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REShow: David Cross - Hour 3

The Rich Eisen Show / Rich Eisen
The Truth Network Radio
February 21, 2023 3:35 pm

REShow: David Cross - Hour 3

The Rich Eisen Show / Rich Eisen

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February 21, 2023 3:35 pm

Rich lists his ‘Top 5 NFL Offseason Storylines’ including Aaron Rodgers, the QB carousel, possible big trades, Lamar Jackson, the NFL Draft & more.

Actor/comedian David Cross joins Rich in-studio to discuss his new ‘Worst Dad in the World’ comedy tour, his love of the Red Sox and Atlanta Braves, and dishes the dirt on meeting Bob Odenkirk for the first time, ‘Arrested Development,’ and auditioning for the lead roles in ‘Breaking Bad’ and ‘House’ in a round of ‘Celebrity True or False.’ 

Jets fan Rich weighs in on the possibility of free agent QB Derek Carr to New York instead of Aaron Rodgers, Jimmy Garoppolo or sticking with former #2 overall pick Zach Wilson.

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Oh my God, you guys are my favorites. This is the Rich Eisen Show. The one and only Rich Eisen. I know what I'm talking about.

That's the headline. Live from the Rich Eisen Show studio in Los Angeles. This stupid rule that you fumble the ball into the end zone, you lose possession, and the defense gets it.

The XFL and the USFL. Now you fumble through the end zone, you get the ball back on offense at the spot of where you fumbled it. Earlier on the show, NFL Network insider Tom Pelissero, quarterback consultant Jordan Palmer. Coming up, actor and comedian David Cross. And now, it's Rich Eisen. Ah yes, our number three of the Rich Eisen Show is on the air.

844-204-RICH is the number to dial right here on the program. Great chats earlier with Tom Pelissero of NFL Network. And Jordan Palmer was calling in from the practice field where he was working out some of the top prospects entering the draft. Will Levitz of Kentucky said he was getting out of his 40 stance as he was on the phone with us. Hendon Hooker is also one of his guys. I love what we're talking about.

He's a QB consultant. It's coming, man. I'm on a plane for the combine a week from today. And if you missed any of it, it re-airs right here on the Roku Channel, Channel 210. Also, there's our podcast through the Cumulus Podcast Network. All podcasts can be acquired wherever you get them. You just find us and hit the subscribe button in the Rich Eisen Show podcast version.

We greatly appreciate it. And we love our relationship with the Roku and the Roku Channel. It's free on all Roku devices.

Select Samsung Smart TV. It's free on Amazon Fire TV. Free on the Roku app.

It's free on the internet tubes, therokuchannel.com. One of my favorites, I don't believe I've ever met him, but he's going to be here in studio. David Cross is coming here. His show with Bob Odenkirk, Mr. Show with Bob and David, ran from 95 to 98 on HBO. This is when, you know, The Sopranos was on, right? Yeah, Sopranos, I think, started in January of 99. So The Sopranos was on right after the show ended? The HBO heydays, man.

Home run after home run. So David Cross is coming out here. Worst Daddy in the World Tour.

New 40 City Spring Tour. And as you know, I'm the best dad ever. So it's going to be on and cracking when he comes out here. We also have a great celebrity, true or false, about his career from Mr. Show, as well as his time on Arrested Development. That's coming up here on the program. We've already, as I said, had a great conversation about what's next, what's coming up next in the world of the NFL. And in that regard, I need a little bit of house music, Mike, if you don't mind. Oh, house? Oh, I mean. I like that.

But this is my world of house music. Top five storylines entering the 2023 NFL offseason. As you know, at the NFL Network, we don't call it the offseason. We call it the non-playing season because there's lots of action that happens. Friend Jordan Palmer back here on the show.

Number five on the list. This is every year. But this year in particular, where it does appear, you could name half the league and their quarterback is either not going to be their quarterback next year or is possible that it's not going to be next year or it's entirely possible they trade the guy. So the quarterback carousel of 2023 is just remarkable. I mean, you know, where's Baker Mayfield going to wind up? Where's Ryan Tannehill winding up? Where's Jimmy G winding up? Where's Derek Carr winding up?

Those are just the four faces we have on our Roku channel screen right now. Is Tannehill definitely not going to be there? Is that just a big rumor? You have no idea. Who might just say, you know what, we're not going to go with this guy anymore because Aaron Rodgers is coming. Or we're not going to go with this guy anymore because we drafted the kid last two years and we're going to use him now. Or we're going to draft one this year and we're going for it. We fall in love with somebody at the combine.

We fall in love with somebody at their pro day and we're going for it. There are only a handful of sacred quarterback cows in the NFL right now due to contract or due to their relationship with the team and their city or the fact that they've won. The quarterback carousel is going to spin off its axis this year.

And I know I feel like I say it every year. But this year in particular, half the league could potentially change their quarterbacks and we wouldn't bat an eye over it. Number four on this list is which major player could get traded? Is Jalen Ramsey on the trading block? Are they possibly going to cut him? The cut thing is what I heard. Aaron Rodgers, we all know, is potentially going to be traded. DeAndre Hopkins made googly eyes at the Chiefs. Why would they hold on to him if you can get draft capital for him right now and you feel like your team and your opportunity to win this year might be compromised because your franchise quarterback isn't going to be available until the middle of the season? I'm hearing Cameron Jordan's name being mentioned because the Saints are totally cap-strung and he might be made available. Last year, it was the hell going on month of March. We even heard that tweet actually get Stefan Diggs' voice.

What the hell going on? He put that voice to it at this year's Super Bowl. We might get the sequel. Last year, it was Tyreek Hill on the radar screen and February 21st is getting traded. Who's that going to be? Am I reading the chart?

That's right. Number three is Aaron Rodgers' latest career decision. For a guy who probably chafed under Favre in a way that we still don't know, he's turning into Favre but with a lot less drama.

Again, A, you could say whatever you – Maybe more drama. I don't know, man. I don't know. Don't forget Favre retired then unretired after they announced they were turning to Aaron Rodgers, and that was after we were wondering is he going to move on or not for years before that. Let's not forget how off the rails Favre – Now, Favre wasn't going on some streaming talk show saying things outside of the realm of sports in the manner that Rodgers is. But again, in Green Bay, that doesn't affect his status, we don't think, unless that's part of the reason why Bob McGinn says they're done with him.

I don't know. But his latest career decision, is he playing or not? Then if he's playing, is he staying or not? And if he's not staying, then where's he going? Because where he goes affects that entire quarterback carousel that we said in number five. And who might get traded and who might not. Devonta Adams was the guy who got traded last year.

So all of these are kind of related to each other, but now number two. Lamar's franchise money tree. Lamar's money tree. Yeah, I said it.

I know you're looking at me like, where did I get that from? Lamar Jackson, not Kendrick. But Lamar's franchise money tree. Are they going to franchise tag him in Baltimore? And if they do, is it the non-exclusive? By non-exclusive, that means he can go around and find another deal somewhere. And if they match it, he stays.

So he gets what he wants, he stays. If he gets what he wants somewhere else and he says, I don't want to stay here anymore, they get two number ones. Now the issue with that is, if you don't have a number one in this year's draft, you can't talk to him at all in his non-exclusive franchise tender.

You have to have two ones in consecutive years starting this year and next. So I guess if the Dolphins love him so much, the problem is they don't have a one this year. They flipped it for Bradley Chubb after getting it back. So they'd have to get another number one. Or Lamar would have to wait to talk to the Dolphins after the draft.

Now the problem with that is, is the Ravens would probably want to cash in their ones right now. Be that as it may, it's a big decision. Are they going to franchise him or not?

Is he going to sign long term or not? Because that, to me, is the most fascinating quarterback storyline, with all due respect to Aaron Rodgers, in terms of possible players. Well, that's not true. There's number one on the list.

How about that for a little rope-a-dope setting it up? Number one on the list here is, what are the Bears going to do with their number one overall pick? Period. End of story. All you Bears fans out there that got upset with me for asking Justin Fields to his face at the Super Bowl, are you prepared to have your status as the starting quarterback of the Chicago Bears question? Because all that's happened since this moment, since that moment, has been nothing but conjecture about it. Nothing but conjecture about it. And as a matter of fact, Mike, if you wouldn't mind dipping the music, this is the conversation that is 1000% the number one storyline going into the offseason, which is why I asked it of him, because I knew the Bears would be questioned about what they're going to do with the number one overall pick, and that means his status as the starting quarterback would be questioned. Have at it. Are you ready for people to start questioning whether you're the quarterback of the Chicago Bears next week?

I think they've already been saying that. How I look at it is just controlling the controllables. No matter what happens with me, I can control what I can control, and that's how I approach the game, that's how I train for the game, and how I carry myself within the game. It's just those three aspects to where I just have to look myself in the mirror and say, what can I control, and if it is what it is, just move on and be the best quarterback I can be. Now is the time where I've been trying to grow personally, spiritually as a quarterback, so I've grown a lot these past few weeks in the offseason. There you have it. There you have it.

It's the number one story, and it's not going to end. You're already hearing Bryce Young compare to Mahomes, C.J. Stroud, right? The Cowboys, apparently, are intrigued by him.

Well, if they're intrigued by him, guess where they've got to go to go get him to make sure they get him. Top five. Number one. I don't think that's good. Stroud? If you want C.J. Stroud, you can't sit there at three. You can't call the Cardinals and say, let's go there, and be guaranteed to get him. Texans aren't dropping out.

Who's looking to drop out of the top five? Say, come get him. You love him so much, come get him. If you love him so much, I'm telling everybody, this is the number one story going into the offseason. I told it to you the minute the Bears were the first overall pick, because it changes the fortunes of the Bears franchise, and whoever else wants to go up and get the guy that they want, because I believe this is all one big rope-a-dope, one big fake, that they want to keep Fields, but they've got to make it look like they're not going to be so into him anymore. You want Young, you want Stroud.

If you are so hell-bent on him, there's one spot where you can be guaranteed to get him. Number one overall. And that's my top five. Do you think we need one more? All right, we'll get one more. And there's one more here.

I can't wait to see how this plays out. It's not at the top of everybody's, it's not Einstein. Is he going to do it? I'm not going to do it, although he did appear during the Einstein character. I know that you literally just said it's not Einstein, but until the graphic pops up, I believe it's Einstein.

Brilliant! Hey, Giamatti's Einstein popped up during the NBA All-Star Game broadcast. I know. He's not, he's not going anywhere. Seth Meyers popped up. You know, Verizon's got money.

I thought it was Gavin Newsom at first. Yeah, what's going on? The one more is, what will the Sean Payton Broncos look like? Oh, okay.

Phew, an actual topic. You brought me back in. What will they look like? I think they're going to be good, man.

I know that, but I need to see what they're, how they're going to build it. What receivers might they add to the mix? What running backs will they make? I know Sean Payton might get in there and say, make his own evaluation and say, that guy's gone, that guy's gone. And you'll be like, what do you mean? Then he brings in his guy and that guy. Does Sean show up with his own Louis bags, Rick? I can't, I can't. It's like the other, yes, Colorado-based coach, yes sir. Or his own bags.

I don't know. Tim Patrick's coming back. That was kind of a big blow last year. I can't wait to see what, what, how he's, he's back, man.

He's back in the NFL and he's large and he is in charge. And I can't wait to see what, what they're doing roster building between now and the draft. I look forward to it. Yeah.

But I don't think that's maybe a top of mind for a lot of people, but I'm, I'm, I'm going to have a nice little front row seat for that. And now we're kaput. Kaput. Top five storylines entering the 2012 NFL off season. You wonder if any Saints players might make that trip with them too, right? Brother? Yeah, I don't know. Yo, good call. I don't know.

I do not know. So it's one of those things I'm going to keep my eye on. No doubt. David Cross, let's bring this gentleman out here. His new tour, Worst Daddy in the World Tour, a 40 city spring North American theater tour. He's out here to promote it.

That's next right here on the Rich Eisen Show, 844-204-RICH, number to dial. Men, do you get distracted during the day thinking about your underarms sweating, itching, or emitting an odor? Do those thoughts keep you from showing care when it counts? Buy new and improved Dove Men Plus Care antiperspirant with 72-hour sweat and odor protection and one-quarter moisturizing cream helps you forget about your underarms so you can be present for the moments that matter. Don't let underarm insecurities keep you at arm's distance from the ones you care about.

Buy new and improved Dove Men Plus Care antiperspirant wherever personal care products are sold. For decades, Rolling Stone has set the bar for entertainment publications. Today, Rolling Stone Music Now takes over in podcast form.

SZA. You seem like a person with a pretty high level of anxiety, but you also seem fearless artistically. I feel like ideas have more power than identity. Like the excitement overrides insecurity.

That is the only way that I'm ever able to accomplish anything. Rolling Stone Music Now, wherever you listen. David Cross here on the Rich Eyes and Show with our Terrestrial Radio audience returning. And for those who are listening right now, you missed David referring to the Yankees in such a way that means you don't like the New York Yankees. It's because you're from Georgia, right?

Is that your roots? Yes, I'm originally from Georgia, but I lived in Boston. I moved to Boston when I was 19 to go to school but then dropped out immediately but stayed there for nine years. And always was a huge baseball fan, but then just being able to walk and go to Fenway Park became a huge Boston fan. That's my guy Brockman over there and who introduced himself as being from Maine, but that's the Red Sox honk over there. Yeah, I get it. So you still root for the Red Sox now?

I do, yeah. It'll be interesting if there's ever a Braves-Red Sox World Series. I don't know what I'd do.

Okay, what would you do? Let's hash it out. I would probably go Braves. So are you like a Dale Murphy guy from your day?

Oh yeah, yeah. Did I hit the right generation of you growing up there in the ATL? There was the, what was it, 82 when they won the NL East and they got swept by the St. Louis Cardinals in three games. But that was the, I used to be able to name every single player.

And in fact, in different shows and movies that I've written and created, I've put most of the infield. I've got Lemke and Blauser were the name of two cops in a movie I did. I've had a lot of, Pascual Perez was in. Pascual Perez.

I have forgotten his name. That was a big deal. And I was at the Braves game in 95 when they won the World Series. The last game at the old park, the old stadium.

I took my sister there. And yeah, we're both big Atlanta sports fans. Joe Torre was the manager of those Braves back in the day.

Yeah, that's right. Of the Yankees now that you have known. That was the year, I think the same year or maybe the year before, where Gene Garber... Gene Garber! Struck out, what's, you know, I'm spacing on Pete Rose.

Pete Rose. To end his, yeah, I think it was Gene Garber. Gene Garber. If I'm not going to say, are you going with a Gene Garber look with the beard right now? That was not intentional.

Not intentional. I'm going for Al Hrabowski, the Mad Hungarian. One of the pullouts of old. Oh, I remember. I think he still, I think he calls Cardinals games now, Al Hrabowski.

Does he really? Yeah, remember that act that he had before? Oh yeah.

Can you imagine like the age of Twitter and everything now? Oh yeah. If there was a guy who before each pitch just psyched himself up in some sort of Mad Hungarian way.

Mad Hungarian, Al Hrabowski. Oh my gosh. And then, I mean, keeping in line with this day and age kind of thing, but there used to be a guy, and don't forget, the Braves sucked for a long, long, long, long time. I mean, they were terrible. But they had, in some of the seats where clearly they didn't have enough people to film, but they had a teepee and they had a guy named Chief Nakahoma.

Of course. I remember Chief. And Chief Nakahoma would come out in the full dress.

I'm sure some mishmash of like 12 different Native American tribal outfits. But then he'd come out and he would do like a dance, like a rain dance but for to get a home run. It wasn't animatronic, it was a real dude.

Now we have the freeze, right? That guy dressed in a full body stocking right now trying to run people down in the outfield. David Cross here on the Rich Eisen Show, worst daddy in the world tour. Okay, so what makes you the worst daddy in the world, David? Look, I had no idea I was even in the running. My daughter submitted me. Every year they do the worst daddy in the world and it's done out of Oslo in Norway.

This is a real thing. And you have to submit a DNA sample, you have to, there's like three days of intensive questioning and trial and error type of thing. And then you go, I think two years ago was Jeff Bezos' plane, whatever that thing is, SpaceX, or no, that's the other guy, Blue, so you have to orbit the Earth for 24 hours and they hook you up to all these machines.

And then eventually it comes down to top 10, top 5, top 3 and then I was announced. It's in tandem with the Nobel Peace Prize and yeah, I was officially the worst daddy in the world. I did not know that. So what was John Blue like, David? I was sedated. I was heavily sedated. So I didn't really, it was very surreal. I didn't really remember.

I tried to take some pictures, but it's all just sort of, you know, dark. So why would your daughter decide to put you up for such an award, David? You know, you have to ask her that. I disagree with her. I will tell her.

Vigorously, vehemently? Yeah, I'll tell her like, I think I'm one of the best daddies in the world. You know, I go through a list of all the things I do for her and I go out of my way. And you know, she's five, so she doesn't see it the same way I do. It's difficult to reason with a five-year-old. Yeah.

They don't, logic doesn't, they don't get it. And they're emotional creatures. Yeah. Very narcissistic if you really want to boil it down.

They're very, very self-centered. Yeah. You know, yeah.

I cannot get her to sacrifice a thing. Understood. I totally get that. For my sleep, for, it's, to be all kidding aside, it's like the, there's not a ton of like, there's very little jokes and bits about being a dad or my kid, there's some, but it's mostly my other stuff that I think that some people who would disagree with me would say, you're a terrible person to be a father.

How dare you have a child in this world? So that's sort of where it comes from. Well, everybody check out officialdavidcross.com for dates. And there'll be more coming too. We have the first leg, there's going to be two or three legs to the tour, including Canada and Europe and that stuff that's not on there currently, and the rest of America. Portland, Oregon and Seattle, Washington coming up next week, Vogue Theater in Vancouver, British Columbia before starting, hopping off to Albany, New York. Again, that's just the first couple of dates in March, additional dates. Check it out.

Officialdavidcross.com. It's kind of neat that you're on technically a call-in show because this show is live and it's not pre-taped. I think, you know. That's why I can't swear. I know. Well, that's probably part of that.

I learned that the hard way. And I'm referring to one of the Mr. Show bits back in the day. Oh, yes.

I'm sorry. I'm terrible at getting... The references?

That always happens. You didn't get that? People... I did not get it. Okay. I was sly about it. People will give me references all the time and I have no clue and then they have to go, it's from your stand-up album. Yeah. What gives, man?

I thought for sure you'd be like, oh, yes, I know what you're saying. But the bit or the sketch, if you will. Pre-taped call-in show. Pre-taped call-in show, where you played the host of a call-in show and you had to remind everybody that this is pre-taped. And call in about a different top of the topic. We filmed this already. We're not talking about satellite radio.

We're talking about catalytic converters. Where does that come from? That came from just listening to talk shows? That was Dino Stamatopoulos came up with that one. He was a writer-producer on the show. And that was one of his, I think, he wrote two of the more famous sketches, more well known sketches. And I think both of them came from when he was in, at least one of them, when he was in Joshua Tree tripping on acid with a friend, Brent Forster, another great comedy writer. That did not seem like the pre-taped talk show, like something that was done sober.

That was Dino tripping on acid. Gave us that. Yeah. Where you just got upset with people calling in about a topic that was the previous week.

Yeah. It makes no sense. It makes absolutely no sense.

It makes absolutely no sense. And then you pull over a television set to show what had happened in the previous week. And it turns into sort of like an Escher painting, where you go inside. It goes in, yeah, telescopes. I also noticed that as you pull over the television set, this was last week, this is what you should need to be calling in this week.

You have more hair with each passing one, as if you were losing your hair over the whole concept of doing- Or pulling my hair out. Yeah. There you go. Pretty much. See, I caught it.

I got it. Yeah. Sort of. Sort of.

No, I didn't. Well, you said losing your hair. And I would... losing your hair, to me, connotes that you are balding.

Yes. But as opposed to actively- Pulling it out. Pulling it out. Well, I mean, I'm part of the bald brotherhood, so there we are. I'm wearing my hat because I have to have so much powder and anti-shine. I didn't want to bankrupt your makeup department. I appreciate that. You're very giving.

David Cross here on The Rich Eisen Show. We have a segment, if you don't mind playing along, called Celebrity True or False. Okay.

Where we've read from articles written about you or interviews that you've had, and we just want to see what's true or what's not true on the internet. Now, am I supposed to remember? Yeah, you're going to have to. Because I lie a lot. I constantly lie. You're going to have to. You're going to have to. When I have to do press or interviews, I'm... you know, the thing about the worst... I just make it up.

Sorry, there's an S word. Let's go to Celebrity True or False. Hit it. Hit it.

Hit it. We have a great production value. Celebrity True or False. Hollywood. That's like Hollywood. That's like the Hollywood sign. Look, I love it.

Old school Hollywood. And the letters are like the Hollywood sign. I love it.

See, you're picking up what we're putting down. Great font. David Cross here. Great font, Rich. Thank you, David. I appreciate that.

I walk in every day saying, I hope our guests compliment us on our fonts. David Cross, first up for you, true or false, you were introduced to Bob Odenkirk, who you did Mr. Show with for many, many years, by Janine Garofalo, who tried to set you guys up with a pickup basketball game, but Bob slammed the door in your face when you attempted to hook up with a basketball game with him. Almost all of that is true, except there was a screen... this is in like the Melrose area. You know, those kind of... those houses in there. Yeah, here in Los Angeles.

In LA. Yeah. And it was... he had the screen door open, and he was watching TV, and his chair was like... the TV was here, his chair was here, and the door was over there. And I'm standing there like an idiot with a basketball, and like Janine's like my mommy, you know. And I was visiting, and she's like, oh, you know, and I played basketball, and she's like, oh, my friend.

And he was... it's better to hear him tell it, because he remembers it clearly and remembers being such a douche, but he's like... and Janine's like, hey, my friend David's here. This is through the open screen door. And you know... and you know, wanted to play basketball or something, and he just sort of turned around and went, oh, no, I'm good, and then went back to... like didn't come over, didn't say hi. I didn't open the door.

Are you serious? That's how you got introduced to Bob Otenkirk. That was it. And so when did you see him again after that?

So then shortly after that, I want to say, let's say, six months, maybe slightly longer. I got hired to be a... it might have been actually a year later, but I got hired to write on the Ben Stiller Show as a mid-season writer replacement. They brought me in like halfway through. I was in Boston at the time. And then I came out, had never done anything remotely like that.

Writing on television. Hadn't lived in LA. It was a completely different experience. And I didn't know anybody except Janine.

I'd met Ben through Janine briefly. And Bob, again, you hear him tell it too, because he was not nice to me at all. So I was the new guy, and I had my ideas about comedy, and he had his ideas, and I was... I mean, I really was... it was fish out of water. I didn't know what to do.

My self-esteem was like rocketing up and down, plummeting on an hourly basis. Like, is this... am I good? Am I funny? I don't know.

I don't know. And he was... I think he sensed that, and he kind of exploited that. He was not... yeah, he wasn't pleasant. So if I came up to you at that point in time, say the two of you were going to have a hit show on HBO together for a three-year run, you'd say, get out of here?

I would say, get out of here. That guy? You know. No.

I don't think so. What ended up clicking between the two of you? Well, we had tons of mutual friends, and there was actually a party.

And I should say this, let's say this is the first month of working. He eventually kind of warmed up and came around. Well, I mean, if you're doing a show together at some point.

And also, I wrote a sketch called The Legend of TJ O'Pooter Toots, and he asked me to... he cleared it with Ben, but put in a part that wasn't there initially for his then-girlfriend who wanted to be an actress. And I was like, sure. And I think that kind of helped out a bit. But we had... you know, again, it's softening...

I'm talking about the first two, three, four weeks. And when I really could have used anybody to go like, hey, buddy, here's how things work, but he was not great at all. And then, you know, we had all these mutual friends, and he was funny, and he came to see that I was funny.

And there's a performance aspect to it that you don't necessarily see if you're in a writer's room. But we were at a party at a mutual friend's house, Janine was there, a lot of comics in the scene back then, and musicians. We were at this party, and we were in the kitchen, and we started riffing what eventually became a sketch on Mr. Show about, I don't know what we called it, but it was like the infomercial thing where Bob played the British pan guy.

It was pan, kiss the pan, where it just goes off in these crazy, absurd things where he's beating Jill Talley with the pan, and then he goes to fly, takes her, and he's flying away. And it was a bizarre early sketch of ours. But you connected eventually. We totally connected. When that happened, we were riffing with each other and going, taking this idea in this crazy place. It's one of those things that's very rare, but when it happens, it happens, and you intuitively know, like, oh, this guy is special.

It's almost like an old married, and we are like an old married couple right now, you know, where we can finish each other's sentences, and when we work together, we can steer an idea in a certain direction. But that was the first time that kind of like, oh, wow, we just created this really funny thing. Imagine if he said yes to the basketball game to begin with. You could have just skipped right to the successful part. We would have Mr. Show going a lot earlier. My career would be, you know, I would have been a younger, oh my gosh, I would have gotten laid so much. David Cross here, celebrity, true or false.

Next one. True or false, Fox executives wanted you to shave off your mustache before Arrested Development started filming. Is that true or false?

That's false, but you're in the right area. What it was was I had this very specific idea of what Tobias looked like and what he was, and part of it was I wanted him to have a mustache. And I was, and I didn't have anything, so it would have been prosthetics, I believe. But we were getting ready to shoot the pilot.

It's probably 6 a.m., which means, you know, I've been up since 4.30, 4.45, and, you know, getting to set and gone through wardrobe. And then this woman, who was a producer, came over and said, Gail, Gail Berman, Gail Berman doesn't want you to have a mustache. I was like, why? She has three rules for comedy for men.

No, I remember this vividly, no mustaches, no hats, and no puffy shirts. And I'm not in a good mood, I'm kind of tired, I'm a little cranky, and now somebody's telling me this absurd illogical thing, and they couldn't, it was too early in the morning, she wasn't up yet, her phone was off, so I couldn't call her. We couldn't go, what are you talking, what, why, where did this, where are the three rules of comedy for, what, this is insane. And I didn't react well. And, and they ended up calling a woman named Tracy Katsky, who I was friendly with, who was working just underneath Gail, who signed off on it. So we got, so that, Tobias almost wasn't, didn't have a mustache. That wouldn't have been a totally different character.

Completely different. Next one, in real life, David Cross, you auditioned for the role of House that went to Hugh Laurie, but later on the Arrested Development creators tried to get you a cameo on House, but as Tobias Funke, and the House creative team nuked that idea, is that true or a story? You know what, I have heard so many variations of that, I don't, I truly don't know. And that would have been behind the scenes at Arrested, I'm sure they, at some point, Mitch would have gone, hey, what about this idea? And I never said no to a Mitch Hurwitz idea, I'd be like, great, you know. But is it true you did audition for House to begin with, or no?

That probably is true. I know I got, I got relatively close, and again, relatively, not like it wasn't between me and the final person, but I know I was considered and got past a couple levels for House and Breaking Bad, I had a really good audition for Breaking Bad. Really? For Walter White? Yeah, for Walter White, yeah. And can you imagine anybody else but Bryan Cranston, I mean, it's impossible. No, I guess in retrospect, the fact that you and Odenkirk would have wound up working together again. Oh, crazy would.

But I mean, I wasn't like, again, it wasn't like between me and Bryan, I just got a couple, I got a few levels in where I was called back, and then I was starting that process, but there's still plenty of. But you're unaware that the creators of Arrested Development tried to get you as to bias on House. It totally makes sense. There are rock shows, right? Yes, that makes sense.

There is connective tissue. You know what? Oh, I know what it was. I bet they would have wanted Tobias to be an actor in the background, right? And I'm sure the House people are like, look, we're a serious show, we can't have your crazy fantasy world crash the reality of our fake show. Our fake show is grounded differently than your fake show.

That would have been amazing. Last one for you, true or false, David Cross, Tobias's famous never nude cut off jeans were bought by the Arrested Development costume design department in the women's section at Neiman Marcus. That cannot be true. I don't know, but there's no way. That's true or false. Apparently this is... Are you saying that's true? We're saying this is what has been put on the internet. That's why we're asking you about it.

Wait, say that again? That the costume department at Arrested Development bought your never nude cut off jeans in the women's section at Neiman Marcus. Oh, oh, initially. Oh, uh... You don't know the origin of these shorts?

No, why would I ever go like, you gotta tell me, is this farm to table? You gotta source this thing. Come on, I wanna see.

It's gotta be ethically sourced. So then I guess how was this idea placed in front of you for the never nude jean shorts? That was a Mitch thing. And apparently that is a real affliction that some people have that he read about, I believe. And it's the mind of Mitch Hurwitz. And you bought in? Why not?

You bought in. Oh, I never said no to a Mitch Hurwitz idea. Absolutely.

Whatever he wants, yeah. Was there ever an idea you had that they said, we can't try on Arrested Development? Anything like that? The only thing I didn't get to do was one stunt. I like to do all my own stunts on everything. Which is that one?

It's when he's dressed, covered in silver and diamonds, and he's stalking Lindsay. And then there's a truck that I'm hanging on the side of. And that's the one, they let me do all my other stunts. That's the one they wouldn't let me do.

They wouldn't, the box legal liability wouldn't let me do that, so they rigged a guy up. And who was the easiest to crack up on that set? Or that just broke?

Oh, that's a good, that's a good question. I was pretty easy to break, but I would say, maybe Will, I would say? He was easy to break.

And not that anybody was easy, and Bateman too sometimes. I'll tell you something, Rich, so there's a, I don't remember the episode, but there's a scene, it's a flashback. And Buster, Tony Hale, is playing the piano. I'm dancing in my shorts, and Will and Bateman are in the, it's in the Lucille penthouse, and they're on a table, and Will is cracking up, and that's, Will was literally really cracking up, could not stop laughing, they just used it. Because it's a quick shot, but as Tony and I are doing our stupid thing, he was cracking up for real.

It was real legit. Amazing. David Cross, great to see you here, thanks for coming on, The Worst Daddy in the World Tour, check it out, officialdavidcross.com. If you're in Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Albany, New York, over the next week, you can get to see him and go to. I'm gonna say, I think Portland and Seattle are sold out, so you'll have to wait.

Oh my goodness. I believe they're sold out. Okay.

I think there's still tickets for Vancouver. There you go. And stuff's selling out, so yeah, go ahead. Okay, very good. And congratulations on these shows being sold out, brother. Thank you.

That's good. David Cross right here on The Rich Eisen Show will wrap up this show and set up the rest of the week in a moment. The Rich Eisen Show desk, furnished by Grainger. I'm sitting at it right now.

With supplies and solutions for every industry, Grainger is the right product for you. Call clickrainger.com or just stop by. I love how he has no idea where they got the never knew jean shorts. Can you ask if I, you know, I don't know. Where'd you get these?

I just want to know. Where'd you get them? Yeah, as they're handing you. Hey, you got to put these on.

Where'd you get these? Fun stuff right there with David Cross. Let me just finish up the show with this. I did get a lot of tweets over the weekend when David, when David Karp said what he had to say about his brother Derek and after Derek visited with the Jets and so it's been a couple of days. What do you think, Rich? I would be just fine with Derek Carr being the quarterback of the New York Jets. I would be happy with it. Well, hold on.

I would be happy with it. Are you just fine or are you happy? It's the same.

What do you mean? No. Just fine and happy are not the same. That's not the same. That's definitely the same. Then I would be happy.

Just like solid. I would be happy. Okay. Okay. I appreciate you calling that out. I don't like the word solid. You just solid- I would be just- Derek Carr going to the Jets.

I would be happy there. I don't believe we have scratched the ceiling, we've hit the ceiling of what Derek Carr can do. I just- Oh, interesting. I refuse to believe it. Guy's really talented.

He made mistakes there in Vegas and Oakland that were maddening. I called a couple of them. I called a couple of them on Christmas Eve night in Pittsburgh, but I'm not an all 22 guy. I'm not as involved as this or that. I just kind of love the chip on his shoulder. Who's got a chip on their shoulder currently right now on that quarterback carousel? Quite like him. I kind of dig it.

I think him going to New York and running that locker room and being that guy that he was in Vegas, the leader of that locker room, calling people out on occasion. I think dovetails with some of the guys that the Jets have in that locker room already. Can you dig it? I can. I can.

I can. You know, my only issue with it is you'd be paying somebody 40 million a year and it would be closing the door on Zach Wilson. And I know that I'm not making a lot of sense to Jets fans when I say that. I just don't, because the alternative would be, as I'm sounding all this out here. The alternative would be that the Jets was wrong on Zach Wilson.

And the alternative would be going and running it back with him. Now, do I want that? I know you're shaking your head no, but- Not if you want to compete for a Super Bowl. But I think when it's all said and done, and I know it's nuts. Give him one last shot here. The window is so small for winning year to year. You're willing to waste a whole another year possibly? I'm not willing to waste it. I'm not willing to. I'm willing to risk it. But how short is the leash? I don't know. A month?

He's one and three and it's over? You sign somebody who's a veteran that you can go to. But they have to be okay being the backup going into the season. I understand that.

I don't know. I was so in the moment just angry that the Jets missed on a quarterback. But I can't sit here and say that I'm ready to just turn the page and I know that's nuts. So if they decide Derek Carr is the guy, I will be happy with it.

I will be. And I feel like he's the one out of everybody that's available that fits best what they're doing. Leader in the locker room, young, new spot, chip on the shoulder.

Okay. Rodgers comes with a Hall of Fame resume and potential Hall of Fame game, but all sorts of stuff that I feel would be in New York City a misfit. Derek Carr, 32 next month.

Right. And who else is available out there? Jimmy G would be a good fit too, obviously, if you're talking about a 49ers background, just like the head coach. But Derek Carr doesn't miss games like Jimmy G. But going in his direction means you're done with Zach. You close the door on Zach. Zach is your backup unless Derek gets hurt, unless somebody wants to trade for him. And then you get something for your nothing that you got out of two years of a number two overall pick, giving you hardly a thing.

I don't know. I think when it's the end of the day, if you run it back with Zach one more time, I know Jets fans are hearing this, probably thinking you're nuts, but kid, he's still a puppy. A puppy with two different head coaches in his first two years. Which is why he needs to learn behind a veteran. I know, but if Derek Carr is coming in at that freight, I mean, it's over. Unless you give Carr like, what, a two, three year deal and he learns behind and then you're not gonna give him a fifth year option and pay him that money to be a backup after going into year five, this is what the Jets have to figure out. So I'll be happy with Derek Carr, but part of me still can't turn the page from Zach and I'm wondering if they feel the same way. Who's Mike White fitting into this?

Dallas who drafted him. We need a backup. Or a starter. Nah, I think we're good there. We're out of time, huh?

I think we're good there and you know that. You love Lala Kent on Vanderpump Rules, now get to know her on Give Them Lala. With her assistant Jess, LA, it can become suffocating. Did something happen where you felt like I have to get out of here or do you just think it just happens sometimes? I think it just happens, but also just everything going on in my personal life. Like I want to get on this mic and be like, this is what I've been dealing with for 14 months. Give Them Lala wherever you listen.
Whisper: medium.en / 2023-02-21 17:06:23 / 2023-02-21 17:26:15 / 20

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