Today on the verdict with Pastor John Monroe. God. Is well evil. to lead you to marry the person. of his choice.
The same God. 3,000 years ago, who is blessing this Moabite widow Ruth, is the same God who will bless you. Take godly counsel. Humbly submit to the will of the Lord and trust Him in every circumstance of life. Welcome to the verdict, featuring the Bible teaching of Pastor John Monroe.
We all enjoy a good love story, but as enchanting as our favorite fictional tales may be, We're given a wonderful look at the beautiful true life romance between Ruth and Boaz in the Old Testament book of Ruth. Today, we're exploring the relationship lessons we can learn from this unique biblical love story. Here's Pastor John Monroe. If there's one area where we don't want to make mistakes, it's in our relationships, particularly in our choice of a husband or wife. Yet it's very easy to be impulsive and to allow our emotions to drive our decisions.
Are you the kind of person who seeks counsel from others? prayerfully making decisions. Or do you simply follow your own desires? I realized the culture in which Ruth lived is very different from our own. But God has given us some wonderful principles as we seek to have relationships which bring glory to God.
Realize the importance of your decisions and approach them with wisdom. Don't make a mistake in this area. Follow the Word of God. Let's learn from Ruth and Boaz as we consider further a proposal of marriage. We are studying Ruth chapter three.
Let's open our Bibles there as we wind our way through this little book to Ruth chapter 3. In a sense, I don't choose the message, but it's chosen for me as we are following the book of Ruth. And we'll find great guidance in this chapter. We'll think again in this chapter next week. But this morning, we're going to be reading from the first nine verses of Ruth 3, because the book of Ruth is, among other things, a love story.
Yes, there is romance in the Bible. Our subject is a marriage prayer. proposal Ruth three then, verse one, Naomi, her mother-in-law, said to her, That's Ruth, my daughter. Shall I not seek security for you, that it may be well with you? And now is not Boas our kinsman with whose maids you were?
Behold, he winnows barley at the threshing floor tonight. Wash yourself, therefore, and anoint yourself, and put on your best clothes, and come down to the threshing floor. But do not make yourself known to the man until he's finished eating and drinking. And it shall be when he lies down that you shall notice the place where he lies, and you shall go and uncover his feet and lie down. Then he will tell you what you shall do.
And she said to her, All that you say, I will do.
So she went down to the threshing floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law had commanded her. When Boas had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain. And she came secretly and uncovered his feet and lay down. And it happened in the middle of the night that the man was startled and bent forward, and behold, a woman was lying at his feet. And he said, Who are you?
And she answered, I am Ruth, your maid.
So spread your covering over your maid, for you are a close. Relative, you are a kinsman.
Now, as we read these verses, let me say right at the beginning that this passage is not to be regarded as a model for proposing marriage. For the avoidance of all doubt, I want to make it clear that I'm not advocating young women. Get in their cars and drive up to the men's dorm at UNC and cover men's feet while they're sleeping and propose marriage. Don't take that from this passage. Seriously, we're trying to understand and dealing with an ancient Hebrew text.
in a cultural setting with customs and practices vastly different from our own. If you've ever attended a wedding in another country, as I have, you will know that customs relating to dating, to romance, and marriage, are very, very different in different countries and different cultures. And certainly, the situation here 3,000 years ago in ancient Israel is far removed from what we are used to today. And to understand this chapter, we need to discuss a couple of customs that were practiced in ancient Israel. First of all, the law of leveret marriage.
That is, if a man dies without being succeeded by any children, it was important in ancient Israel that his name and his inheritance not be lost.
So the brother of the deceased was to marry the widow and through this widow raise children for the deceased brother to keep the man's name and inheritance alive. But it seemed that the practice in Israel certainly at the time of the Book of Ruth included other close relatives. A close relative or a kinsman, as it's sometimes translated, could marry the widow and raise a family in the name of the deceased husband.
So leveret marriage was to preserve the continuity of the family line. In our story, Boaz is a close relative. He is a kinsman. That's emphasized in the text in Ruth. Boaz understands clearly that Ruth is willing to be his wife.
This is a request. or leverage. Marriage.
Now, for how the story proceeds, come back next Sunday. This is more exciting than any soap opera, isn't it? We're gonna leave them there at the moment. and to pick up the story next week, Lord willing. But let me suggest to you three lessons Three lessons in relationships.
Number one, which we've seen follow Godly. Council. in matters of relationships, in matters of dating and certainly in matters of marriage, follow godly counsel. Ruth three is an example of a younger woman, Ruth, following the wise counsel of a godly woman, Naomi. Parents, family members and friends have important input in your choice of a husband or wife.
Now, I realize they're not infallible, I realize they can be prejudiced, but listen to their advice, particularly if they're strong Christians. They are acting in your best interest. When it comes to matters of the heart, taking advice, particularly when it's contrary to what we want to hear, is very difficult, isn't it? But learn to listen. to the godly council.
of Christian parents. If you have Christian parents. Spiritual friends. spiritual leaders. who give you Godly.
advice.
Now parents, This is not a mandate to control your children. are to be so obsessive or to think that no one is good enough for little Johnny or little Susie. Don't try to manipulate your children when it comes to these relationships. That's a recipe for disaster. Your primary focus as a Christian parent, as a Christian friend, should be to pray for them and to guide them, not control them, to guide them in making spiritual decisions.
Your personal likes and dislikes are not the issue. But here's a question for all of us. Am I the kind of person Who seeks counsel from others. Or do I simply follow my own desires? particularly in terms of relationships.
Do you look for counsel for input from others Or are you so bullheaded and so focused, you say, This is what I must do, and I really don't care about anyone else? That's not Ruth, that's not Bois.
Sometimes couples about to get married think that they don't need marital counselling. I've come across several. couples over the years. I think of one couple that Goodney and I met. We were going to be at their wedding.
I wasn't officiating, but we met with this couple and I said to them, well, how did you get on during the premarital counselling? And the young man looked at me and laughed. He said, We don't need that stuff. I said, Oh, you don't? No, he says.
He said, Oh, he Pastor gave us some book to read. He said it was a kind of a Mickey Mouse thing. He said, I don't need that. As we left, I said to Goodney, Yeah, that really that really troubles me. And it wasn't a surprise a few years later that we heard that that marriage had unravelled.
And they're now divorced. Lesson number one. Obtain and follow godly. Council. Here is lesson number two.
Not inconsistent with the first, although you may think it is. Seize the opportunities that God gives you. In chapter 2, we learn that divine providence and human initiative are not incompatible. Yes, we believe very strongly in a sovereign God who is in control of all things, but being a Christian, being a follower of Christ is not a life of fatalism or passivity or luck. In their new circumstances, Naomi and Ruth show great initiative.
Now God is going before them. God leads Ruth to the right field. God is working behind the scenes, and God is now opening a door. for Ruth to know Boas. But the point is, when God opens a door and God gives you an opportunity He expects you not just to admire the door, but to go through it.
And sometimes People don't do that. seize the opportunity. If you believe If you're single, if you believe And you say, well, God is in control, that is true, but if you believe that God is just going to deliver your mate to your doorstep, Your choice is very limited. It's going to be the mailman. Or possibly a Jehovah's Witness.
I mean, if that's what you want.
Well, God will just work it out. I don't need to do anything. No, Ruth is not like that. Neomi is not like that. They are taking advantage of the opportunities.
which God is giving them. As a young man, I As all sensible young men do, I prayed for a godly wife. And I had met many. Young woman. In my brief life to that point, none of them.
I wanted to marry and I'm sure most of them didn't want to marry me. But then I met Goodney. She came to Scotland on a two week missions trip. I saw her. And I thought, here is someone I want to get to know.
That was kind of difficult. Her English was very limited, English being her third language. Communication was difficult, it sometimes still is, but we can't blame the language for that. But I was smart enough to know That I had been praying, but now God was giving me an opportunity. She's only going to be two weeks in Scotland.
And I remember the proverb, it's not in the Bible. But I remember the proverb, Faint heart never won fair lady.
So here was an opportunity. I had been praying, and now God brought right in front of me, literally, this young woman that I found very intriguing, very attractive, and I wanted to get to know her. And I quickly and enthusiastically seized the opportunity. I realized Here was an answer to prayer. I realized in a few days this young woman would be sailing back to the Faroe Islands.
So, this wasn't the time just to meditate and to go into solitude and pray for ten months about it. I had to act. Which I did. She took a little longer in appreciating the incredible opportunity that was in front of her. But I just think she probably wasn't praying as hard as I was.
Remember the proverb: the mind of man plans his way. But the Lord directs his step. Isn't that wonderful to know that you don't need to panic about relationships? There are people here who are single.
Some who are single again and you'd love to get married. There is no need to panic. God is going ahead of you. And God will open doors, and God is well able to bring the right person into your life. But as you pray, and when the opportunity comes, seize that opportunity.
I've had over my ministry particularly young men come to me and talk about a young woman and say, Pastor, will you pray for me? I'll say, Yes, I'm praying, but what about some action? I mean, what do you expect? Action is sometimes necessary. Seize the opportunities.
God. Gives you third. seek a marriage. In the Lord.
Now, when I say don't be passive but seize the opportunity, I don't mean that you zoom out of the sanctuary this morning and grab the nearest available single person of the opposite sex. That's not what I'm saying. At least introduce yourself first. That's good advice. Have you noticed how difficult it is for many people to find a husband or wife.
There are approximately eighty million eligible singles in the US. about fifteen million people between the ages of twenty five and thirty four. Over twenty million of the single adults in the US are single again following a divorce. That's a lot of singles. But the question is Are you truly seeking a marriage In the Lord.
I had the joy yesterday of officiating at a marriage which was Outside, believe it or not. Got a remit from the the bad weather. And what a joy it was uh to stand with this young couple And lead them in their vows, knowing that they were not just going through a formality. That the wedding wasn't just about all of the trappings, although it was a very beautiful wedding. That here was a young couple in their mid-twenties.
Having truly a marriage in the Lord, that they love Jesus Christ and they love one another and they believe that God has brought them together. How wonderful! A marriage. in the Lord. Are you trusting God?
Do you believe that God Will open a door of opportunity for you as he did for Ruth. Do you pray? About this? Are you really in prayer about this? Do you recognize that being single or being married are both gifts from God?
That God's design for many people is to be married, but His design for other people is to be single. Singleness is a gift of God to some Christians. And don't think That if you're unhappy being single, that marriage will guarantee your future happiness. That is a monumental mistake.
Some of the most unhappy people I know are married.
Someone has said that marriage is like flies on the window. Those outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. And if you're happily married and you know singles. Don't keep telling them what's wrong with them that they're not married. Do you understand that some people are called?
to be Single? It's not God's will for everyone to be married. And the most important relationship in my life is not to be with my wife or my son or my grandson. The most important relationship in my life, as in your life, is with Jesus Christ. And that is much more important than whether you're married or single, but as to whether or not you have a relationship, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
That is the key, that is central. All of life is to be centered on Jesus Christ. And this Christ, who not only is our Savior, but who, as we thought of on Easter Sunday, is our Lord. We bow the knee to Him, we confess that He is Lord.
Now, Lord, will you guide me and will you direct me? Because in this matter of relationships, certainly in marriage, I don't want to make the wrong mistake, but I believe that you're such a great God and such a wonderful God. that you can certainly help me. in this important choice. In my life.
And if you're considering getting married, make sure you marry in. The Lord. You say are physical and personality attractions, are they important? Yes, they are important, but people's appearances and personalities do change. Make sure That your relationship has a solid spiritual foundation on Jesus Christ.
Only a strong spiritual foundation will sustain a growing and a lasting relationship. If you base your relationship, man, On only physical attraction, I guarantee your relationship won't last. You'll marry a little blonde, and then a year later you'll be attracted to a redhead who's six feet. You marry a brunette and then you'll find A blonde is attractive. If the physical attraction is driving the relationship, it will not last.
Here is Hallie Berry, who I think all of us, certainly the men here, would regard as a very attractive woman. She says this: Being thought of as a beautiful woman has spared me nothing in life. No heartaches, no trouble. Love has been difficult. Beauty is essentially meaningless.
And it is always transitory.
Now that's from Harley Bury. Proverbs thirty-one puts it this way: Charm is deceptive. And beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord. It's to be Praised.
That's it. You see, before you seek a marriage in the Lord, make sure. that you are growing. In the Lord.
Before you decide what kind of person you want to marry, be concerned with what kind of person you are. Make sure you're like Ruth. We admire. She's living by radical faith. She's seeking her refuge under his wings.
And Boaz and Ruth both have their refuge, their fortress in the Lord. And no wonder. God Is at work. The New Testament warns against the unequal yoke. Paul says, Don't be bound together with unbelievers.
What has a believer in common with an unbeliever? 2 Corinthians 6. If you're a true believer in Jesus Christ, your greatest desire is not to be married, is not to have significant relationships, your top desire is to please Jesus Christ. Christ and don't think, even think for one moment of marrying a person who doesn't love and follow and know Christ. Don't compromise.
Have Christ as the foundation of your life and of your marriage. Seek a marriage. In the Lord.
Now, today, whether you're married or whether you're single or whether you're singled again, whether you're divorced or widowed, whoever you are, whatever your experience of love and relationships, all of us, I trust, can be encouraged by knowing that we can trust God. and that our deepest need for unconditional love and acceptance and forgiveness and peace and fulfilment are met not in another human being, but are met in our Lord Jesus Christ. And my identity comes not from being a married man, my identity comes from being in Christ, that I am a child of God, and that God is at work in my life. And that God is at work in your life, brother and sister. He is at work in the lives of ordinary people like Naomi and Ruth.
Nothing special about this couple. Living in Moab and going to this apparently insignificant little village of Bethlehem 3,000 years ago. But how wonderful God is watching over them and God is guiding them and blessing them in every area of their life, and God is watching over you. and me. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
And God is well able to lead you to marry the person of his choice. He is well able to bring friends into your life. He's well able to bless you in every circumstance of life. The same God. 3,000 years ago, who is blessing this Moabite widow Ruth, is the same God who will bless you, is the same God who will guide you.
Take godly counsel. Humbly submit to the will of the Lord. Seize the opportunities that God gives you and trust Him in every circumstance of life, because sheltering under His wings. is a path of blessing. and of hope.
Let me ask each of you just to ask for God's guidance and blessing. Many of you here are married. But we need God's guidance and blessing.
Some of you are single, single again. And will you pray particularly for God's guidance in these relationships, perhaps in a choice? of a spouse.
Some of you are young, your teens, will you pray? That in this matter of relationship, you will live a holy life waiting on. On the Lord. sheltering under his wings. Just pray.
for God's guidance and blessing in your life, because our God is a god of hope. and the God of new beginning. and the god of the future. Our father, we sang. That you are a mighty fortress, that you are our refuge and our strength, our very present help in trouble, and how comforting it is to flee to that refuge.
The name of the Lord is a tower. And you encourage us to find our refuge and our help. In your name. I pray, Father, that each one of us will be finding our shelter under your wings. For those who don't know Christ, for those who are wandering through life on their own may they to day begin.
A new relationship, a new life. as they receive Christ. As their Saviour and Lord, the one who died for them and the one who rose again. And for those who are followers of Christ, Father, we humble ourselves under your mighty hand. Lead us.
and guide us. Bless us. and protect us. In Christ's magnificent name, as we look to you, the God. of hope.
And the God of our future. Amen. This is the verdict with Pastor John Monroe and a lesson from the Book of Ruth titled A Marriage Proposal. We'll continue our study on Ruth when we return tomorrow. To revisit any of these daily lessons, just go to our website at the verdict.org.
And right now, we're excited to offer you a free copy of the custom listening guide John has put together for our series in Ruth. With content specially designed for each of these daily lessons, this printable workbook will equip you with key notes, questions, and specific prompts to help you apply the biblical teaching from the story of Ruth to your own life to day. There's so much to unpack from this little book in the Bible, and we want to help you discover it all with this valuable free resource. Reach out and download your copy of the Ruth Listening Guide today by going online to theverdict.org. And while you're on our website, you'll have the opportunity to play a part in what God is doing through the verdict with a simple one-time donation of any amount.
You can easily give whatever amount you feel led to by visiting theverdict.org. And don't forget to subscribe to the Verdict podcast. In addition to these programs, John has a weekly podcast called Avizandam, where he shares his personal thoughts on relevant topics like church and politics, the uniqueness of Israel, and how to engage the culture for Christ. You can hear it all by subscribing to the Verdict Podcast.
Now, here's Pastor Jean Monroe with his closing remarks for today's lesson. Uh Well, what's your verdict? One of the great blessings of being a follower of Jesus Christ is that we understand that our true identity is not being single or married, but being in Christ. And God will give us clear guidance in our relationships as we look to Him for direction. The Lord guides Ruth to this little town of Bethlehem over 3,000 years ago.
and the same God is watching over you. Humbly look to God, obtain godly counsel, and trust Him in every circumstance of life. Join me next time as we continue in Ruth chapter 3. Thanks for joining us today on The Verdict. I'm Michelle Davies.
Today's program with Pastor John Monroe was produced and sponsored by Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina.
