Today on the verdict with Pastor John Monroe. Treat your wives with sensitivity and honour. Christian husbands are to treat their wives with sensitivity. He begins verse 7 by saying, likewise, just as he did in verse 1, likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. Welcome to the Verdict, featuring the Bible teaching of Pastor John Monroe.
Despite countless books, seminars, and counseling resources, so many marriages seem to flounder. Could we be looking in the wrong places for advice? Today, we turn to Peter's concise yet profound instruction to Christian husbands that can transform your approach to your marriage. Here's Pastor John Monroe with the first part of his message: The Christian Husband. Over the last two broadcasts, we've thought of the teaching by the Apostle Peter to Christian wives.
Now in one verse, 1 Peter 3 verse 7, Peter addresses husbands. The state of marriage has changed dramatically over the last hundred years. Divorce used to be quite rare.
Now it's commonplace. There are many reasons for the breakdown of marriages. One of the main reasons from a Christian perspective is that many marriages are not Christ-centered. Authentic Christianity is very practical. After all, marriage is God's idea, and if we're going to have a successful marriage, we must do it God's way.
It's very easy to get married It's another thing to have a biblical marriage, a good marriage and home. Let's return to Scripture as Peter turns his attention now to Christian husbands. If you are married, as many of you are. What did you expect? From your Wife.
What did you expect? From your husband. Here is what someone said is an ideal wife, what every man expects. She'll always be beautiful and cheerful. She could marry a movie star, but wants only you.
She will have her hair that never needs curlers or booty shops. Her beauty won't run in a rainstorm She'll never be sick. Just a larger dig to jewellery and expensive clothes and shoes. She will insist that moving the furniture by herself is good for her figure. She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning house, fixing the car, painting the house.
Her favorite hobbies will be mowing the lawn and working in the yard. She will hate credit cards. Her favorite expression will be What can I do for you today? That's the ideal wife, this is what he expects, this is what he gets. She speaks one hundred and forty words a minute with gusts up to one hundred and eighty.
Uh she's a light eater. As soon as it gets light, she starts eating. Yeah. Where there's smoke, there she is cooking. She lets you know you only have two faults: everything you say and everything you do.
No matter what she does with it, her hair looks like an explosion in a steel wool factory. If you get lost. Open your wallet, she'll find you. Here's the ideal husband, what every woman expects. He will be a brilliant conversationalist.
He'll be very sensitive, kind, understanding, humorous, loving and romantic. Science just like myself. He will be a hard-working man. Help around the house by cooking, not so much. Washing dishes, vacuuming floors, taking care of the yard.
He will be a handsome, tender man. of emotional and physical strength. What she gets. He will always take her to the best restaurants.
Someday he may take her inside. Yeah, yeah. Any time he gets an idea in his head, he has the whole thing in a nutshell. Just like composite. Um he's a well-known miracle worker.
It's a miracle when he works. He supports his wife in a manner to which she was accustomed. He's letting her keep her job. He's such a bore that he bores you to death when he gives you a compliment. He has occasional flashes of silence.
that makes his conversation brilliant.
Well, there you are.
Some of you don't like that. You think it's very cynical. I think it's very funny. Please, no emails over it. This is only in jest.
Um For those of you who have no Schumer Uh I I'm so sorry. Um It's always the jokes and the illustrations that get the great emotion. Wish we felt so much of our doctrine, right?
Well, the state of marriage in the in the United States is not encouraged. Encouraging. Fewer people are getting married. and are delaying getting married. And I read recently that seventy percent of divorces are initiated by women.
one of the reasons some young men are hesitant to marry. Many couples, although they are not divorced, have very poor marriages. And that's in spite of all of the books, seminars, videos, counsels and experts on marriage. Never have we had such a barrage on how to have a good marriage. And so today We look to the Word of God.
We need biblical teaching, don't we? on marriage and Relationships. Last week, I spoke to the wise as we looked at the first six verses of 1 Peter 3. We're going to look at one verse today, and it's found in 1 Peter 3 verse 7.
So let's turn to our Bibles. 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 7. One through six, Peter has addressed wives and now Husbands, here it is. Likewise, husbands? Husbands, are you listening?
Live with your wives. in an understanding way. showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel. Since they are heirs with you of the grace of life.
So that your prayers May not be hindered.
Now we know from scripture that men and women are equal in personhood and dignity. and in value, but the Bible clearly presents a distinction between men and a woman. And that distinction goes right back to the creation ordinance of Genesis 2 and is repeated throughout the Old Testament and the New Testament. We realize this is disputed today with transgenderism and so on. But we believe in the continuing authority of the Bible as the Word of God.
It is our pattern and our guide for all of life, in spite of what society may say. And without a firm foundation in our marriages, in our lives, in our relationships, we will flounder. And we will be open to the Latest ideological or philosophical wind and fad switch. blow like a wind through our landscape. Peter is writing to believers, believers who are suffering.
Believers who are experiencing injustice, some of them have been scattered. Had to move from their homes and their families. And Peter, as he writes to them, as we've been learning, he encourages them. and this is difficult for us. He encourages them and us.
to live life with respect and with humility. And all of their relationships and in their marriage. What about your marriage? In your marriage in the past, there may have been many difficulties, perhaps even some marital failure. Mistakes may have been made, harsh words spoken, bitter attitudes nursed in the past.
Others of you will face problems and crisis in your marriage in these coming months. I ask you not to despair. You may feel your marriage is very bad. You may feel you are toiling, but I'm going to give you great encouragement from the Word of God. I'm going to say: if you do things God's way, God will honor you and glorify you.
So we want to pay careful attention to the teaching of Scripture on this important subject of marriage and relationships.
Now these verses, 1 Peter 3 verses 1 through 7, are not a complete discourse on marriage. That's not what Peter is saying. He's writing in a particular context, as we saw last week. But I wanted to say to all of us. particularly to the singles.
Who may be wondering if you'd get married or not? Marriage is a wonderful gift from God. When I have the privilege of marrying couples here, I emphasize That marriage is God's idea. It's not our idea. It's not that we woke up and thought, well, this is a good way to organize our things.
It's not because of legislation. It's not because of a decision of the Supreme Court. No, this is God's way. That men and woman should come together in this holy covenant of marriage. And as a married man, I can say it's a wonderful gift from God.
Not that everyone gets married. As Paul would say in 1 Corinthians 7, some have the gift of celibacy, but most of us are going to get married. That does not mean that there are any perfect marriages. They're not. We are imperfect people.
I remind couples who are about to get married that you are marrying an imperfect person. We are imperfect, and they are imperfect. But here is wise guidance from the scriptures.
Now, last week, we learned four principles which would characterize the Christian life. First of all, Christian wives are to display submission to their own husbands. Verse 1: Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husband. Secondly, wives are to display godly behavior even when their husband is an unbeliever. Again.
End of verse one, even if they don't listen to the word, they may be won by a word, by the conduct of their wives. when they see, here it is, you're respectful and pure. conduct. Christian wives are to display godly behavior. Thirdly, they are to display true beauty.
What's true beauty according to Scripture? Verse 4, like your adorning. Be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. That, says Peter, is precious in the eyes of God. And then finally, as we saw in verses 5 through 6, Christian wives are to trust in God.
Peter gives the example of Sarah, a woman who hoped in God. A woman who showed her respect for her husband in that particular culture, and Christian wives similarly. or to trust in God. They're to respect their husbands and they're not to live in fear.
Sometimes women live in fear. Don't live in fear. Put your trust and your hope in God.
Now, Peter does not tell the unbelieving wife. to leave her unbelieving husband. God will give. Such a wife. All of the help, all of the wisdom she needs to submit to God's purposes for her life and seek to live to God's glory.
This is one of the wonderful things of being a Christian. That whatever your circumstances, whatever the state of your marriage, whatever the state of your life, whatever unforeseen and disappointing circumstances come into our lives, they're all under the sovereign hand of God. And if I trust God, And if I'm humble before God, God will give me. All of the wisdom, all of the grace, all of the strength I need for that day. That while our Christian wife is to submit to her husband, she certainly must not do anything that is sinful or in any way disobedient to the Lord.
However, A wife should certainly not stay in a marriage. where there is continued abuse from her husband. And we're going to learn how we as husbands are to relate to our wives. Isn't it interesting that Peter, who is married, gives six verses to the wives and only one to the husband. Paul, who may not have been married, Gives more instruction to the husband.
So we have four husbands. In a sense, we only have one verse.
So we need to get this one verse. Right. What is he saying? Here it is. Treat your wives.
With sensitivity. And honour. Christian husbands are to treat their wives with sensitivity. In an understanding way, with consideration, is the point. He begins verse 7 by saying, likewise, just as he did in verse 1, likewise he's continuing the theme that we are to live in an attitude of respect and humility before everyone.
And so he's connecting this to the previous teaching. He does not say that husbands are to be in subjection to their own wives, but this teaching is radical. in that culture. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. Men, we are to be considerate our wives.
We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, Paul says. That means that you are to put the needs. Love your wife. Before you're on. Is that difficult first man?
Yes, sometimes it's very difficult. We are, generally speaking, self-centered. We can be very selfish as husbands. But I'm to love my wife and I am to live with her in an understanding, considerate, sensitive way. That's a very high calling, isn't it?
Now notice what Peter says. Husbands, live with your wives. Married men must not live like single men. Sadly, some couples, even Christian couples, don't actually live together.
Sometimes they're in the same house, but they don't actually live together.
Sometimes they are separated. We just live in different places. That's contrary to the word of God. Basically, this is obvious, but I'm going to say it. Husbands.
Live with your Wives.
Someone here separated from your wife? You say, Well, she's a very difficult person to live with, that may be. You to live. With your wife. And in the same house you're to live w together.
Not to live separate lives within the one house. That is not what Scripture would say.
Now I realize sometimes Christian Husbands, Christian wives have to travel. Their employment circumstances may take them away from home, but a married Christian, whether husband or wife, will try to minimize his or her time away from home. I've known man. Who love to travel. And one of the reasons they love to travel is that they want to escape the pressures of home.
At home, there's yard work to be done, there's diapers to be changed, there's screaming children, there's a wife that they think is nagging them, and so they love to get out of town. I can understand that. But for the Christian husband We should try to minimize the time we're away from our families because being away from home. Man? You know this if you travel on business.
Being away from home can lead to all kinds of temptations, can't it? I read just the other week that we now have what's called remote husbands. Remote husbands are are men who work from home. Men and women still specialize generally in different kinds of works. Occupations, jobs and industries such as computer science and engineering are disproportionately performed by men.
Teaching and nursing are dominated by women.
So this results now And more this is find this intriguing. More men than women work from home. Fifty percent of women report Being unable to work remotely at all compared with 39% of men who are unable to work at home. Part of that is because of the difference in professions and occupations.
So this creates a different dynamic in the home. And increases the need for the husband, I would suggest. be more sensitive. He's a home. His wife is working, she's got to travel, she's got more hassle out of the home.
And she comes back home and she's tired. and how important it is, men. That we live with our wives in an understanding way, in your context, whatever that is. with consideration. Paul says you are to nourish and cherish your wife.
That's a high calling, isn't it? That was revolutionary in the first century. It's revolutionary in this 21st century.
Some husbands think if they provide for their family financially that they've discharged their responsibilities. No. Live with your wife. in an understanding way. Men, I ask you, in your hearts.
Are you doing that? Are you sensitive? And you consider it To your wife. In a previous church I was contacted by Couple of young men, sons. And they explained that their parents were about to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary.
And they asked if I would come and renew their vows, read some scripture and pray and I said, Yes, I'd be glad to do that And so good and I go to the people's home. There was going to be the little service of the renewal of their vows. They invited a lot of friends and then we're going to go into the uh house. For um th for the celebration for some food. And we stood outside.
There was a beautiful swimming pool. At the end of the swimming pool, there was a gazebo arch. And there I stood with a couple. They smiled, exchanged vows of love and fidelity, all the rest of it. I read from the scriptures, I prayed with them.
This looked a very, very nice moving. Experienced. Until something happened. which left everyone in complete shock. As the couple were walking to the house by the side of the swimming pool, the husband, for some unknown reason, decided to push his wife into the pool.
Um obviously this was not part of the script. The sons were absolutely furious. The wife. With this wonderful hairdo, which had completely melted, and a beautiful dress, and the sheep bobbed up. from the pool.
In one way it was funny. In another way no one laughed. And in a split second, the husband realized. I think I've done the wrong thing. And we gasped, there was a poor woman, tried to get to the side.
Getting out of the pool with all dignity was very, very difficult. And as we entered the house, there was an awkward silence. You say, Well, that's extreme. I've known men to do extreme things. Don't do that.
I may be funny. Later, it's not funny. Be sensitive, be considerate. Peter's going to say she's a woman. That may be something you do with your friends.
That's not something you do with your wife's men. No, a wife needs a husband to love her, to be tender to her. Harshness, meanness, anger, bitterness have no part in the Christian home. Be kind. Be tender.
Be considerate and understanding. And mothers who are at home with young children need additional sensitivity. and care.
Now this is what Peter says. Likewise, men, live with your wives in an understanding way. We're saying that, showing her honor as the weaker vessel. Peter reminds husbands that their wives are the weaker vessel. Generally speaking, men are physically stronger than their wives.
I've never arm-wrestled with my wife, but I think. I would win, I certainly hope so. We are generally physically stronger, bigger than our wives. Our wives are generally speaking, and I'm being general here, are more sensitive. are more easily hurt than their husbands.
In my office upstairs, I have uh several boxes of Kleenex. Few over the years have been used by men. Many. have been used by women. Peter is saying this.
Remember. She's the weaker vessel. Be gentle with your wife. Don't abuse your wife. Certainly don't physically assault your wife.
Don't abuse your wife verbally or sexually or emotionally. There are many angry men. Anger has no part in the Christian home. And some of you are very angry because of what's happened to you in the past. End that anger.
Don't bring out that anger on your wife and your family. That is disastrous. This is the verdict with Pastor John Monroe and the first part of his message titled The Christian Husband. John's words challenge every married man to examine his heart and his actions. Peter's instruction to husbands, though brief, cuts to the core of what it means to love in a sacrificial way.
When we understand that Christ's ultimate victory includes the restoration of all relationships, including marriage, it transforms how we view our daily interactions. Our featured resource, For the Time is Near, is a booklet that explores this connection between having a biblical perspective in our day-to-day living. It's a straightforward guide discussing basic truths from Revelation, which explain how God's eternal plan motivates us to live differently, and this includes our marriages. When you develop an eternal perspective, it changes everything about your relationships and how you treat your spouse. Request your free copy at theverdict.org.
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Join us for powerful worship, warm fellowship, and the same solid biblical teaching you hear on the verdict. We're located in Charlotte, North Carolina, at the corner of Highway 51 and Ray Road. And you can also join us remotely through our live stream online. For more details, just visit theverdict.org.
Now, here's Pastor John Monroe.
Well, what's your verdict? If you're a married man, are you treating your wife with sensitivity and honor? If you're a wife, how are you encouraging your husband, even with his imperfections and flaws? Let me speak directly to husbands. Don't be a chauvinist, don't be domineering.
Love your wife as Christ loved the church. Be sensitive in your interactions with her. honour her as a fellow heir of the grace of life. Keep Christ central. in your marriage and work together to have a marriage in Christ.
We'll continue this next time. Thanks for joining us today on The Verdict. I'm Michelle Davies. Today's program with Pastor John Monroe was produced and sponsored by Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina.
