Domestic Violence Awareness

The following program is recorded content created by the Truth Network job. Everyone ties with his noble show where biblical Christianity meets the everyday issues of life in your home, at work, and even in politics.

Steve is an ordinary man who believes in an extraordinary God it on his show.

There's plenty of grace and lots of three no sacred call Steve Brown at 86 34 three 866-34-TRUTH or checking out online, Steve Noble Joe.com now here's your host Steve Noble for a lot of you October 2 month at all for the state fair.

I just started why anybody got there. I know I but not October really nice month but for some of you this is a particular different difficult month at the appointed month of the month. It impregnated with a lot of meaning and bad memories and pain and loss because October happens to be domestic violence awareness month, and this is not something I say this every time that Joy forces back in the studio was called to peace ministries. This is something that I think we can never talk about too much or too often because it's far too common and most people are aware of that. It's not dissimilar from the abortion issue where you have hurt about 35% of women adult women in America will have an abortion. By the time they reach 45 years of age. There are a whole lot of women and some men, but the vast majority are women that experience domestic violence and and and abuse in general case want to be here domestic violence and her abuse don't necessarily think it's only about black eyes or worse because is a whole lot more that goes on with domestic abuse than just the physical violence but for a lot of people, but might be you and certainly for all three women on the show today. This is a personal issue, it's a deeply painful issue about God likes to work in painful situations and no matter what the world throws at him and it's brokenness. You can always trust him to do some work on it. Do miracles and help you if you're willing to go down that road.

So working to talk to all three of these latest today, but of course Joy Forrest back in the house called the peace ministries founder, chief executive and any other titles Joel Shealy executive Executive Director, Executive Director, CEO and board member, chair Lori think founder founder yet founder it's good I'll get you teacher.

It was great to see you. How are you thanks for coming doing well thank you for having us.

It is this month different for you. I mean, obviously it's gotta be because you guys have a very busy season with called the peace and called the peace has grown so much in the last two years and obviously there's so much need out there, but when it's particularly pointed like this doesn't just feel different to you being a survivor yourself. Yeah, sometimes I think the gravity of it hits me once in a while, especially when we have to tell stories.

We try to tell stories and raise awareness during this month so some days I get overwhelmed and I get overwhelmed at God's goodness that he would allow us to be a voice and to make a difference in and where you think were at a scale from 1 to 10 as a nation and as a church when it comes to our awareness of domestic violence. I have to say that it has improved amazingly just in the five or six years since we've been doing ministry. The church is waking up, but still don't know how to handle it very well. I would say on a scale of one to from 1 to 10, maybe a five anywhere interesting season where I have plenty of issues with the me to movement, but it has brought an additional light of the conversation. Everything we see happening with people like Andy Cuomo or whoever pick your big star sometimes on the left, sometimes on the right, but I'm glad for that and but how prevalent is it how many women experience domestic abuse and domestic violence.

While the American Medical Association said back in to well in the 1980s. They did a survey nationwide and they came up with one in three would experience severe physical harm in the relationship in an intimate relationship in their lifetime.

I took part of that survey and I lie on it because I thought they would try to hunt me down and do something I don't know what you know but that was I was young and I was fearful, but also the world help the organization says one in three will experience physical abuse, physical harm in an intimate relationship so we know that it's probably even higher than that it's that's staggering because there's a lot more to it than just physical abuse absolute letter. Some of the other signs because that's one of the things that happens every time you're on and everything we talk about this is all get some feedback from people that really didn't know that what they were experiencing actually is abusive yeah I would call it. It in my mind. It's like being held hostage.

It's like domestic terrorism, so you don't have a lot of freedom to be who you are to think what you want to think you are controlled in multiple ways from intimidation to manipulation to mind games to financial abuse. Using the children. All of those things that you tend to read out for me every time I come now got the power and control will you and I think that's one, not because you went through that yourself to talk to Beth here in a minute that Agnes got a story that involves her and her sister, and tragic and some of you might remember when she shares it in. And of course our friend Lynn Lynn is here and she's going to share as well but do you find that for yourself. At first you're like I don't know that I really want to classify this as abuse, absolutely. In fact, most of the women that we work with will come to us saying I know something's wrong I did.

I just don't want to call it abuse. I'm just really confused most of the time they don't call it abuse until something really more severe happened that was my situation I was in it for 23 years until I finally named it as abuse next week. Something's going on that you guys are doing here locally at called the peace ministries. By the way, that's called to peace.org so if you're down this road at all. If you think you know somebody. This town is the road it all you need to go to the website called to peace. That's T0 called to peace.work but next week doing of a vigil candlelight vigil to tell us about that because that's one of those things I think a lot of people might be nervous to go even though they've experienced it because maybe for the first time it's coming out of the darkness and the light. So what we're going to do is allow people to come and to just honor the story of somebody they know who it's live through or even not live through domestic abuse will be lighting floating lanterns at sunset and will be having will have some testimonies, Beth will be there. I'm telling a little bit of her story. We have a another survivor and and wealth. Actually, a couple of other survivors who will be speaking and then Omar King, who is on our board and as a pastor and elder at Summit church and then I'll be speaking so this is next Wednesday, October 20 Karen yes Wednesday evening October 20 20 at yeah right at 5:30 PM is when we will we call it doors open, but they're not horse of trees and you like I'm wearing a beautiful beautiful piece of property here in the North Raleigh area severe in the Triangle area or if you even if you're outside.

This is probably something that would be very helpful for you.

Why should people, converting to talk to Beth and she'll share her story and the other side of the break, but why should people come to the vigil. Well first of all we want to recognize that it is a problem we want to be able to say to people.

This is a problem it's a problem in our nation. Now it's a problem in our churches and all around. We want to acknowledge that and we want to acknowledge the value of the people who have experienced in the ones who have perished as a result of it and the ones who have come through that maybe they're scarred from my own times of personal survivors.

People that know people and if you're looking for healing anyway and maybe want to put it out there because got to show off.

The question is will you be there if he will be.

That's next on Wednesday, October 20 530 to 7:30 PM new life camp.

That's at called to peace.org and get all the information you'll hear Beth story and Beth and about her sister. When we come back for the welcome back to Steve Noble to Steve Noble show October is domestic violence awareness month, which by the way, as a reminder, is not just violence. Okay you need to understand that it's super important and even for you. Some you guys out there if you find anything on this rings true to you at some point you need to get some help I could. You could be part of the problem, intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, minimizing, denying and blaming using the children economic abuse male privilege don't get triggered about that male privilege coercion and threats. So there's a lot more than just physical violence, and then so we're focusing a lot of different things today. October is domestic violence awareness month. Our good friend Joy for some called the peace ministries back in the house but also brought a couple about her friends and sisters in arms with her Beth Egner's here who's been working with children for 15 years now.

Is that right, God bless you. Yes. So you're the most saintly person in the room and it's great to have you here think you and I know this is this is obviously a difficult subject for you and incredibly difficult story to tell, but one that needs to be told to just start wherever you like. Because I know this involves her sister yes so my sister Lauren. She is, unfortunately, she is a victim of domestic violence as well as homicide and so on.

Our story how that unfolds is you have to understand our family little bit weird very tightknit family. We do everything together on so we are not without arguments from time to time. His are always together and were not without butting into each other's business so we can know everything about each other and and so when she first met Matt and actually her. Matt met in junior high and then my family moved to North Carolina and they never spoke again until Matt found her on social media and he found her in social media.

Actually, right before he got married to his first wife and then gave a cryptic email to her saying I can't talk anymore because I'm getting married and I made a promise to me made my wife that I wouldn't you know, talk with other people bought a box didn't really, that sounds great and wholesome didn't know the full story and so that's where it ended and about two years later, he reached back out to learn founder and and social media. And at that point, his wife had left him and he was ready to move on.

He said, and so he is very dedicated to Lauren always going to make sure she was happy wanting to do whatever he could to you know keep her happy and it was a long distance. At first he was living in Bowling Green, Kentucky she was living here in Raleigh and I think that really the pivotal time is in October 2014. My dad had had to have a triple bypass open heart surgery and he drove down through the night to be there with Lauren and so is interesting and to see them together and see how much he was there to support her and so we kind of instantly Lake gravitated towards Hedda looks good yet on it looks great and so from there. Things progressed, and he decided to move to North Carolina to be with Lauren, he transferred with his job which she was taking care of people like in their homes, like companion person and so he did great at that job very loving would always sit and talk with people was really good listener didn't do a ton of talking that was a really good listener and he the first month he was there was, you know the number one employee of the month, then I mean things just looks great. Yeah all great on Paul. Great when you really think about it, though he was just working you know a job that only made minimum wage. She wasn't really like being in a wanting to further his career anything like that but we didn't really think of any that because he was such a nice charismatic yet quiet person and so fast forward to February 2015 and our aunt passed away we went on we went out to California for that funeral and Lauren just seemed a little bit like frustrated with him and didn't talk a lot about it. Every time I ask her she was a no, I don't know why he's frustrating that he's frustrating and so about two months later she said I can't do this anymore like I think you should be back to Bowling Green and said he left in April 2015 and he went back to Bowling Green and I was devastated because I thought he was so good for Lauren.

She seemed happy. My mom was even upset.

She didn't. She didn't really can't put into words what was upsetting her and she wasn't necessarily just upset I was leaving, she just kind of upset about the whole situation and on. Then they never really stopped talking. They just texted back and forth all the time. Matt then came back and it was the end of June 2015. He came back and they seemed happy as ever. Well going back to why he left my Lauren finally frustrated was because he was being super jealous about her time anytime she was out spending time with their friends. He was asking when is she coming home and just acting very jealous.

He chalked it up to his ex-wife had cheated on him and left him until he had this baggage and he understood that he couldn't put that baggage on Lauren and his two months away. He become a new man was ready to come back and act appropriately. And he did when he did for a long time and on fast forward, he proposes to Lauren is a huge lake over the top.

He always did over the top gifts for her and over-the-top proposal and everything was just very outlandish even if he was kind of a little bit more of a quiet introvert. Those were the ways Psyche showed his love. I guess, and so it was always like trying to pull her and now you know hindsight looking at Eaton's here trying to pull her into him. He also was more so. Lauren is always fought for the underdog. From the time she was a little bitty girl. She took fought for underdogs and since he made himself an underdog. So she would fight for him so that she would always want him around and want to let you know build him up and encourage him and all of those things and so on. Everything seemed okay until I got married I got married on November 11, 2016 and rapidly.

It declined after that they went on their honeymoon they came back he quit a job without even telling her it, things were kind of crazy there.

His car died into the head by a new car and not an finances. Lauren was always very financially savvy when she got married she had like $10,000 in her savings account or something like that which doesn't sound a lot like a lot like you really establish person but she was still young adult and have that much said something to the word abuse ever show up in any of us never know conversation nobody nothing, never. And so we get to January and he decides to take a job and it's just frustrating Lauren because he spending money and he's not making money, and she stressed out and she picks up all these extra little side hustles to you know help and it's just not it's not working. In February I wake up from a nightmare.

Hysterical and I call my mom and said I just had the most horrible nightmare. I dreamt that Matt killed Lauren and I couldn't tell her because I was so worried they were having so much friction that she was in a think I didn't have faith in her husband to be a good husband and I would think badly of him and so I never told her and things just continue to kind of not go well until we get to August 31, and on August 31, 2017. Maureen had had whatever day at work. She came home me and Lauren are very very close.

We share everything got right up against the break you want to.

You hear what happens next is a lot more to the story is tragic and heartbreaking is, leading to some other conversations so make sure you don't go anywhere in the make sure you share this around the podcast Facebook life. This is very important will be right back noble so October is domestic violence awareness month, we've got our friends from called ministries and today Joy Forrest is been on many times called to peace.org AOL D TOPS called to peace.org for all kinds and pray she can find out about the vigil that's going on next week here in Raleigh became like the jewel next Wednesday night October 20 530 to 730 new life campuses in North Raleigh. Beautiful, beautiful area.

There's big fundraising effort going on this month that unfortunately and beautifully.

Unfortunately, the ministry has exploded in the last couple years and that's because the need is great. It's kind of like when Jesus was telling us to pray for more workers because the field was ripe of the harvest.

Unfortunately this field is ripe on the harvest. There is a lot of domestic abuse going on.

Not enough of us or engage the churches and engage in, and so we really appreciate your joy is always up for everything that you've done and continue to do but Beth Egner's here as well, sharing her story about her sister and her sister, an old flame from when they were younger and everything looks good when you will tend to think like that and he's nice. Is Friendly's pursuing your sister in the leaves and he comes back to get married and they're having challenges and and don't we all marriage that's not abnormal at all. You had it you have a dream earlier in the year of 2017 terrible thought about perhaps him actually killing his wife. Your sister and then August 31, 2017 rules around what happened that day.

Lauren was she was happy about a few different things. She we talked on the phone several times and that Matt gets home and he decides that he personally was running late from getting home from work so I was already kind of frustrating to her and then some. He comes to the door girl who selling AT&T door-to-door and he knows her and decides to leave and go with her and Moran says I almost have dinner ready. What you doing and he says I should go hang out there for little while and she's on the phone with me and she is hot she is super mad. She just is so angry and she actually says the words to me. I am finished, and then she continues we get off the phone and she text me later and says he is just bringing me down. He is ruining my life. I want out.

I'm done.

Me and Lauren talk a couple more times that night, but we never did want to get her super upset and continue to make her relive whatever's going on between them. So I was going to give her the date to deal with it and we would talk again tomorrow when she cool down what I did notice tomorrow and happen because Lauren and I were on the phone up until almost midnight and she finally went to bed and I fell asleep where I was sitting in the recliner in my house and at 1245 at night. I wake up, startled and ice kind of feel panic.

I don't know what's wrong but I feel panicked. I look at my phone to see like to fall asleep on her and she asked me question. Note the last thing I said to her, as I love you. Good night. She said I love you good night and that was it and what you transpiring in their home is not stabbed Warren to death hundred and 23 times throughout this process we had a little steps by little steps had had hoped and tried to live in this delusional world will maybe was not that maybe was super quick and maybe shouldn't have that much pain and as you can imagine 120 religions. It was not. It was 20 minutes of pure torture that she thought him and fought for her life and I think about what were the word she was saying and praying in and worrying about her family and what this was energy to her family because I know that's what she thought of and and that then washed himself up laid out course eaten cough medicine on the counter and then called 911 after Lauren was beyond help and and had this crazy thing that I was sleeping and I had a dream I woke up in my wife's dead on the floor and I think I did it. That's what he says on the big, big news didn't expect it went it went worldwide and it still worldwide people from all over the world. So contact me to do interviews and TV shows and everything and so it was, it was traumatizing the to say the least, the homicide detectives came to my parents house and called him a monster and I might there homicide detectives AC homicides every right what what does that mean that has to be worse than just like a normal homicide and then as things unfold and we found out how many wounds and how long the fight probably lasted we realize why they said what they said in you know when we look back on Lauren's life with Matt at note, there was we didn't see anything until the last 10 months of their relationship. They even seemed awry, except for that blip that seem like yeah of course he had baggage. His ex-wife left him and cheated on him, but that was in the trivia. He attempted to kill his ex-wife is well.

Well, but she was able to escape. So what you tell people now both in terms of what you unfortunately learned through all that in terms of domestic violence and abuse because obviously there was a lot more going on than you knew and probably even a lot more going on than you ever suspect why think that's the scary thing is there is more going on then Lauren and that's the really scary thing to me is it there so much that even people that are being abused don't even realize it's happening to them, whether that's because your brain is trying to protect you or you just can't see it because they're hiding it that well and I think that that is that is a thing in our society has this picture of light and abuse person looks like right.

What an obese person is and date and if I don't fit in that box and I'm not abused, but you might just be you nuts and that's the challenge about.

Thank you so much for sharing that. Thank you Iraq. Enjoy.

Isn't that the challenge that a lot of people just don't see it on the outside looking in and and perhaps Beth sister would have said that some point, maybe. But it seems to me in all the times we talked about this, that that's one of the biggest problems was the person being abuse can't see it in the people, even around them. Either can't see it or won't see it that absolutely problem it is a problem and then I think that if a lot of times as I'm hearing the story and I'm hearing that Lauren said I'm done a lot of times when you tell an abuser you're done.

That's 75% of home domestic violence homicides happen after the woman either leaves or says he's going to leave and so but they didn't have any clue that it that he would be that dangerous. I bet he probably hadn't been physically abusive yet that's it so difficult to consider, but we need to we need to listen to the stories and and unfortunately let's let's just remember everybody live in a very broken world we live in a very broken world full of broken people and things often more often than not I want, not what they appear to be so if you have an inkling. If you have a concern you need to be willing to do that you would be willing to press and ask a question and stick your nose in a little bit and I know that can be awkward and we all try to pull back from that. But in this case, just like with Beth sister that could be somebody's life on the line.

Lynn Bateman is here with us and Lynn. It's great to have you in the studio. Don't take anything with you but Lynn was in her before because Joy wrote the book called the piece, which came out several years ago and then lended the audio version and so we were able to give her some equipment and then she got that done.

Which is awesome but that wasn't the easiest project for you to do was and it only took four months I take two weeks on end. By the way, you were incredible. During that time because it was that was a challenge because having been a survivor myself and a lot of joy stories that were in the book. You know I had been out of it for years. But when I read the book.

A lot of the stories were very similar, and it got tricked you and I got triggered I was started having nightmares again and it all came back so it was. It really took a lot of God's strength. No pouring in the me to be able to get through with that but I felt like it was a very important project because there are a lot of women that can have that book on the nightstand, but they can maybe download the audiobook talked about it on floor because if you're in an abusive situation. The last thing you have sitting on your nightstand writes a book about abuse right but you can hold onto it, hide it on the old iPod right. Listen to it, you know, so we do have audible version of the book now and it and it goes through a lot of what abuse is power that controlled the physical abuse but it also goes through the second half is very encouraging and it shows what God can do to get us through these situations get us out of these situations and heal our heart on whether or not the church has stood by you and I've been blessed to have very good churches, stand by me that I a lot of women have had very different experiences in their churches, but her book goes through all of that. I felt like I was very useful. No, absolutely. So with your own stair historian shares, much as well will will had a break in about a minute and 1/2 that I know that also ties into why you're so involved with called a piece of wire so committed.

What's going on, it does. I'm a survivor I was a survivor of domestic violence is child and then as a married woman on my ex-husband knew when we got married that that was not to be tolerated in our house and it just like the best situation in Laurens on it's very insidious. It creeps up very slowly. I mean it's you know it's that old euphemism about how you boil a fraud, you know, you just turned up very slowly and you don't got to the point where there were episodes of physical violence. You know, I was grabbed by my throat you know and then and then nothing. And then an apology and you know promises to change. You know, and then something else would happen six months or year later and it took a series of incidences like that.

It wasn't until my daughter was in the same situation. And that's the guilt that I bear that it ever got to that situation and then after that point. Then I found out things happen were boys when I've been out of town on business. You know that that they were put up against the wall or other things had happened to them. So it's it takes a while for all of that to come out and sometimes it's very it's hard to put the pieces of the puzzle together. As weird as that sounds, you think you would know right off the bat that this is not good, not healthy that this is completely wrong but you make excuses because you don't want to believe it's right how you want to believe it's as bad as it is that it exists at all.

Were talking to a joy for us today called the piece industries and Lynn Bateman is here not right now sharing.

We thank you to do about that shared her story gets more to share on the way out on the last segment that some of the things that you can do some encouragement for you especially if you feel like you're in this boat don't go as long as you is perhaps you were thinking you would applicant will be right back so great to be with you. October is domestic violence awareness month, which by the way is a lot more than just domestic violence violence okay when it comes to abuse. I said this before and join forces here with us from called to peace ministries called to peace.Orbitz TOK called to peace.org so if you know somebody if you are somebody that's dealing with this. It's not just if you want a black guy you don't qualify know that's ridiculous. Okay, we all have to be a little more paranoid about this than we are sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but this is something that's prevalent. Just like abortion. You think I go to a really pro-life church, and my pastor talks about abortion but little about awesome great eye stump. I'm telling you right now based on the reality of the numbers that 2530 35. Some of the women sitting in your church this Sunday or posterboard the same thing is true when it comes to abuse, and abuse, yes obvious it can be physical, but then there's intimidation, emotional isolation, minimizing, denying and blaming using the children economic abuse male privilege, coercion and threats and violence. Okay, so you need to be sensitive about this. That's why we appreciate Beth was sharing her story because of just unbelievably sadly led to the murder of her sister and and nobody saw that coming, and you couldn't predict that and but there were signs were usually don't see that until later and so we need to be aware of the things that were sitting now so that's why we are talking about a domestic violence awareness month with called the police and also Lynn Freeman is here and that was how I was that season of abuse for you than when, how long did that last for you got out it was it started in 2012 and went to 2016. So it was for years, but there had been incidences I think even before that I was unaware of what the kids you know it's I heard a pastor say once that sin is like spiderwebs, you know, it's easily not seen. You can walk in them you you can be all tangled up in them before you even realize how bad the problem is I think that's very truth of domestic violence. Sometimes you just don't know how bad it is. You know you know you're walking on the dark alley but there is no scary music you know and you want to believe it.

You know your life is good that that these things aren't really happening in the enemy can't hijack your family like that.

The boy is that a misconception now you know you know if you get people have the choice that a been down this road, like yourself, like joy and like a Beth with her sister were get behind you get on with your life.

Yet you take the time to record the audio version called Facebook and you're involved in ministry. Why do you stay in it because I would imagine there's a temptation to just get it done.

I'm fine now and save but I don't want to keep swimming in the spool yet.

You are hello. I will tell you one of the most beautiful things is to see what God does through this because God can use all things for goodness terrible as these things are, you know what death experience, you know, I just all of the things the other women in the group. You know what warriors of Christ they are.

Once they come through this once they are woken up, how they rallied to the kingdom world around them. You know they bring souls to Christ. In a way that may not have ever happened had these things not occurred.

You know I I see it in there were women that survived sexual abuse.

There were women that had children that were sexually abused.

You know I was in one of the very early groups that joy started in 2017. And a lot of those women were active in the organization.

Now, a lot of those women are evangelizing and you know feeding the faith. The other people around them.

There is an incredible strength. I mean it's like a little army of warriors you know because these people have come through this and they're very eager to see real kingdom work done. They understand that you know life as a Christian. If you're really seeking Christ.

It is a battlefield.

It's not a Christian, you're gonna forget that in America, that's in the future.

Today the cruise ship ends up here on the planet Earth, and we praise the Lord for that. But in the meantime it's one battlefield after another the joy help us to kind of wrap all this up when it was still a linear time of the show, but because you got people that we should be our radar should be on the attention of the stuff we should be concerned about how our churches are doing with it are dealing with it and the new know because this happens every time you know there's people listening that are being abuse themselves and so how do we engage what should we be thinking help us to kind of lay on this plane and that how can we help you all.

The Lord is called you to do well. One of the reasons called to peace ministries exist is to is to raise awareness and to to help to help be a part of the solution. Our churches, they failed miserably and it's not because I mean to, it's because this is so counterintuitive. Beth didn't know what was going on with Lauren even though she spoke to her every day. She had no clue that it would go this far and I think our churches is the same thing because most abusers are our calm, cool, collected very charismatic and so we know Jesus talked about the sheep of the wolves in sheep's clothing and said that's what were dealing with here were dealing with pure evil that we have to learn to recognize and and so that's part of our mission. It called to peace is to educate people to know what the signs are to help them to know what to look for. And recently we started a church partnership program.

We have pastors who will go in and work with other pastors to help educate them so that they understand what it looks like and so hopefully we can prevent more tragedies like what happened to Lauren but also we can help bring freedom to those who have been oppressed and who may be there churches are treating it like a marital problem and actually in intent unintentionally keeping them under oppression right God's heart is for those who are oppressed, and so that's our vision and our and our call. I called to peace. And so we, like you said, have grown 606% in the last two years. Actually, we haven't got the statistics for 21 but from 18 to 20 we we grew hunt 606% of codes making it worse. Got up and talk at home and kids going because most of the kids that are involved with domestic violence and domestic issues that could found out why that's cool.

Your problem at school. You don't hear that nestled all those types of problems of discrete and so we get hundreds hundreds of calls every year on last year of a 2000 people reach out to us and so we need we need it. We need unfortunately we need financial support.

We have a lot of wonderful volunteers but we need financial support and so we have a fundraiser going on during this month and right now we have a $20,000 matching grant so anybody who gives money. Hopefully in the next day or two or even this week the way were going.

It will be matched and will be doubled and so this is all that we do called to peace of basically where providing direct services to victims of domestic abuse where providing education to pastors and church leaders and counselors so that they understand how to deal with it more effectively because most of them just don't you and I both have to probably battle our tendency to want to beat the tar out of churches because of the deal with churches since 2004, so there's the part of me that has to hold off on him, but then I little compassion shows up every once in a while but churches need to be equipped and sometimes we put the marriage above understanding what's going on with the abuse we want to save your marriage while you might lose your life like that sister did.

So there's the training there, but for women that are better start to deal with it then there's groups like Lynn was talking now we have support groups and we actually have advocacy so we have a one-year advocacy training now, and we've trained over 360 people. I believe across the country and we have advocates in multiple states across the United States. Now who will walk alongside help a person who comes out reaches out to us to to determine what's going on in their marriage and it'll help them look at their options were not there to tell them what to do.

We don't tell them to get a divorce. We don't tell them to go to go, we don't tell them this day.

We help them explore options and we really prioritize their safety and so we do that, all from faith-based perspective because when I went through it years ago. There is no way I was going to go to a secular shelter.

I wanted answers from God's word and his truth, and so that's what we provide a call to peace. I think we're very unique and there's really nothing else like it well and we work on healing people scripturally to because even now, you know, we hear even now I hear frequently God hates divorce in on actually realizing a divorce or you know turn the other cheek have had fellow Christians say that to me in the past six months well and you didn't turn the other cheek will. The Bible says turn the other cheek it doesn't say stand there and keep getting beat right you know so and I think a lot of the conflict for us as Christian women is you know, we know God hates divorce. And of course he hates divorce, but he hates the fact that there's ever a reason that you should need water course. You know, so the end and he hates violence worse. You know that he hates divorce, but of course he hates for but you know we have to sort that out in our heads and it's very confusing because you don't let God down.

You don't let your family down you know, I think.

Had it not our situation not spread my children I you know I don't know that I would've woken up and pushed back from it just for my own sake, you know what a great point and soaked up again the vigil next week tells what that real quick next Wednesday 530 to 7:30 PM at new life camp and also will be streamed on live on pathos, but we would love for people to come and put a lantern in the water.

If your local please go to our website and register and you can you know reserve a lantern for your loved one or for yourself. If you want to put something in there for yourself. We did it back in our retreat back in May and women would put things. They were like just releasing their burdens into the waters. It's I believe it's going to be very powerful and we would love for people to come and join us I think is going to be shut reflects a reflection of God's heart and in the fundraiser with the matching grant like movies, please go to called to peace.org and click on domestic violence awareness month. There may be a donate pay button on the front page. But please, if you would consider it.

We just ask that you would prayerfully consider it. Many of the women that we work with.

Try to give to us, but a lot of them have been financially devastated by gone through and soft tell people we are not a ministry that operates on widows might we could sit and we can certainly use all the help we can get you have any more training sessions come up in the near future. Yes, we have a protect protect the flock, which I believe is the lot over 26 and 12:30 PM. That will only be live stream it's it's going to happen at a crisis pregnancy center up in Roxborough and there's no more room for person attendance. You can always register. That's a free training that we do church and ministry know what I love the title of the project the flock identifying and responding to domestic abuse in the church called the peace.org is the website of got all the links up on Facebook live so you can get to the website itself. You get to the prayer vigil for next week. You can look at that you can look at the fundraiser as well as a link to the book called the peace and the audiobook that's on audible that Lynn did not that long ago. Praise the Lord for her finish and thank you so much you are going over to have you all and I think you so much for sharing that Lynn great is always a joy. God bless you and thanks for being sure this around posted. Don't be afraid to post this hot topic.

Okay people they need to hear you go to called the peace.org this is Steve Noble and Steve Noble show, God willing, I'll talk again real soon.

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