Today on the verdict with Pastor John Monroe. How do we summarize the message today is this? Peter is saying to husbands. Who are followers of Christ. Treat your wife.
with sensitivity. and honor. In what way can you as a husband Honor your wife. Welcome to the verdict with Pastor John Monroe, Senior Pastor at Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. Peter gives six verses of instruction to wives, but only one verse to husbands.
Yet what a verse it is. 1 Peter 3.7 contains revolutionary teaching that challenges every Christian man to examine how he treats his wife. Because how you relate to your wife directly affects your relationship with God. Here's Pastor John Monroe with this message. A Christian husband.
It's sometimes said that being married is like flies on the window. Those outside want to get in. Those inside want to get out. But it is God who instituted marriage. it's good to be married and one of the great joys of life.
Marriage is the most delightful of all human relationships. We're looking at the opening verses of 1 Peter chapter 3 where Peter writes of Christian husbands and wives. Last time we learned that husbands are to treat our wives with sensitivity and honor. This means that husbands must spend time with their wives, listening to them. seeking to understand them.
responding appropriately. I love how Peter goes to the heart of the matter in verse 7. Today, we continue this all-important and very practical teaching directed to Christian husbands. 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 7 One through six, Peter has addressed wives are now Husbands, here it is. Likewise, husbands?
Live with your wives in an understanding way. showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel. Since they are heirs with you of the grace of life.
So that your prayers May not be hindered. Isn't it interesting that Peter, who is married, gives six verses. to the wives and only one to the husband. Paul, who may not have been married. Gives more instruction to the husband.
So we have four husbands in the sense we only have one verse.
So we need to get this one verse. Right. What is he saying? Here it is. Tree your wives With sensitivity.
and honour. Christian husbands are to treat their wives with sensitivity. In an understanding way, with consideration is a point. He begins verse 7 by saying, likewise, just as he did in verse 1, likewise he's continuing the theme that we are to live in an attitude of respect and humility before everyone. And so he's connecting this to the previous teaching.
He does not say that husbands are to be in subjection to their own wives, but this teaching is radical. in that culture. Likewise husbands. Live with your wives in an understanding way. Men, we are to be considerate our wives.
We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, Paul says. That means that you are to put the needs. Of your wife. Before you're on. Paul says you are to nourish and cherish your wife.
That's a high calling, isn't it? That was revolutionary in the first century. It's revolutionary in this 21st century.
Some husbands think if they provide for their family financially that they've discharged their responsibilities. No. Live with your wife. in an understanding way. Men, I ask you, in your hearts.
Are you doing that? Are you sensitive? And you consider it To your wife. Harshness, meanness, anger, bitterness have no part in the Christian home. Be kind.
Be tender. Be considerate and understanding. And mothers who are at home with young children need Additional sensitivity. and care.
Now this is what Peter says. Likewise, men, live with your wives in an understanding way. We're seeing that, showing her honor as the weaker vessel. Peter reminds husbands that their wives are the weaker vessel. Generally speaking, men are physically stronger than their wives.
I've never arm-wrestled with my wife, but I think. I would win. I certainly hope so. We are generally physically stronger, bigger than our wives. Our wives are generally speaking, and I'm being general here, are more sensitive.
are more easily hurt than their husbands. In my office upstairs, I have uh several boxes of Kleenex. Few over the years have been used by men. Many. have been used by women.
Peter is saying this. Remember. She's the weaker vessel. Be gentle with your wife. Don't abuse your wife.
Certainly don't physically assault your wife. Don't abuse your wife verbally or sexually or emotionally. There are many angry men. Anger has no part in the Christian home. And some of you are very angry because of what's happened to you in the past.
End that anger. Don't bring out that anger on your wife and your family. That is disastrous. Scripture tells us generally to be kind, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ has forgiven you. That's true of us generally, but certainly in the home.
Men, we recognize our wives are the weaker vessel, so tenderness and care is needed and. A smart man, a Christian man, tries to understand his wife's personality, feelings, fears, needs, hurts, frustrations, ambitions, temperament, thought patterns. Is that easy for us? No, it wasn't easy for me. I was brought up in a male-dominated home.
With five brothers? I think I understand men. I understand boys. Trying to understand my young wife was not easy for me to begin with. I thought I was very.
uh surprised when she didn't laugh at the my brilliant jokes. Par Schumer. Uh was very different. How we related was very different. And I thought, you know, what is this?
This is not how my brothers would respond in a situation. And I hate to learn. As we all have to learn, men. The woman is different.
Some of you had sisters, maybe it was easier for you, I don't know. But we have to try to understand our wife. Her hurts, her ambitions, what she's actually thinking, that takes time, that takes conversation. I wonder if Husbands, how well do you know your wife? We don't get to know one another until we reveal.
ourselves. If I don't know you, we speak. And in order to have a connection, we reveal something about ourselves. Husbands. Take time.
I ask the right questions. Your wife begins to Go in a certain direction that you don't like, and you can sense some criticism is going to come. Don't cut her off. Listen to her. You may not agree with her, but listen to her.
Treat her tenderly, lovingly, and respectfully. Peter says, as the weaker vessel, she's a woman. And single men, when you date... A Christian woman, you're not going to date an unbeliever, remember. Man.
She's a woman. Treated with sensitivity, with tenderness. and with care.
Now, although Peter is saying the woman is a weaker vassal, That does not mean That women do not have strength of character. We all know very strong women. My mother. was one five feet too small. My mother was one of the strongest people I know.
Not physically obviously. In another generation, I think she could have been successful in any profession she chose. But her skills, her endurance, her self-sacrificial nature in that culture, in that generation, were used by God to rear six boys. Even when my father died suddenly, my mother was 49, just before her 50th birthday. And My two youngest brothers were 11 and 15.
I had a brother who was handicapped through having brain surgery, so there was my mother left. I was out of the home. My other brothers were out of the home. We were married. But there was my mother left.
With Two young boys to bring up. and another son who needed special care.
Now that takes more skill than my job. And we respect Such women, don't we? We hold them in high regard. Yes, they may be weaker. Physically, but they're strong in the Lord, a strength of character, an endurance that they are submitting to the purposes of God.
Now, Peter gives another injunction to ensure that Christian men don't patronize or demean our wives. What does it say again? Live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since there is with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. Isn't this very interesting? We are To treat our wives with sensitivity But we're also to treat our wives with honor.
We're to honor our wives. We're equally made in the image of God. Both of us are fallen. Both of us need redemption in Jesus Christ. Both of us need forgiveness and repentance.
We're both gifted. God gifts men and gifts women. We're equal, but we're different. And so he says here, remember, Since they are heirs with you, co-heirs of the grace of life. Good and I are co-heirs of the grace of life.
You and your wife, if you're both Christians, are co-heirs of the grace of life, sharing the inheritance of the grace of life. In other words, that's the most important thing about us. Yes, with different interests. Similar interests? But we are heirs of the grace of life.
We have a common destiny. We've both been saved. Christ is a work in our lives. And we look forward as we sang of that great day when Christ will come. And the Christian husband then Will submit his own interests, his preferences, for the good of his wife and children.
Do you feel that you're treating your Wife. With honour. We brought up the wives here. And all of them could tell the truth. What would they say?
I don't expect them to say you're perfect, of course not. Wh could they say my husband? in his adages, in his actions, in his speech. Honours. Me.
I've met many wives who have felt Watchless. They felt put down. They may not have been physically assaulted, but they have been verbally assaulted. There are men who try to control their wives. That is not honouring them.
They treat them like a bird in a cage. They may tightly control all of the finances. I remember This man who was very upset. His fiancée, in fact, had even married, and we were talking about finances. He said she's got no regard for money.
She had the money as well, he didn't. In my opinion, she was hardworking. He didn't like work too much. And he got very upset because she had gone to Starbucks and bought coffee. He said, this is poor stewardship.
You could stay at home and and make a cup of coffee for fifty cents. I said, are you kidding? You're going to Object? to your wife going out with some of her friends. And having a cup of coffee?
I mean, what control? How does that demean your wife? We treat them with honour. Yes, there is financial Um prudence, of course there is. But men, don't put down your wives.
Don't treat them as inferior. They're not your slave. They're not your servant. They are co-heirs with you of the grace of life. Encourage them.
Our goal is as husbands To help her wives fulfill all of the purposes of God in their life.
So do you listen to your wife? Do you know what goes on? Would some of her friends know her better than you? Do you try to understand her? Do you show affection to her?
Are you cold towards your wife? Over the years, there's been a distancing. That's not honoring her. Do you admit it when you're wrong? That's tough for us, isn't it?
It's tough for me because I'm very seldom wrong. I understand. This is difficult. For this, we need the filling of the Spirit of God. We need help, we need spiritual help.
But your wife is an heir with you of the grace of life. Christian men, all men, certainly Christian men, should be characterized by courtesy, by good manners, and respect for women. Remember Paul in the epistles, the pastoral epistles, he reminds Timothy that you treat the older woman as mothers. And you treat The younger women as sisters. I don't have a sister, but if I did, men, I would expect you to treat my sister with respect.
My mother is with the Lord, but if my mother were alive and came to Calvary Church, as she interacted with you, man, I would expect you to treat my mother with respect. and love. Isn't that true of us? Good manners. We live in a crash society, don't we?
where language is becoming very vulgar. Where speak people speak. and very harsh, vulgar. Even blasphemous way that should have no part of the language of a Christian and certainly should not be part of the home. If that's part of your home, your children are going to speak like that.
We should never do anything that would dishonour her wife. In her speech. in our conduct. In the bedroom. Our wives should always respect us.
That's what Paul says in Ephesians 5:33. Men, husbands, love your wife. Wives, see to it that you respect your husband. We should never ever ask our wife to do something that would cause her to disrespect us. Our wives should be in no doubt.
that we love them. that we respect them. That we care for them, that we protect them, that we provide for them, and that we hold them in the highest of esteem. And here's the wonderful thing. As you do that in the fear of the Lord, looking to the Lord for help.
The Christian. Husband. Husband's treatment of his wife. greatly impacts his spiritual life. in particularly greatly impacts their prayer life.
So that Notice the last part of verse 7, so that your prayers may not be hindered. You ever wonder why God isn't answering your prayers? One reason may be, man, because you're not treating your wife with honor, you're not treating her with in an understanding way. How we treat our wives has a direct bearing on our prayer life. Our communion with God is adversely impacted if we don't follow the teaching of 1 Peter 3, verse 7.
If you're not honoring your wife, if you're not treating her with sensitivity, your prayer life is going to be hindered. Bitterness in a husband-wife relationship, then, adversely impacts our spiritual life. God views very seriously then. how we as husbands relate to our wives. Your relationship with your wife Impacts your relationship with the Lord.
The closer you are to the Lord, the closer spiritual you're going to be with your wife. The further away you are from the Lord, the further away you're gonna be from your wife.
So we're to protect them. We're to grant them honor. Protecting your wife's reputation. Defending them if necessary, certainly being courteous, holding them in high esteem, loving them as Christ loved the church. How do we summarize the message today is this, Peter is saying to husbands.
who are followers of Christ. Treat your wife. with sensitivity. And honor. You know it's true.
All of us here are going to agree with that. What about the practice? Think this way, man. Not in a Silly way. Not going over the top, but in an authentic way.
You know your wife. In what way can you, as a husband, All in order. Your wife. When we obey God in marriage, there are wonderful rewards. Peter says that the Christian wife may have the joy of seeing her unbelieving husband come to Christ.
The Christian wife, who is characterized by the imperishable. the hidden, the imperishable attitude of a quiet spirit has the reward of being precious in the sight of God. The Christian wife who hopes in God, who is submissive to her husband, does what is right, will have a godly confidence, will not walk in fear. will be strong in the Lord. Secure in her relationship with God.
And with her husband, and will be a woman then who impacts not only her home, but those around her. The Christian husband who treats his wife. With sensitivity and honor, will have the joy of having a vibrant prayer life. And the strong walk. With the Lord.
Obey God. In your marriage. And for all of this we need Divine Help. We're going to ask God. For his help.
that we would have Christ-centered homes and marriages and relationships. Husbands Wives Could you stand? I want to pray for all of the husbands and wives. Goodnight, can you come up here so I can Hold your hand. Maybe it's a while since you held the hand of your Your wife.
Put your arm around her. And think not of the marriage of others. but of your marriage. and look around and see The many, many marriages and homes We need God's help, don't we? We need Christ centered home.
We need to make that commitment. to our wives, our father and our God. I thank you for The husbands for the wise standing here. I praise you. for the strong marriages.
The marriages that honor you. May they grow and grow. I pray for the men in particular that they will love their wives as Christ loved the church. I pray that they will live with their wives with understanding. that they will honor them.
I pray that they will repent of any bitterness, of selfishness, of sin. of abuse, of any way that they've hurt their wife. and have gone against your word. Give them humility. May they turn from that.
And that you will fill their hearts with love, and that love will overflow to their wives and to their children. We realize that we have an enemy who seeks to divide us, who attacks us in so many ways, and particularly in our marriages.
So we pray that we will not give him an opportunity. but that you will strengthen. These men, that you will give them wisdom, that they will be wise and godly leaders, making an impact not only in their homes but in their society. And I pray this in Christ's name. Amen.
This is the verdict with Pastor John Monroe concluding his powerful message on the Christian husband. Is a sobering reminder that our marriages aren't separate from our spiritual lives. They're inextricably intertwined. And as we navigate these challenging but essential Biblical truths, you might find yourself wrestling with this idea of living every day with a Biblical perspective. That's why we want to offer you John's comprehensive guide for the time is near.
This insightful resource explores the book of Revelation, helping you understand God's prophetic timeline and how His plan for the future should shape how we live today. When we develop an eternal perspective, it transforms how we view our purpose and relationships.
So request your free copy today by going online to theverdict.org. Your support of the verdict enables us to continue bringing these biblical lessons to families around the world. Every gift, whether $20, $50, or whatever amount you choose, helps marriages grow stronger through God's Word. When you invest in this ministry, you're investing in homes that honor Christ. Make your secure donation today at theverdict.org.
And if you're in the Charlotte area, we want to invite you to visit us at Calvary Church, home of the Verdict, where John serves as senior pastor. If you're in the area, come join us for Sunday worship at our campus, located at Highway 51 and Ray Road. or join through our live stream online. To find service times and directions, just go to theverdict.org.
Now, here's Pastor John Monroe with closing remarks.
Well, what's your verdict? Husbands, are you treating your wife with sensitivity? Are you seeking to understand her? Do you spend time with her? Do you listen to her?
This does not mean that you're going to totally understand your wife. But one of the ways you honor your wife is by being sensitive to her and listening to her.
So, whether you're a husband or wife, reflect on your marriage. Ask God's help to have a marriage which honors God. He will give you all of the help you need. Unless the Lord builds the house, we labor in vain. Thanks for joining us today on The Verdict.
I'm Michelle Davies. Today's program with Pastor John Monroe was produced and sponsored by Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina.
