Redirecting Our Families (Part 1 of 2)

As Christians, we're supposed to stand out, or stand apart, from the surrounding culture. So what exactly does that look like, following Christ and obeying God's commands? As we'll find out today on Truth for Life, it involves more than simply attending church every week.

Alistair Begg is preaching a message he's titled, Redirecting Our Families. In reference, let me read in your hearing—you needn't turn to it—these familiar words from Ephesians chapter 6. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. We had begun to lay down these foundational statements that when the Word of God is obeyed from the heart, first of all, it will realign the focus of those who obey it. And we said that in the realigning of focus, they had begun to think in terms of God's purposes as opposed to their preferences, they had begun to think in terms of their responsibilities as opposed to their rights, and they had in turn begun to think of the long-term effect as opposed to short-term enjoyment.

Now, each of these things has to be earthed somewhere to become immediately apparent, though they can be simply clichés, little statements that sound right and are right, but we have no way of knowing just what they mean until we put them in some concrete form and terms. And that's why it is so vitally important that we realize that after their generic promise, which is contained in the twenty-ninth verse of chapter 10, to obey carefully all the commands and regulations and the decrees of the Lord our God, that they then immediately earth it in relationship to the family. Well, what does this mean, that you're going to obey the commands of God? What does it mean, says somebody, that you plan to follow Christ and obey the Bible?

What does it mean that you say that you are a believer, our friends may ask? And of course, they have every reason to assume that if it means nothing in our homes, it means nothing. If it is something that is lost, contained simply in the dimensions of corporate worship, then presumably it means very little. Chuck Swindoll, expressing this truth succinctly, says, Whatever else may be said about the home, it is the bottom line of life, the anvil upon which attitudes and convictions are hammered out. It is the place where life's bills come due, the single most influential force in our earthly existence. No price tag can adequately reflect its value.

No gauge can measure its ultimate influence for good or ill. It is at home among family members that we come to terms with circumstances. It is here life makes up its mind. In other words, it is possible for us to put together a kind of external package, especially as it relates to worship and to religious expression, and for everybody nearest and dearest to us to know this. Once you get him beyond that pulpit, or once you get him out of that pew, it means relatively little. Now, to the degree that that could ever be true is indicative of the fact that we need to come to terms with the implications of what it means to obey God's Word from the heart. And it will have an immediate impact upon family living. If you have a disobedient father who lives in isolation from and in abhorrence of the rule and law of God, it will have a detrimental effect within the home.

And some of us this morning know that to our deep sadness. And it is a cause for great concern, and we find comfort only on a morning like this in recognizing that ultimately, when we think in terms of fatherhood, we are able to say, Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be your name. Now, if, then, parents are going to take seriously the issues of anchoring their faith within the framework of the home, then it will be expressed at least in these three ways. First of all, in the gathering of our families, then in the guiding of our families, and then in the giving of our families. We said last time that to obey God's Word from the heart will realign our focus. Secondly, to obey God's Word from the heart, we're saying it will redirect our families.

Well, how? Well, first of all, it will determine where we gather, why we gather, and how we gather as families. Turn back to what have proved to be pivotal verses in these studies, back to chapter 8 and to verse 2. All the people assembled as one man in the square before the Watergate, they told Ezra the scribe to bring out the book, and on the first day they gathered together an assembly which were told to be, was made up of men and women and all who were able to understand. One of the impressive features of this whole record is the solidarity and unity of these families.

Various names are mentioned, and they're mentioned as being representative of the families that gathered around them, and in this case, gathered with them. This, incidentally, is what underpins our philosophy of ministry here in relationship to families. We want to say always and carefully that the responsibility for the nurturing, training, and establishing of the faith of families falls to the parents primarily. That there is no Sunday school program, there is no youth group that will be able to take up and redress the balance of parents unprepared to give ourselves to the hard task involved in the challenge of establishing our children in these things. It is incidental, apparently, but it is important that the group that gathered on this occasion comprised individuals who were able to understand. And that is why we do not encourage people to bring infants into the congregation in this way, because they cannot understand.

And those who gathered could understand. And therefore, it is an imposition on their tiny existence. It's usually an imposition on the parent who has custody of the child.

And it is almost inevitably an imposition on the people who are around them, who, with an ability to understand, are finding it hard to understand why it would be that these individuals would not take use of the opportunities for their child's care. That's why we do it. And we may not always say it as clearly and as nicely as that, but that's why we do it. Now, the whole issue—and you'll find this if you come back to 10—the whole issue of gathering as families was not incidental. Because when you go back to chapter 10 and verse 28, we're told that the rest of the people, along with the various identifiable groups, gather together—now, notice this—with their wives and all their sons and daughters—here we go again—who were able to understand. This was a purposeful gathering. And they were coming together, not out of a sense of slavish observance, not out of a sense of a dull routine.

And it's possible to do that. You may have come to worship that way today. I feel sorry for you if you did. Oh dear, we've got to go. Oh, it's time. We have to go. Why do we have to go? I don't know why we have to go. We just have to go. Oh well, I suppose we should go. Yes, why don't we go? And you go.

And you're here. And there's no heart in it. There's no mind engaged in it. I don't know why you would do it.

I don't know why you would pass all these wonderful golf courses to come here out of a sense of slavish obligation. That is not why they gathered. They gathered because the book of the law was going to be read. And they said to one another, we want to hear this book. And then when they heard the book, their hearts were stirred. And then they said to one another, we want to do what the book says. And then it was said that they were going to read the book again tomorrow. And they said, well, we'll be back again tomorrow so that our hearts may be stirred afresh and our lives may be changed anew.

Without that, the expectation level may be so low as to leave us with nothing other than the simple slavish external observance of rules and regulations. I was told in chapter 8 that the joy of the people was very great. When the book was read, they wept, and after Namai had wiped their tears for them, then they laughed, and then they ate, and then they went away and told people, and then they came back, and they wept, and they laughed, and they ate, and they told, and life went on.

They certainly weren't sitting in rows just like nothing you have ever seen. There was a vibrancy about their participation in it all. That, you see, is what makes preaching worship, not performance. Because involved in preaching is everybody. Those who believe, who are praying, Lord, speak to me and speak to others.

The one who speaks, who is praying, may it be your word that is heard. And it is imperative that we learn to gather our children together within this kind of framework. Think it out. Every gathering that we as parents make optional for our children allows them to assume that it is a matter of indifference to us. Everything that we make optional for our children allows them to assume that it is a matter of indifference to us. I see myself in the rearview mirror, and I see others scurrying here, there, and everywhere, taking them here, picking them up, taking them there, picking them up, getting them there, bringing them back, putting them here. And the children say, Why do we do all these things? Why are we going all these places?

Legitimate question. Half the time the answer is, Because you want to go, and I'm just a taxi driver. But there are other times when we're saying, We want you to participate in this. This will be good for you. You're going to enjoy this. You'll enjoy working here. You'll be surprised how it will form your character. I don't want my character formed. Be quiet, it's going to be formed.

Get moving, all right? And we declare by our instruction what is important to us. Now, when it comes to Saturday night at ten o'clock and the bellyaching starts about the plans for Sunday, then we show whether by our hearts and our minds and our eyes and our interests, we show to our children whether we're sincere about what's about to take place on the Lord's day. And if all that we have as moms and dads is some kind of slavish observance of an external framework, our children are quick to pick that up. And they will go along with it for a while. But the first chance they get, they'll cut the umbilical cord, and they will be gone.

Unless we have been able, as Deuteronomy 6 says, to convey from our hearts to our children's hearts just how important this is. As the World Cup began here, and as I was watching already some of these games, I was recalling the fact that in the year that the World Cup came from Mexico, which was 68 or 72 or something, they came into Britain, the games, in the middle of the night—one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock in the morning. And my father used to set the alarm clock and wake me and make me tea, and we would watch these games together at two in the morning.

Total craziness. And especially since my dad didn't really like soccer that much. But for fifty-two games' worth, we got up in the middle of the night declaring it a priority.

So we would get up in the middle of the night to watch twenty-two men kick a bag of wind around a field. But we won't get up early in the morning to establish in the hearts and minds of our children the priority of the gathering of God's people. And when we gather together on the Lord's Day evening and our children look into our eyes and say, Not again! We then declare where our hearts are and our priorities are, and you can stay home and play games with your children, but so can the pagans, so can the unbelievers. But only those whose hearts have been fashioned by faith will consider it a priority to establish the gathering of our families.

Life goes by very, very quickly, does it not? And all of our yesterdays are over, and all of the days gone by are by. But today is the start of the rest of our lives. So we will gather our families. Secondly, we will guide our families. If we're going to take seriously the Word of God in our hearts, we will establish the guidance of our families. Not simply on the basis of our own little personal preferences or our own little family values, because there are plenty again of plenty wonderful families who play games and spend time together, but they're devoid of any knowledge of God. What is it that makes the Christian family distinctive? It is the fact that they gather within the framework of the instruction of God. I'm not going to go back and reiterate the wonderful story of the reading of the law in chapter 8 and then the discovery of the fact that they were supposed to build booths and have a wonderful celebration on their rooftops and in their courtyards. I've mentioned it to you before. It bears repetition.

I move quickly by it. But when they all went and heard the Word of God proclaimed, they then went out from there, and the children heard, and the parents heard, and they heard that there was supposed to be the building of booths. So the children inevitably had the question in their minds, Are we going to do it? I'm not calling this congregation to a standard that doesn't wrestle my own heart to the ground.

To give any impression that saying these things is representative somehow of a hundred percent success in the doing of them is to create an illusion in the minds of the listeners and is to create craziness in the mind of the speaker. Children are inevitably going to ask, Are we going to do it? And on that occasion, the father said, Yes, we're going to do it. We're going to go and gather sticks. I don't want to gather sticks, and we're going to build little booths.

I don't want to build a booth. And furthermore, we're going to build them on the roof, and after that, we're going to sleep in them. So when the school bus comes, if you're not up in time, your friends are going to see you coming out of this thing on the roof. See, the more and more and more that we are absorbed into the culture, the more that we endeavor to tell people that Christians are just the same as everybody else, the less we have the opportunity to bear the distinctions which mark the people of God. And there needs to be on the part of parents what we find here in these chapters, the clear emphasis to establish biblical principles in the hearts and minds of our children. When the Jewish people established instruction for their kids, it was very, very clear.

They didn't leave anything to doubt. They wanted every one of their children to understand that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. They wanted their children to know that the reason they were not left to their own devices was because they were immature and they were sinful. The kid says, Well, why can't you just leave me at home? I'm seventeen, I have a driver's license, and I'm smart. Don't you trust me? No. Why not? Because of Psalm 51.5. Oh, why do you keep bringing the Bible up? Because the only thing we can bring up. What does Psalm 51.5 say? Well, look it up for yourself.

So they go and they look it up. Go up in their room, Psalm 51.5. 51, I don't know. Where's Psalm? Before Proverbs? I don't know. Oh, surely I was sinful at birth?

Sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Was it 51.5? Yeah. Oh, I got it. All right. All right. Yep. Yep.

I'm not sure I accept it, but I got it. Now, these things underpin their instruction. No foolish stuff. No silly stuff.

Basic biblical foundational principles to guide our children, to establish them. It is absolutely daunting. It is devastating. It is demanding.

It some days is totally impossible. Without the help of God, I don't know how you do this stuff. We're finding out in this series how important it is for us to understand scripture so that our words and our lives reflect God's truth to our children first and then to a watching world. That's why we teach the Bible every day here on Truth for Life, and we strive to do it in a way that is easy to understand and relevant to contemporary life. It's our constant prayer that God will use the Bible teaching on this program to convert unbelievers into committed followers of Jesus, to bring believers to a closer relationship with God, and to build up the local church so that the faith will be passed forward to future generations. And we want to invite you to join us in this mission. All of Alistair's teaching is made freely available because listeners like you pray for the ministry and make donations to cover the cost of distributing these messages through a variety of channels, radio, online, mobile apps, podcasts, and a variety of streaming options. In fact, our truth partners are the backbone of this listener funded ministry.

These are listeners who come alongside us through prayer and monthly giving. When you sign up to be a truth partner, you choose the amount you want to give. So if you're looking for a way that you can share God's word with others, keep in mind that your partnership with Truth for Life will help deliver biblical teaching to a worldwide audience. You can join this important team by signing up today.

Go to truthforlife.org slash truth partner or call us at 888-588-7884. Now we have monthly resources that we make available to our truth partners. You're invited to request them each month. And today we're recommending an Advent devotional titled O Come, O Come, Emmanuel. It's a collection of 40 daily readings that will take you through the Advent season from November 28th this year to January 6th.

That's the day of Epiphany. Each day's reading is organized to give more meaning to your celebration and direct your focus to the true significance of Christmas, the grace and glory of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. You'll follow a set pattern of worship each day known as a liturgy that includes a passage of scripture, songs of praise, a reflection on what we believe, along with prayers of adoration, confession and praise. Request your copy of O Come, O Come, Emmanuel today when you sign up to become a truth partner or when you give a one-time donation at truthforlife.org slash donate. Now as you immerse yourself in God's word during the Advent season, it's likely that you will want to continue that pattern, that habit. And to help you, we want to recommend Alistair's daily devotional titled Truth for Life, 365 Daily Devotions. This devotional will guide you through daily scripture meditations for a full year. Alistair's corresponding commentary will encourage you to consider how you can think differently, how you can reorder your affections based on what you've learned. Both volumes one and two of the Truth for Life daily devotional are available at truthforlife.org slash store for our cost of just $8 each.

Shipping in the U.S. is free. I'm Bob Lapine. Thanks for listening. Hope you have a great weekend and are able to worship with your local church. Monday we'll learn why our children need us to be their parents, not their pals. The Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth for Life where the Learning is for Living.