Satan can show up real quick. and he likes to start on the honeymoon. Dr. Tony Evans says the problems with your marriage may go deeper than you think. If you don't deal with the spiritual, you're dealing with the fruit and not the roots.
This is the alternative broadcast, featuring the timeless biblical teachings from the archives of Dr. Tony Evans. Marriage is a divine tool God uses to fulfill some of our deepest needs. But Dr. Evans says there's more to it than that, and he'll explain as he talks today about how fasting can strengthen your connection with God and with your spouse.
Let's join him. It's hard to build a strong marriage. It doesn't take much to tear it down. We're living in a day when Marriages are on the rocks. Most marriages At least half of them end in divorce.
Most of them are not particularly happy. They are tolerated. And it seems to be happening with people younger and younger and younger. Fundamentally. The issue is that people do not understand.
What is happening underneath the obvious? Yes, it's obvious. We have personality differences. It's obvious. That she stays up late and I go to bed early, or vice versa, is obvious.
That we're moving in two different directions. All of that is obvious. And so we spend time on the obvious and never get to. That which is not quite so Obvious. And so what I want to talk to you about today is How to reclaim intimacy in your relationship.
If you're single, These will be principles that you can use with others, but also that you can prepare for use for yourself. The principle is laid out for us in verse 5 of 1 Corinthians 7. Where Paul says, stop depriving one another. He's speaking of sexual relationships. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement.
For a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again sexually, lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Now the context is very important. He's been speaking in the first four verses about sexual intimacy. He said in verse one, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. The Greek word for touch means to light a fire. or to create passion.
If you will. That it is not good for a man to excite a woman, to elicit passion. From a woman. except, he said, in the context of marriage. He says, let each man have his own wife.
Let each wife have her own husband. Then he describes this relationship in a way that we don't have time to get into today. It's more graphic than it may originally appear. But he says, let a man, husband, fulfill his duty to his wife. Let a wife fulfill her duty or responsibility to her husband.
He cites here a fundamental difference between physical intimacy between non-Christians and Christians. For non-Christians, physical intimacy is satisfying one's needs. For a Christian physical intimacy ought to be satisfying the needs of another. He says, stop depriving one another. Robbing one another.
He says, with one exception. What's the exception? He says to give up intimacy. In order to gain spiritual intimacy, to give up the physical in order to gain the spiritual. He introduces to us sexual fasting.
That is, instead of food. In this case, he's talking about giving up physical intimacy. But he's not talking about giving up physical intimacy because you have a headache. He's not talking about giving up physical intimacy because you're tired. He's talking about giving up physical intimacy because there is a need for a greater intimacy.
And that is between the two of you. and God. Please notice, he says, except by agreement. In other words, it takes two. Just like in the physical realm, it takes two, you must both agree, in order for it to be a rich, rewarding experience.
So it is in the spiritual realm, it takes two. In order to make contact with God about the deeper spiritual underlining issues that may be challenging your. Your intimacy.
Now I want to say three things today. That I want you to catch as we go through this. Sermon. Sexual fasting seeks to regain the intimacy created by God when he made marriage and family. Sexual fasting is designed to get at the root of the intimacy problem.
Yes, I know you have different personalities. I know you have different orientations. But the issue is deeper than that. And because many times couples never go deeper than the stuff that they fight about. They keep dealing with the fruit and never get down deep enough to touch the roots.
of what is wrong in the relationship.
So let me give some history here to help us understand why you and your mate, if you're married, are having such major personality conflicts. Why the differences now, two years after you married, seem to be a lot weightier than they showed up before you were married. It seems becoming unbearable. It's not simply that It operates on the obvious realm. God created the first marriage.
He created Adam and Eve. and told them to fulfill his program. But guess who showed up in the garden? Satan showed up. and did what he does well.
He's an agitator. Anybody have any agitators in your life? People just get on your last nerve. He is the invisible agitator. He comes and whispers in Eve's ear.
Girlfriend. You see that tree in the middle? Try it, you'll like it. He gets Eve, watch this now. to disregard God and Adam.
She decides to be independent while married. And what she did was sacrifice the spiritual in order to get the physical. It says in verse 6: when she saw that the tree was good for food, when she saw that it was going to be able to make her wise, she ate of it. That is, she acted in rebellion.
Now Adam joined her. But Adam's rebellion was indirect, although he's held responsible. Satan agitated Eve. But Eve got Adam to join her. Adam, instead of being God's leader, telling her she was wrong that was against god he became the passive follower the passive male And as a result of this.
Their beautiful marriage. Within trouble. And they hadn't been married that long. Satan can show up real quick. And he likes to start on the honeymoon.
Adam does not understand the repercussions of his decision. They both rebel against God. And the Bible says God came looking for them, but they hid themselves from God and covered themselves with leaves. Conflict develops between the two of them. The man blames the woman, the woman blames the serpent.
God then comes and says, Because you have done this, he says in chapter 3, verse 16 of Genesis. your desire shall be for your husband and your husband shall rule over you He announces a curse. Toward the institution of marriage, you and I call it today the battle of the sexes. where you fight for control. Where you want more, you want more sensitivity from him, and he wants more domination over you, and you want rebellion against him.
And he says, No woman is going to tell me what to do, and you say, I don't have to be treated like this. And its ultimate, expansive application is brutality, where a man tries to rule over his wife by brute force, or where a woman seeks to dominate her husband and become a dominating woman that overrules the position of her husband.
Now, why did all that stuff happen? Here's my point. All that stuff happened because of satanic instigation.
Now, why is that important? Because if you're fighting each other, you still haven't gotten to the root of your problem. If you're still fighting over personalities and why God Satan uses personalities, if that's the core of your battle, that means you aren't fighting the right war yet. You're fighting a symptom and calling it a problem. You're coming into a counseling session and simply saying, he mistreats me without understanding that the agitator is in the room.
Or to put it another way, if you don't deal with the spiritual, You're dealing with the fruit and not the root. Because that's what Satan does. And he not only starts stuff, he keeps it going. He brings stuff up to remind you of the stuff that you said you have forgotten. And if you miss him.
Then you're missing the agitator. You're missing the spiritual initiator.
Now, that doesn't exonerate you from the things you're doing wrong. It does say simply to address that is not to address the root, thus, sexual fasting. Sexual fasting exists to get to the spiritual agitation that is producing the physical confrontation. Sexual fasting is designed to address the underlining causes in the spiritual realm that is producing the conflict. In the physical realm.
Because remember, everything physical. is because of something spiritual.
So to address the physical, you must address the spiritual that's bringing about the physical. And most people do not address the spiritual, so they cannot control the physical.
So it is to regain intimacy. doctor Evans will tell us more about the concept of sexual fasting when he returns in a moment. First, though, today's lesson comes from Tony's informative series on fasting. Biblical fasting involves a spiritual focus. And Dr.
Evans examines how that focus draws us closer to God. as we seek His forgiveness, guidance, and protection. You can receive this series for yourself on digital download as well as either on a USB flash drive or CD album. The entire collection includes 14 full-length messages with extra material we won't have time to present on the broadcast. We'll send them all to you as our thank you gift.
when you make a financial contribution to support this ministry. And as an added way of saying thanks, we'll also include our Hope for the Hurting leader kit. Perfect for both leading a small group and for your own personal growth. In this Bible study, Dr. Evans offers spiritual principles for facing life's toughest pains and hurts.
The leader kit not only includes a copy of the Hope for the Hurting book, but also a study guide, printed content for six study sessions. Access to teaching videos and session previews from Dr. Evans and more. Visit tonyevans.org for details on this special offer. Or call us at 1-800-800-3222.
where our resource team members will be happy to assist with your request. Again, that's tonyevans.org. or by phone, any time of the day or night, at 1-800-800-3222. We'll hear more from Dr. Evans right after this.
My father was 90 when he passed, and I had to walk with him through that aging process, having trouble walking, using a walker, that whole process. The Unbound podcast, hosted by Dr. Tony Evans, explores deep topics to help you feel more centered in your faith. And a lot of children are dealing with aging parents.
So the question becomes: how do we walk with them? Find guidance for difficult times. Listen to the Unbound podcast. You can find the Unbound podcast on any of the major podcast platforms.
Well, let's get back to doctor Evans now for the second part of today's message. Let's go to point two. The process of sexual fasting. When a couple is physically intimate with one another, What they do is explore the mysteries of another person. What God had in mind was using the physical to explore.
The inner dimensions Of the emotional and ultimately the spiritual. The process of sexual fasting is. To enter into a trade. to sacrifice the physical. For the spiritual.
so that you get God into digging beneath the obvious. To get to that which is not obvious, to deal with the root of the problem. And this is actually done even. In athletics. Most NFL football teams sequester their players Saturday nights.
Now they have two reasons for this. One reason is so they can have them all together in a unified place, and that's when they have their team meetings and talk about the team. Team that they're going to play, but there's a second reason. to keep them away from their wives. They sequester the football players to keep them away from their wives if they're married, from women if they're single.
Because they understand. That if there is physical activity the night before the game. It could produce a draining physically. And of focus. And they so much want the concentration to be totally on the game.
That they sequester them, they put them away. From females. Because it's so deep, it's so serious, the game is. That they want absolutely no distraction because the game is of highest importance. It's a sexual fact.
God did the same thing. In Exodus chapter 19, God says, I'm coming down to the mountain. When I come down to the mountain, I'm going to reveal myself at a level that the people have never, ever, ever seen before. And in Exodus 19, verses 9 through verses 15, God says, tell the men not to go near a woman. Not to go near a woman because.
I am coming down, and when I come down, all of their energy will be needed to receive me. I will be operating at a much deeper level. He told them in Joel chapter 2 the same thing. I am going to visit you. Tell the husband to come out of his bedroom.
Tell the bride to leave her. Bridal chamber. For God is about to visit. In fasting. You are asking God to visit you at a deeper level.
Now Why? This is a question that one of the members asked me. Why fasting? Why did God choose this? as his method of hooking up to him in serious situations.
Now you fast because something serious is on the table. You pray as a way of life, but fasting is connected when something difficult is on the table. God finds great joy not only in what he knows, and he knows everything. God knows everything intuitively. He has raw knowledge of everything that was, is, and ever will be.
He is the all-knowing God, but he does not know everything experientially. God has not experienced everything, he's a spirit. That's why he had to become a man to experience life on earth. As a spirit being, he hasn't experienced everything, although he knows everything.
So let me tell you what gets God height. What gets God excited? God gets excited when what he knows also becomes what is. For example. God knew that the world would come into existence.
But only when he said, let there be light, did he also say, it is good. It was when he entered into the experience of bringing it to pass. That brought him into the joy of it, even though he already possessed the knowing of it. Let me give you another example. God told Abraham to kill his son, his only son, which was the son of the covenant.
In other words, God said, I'm going to make of you, Abraham, a great nation, and I'm going to do it through your baby boy, Isaac. He tells Abraham to kill his son. Why would you tell Abraham to kill the son if the son was going to be the way to keep the covenant going? The boy isn't married yet. There are no other kids.
So if you kill Isaac, the covenant is dead. How could God tell Abraham to kill Isaac? In light of the promise to make of Abraham a great nation. Through Isaac. Abraham said, I don't understand it, but I'm gonna do exactly what you said.
He took Isaac up, raised up his knife, God took his wrist, and this is what God says.
Now I know that you fear me. But God, you know everything. What do you mean?
Now I know.
Well, I knew everything intuitively before you did this. But now I enter into the experience of joy in seeing you do it.
So God gets an experience. He gets a high, if you will. Out of the experience of seeing us, now watch this now, watch this now. Choose the giver over The gift. He gets excited when he sees it.
Not just when he knows it. When he sees Abraham take up Isaac and he enters into the experience of it happening, he gets high in knowing that we value the giver more than the gift.
Now what has God given us? Food. But he says when you fast you give up food to spend time with God and I get high. Knowing that you consider being with me more important with being with the stuff I gave you. What did he give marriage?
Sex. But he says, I get hot. When I see you value the giver of sex more than the sex that he gave. It's from the father of lights. But you know what we do?
We spend so much time having fun with the gift. That we forget the giver and we lose out on the mystery of intimacy with God. If you're ready to trade in the broken pieces of your life for the eternal future God has in store for you, Here's Dr. Evans to talk about how that happens. If you've been listening to our broadcast and you have not personally trusted Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins so that he can give you the gift of eternal life right now, I want you to go to God and transfer your trust from any and everything else except the Son of God who died on the cross for your sins and arose from the dead.
In fact, I'm going to say a little prayer and you can repeat it after me. You just have to mean it for yourself. Heavenly Father, I know I'm a sinner, but I am and that I can't save myself. I believe Jesus Christ, your Son. Died on the cross.
in my place for my sin and I now am trusting him alone to forgive me. and to give me the gift of eternal life, that he promised to give to any one who came to him for it. Thank you for saving me. and help me from this day forward to live a life Pleasing to you. If you prayed that prayer for the first time, Or if you or someone you know wants to learn more about what the Christian faith is all about, Visit us at tonyevans.org.
and click the link that simply says Jesus. There, Doctor Evans will walk you through everything you need to know to start your brand new life. and he'll return in a moment with a final story to wrap up our time together. Before he does, though, I want to let you know that today's lesson is taken from a powerful sermon series on the subject of biblical fasting. And for a limited time, we're offering the full-length version of all 14 lessons in this series, along with our Hope for the Hurting leader kit.
Perfect for both group study and for your own personal journey in facing life's pains and hurts with the Lord's peace and comfort. Just contact us at tonyevans.org to request this special package before time runs out. Or give us a call day or night at 1-800-800-3222. and let one of our resource team members help you. That's 1-800-800-3222-1.
or online at tonyevans.org. At one point or another, many of us will change our diet. in pursuit of goals like weight loss, cholesterol reduction, or some other physical need. But tomorrow, we'll explore some of the profound benefits our eating habits have on our spiritual health as well. Right now, Dr.
Evans is back with his closing story. Uh the snowstorm and uh This man went out to Due to snow, but every time he tried to Get rid of the snow, it's snow again.
So they go out, try to get rid of the snow, it's snow again. You go out there, it's snow again. He said, it's a waste of my time. I quit. I'm not going out there anymore.
Every time I go to try to fix the snow, it snows again. Anybody like getting your relationship? Every time you try to get rid of the junk, more junk come. Every time you try to make peace more war. Every time you try to be nice, more meaningless.
Every time you try to solve one conflict, more conflict, and you're tired, and you say, I quit, I'm tired of this.
Well the next day the sun came up. Guess what happened? The sun melted the snow. Apart from anything But God did. You see when the sun comes out You can take it easy.
When the sun comes out, you don't have to try so hard. When the sun comes out, it takes care of the problem for you. And guess what? With the S O in when the sun comes out Because you fast and pray and throw your relationship at the altar, he melts the madness, melts the pain, melts the personality conflicts that you've been digging with all day, all year, all decade long. I believe somebody in here needs the sun to come out.
You've been digging and it's going nowhere.
