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Theology Thursday: Conflict Resolution

The Steve Noble Show / Steve Noble
The Truth Network Radio
August 27, 2020 11:41 pm

Theology Thursday: Conflict Resolution

The Steve Noble Show / Steve Noble

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August 27, 2020 11:41 pm

Theology Thursday: Conflict Resolution

Theology Thursday dives into Conflict Resolution with Dr. Tony Merida of Imago Dei Church in Raleigh.  Today Steve goes through Tony's new book: Christ-Centered Conflict Resolution...A Guide for Turbulent Times


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Everyone is time for this noble show where biblical reality meets the everyday issues of life in your home. Even in politics.

Steve is an ordinary man who believes in an extraordinary God on a show, there's plenty of grace and lots of true no sacred forgery 866-34-TRUTH or checking out online, Steve Noble no future host not so sure. I was trained or if I caught it or what the deal was but overpowered that's that's how you do it talk a little louder talk little faster.

Be a little more force will get your way and then you can resolve any conflict you ever get into until you meet another person who plays by the exact same rules and then it doesn't go so well so were to spend today's theology Thursday talking about something that I'm sure you don't experience much in your life at all because if I'm in a put two things together in the same pot it's knocking to be 2020 in conflict.

This is no way to skip work that way. So whether it's master black lives matter, Donald Trump or Joe Biden, and just the fact that we been stuck together a lot more than usual.

I've been asking a lot of my students as were backup in teaching again. These high school homeschoolers account of the things that they missed the most. Based on the shutdown and the impact of covert on their lives and they said contact with other people and what it what are you enjoying the most about your summer and they said contact with other people because they were doing other things they had more time to be together but if you notice the more contact we have with other meet people, the more conflict we tend to have with other people sorta work our way through a theology of conflict resolution with pastor Tony Marita founding pastor reminded a church here in Raleigh. Also, director of theological logical training for X 21, the church planting network, Greenpeace, Senate seminary, which I want to talk about as well and also talk about this book, Christ centered expositor which you done a lot of that. Hope you been writing the books with weeding and a good number of BNH so I think of 16 and print eventually that simply commentaries right so the eights eight of those are nine of those are commentaries and then a couple of preaching books, couple of other books and in a couple with other publishers and how long have you been a pastor's house. 27 when I started I was in New Orleans.

Interesting enough, during Hurricane Katrina, the first pastorate at been there eight months now and 43 so is it 16 years, a few more than 10 skillet data.

Have you ever seen a year for from a pastoral perspective like 2020 was stupid and right is the stupid question though, and not talk to pastors all over the world and is just pastors, especially in the states. Given some of our unique challenges right now are really under a lot of pressure and so I spent a lot of time just trying to encourage these guys. Yeah, and it's just been one pressure cooker after another and allow conflict in churches whether we open or closed, or we have a hybrid situation deal where mass do not wear a mask neutral black lives matter in there and police and that whole movement and then we got the presidential election in there.

It's just brutal. Have you seen out from a pastoral perspective.

Are you dealing with conflict more now than you were in the past. Yes I think so. It's hard to say that because I was always doing with conflict. You almost every day in the life of a pastor were doing with some kind of conflict who could be on our own staff, but when you're dealing with people you're dealing with those sinners, we collide with each other and conflict can be a great opportunity for growth and so you know I get into that somewhat in the book, you will your you know your parents come to you with wicked problems you have small group conflict somebody's tree know if their neighbors treat the letter letting us know. Like we have all kinds of your various issues that were were trying to mediate conflict regularly, but I do think these societal issues that you've mentioned are our new in bringing unique challenges you even even more conflict. So how have order to talk about that for the rest of theology Thursday, but I do want to ask just in terms of a local church and dealing with a network of churches in dealing with Covan and all of these challenges. How is it been for them. I go day to deal with all of these structural changes in the environment that were in the season that were in house that house 2020 been to your church couldn't say enough good things about our church during this time feel like we remained united a few likely we grown spiritually. We've had our share of disagreements and that's that's that's fine.

Early on, I told our church. One of the greatest challenges were to happen.

The season is being unified and in the grand scheme of history, this little year will be a blip on the radar right and we have to keep in perspective. So let's not get disgruntled over a decision to meet on this Sunday, rather than the sun that you have this rule. Rather than this rule was to stay together give each other grace will get through this year and I arrived, I was quarantined two weeks before everyone else was because I just got back from France help and as soon as I landed. They said if you can buy from Europe you're 14 days in a foreign scene, so I feel like I was kind of got a jump on what I thought was going to happen and I could see some of this stuff that how people could be at odds with each other.

If we didn't all calm down and just put this in a in a historical and I think that's important and I haven't heard many people talking about that, whether it's inside the church outside the church. From a historical perspective certainly from an eternal perspective as well. This even be a blip on the radar screen in the new heavens and the new earth.

I think we can certainly look back at it and learn and glorify God through all of this, but we act like this is forever in this department situation it is and I think for all of us in the church. It's important to remember that because you actually don't need to die on the sill right and to remember that our great hope is not to return to normal payment, but the eschaton like when we returned to normal will still be death close to be behind you and your silly tragedies is duly conflict, but our hope is when Christ makes all things new. Amen. So what was kind of the impetus percent behind writing organic and a focus on this book that Tony put out not that long ago, Christ centered conflict resolution guide for turbulent times looking to trip the trigger and get this was written so like all my other books I didn't set out to write this book. I was asked to write the book I was actually working on another book. BNH called and said hey we would like a pastor to write a small book on conflict. Would you be interested in writing it, and we need it turned around immediately. We like to publish it immediately. There are a motive was we've got a lot of this was before all the societal unrest so you did not does not deal at all with some of the racial tensions were it was more of kids are in the homes are at each other's throats. You know the proximities creating conflict can you write something, there's a classic book called the peacemaker that's been used for years and I try to write a small little peacemaker book as well. One of our pastors are churches when you're in a conflict you don't want big book and you don't want a lot of steps and so I tried focus on the heart.

I tried to gather up all of the you know the relevant text in the in the Bible that speaks to this. You could just give to someone say haven read this you with your heart you pray and before we meet together and we deal with this conflict.

I want both of you. You have a look at this is hopefully a useful book for your own soul, but also if you're trying mediate, amen yes over to go through that when we come back and kinda look at the theology behind it. In terms of why it happens out of the honest conversation is terms of why does conflict happen.

James has obviously some things to say about that for the bigger trick is how you deal with it. How you deal with your conflict. I think that probably most of us.

I certainly myself tend to deal with it wrongly instead of rightly.

This is Steve Noble Tony Morita will be right back. You know the it's almost like sometimes her love languages argument because it is love each other but it was when there is when there's a conflict.

Yes, glad you know it's it's always you raise your voice and gets very energetic and it's very emotional can be very hurtful and then later we apologize we make of my my darling wife.

My incredible loving husband and everything's fine, but never really kinda it just wasn't a great model. So to me that the way that you push through a situation is you just overpower raise your voice and I like the guy that doesn't have a muffler in my car so maybe that's why I'm in radio. I don't know but I just never.

It took a while for Christ to get all that now would not I would not have guessed you to be a flight person.

Yeah, this is the most people are our worship pastor likes conflict.

You know he's one of those guys and I will call you when you say you love him and I reside or should I write to a disagreement with the radio funny guy never got that will go back and sleep doesn't happen like a long time are you and I are having such a great conversation that were blasting through content were actually back on the radio did know we are back and reassess all things live radio but were back on the radio were talking about that Christ centered conflict resolution. It is theology Thursday. I probably should've told you that about a minute and half ago. But anyway grace and mercy. Get over it were in a move on, but that were talking about conflict and we were talking about you just heard. As I just didn't know you heard us cannot fight or flight in my natural inclination is you lean into it when you get into conflict. Most people don't like you are saying are to flight they they leave but but let's go back up a little bit and you were talking about the cravings and things that that driver conflicts let's start there theologically. Why do we get an conflict in some of us more than others. Yeah, I think we could back it all the way up to Genesis and if you look at conflict with in the grand narrative it's it's it's pretty enlightening and also hope giving so that the fall in Genesis 3, God says you guys are going to be at odds with each other. You have an enemy. And then she's going to desire to rule over you. Your desire to dominate her, etc. and then in chapter 4, you see a brother killing another brother.

So one of the consequences of the fall is conflict so we should never be surprised by it's the result of a fallen world, but were also promise in Genesis 31 is going to crush the head of the serpent right and Paul makes that really interesting statement in Romans 16 that the God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.

That one day conflict will be no more, that Christ who has Artie defeated the enemy at the cross will then do vanquish our defeated foe once and for all and usher in total shalom total peace right so there is there's a conflict of their sin. There is the promise throughout June. The Old Testament of this this one is going to come and bring peace. Jesus reconciles us to God.

He reconciles us to one another and this is how we live in unity and harmony by the Holy Spirit by the fruit of the spirit displaying those fruits and then we we look forward to the day in which Jesus is going to come in and you know make all things new one. The normal policewoman won't need to lock our door. Yes nothing, it's just going to be harmony. Until then, we we have to pursue these things and so James tells us as a result of living in this fallen world, that he says why do you guys have quarrels and fights among you. He says it's because your passions are at war within you, and so it's the first chapter in the book is about how cravings underlie our conflicts in OMB.

We know this and just experientially if I don't get what I want. I take it out, which is exactly what James is saying exactly fighting a quarrel because you don't give a July sewing to boil it all down.

So that's the question I think in a conflict and ended the tendency is to me. Look at the other person rather own heart right so this book talks a lot about.

Look at the epilogue in your own eye first. But ask yourself those hard questions. What is it that I want what is it that I would be willing to even send to get you know, like and there you will start to find really the issue that that's generating some of the cochlea. Do you think I based on in obviously understanding Genesis in the fall. We know what's coming out there in the future that one day while total harmony will total shalom. The BP still be abundance enemies of the goal. So in the meantime were just stuck in a cow, Patty, and it's just gonna be crappy and working to get a lot of stuff on us and this just an abuse problem. So my question is Tony do you think maybe we set the bar too low skill. Hey, this is just a way that is where fight a lot of conflict. Just know that I love you you love me we love the Lord and and eventually this will be the deal, but because I wanted to get into this as well so do we set the bar too low and then do we look at this as an opportunity as opposed to just something to survive.

I think we should look at is an opportunity and I think we have to elevate the importance of peacemaking feline relationally. This is just been lost in discipleship discipleship is become about you know your quiet time church attendance, all of which are important your giving but if I am not at peace with another brother or sister but that's a problem and when you read the Beatitudes. For example, Jesus says that Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the sons of God like the way we just we show up show that we belong to God.

One of the ways by being a peacemaker. That's a big deal to Jesus. That's a big deal and I think James of several commentators have pointed this out. James 313 to 18. James unpacks what being a peacemaker looks like that and that paragraph borrowing from his half-brother's sermon. He goes ahead and expounds it for them and gives us, the qualities of a peacemaker and how we are to cultivate this piece.

I think one. We just need to elevate the importance of that that this really does matter. This is an opportunity to grow to glorify God. We like to grow in other ways to grow through conflict and what I mean by grow is if I'm at odds with you. I probably got some cravings have some some sinful inclination some idle I need to deal with that and if I deal with that and I can come to peace with my brother I will of grown and he will of grown I will have a chance to display the gospel you so. The only good things can come in a conflict. I know people get crushed by. I know sometimes reconciliation is not going to happen and that's why I like Paul's qualifier in in Romans 12 he says, if at all possible.

As far as it depends on you that you live peaceably with all so doing we can write and realizing it's not always going to happen yeah I think that's that's a very sober minded reminder that we all need that in going to get you if you try to live at peace with everyone here. Your responsibility is to do it. As far as it depends on you. So if you want to the end of your rope and trying to achieve peace but yet there is not God like anyone holding you accountable for what you do is I can hold you accountable for what they do. But back to what you're saying. I think this is so important that I think by definition if you have a lot of conflict in your life.

That's a direct reflection on your site patient and I think a lot of times will sit there don't know I just have a lot of jerks in my life. I actually think I'm growing a lot. I'm just around the wrong people, but should we kinda go right to the mirror first and assume if I just have to ask yourself that question, do I have a lot of personality conflict interpersonal conflict in my life. If the answer is yes, then I by definition your problem is that isn't too far.

What I think what I would say that is coming finger on the right train of thought I would go to that list. In James three Jean James talks about the qualities of a peacemaker being being gentle and ask yourself the question with people who know you say that your agenda suggest forming a warm, gracious person can go to the rest of the list and I think you could really go by looking at you that that's not sitting well with me that this gentle, gracious person, noble, loving, loud, gentle, old, gracious and always courageous question because I don't know know back in the last three looks awesome I love that does a lot of fun for me as well.

Talking to Patrick Tony Marita Dr. Marita degrees, you have no for just when I thought I was getting somewhere. I don't I have diving undergrad have a message that says nothing about my IQ things that I appreciate that self-deprecating humor talking to Tony today, Christ centered conflict resolution. A great book. I saw it quit working people get a copy of it is what's easiest things that Amazon is being eight how they like three dollars on Amazon Kindle and lifeways like $5.06 dollars. If you live in the Triangle area you come to our church, one for five Telus real quick about the day because it's been cool to watch God work there.

Yes, so we started modern-day church September 11 will be nine years, so weekly open the doors. 9/11 actually started on 9/11. So were were going on nine years old and we've bounced around various locations found a permanent church building that we are able to buy by God's grace I was bragging as that happened.

Yeah, I love it. I hope to stay there now preach 60 through 32 books of the Bible nine years, so that's my goal was to reach the whole Bible is it is.

It's starting a church pastoring a church in the senior leader and senior teaching pastor. Is it all you expected to be. Is it is it harder about what you expected easier and no studies are.

That's a stupid point.

But what's it been like for you to experience. I really do love the ministry I love pastoring a modern-day. It doesn't feel like work and it's largely also because of the people I work with that I see every day so I out.

I wish everybody could say that and I'm not presuming it will always be like that. This current situation.

I'm happy that's awesome and I what's a website if they want to find out more IDC so we went with this Latin name were not Latin Camargo day which means image of God. So just want to convey this idea that everyone that's created by God is made in his image and worthy of value dignity love from the womb to the tomb so I was just trying to level people. That's awesome. And then how are you guys meeting right now in the mystic over the millennia back our conflict resolution.

Even though I bring up culvert and that's can create conflict, but are you guys doing church right now. It's an opportunity for us yes email. Thank you. So we did entirely online for a season and the last eight weeks we've had kind of gathering so certain numbers of people could come starting this particular Sunday will have outdoor services with no RSVP required on our baseball field and 5 PM will require an RSVP on the facemask elected. So what do you say to all of us non-pastors about dealing with our pastors in the midst of this crazy difficult season, because I know you guys are in a really tough spot.

Yeah, I think just being gracious understanding. In many ways it's a no-win scenario for some of these decisions and some of the issues that are going on and I think if your pastor is trying to teach the Bible and he loves you, then give him the benefit of the doubt and support. We were so quick to shoot first and ask questions later, and that we need to remember that thinks that that I appreciate the encouragement that challenge consulates finish up talking about why we get into conflict and then he got a great kinda guy here in the blood.

Christ centered conflict resolution that will help us to move forward as we seek to read not just resolve conflicts but coming forward to move higher out of a conflict only go back this notion for anybody misted about our cravings and what leads us and that because oftentimes I think of first thing we do is pointer finger and we look at the other person but we always have to deal with our own cravings and our own motives because oftentimes I think we leave that out of the conversation. When that should be the first thing we deal.

Can we just send this off the air that he listen. The Lord doesn't want your offering. If you got unresolved conflict you're walking. I mean, just imagine us if you get a bunch unresolved conflicts, and you walk up to the pulpit this Sunday with your nice big fat donation rate you're going to tithe and then some enemies looking at that big bad check and he says no, no. Set it down, get out of the building because you got this person, this person, this person the of unresolved conflict with. It seems that the Lord pieces a big deal yes you just look at the sermon on the mountains remarkable in those few chapters, how often he talks about forgiveness and anger in the passage you just mentioned like relationships really matter to Jesus. So I think what comes to cravings.

One of the things that we have to remember is that this is a Christ centered conflict resolution books was not about conflict. It's about Christ and it's about our hearts and how our affections for Jesus affects everything in our life.

Like if I really adore Jesus. I will want to submit to his word.

I will, it will change the way I handle money in it and deal with relationships and everything else if my heart is cold toward Christ and distant.

It's going to make me a relationally difficult person right so we got a deal with our hearts and we often want to make conflict resolution all about skills or communication and that's all fine and good to have those discussions but it's more about being simple and skillful. That's where conflict usually live so it is in our hearts yeah and so because as sinners we want to blame shift often we don't want to look at our own hearts in a conflict and it might very well be that other person is the one who's sure sure, we should at least do our own self-examination. You search me oh God and see if there's any wicked way in me, and the only thing we have to lose is the sin that might be there and doing not a bad thing. So let's do that, you know, that's awesome I love that. So let let's get you can have these 5M's because your Southern Baptists and we do alliteration by merely seven barely breathe well is only valid. The notion that the future so I'm medium a reform center systems can stop. Myself five M's first, let me first. Is there log in my eye which is kind of what were talking about, but that's in terms of resolution.

We should always start their absolutely and that's that's a hard one, and to get someone if you're mediating a conflict in their the one they think of it that that's been wronged when you tell them first. You deal with your own heart will be made be offended, sure, and I understand that but I'm sin still you you need to start there and that'll be for your own good and what that will do. Can Sandy brings us out in peacemaker is you might actually discover something in your heart. That's not good and if you go in with the disposition of going apologize for whatever I've done. It's amazing the kind of reaction then you get from the other person rather than going in defensive, rather than the going in us, you know, assaulting you're actually going in.

You know what I probably was wrong in doing this it's it's that grace that gentleness of a peacemaker of being the first one to apologize that can go a long way in healing relationship and I think in our constant culture being a peacemaker.

I think oftentimes look at that and go on their wimpy, or they're afraid of the fight. Are there free to speak their mind.

I think it's on 34 seek peace and pursue it. It's a big deal go. Blessed are the peacemakers, yeah. But do you actually long for peace and the relationships that you have all of you share an example about using any any names or anything, but in the last 48 hours. I did something that I think put somebody on the spot a little bit publicly.

When I left that environment.

I felt horrible about it. So then I turned around by email and just that. Hey I think is what I think I did. Please forgive me. I think they had a bad result in them before. Maybe 10 years ago. I don't know. That would've been on my radar but I wanted to make sure even though this person said answering nothing and their response was very grace filled in like I didn't really think anything of it at all. I think the point is that that we need to be on the on the lookout for peace in your radar needs to become a sensitive academic sense.

Absolute absolute guy always says been a pastor of a need to to apologize a lot I need to go around saying thank you to a lot of people and apologized a lot of pecan as a parent as well. That way on a run around and worry about the.

The overall opinions of my kids but I think we probably owe a lot more apologies that give and I don't mean like I don't need to do those things insincerely.

I need to do the Cearley and I think what you do when you do that as you begin to create a culture where people apologize each other and quickly think you exactly yeah that's beautiful art minor.

The next one which this almost never happens in social media when you actually can I overlook this offense. So how do you kinda do that. Yeah so I love the proverb ties what is the glory of the King to overlook an offense is a glorious things over looking for Jeff and a week. It doesn't mean you know we sweeps and under the rug that can all of a lot of this can be used the wrong way. In terms of abuse are low section at the end on abuse like that.

This is not in that category.

I'm talking about a minor offense where it may be related to preferences or something. That's not sinful or something. That's not regular like with this in your regular thing that happened just chill man overlook. It had a bad day yeah this is really good for parenting and this is why was originally asked to write this book is I posted a picture long time ago and we adopted our kids of the young peacemaker and had a great little diagram I was working through with the kids at the table like a broken but kids overlooking offense note trying to teach them to know and that's a tough one. That's a really tough one yeah because they you know it doesn't take as long as this questions on my glasses that you have younger sibling Alexander is it okay that what age did you start teaching them to steal and be selfish and and as to say no in question authority over and and what were some your techniques and are all looking at me like I've got three heads right might even have to teach a mini dig. No, that's just there as part of the DNA unfortunately comes out, but I think that's a check that's a challenging one because I think the culture the right. The left social media in the church in the church we have a service when you don't have service right yeah those minor things are these issues of sin, you know, people gracefully to be people of grace that you do not have to nor should you die on every single hell. But oftentimes that's how we spend our days died in every single helping the people of peace need to change that paradigm. This is Steve Noble talking to Pastor Tony Marita from the modern-day church or involving theology Thursday Dr. Tony Marita here today. Am I going to church. The senior pastor, founding pastor here in Raleigh, North Carolina, and other stuff. I mean what Gospel coalition acts 29 are still about. Thankfully, all the world and not just a domestically around the around the globe sell agreement of God. A great family man let's do a show we have done in a while on adoption adoption apology is only a call and generally have a phrase for edible coat working out phrenology and such will the new science of good stuff. So were talking today about not just conflict. How we get into it but how do we get out of it in. Is that all were trying to do is just survive the conflict get back to some level of detente and move on from there.

We were just talking Arcana working our way to these five ends me.

First is our log in my I got a start there than minor can I overlook this offense and then major. Okay this is when things get, they need a little bit more of a process there's restoration that needs to be there.

This isn't something that's just going to valuate a bad little interaction over dinner.

You kinda move on and in oftentimes let me just say will nothing about minor they will move on can overlook the offense with our kids. Like if you say the following to our kids to finish the line I'll say sometimes the most Christlike thing you can do is in the altar and say shut up, do you say shut up it's always been in my class that is been in my class. Sometimes, most right thinking you can do is shut up you don't always need to speak you don't always need to engage.

You don't always need to follow the line of conflict. You can just walk away and being a peacemaker seek it and pursue it means it active in every day you actually should have a desire. Your craving should change from my way to the Lord's way and actually want peace in my life.

Not that that means overlooking sin, which he made that perfectly clear.

But I would. I'm ago after having a peaceful existence of my life and my relationships. But when it comes to something major. This is really difficult. I got really broken relationship and there's a process involved but what's the difference in a major one and one is maybe not so big deal so II think again minor you're looking at categories like is this sinful is this regular thing, and if it's not then I'm going overlook that major. This is clearly a violation of Scripture. This is brought hurt to people, including yourself, and it has to be dealt with. So best, Matthew 18, at least the first step of going to the brother, sister. That's because the offense that's the Galatians 61B seeking restoration gently and it may involve even bringing in other people in on the on the process.

Yet somehow how do we know when we need help. When can we handle it on her own goods were mature followers of Jesus Christ and when do we actually need some outside help how we can determine that. Well I think often we need help. It doesn't always need to be a big dramatic ordeal. You may not meet a pastor or a you later. Being in biblical community is really important and it's important for these things. Like you may be able to talk through some of this stuff with your small group. I mean sometimes that's that the help you need is some brothers and sisters encourage you to give you some wisdom. Praying for you, and you down. You know, is duly strained. The gossip world there if I'm having a conflict somebody else.

I think we deftly can I think I would just be guarded as to maybe information sharing and with who you sharing it with you.

Yeah, I think that that's difficult one.

This this is going to require some awkward conversations and we set it IDC through the years, we will be a church of awkward conversation and then you don't have them, but you need to have them and I just find that Jesus shows up in these moments, and we experience you notice his presence and because he this is his work. He loves to reconcile Jesus's work on the cross was a reconcile all things to himself. So Jesus is about reconciliation and social surprises that he shows a younger try to do the work. Should we slow down because my I think a lot of people don't. Never let the sun go down on your anger, so you're in a deal everything before you go to bed and to force a resolution. When I think sometimes it's is it okay to push back on the table and take a little time. The I think some things simply do take time.

It takes process. I think what you don't want the sun to go down on is is going to bed without dealing with your heart that you may not have be able to deal with the person issue, but you're trying to to gospel yourself and your heart in a good place yeah and then from major you got this next one with similar material that sometimes this process. Restoration can require something more than I'm sorry. I would speed together. If this is the classic my neighbor's tree fell on my fence tell me you know if you actually had to deal with stuff like that to conflict resolution inside the church. That's material is actually a check need to be written or something needs to be repaired. We do that you It's not as common. I think that's more kind of civil issues that were that the just coming into play. But exactly as you know, who became a Christian and Vince is out not just go apologize. The guys I want to give him four times what I'm going to pay back so that there's there's often some material restitution. These take place and then the final limits is mediator do do I need to bring someone in I think a good biblical example of that is in Philippians 4 false talks about unity and syndicate and he says my dear companion doesn't say the person they moved that companion is help these women to help them agree in the Lord. Yeah. So even in the early church in the church in Philippi was one of Paul's favorites and called it in chapter 41.

His joy and crown and into and 36 minaret hearts of each other, so that's encouraging actually like when you hear people today say man. I just wish we could get back to the church in the first century I'm like to have you read the such a pretty picture now on that note what what we do and we see other people in conflict and they're not resolving conflict because we can be busybodies and we know bit being a busybody is simple but what about when we see conflict in other relationships.

Do we have a responsibility as Christians to try to intervene that the Paul is a okay somebody got help. These two women out how we can mess with that because I think I can be a real challenge.

I think it is a challenge. I think you want to avoid being a meddler as peters calls it in first Peter four where your you're, going where you don't belong sticking your nose in places, but if you have a relationship with a person who's a Christian, and outside of your church and you know they're in a conflict I think is just Christian brotherhood. You know I'm in a church planting network. For example, and of I've had to mediate conflicts with brothers on the other side of the world who have a conflict with someone in in their life and so II think.

Do we have the relational capital and inner credibility to be there rather than going where we don't go right right you nose doesn't belong everywhere, but it does belong somewhere and so then again, I think that's concentric circles. Your realm of responsibility. The Catholic Church teaches us well in terms of ethics or ear held far more responsible for the things that are closer to you than things that are further away. So especially if it's somebody that's close to Yosemite in your small group summary.

They actually have a good relationship with you, then I think you have the coinage to do that to give the request of the relational coinage to get in there but we should get asked permission, I would think you hate can I may, I but at some point, where do we go to an outside source, like vomit all right at this point you need to call Tony a note telling that everybody but if you're a modern-day maybe. But where do we kind of how we can engage that when I I got up just put my hand up and say were not getting anywhere and I need to ask for help.

I think if if I if there's an issue between me and another person. Maybe I've offended them or I in it, whether that was true or not, you know there's there's conflict there and I can't resolve it in week we can't we can't get to a place of harmony then I'm probably going to need to bring someone in the accessible because it enters not just wanting to coexist with a person what we want harmony.

We don't want to just just not have the absence of strife, but likely we want to be together and in the gospel and admission and unfortunately there's a lot of tribalism today. There's a lot of division and conflict between various Christian groups and churches want so I think one of the most beautiful things you can do in today's culture, to bear witness to Jesus Christ is to be a peacemaker because it's so in short supply today say in the environment that were in and that's where I kind wanted to finish in terms of conflict resolution in the gospel or evangelism itself.

I can't. It hasn't existed in our lifetime where where the entire countries been engulfed by this much conflict, and then, especially in social media where people are seeing us dive right in. I had a Dr. Michael Brown on the show the other day talking about a book that is written about evangelicals at a crossroads and honey deal with the whole Trump thing is is listen. You can support from and you don't act like okay right now I think we need to be more opportunistic evangelistic legal and this this country so divided that we need to fight even harder for unity where we can inside the church, or at least in how we resolve our conflicts to show people there's another way is not just the left leg is not the right way.

There's actually his way and a higher way and I just think we need to be more IAD's the word opportunistic but I think that's what we need to be thinking right now.

Everything about times in which Christianity exploded. It really exploded in a lot of dark times.

You know in first century. Peters writing to Christians are ostracized, marginalized, insulted, but he tells them to go about doing good. He says it over and over like be known for honor be known for doing good you look at the Reformation dark time. You know so we can really shine in darkness and I think is we need to review some of the classic passages about how we bear witness and a lot of it has to do with these virtues that we been talking about don't know.

You are my disciples about how you love your children or of first Peter, let them see the reason for the hope within you like be a person of hope today that's rare. Joy is attractive because it's rare gentleness is unusual you layer all of these virtues got a really shine in these these times. Now he said I go ask an old-fashioned no yes. But no, it's not old-fashioned.

It's timeless and it's godly and again I know like Catherine on Facebook lives just put the word intentional scumbag I say opportunistic but intentional I think is a great word right now absolutely final word of encouragement for all of us that struggle with conflict will good news is the Prince of peace is with us he's with us in our conflict resolution. We don't God such a good reminder. Thanks for being there so much that I will do it again and we'll talk about close word I got wrong adoption. I think that will giggle your wife, and to do that we can do that altogether. That would be wonderful to have such a great ministry in that direction. Everybody will be back tomorrow is to be a lot to talk about probably trumps to me the content tomorrow night. That should be interesting. As always, this is see note on the seat so God will talk to you real soon and always is

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