Marriage and Divorce (Part 2 of 2)

Because the Bible makes it clear that God's design for marriage is for it to be a lifelong commitment, there are cases where remarriage may be considered adultery. Today on Truth for Life, we'll discover three biblical reasons why a person may remarry. Alistair Begg is teaching from 1 Corinthians chapter 7, we're in verses 8 through 16. Now when you take these verses in 1 Corinthians 7 and the verses in Mark chapter 10, you will notice what we find again and again, that the commitment to marriage by a man and a woman is for life, it is underwritten by God, and it is not to be tampered with by human beings.

The bottom line for anybody considering the possibility of divorce is this—don't consider it. That's what he's saying here in 1 Corinthians 7, is it not? That's what he's saying.

Now, we're not considering any exception clauses at the moment. This is what he's saying here, as they heard it read for the first time in their fornicating society, how it must have pinned their ears back against their heads. Can he really be saying what he's saying? You mean, we're stuck like this, and the only option is reconciliation or celibacy? Exactly, says Paul.

Those are your options. Now, many of you know your Bibles well enough to know that if we turn back to Matthew chapter 19—and you probably should, especially those of you who don't—Matthew chapter 19, Jesus, in addressing the subject of divorce and remarriage, qualifies the categorical statement from which we just read in Mark chapter 10. Same issue, the question of the folks concerning divorce, Jesus telling them that Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard, but it was not this way from the beginning. And then he says, Matthew 19, 9, I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery. Now, there is an exception phrase in the middle of it all. Notice. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife except for marital unfaithfulness and marries another woman commits adultery.

Okay? So we know that that exception clause is in there. We know that Jesus said that, and we know that Paul is not standing against that. We have, however, to ask the question, Why does Paul not introduce this exception clause in making this statement here in 1 Corinthians 7? I think that the most plausible explanation would seem to be that the background of these people was so filled with fornication and sin that if he had said to them, without the opportunity to sit face to face with them as individuals, if any of you have got any fornication in your lives anywhere, you can all get divorced. About eighty-five percent of the church would have had grounds to go and get divorced. And therefore, a lot of good marriages would have been ruined as a result of believers plumbing for the exception clause without ever needing it nor necessarily even wanting it.

Listen to me quote—let me give you a quote on this. The Christians at Corinth were not so firmly rooted in the reality of regeneration and renewal in the Holy Spirit as to give them the stability required to deal with a partner who raked up a murky past after a bitter domestic feud one difficult evening after a bad week at the office. The Corinthian believers were not stable enough in the truth to be able to deal with a marriage partner who decided to rake up some filth from the past because they'd had a fight and because he'd had a bad week at the office. If Paul, recognizing that people came from that background, were to give them the notion that because of unfaithfulness at any point in life divorce was possible or even inevitable, many of them, because of the context from which they had come, would presumably have gone ahead and got divorced, especially if you add to it the notion that there were people going around suggesting that singleness was the only way to be a real Christian.

So it was a perfect out for somebody. And that, I think, is the most plausible explanation as to why it is that Paul does not apply the exception at this point. Now, you will notice that this instruction is radical, and it is vital that we absorb it and that we apply it and that we resist the tidal weight of relativistic thinking in relation to these matters. I'm so discouraged with the emphasis on family values.

I'm so sick and tired of this claptrap. Family values can only be understood in the light of God's plan for the family—one mom and one dad, living together in monogamous faithfulness to one another. Family values negate categorically homosexual or lesbian marriages. Family values stand against the tidal wave of divorce and fracture and destruction. And so, unless we're prepared to talk about family values in the way that God said family values are to be addressed, why don't we just cash in our chips on the phrase and move on to something else we don't know anything about?

It is a sad and sorry state of affairs. Number three. Verse thirteen. Verse twelve.

What about the Christian married to an unbeliever who no longer wishes to be married to the believer? Now, the introductory phrase in verse twelve is a real cause for turmoil in many people's minds. Paul says to the rest, I say this, I, not the Lord. And people spend a long time in Bible studies saying, Well, does this mean that this is not inspired? No, it doesn't mean that.

It's not a denial of inspiration. Or is it an indication that Paul is giving his own human opinion? The phrase here that opens verse twelve is simply to say that God has not given any previous revelation on the subject, unlike what he has just quoted in verse ten. In verse ten, he was able to say, Now, we have previous revelation on this, therefore not I, but the Lord says it. Now, in verse twelve, he says, This is direct revelation.

Now, I as an apostle, speaking the very word of God, am addressing the subject with you. Now, it's very, very important as well that Paul should discriminate between what he said and what the Lord said, because there were people who were going around saying whatever they wanted to say and then saying, And this is what Jesus said. Indeed, Moffat, one of the commentators, says it is historically of high importance that Paul did not feel at liberty to create a saying of Jesus, even when, as here, it would have been highly convenient in order to settle a disputed point of Christian behavior. One of the charges in biblical criticism is that what you have, really, is a bunch of people who make up the statements of Jesus. Paul says, I'm not making anything up. The Lord didn't say this.

I'm saying this. It is authoritative. I as an apostle now speak. A wife must not separate from her husband. If she does—sorry, that's verse ten—to the rest, I say, to those who are not now married in the faith, but believers and unbelievers. If a brother has a wife who is not a believer, and presumably they married as unbelievers, and then the brother came to faith, if his wife is not a believer and she's willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.

And then he says the same thing in reverse concerning a woman and her husband. Everything hinges on the attitude, he says, of the unbelieving partner. Some in Corinth were doubtless teaching that a believer must never live with an unbeliever. After all, Paul himself had said that a Christian should not marry a non-Christian. So they would then deduct on the basis of that that if a Christian should not marry a non-Christian, and if they both started as non-Christians and one of them became a Christian, therefore, by the same kind of logic, presumably it was not right for a Christian to live with a non-Christian, since they weren't supposed to marry a non-Christian, and therefore they ought to go ahead and get divorced. And so Paul gives authoritative instruction and says, no, you're wrong.

Don't begin to think that way. If you've come to faith in Christ and your husband or wife hasn't, and they're happy to live with you, make sure that you continue to live with them. And then he gives this tremendous statement in verse 14, for the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. You see, the big question was, would the uncleanness of the unbeliever cancel out the cleanness of the believer? Would the lack of faith in the unbeliever cancel out the faith in the believer? Paul says no. In fact, the godliness of the one does much to sanctify the marriage.

Now, what does this mean? It clearly doesn't mean that a man or a wife becomes a Christian as a result of just living in the house with a Christian—kind of like a disease that you catch in the kitchen or something. He is rather teaching that there is a benefit which accrues to any other members of a Christian's family.

And some of us have been brought up in a family where just a mom or just a dad was a Christian. It certainly wasn't the perfect situation as in verse 10, but nevertheless, that Christian mom or Christian dad brought a kind of sanctifying influence on our home. And he is referring here to that kind of overall marital impact of a life of someone who prays and someone who worships and someone who believes in God. He says it spills over to the spouse, and indeed, it spills over to the children. This little sentence that ends verse 14—"Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy"—is often a concern to some.

Again, context helps us. There were people who were teaching, the rigorists, that sex was sin all the time, and so they would challenge it at every place. And these people taught that sexual relations, therefore, between a believing wife and an unbelieving husband, produced unclean children. Well, in point of fact, we know that all children are born in sin and shapen in iniquity, so the distinction that he is making here is not between saved and unsaved, but he is rebutting the notion that if you now had—one of you had become a Christian, and people out there in the church were telling you, you're gonna have to divorce that person, he says, no, you're not, and no, you shouldn't. Well, they said, if you don't divorce them, don't sleep in the same room as them. Because if you sleep in the same room as them, you know what your children will come out like.

And Paul says, don't you listen to any of that hogwash. You go ahead and fulfill all the benefits and blessings of marriage, and you rejoice in the fact that God will take care of your children. And you will have a sanctifying influence over them, even as you do over your spouse.

Listen to MacArthur on this. The sanctification is matrimonial and familial, not personal or spiritual. Although the believer's faith cannot suffice for the salvation of anyone but himself, he or she is often the means of other family members coming to the Lord. The cross-reference is 1 Peter 3. Let me deal with the last point ever so briefly.

He then goes on and mentions the fourth and final group. He addresses the Christian married to an unbeliever who is no longer willing to stay with the believer. This is verse 15. However, if the unbeliever leaves—notice it is the unbeliever that takes the initiative in the separation, because the Christian partner ought always to be upholding the sanctity and lifelong permanence of marriage—but if the unbeliever leaves, then the Christian partner is under no obligation whatsoever to contest it. If the unbeliever sues for divorce because they cannot stand the faith of their now spouse, then the believer is under no obligation whatsoever to contest the divorce. That's what he means when he says, in this circumstance, the believer is not bound. A believing man or a woman is not bound in such circumstances. After all, he says, God has called us to live in peace. And to try and prop up a marriage where your unbelieving spouse simply wants to be done with you once and for all is certainly not to live in the realm of peace.

So he says, if they decide to leave, let them do so. Now, I want to say, because many of you will have questions about this, that I believe that this is the third way in which it is possible for remarriage ever to take place as taught in the Bible. There are three ways that a married person may remarry. Number one, because their partner died. Romans chapter 7. Number two, because their partner committed adultery. Matthew 19. And number three, because their partner, as an unbeliever, could no longer stand living with a believer and so took off. It is my personal understanding of the Bible that in each of those situations, the presupposition is remarriage and therefore is allowable.

Not everyone believes that. Many churches teach against that. I can only speak according to the understanding of Scripture that I have.

Now, our last verse is 16. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? What do you think that's saying? Do you think that's saying, You better stay in there and hang in there as long as you can, because how do you know whether you'll save your wife? Or how do you know whether you'll save your husband? Do you read that positively?

If this was interactive, we could have a hands-up, but there's no time left. I'm asking that for you to think it out. Do you think of it that way? Do you think what he's saying is, You better hang in, because how do you know? There's a great evangelistic opportunity, and I know your husband hates you, and I know he doesn't like coming to church, and I know everything else, but how do you know? You might save him. Or do you think what he's saying is, Just let him go. Because how do you know whether you'll save him or save her? Let him go. I mean, don't hold onto the situation as if marriage was designed for evangelism.

It clearly wasn't. So don't stay married, he says. Don't keep some unbeliever hanging around your house just so that you can stick tracks under his porridge in the morning and so that you can turn the Christian radio on as loud as you can and so that you can stick Bible verses on a shaving mirror. How do you know, he says, that you're going to save your wife or your husband? The certain strain involved is not justified by the uncertain result. Make your own decision. I'm not sure myself which way I ought to read this. I certainly know that there have been a number of people who have put themselves under a tremendous amount of guilt because someone has said that verse 16 teaches that if your husband or wife is an unbeliever, you mustn't let them go, because how do you know whether you might be the means of their salvation?

I think that is unjustifiable. Well, our time is gone. What do we learn from this? We learn that these issues touch the very fabric of our lives. We know that they demand our most careful attention. They certainly need to be addressed with a humble heart, which recognizes that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and his wisdom has been given to us in this book. They certainly remind us of the lifelong permanence of marriage, of the sadness that is involved in separation and divorce.

They also are a reminder to us of how God is able to restore the years that the locusts have eaten. But I think more than anything else, they're a classic illustration of what Paul says in Romans 12.2, quoting Phillips, Don't let the world squeeze you into its mold, but let God remold your minds from within, so that you may prove in practice that the plan of God for you is good, meets all his demands, and moves towards the goal of true maturity. If you're a believer here tonight and you've gone through a divorce in your past, then don't allow the evil one to rake you through the garbage cans of forgiven sin. If you're a believer here tonight who's going through difficulties in your marriage, then don't allow the world to talk you into running from it. Rather, with a humble heart, believing that God is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond all that we can ask or even imagine, ask him to rekindle and to restore and to renew.

The world is watching to see whether Christians really are different or not. Marriage is a sacred commitment that shouldn't be entered into lightly and shouldn't be dissolved recklessly. You're listening to Truth for Life.

Alistair Begg will be back in just a moment to close today's program with prayer. Our mission at Truth for Life is to teach God's Word every day with clarity and relevance. We've been finding out just how practical and relevant the Bible's instruction is in the area of marriage, particularly when the culture is embracing something so radically different. If this current study on marriage has been helpful to you, if you'd like to re-listen to some of the messages or share them with a friend, you'll find the entire study available for free online.

It's called We Too Are One. Search for the title at truthforlife.org or in our mobile app. We make all of our online teaching free at Truth for Life because we want to provide clear biblical instruction to anyone who wants to learn more. The reason we're able to do this is because of our monthly Truth Partners. These are listeners like you who pray for the ministry and who give a monthly donation to help cover the cost of producing this daily program. You've probably heard me talk about Truth Partners and how important they are to this ministry. If you haven't yet had a minute to go online and sign up, we're hoping you'll do that today. You'll be joining a team that brings the gospel through Alistair's teaching to listeners in nearly every country.

Sign up at truthforlife.org slash truth partner or call us at 888-588-7884. Let me remind you that as a Truth Partner you're welcome to request the two monthly books we recommend. If you've ever requested books from us, you know that they are carefully curated. We provide exceptional Bible teaching from a wide variety of authors.

We choose both contemporary releases and timeless classics. Every one of these books has something rich to offer. Both books each month are yours simply by request. There's no additional donation necessary when you're a Truth Partner. It's our way of saying thank you for making Truth for Life possible through your monthly giving and prayer. Today we are recommending a newly published book titled Gospel Shaped Marriage. The subtitle is Grace for Sinners to Love Like Saints. This book takes a closer look at what it means to submit your marriage to God's authority and to Christ's love. As you read the book you'll discover the joys and benefits that husbands and wives have experienced when their love of Christ is central to their life together. Request the book Gospel Shaped Marriage when you become a Truth Partner or when you give a one-time donation. Visit us online at truthforlife.org slash donate. And if you'd rather mail your donation along with your request for the book write to Truth for Life at P.O.

Box 398000 Cleveland, Ohio 44139. Now here is Alistair to close with prayer. Our God and our Father we thank you tonight for your word and we thank you for the privilege of studying it together.

It's sharp like a two-edged sword cuts through to the very core of our being. And I do pray again tonight for those whose lives are marked in the past by regret, by failure, by disappointment, who find that studies such as these are often fertile ground for the evil one to come and prove himself again to be the accuser of the brother. And I pray O God that you will enable them to resist him firm in the faith. But I do pray Lord for any in our fellowship who are considering the slip road of divorce, the possibilities of separation, the desire to make a run for it. I pray tonight that you will so come to their hearts and lives that they might run to you, to the rock, to the fortress, to the one who makes everything good in his time. May we know the power of the spirit filling us, the love of the Lord Jesus flowing from us, the joy of the Lord Jesus being our strength. For we commit one another lovingly into the care of Christ and in his name we pray. Amen. I'm Bob Lapine. Thanks for listening. We live in a culture that trivializes relationships in so many ways and it's easy for us to become confused about what marriage actually is and what it isn't. Join us tomorrow to hear answers from Alistair. The Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth for Life where the Learning is for Living.