The Dignified Wife #1

Welcome to The Truth Pulpit with Don Green, Founding Pastor of Truth Community Church in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Hello, I'm Bill Wright. Thanks for joining us as we continue teaching God's people God's Word. Don begins a new message today, so without further delay, let's join him right now in The Truth Pulpit. The title of today's message is, The Dignified Wife. The dignified wife, taken from Ephesians 5, 22 to 24.

And let me just say a word about that title in the event that you have not heard the prior two messages which we preached in order to set the stage for that. As I've said, it almost seems like a gratuitous statement to make, wives come from the realm of women. Wives come from the realm of women.

And the nature of a wife is determined in large part about what you think about the nature of a woman. And what we have shown over the past couple of messages is that the Bible assigns a very noble and a very dignified position to women. As we saw, the women are created equally in the image of God, just like a man is. In the realm of salvation, women share equally in all of the benefits of salvation. There is no distinction between the blessings of being in Christ that belong to a man, all belong equally to a woman. Women are precious in the sight and in the order of God, and he has assigned a unique dignity to them. One of the ways that we measured that was to see how Jesus Christ treated women during his earthly ministry.

And what did we find? We found that he taught them, he healed them of physical affliction, he forgave their sins. In a culture that was not at all treat women as equals with men, Christ poured out his life, poured out his teaching, poured out his grace on women that came around him. And so through the eyes of Christ, we see the high value of women. And then last time we saw how women responded to Christ, that in the birth of Christ in Mary and the prophetess Anna, there were believing women that surrounded his birth. During the earthly ministry of Christ, women supported him, women followed him, women learned from him. And in the events that are central to the gospel of Jesus Christ, the death, the burial, and the resurrection of our Lord, women are found faithfully manning the station, if I can put it that way, faithfully manning the station with Christ at the cross, at the tomb when Christ was buried, and it was a woman to whom the resurrection was first made known. And so all of these things make us see women with a high degree of, the highest degree of dignity.

And here's why that is so important, beloved. We should never, any more, having heard the things that we've heard over the past two weeks, men and women alike should never look at women the same again. We should never look at a woman, let alone our wives, in any way that somehow separates them from the Lord Jesus Christ, who made them and assigned them to such a high place of dignity. That means that young men cannot engage their fantasies any longer, because you cannot put Christ alongside those images over the internet and maintain any kind, any semblance of credibility or of righteousness. It means that as husbands or prospective husbands, when we look at our future wives or look at the wife that the Lord has given us, we should never look at them apart from the great dignity that Christ has given to them. And as ladies, as we're going to see in our text today, so very clearly, actually, you should never think about your role in marriage apart from the dignified position that Christ has given to you. Everything that we think about women, about marriage, and about the role of wife is wrapped around the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ, and that's what we should never think about the Lord Jesus Christ and the exercise of His will and the revelation of His will that we find in Scripture.

That means that we reject, we consciously reject the mindset of the world. We reject the ideas of feminism, that women should be just like men and should pursue everything that men pursue. We reject that as being the goal and aspiration of women.

The goal and aspiration of women is not what the world sets for us, not the vanity that it sets us toward and points us toward. The highest expression of dignity that a woman could ever express would be to be as conformed to the image and the will of her Lord and Savior as possible, as much as the Spirit helps in that direction. That's where dignity is found. Dignity is found in close identity with the Lord Jesus Christ, and it is derived directly from Him.

It is not derivative of your husband. If your husband treats you poorly, it is not a bad reflection on your dignity because your identity and your dignity and your worth come from Christ Himself, who made you in the image of God, who had a formative hand in your mother's womb, who made you a woman from the beginning, and who now is working in your life to complete the work in order to bring you to His eternal glory. And so we look at women through the lens of Christ and through the lens of Scripture as we do today. The image of God and the life of Christ reveal a woman's dignity, and one last thing by way of review before we get into the message for today. And we deal with the question of what does godliness in a woman look like. Well, it's really no different from godliness in a man.

Maybe the application is a bit different. But godliness is found in the manifestation of the character traits expressed in the Beatitudes in Matthew chapter 5. Godliness is found in the fruit of the Holy Spirit, love, joy, peace.

Peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. As we saw last time as we looked at the women at the birth of Christ and the life of Christ and in the events of the Gospel, we saw three things that I just want to remind you of. We saw these women all exercising humble faith in the promise of God. We saw them all with a teachable spirit under the Word of God.

We saw them giving careful attention to the events of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That's what makes, that's the mark of a godly woman. And we distinguished it, we distinguished it from those who would simply make a horizontal connection between godliness and the care that they give to their families. Well, there are a lot of dear mothers who care for their families but aren't godly, don't even profess to be Christians, and so it can't simply be that we find the dignity of a woman in what she does with respect to her husband or especially to her children.

There is more to it. There is this inner spiritual life that marks true godliness. And to focus on the externals of family and household things to the exclusion of humble faith of a teachable spirit of careful attention to the Gospel is to miss the whole point. It's to hold to the shell without the reality that the shell is supposed to contain. And so it's with that spirit that we come to Ephesians chapter 5 verses 22 through 24 for our text this morning.

Look at it there with me. As we read, actually we're going to start in verse 21 because it is a crucial part of the overall context. Paul tells the church as a whole to be submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

And then he goes directly to the wise. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Beloved, what you need to see as we look at this passage in its overall context, in the first three chapters of Ephesians, Paul had been praising God for the glories of salvation. He elected us in Christ. He redeemed us in Christ. He sealed us with the Spirit. And he shows us that that was a deliverance from the being dead in sin, dominated by the devil, and doomed to suffer the wrath of God.

God graciously, ladies, those of you that are in Christ, God graciously delivered you from that spiritual bondage and into a life that he has planned out for you. And so what we see in Ephesians four through six is the life that we are to live as Christians in response to the gracious work of salvation that God has given to us. And so there is a context to all of this.

There is the dignity of the woman. There is the context of Ephesians five. There is the context of salvation. Note, please, that we did not just simply go right to Ephesians five and start saying women have to submit to their husbands.

We set a context for this to be received. And in the more near context, notice in a chapter five, verse 18, the Paul says, Don't get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. The instruction on marriage flows out of that teaching about the Spirit-filled life. You cannot separate the principle of a wife's submission to her husband from the principle of being filled with the Spirit. You cannot separate the principle of a wife submitting to her husband from the whole context of Christian salvation. You cannot separate it from the examples that we see of godly women in Scripture.

You cannot separate it from the Lord Jesus Christ and his death and resurrection on our behalf. Notice, as we're just kind of getting acquainted with the passage here, notice that in five or six different ways in these three verses, Christ, through his word, through the apostolic word, wraps the duty of the wife like strands of DNA woven together around himself. Verse 22, wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church. His body, the Savior, as the church submits to Christ over and over again, this is premised on who Christ is and what Christ has done. Ladies, you just simply cannot reject the principle of submission in marriage and maintain anything that is consistent about Christian salvation.

And so we need to see that. We don't look at women apart from Christ. We don't look at the role of the wife apart from Christ.

He is central to it all. One other thing that I want to show you from the following context is that God has established the principle of submission in the overall moral order that structures biblical worldviews in the way that we approach everything. In the family, wives submit to their husbands. Children, chapter six, verse one, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Chapter six, verse five, slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling.

Masters, verse nine, do the same to them. You can go to Romans 13 and see the principle of submission woven into government and the way that believers respond to the governing authorities. You can go to the institution of the church in Hebrews 13 and see that the principle of submission is woven into the order of the local church as it responds to the elders that God has appointed. And so the thing that we need to see is that God has established the principle of submission in the way that believers respond to the governing authorities. You can go to the institution of the church in Hebrews 13 and see that the principle of submission is woven into the order of the local church. And so the thing that I want you to see is, one, is that if this comes from Christ, it must be for our good, it must be for our blessing. We see that this is not taken out of context but is woven into a comprehensive view of Christian salvation, and we see that the principle of order and submission, God has established that and commanded that throughout multiple areas that govern all of our lives.

And so it's only in response to the influence of the world that the church would ever balk against what God has said in His word here. And so with that background, beloved, when we talk about submission, the submission has the idea of subordination. You arrange your life, your attitudes, your responses under the authority of the one that God has put into that position.

For example, soldiers submit to, they are subordinate to those who have a superior rank in their chain of command. And so it's that idea, broadly in all of the context, that helps us approach this question that frames the remaining time that we have together. How does a woman who has such great dignity assigned to her from God, how does she live within her marriage that God has given to her?

Beloved, this is so vital. What I'm about to say is kind of the thread that joins all of the following four points together. The way that she responds to her husband is consistent with the prior, watch this, the prior vertical submission that she has established before Christ. You come to Christ in salvation with a humble faith that says, oh Lord, I submit to you without reservation. And your word I take as my authority. And we come to the word and we see this as being part of it. And in that submission to Christ, what the Spirit of God produces in the woman who is truly saved and who is filled with the Spirit which is to be filled with the word of God, the Spirit of humble faith, of a teachable Spirit, of careful attention to the truth of God, that marks the life in general, in total, and then it spills over and is expressed in this specific way within marriage.

Now, let me just pause here. Over the years, I've been blessed to have a godly wife, to have godly daughters. I'm grateful for them. I've been grateful, and we are very blessed in this body of believers to have godly women who manifest these characteristics. And so for many here in the audience, I'm simply reinforcing the direction your life is already going. And that's a privilege for me of which I am not worthy. Over the years, also in ministry, there have been women who are not of this spirit.

And let me just say this in the most constructive, positive way that I can, looking forward for your benefit. If you tend to be a woman with strong opinions, if you tend to be a woman who is openly verbal in expressing what you think and having ideas about what others should do with what God has given to them, you need to approach this with humble faith, with a teachable spirit, and with careful attention to the gospel of Christ, because sometimes women want to maintain that combative, confrontational attitude while simultaneously maintaining their testimony as Christians. That's like oil and water. That does not mix.

Those two things do not go together. It's okay to be a verbal and expressive woman, but you just need to have your heart governed by principles like this that we see here in order to be what God has called you to be. A combative, rebellious woman, though she may name Christ with her lips, is not being consistent with what Scripture reveals about the dignity of women and the godliness that God requires in general and in particular with regard to their husbands. So with all of that said, let's look at four principles quickly from this text that I believe will be helpful, will be liberating, will be challenging, hopefully for many of you will be very affirming to you. For you young men, not yet married but longing to be, these are the kinds of traits that you look for in a woman. For those of you ladies that are single and are not yet married as you would like to be, these are the things that you set your heart to aspire after. Some of it just simply comes with submitting to God and trusting God while you wait on Him for what you desire your life to be. He will be faithful to you, but while you wait, you don't wait to develop these characteristics until you get what you want. You develop them now while you're waiting, and then God blesses that as it carries over into marriage.

I'm on your side here today, every one of you, man, woman, boy, and girl alike, I'm on your side. And so it's with that spirit and that context that we turn to the work of the Word now. Point number one, what is the mark of the dignified wife? What does God call a wife to? He calls her to, number one, submission to her husband, submission to her husband, to adopt a posture and a mindset of subordination to the husband that God has given to her. Paul addresses wives as he opens this broad theme of submission. He starts with wives, not with the husbands in this matter, and he says, wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

That's the opening matter, and beloved, there's a couple of immediate things that we need to see. Paul specifies who it is that he's talking to in these three verses. He is talking to wives. He is not telling the husbands what they are free to demand from their wife without regard to their own godliness. In some ways, men, you are to look at this and say, he's speaking to wives, not to me.

I need to be careful about reading someone else's mail. He's not instructing husbands in what they get to demand in their selfish carnality and to rule with a fist saying, woman, you submit to me. He's not talking to you. He's talking to the wives. He'll get to you in verse 25. He's talking to the wives and telling the ladies how they need to think and operate within themselves. Notice something else really important, and it's remarkable how often clear Christian teaching is twisted into things it was never intended to mean. Paul addresses wives, and he tells them to yield to their husbands. He is not telling them to submit to all men generally, absent some other authority relationship. He is not calling a girlfriend to submit to her boyfriend.

That is a complete gross caricature. It is a mischaracterization of it all, and I want to emphasize that simply because I've seen young men and coming under influences of others whose teaching I do not support thinking that they need to dominate their girlfriends, and the girlfriend needs to follow them and submit to them, and that's not what Paul is saying here. This is a principle that is engaged and activated at the time of marriage, but until then the young lady is not in any biblical position of having to submit to her boyfriend. It's important for us to recognize that Paul is establishing limits on the realm of submission. It's not universal, all women to all men.

It's not girlfriend to boyfriend. This sphere of submission of which he speaks is the unique exclusive realm of marriage between one biological man and one biological woman. That's the sphere, and so what Christian wives are to do is to recognize the authority that God has given to their husband and respond to it.

Ladies, I realize that this passage and this series kind of, for some of you, you know, were parachuting into the middle of your life after there's been a lot of, I'm thinking of a battlefield mindset, you know, there's been a lot of combat that's gone before, and here we are, paratroopers, parachuting into the middle of your situation, and I just want to say this to you. For better or for worse, this is the man, this husband that you have, whether he's sitting by you in the room or whether he does not join you in your desire to worship God, this is the man that God has given to you. This is the one that you are to respond to, and in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul addresses Christian wives, says if you have an unbelieving husband and he wants to live with you, you live with him, live with him within the bounds of marriage. And so rather than rebel against that and to resent the circumstances, say this is the man that God has given me.

Maybe you made some bad choices earlier on, and now you're dealing with the consequences of that. Know that there's a special grace that operates in the realm that you find yourself in, but this is God's plan, this is God's will for your life. You don't need to go looking for the will of God in mystical experiences, waiting to hear a voice from God or to read some forsaken book like Jesus Calling and to hear the word of God in your life. God has revealed his will to you as a married woman, and it's found here in Ephesians chapter 5. And so a dignified wife, a Christian wife, embraces submission to her husband as part of the expressed will of God to her, the commanded will of God to her. And so married ladies, whatever submission means, whatever it looks like, and we're going to see more in a moment, this is what God calls you to implement, to embrace in your life. And let me just say this, when you pastor a congregation of our size, there's a lot of different people that you carry in your heart as you walk up these four steps and step into the pulpit.

You're carrying people with you in your heart as you do that. I'm often mindful of the single ladies in our congregation, and I know that it's difficult for you often. Let me just say this, is that in light of this principle of submission, I encourage you, I beg you, I admonish you, I plead with you to be wise and to don't be in a hurry to get married to a man just because you're lonely and you think marriage will make loneliness go away.

The truth of the matter, my dear lady friends, is that marriage can make you much more lonely if you are under the principle of submission to a man who does not love you back. And so just be careful, as a friend of mine used to say, it's better to want something you don't have than to have something you don't want. And so trust the Lord for his wisdom and his providence as you go through these things. When marriage, when you make those vows and you become one, this principle becomes operative and you are responsible to follow that man. Once you marry, you are accountable to this principle of submission to your husband.

And so wisdom just dictates that you be careful as you pursue the thought of marriage. Now secondly, we've seen submission to the husband. Understand that in a greater sense this is submission to the Lord. This is submission to the Lord. The biblical duty of a wife's submission to her husband originates with Christ himself. It is part of the revealed word and will of God. It is separate and independent of whether the man is worthy of that or not.

We'll talk about that in a moment. This is what God says. This is a vertical responsibility given from God to you, coming down, as it were, from heaven to you as a revelation of his will, and it's what God wants from you.

You can almost factor your husband out of it and say, Lord, what would you have me to do? And find here that God, Christ himself, is calling you to this submission. Let's look at it here as we go through the verses again. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

There is a parallel. You submit to Christ. We follow and obey Christ. We call him Lord. We do what he says, and what Paul says is your submission, your relationship to your Lord is like that.

It's in that realm. Verse 23, husband is the head of the wife, even as. Notice the parallel. Christ is the head of the church. Verse 24, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. God is the one who established the husband's authority in the home. It's keeping with the very principle of creation even. He created Adam, and then he took a rib from Adam and created the woman to be a helpmate to him. Adam had the position of headship, and the woman God brought alongside to be alongside to help him. And so this is the order.

This is the plan. This is the structure of God. And so, beloved, God assigns this. God commands this submission to the Christian wife who, let me remind you, is a woman of high dignity, who is a woman of humble faith, is a woman of teachable spirit, is a woman who is committed to the gospel. In the whole context of this, God says as part of what I created you to do, this is what it looks like in marriage. And so there is no way to evade the fact that ultimately obedience to this principle is first and foremost a matter of obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ himself. Christ says, I will have you submit to your husband. And the question that every woman needs to answer for herself is, what will you do in response to what Christ has commanded you to do?

That's the question. Well, my friend, before we go after today's broadcast, I just want to invite you to look me up on Facebook, Don Green on Facebook. I often make original posts. I make comments about ministry and other matters of biblical importance there that do not make their way into this broadcast. And so if you are on Facebook, I invite you to join me. Look for Don Green and join us on Facebook for another way to connect with our ministry. That's Don Green, founding pastor of Truth Community Church in Cincinnati, Ohio. Thank you so much for listening to The Truth Pulpit. Join us next time for more as we continue teaching God's people God's word.