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Evans Family Conversation about Grief, Part 2

The Urban Alternative / Tony Evans, PhD
The Truth Network Radio
November 10, 2021 7:00 am

Evans Family Conversation about Grief, Part 2

The Urban Alternative / Tony Evans, PhD

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November 10, 2021 7:00 am

People going through grief will tell you there’s no way to understand what it feels like if you haven’t experienced it yourself. But Dr. Tony Evans and his four adult children are here to share their very personal perspectives on losing eight family members within two years including Tony’s wife, Lois. How do you hold onto hope when it feels like the pain is about to swallow you whole? Find out when you join Dr. Evans in this lesson.

Focus on the Family
Jim Daly
Crossroads Connection
Pastor Andy George
The Urban Alternative
Tony Evans, PhD
The Urban Alternative
Tony Evans, PhD
The Urban Alternative
Tony Evans, PhD
The Urban Alternative
Tony Evans, PhD

All you see is is Dr. Tony Evans says it's important to embrace and eternal perspective on my Solomon says just because this is celebrating years of faithfulness. This is the alternative. Dr. Tony ever authored speaker, senior pastor of Oakland Bible Fellowship in Dallas Texas and president of the urban alternative. It's been said, we are all only one breath away from eternity which is not something many of us spend much time thinking about until we been confronted with the losses of either someone near and dear to us or someone who passes suddenly and unexpectedly, in the case of the Evans family experience both not too long ago when winter pits, a wife, young mother of four and a close family member suddenly passed away. Dr. Evans and his four adult children Crystal Evans hurst Priscilla Scheier Anthony Evans and Jonathan Evans gathered with her church family for a time of reflection and perspective the day following the loss of winter today will hear the second part of their conversation. Let's begin with a short recap from Priscilla. It's interesting for so many members of our church and wanted to just let our dad and pastor sort of speak into this issue personally, but without great opportunity when we face unexpected loss, tragedy, difficulty in our lives what that looks like and how we reconcile that with the goodness of God. So some of you may or may not be aware at this point that Harry suddenly very tragically. We lost well one of me Crystal's best friends and our cousin.

My father's niece. Her name is winter pits. I wanted to come to church tonight though because what a great opportunity to talk about when you are in a place of unexpected tragedy and loss and difficulty. A couple of weeks ago friend of mine died on the table. He was dead as the family was sorrowing.

He twitched to make a long story short he's now walking around after having been pronounced so you can imagine the celebration because I would like a Lazarus moment when I walked in winter from John gone I set down in the chair and I said do it again. Lord, do it again. He didn't.

But the reason I could ask him that is because of what happened here. So what we gotta remind ourselves of all the times when he has come through so that we can walk in faith when he does not come through. I don't like it you don't like it, but you have to believe that God knows what he's doing when he's not doing what we wanted to do when we want to do it. That's all I can do, but I've got enough history to know we can do because I have his criminal what he can do. I know what he might do, whether or not does the frustrating thing for me is he won't let me into that space. He when it comes to timing and all of those things.

He owns it and he will let me in that space. So as a relates to were experiencing, I am not going to be allowed to wrap my mind around edges have to be stuck like this. And of course pits and the doctors and all income stuff like you said, minimum occurs, but you're saying is your counseling me that you just have to be okay with trusting and believing in faith because some things God owns and he's not letting you is you just can't come in there that's what's frustrating about death is that were not allowed and we don't get to see all the wise it's just pure trust and faith which leads strong people to stay and some people who you know. Either her on the friends or don't believe to leave because of that question of why and him just owning stuff and you just have to just be there just sit there.

I tell my kids that sometimes can't understand. You know, just sit one thing that gives me hope is the fact that you know I'm a Christian. I know winter saying she love the Lord so I know where she is. Jonathan pits came out, tucked his daughters and said she's with Jesus and Jesus is gutter that's better than anything that we can ask for. So before we just move onto the next thing I just wonder if you you you answer the question but could you just speak to, particularly mothers who might be in the room either through abortion or miscarriage or you know a very youngest child death very young and I think in torture you. You know, as a woman, could you just speak to women who may be here and that is their main concern and issue.

Maybe get some freedom from that tonight. We know that abortion is a big issue today.

The Bible is clear that there is life so to attack the life in the womb is to attack what the Bible calls the image of God. Psalm Psalm one Psalm 139 talks about the life that was in the God stitching the life the person talks about John the Baptist mother Elizabeth when she ran into Mary was pregnant with Jesus and how the baby leapt in the mother's womb. The baby leapt not in the baby leapt in the mother's womb. Being that close contact with Jesus else about his life. So when you abort you taking a life you miscarriage is not taking a life like is lost since it is life that that child immediately goes into eternity because of his life even though you don't know if you have aborted what that's a sin you taken a life, but is not an unpardonable sin and you go to God.

Jesus even says know if you wish somebody was being accused of murder, so, so you can you can kill a lot of different ways.

It was long, simple, and what I told a couple not too long ago came to me after years still grieving over this abortion that they agreed to have that he paid for.

We dealt with it spiritually repented of the sin asset is what I want to do what you go in the sanctuary want you to sit down and I want you to give your baby a name I sent you.

What was male or female, so give it a name that could be male or female. I could go either way you baby and me.

Thank the Lord for receiving your child into his hands, and for giving you now move forward. As he told the woman to go and sin no more.

So you don't have to be in bondage to that sin. Once you have the dress that sin.

And once you move forward.

Now in righteousness. This is goes back to the beginning a little bit didn't necessarily know the way my dad agrees his discrete processes just to keep working at it and realize that mine is not that I didn't get that part of my siblings.

My dad nothing. I am so is not in this family. I would've been gone a long time ago is this kind of stuff throws me way off when you're a person like me where you lose your cousin Hugo hold her daughters and you're full of rage because you cannot believe that this is what is happening like you were explaining evil earlier I nothing evil happened to her heart stopped because I feel I got allow that to happen when you're somebody who processes like me doesn't go to hope real quick, you're mad.

Why do you navigate that when when you're not. I don't go to go to. Hope quick. I'm just mad and you know what I just wonder because Anthony is willing to be honest like that. I just wonder how many people are in the room and you're in a plaster of anger right now about something that's been allowed in your life to happen that look at all the hands that they're going up so how do we wrestle with two times already and one said angry, angry, first of all, God allows God allows you think you can kill your angry at God, okay God allows you allows frustration three chapters of the book of the Becca is a frustrated, angry man.

How could you allow. So first of all, we respectfully but it's okay to feel the pain of God.

Disappointed okay because he did disappointed with God and God already knows how you feel so high it so the first thing I would say is the first thing you do with that anger is you take it and use it. I don't understand what did I do Wednesday why you did it. It's not fair. I am hurting. She loved you look at these four girls I don't get it. It's one. Secondly, you gotta have the right theology of death.

If you don't get is only a negative when in God's economy.

It's not only make God's economy makes an astounding state. He says blessed is the Lord with the death of his that is. She is excited to have winter with that were not because of what is lost, but he's excited with what you will see that all you see is the bad part of that is best for us.

The other thing is that you combined with that is not what Paul says in the 123 each to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Immediately she goes this whole body is writing but the soul is very much alive think you do have to have an eternal perspective.

All you see is time so here's a lesson for us working on fuel and Ecclesiastes 7 says it is better to go to a funeral that a party because only had a funeral do you take likes to party with all the good times you don't think about this at a funeral. You have to think about. We have to think about it we have to talk about this in front of me says it's better that I go to party. Why, because then you put life in its proper perspective 70 years, Solomon says you don't by reason of strength you may make up 80 years old. So what is teach us to number our days make every day counts because this is this is this is an introduction to life. This is not life, can you get some good times in the introduction you get some bad times. In introduction what is only an introduction. Keep that in mind while expressing up on the dot. We keep the right perspective in our pain. Teachers will hear more on the importance of keeping a proper perspective times of loss and sorrow. When we return to the Evans family conversation just a moment but first I wanted to let you know about a book they've authored addressing many of the same questions and struggles they are dealing with in today's discussion. We've all been through difficult seasons and times in life when it seems like the hits keep coming you can barely catch her breath. Dr. Evans and his immediate family know what this is like in their collaborative book divine disruption. He and his children pull back the curtain on the recent faith shaking experiences to provide biblical wisdom and practical encouragement on how to deal with the hard unexpected things we all face sooner or later there honest observations and insights can help provide answers, you may find yourself searching for today or sometime in the future would like to send you a copy of divine disruption. Today is our gift.

Thanks for your donation to help continue the work of this ministry and as an added bonus will even include all seven full-length messages from Tony's current series living with loss. This insightful collection of audio messages will minister to your heart during a time of personal loss can help you find the best path forward. This is the final day.

These resources will be featured in package together so make sure to get in touch with us right away to make the arrangements will get the book and audio messages on CD or digital download into your hands right away online, go to Tony Avenue and start or or give us a call 24 seven at 1-800-800-3222, I'll repeat that information for you after part two of today's conversation and this what would be like to see the very places where Jesus walked to follow in his footsteps along the dusty roads of Israel with Dr. Evans brand-new Phil journey with Jesus. You can find out this feature-length film takes you to the heart of the holy land from Bethlehem to from the Sea of Galilee, to the busy streets of Jerusalem. You'll see the life of Jesus in a fresh way to hear Dr. Evans and family teach from the very places where Jesus lived minister died and rose again journey with Jesus is set to release this to learn more and find where you will be showing your you.

This limited engagement of journey with Jesus is in select theaters for only a few days next week, so be sure to visit Tony Avenue and right away to reserve your tickets right now. Let's get back to our conversation about grief. As Jonathan poses this personal question to his father, Dr. Evans. I think maybe sometimes watching you is, like I don't have enough faith because it's basically your view, your theology, your belief, your understanding, your knowledge and your wisdom. Just knowing that and then you're able to continue to function at a high level should people who maybe have different personalities see it. Not that I don't have faith just have a different personality. I think that I think it's maybe two people with different emotions react differently to different personalities so they can respond at different levels to different things. What Anthony was saying how he didn't like me because he sees different sensitive combo driven itself is going to do it differently, so that's what. But remember, faith is because a lot of times with defining faith is feeling okay but that's not that's a feeling, and you can have that you can have faith without the accompanying feeling your faith is demonstrated in your movement. So guess what Jonathan Pitts was crying while he was praise, so he had faith (even though a disappointment of circumstances, so most people have more faith than they think they have emotions cloud whether it's faith or not. So don't mix the two because sometimes the two together and sometimes they're not. Sometimes you have to trust God in the dark is pitch back and you have to do like Paul and Silas, and you got to pray for me at midnight with you and James. You know, so one way to exercise faith is to praise in the midst of you. Glad you're my dad. We're pretty good so that Crystal kind of touched on a little bit, but it's on the page. I want to get to it.

Just talk about why the word of faith movement is a little bit dangerous. Just because again trying to reconcile and balance believing God for the miraculous but also trusting his sovereignty. So just how do we balance that how would you encourage those who you're shepherding the balance of radical outrageous faith in God to do big things but also you know bellowing that out with the reality of God's sovereignty. Unfortunately, many all, but many of the word of faith movement uses the concept of faith to manipulate God.

Okay, God cannot be manipulated heat. He does call us to believe he told us to grow in our faith. So we ought to exercise faith and I'll put it this way in a sovereign God, so you're not exercising faith in a God control exercising faith in a God who makes the final decision but in exercising faith by our action. What we do is we invite God to do what he has will to do because everything God wills to do.

He doesn't automatically do. He does it when he sees our faith. So, in God's sovereignty, something he does because he decided on this conduit things he does. When we trust him to do it. You say, but I don't know which is which, which is why you express faith in prayer and everything so you don't miss out on the ones he plans to do not been encouraged by her personal account, pray for dad.

Like I said a moment ago but working to pray there's anybody in the room to pray for you.

First, if you're in the midst of a personal tragedy of your own.

Whether it's death, loss, or it's just in a tragic accident or something that's really taking your faith arrive and honestly just need the ability you need the Lord to offer you an extra measure of comfort during this time and in just a covering in your life right now because of something like this. Would you stand up that you can ask at a prayer for you tonight.

I just build up your faith and encourage you and him give you peace that passes understanding what we stand with you as a church stand up affects you okay and pray for you and then after that were gonna all stand up that's okay and surround dad in prayer for those was standing because they're hurting because the disappointment because they're angry because they're afraid the lifter of the you set a bruised reed, you would not break they already bruise. That's why the standing they don't want to break throughout the Bible. You say that you do things like you come out of nowhere. You just demonstrate you greater glory, we have chosen to trust you.

Even though logically we do not understand. We, on behalf of our brothers and sisters in the name of the risen Lord Jesus Christ and we ask that you will intervene in every situation as though it was the only situation that you will treat them special individually and what ever the category of leaders and may you demonstrate your greater glory in their lives and give them a fresh reason to pray in Jesus name God.

We are grateful for your presence. We are grateful for you.

We are grateful for your faithfulness in our lives right now we come to you asking you when you pour out your spirit on our dad, our mom continue to strengthen them as they carry. In some cases weights that we don't understand and we never will. I pray God that you would give them supernatural peace right now. I know that a loss is a loss, no matter how you how you deal with or how it shows it's a loss got pray that you will allow my father and my mother the opportunity to to grieve and appropriate ways. They're not holding things inside as they continue to work hard. I pray God that you would put in them again. A focus of what exactly you would want them to be doing right now so there's not extra energy going a bunch of different directions. You are faithful God who has intentions even when our hearts are broken, and please show us that intention. We are grateful for you tonight and what you're going to do purify all of our hearts in this room take us out here with the peace in our hearts with all these different situations that are represented here. We again are grateful for you in your name we pray. Amen Anthony Evans Junior wrapping up the final message in our special seven part series on living with loss. Well, if the conversation you been hearing today has struck a chord in you like to remind you of the special package we put together to provide you with insight and encouragement during times of life's biggest struggles.

It begins with all seven full-length audio messages from the living with loss series, including material we didn't have time to present on the air. We also added the Evans families brand-new collaborative book divine disruption holding onto faith when life breaks your heart. Together these heartfelt resources can help sustain your emotional well-being and help heal the pain of personal loss. If you contact us today.

We can send a special living with loss package to you as a way of saying thanks when you reach out and make a contribution to help continue Tony's ministry here and around the world.

Just visit Tony to make your donation and request a special package if it's easier for you. You can call us at one 800 832, 22, and one of our friendly team members will assist with your resource request. Again, that's 1-800-800-3222 or online it Tony have and start or what tomorrow.

Dr. Evans will begin a series of messages on the power of Jesus name.

The Bible uses several of each of them tells us something significant. I hope you'll join us. The alternative with Dr. Tony have celebrating 40 years of faithfulness, thanks to the generous contribution

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