How Have You Been Touched By Suicide

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This is kind of a great thing, and I'll tell you what. Where pop culture, current events, and theology all come together. Speak your mind. And now, here's today's Truth Talk Live host. Have you in your life been touched by suicide or depression or those things that have affected your life?

And where do you see God in that? Where do you see God in suicide and depression? We would love to hear from you today. The call-in number to call in and share: 866-348-743. Seven eight eight four eight six six three four eight Seven eight eight four.

How's your life? possibly been shaped by those two words. Suicide, depression. Where do you where do you see God in that? I know in my own life.

Uh When I was twelve years old, my mother attempted it horribly. Um Literally changed all our lives because she was. Uh took a bunch of pills and got in the back seat of a car in Detroit, Michigan, where they didn't find her till you know, say a week later and then they had to Spend more than a year and a half to bring her back to the point where we could get to know her again. And uh just radically changed radically changed my life and I followed suit. When I was sixteen I attempted it.

And um Lots to talk about there, but how about you? 866-348-3. 788486634 Truth. We are so honored to have with us today Carrie Sheffield. She has an amazing book, over 90,000 pages.

And through those 90,000 pages, she wrote also a wonderful song. And so I'm guessing that there's a story for you personally, as the God of All Comfort may have comforted you. in this way as well, Carrie. Yes, and Robbie, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. your story.

I'm so grateful to talk with you. Um and I'm grateful that you're here and Seems like you're thriving and Uh God bless your mom as well, and I'm glad that you were able to break that cycle.

So Uh, you're right. I wrote a book. called Motorhome Prophecies. It came out on March 12th of last year, and I've done Over 100 press interviews everywhere from Dr. Phil to Megan Kelly and Fox News with Shannon Bream and CNN and the Wall Street Journal.

So I've been around. I was in Winston-Salem last week speaking to the Winston-Salem Rescue Mission, which is an addiction recovery center for men. And I shared with them my book and The book is a story of growing up in a motorhome. It's called Motorhome Prophecies because my father claimed to be a. Mormon prophets.

He was later excommunicated by the Mormon Church, so I let folks know his behavior was not condoned by the LDS Church. And unfortunately over the course of a childhood of living in sheds and tents and motor homes. And all over, I ended up going to seventeen public schools and home school. And because of the abuse Four of my seven, I have seven biological siblings, and so with our mom, all ten of us. were always moving around and Eventually now into adulthood, four of my seven siblings have attempted suicide.

And I was suicidal, and my dad said he was suicidal. And I try to be as compassionate to my dad as possible in the book, even though he was abusive to us, because He had been raped as a child, and he said as an adult, that attack made him feel suicidal. And so. It really the book is about breaking generational trauma and generational curses. And that's why I I was in Winston-Salem was to share my story with these men who were in their own journeys to break their generational curses as well.

Oh yeah, they're there. They are. And Again, it's amazing how God shows up. In some of these deepest, darkest, lowest places of especially generational things like you're talking about. And so, if you're listening, you have a testimony.

Oh, do we love to hear?

However, we're weak. God is strong. 8663487884. 866348. Seven eight eight four.

And uh I know Carrie that something that occurred to me a little bit later through my own family. is that had I succeeded which actually attempted it three times Had I succeeded, I not only would have murdered myself, which that's kind of a no-brainer. But I would have not and I would have also murdered my children. And Murdered my grandchildren, and who knows how many generations thereafter.

So you're not just affecting. Your own generation, you've got all these generations going forward as well as the ones going backwards, right? Absolutely, and praise God that you. And God rescued you. I agree.

And it sounds like maybe you should go speak to the rescue mission too. I'm happy to connect to you there in Western Salem. But But you're right. I mean it is You know, the Bible talks a lot about with Father Abraham and Isaac and Jacob about generational blessings. And it but it also talks about the generational cursing and how the sins of the father can fall on the child.

That is You know, we see it in genetics sometimes with a predisposition to certain disorders like alcoholism, things like that. Mental illness can run in families also. You can have a genetic predisposition to depression or suicide or PTSD. And in my family's case also schizophrenia, I have two schizophrenia brothers. But the thing is, if there is a loving, compassionate hearing environment, those genetic expressions do not have to be manifest.

And so that's part of why I'm very cautious about making sure I keep my environment healthy now that, praise God, I'm on the other side of that too. and being able to have healthy boundaries. And I think So sometimes that's people when you when you're in a journey of healing And I don't know where you are. if your mom's still alive or what that was like. But Sometimes in families when you're going through healing, They're people who aren't healed.

and don't want to heal. They don't like that you're healing. and they try to drag you down and It's hard because you love them and you also want to help them. But you also can't let them drag you down when they have no desire to hac heal to heal themselves. You know, that's That's why Jesus asked the man at the pool of Bethenza.

He said, Do you want to be healed? And this is a man who had sat there for 38 years. And instead of saying yes to Jesus, he said, I make excuses why I'm not healed, you know? And so when someone is in the throes of mental illness or depression or anxiety. And I'm speaking from experience, having gone through it.

I spent three days in a psych unit because I was so suicidal from physical pain. That I wanted to die, I was looking at assisted suicide, in fact, because I was in such physical pain. And I checked myself into the psych unit because I didn't want to be live anymore. But I had to make that decision, and that's what they say in AA treatment also. You have to make that decision yourself.

Nobody can make it for you. That's beautiful. Absolutely. And so that my mother uh Totally recovered. From some amazing work by a Christian psychiatrist who helped her see that she had lost a baby.

Um in childbirth and some generational stuff that she had With her grandmother, and what she was dressed in, when she actually attempted suicide, was what she last saw her grandmother in. And and the healing that she then re Received was absolutely miraculous as she went on to have a very fruitful life as a nurse. She went to nurse training. After that, after her recovery, became a nurse, won lots of awards for that, and it was even written up in. I'm trying to think it wasn't our daily bread, but the other A magazine And When I became the Christian car guy, a lot of people that listen to the Truth Network would know that my mother, before she went to be with the Lord, oh, she called in all the time and she would share some amazing stories.

So Like you said. God shows up and he does amazing things. And so I know you're listening and you've been touched by this because it touches so many. We would love to hear from you. 866-348-7884.

866-348-7884. Where have you been touched by this? This idea of suicide, depression, we can all learn from each other. We would love to learn from you.

So don't hesitate to call. Where are we weak? God makes us strong. And people can relate, believe me.

So thank you, Carrie. We'll be right back with a whole lot more Truth Talk Live. Truth talk line. Welcome back to Truth Talk Live. Today we're talking about how have you been touched?

by suicide, by depression. maybe in your own family, maybe in your own story. We would love to hear How you have walked through that eight six six three four eight seven eight eight four I know a lot of a lot of folks like my wife. who lost her brother to suicide. And then they struggle with, you know, will I ever see him again?

Maybe you have some thoughts along those lines. We would love to hear it. Where is God in this? 866-348-7884. We are so blessed, really blessed, to have Carrie Sheffield with us.

She wrote the book Motorhome Prophecies, which sounds like quite the adventure. Um, as sh she um How many elementary schools, or how many schools did you say you attended? When you were growing up? I went to seventeen public schools and home school.

So living in a motorhome, you can do home school from anywhere. And I'm I'm pro homeschool when it's done right, but unfortunately Uh for us it was just a way of evading accountability for my dad and his abuse and mental illness.

So it's uh it's unfortunate, but you know, I I was really touched as you were talking about your mom and the witness of her life, Robbie, that she was able to find healing from A question. Psychologists. And I think that's exactly why I do the work I do now. I founded a nonprofit called Healthy Faith. And it's sprung out of my book, Motorhome Prophecies.

And I founded Healthy Faith as an Educational campaign to let folks know about the strong tie between faith and mental health, because you have it on both sides.

So within the mental health industry, which is Therapists, psychologists, people who work in the drug industry for psychiatric drugs. It's a very secular industry, and around 70% of therapists are atheist or agnostic, which is way higher than the general population. Because 80% of people say they do believe in God. And so you have this big mismatch between the therapists who are treating people and what the people believe. And and as a result, There's great research from a guy named doctor David Rosemarin at Harvard Medical School.

He's devout Jewish. He's a practicing believer in the Jewish faith. And his research has found At McLean Hospital, which is the research hospital for Harvard Medical School, that 76% of mental health care patients say, I want spiritually integrated mental health care. And yet 71% of therapists say, I have little to no training in how to do that. And therefore, the recipe for that The result in that recipe is that patient care suffers because.

the overwhelming amount of evidence suggests that religion, faith practice, prayer. individual practice and community faith practice. is strongly correlated with low depression, low suicide. low addiction and overall positive well-being. And I wrote the book because I I grew up in An environment of religious abuse.

And what's interesting is that there are a few studies that go. a negative relationship between religion and mental health. And I would put my family's story in that camp because sometimes you do have people abusing religion. and they use it to control people and harm people. But that those are outliers.

The vast majority of people have faced benefit greatly in their mental health. Through uh through faith and religion and prayer so And your mom is a testament to that. Oh, she was. Absolutely beautiful, amazing. Led to so many things.

We have Michael in Indiana, has a comment for us. Michael, you are on Truth Talk Live. We're interested. Ah, yeah, I've actually called and weighed in from this because I've uh suffered from this type of childhood also. And um I don't know if I was calling to weigh in or maybe just ask for a little more insight.

Oh, we would love to give you some, believe me.

So I'm going to see. You know, in your story, can you You know, and again, we're going to ask for God's help in that, but can you share a little bit more your story for us, Michael? Oh yeah, my brother from uh about nine to eleven. was molested by a gentleman who raped me at nine. And we're about three years apart, he's older.

And then the gentleman left. And um My brother assumed he was going to become harmed by it, so just hid this from my family. And a few years after that, whenever I was about 14, my mom died of cancer. just kind of Right, it's a tragic sounds absolutely tragic. How about your brother now?

Where is he at? Yeah. He's actually in prison. Oh, I'm sorry. I am really, really sorry.

And so. Where are you hoping to get some answers, Michael?

Well, I feel like I'm looking in the right spot because I'm now. stop trying to control everything. And um Just allow God to direct me? Scared them. Yeah.

Putting my effort there. Thank you.

Well, so carry your thoughts. Michael, I'm crying right now. I'm so sorry that happened to you. New product. And I do think what you're doing though is exactly the right thing.

Because When we do suffer child abuse. our instinct is to want to control everything. And that's what I heard you say. that you were trying to control everything. And I'll link it.

the natural response to the chaos and the abuse. By the way, can I give you a piece of advice? You said that. This gentleman raped you. Don't call him a gentleman anymore.

He's not a gentleman. He's a criminal. He should have been a criminal. What is that? Yeah.

Yeah, it's the most of them are known. You know, I hope uh is me alive. What? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I I d I don't know the laws around Statute of limitations, but he obviously should have. Mm-hmm.

So he There's actually about to be unfortunate interaction because his father's dying, and I'm trying to do everything civil. Yeah. Well, and and that's the other part I was going to say is that There has to be forgiveness, and I it sounds like you're kind of in that place, you know, because. The subtitle of my book is the title is Motorhome Prophecies, and the subtitle is A Journey of Healing and Forgiveness. And forgiving this criminal who assaulted you if you haven't already.

That is A big way to release yourself. and to find peace and freedom. Uh I talk in the book, I had a forgiveness mentor who helped me to forgive my father. And He wrote a book, which is an amazing book, which I also recommend. The title is Called to Forgive.

And his name, he's a pastor down in South Carolina in Charleston. Um his name is Anthony Thompson. And his wife was murdered by a white supremacist. He's black, his wife is black. And it was in the news because this guy Rose.

to hunt down black people specifically at this black church in Charleston. And Michael, or my friend, excuse me, Anthony, he. He forgave him. He forgave the murderer. murdering his wife and it was heard around the world and It was this shocking moment because there were multiple family members who, in the bond hearing for this murderer, they said to him over and over, I forgive you, I forgive you, give your life to Christ.

And it was this national news story. About forgiveness, and I was able to meet him, and he became a friend and mentor. One of the things he talks about in his book is Difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. I'm sorry, we got to go to a break in the middle of this, Carrie and Michael. I know we're going to be carried over for those who want to hear the rest of this show that may not be in markets at Carrie.

You can go to truthnetwork.com, it'll still stream. When we come back, we got a whole lot more to talk about with Michael and Carrie, but we would love to hear from you as well. 866-348-7884. We'll be right back. Welcome back to True Talk Live.

Today's show we're talking about how have you, how have you in your life been touched by depression, touched by suicide, and certainly We've been so blessed to have a wonderful caller, Michael, on the line with us as well as Carrie Sheffield, the author of Motorhome Prophecies. And if I could jump in here for you real quick, Michael, with some thoughts on my own. abuse that I had when I was a child along those lines. Um Was I had the most amazing experience with Jesus. You know, in Isaiah 61, it says.

you know, he came to bind up the broken hearted and set the captives free. And so as I walked through that abuse experience, With Jesus he showed me some things that I didn't see that were extremely helpful to me and maybe As you, number one, I couldn't recommend high enough that you spend a lot of time in prayer with Jesus over these things, the very things I'm going to talk about. Um Number one, He said to me, he he said, Robbie, you realize that you're innocence was stolen from you. And I'd never seen it that way. But the other problem was not just forgiving the perpetrator, but was forgiving myself, because I saw myself as being part of the reason all this was happening.

And so he kept, he actually was offering me, Jesus was offering my innocence card, and he said, Robbie, I need you to take this. And I was like, you don't understand. I'm guilty. I was part of this. I'm guilty.

I'm guilty. And he said, Robbie, you were doomed. He said I died for you. Is that not enough? And at the moment that I was actually able to forgive myself, it made it a whole lot easier to forgive the other people involved.

Um And Honestly, carrying that innocence card that Jesus gave us through his blood. is is an amazing way of working through that. The next thing I would say That John Eldridge teaches and Dan Allander both very strongly is that we make agreements and traumatic experiences like that. agreements like Now I'll never be a real man. Um Other things like that.

That are an agreement with a lie, and as long as we live under those agreements. Satan has power over us with those, and he's the accuser, and he will continue to accuse you along those lines. And so it's extremely helpful to go in and renounce those agreements, break those agreements with Jesus's help. As he can help you break those agreements and send your accuser right to where he belongs, which is to the judgment. of Christ.

And um You know, those were things that I would add as well, Carrie. Uh did you have anything Or maybe Comments about what I said. I completely agree with you on the prayer, well, everything you said, I agree with, and on the prayer front. I don't know, Michael, if you've gone through there's are specific people who can help you pray through these. breaking of agreements It's new programs called Deep Healing Prayer Ministry, sometimes it's called Sozo Prayer Ministry.

But there are prayer ministers who will uh and not all churches have this so you might have to look around but That was transformative for me. I did deep healing prayer ministry with two women who were assigned to me and worked with me over a period of months, and we broke those agreements. And we did it systematically. You know, we did it, usually we did it on Zoom.

Sometimes we met in person, and the sessions could go for an hour and a half or two or three hours sometimes. And these ladies were amazing.

So it wasn't just like a casual going up after service and getting some prayer, which I fully endorse that too, and I do that all the time. really specific tailored one-on-one prayer Yeah. Transform my mind because what it is, is it in they call it in neuroscience. neuroplasticity when we're traumatized as children our brains. They're even more plastic as children and they create these trauma narratives that are wired into our brains.

And yes, their agreements. their their false narratives. They are depressing ourselves. And when we go through deep healing prayer ministry, we create a new brain and that's why Jesus says Go. Don't conform to the patterns of the swirl, they'd be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Neuroscience backs this up: that we would literally create new neural pathways. And Jesus reclaims every traumatic memory. That's what we would do when I went to my deep healing prayer ministry. We would talk through these memories. Yeah, and where two or more are gathered, you got that as well as You know, in James, if we confess this stuff one to another, then we get this healing that's promised.

that's in the book of James. Michael, how's that? It sounds amazing, and I'm actually feel like I am well. On my way to that point, I have been graced by a great therapist that's Christian. Wonderful.

And I have just an amazing wife that's been trying to support me in a In a task that she doesn't feel equipped at all. Oh, that's wonderful. And I have had to stop. Depending one hundred percent on me. That's been mine.

Is anything that's gone wrong in my life, I've accepted blame. But it is called It's caused depression in me that's just been very hard to break. Whenever anything goes wrong, it's a you know, why am I good enough? Why can't I try harder? Why can't I Then I tend to not have a bar.

I just shoot for the moon and hope to land somewhere. And some of that is your enemy coming and watching that stuff over you. And so it's really helpful to be on guard in prayer. And with that, Carrie, would you lead us into prayer? Uh for Michael.

Absolutely, would love to. And I'm so glad to hear the court and your wife and your therapist.

So praise God. I don't know. Holy Father, thank you for this time together. Thank you for our gathering here of three gathered and others listening. Lord, we Lift up your son, Michael, to you.

And we come against any lies that he may still believing be believing in his thoughts. that is in his subconscious. And we washed all of that clean in the blood of Jesus. And we break any curses that have been transmitted to him through this abuse and also for his brother as well. That These curses have no power over them.

And they are free. And they are victorious. in the blood of Jesus. and they are new creations. And we ask for your continued protection, your presence your Holy Spirit to go with them.

And also for your influence and your power to be in their lives. And especially with Michael, that He will be able to witness to others with the same power and authority that you are giving him now because you. Are breaking these chains, he will be able to help others break their chains as well. And so, we ask for that authority and anointing for him. We say all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.

Amen. Amen. Thank you so much, Michael. You honored us today, honestly. With your um You know, boldness to come forward and share all this with us.

It means the world. It does. God bless. Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

So we also have with us Tom, who who is a member, I understand Of Russ's Church. And by the way, if you've got a story, please call us 866-348-7884. 866-348-7884. Welcome, Tom. Hey, thank you guys for having me.

So I've been listening and I'm super encouraged by what I'm hearing. To clarify, I'm not a member of Russ's church, but Russ and I are friends, and he's had me as a guest on his show for the last four weeks and asked me to come just contribute some stuff.

So I'm just blessed to be here and be part of a good conversation.

So Wonderful. That's right. I you were on I guess last Monday, right? We were talking about uh the Greg Laurie event? Yes, sir.

That's wonderful. Absolutely. And so, do you know Carrie? No, but I'm in fact I wrote down the title of your book because I'm going to get it. It's interesting that this is the topic today because I've been navigating some trauma in my own life.

And learning a ton about it and helping others do the same.

So this is a. This is a fantastic topic, and especially having come from a background that is. LDS based. I also come from an LDS background.

So Um I'm just encouraged by what I'm hearing. Yeah, that's uh and I I l I you used the term carry of religious abuse. Um And A man. Uh that just word religion, you know, it Jesus suffered religious abuse, would you agree? Uh that yeah.

But yes, the Pharisees and the Sadducees, they they were the ones who got him killed.

So Um Yeah, absolutely. I mentioned that in the book. That Okay. religion at its best connects us and points us to God. religion at it at its worst, murderous side.

And That is what happened to me. It's part of why I became agnostic for 12 years because I had seen. such horrible things done to me and my family in God's name supposedly. And a lot of people Understandably, the same thing. I like to compare it to I heard a pastor once say, If I hear Beethoven's Fifth Symphony played badly, Do I blame Beethoven or do I blame The Symphony?

uh the musician. That's well said. I like that. Yeah, it's a great analogy for Christians. In Christianity, people who use the name of Christ to abuse, suppress or control or harm others, that's not the opposite of who Jesus was.

Uh and same thing with the law in the time of Jesus where The law was, as Jesus said, the law was to give life and Aye. It was to help your life. Your life was not meant. For the lock. Uh and he fulfilled the law.

And they didn't like that. The idea that God is not religion is one of the major themes of the book. And Tom, it's great to meet you. Were you at the Greg Laurie event in Utah?

So, I serve on staff at the Bridge Community in Centerville, Utah, and I've been here in Utah for the last. forty one years.

So Okay, that's wonderful. I know the question that's on everybody's mind, Carrie.

Well, we're waiting for your call because I know you're touched by this, and you've got a story, which, by the way, would encourage as many people as I can imagine. Michael encouraged.

So don't hesitate to call us, please. 866-348 7884. But Carrie, I'm thinking that we all want to know a little bit about your siblings. Like, how are they doing? I would imagine they're affected by Y your book or or or You know, your song or something along these lines, I hope.

Yeah, well, it's hard, and I say in the intro page. the authors note that I changed my siblings names for their own privacy. Um I don't delve deeply into their lives because It's their story to tell. I kind of only touched on what happens as it relates to me. Um, but it's been arranged.

One is actually in the hospital right now. One was arrested a couple weeks ago. Oh, wow. Hey, we got to go to a break again. I'm sorry, Carrie and Tom.

We'll be right back, hopefully, with your call. 866-348-7884. We would love to hear from you. Welcome back to Truth Talk Live. Today's question: We would love you to call in and share.

Have you been touched? by suicide? Have you been touched touched by depression? Is your family involved in that? How what have you seen as a result of that?

And where do you see God in it? Where have you seen God at work? And uh you know I guess I'm significantly older based on the videos that I've seen of you, Carrie. And uh Tom, but nonetheless uh I've had a chance to walk with my siblings a number of years, even after my parents have passed. And it was amazing.

to watch them one by one. Um come to Christ. Um And You know, the Lord blessed me to be a little bit involved in those things. Um with two of them. And But the thing I would relate to anybody at this point that wonders about their siblings, and I know you're praying for them.

And believe me, God hears. And and You know, all those things are in those bowls up there in heaven that are going to continue to work as long as. as they possibly can. But what I what I would say That the closer you get to God as an individual, that I've seen this chart before, it's beautiful of these little dots, and in some way we're all connected. And the closer you get to God, the closer the people in your sphere get because they're connected to you.

And so Push in to God. And it's amazing. I stand amazed at my age. to have seen you know what God did in my family and Um My siblings all are amazed that what Satan blew about as far apart as you could blow us apart. I have a brother in Tennessee, a sister in Um Lansing, Michigan or Ann Arbor, Michigan, and a sister that lives in Illinois.

So we couldn't hardly be further apart. If you don't know, I live in Winston-Salem. I actually live in Stokesdale, North Carolina. Um so it's amazing, uh, Carrie, that that how God can work. But it took you know, what whatever.

I think, you know, somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty years after I came to Christ before I I saw um God work in my family's life. Wow. Yeah, it's a long journey.

So I it'll be eight years for me on December 3rd, my baptism.

So I'm about a second grader right now in my block. But I I have had one sibling come to see. And he said it was in part. from Mike example. I have a sister who Has joined the Catholic faith coming out of LDS, and that has been helpful for her.

Um It's really sad. Four of my siblings are currently on disability and government welfare. And if I had a trust fund, I would be able to get them off, but I don't. But And with Saturday, they they all were healthy. Head.

you know, they didn't have any signs of any of these types of disorders. And it's been from the trauma and abuse because mental illness is highly correlated with abuse. Um and Thank you for encouraging me because I... I have said to God, it is the desire of my heart that all of my siblings are healed and we are all reconciled. But it can be hard, and I don't know if you saw this with your siblings, but Some of them have been jealous of my success that I've been able to stabilize and.

I got a full scholarship to Harvard. I worked on Wall Street. I founded my own business. And Some of them have tried to emotionally abuse me or Tear me down, and or they ask me for help, and then they turn around and. you know, insult me.

And I've really struggled with that. And I realize though that that is the spirit of Cain. That can enable where Cain fundamentally felt unworthy. He felt that his offering to God in the sacrifices compared to Abel's were. Not enough.

That was the first crime in the Bible. It was sibling rivalry. And once I kind of realized that, because it's It's hard because I know how much my siblings have suffered. And so my impulse was to always want to help them and to also just continue to take their abuse. But I have realized that They need to come and they need to decide they want to be healed.

And when they do decide that, then I am able to help them. But I cannot force them because we are made in God's image, and God's image is one of freedom. And free will. And so when we try to force someone, we are actually violating divine order. that we are made in God's image, which allows us free will.

And so that's what I've learned through all of this, and that I actually respect my siblings' free will much more than I used to because. Going back to our early conversation with Michael, I was always trying to control This situation, and I was trying to control their lives. Their lives were spinning out of control. They were having all sorts of problems, and they would not listen to my advice. And now I wait.

For them to decide with their free will that they want something different. And then I am very happy to tell them what Price has done for me. I love the way you you you process those things and You know, but it Uh your heart is amazing. As we can hear your love for everybody. in the situation and and again You know, we wait on God.

Tom, your thoughts? Sure.

Well, I actually, I'm thinking about this and what I've come to understand about trauma and. You'd mentioned that your siblings have Physical problems that they didn't have before because of trauma, and I can relate to that personally. The book, The Body Keeps the Score, has been phenomenal in helping me come to an understanding of that. But I think of a of the the thing that our brain does is it sets up a dam. and it tries to like block all these painful things that have happened to us while our body remembers it full scale.

And so Carrie, would you be able to provide some encouragement to somebody out there listening today who might be might be experiencing that down break. They're starting to remember things that happened to them. Maybe they're experiencing physical things. Could you provide some encouragement maybe, Bon, from your experience on how how they can navigate that, how they can get some help. Sure, and I'm sorry that you're experiencing that, Tom.

I have experienced that myself. Um I The way I describe it in my book is that in May of 2019, I woke up one day and it felt like I had a taser implanted in the back of my neck. And it just was pulsating, and the nerves in my neck just would not stop. And it was. more painful to lie down because it ended up pinching the nerves more than standing up.

And so I had really bad insomnia because I couldn't sleep. And it all just down spiraled from there. To this, just incredible physical pain. And that's when I started to look into. It's just a suicide because I was just like, I was a Christian at that point, but I was like, you know.

I can't. Imagine that God would want me to be in pain for the next four years or however many years I was going to live. And I checked myself into a psychiatric unit because this physical pain. Was so great, and I did not want to kill myself. And so I checked myself in.

And I was trying to figure out And when I was in the seg unit, I was in there with A bunch of drug addicts and alcoholics. And I have never smoked anything in my life. I used to drink, I don't now. I've never been an alcoholic or had problems with alcohol. Uh So I couldn't understand why I was in there.

Wait. people who are struggling with these chemical problems. And I realized that my physical pain was a manifestation of the trauma that had been trapped in my body, and I was.

So exhausted. I was running a media company, and I like to say by the end of four years, it was running me. And I was running it and running it. I was running myself ragged. Because I felt like I had to prove myself worthy.

And it was a deep embedded psychological belief that I needed to work. to prove myself. Instead of really fully loving myself and accepting myself and It was because those messages had been encoded into my body that I was deeply unworthy, even. And so finally my body said. You're done.

Okay. It had an intervention, and that's why I woke up with that pain. And it said, You're not going to work anymore. And I had to sell this company for pennies on the dollar and get out because. My body said you're done.

And so the advice I would give in that experience is And there are many different ways that this pain can manifest. But From what I've learned in my studies, my formal diagnosis was less fibromyalgia. I know people who have cancer and my brother has very bad diabetes. Um but physically We carry around a lot of this shame in our bodies. And there are a lot of practices that I've done that have helped me release that pain and release those.

memories. A big one was what we talked about earlier, the deep healing prayer ministry, because that rewires our brain and that changes different pain signals. Uh to our body. once the brain is rewired.

So that's the number one is to get get really good therapy because that will change the messages that are being encoded in your body. I also personally do a lot of hot yoga. I know some Christians don't agree with yoga. I personally engage in hot yoga because hot yoga is very good for the limbic system to help it Slow down. I do not engage in any of the Hindu cants or practices, religious rituals that go along with it.

To me, it's just. Doing a lot of really good stretches that have been done for thousands of years in a very hot room. And I find it, to me, it has been a godsend. Uh I also recommend Acupuncture. as well as Uh There is something, there is an injection that has been approved by.

The VA, the veteran. administration for veterans who have PTSD. We've just got a few seconds left, and I want to give that to you. You've got a YouTube song. About the thing, and just go ahead and share people how they can get your book, how they can get the song.

TerrySteffill.com or Google the book Motorhome Prophecies. There you go. Thank you all so much for listening today. You can listen to the podcast. Mm-hmm.