Today on the verdict with Pastor John Monroe, how do we act? And what should we do? When we are aware that a brother or sister in Christ is sinning against us. What are we to do if that person persists? in that sin, in that wrongdoing.
Well, let's turn to Matthew chapter 18. The Lord Jesus is going to tell us exactly what we are to do. Welcome to the verdict with Pastor John Monroe, Senior Pastor at Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. When a brother or sister in Christ repeatedly sins against you and doesn't repent, How are we meant to handle this difficult situation? What does scripture tell us to do?
Today, we're exploring the step-by-step biblical process of spiritual restoration as we continue in the book of Matthew. Here's Pastor John Monroe. One of the characteristics of the transforming grace of God in our lives is that we forgive others. The more we understand the magnitude of God's forgiveness, the more we realize that we cannot withhold forgiveness. from those who offend us.
Last time we learned that sometimes there needs to be private confrontation. That is, you don't prejudge the issue or gossip about the person who you think has offended you. You go to them with humility. The goal is spiritual restoration. Then, If they don't listen to you, Jesus says you take one or two others with you.
In the process, as set out by Jesus in Matthew 18, Never forget that the goal is spiritual restoration. Let's learn more as we listen to the teaching of Jesus on this important subject. What do you do? When this person you know who's a brother or sister in Christ trays, And perhaps You're aware of their sin. In fact, their sin may be against you.
Here it is. Step one. Private. confrontation Step one, private confrontation, verse fifteen, then of Matthew 18. If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault.
between you and him alone. Underline the word alone. If he listens to you. You have gained Your brother.
So what are you to do when that person offends you, don't jump to a conclusion. First step, private. Confrontation because why? Your goal is spiritual restoration. When you confront a person, they may admit the wrongdoing, they may say, That is right.
I was wrong. I did say that. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. And the matter is Resolved.
You have won. Your spiritual brother and sister in Christ. He or she has been spiritually restored. That's step one. Step two.
Step one, private confrontation. Step two, plural reproof. Verse 16. But if he does not listen, you say, Yeah, the person offends me, they don't listen to me.
Okay. If he doesn't listen, take one or two others along with you. That every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. This is brilliant teaching by Jesus, isn't it?
So you go to the person. They don't listen. Listen now. What's wrong with her? Go away.
I'm not going to meet with you. Or they meet with you and they start insulting you. They're proud. What you to do? you take one or two others with you.
So you're bringing someone else with you communicates to the person that this is serious. A third party also provides Objectivity. And it also provides some protection for you, and as Jesus says, it provides corroboration of the conversation. That was very, very important in Jewish law. Deuteronomy 19, verse 15: Only on the evidence of two or three witnesses shall a charge be established.
That's wise. If the individual then admits the wrongdoing, If the individual repents, the matter is at an end. You have gained your brother. Spiritual restoration. has been achieved.
But you say, well, what happens if they still don't listen? I'm glad you asked. Verse 17. If he refuses to listen to them, Tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, Let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Truly I say to you, whatever you bound on earth shall be bound in heaven. Whatever you lose on earth shall be losed in heaven. Again I say to you, If two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I. Among them.
Step one. private confrontation. Step two. Plural reproof. Step three.
Public Rebuke. If spiritual restoration has still not been achieved, The matter is brought. to the church.
So you've taken a couple of people with you, they still don't listen, the person's sin continues. You bring it to the church. The leaders then of the church approach the individual who has yet another opportunity to repent. What's the goal? The goal in all of this is spiritual restoration and reconciliation.
The goal is not to punish the individual. But to restore him or her to the Lord and to reconcile. with those who have been offended. by the offender's actions. The goal is always Restoration.
You know, Matthew 18 has sometimes been used as a legalistic club to beat people. No. Do you notice the context? of Matthew 18, 15 through 20. What precedes it?
The shepherd who goes after the straying sheep. What comes after it, as we'll see next week? How often will my brother If my brother sin against me, how often must I forgive him? You're tired of forgiving someone, they keep doing the same thing. Jesus says, keep doing it.
Not just seven times, seventy times. Seven, the goal is not to wound your brother.
Sometimes people in church have been wounded. terribly wounded. Through the wrongful interpretation. of these verses. The goal is to restore.
When you do this, you have one. Your brother. How wonderful. The goal of spiritual restoration. Very easy to criticize, isn't it?
We're living in a very critical Society. A very judgmental So science, amazing what is said on social media, isn't it? Amazing what is said by our politicians who should know better about one another. No, the goal is not to criticize. The goal is not to be judgmental.
The goal is certainly not to ignore sin. The goal Restoration. You say, John, this is very difficult. It is very difficult. And it requires spiritual maturity.
and it requires spiritual sensitivity. Turning your Bibles over to Galatians 6. And Paul will give us very practical help. as to how we do this. Restoration.
Spiritual restoration must be done in a spiritual Yeah. Galatians 6. Verse one. Brothers, if anyone is caught. in any transgression You who are spiritual.
should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keeping watch on yourself lest you be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law. of Christ. No this?
You who are spiritual. should restore Him. This word restore means to repair, it means to make complete. It means to mend. It's used by Mark in Mark 1, where Jesus is calling the disciples, and some of them are mending their nets, restoring.
the nets. It's the word used, as it were, of the orthopedic surgeon who is Pudding Together. a broken bone. I remember When we lived in Canada, we were Uh Apparently there was to be an elders party. and some others in Guten I go.
And the Canadians are born with ice skates on their feet. This was in Nova Scotia. I had skated a little bit. I mean, how difficult can it be? It looks pretty easy, doesn't it?
And so we went along in a base skate. And uh this elder had uh A skating rink in the back of his house, very homemade, certainly not sleep like these beautiful ice rinks I had always been on. And uh they said uh You're gonna skate? I said, well, I can skate, but I said I don't have any ice skates. And one of the elders, who was six feet four and had size 13 feet, he said, John, I'll lend you mine.
I thought, okay. And I thought, you know, I do take nine and a half. I've got very cute feet, not like your. I mean, the guy had feet like skis. But anyhow, Yeah.
Very foolishly, Goody declined, wise woman that she was. But you know, I think, okay, I'm the pastor, I've been there long, I want to show I'm as cool as the next guy, which is always a mistake. And I put on these skates and went, and these Canadians, I mean, they're amazing. Doing all these little twirls and jumps and all these things. I'm watching that, you know, I think I'm pretty athletic.
Um and tried one of them. And uh had quite a fall. And as I was following, I did something very foolishly. I put my. Rest.
To protect me instead of landing on my gluteus maximus that the good Lord has given us. I thought, ooh, I'd never broken a bone in my life. And I thought, mm, I have done something. Goodness said, I turned green, I thought I was going to throw up. and uh taken to hospital.
orthopedic surgeon comes. Tells me. I got two brakes, one in my arm. and a very small bone, which was difficult to fix. in my wrist.
And remember You know, feeling really foolish. About this, thinking, why didn't I follow my wife's example? The author. Orthopedic surgeon did not. He asked me how it happened, of course, and he didn't criticize me.
He didn't say that was pretty stupid, wasn't it? Putting on these big skates, and what do you think you are? You know, you can do these fancy little loops and triple axles and all these kind of things. He didn't do that. What's his concern?
His concern is demand. That's his training. He wants to restore me. His goal was.
So that my arm and my wrist were as strong as they were prior to the accident. Restoration. Do you get the point? This brother has strayed. He's battered, he's bruised.
He's been very foolish. She said some really terrible things. That's true. They should never have been said. The goal is not to abrade the person.
The the goal is not to humiliate them. It is to restore. Notice three attitudes. First of all, go in a spirit of gentleness. Verse 1: Restore in a spirit of gentleness.
This is the opposite of arrogance. and self-assertion. Wolves turn on their own when they're wounded and devour them. Wolves, when they attack an animal, they will look at the most weak one and they'll bite it and they'll get the animal to bleed so it will weaken. Paul says here in Galatians 5, verse 15: If you bite and devour one another, watch out that you're not consumed by one another.
And it's sad sometimes in the church there is biding. Devouring one another. Must have been happening in the church in in Galatia. Brothers and sisters biting and devouring one another.
Some of you have may have been part of churches that have done that. How sad. No. as followers of Christ. We are not to engage in wolf-like behavior.
We're not to attack. We are to restore in a spirit of Gentleness. When you go to that person, go in a spirit of gentleness. Secondly, go in a spirit of humility. Paul says, keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
Listen, brother, you also have strayed. Why are you so arrogant? Why are you denouncing that person in such a judgmental, harsh way? As if you were perfect? No, you go.
you recognize that you too Can be tempted. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 10: let him that stand take heed lest he fall. Recognize your own vulnerability. You too. can fall into sin.
You too can go astray. Go in the spirit of gentleness, go in the spirit of humility, and above all, go in the spirit of Christ. Bear one another's burdens. and so fulfil the law of Christ. How does our Saviour deal with us?
How did our Savior rescue you? when you were straying and you in your sin how did jesus come Remember the old hymn, In tenderness? He sought me. Weary and worn by sin, And on his shoulders brought me back to his fold again. While angels in his presence sang.
Until the courts of heaven rang. Oh, the love. that sought me Oh, the blood that bought me. Oh, the grace that brought me to the fault. Wondrous grace.
that brought me to the fold. My brother. My sister. All of us have sinned, have messed up. And when our Lord Jesus Christ comes to us, He comes, He said, not to condemn, but to save.
He comes to seek. And to save the lost. And when the good shepherd goes after that lost sheep, When he finds the sheep, He doesn't kick the sheep back to the fold. He doesn't say, you silly, silly sheep. Sheep are silly.
animals. What does Jesus say in Luke fifteen? He puts it on his shoulders. The shepherd. with a dirty, smelly sheep on his shoulder.
Yeah, that's the good shepherd. The Highland couldn't care less. The Highland would say, I've got 99 sheep. I'm not going to bother with that one. Ah, but in love And in tenderness the good shepherd comes.
and seeks us. And so, you as a follower of Christ who have experienced, I trust, that forgiveness, that restoration of your own soul, when you approach that person. Do it. in love. Do it in gentleness.
Do it in humility and do it in the spirit. of Jesus. Prayer. Spiritual sensitivity. Kindness.
Grace. and patience.
So the goal. is restoration and Reconciliation.
So the individual is reconciled to God. And where that individual's behavior and attitudes has caused a breach between people and the wonder of the grace of God, there is reconciliation.
Some of you have experienced that in your own marriage.
Some of you have experienced that in your own family. You see when A sinner repents, there is joy in the presence of the angels. Once there was a hard heart, now there's repentance. Once there's suspicion and now there's fellowship. Once there was disunity, now there is unity.
Once there was criticism and backbiting, but now there is love and tenderness. and care. Restoration. With an early meeting. with the executive committee.
I can Church walking over the parking lot, it was 6:30. And I heard a noise above me of honking. I thought it's a disgruntled member of the church. Not really. No.
Um Yeah. Um I looked up. And here's the magnificent sight. of geese. in that beautiful V Formation.
You've seen it, haven't you? and they flew right over my head. And I looked at them. And experts tell us that Geese flying together in that formation fly seventy percent faster than flying. Alone.
Perhaps we watch That beautiful scene. of these magnificent birds that are much better in the air than on the ground flying. And as we watch, We see a break in the ranks. We see that the V becomes a bit disjointed. What has happened?
A goose. False. And as that goose falls to the ground, Two of the geese flanking it. Come down. With it.
And come. to the ground to take care. of their falling. The comrade.
Next morning. It's the dawn. The goose that has fallen. It's healthy. And the three birds go up into the air.
to regain their bearing. and then fly towards The flock of geese. Together, united. Reconciled. they will reach their destination.
together. Brothers or sisters, sometimes A brother. Or a sister. False. That may be you.
You may be here and you have fallen. What to say? At church we do not shoot our wounded. We don't devour the defeated, the depressed, the broken, the discouraged. The following.
We care for them. We love them. Yes, there can be very hard and very difficult conversations. That is true. We cannot compromise sin.
We cannot overlook the teaching of Scripture, but out of love and out of compassion for you, We seek for you to be spiritually. Restored. Anyone here this morning? And right now, you're astray. You strayed from the Lord.
In fact, you have never yet come to the Saviour. Will you open your heart? to the good shepherd. Who loves you, who died for you. who rose again.
Who comes not to condemn you, but to save you. But you have to repent of your sin and you have to cry and ask for his salvation. And there are some here who are followers of Christ. But you've strayed. And your straying is impacting your relationships.
possibly with people in this community. Perhaps in your home. Perhaps your sin, brother. Sister is affecting your marriage. It's affecting your children.
affecting your parents. In God's name I ask you. To repent, we, the pastors, the elders, the leaders of church, many here. in a congregation are here to help you. And to be vessels of the grace of God as together We seek.
to engage in this beautiful but difficult privilege of spiritual restoration. Father, help us. All of us, like sheep, have gone astray. We've turned everyone. to our own way, but we thank you for your grace.
Magnificent grace. We thank you that Jesus is a good shepherd. He's not a highland He loves us. He knows us by name. He cares for us.
He cries for us, as it were. in our sin. And so I pray that you'll give those who have strayed a spirit of repentance. of humility. No B.
not only restoration but reconciliation. Between husbands, wives, between brothers, sisters, between families. Who through sin have gone astray. And then your magnificent grace. You restore.
We thank you. As David could write out of his own experience. That the Lord Restores us. We thank you. that you are a restoring God.
And we thank you that our Lord Jesus Christ came from heaven. to rescue us, to restore us. to forgive us all of his grace in his name. Amen. Mm-hmm.
This is the verdict featuring the Bible teaching of Pastor John Monroe. There's still more to hear when John returns in just a moment, so stay with us. From matters of truth and identity, to the subjects of love and grace, our world seems more confused than ever. but to find truth and certainty about who we are and find peace, we must turn our attention away from the world and look to the Word of God. To help you do that, John wrote a booklet titled Eternal Security, Finding Certainty in a Chaotic World.
Through this special resource, John shares his personal testimony, along with a careful examination of Scripture, to offer us clarity on matters of eternity. Get your copy today by visiting our website at theverdict.org. While you're there, consider making an investment in this Bible teaching ministry. Whether it's $5, $50, or more, your gift today helps cover the cost of sharing these gospel messages to listeners around the world. And if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe to the Verdict Podcast, featuring John's weekly podcast exclusive called Avizandam.
It's available wherever you get your podcasts, or simply go to our website. Again, that's theverdict.org. The verdict is a ministry of Calvary Church in South Charlotte. We're located on the corner of Highway 51 and Ray Road. If you've been looking for a church home or a community to help you grow in your walk with Christ, We invite you to join us for our Sunday services.
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Now, here's Pastor John Monroe. Uh Well, what's your verdict? Isn't it wonderful to be spiritually restored and forgiven? Aren't you thankful for those in your life who've been gracious to you and perhaps even lovingly confronted you? That's the characteristic of a friend, isn't it?
So often there are conflicts in our relationships, even in the church, where we're not following this teaching. I ask you to do the right thing. Follow the biblical model. Those of us who know the forgiveness and restoration of our great God must be forgiving of others and seek their spiritual restoration. Thanks for joining us today on The Verdict.
I'm Michelle Davies. Today's program with Pastor John Monroe was produced and sponsored by Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina.
