Tearing Down Family Strongholds

Only spiritual weapons can defeat spiritual strongholds. Dr. Tony Evans says the problems facing married couples are too serious to be solved with worldly wisdom. If you are rebelling against the authority of Christ over your life and over your home, don't blame God if your family is falling apart. This is The Alternative with Dr. Tony Evans, author, speaker, senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas, and president of the Urban Alternative. As far back as the Garden of Eden, Satan's been using family conflict as a weapon against us. Today, Dr. Evans shows how to tear down the strongholds the enemy set up in your home.

Let's join him. Everyone under the sound of my voice is either in a family or is close to a family that is falling apart. Whether it's a husband and wife relationship that has become paralyzed, whether it's children who are living rebelliously, or whether it's a generational curse that you are under. And so you want to throw in the towel, you want to go to the divorce court, you want to give up because you just don't see how in the world you will be released from this stronghold.

The principle is clear. Only spiritual weapons can defeat spiritual strongholds. And often we apply spiritual weapons last and not first.

What is the cause, first of all, the cause of family strongholds? Well you heard it in Genesis chapter 3. The deterioration of the first family, Adam, was caused or initiated by an angel, for Satan is an angel. He came and he visited the first family and caused spiritual deterioration, which led to relational deterioration. It wasn't relationships first that went bad between human beings, it was relationship with God that went bad.

And it worked itself out in the human environment. So we can trace the first family breakup to an angel, and I would like to go on record as saying we can trace every family breakup in its root to an angel. Because Satan's premier goal next to destroying you is the destruction of your family. The cause of family stronghold is satanic infiltration.

Satan or one of his minions infiltrate the family through the flesh or through the world or through your past or through any number of things and he exacerbates evil that is already present. How does he do it? What are the conditions of family stronghold? What does he use to bring about discord? And I'm not talking about an argument, I'm talking about a stronghold where you are locked into a problem you can't break out of. He uses a number of things.

Let me give you a few of them. One of the vehicles through which Satan gets opportunity to bring a stronghold into your home is unresolved anger. Look with me at Ephesians chapter 4.

He says in verse 25, therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not give the devil an opportunity. It is the prolonged buildup of anger that provides the steering wheel for Satan to turn a problem into a stronghold because he says in verse 27, for Satan that becomes a what?

An opportunity. Satan needs certain vehicles in order to break into your life and to break into your home and unresolved anger is one of them. That is anger that has been allowed to accumulate for which you have not addressed or gotten help to address. He uses another thing to destroy families and to bring them in strongholds. He uses rebellion to go against God's authorized order of authority.

Second Peter has some strong words about rebellion. Look at what he says in 2 Peter chapter 2 verse 4, for if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them the pits of darkness reserved for judgment, and he didn't spare the ancient world, so he didn't spare angels and he didn't spare the ancient world doing Noah's time, and if he condemned verse 6, Sodom and Gomorrah, reducing them to ashes, rescuing verse 7 lot, then he comes in verse 10 and he says, and especially those who indulge in the flesh and its corrupt desires and despise authority, daring self-will they do not tremble when they revile angelic majesties. Whereas angels who are greater in might and power, verse 11 says, do not bring a reveling judgment against them before the Lord.

But these like unreasoning animals, born as creatures of instinct to be captured and killed, reviling where they have no knowledge, will in the destruction of those creatures also be destroyed. He says these people have no respect for powerful angels, and therefore they place themselves under the judgment of God. The point is simply this, wherever there is rebellion against God's legitimate chain of command, there is God's judgment and not God's help. Mister, if you are rebelling against the authority of Christ over your life and over your home, don't blame God if your family's falling apart, ma'am.

If you bought into the feminism lie, if you bought into the women's lib lie, and I'm not talking about equal pay for equal work, I'm talking about not respecting God's chain of command in the family, don't blame God if deterioration sets into your home. Because God must always operate by virtue of his chain if you're going to get his help to break your stronghold. In Exodus chapter 20, he said that down to the third and fourth generation could be cursed by the disobedient of the parents if the kids don't reverse it themselves because of what parents can hand over to their children.

And many of us as families are not only messing up our lives, we didn't already ruin our grandchildren. Because we set a series of events at work in our rebellion against God's authority that will show up in them. Let me give you an example of this in 1 Corinthians 11. His concern is the role of women in the church, but he lays out a principle here in talking about that that illustrates my point. 1 Corinthians 11. He says in verse 3, but I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. So this even applies to Jesus. He's under the authority of the Father. Every male, every Christian male is under the authority of Christ, and every wife is under the authority of her husband. Now please notice verse 10. Therefore, the women ought to have a symbol of authority on her head because of the angels.

Now that's interesting. He's talking about a woman doing something publicly in the service, and he talked about her having a covering over her head, but the reason he gives is because of the angels. The question is what in the world does a woman having a covering have to do with angels? Everything.

Here's what it is. If this woman in this particular church was reflecting a rebellious heart against her husband or against the male leadership of the church, and so she broke up in the independent speech unauthorized in order to assert her independence as illustrated by the removal, oftentimes the woman wore a headdress and they would take off their covering as a way of refusing to submit to God's ordained authorities, that not only in Paul's mind did she rebel against her husband or the male leadership, she rebelled in the midst of angels because the Bible says when we come to worship, we join angels, Hebrews chapter 12. You say, well, what's the big deal? So I insulted angels.

Let me tell you the big deal. When you insult angels because you show them you are rebelling against authority, then what you can bite on is that God will not supply you, lady, any angelic assistance in dealing with that man that you have to deal with. When a woman rebels against legitimate authority, she rebelled against angelic assistance because angels are one of the primary ways that God comes and he provides help to his children. So in this case, a rebellious woman who in front of the angels rebel because they're in a context of worship, then put themselves in a position where God will not provide angelic assistance to the needs in their lives.

Another thing that will produce a stronghold in chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians is selfishness. He says in verse 3, let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife and let the wife also to her husband. And he says, stop depriving one another except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again.

Let Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control. He says a third thing, selfishness. Now he's talking about the area of sexual intimacy but the point of bringing it up was selfishness. That the husband was so selfish he wouldn't meet the needs of his wife. The wife was so selfish she wouldn't meet the needs of her husband and that went beyond just the physical but the things that lead up to the physical, the relationship that should eventuate in the physical. And he says stop, verse 5, depriving one another except both agree lest it become a vehicle for the devil.

And so when husbands and wives go days and weeks and months without talking, you didn't just go mute on one another. You said, Satan, you are now welcome into my home because the devil is looking for an opportunity. You do not have to open the door for the devil.

Unlock it. He'll open it himself. And he has infiltrated far too many families far too many times. Too many of us want to get a divorce before we've dealt with the spiritual problem. You want to get rid of your mate and you haven't even dealt with your own selfishness.

You want to get rid of your husband when you've not submitted as the church should submit to Christ. Well, my mother raised me like this. Well, if your mother didn't raise you like God said raised you, mama was wrong.

And if your daddy didn't raise you in concert with what God says, daddy was wrong. And we still have too many mothers and fathers in our relationships, either directly or indirectly, thereby because they're on the telephone or because they're still influencing. So either by unresolved anger, by rebellion, or by selfishness, man can create a stronghold in the home. So then what's the cure? The cure for the family stronghold, the cause, is angelic intervention in the family.

The conditions, unresolved anger, rebellion, selfishness, all the vehicles to which he comes in. What is the cure? And I know what some of you are saying, because I hear it all the time. I'm trying. I tried. The man says, I tried. The woman says, I tried. The parents say, we're trying. The kids say, we're trying.

Everybody's trying. But the question is not, are you trying? The question is, what are you trying? Are you trying spiritual weapons or are you just using a little secular method and sprinkling a little Jesus on top?

What are you trying? Dr. Evans will come back in a moment to continue today's lesson. First, though, don't miss your chance to get a great resource we're recommending as a way to follow up on today's study, Tony's powerful book, Victory in Spiritual Warfare. It'll teach you to use the tools and tactics God has provided to give you triumph over the spiritual challenges in your life, even if you're facing serious oppression in the form of substance abuse, sexual or emotional problems, relational issues, and more. Right now, when you make a contribution to help support Tony's ministry, we'll say thanks by sending you a copy of Victory in Spiritual Warfare or Prayers for Victory in Spiritual Warfare, your choice, along with full-length copies of all 12 messages in Tony's current two-volume audio series on the subject.

Together, they're a great way to dig deeper into what we've been learning, to pass these principles along to people you care about, and hear all the additional content we don't have time to bring you on the air. This is a special offer that will only be around for a few more days, so visit tonyevans.org right away, or call our resource request line at 1-800-800-3222 to make the arrangements. That's 1-800-800-3222.

We'll go back to more of our message right after this. But hurry, spots are filling up fast. Register today and ensure you get the room of your choice at tonyevans.org. That's fitting to the Lord. Or put it another way, honor your husband's headship. Honor your husband's headship. You don't even have to like him to do this.

Say, well, I don't like my husband. You don't have to. A lot of you don't like your bosses, but you honor their position. This has to do with recognizing his divinely ordered position. It doesn't mean agree with everything he does or agree with everything he says. It means to honor him like Sarah, who called Abraham Lord. You say, what's the big deal?

It's a big deal to honor his position, even though you may not like his person, even though you may disagree with his point. The Bible says Sarah called Abraham Lord, and what did Sarah get? I'll tell you what Sarah got. She got a miracle. That's what she got.

Ladies 90 years old, been wanting a baby for 90 years. She calls Abraham Lord, and she got a miracle. God miraculously intervened in her life, and she got a miracle. If you want God to change your man, then you must honor his position, even if you don't like his person. Am I right, man? I figure I had to let y'all get that out, because I'm here too much, huh, huh, too much, huh, huh, back there. And that's what 1 Peter 3 says.

It says, when a woman operates this way, it is precious in the sight of God. And some of you women need to apologize for your rebellious attitudes toward your husbands, toward their position, because a man is head of the home by position. It's a post. Even if he's doing a bad job, when a president is a bad president, he still is the president. He still is the president. And you must say, Mr. President, you may not like him, you may not vote for him next time, but as long as he's in office, he's the president, or the mayor, or the governor. It is his post. And that's why even Michael doesn't bring a railing judgment against the devil. You think Michael likes the devil?

No, but he knows his position. Secondly, husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. Some of us men have attitudes. Men, love your wives.

How do you know if you're loving your wife? Simple. Simple. What are you sacrificing for her?

Because we're the loving like Christ loved the church, that has to do with sacrifice. Well, let me put it another way. Make sure at the end of the day, you've made more deposits than withdrawals into her life.

At the end of the day, when you look at the balance sheet, you have put more into her account than it's taken out. We men, all of us, have the propensity. We come home, we work hard. We want to know, was she cooked?

No. And how come it's not done yet? We want to know this and that, and she's got to meet this need and that need. And she is constantly having to make withdrawals and her account is empty. If you only make withdrawals out of your wife, don't be upset if there's nothing in the bank at night.

Let me leave that alone and go right on. We are to make more deposits than withdrawals. And the question that all of us, I forget it, most men forget it, the question that we've got to ask when we wake up is, what can I deposit in my mate's account today? And you will find out if you make regular deposits, the account will grow with interest.

But if you make regular withdrawals, the account will come empty. Children, obey your parents. Honoring your parents is a mighty thing because it is the first commandment with promise. And the best thing a child can do is honor their parents.

If you live in their home eating their food, sleeping in their bed, it's like one time my daughter growing up, I just remembered this the other day. Ticked me off when I remembered it too. You know, she had this attitude. She had a bad attitude one day. And she didn't like some instruction.

I don't remember the specifics. And so she wanted to stop to her room. Where you going, Crystal? I'm going to my room. No.

No. You go into my room that I let you sleep in. As long as you eating their food, sleeping in their room, in the house where they pay their note, obey their rules.

All right? And even when you move out, honor them. Honor them.

And then parents, verse 21, do not exasperate your children that they may not lose heart. Encourage your children. Don't discourage them. Don't tell them they're nothing and never going to be anything. Tell them what their possibilities are under God.

Correct them when they're wrong, but tell them what their potential is under God. When we do those simple things, as hard as it may be to do, we can make people thirsty for the marriage again. So what we need is not a divorce.

We need a marriage tune-up. We brought our little granddaughter a doll the other day. We brought her a doll. She said, Daddy, the doll is not working. The doll won't work. Well, there was a reason why it wasn't working. It needed batteries. And no matter how much you try to fix your marriage, unless the batteries of God's power are operating in your life, you won't fly.

You won't fly. So how do we get going? Well, the M.I. 414 says, fight for your family. Fight. Some of us haven't gone to war. We've tried, but we haven't fought using God's weapons. And I guarantee you, if you will fight using God's weapons, He can save a home that you don't believe is salvageable. Dr. Tony Evans, with some practical principles that can get your family out of Satan's grip.

Now, if you want to learn more about God's power, it's called tearing down family strongholds. And it's just one part of Tony's series on spiritual warfare. A collection that will teach you how to use God's power, instead of your own, to fight back against the devil's efforts to destroy your life. We're offering this two-volume audio collection as our gift when you make a donation to the ministry. Along with it, we'll send you your choice of either of Tony's family strongholds.

Or prayers for victory in spiritual warfare. As soon as we receive your contribution, you'll be able to download all 12 messages in their entirety, so you can begin your deeper, personal exploration of this important subject right away. This special offer ends on Monday, so be sure to contact us before time runs out.

All that he has to offer is a special gift for you. If you want to learn more about God's power, visit our website at www.tonyevans.org or call our resource request line at 1-800-800-3222 for some in-person help. Again, that's 1-800-800-3222 or online at www.tonyevans.org. God can do amazing things through the church, but only when it's healthy. Tomorrow, Dr. Evans points out how some churches can actually do more harm than good, and discusses how your church can avoid that fate. I hope you'll join us. The Alternative with Dr. Tony Evans is brought to you by The Urban Alternative and is made possible by the generous contributions of listeners like you.