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April 2, 2020 4:11 pm
Fear and Anxiety from COVID-19 is not uncommon! You are not alone with the stress and anxiety this pandemic may bring. Today's Theology Thursday, Tate Cockrell, Assistant Professor of Counseling, walks us through how to deal with these emotions! In short, distract yourself with a puzzle.
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Everyone is noble show where the entity meets everyday issues of life at work and even in politics.
Steve is an ordinary man who believes in an extraordinary God is on his show. There's plenty of grace and no sacred in us as individuals… Couples and a lot more time with our spouses and were used to stay at home, order Reading a pretty much state-by-state around the country.
You got our roles as parents to God. The impact on our children for people that maybe your quarantine self quarantine quarantine because of perhaps you editor you used to have it. Whatever the case may be very up first responders people that are on the front lines of the health industry right now and that's an issue you've got people that are unemployed, we had 3.3 million jobless claims last week we got 6.6 million this week.
That's 10 million jobless claims in two weeks were talking about depression era type numbers here. We haven't seen that type of stuff here in America decades literally half a century, even though you unemployed people your financial stress, which is beginning to affect more more people around the country. I just being stuck at home so he got a lot of issues which can create a lot of anxiety and a lot of fear and isolation and tribulation in trouble and interest in her interpersonal relationships and what's going on at home with parents and spouses. Like I said, to give a lot of different issues to deal with here as were all kind of going down this road together with the coronavirus and its impact on our everyday lives in all kinds of different ways so couple weeks ago on theology. Thursday we got our good friend Danny Aiken, the president of the seminary just unpacked from a biblical perspective of theological perspective. As we talked about fear and anxiety. And today I my good friend Dr. T Cockrell who is one of the professors at Southeastern Baptist theological seminary is associate professor of counseling but has years and years of counseling experience as a Christian counselor were 25,000 hours of counseling experience. So today were to be, on the practical side, the front line side will talking about how do we actually promote counseling perspective, what's the deal with this anxiety, fear of things are going I'm going talk about some practical tips and things that you can do you can do as an individual for us is couples versus families were to travel down a lot of notes today and for those of you on Facebook why we got the Tate is with a suck on it that here in the studio via Skype today. Tate how are you man good to see you fantastic say thank me again, this shows like three hours for you a lot of ground to cover. I wish over three hours believing something want them more time. But this is obviously unique situation to say the least. We haven't really seen anything like this. Your lifetime my lifetime so it's all just kind of first reaction as somebody that's a follower of Jesus Christ for the biblical counselors been in the counseling room for years. How are you kind of approaching this because this is like I said this is unprecedented. You know it's funny you use that word or precedent which I think is a word that we all use and it's the word that I use and how I've had to deal with people as their facing the challenges that go along with the virus right.
The amount of people there calling the clients that I've not talked to.
Maybe in months because they're doing well, but suddenly now because of the pressures of kids are now in all their spouses now working from home.
All of that stuff and all wrapped up in the one has created these unique stressors that you work there a month ago, literally everything in their life is change the last month. Yeah just shocking whatever whatever reversal we've had for and on any number of levels of what you talking little clear talking financially healthwise is all over the map and by the way, today I mean there's a lot of things that Tate and I want to cover.
But if you have a question.
If you want to seek his advice. You just want to put something on the table and get Tate's input. I'd much rather give you the time to do that as well because this is chapters trying to be a blessing to all of us seek a listener to get some matter out of it. But if you have a specific question on Facebook my please put that in there and I will work that into the conversation.
If you want to call me to leave the phone lines open for the whole show. So if you have a question for Dr. T Cockrell from a counseling perspective, anxiety, fear, isolation, dealing with family. Please give us a call today during the show, 866348784 is always at the phone number 866-34-TRUTH eight 784 or 866-34-TRUTH, and so we really have this really affecting on multiple levels.
Whatever talk about individuals as a family. Our children and our marriages Tate so what types of things that this is causing that that were struggling with Dr. will there's a lot of different things to eat. One of the things I think that's happened in the motion I'm saying is you know as married couples rights like I've been married for 27 years and have a great relationship with my wife but we don't spend all day every day on under normal weight. We don't spend all day every day together.
So all of a sudden you're forced into this environment where you want your kids everybody's on the same house at the same time. All of a sudden all the differences that are between you that her God-given right differences in personality and the way we think and know you process emotions and all that.
Suddenly all of those things start getting accentuated right it's you you process information this way you know you do things this way, but I do it that way. Most of the time we don't see that all the time but now all of a sudden we are having all of these opportunities to have these differences accentuated in you know in our life and you where baby my wife she stays almost the time so she she so schedule it looks one way and now all of a sudden everything's having to be done something different because you know I'm working from home and I'm sitting at a computer, not our dining room table and all the differences and difficulties that come up as a result of that can be really challenging for a family and they can love one another well and really want to be around one another and initially they say this to be so much fun like ready to send all this time together in about three days in there like you're going back to what you go back to the office. We unlike how long do we think it's can it be before we can have a little bit of space in a little bit a different limited distance, so those differences are really really really accentuated and and see the other thing I think is fear can be healthy, right. Like if we don't have a have a healthy understanding of the buyer and we just go out and don't do anything different than we normally do.
That's actually bad for us right, but when that fear grows to a place where suddenly we become paralyzed or we gonna live in this delusion of control. Like somehow I can control all these things of about my circumstances. All of a sudden we realize that's not the case anymore. And our anxiety starts to ramp up right now we start worrying about not the things that we should be worried about we start worrying about everything right I can control the virus. So what in my world. You cannot control. Let me worry about every little detail around the house. We worry about every little thing with my kids. We worry about every little thing related to whatever just so I can have some sense of role in my life to get that back down. I was going to ask about that will pick that up on the other side of the breaker coming up to break talking to Dr. T Cockrell associate Prof. counseling a Christian counselor with over 25,000 hours of counseling. And I've some questions come in and on Facebook live if you want to question you want to be part of the show today want some advice on now is the time for you to take advantage you have something I take here on here 86 34 truth six 634 truth we write back. The campus looks beautiful but there's like almost nobody here. Like most schools around the country, if not all, everything's been kinda switched online so normally we would do theology Thursday with Dr. T Cockrell associate Prof. counseling and has over 25,000 hours of counseling experience himself outside of being in the classroom teaching here at the seminary, but were doing it by Skype today. So you see Tate and I on Skype on Facebook live on the radio you just here Mike is on the phone but practicing our social distancing and trying to do what we can to to try to alleviate what's going on with coronavirus, but this is bringing all kinds of things into our lives that we've never dealt with many of us before never been down this road and 10 million jobless claims in the last two weeks of losing your job or putting back your ability to make money is happening to our kids as well. In terms of part-time jobs and all that kind of stuff. So today were focusing on. From a counseling perspective, what, how can we kinda manage anxiety, fear and isolation all the stupid typical things coming in and then great questions come in and on Facebook live networking to talk about in and being let down high school graduations, your senior high school that's that's all done you not to get that college graduation are our senior into state. She's not to get the walk up the big college graduation that's done, she's going to get her diploma mailed to her maybe will do something in December, but all kinds of disappointment and loss. That way that's way so grateful to have Dr. T Cockrell with us today and I'll get to those questions on Facebook live. By the way, and if you want to call and if you have a question for Dr. Cockrell. Please give us a call. Take advantage of this opportunity to tap into the wisdom that God has given Tate so give us a call 866348784 is the phone number 866-34-TRUTH eight 784 or 866-34-TRUTH and we will take your call here on the air in your question is good chance it's gonna be a question that a lot of other people have so by sharing what you're going through. You might very well be helping other people, which is a part of the solution.
By the way, we'll talk about that with tape but I have this big question.
Tate is not, how do we know when it's going quite a problem, fear, anxiety, stress, being worried because is a normal level of that and then it and then it kinda starts to get out of control. So how do we know what's normal and how do we know when we started cutting true troubles. I think when you start seeing fear. That's kind of the coming debilitating like it's preventing you from being able to concentrate and just get, rudimentary tasks done is it, it never goes away like you're just always thinking about it it it it tends to grow in your head. The more you think about it more you think about all the different aspects of an see, start obsess about that.
That's probably becoming problematic uterus. It is, there's nothing wrong with us, you know you you you pull up your 401(k) and see your 401(k)s lost 30%.
I would expect someone to be like yeah you know like I'm saying sorry is that up elaborate and rejoicing.
30% of our retirement stall like that would be healthy.
It would be okay for them to be disappointed. But then if you know were there retiring 20 years from now, but all they can think about all day long years, you get that 30% that we got is 20 years before you retire right like that's just your perspective has gotten off. You're focusing on something that you really have very little control over something. It really doesn't matter today. It's really affecting thinking about something way out there is affecting your ability to do something right here right now so when it starts to intrude on your everyday life and you just can't function normally you want to get out of bed. You don't want to eat or sleep cycles all messed up. You know you start getting a little depressed. Is it that's starting to become problematic like either. I need to do something different. Myself know there's things we can do or I need to reach out and I do ask someone for some help. I don't need to just assume that all of this is normal. We got the virus.
It's okay to feel this way and then what about so this that's gonna looking at ourselves, but how, how might this start to manifest in a family situation where you pick parental relationships with kids and that we have as as married couples we have, we can have problems there.
So fear and anxiety. Was that look like when it started to get out of control in those relationship yeah so when you start seeing relational conflict increase like little things that you know parents and children used to not fight about little things us is a wide she's not fight about, but now everything is getting it on your out where you meeting your French fries like that like that you have to correct your serial outlet like every little thing is starting to bring about conflict in the relationships okay will and probably it's the stress that's crowding into that relationship. It's it's not necessary. This conflict between those people is the baseline of our overall stress is been raised up and now it's impacting every single person in the family. A lot of times just because of overexposure to one another. Right like luminous sugars great you know you don't 10 pounds straight and pounds of dry for best to be a good thing that I will get into some practical tips because the dealer those relational stressors is obviously some things that we could do that that would be good for all of that and then I advise how we know all this is a question how do we know when art when our kids are starting to struggle more than what they have done in the past so teenagers or younger kids talk about that. Yes I two ends of the spectrum. If they either become really overly emotional like they began crying, they get angry there acting out rebellious that's on one end of the spectrum kind of a negative into the spectrum of the other end of the spectrum is some kids internalize all of that. So rather than acting out if they suddenly become very isolated and alone they won't talk to anybody you see them beginning to shut down those are usually pretty good sign that something different is going on.
It may just be that there taken some time to process it and that's okay but we don't want to just assume that we want to ask right like talk about it with your kids like don't just assume that everything is is okay here's the deal are children are going to pick up on how to handle this, not so much in what we tell them, but in what they see in us. And so if they see us handling it well they us handling CS handling, they see us, praying, reading Scripture talking about healthfully. Bill pick up healthfully on those things. But if we don't talk about it but we at stress and we act overwhelmed me have a lot of doubt they're going to pick up on those things and they're gonna see that in us so don't even just assume that just because you don't necessarily see signs in the other they may be struggling. I was still encourage every parent out there have the conversation with your kids and say how are you doing with this guy are you feeling are you worried are you scared you know because not every kids that show the signs and symptoms there just to be internally processing and they really made me obsessing about some of those fears and you may not know anything about it.
About the time it does become a really big problem it. It may be a really much bigger problem if you would just talk to about it. You know the week week earlier. Whether it's in ourselves and our interests and their spouses in her marital relationship, or with their kids or even in our kids themselves, we kinda need to be on the lookout for those extremes either kind, either kind of a an unnatural unusual pullback into silence and isolation or this kind of this major noticeable increase in anger and backlash and irritability and all that stuff. Gonna look for guards extreme aura. Maybe even just there are reaching for some, coping mechanism, you know that's unhealthy, you know. So like I saw stats might gave it to me yesterday.
Alcohol sales have gone. I got 66% skyrocket out, it's skyrocketing right so if all the sudden you know people are turning to drugs or alcohol or tobacco or you know some some kind of session that they're beginning to do that they had been doing before. It's a pretty good sign that they're looking for something to suit what's going on in them because the cost of the anxiety that they they're looking for some way to salve over that, if you will.
Medicaid is so much screen time that all of us are doing all the time. But even now with with their kids and teenagers home doing up even more screen time around the house.
You notice that looking at the screen all day long. It's also good? What are you watching their watching really depressing nightmarish stuff, really dark. Stop that. That's of course can have an impact sort of turned the corner only come back with Dr. Dave to talk about some practical things. What we do as individuals and families and touch and all the stuff practical help in the Tate Cockrell who's a associate professor of counseling here very very experience Christian counselor himself just cards on the table. Tate's been a huge blessing to our family, especially with her are two sons and and just been a great blessing and so I'm always excited to have Tate on here. This is a great resource for all of us and us to take advantage of it on Facebook live get a lot of questions that I want to start digging into and making some great points and if you want to call in today. That's take advantage of the opportunity had taped on here I have to be on your knees on here because we both want to be a blessing to you and want to provide as many resources and help this weekend so don't be afraid to pick up the call is no shame here is nothing to be embarrassed about were all struggling in one way or another.
In the situation so please let's allow the body of Christ to do what it's designed to do. That's help one another, 866-348-7884 is the number 866-34-TRUTH 878842 got a call in and talk to take any question on piece of advice family relationship about stress and anxiety and fear. What were going through right now with the Corona coronavirus situation.
Please give us a call and take advantage of the show today 866-34-TRUTH 87884 is a number 866-34-TRUTH 878-848-6634 truth so one other question every minimum start going through some these questions because people are bringing some really great points that we need to address.
But how do I know Tate when it's when it's something that I I should build a handle. I can take some these practical steps and I can handle it myself and then at what point do I go I need help them make sense. Yes, great question. Yeah, I think we all want to have a certain level of self resiliency like where we we learn we can pray on our all we can read God's word and are all we can meditate. We got some exercise. We can do some of those things.
But when we tried those things. And now they're not working in spite of our best efforts. Now it's time for us is the body of Christ to rally around one another and say maybe someone else got maybe they can have a perspective of this that I don't have right like maybe they could see something that I can't see maybe a tweak of something I've been trying to do that hasn't been working or something I'm not seeing in myself if I'm trying these things and it's only marginally helping hours not helping at all and it should be helping like everybody's tell me if I do this should work.
If I do that it should work, but now it's not working if kinda flourishing isn't happening as a result of trying those things this time to reach out and ask somebody else yeah that's it. That's a great point. So let's let's get into some these questions, I think that some these questions going on here to bring out some these practical tips that we have in I'm going order and I'll mention some names. I will mention all names but this is one particular friend on Facebook live. They had the tornado in their area affected a job of her husband financial stress. All of that and tons of anxiety and her simple question was how I call myself down lots of tips we could give here know just right off the bat, just a big deep breaths while it's crazy is that sales and as simple as that sounds, some big deep breath. Just succumb to get some oxygen into your system and just allow your body to like release some of the tension I was actually doing a video Steve as you know, for the seminary last week of anxiety at the beginning of it. I was a little nervous about it and I noticed in the recording of the video. Looking back at it like my shoulders were all chants at the beginning just because I was anxious you feel that throughout your whole body and so take us a big deep grass going outside and taking a walk, getting outside of the four walls of your house reaching out to a friend having a conversation. All of those are things that that you could do that will help kinda distract your mind away from obsessing about all of these things that you've lost or try to use this as an opportunity, a synchronous chapter 1 says we comfort other people with the same comfort with which we been comforted ourselves and so we reach out we minister to other people and we so you know I look, I note time and again God's been faithful to me I know is can be faithful in this instance. How can I take this and use it for God's glory in somebody else's life that will help me get my mind off of my own circumstances. Those are just some of the beginning things we do start doing might make a real difference in our lot and I think it's important. Remember, you brought this up before and we talked on the subject is that there go it's okay to seek a temporary distraction. It's okay that pull yourself out of that pit and do something else, anything yet. Just get out of here for a little bit yet is absolutely okay. In fact, it's desirable. There's actually research that done recently in the field of behavioral psychology that say distraction works just as good as cognitive behavioral therapy yes I joke with you during the break. You know, go put together a seven dollar puzzle or pay me 100 bucks to talk to you the same thing to get you to get your mind off of off of that problem that you're just obsessing about that someone at some point you have to come back and deal with these things, but you don't have the deal that immediately all the time.
You mention this earlier so important. Remember, if there's things that are going on down the road if you're pulling all of your future into today. That's really unhealthy as well because we had another person on Facebook live is a great question and very real for a lot of people and getting more real by the day is a loss of income, loss of 401(k) people are retired and there stocks have literally come down about 45% and in that you don't make that stuff up up easily and so you have okay this is an immediate concern for some people you mention this earlier. This is also a time when you need to seek some professional help on that particular subject of its financial sure you're talking to a financial person. If someone enough that this is come up in my counseling you know is, as all of the stuff folded.
I've had individuals that said like when I get to do what I can do and I can help give them some strategies for dealing with all of the stress and anxiety that their feeling, but I'm not a financial planner.
So what I say to them I say listen, does your finances who can you talk to connect you with a good resource they can actually give you some insights into how much you recoup some of that or prevent losing any more than what you while some of this point seek good guidance that was less reason again. Teresa my God gives us the body of Christ. There's a lot of different opportunities for us to rally around one another and really be really be helpful. Here's it is a tangible thing.
I just saw this, that that the seminaries done recently how we can just step in the lives of other people.
All these pastors leave all is that we can't meet in church anymore.
They're all stressed out right about how to care for my people how to preach to them like they're all freaked out about the seminary, says will give you studio will edit the video. Sign up for a time coming and preachers fire were recorded for you will give it see the needle posted online and all of a sudden it's alleviated just like that body of Christ rallies around one another and it ends up being something good and set us up.
You and I think for a lot of and a couple people Sophia asked this couple other people on Facebook live specifically for our firm teenagers and are considered home first.
Mothers are cut off from normal social interaction between the face-to-face stuff and I got to school, whatever. A plus for a lot of them seniors in high school seniors and college all these milestones are disappearing, you're not Camilla walking you can carved our daughters on Camille to go to college graduation at NC State. These are some big things. So in dealing with our kids when there how to remove from the regular element give us some tips there and helping them so number one let's go ahead and give them permission for all of us that then.
In particular, let's go ahead and give them permission to feel that disappointment right it's okay for them to believe in being angry absolutely. Absolutely. I mean III would be angry. I would be frustrated. It's okay if they're angry we don't do that any service when we try to minimize their pain and minimize their disappointment. We need to normalize it instead say we get it we understand it it it is a big disappointment. I think then we kind of turned the corner on what could we do differently like you to be able to graduate but is there some other way celebrate his or some other way. You know that we can do whatever the thing is that you are hoping that you could do and if not is there a way that we could just celebrate what you did not in another way with a different group of people or yet you know just celebrate the fact that you did it and we can celebrate the way we wanted to, but at the end of the day is still a good thing. That's that's out. Yes, it's a great point and look for alternatives. He could still celebrate a graduation with a walk in your file, but you still have to get this deal deal then I really appreciate you saying that that it's okay to have those emotions. It's okay to be angry, get frustrated, you know, go yelling up hello it's okay were not supposed to be in a unit followed Christ doesn't mean you're unemotional. Like teenagers that are used to being around one another and hang out together and they get angry because I can't know this, all social distancing thing and I can't lower my friends house and they can't come over here. We understand the disappointment. But what can you do. Let's not.
Let's not get so upset.
So what you've lost. Let's see if we can redirect that energy to what could you do instead of doing what you can yeah that's a great point and in my somebody else on this, but to the subject on Don Facebook shared Jessica shared that this her daughter 16th birthday this week, so it's not the goal is not that big of a deal, but to a 16-year-old girl. It is insists on sure she's sad and frustrated and upset so you find ways to go. Kids figure out a way to celebrate this in and let's get a bunch of friends on zoom or whatever and so very with you and sing happy birthday. There's ways that and I actually think this is an opportunity to actually find more depth to find more depth in our relationships more depth in our home more depth in our appreciation. Talk about a time to work on being content. Holy cow. When we strip away so much of that other stuff. What really matters will be left with right now. For most of us it's family and friends some and will and I want us to spend the last segment of the show on all practical tips but this is a great one and another friend on Facebook Stacy doing a great story my friend was telling me how she is to go for coffee several times a week with her sister, so you know that's gone right now. Her sister comes to her house and sits in her truck with her coffee while she sits in a lawn chair in the driveway. They still have coffee together, but your practicing social distancing the great fine also kind of silly but effective way still do what you were doing before I get a copy of Starbucks with a tape tomorrow morning at nine or whatever. Let's zoom her face time you have copy all have a copy will still have a copy times we still will be at Starbucks and getting ripped off so that the plug is targeted.
I got a Cockrell this is Steve build on this evil will show me come back just practical tips got a whole list of hundred practical tips you want to go through helping you deal with anxiety and fear and isolation loss on the pictures will be read an hour of radio goes by so fast.
It Cockrell and I were just talking about a doctor Southeastern Baptist theological seminary so I feel like a caged animal here. I feel like it keeps in one home sometimes. But what's really been helpful at home is is getting outside. We were just lapping on the break. As all of a sudden it's it's funny you look around the country go okay were all homeschoolers now is worth testing your homeschooling family going okay. Welcome to our world and in everybody's a walker. Now all of a sudden, if you're not walking regularly. That's one of our practical tips is get outside and get some get some exercise, stretch your legs. Get out of the house and get out of that isolation, but we were talking on the break tape but I don't spend a lot of time in this, but a little bit.
I think it's important because several people I get my diets terrible right now. Some people are doing couch to 5K. I mean getting rest getting exercise and what we eat all these things are really important to her.
Think eat, sleep, exercise those three things can have a profound impact on how much anxiety and depression that we feel when we deliver not eating right, having to that's Kathleen having too much sugar. The crash comes on the other side of that is deftly noticeable. It affects our immune system impacts our insulin levels.
If were not exercising them where work is generally get a feel bad to me.
The more you lay around and do nothing, the worse you're going to feel.
And then III use this example with you before the show today you people because of the change in schedules like sometimes there there taken a nap in the middle of the day, and that means you're not going to bed right at the right time, played so now there sleep is impacted by that Cinelli feel groggy the next day, the grogginess feels like depression and so now there were why my getting depressed. Now I know you didn't get much sleep sleep yeah you didn't sleep so exercise, eating rye and getting some rest. All those are really good keys and so practical tips work on it in that area and in one of the things about talked about is really watch your media intake. Man is said to she's huge Steve Wheatley complain sometimes the girls were like, you know, getting this out this is so did were watching a TV show we say this is so depressing. You know this is that this is likely feel so nervous and I'm thinking you're watching that like you watch enough of it for you to come to get a grasp of what you need to be (but when we just glued to that television I watch it hour after hour where you work your check in the death counselor check in the amount of our 401(k) were check in the all of these different things that all they're doing is inviting more and more anxiety.
I want us to be informed sure not saying that we want to become hermits like once we get the valuable information that we need that we need to turn it off need to move on to something else.
Zachary pushed away from the table you gluttony doesn't only apply to food. It can apply don't notice as well. That is exactly right so important. Well, what about family activity you mention this earlier. He now you're cooking at home all the time. For the most part of the cooking together so family activity versus realizing that maybe everybody needs a little individual time to think there needs to be a balance of that state. I think for a lot of couples you know they not maybe I was in counseling all the time.
We just ahead of time together. We just have time together.
Now you got time together. So let's use that time and use it wisely.
Don't just be in the room together like let's do some meaningful things was have some conversations watch TV show together will laugh a little bit and then let's do those things together as a family. But then there's also gonna be those times where it's like were tickly for me like I'm an introvert like to recharge. I need some alone time. Like I need some time.
That's just for me is so there needs to be during times like this I always say over communicate with your family by just a really good job of communicating what your needs are, what you wants our winter assumptions are really good job communicating that said that if someone does need some time. We can give that person the time. This kind of thing you know we don't have to spend every waking minute together.
You know, just because where we know we are in isolation.
Yet I was about to mention that there have plenty of grace and mercy and if somebody even if your kids that you know I need a break. I don't to do everything with you mom and dad both extend that courtesy allowed to do that when you asked for it.
That should be okay if your spouse as for that to be okay. We don't it's it's the measure of your Christianity is not we can actually speak spend every waking moment together. I still have a bunch of sinners in the room and so you have those problems so we need to manage that. Accordingly, while talking about just from up a Christian perspective purely. What about Scripture and prayer and praise and worship what what what how can that help us when all others are are really good. I mean I think everybody ought to have some scriptures, you know, kind of in their back pocket.
If you will, the ones that they just know in times past these verses have been really comforting to me. They been really encouraging to me, these verses really brought me through a really difficult time, and if we can pull those scriptures out and read those again and be reminded not just of what the Scripture says, but the truth of what that Scripture meant to us during that time are we seeing God be faithful in our life before it can be. It can be real ceilings of the soul would be a real encouragement to us and I think of course, praying in particular during times like this when there's a lot of uncertain what better to do than to talk to the only person who does have any certain about what's going on and that's got nobody else on this land has the purview that God has a body else and it has the definite's the way God does and so who better to reach out to have a conversation with and to be real with you know not not these flowery pie-in-the-sky saying the same things over and over and over again, but a real conversation with your father says you father on.
I'm I'm hurt and disappointed. I'm scared and I just need some help like I need your presence in my life. Just be real in those moments I think is really helpful to utilize technology and pray with others to talk as I these time zoom whatever in Facebook lie whenever the say hey let's pray right now. What a great opportunity we have to come to keep those connections going and praise the Lord. This is one of those instances when our technology is a huge blessing and from a counseling perspective doing all your regular sessions online and via like zoom and stuff right yeah I'm actually counseling up in counseling more the last three weeks and I've actually been counseling prior to that a lot a lot of my clients are actually finding that that zoom is a platform that I really, they're really enjoying it.
It's it's allowing them to do it in the comfort of their their own home and now there's a few downsides to say, but by and large we have found it to be a very very effective platform and and their other counselors out there dirt doing tele-counseling and video counseling at so don't don't use the quarantine took to get you in the mindset of I can't get help because you can. You absolutely can. There's plenty of people out there do the exact same thing I'm doing anyway and it works. It absolutely works yet nuts again. Now that are scheduled. It's disrupted and were home or and all that kind of stuff. This is a great time and we talked about this before. Second Corinthians chapter 1. One of the best ways you can help yourself if you're down is to help somebody else. So like this young couple that we did their pre-marriage counseling. It's my wife's nephew and we did their pre-marriage counseling by zoom year ago and now are doing some touching another reading through the Bible right now that a bunch of questions that that they wrote them all down. We spent 2 1/2 hours with them on Saturday.
Just as that worsen under our counselors and on their couch, going back and forth about their questions in the Bible.
Awesome. And then just with friends so her chart were to have a zoom tonight with our closest friends are Steve Lewis is on the show yesterday and we can't be together but but we can you sit there on the couch and in back that could be two hours and will be a blast that we otherwise on a weeknight wouldn't of done men I think is a great opportunity to do that's it absolutely is and see there's this this big debate right now about how work canceling church and in my response to that is you can't cancel people and that's what the church is and so went canceling church work were not allowing people to congregate. The physical building, but that doesn't mean that Sunday school classes and life groups in small groups and friends and partner biblical community in your fake meeting where you are. It nothing prevents you. You and I right now you're here over the other in my house here at the seminary, but we are having a full-blown conversation you can see me. I can see you and it's almost as good as if I was right there with you.
We ought to have the opportunity to do that right that's right so mutual friend of ours Chris Allen is bugging me saying because I have this iron Academy signed by me is like hold that thing up so everybody can see it will that's only the people on Facebook lie. But here's what it says I iron Academy here in town. It's an awesome young man. I will always conduct myself as a gentleman live pure speak truth right wrong and follow the key.
The iron Academy iron Co. undercoat right behind you. So Chris wanted me to put that up there and speak it so that that's great things that Chris. But again, I think, want to go back to the soul notion, which got a couple minutes of distraction.
If you're losing a home you're losing your temper somebody else and kids are getting a little nutty. Okay go outside, get out of the situation. Distraction is fine, just don't make a habit of it, go for a walk, read a book, watch a movie together that I'm in this thing that we can do. But then there's times to be a part.
I think it's a yeah good reminder yet is really good reminder.
See I just say this to use the distraction to kinda calm down. Get your emotions in check did a re-engagement people in your home and have a conversation and say hey I wish I would've said that like that you I want to always to be agreeable with my kids. After just a couple of days of being all over dinner.
When I just said listen, I want us to be a home of peace were to be around each other a lot and we just work extra hard this is for all of this is not be talking down to my kids. This is me admitting for myself.
I want to be a person of peace and I want all of us to be a person. Please let's let's forget that. Let's work at actually extending grace regularly to one another during a difficult time for all of us and I think that that you back to prayer and scripture reading and again finding this and not because of what I do I'm doing research all the time and really adept at using Google which is Google Scriptures, fear, anxiety, Scriptures you loneliness Scriptures anger Scriptures relationships and then Paige said this on Facebook live instead of just reading it all. You have some write it down, take the time to do the exercise that will pay the limited even better.
The Scripture write it down consumer somebody and have a conversation about how Dr. J Cockrell so great to have you here kind in the studio fear based on Skype besides a Skype, FaceTime zoom. There's all kinds Google hang out okay nicely.
Don't make a habit of it. Make sure you're okay with Jackson doing Robin home to go for walk your separate and come back to run away from the problem. Make sure your reaching out again to get stronger, but don't be afraid to reach out for help. Dr. J. Cockrell, great to see if anything he thinks he will talk later be held on the elbow. So, God willing, always