“What a Tangled Web” (Part 1 of 2)

Welcome to Truth for Life where we're kicking off 2025 with a study in 2 Samuel. Alistair Begg begins by considering the long-term consequences King David faced because of his sin with Bathsheba. When we face temptation we often assume our choices only affect ourselves in the moment, but as we trace the devastating lifelong ripple effects of King David's sin, we'll see how it extended throughout his kingdom and affected his family. Come join with me to 2 Samuel and to chapter 13. And I should probably just say, as I read this passage and before we seek to look at it together, that in some ways this talk should have not a government health warning, but it should have a little asterisk that says, For mature audiences only. And I don't mean that in any superficial way at all. Some of you are here with your children this morning, and I want you to know before we actually turn to this passage that some of the material that we deal with may not be the kind of material that you want to have coming to your children in this context, but may be the kind of material that you would rather deal with at another time and in another way. I say that not to dissuade anybody or to end with a mass exodus of young people, but out of courtesy and out of a genuine concern for you in your parental responsibilities.

Having said that, I will tackle it with as much care as I can. Second Samuel 13 verse 1. Now Absalom David's son had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon David's son loved her. And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimea, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man. And he said to him, O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning?

Will you not tell me? Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. Jonadab said to him, Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, Let my sister come and give me bread to eat and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand. So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. And when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, Please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand. Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go to your brother Amnon's house and prepare food for him.

So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house, where he was lying down. And she took dough and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and baked the cakes. And she took the pan and emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Send out everyone from me.

So everyone went out from him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, Bring the food into the chamber that I may eat from your hand. And Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. But when she brought them near to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, Come, lie with me, my sister. She answered him, No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel. Do not do this outrageous thing. As for me, where could I carry my shame?

And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you. But he would not listen to her. And being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, Get up, go. But she said to him, No, my brother, for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.

But he would not listen to her. He called the young man who served him and said, Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her. Now she was wearing a long robe with sleeves, for thus were the virgin daughters of the king dressed. So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore.

And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went. And her brother Absalom said to her, Has Amnon your brother been with you? Now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother.

Do not take this to heart. So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom's house. When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. But Absalom spoke to Amnon, neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had violated his sister Tamar.

Amen. Well, for those of you who may be visiting, we are now this morning resuming our studies in 2 Samuel. We had left off some weeks ago at the end of chapter 12. And as you could tell from the reading of the passage, what we have here in chapter 13—not only in the first half, but also in the second half too—is what we would have to say is a most distasteful section of the Bible, and at the same time a disturbing passage of Scripture. In fact, we may find ourselves asking the question, Why would it ever be contained in the Bible?

And indeed, one of the amazing facts of Scripture is that it is not airbrushed in any way, that it contains the stories of the lives of those whom God has chosen and whom God has used, representing not only when they're at their best but also recording for us when they're at their worst. And so, any temptation we might have to skip it, we have to resist. And in fact, one of the benefits of doing what we do in our study of the Bible—and that is seeking to work systematically and consecutively through books of the Bible—means that it is very hard for the Bible teacher to skip anything, because the congregation knows where we were and therefore knows where we should be. And so let's just remind ourselves of, if you like, two controlling passages that we keep in mind when we're studying the Bible, and particularly when we're studying the Old Testament. Sometimes, since I quoted Romans 15.4, for everything that was written in the past was written to teach us so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. So we come to this passage in light of what Paul is saying there—also in light of what Paul reminds Timothy of, recorded for us in 2 Timothy 3 and 15. He says to Timothy, You've become convinced of this, you've known this from since you were a little boy, namely, that the sacred writings are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. So the expectation that we have in studying the Bible, old and new, is that God the Holy Spirit may be pleased to use his Word, which he has saved for us and given to us, in order that we might endure, that we might be encouraged, in order that we might have hope, and indeed, in order that we might come to an understanding of salvation. With that said to the chapter before us, chapter 12 concludes, as you will see, with David returning to Jerusalem. We learned that God in his mercy had forgiven David's sin.

He was involved in adultery, he was involved in murder, the record, the sorry record, in chapter 11. We made note of the fact, however, that although God in his mercy forgave his sin, the consequences of his actions were going to follow him throughout the remainder of his life. And we were helped—I was, and I think you were too—by Alec Matias' observation that repentance is like fetching back a stone that has been thrown into a pool of water.

Inasmuch as the stone can be recovered, but the ripples go on spreading. And so we come to chapter 13 in the awareness of the fact that the pronouncement, the curse, that was made upon David and on his house from the lips of Nathan in chapter 12 is now beginning to tumble in on David and on his children. And if you want, you can remind yourself of that. It is verse 10 and 11 of 2 Samuel 12. Therefore, says Nathan to David, the sword will never depart from your house, because you've despised me, you've taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife. Thus says the LORD, behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house, and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of the sun.

The whole sorry saga is not all contained, unfortunately, in one chapter. We have seen David at his best. We met him as the man after God's own heart.

In the heart of God there was an affection for, an interest in, a purpose and a plan for this man David. But the glory days are now in the past. And here his life begins to tumble into ruin. It becomes increasingly a shambles, one of decay.

By the time he is an old man, he's at the mercy of others, and he's only a shadow of himself. Now, one of the obvious reasons that a chapter like this is before us is in order that we would be left in no doubt that sin brings disaster into human lives, that to turn our backs on God, to reject his law, to seek to go in our own direction, will bring into our lives chaos and darkness. It is also, I think, important for us to recognize that despite the fact that you can find stories like this on Netflix and Amazon Prime, which is a sorry representation of the immoral state of our twenty-first-century Western culture, despite the fact that some of us have become inured to events like this, we are not supposed to be intrigued by what takes place here.

We are supposed to be repulsed by it. And for that reason, I don't want to belabor any part of it. I want to move through it, if you like, almost as quickly as I can. I don't want to try and force on it any kind of external structure that is arbitrary. I want us just to follow the storyline, to do so without elaboration and trying to make application as is applicable along the way.

So, here we go. Now Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister. How come she was so beautiful?

Because God made her that way. The same God who made Bathsheba beautiful. The same God who made Abigail beautiful.

The same God who fashions everybody according to his own plan and purpose. And as we've seen before, now we see again that good looks bring their own challenges. And that challenge is not only that which falls to Tamar but that which comes to those who look upon her. She is a royal princess. And as a royal princess, the picture that we have of her is, if you like, tragic in its beauty. It is ultimately a dreadful picture, because she is the focus of Amnon's affection. Or, better still, she is the focus of Amnon's attention. After a time, Amnon, David's son, loved her. Now, she was a stepsister to Amnon. And this fellow, we're told, loved her. In actual fact, love is the wrong word here.

The reason—I'm not suggesting that it was put in the Scripture incorrectly, but we immediately read it wrongly if we think that he was, you know, predisposed to her, he liked to take her out for coffee, he liked to go around with her for a little while, maybe ride bicycles in the park and so on, and he'd often thought of writing her little notes and so on. No, not for a moment. No.

No, no. He is besotted with her. He's infatuated with her. He is tormented by her.

That is what is being described here. And incidentally, there is no indication in the text that she was aware at any point of this. There is nothing to suggest that she was alert to what was going on, if you like, in his bedroom. The problem for him, we're told, is that she was unattainable. What is meant here by the fact that she was a virgin and it seemed impossible, the commentators differ on it, it's not worth spending time on? The point is, he couldn't get her. That's the point.

That's what we're being told. He was consumed with thoughts of her, because of all the feelings that he had for her. What kind of feelings did he have for her? Presumably the same kind of feelings that David had up on the roof in the late evening, when others were out doing battle. Notice, too, that it says, not it seemed impossible for him to marry her or it seemed impossible for him to be with her, but it seemed impossible—verse 2b—to Ammon to do anything to her.

Now, that verb there, I think, is very, very important. So what we have is infatuation, imagination, objectification, and self-grantification. For Ammon, it is not just Saturday night fever. It is every night fever. You remember Saturday night fever? Bee Gees?

Remember it? If I can't have you, I don't want nobody, baby. If I can't have you. He goes to his bed, thinking it. He sleeps, presumably dreaming it.

He wakes up desiring it. That is the context. Now, you will notice in verse 3 that he had a friend. Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend? Well, not always, because it depends what kind of friend you have. I always tell young people, you know, make sure you choose your friends wisely, because there are friends in whose company it's easy to do good, and there are friends in whose company it's easy to do bad. You know the difference.

Everybody at school knows the difference. And this nephew of David's, we're told, was crafty. Or he was wise.

Or he was, if you like, street smart. He was the kind of fellow who makes things happen. He was the kind of chap who, quote, "...gets things done." Which, in a positive realm, you want to have him on your sales team. He can figure out how we can move the product, how we can make sure that we meet the challenges, and so on.

It is commendable when it's used in the right direction. But this fellow had craftiness without ethics. This guy had initiative without integrity.

That's the problem. And he knew Amnon well enough to recognize that Amnon, somehow or another, was messed up. He said to him, verse 4, "'O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning?'" It's a super word, haggard, isn't it? It's a dreadful thing when you realize that it fits your face when you look in the mirror in the early hours of the morning. Why are you so haggard?

Not just every so often, but every single morning, you look like a mess. Well, and he's told. Well, let me tell you, he says, "'I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.'"

Well, of course, the action man will have an action plan, and that's exactly what he's got. What a tragedy this is! Because this was a real crossroads, wasn't it? What I suggest to you, Amnon needed at this moment was a Joseph, not a Jonadab. He needed a Joseph fellow who, remember, when he was under the seductive initiatives of Potiphar's wife, responds by saying, How could I do such a thing and sin against God?

That was what was needed at this point, at this intersection on the journey. That's the kind of friend you want. You want the kind of friend who's able to quote Proverbs to you, who's able to take you to Proverbs chapter 5.

Why should you be intoxicated with a forbidden woman? That's Solomon, Proverbs 5. That's the kind of friend we need. Not the Mr. I'll get it done for you. Not I can show you how you can achieve this. He had a friend.

Not a good friend. And so he comes up with a process. Very skillful, as you will see, because he's able to involve David in the process. He's gonna inculcate David in it.

It's genius! So let's use David to go to Tamar to get Tamar to come to you. That way, people will be able to say, Well, you know, David knew all about it.

Which, of course, he didn't. When your father comes to see you—so presumably they lived in two different houses. Presumably Amnon lived with his mom.

I don't know. When he comes to see you, you say to him, Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand. So, verse 6, Amnon went with the plan. He lay down, and he pretended.

He pretended to be ill. It's interesting, isn't it, that David, in receiving this word, does what his son wants—which he probably, in this case, should not have done—and Tamar obeys her father, which was the right thing for her to do, never anticipating what awaited her. So we're told that we find in verse 8, essentially, we have Tamar in the kitchen. He is lying down, and she made food in his sight.

So the picture, it would seem, is that this simply advances for him his sense of anticipation. From the vantage point of where he lies, he can see her. Given what's going on in his mind, the very experience of her presence and the activity in which she engages would be stirring to him.

Let me ask you a question. What do we see when we see her in the kitchen? I suggest you that I see her beauty, I see her kindness, I see her skill, and I see her compassion. Apparently, her brother is ill, in need of attention. She has the wherewithal to help him.

Don't you see all of those things? You're listening to Truth for Life with Alistair Begg. He'll continue this story tomorrow. On behalf of all of us here at Truth for Life, we want to wish you a joyful and blessed New Year. We are grateful to God for his provision and faithfulness. We're looking forward to another year of teaching the Bible. As we begin the New Year, I want to recommend that you supplement your daily listening to Truth for Life by reading from the devotional book written by Alistair.

And we're making it easy for you to do that today. We're offering volume 2 of Truth for Life, 365 daily devotions. It's our featured resource. It's yours by request when you give a donation to support the ministry. Each of the one-page readings present a passage of Scripture on which you can reflect, followed by a brief commentary from Alistair.

His biblically grounded meditations will take you deeper in your understanding of God's Word and will prompt you to consider how you can apply the lessons learned as you go through your day. Now our offices are closed today while our team celebrates New Year's Day with family and friends. And while no one is here to answer the phones, you can request the Truth for Life devotional volume 2 when you make a donation securely online at truthforlife.org slash donate. We'll be back in the office tomorrow, January 2nd from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern Time. I'm Bob Lapine. Thanks for starting a new year in God's Word with us. Tomorrow we'll conclude today's message with an important warning and learn the best question we can ask ourselves in any situation. The Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth for Life where the Learning is for Living.