Characteristics of Christian Love (Part 1 of 4)

We often think of love as merely a Truth for Life. To express love toward others is hard work.

It demands action. Listen as Alistair Begg explains what love does in a message titled Characteristics of Christian Love. All of these facets are in verbal form.

Why is that important? Well, it's important because Paul's emphasis here is not so much upon what love is as it is upon what love does. And that the fact that these facets are written as doing words is a reminder to us that if we merely read the word, hear the word, and do not put it into practice, then it is of no avail to us, and we're actually like the foolish man who built his house on the sand. So it's important to realize they are all in verbal form. Secondly, it's important to realize that each of them is written in the present continuous tense. Whether it is indicative or not, it is always present continuous. A reminder to us that these facets denote actions and or attitudes which must become habitual in our lives.

They will be employed, they will be seen gradually and by constant repetition—in much the same way as one would build a muscle by exercising and would see it atrophy as a result of an absence of exercise. In Corinth, as we have seen, there was jealousy, pride, selfishness. Surprise, surprise. Two thousand years later, in the church of Jesus Christ, in Parkside Church, we have to be honest and recognize there is jealousy, pride, dissatisfaction, and selfishness. So is it useful to study 1 Corinthians 13?

Absolutely. Because some of us are jealous of the success of other people, some of us are dissatisfied at the gifts that God has given us, and many of us are more concerned about jamming people with their responsibilities than we are humbly accepting from God our opportunities. Now, in considering these characteristics, we need to keep in mind also that Paul is not writing as a technician. This is not a technical list, as it were. Nor is he writing as a theoretician. But he is writing, rather, as a practitioner. He realizes that what is necessary in Corinth is not simply instruction but transformation. It must be truth applied—not truth simply learned in the head, but truth that is channeled through to the hands and the feet and so on. Now, what we'll do this evening in want of any meaningful way of summarizing these facets is just simply to work through them one at a time.

And we'll ask God's help to put his hand upon areas of our lives and areas of our church's life that are obviously in most need of attention. Okay? So we got a list of fifteen. We start now, and we finish when we're done.

Okay. Number one, love is patient. Now, the word actually refers to a holding intention in our minds before we give rise to passion. It is a word which is expressive of control. What Paul is saying is this, that love has a long fuse. Love takes time before fuming and bursting into flames. And the emphasis, the usage of this word, patience, here, is a patience which primarily refers not to circumstances but to people.

Some of us are quite patient with circumstances that go awry, but when it comes to people that let us down or annoy us, then we're not just as loving and as patient as we might be. And this is the emphasis here. Chrysostom, writing in the early centuries, said, This word is used of a man who is wronged and who has it easily in his power to avenge himself but will never do it. So it's not weakness. It is, if you like, what we find in Jesus—meekness.

It is not that the person is totally bereft of the passion with which to respond, but it is rather that that passion is held in check as a result of the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Now, that wasn't very attractive to the mind of the average Corinthian. The heroes of the day were the avengers.

Little has changed. Once again, Aristotle taught that the great Greek virtue was the refusal to tolerate insult or injury and to strike back in retaliation at the slightest offense. If you wanted to show you were a good guy and a tough guy and a Greek guy, then that's exactly what you did. Now, Paul says, No, no, love does not do that. Love is actually patient. Consider the epitome of this in Jesus himself. 1 Peter chapter 2. When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate. When he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. Now, think about it with the two thieves on the cross.

Although we always think that there was a good guy and a bad guy, the fact is they were both bad guys at the start. They were both involved in mocking Jesus at the beginning. They were both joining in with the chorus of the crowd, and you remember that Jesus had pointed out that he could have called twelve legions of angels and just fired the place in his protection.

He chose not to do that. And to an individual who, hanging, facing his death, may well have been worthy of the most scant response, Jesus says to the fellow today, You will be with me in paradise. Love is patient. The love of the Father, described in 2 Peter—it's still Peter writing, writing now of the Father's love for people, 2 Peter chapter 3 and verse 9—"The LORD is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness."

So what's the explanation? The explanation is, he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish but everyone to come to repentance. The patience of the Father, the patience of the Son, is representative of the patience which should be manifest in our lives. Secondly, love is kind. Love reacts with goodness to those who ill-treat it. This is, if you like, the counterpart of patience.

The Word of God says, Do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness that is there to lead you towards repentance? Now, it's easy to state this—love is kind. It's easy to understand this. But it's hard to do.

You know, if you think about all of the descriptions that might mark our lives for longevity, I put it to you that you would never wear this one out. There's always a spot for kindness. That kind of kindness is easily expressed, it's easily understood, and it's difficult in its application. Because if you think about it, even within our families, within our nuclear families, one of the greatest challenges we have is to be kind to one another, to teach brothers and sisters to be kind to each other. Parents grow weary of saying to their children, If you don't have something kind to say, just don't say anything. If you can't be kind, then just go somewhere else. Because they recognize, as parents, the absolute necessity of kindness. But then the children watch the parents, and so often the husband's approach to his wife is anything but kind. And so the children learn from the absence of kindness in the eyes of the father, or in the words of the father, not to treat one another with kindness. You see, it's not kindness that asserts its rights, that despises the gifts that it's been given, that envies others and treats people with insensitivity.

A kindness is always long remembered. I find this very challenging. I wonder if you do. I see myself in the mirror of the Word of God.

I realize the need for spirit enabled obedience. Phillips paraphrases this little phrase, Love looks for a way to be constructive. Love is patient with the shortcomings of others, Love is constructive in its kindness. Thirdly, and now begins a run of negatives, saying something positive by the use of a negative. Number three, it does not envy. It does not envy. The real test here is to check our reaction at the news of another success. How did I feel when some measure of success accrued to someone near me but not to myself?

You see, this is the great test of it. Jealousy is a destructive emotion. And jealousy was a large part of the church in Corinth.

People were silly. They still could not grasp what Paul was saying, that the parts of the body that are unseen are the most important. The parts that are most prominent and that have so much focus are not actually the keys to the issue. But despite the fact that we can understand that in physical terms, as soon as we begin to apply it in spiritual terms, we tend to think that we're not really speaking it right. And so, consequently, it's so possible for us to become jealous and envious of one another. Now, this will always be a problem, because there will always be people who have more than we have, and there will always be people who do better than we do. So if we don't learn somehow to win the battle with envy, we're in deep trouble. The word that is used here, ziloi, is actually used in both a positive and a negative way in Scripture.

It is the word which would be translated fervent or zealous, marked by zeal. And here, used in a negative way, the inference is obvious. There are essentially two kinds of envy. Let me tell you what they are. There's the simple envy, which covets what other people have. Oh, I wish I had her hair. Oh, I wish I had that thing.

Oh, I wish I had this or whatever it was, and I'm ticked off because I don't. That's straightforward envy. The second kind of envy is worse.

It's not as immediately apparent, but it's more devastating in its impact. This kind of envy grudges the very fact that others have stuff, doesn't want the stuff they have, but just hates the fact they have it. I don't want your stuff. I just don't want you having it. I don't care if I get it. I just don't want you to get it. I don't care if I don't have your gift, but I don't like you having that gift, and I hope you lose it, or I hope something happens to you, or I hope you fall down a hole, because I am deeply envious of you. And as one Scottish commentator says, meanness of soul can sink no further than that. And when that begins to infect a church, it is one of the most virulent diseases that can ever get in. Destroy the place.

All right? Fourthly, love does not boast. The loving person who is successful doesn't seek a platform upon which to parade their accomplishments.

That's what he's saying. The person who is filled with the love of the Lord Jesus, no matter how successful they are, how bright they are, how gifted they are, does not always have to be in the front of the operation parading accomplishments. Now, this was really apropos Corinth, because they had a real problem with this. People in Corinth were spiritual show-offs. They were boasting about their gifts, they were boasting about their accomplishments.

Paul has to write to them in later chapters to remind them of a principle that he had made clear in the seventh verse of chapter 4. "'For who makes you different from anyone else?' he asked. What do you have that you did not receive?

And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?" How easy it is for some of us to enjoy the focus of attention. How difficult to be out of the focus. To find ourselves happy only when we are the ones who are in the spotlight. To be interested in the conversation as long as we are the center of the conversation, and to be totally disinterested when it moves away from this topic of great interest, namely us. What Paul says is that love is not constantly anxious to impress. And yet, within our hearts, we sense the need to flaunt our reputation, to stir up our background, to display our abilities and our successes, and then suddenly we read the words concerning the Lord Jesus, who being in very nature God did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness, and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death, even death on a cross. Love does not boast.

Fifthly, love is not proud. The Greek word is phusiotai. Kind of a good word.

Sounds almost Japanese, the way I said it, but don't worry about that. It means to puff oneself up like a pair of bellows. You see how challenging this is in an age where you walk in the average bookstore, and it's all about be the person you're supposed to be, seize the moment, be your own guy, tell them what you are, strut your stuff, show everybody how cool you are. If you don't, no one else will.

Therefore, get in your boss's face and just vaunt yourself. That's exactly what it's about. And you want to say that Christianity is supposed to make a difference?

He says, no, the person who is really finding the love of the Lord Jesus is not going to puff himself up like a pair of bellows. Parents, you buy that stuff with your kids, you'll reap the whirlwind, and so will I. And don't buy this garbage that the key to the future of your child is to puff them up like a pair of bellows, to send them out as arrogant little characters, so full of their own importance and their own abilities, to tell them how wonderful they are, and how great they are, and how terrific they are, and how they're going to be this, and they're going to be that, and they're going to be the next thing. Make sure they wash behind their ears, make sure they say their prayers, make sure they say please and thank you, and be thankful for every minor achievement they ever make. But don't go around telling them they're the best thing since sliced bread. You'll regret it.

We all will. There's nobody worse in your office than a fathead. How did he get a fathead? He pumped himself up? William Carey, the father of modern missions, goes to India. He came from a cobbler's background.

He came from a shoe shop. In the circumstances of India at that time, Carey was caused to move around in environments that he would never, ever have been in had he been still back in England. God used Carey. God moved Carey. God gave Carey abilities beyond any training that he'd ever had.

Carey translated Scripture into some thirty-four Indian dialects in the period of time that he was in India. He was uniquely gifted. He was powerfully used. But he was greatly despised, because he didn't come out of the right store. He didn't come from the right kind of pedigree and background. And on one occasion, at a function which he was attending, a snob at a dinner party, with the idea of humiliating Carey, said in a tone of voice, loud enough for everyone to hear, So I hear, Mr. Carey, you are a shoemaker. Oh no, said William Carey, I am a shoe mender, not a shoemaker. The guy thought he would do him down.

Carey put himself lower. In a world that exalts windbags and fatheads, it's hard not to join the race. Arrogance has a big head. Love has a big heart. Love is concerned to give itself, not assert itself. Love is not rude. It doesn't behave itself indecently or in a shameful manner. In other words, love has good manners. William Barclay says, There is a graciousness in Christian love which never forgets that courtesy, intact, and politeness are lovely things. I asked a little boy this morning. In the course of conversation, I said, And are you excited to see your grandfather?

And he said, Yes, sir, I am. He comes from the right side of this line you have here—what's this called, this Dixon line or something? Whatever it is, he's on the right side of it, as far as I'm concerned.

It would be worth all moving south just to raise our children, and then all move back again. There is something about the Yankee that the Southerner has a right to comment on. Love doesn't think that is silly. Love does not behave indecently. Love is gracious, courteous, tactful, and full of good manners.

It was said by Bishop Lightfoot of one of his students, Let him go where he will. His face will be a sermon in itself. And there is a way of looking that displays that kind of courtesy. And there is a way of looking that manifests disdain. And in the church of Jesus Christ, we need to make sure that our attitude and behavior is marked not by rudeness but by kindness. Finally, love is not self-seeking.

It does not pursue selfish advantage. We're halfway through verse 5. See, the man or the woman who lives for their own selfish advantage will die eventually in obscurity. They will be forgotten in a moment. In contrast, let me give you one from St. Paul's Cathedral in London, a tombstone again. It is inscribed, sacred to the memory of General Charles George Gordon, who at all times and everywhere gave his strength to the weak, his substance to the poor, his sympathy to the suffering, and his heart to God. True love, then, is always unselfish.

How easy to say, how hard to practice. Let us pray together. And now may the love of Jesus fill us as the waters fill the sea, him exalting, self-abasing.

This is victory. Pour out upon us, Lord, as individuals, and as a church family we pray, a genuine desire to channel our energies enabled by the Spirit, to live in love, to walk in love—not some kind of mushy sentimentality but a strong, virile, God-ordained, agappy love. Be with us in the journey to our homes, and abide with us there, and grant that in the days in which we are separated from one another that our thoughts and our words concerning one another may be in accord with our study this evening. And may the love of the Lord Jesus Christ draw us to himself. May the joy of the Lord Jesus Christ give us strength as we seek to serve him. And may the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ guard and keep our hearts and minds today and until Jesus comes or calls us to himself and then forevermore.

Amen. Alistair Begg with a message titled Characteristics of Christian Love. You're listening to Truth for Life and Alistair will be back in just a minute with a special invitation so please keep listening. Before Alistair returns here's a reminder you can request a six-week Easter devotional titled An Ocean of Grace. Each entry in this devotional includes a writing or a prayer from an important figure from Church history on the topic of Christ's death and resurrection and you can request your copy today when you donate to support the Bible Teaching Ministry on this program. Give through our mobile app or at truthforlife.org slash donate.

You can also call 888-588-7884. Again ask for the book An Ocean of Grace. Now as promised here is Alistair with an invitation. A seven-day tour of the Alaskan coastline from aboard a Holland America cruise ship. How does it sound? I think it sounds really terrific. The Pacific coastline is as you know spectacular and the section that runs all the way up there in Alaska has peculiar beauty. The Bible tells us again and again that the firmament that God has made shows his handiwork.

It causes us to look up and out and beyond ourselves and so when we look at God's creation and then we look into the scriptures together as we're going to you have this wonderful juxtaposition of all that God has made so that we might in learning this and in learning together about this give to him the praise that he deserves. I hope that you'll consider coming along. I think it will be a terrific time and Bob will give you the details as to how you can make that happen. And you can find out more about this opportunity or reserve your spot by visiting deeperfaithcruise.com or call eight five five five six five five five one nine. I'm Bob Lapine. Join us again tomorrow to learn more about the characteristics of Christian love. The Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth for Life where the Learning is for Living.