Avizandam In Scots law, this term describes the careful consideration given by the judge before an important decision. Join me each week as we explore various topics from a spiritual perspective and take matters. Avise endum Well, today for this podcast, I have an exciting guest with me. And I'm going to ask him to come and tell us a little bit about his background. He's one of my colleagues here on pastoral staff.
His name is Micah Burdett, and he's our pastor of middle school. But I've asked him to talk about that, but before doing so, to talk about raising younger children.
So, Micah, tell us a little bit about your background, your family life, your experience, and what you actually do here at Calvary.
Well, thank you, John. I appreciate this opportunity to come here and share. I grew up as a A Christian in a Christian family was saved at a pretty young age. And grew up watching all of my older siblings. I'm one of seven kids, so watching my older siblings go into ministry and serve God, and that was kind of my goal in life.
I always thought that would be something that would be easy to do. Ended up going to college in Wisconsin, found out it wasn't as easy as I had thought. It was a very humbling experience. Experience. I met my wife there in college as well.
We got married. pretty young actually. and went to serve at a Christian camp in northern Wisconsin. Um then came along with Three kids.
Now we have a six-year-old daughter, a three-year-old daughter, and now a one-year-old daughter. And through that time, we've served at a few different churches, both in Illinois and then here in Charlotte as well, where I've served for the past two and a half years as middle school pastor. Yeah. Um Micah, you didn't give us your wife's name. or your children's name.
Um Tell us their names and What have you learned as a Christian father? I know you're a pastor, but first and foremost, your husband and a father. What have you learned? in raising these children? And again, what advice would you give to Young parents.
We've got a lot of them, not only at Calvary, but to others who are listening to this podcast. Yeah, my wife's name is Riley. She is my wonderful partner in life and in parenting. She is the one that especially she reads all the books. She tells me all the parenting tips and tricks.
My daughter is my six-year-old daughter is Raylin. And then Presley is my three-year-old daughter, and then Emerson is my one-year-old daughter. And that's really a loaded question of tips and tricks for parenting. I think the biggest thing that I've learned and am still learning honestly is the importance of humility in parenting. It's really easy to go and read all the books, think that you have everything down, you're ready to be a parent, and then your first child comes and kind of hits you square in the face, and you realize: wow.
I don't know all the answers. I'm not entirely ready for everything that's going to come my way.
So, humility is one of the biggest keys, and what I mean by that is humility, especially in prayer. Going to God every day in every situation, saying, God, I don't know exactly how to handle this situation. I'm not equipped in myself, in and of myself, to handle this situation. And saying, God, I need help in this situation. Can you give me wisdom how to discipline in this situation?
Can you give me wisdom how to advise my child in this situation? Micah, would that be. praying on your own or with your wife or I think a lot of uh Men, particularly younger men, find it difficult. One is to pray. But also find it a little awkward in praying with their wives.
How have you found that? Yeah, obviously praying with myself and between me and God, but prayer with your wife is key as well. Um it's not just a time to to come together. And just pray, but also it's it's a time to Kind of share that humility aspect with your spouse. To connect, to make sure you're on the same page, that you are sharing each other's struggles, you're communicating, obviously, with God.
as well. Um it is a bit awkward. At times, and especially I found out if you are living hypocritically, if I am living in a way that is not representative of my faith, of God's word, not in line with God's word, and I say, Hey, Riley, come over here, let's pray. A lot of times there's a barrier there.
So, first of all, I need to make sure that I myself. Am in line with God's word, that my relationship with God is right before I ask right that he come and pray with me. Yeah, I think that's very key. Micah, so obviously prayer, an attitude of humility. Um what else have you found helpful in raising your Uh your children.
I found that a lot of times, and I kind of sometimes have this attitude myself. Especially in ministry, is you go to work and you put all your effort and time into ministering to other people and investing in other people, and that's that's probably true as well with whatever job you have, and then you come home. And you're like, okay, now I can relax.
Now I can kind of take my foot off the gas pedal. And that's not helpful. Really, when you come home, is the time to lean in and say, okay, now I'm really going to invest intentionally in my family. I'm going to spend the time that I need with them. I'm going to teach them God's Word, not always in a formal setting, but just throughout.
The day throughout my lifestyle, throughout every opportunity I have, the Deuteronomy 6 kind of attitude that you're teaching your kids God's word. especially through the way that you live your life. In teaching them God's word, I mean, do you take the Bible that you would use, or do you have a Christian storybook or a Christian Bible, or how would you begin doing that? You've got young children, your oldest is six.
So what have you found helpful in this communication of God's truth? You mentioned modelling it and that is key obviously, but then there is the more, you might say, formal communication of the truth to your children. Yeah, for for my six-year-old It's starting to get a little bit easier in that she can read very well.
So, when we open God's Word, and my wife Riley does this on a daily basis, and I get to do this more so on the weekends when I'm with him in the morning. But we open the Bible and we allow her to read the scripture, and we walk through that with her.
Now, she does have. I think an ESV, so she can read that. She can understand a lot of that already. For my three-year-old, it's a little bit more difficult because you have to, she can't read, and you have to more so share stories with her from scripture. But it's also key not just to open.
Any random book and share a story, but to open God's word, and you might have to kind of walk through that story. And make it simplified for her, but it's key, I think, to allow your kids to see you opening God's Word and saying, This is from God's Word, not I'm just sharing stories at the top of my head. All of this is very helpful. Micah, you also spend a lot of time. You're the middle school pastor here at Calvary, so you spend a lot of your time.
thinking, praying, and actually with Middle schoolers. And I know some people think that is one of the toughest jobs at Calvary, and that may be the case. But again, we've got a lot of parents who have got middle schoolers.
Some their children are about to come into middle school. Um what have you learned? Um From all of these middle schoolers, that would be helpful to let parents know. Yeah, we have a great team as well.
So I really appreciate all those who volunteer with the middle schoolers, all the parents who invest in their students working together as a team to help raise kids that. that love and honor God. There's several things. I would say, first of all, one of the most difficult things we struggle with in student ministry is the idea of passive parenting. And what I mean by that is parents that kind of have the attitude of, Church will teach my kids everything they need to know about God.
And they don't teach that at home. And it's really a struggle sometimes when students come in. And we are the only influencer. We are the major influence teaching them about spiritual things, about God's word, about how to live in line with God's Word and have a relationship with Christ. And parents, hopefully, you realize that you are the biggest influence in your students' lives, in your kids' lives.
You're around them more than we are.
So, passive parenting is really a struggle with us. Kind of the idea with that is That I go to church and I'm going to allow my kids to learn God's word there. But when you go home, there's no reinforcement of that. There's no teaching God's word. There's no showing them how to do devotions, how to have a relationship with God.
It's just, I want you to go listen at church, and then nothing happens. At home. Example of that is Eli in the Bible, and it says he was judged because his sons were living a sinful life, and it says he did not restrain them. He had no initiative. He was a passive type of parent, and it led to all sorts of problems.
Another struggle that I think we all have at times is hypocritical parenting. If you're telling your kids, I want you to follow God's word, I want you to have a relationship with Christ, but then they don't see that exemplified in you.
Well If you're telling them one thing and you're not living it out, there's probably going to be a disconnect there with your students or with your kids. Um I grew up in a Christian family and they taught me a lot about God's Word. And I really appreciate that, but I'll be honest, I don't really remember much of what they taught me. but I remember what they showed me. And some of the pictures that I have are getting up early in the morning, walking downstairs, seeing my mom doing her devotions, sometimes even singing, but praising God and doing that in private.
And I remember that every day. And the same with my father on the weekends, I would be able to see him get up early, get his cup of coffee, do devotions, write in his notebook. And seeing my parents do that had more of an impact on me, the consistency that they had. then all the things that they taught me.
Now what they taught me was important. But seeing them live it out showed, okay, they are real. Their faith is real. and gave me an example to follow. I think that is very, very helpful and also convicting for us all, isn't it?
We have as our mission at Calvary being in making authentic followers of Jesus Christ.
So, Micah, you're saying that. It's very easy for us to be funny. uh to pretend we're more spiritual than we are, but our Children can easily see through this. As we wrap this up today, any concluding thoughts just generally about raising children in a Christian home? Because we have, unlike You and me, we've got many at Calvary who were not raised in Christian homes.
So this is, in a sense, more difficult for them. But they have prayer, they have the Word of God, and certainly the example. But anything else you would say, or any warnings that you would give to Parents. Yeah, I think first a warning is watch the influences that you allow into your home. That kind of goes along with being inconsistent and maybe even hypocritical.
As we go to church, we hear you need to follow God's word, you need to be separated from the world, but then we go home, and you would be amazed how many students will talk about the TV shows, the movies, the music that they listen to that's completely inconsistent. with a lifestyle. in line with God's word.
So evaluate those influences, those TV shows. Are they promoting things that are un-Christ-like?
So evaluate those influences, and then just a word of encouragement. You're not the perfect parent. I'm not the perfect parent for sure. But in Christ, We have all that we need. Philippians 4 talks about Paul saying that God is going to supply all of your needs, specifically monetary in this context, but as well just in life.
God is going to supply you everything that you need to accomplish what He has called you to do.
So He's given you your kids for a reason, He knew who you were. He knows how unworthy you are. He knows how uncapable you are apart from him, but trust in him, rely on him. as you parent humbly. Yeah, I like that concluding.
Thought of hope. But it's very easy for parents to feel depressed. As you say, none of us are Are perfect.
So there's a lot of parents out there who are struggling. But I love this message of hope: that in Jesus Christ there is hope. As you pray, as you ask God for strength. And Each home has its own atmosphere, so have an atmosphere of forgiveness. Certainly, have discipline with your children, but don't be harsh, be kind, be loving, show them mercy, show them grace.
And the way you speak to each other as husband and wife should be an example of godly communication.
So, today I want to thank Micah for these very helpful and encouraging tips and warnings. He is here to help you.
So, for those of you at Calvary, if parents, if you need any help from Micah, he's available, also, Cameron, our high school. Pastor.
So Thanks for tuning in. Abyssandum. You're listening to the weekly Avizandam podcast from The Verdict, featuring Pastor John Monroe. John is Senior Pastor at Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. Listen to John's daily program, The Verdict, on broadcast radio or major podcast platforms.
For more information about the Verdict Ministry, visit us online at calvarychurch.com/slash the verdict.
