of the soul. Yes. Obviously you're here.
Yes. Tell me, tell me how the Lord worked in that. Tell me how you moved from that to where you are now. What happened?
You know, during that time, it was a lot of being alone because I'm retired and it's nobody in the house. But Alphonse is my husband. Yes.
So we'll skip over. There was an early husband. Yeah. God worked through all that. But you've been married now to Alphonse. I call him Al, but you call him Alphonse, so that's what I'll call him. For 25, coming up on 25 years. 25 years.
October 17th. And he is amazing. He is just, he has the biggest smile, just joy, just exudes. So the two of you, you, yeah, you're just a match. Yeah. Well, I thank God for him because we sat down and asked what drew me to you and, you know, everything. And he said I was the most spiritual woman that, and during this time, this was a single man, never been married.
Yeah. You know, knew how to do a little bit. He was waiting on you. He had a lot more women to hold in the back, but I had my list.
I wanted him to love God, a man of integrity, and good with his hands. Yeah. And it just shows us, and I got all that, but, not but, but God. But even, even people can't feel that deep, deep hole in our soul that was only created for Christ. Amen.
And when we hope that they will, we set them up to not be able to do that. And vice versa, you know, we have a fantasy, these fairy tales in our mind of what marriage is, but a godly marriage is so much different from home movies or the fantasies. Right. It's so much different. So much deeper. Yeah, because God said my ways are not your ways.
My thoughts are not yours. And so is the skies above the heaven, you know, the sky, earth. I got us off. I got us off track. Dark night of the soul. How did, how did God bring you out of that? But then I want to talk about your coaching.
So I want to get to that. Okay. He brought me out slowly. And I'm realizing now that we have to be aligned and in step with his cadence, not on, not the world's. And that's why the importance of the Holy Spirit to be led and walking in the spirit, because nobody else could have brought me out of that. Yeah.
Nobody else. The drugs, if they would have gave me drugs, if I would have been hospitalized, but God had to do a work. So he did it.
Yeah. And I came out knowing that I wasn't anybody's savior. I was.
He had that down path. I wasn't a Holy Spirit. I couldn't make anybody come to him.
I couldn't make things happen. I had to take my position as to pray and to believe and to confess his word. Right.
Do you feel like in some ways, not that it was a point of salvation, but was that a point of surrender? Yes. Like, God, Jesus take the wheel. Oh, Jesus take the wheel season. And I'm sure it went on a lot longer than you'd hoped. Yeah.
I think that's the story of a lot of people is some of these seasons, you want a shortcut and there's no off ramp. And you just have to like wait for God to bring you through it. But he's so faithful.
He is faithful. And, you know, we're changing into that image of God. Yeah. Being transformed. Being transformed. We're being transformed.
That butterfly coming out of that cape. And it's not instantaneously. Right. We want it instantaneously. Our mind and the culture make us think that we're late, we're behind.
But we have eternity when you consider what God is doing. Right. And so I had to get in cadence with his step. Well, I want to talk about, you've got two passion projects that I know about. One is Salem Pregnancy and you're on the board of Salem Pregnancy.
Wow. And then you're coaching. You've started coaching and really helping people kind of walk the same journey you have of finding their true identity in Christ and transforming their mind by truth.
So you tell me, tell me about your coaching. I'm so excited today. And it just seems like it flows out of your life. It is. You know, it's who I am.
It is because the Lord has brought me through what it is to be his daughter. Right. And to when, you know, the coaching, people all talk about transformation and behavior is not transformation.
You can change your behavior, but if it's not from the inside out, it's probably temporary. Right. Yeah. And that was- Yeah. Yeah.
Because you'll have to do it. Yeah. You know, you have, and you get, we get tired and we miss, you know, but when we're doing it with the spirit and the word of God, that's why we have to renew our mind. And basically my coaching practice is dealing on hope, the confident expectation of God intervention in every area of your life.
And so as long as we're alive, there's still hope. And so I train, teach, marginalized mindsets through the word of God. commercial wise, is that like a limiting when you have a limiting mindset that you don't think you can be more or that God could use you or all those things in that direction? Okay.
You're helping me learn. Right. And a lot of us as women and social economic, you know, in that area, we have a mindset of thinking we're not enough.
You know, we're less than. I can never do that. I can't, you know, and, and I like to give them strict strictures to confess in the morning that will teach their spirit, that will confirm their spirit before they get started during the day. This is part of their briefing with God in the morning. And then we have a debriefing in the evening so that you can go back to them and pray and tell the Lord all about your day and just let it go. I love that.
Yeah. Maybe identifying the lies, but replacing them with truth, because you can identify your wrong thinking, but if you don't replace it with truth, it's not probably going to go away. Just like Psalms 139 14, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful. I know that full well. And so this, that scripture will make you to understand your spirit as the verse reminds us that we are uniquely created and valued by God. You know, counteracting feelings and adequacy, self-worth, um, you, all of that. That's why the Bible tell us the main thing to renew our minds and a new life in Christ. And a lot of us are not, they not live in our new life.
We are just, we're Christians, but we sprinkle a little bit of God on us every day. You know, that doesn't give us a real identity. We're still living out of all these faults, things that have been sent to us, maybe things that we believed and yeah, what you're saying, you've got to latch onto that true identity.
Yeah. Because in Christ we live, we move and we have our being. I love that. I love that. You know, and so our identity is in Christ and we have to spend time with him to get to know him and for him to tell us who we are and to love on us and to nurture us and let us know in his word that we can do all things that he has called us to do.
Right. Oh, and then Salem pregnancy, it's a God thing. Teenage pregnancy, even though I was married, you know, I didn't, you know, to know and then been born, not wanted, I believe for a long time that what they, that rhetoric of not, it's your body. And if I felt like if you don't have a resources to bring a child in this world, if you don't want them, if you know, I felt like all that saying around abortion, I felt like that for years. And I thought I was doing them up, doing the child a favor by thinking this way because why bring I'm into this world, this dark, ugly world.
But then look at you, Marianne, look at you sitting right here across from me. I just want to finish with a couple of verses because we talked about being an overcomer. But first John five says, everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world. Even our faith. Thanks be to God.
He gives us the victory through our Lord, Jesus Christ. I am. That's right. All right. Well, what a great day. Oh yeah. Another program powered by the truth network.
