If we knew more about our sleep, What would we do differently? Would we go to bed at a consistent time or take steps to reduce interruptions to our sleep? with sleep score. Apple Watch measures your bedtime consistency, interruptions, and sleep duration. Then, every morning it combines these factors into an easy to understand score from 1 to 100.
So you'll know how to take the quality of your sleep from okay to. Very high. Know your sleep score. With Apple Watch. iPhone 11 or later required.
Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities, so do like I did and have one of your assistants' assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do at mintmobile.com/slash switch. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan equivalent to $15 per month required.
Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. Feeful terms at mintmobile.com. This is the Rich Eisen Show. Hey, everybody. Can't get enough of the Rich Eisen Show?
You're in luck. You can find us everywhere. Watch us weekdays on Disney Plus from noon to 3 Eastern. Miss the show? We've got a podcast, so you can listen anytime.
But here's the best part: our YouTube channel. Subscribe at youtube.com/slash rich Eisen Show and you'll never miss a moment.
Now, on with the show. This is the Rich Eisen Show. Kirk Cousins is signing with the Raiders. You get a veteran to be in the room with this kid. Today's guests, actor Jane Kesmerek, six-time MLS champion Landon Donovan, 13-year NBA veteran Jalen Rose, five-time NHL All-Star Chris Pronger.
And now, it's Rich Eisen. All right, everybody. Welcome to this edition of the Rich Eisen Show here on this Friday of Women's March Madness Final Four in Phoenix, Arizona here. On the outset of the men's final four in Indianapolis on Saturday. Lots to discuss in the baseball world, the NBA world.
And of course, it's a what's more likely Friday with not one, not two, but three in-studio guests. Jane Kazmarek is in our green room right now. Malcolm in the middle is back. Um after A decade plus of being gone. It's now back for four episodes on Hulu.
And she is going to be joining us in studio to kick off our number one. And then Landon Donovan will join us. And then Chris Pronger will join us as Hall of Famers just keep on strolling in here. Jalen Rose in the middle to talk about that men's march madness. And there's our phone lines at 844-204-Rich.
The number to dial to have a conversation with us. Hello, Christopher Brockman. Good to see you, sir. Rich, what's up, my man? Good to see you.
Jason Keller, good to see you, sir. Good to see you, TJ Jefferson. Is the candle lit over there? It is lit. And in the words of Anigo Montoya.
Yeah. Hello. Very good. Nice t-shirt right there that you got. Just describe that for the radio audience.
Princess Bride style. Very good. I don't also say that for the next three hours to kick off the show to say prepare to die, but you know, hopefully this show will be very good for all involved. Looking for a man with six fingers. Won't that be great?
Wow. All right. Anybody bought their peanuts? The man who normally would cover Phezik just dropped that to start the program. Listen, um The uh folks down the street are neighbors.
Like to be good neighbors, right? Yeah. Like to be good To the folks who are in your neighborhood, we always tell our friends with the Chargers: come on across the street whenever you want. You know, come on by. They're already out on the coast.
Right here. Uh, down the street. Our neighbors? Are also the Los Angeles Lakers. Listen, just describe you'd leave our studio.
You hang uh uh left. Then a right, And you keep walking. Bucks and you run into the Los Angeles Lakers.
Now, of course, if anybody knows Los Angeles. Anybody nationally knows Los Angeles. All of our Los Angeles listeners know. And not walking anywhere. And that could take 20 minutes.
Please. Even if you drove walking? Get out of here. But the reason I bring this up is our neighbors down the street are very nervous right now. Very concerned and nervous right now.
About Last night, being a total unmitigated disaster for the Los Angeles Lakers, who went 15-2 in the month of March, and the Western Conference player of the. month of March, helping them to that 15-inch record in March. Luka Doncic, 37.5 points per game in March. Averaging eight rebounds, seven point four assists and two point three steals, easily the best player in the NBA in the month of March.
Now is in April and has a hamstring injury that's freaking everyone out and rightfully so. He goes down in Oklahoma City. in a game going into it. This game is hyped for potential Western Conference final preview. And with Luca.
being as red hot as there is, even Even SGA was Seeing that object appear closer in his rear view mirror for the MVP conversation. With another guy who was in Los Angeles last night, Victor Wembanyama, an Intuit Dome, showing off again. Him pounding the table. There's also Jokic lurking. For now, the fourth-seeded Denver Nuggets in the Western Conference, but Luca.
Second quarter goes down, grabs that left hamstring. We assume it's a re-aggravation. of what caused him to sit out the four games before the All-Star break. A hamstring injury that caused him to miss those four games before the All-Star break. And Maybe why he's wearing that sleeve.
Also Because he left the game and came back in. After injuring that hamstring? And he in the third quarter goes down in a heap. And he knows. He knows.
He not only knows about the hamstring injury, but he knows that there's five regular season games left in the Lakers' season. And he knows what's ahead of him. J.J. Reddick after the game on why he was reinserted. After he clearly tweaked the hammy in the first half, why did he come out?
in the second half only to come out again. We'll do an MRI tomorrow, left hamstring. We'll know more tomorrow. I don't know if you got to talk to Luca, but just kind of power his spirits if you were able to talk to him after he left. I haven't spoken d you know, other than words of encouragement.
Okay. Let me just read that here. Then said that the doctors Uh cleared him. that they talked to him at half time and decided this is They were going to handle their business. Uh quote.
We could see right here. Pardon me. Um He mentioned that um The doctors figured it out with Luca? We checked him out. He got work done.
He was cleared. I mean, again, we're not going to put a player at risk. End quote. That's what J.J. Raddick had to say.
And so now here we are. Here's the good news. The Los Angeles Lakers in their five remaining games. Have two teams. tanking.
Their first one at the Dallas Mavericks. And I guess for the Maverick's sake, they're going to be happy Luke is not out there. And then their last game of the season against the Utah Jazz, who I think are in their what, third consecutive year of tanking? Feels like that. They should come out like I'll make an eight.
an 80s political reference like Michael Dukakis. That's how long they were spending in a tank. Then they have Oklahoma City here in the downtown Hoops Dojo. Kill a new. Um And again, that's the thing, too.
Build as a potential Western Conference finals. As Austin Reeves said after the game, they beat the S out of us. 139.96 final. Shay With 28, 7 and 7. That was his stat line through three quarters.
While, by the way, in terms of Luka's MVP chances, He has 64 games played now, so he's now in the same thing as Cade Cunningham. Not enough. Which is Stupid. But the Lakers are one game in front of Denver, two and a half in front of Houston, and three and a half in front of Minnesota. for the third seed right now.
LeBron after the game on moving forward without Luca. For a Lakers team that, without Luca in 13 games this year. Seven and six. overall record. Nothing has changed.
We still will be. Obviously, be tested, obviously, with our, you know, with the head of the snake, obviously. Don't want to make no conclusions, but we see what happens with him. And then we'll go from there. Nothing is rattled.
It's one game. It's part of the NBA season. As defending champions, we get it. We understand.
So the good news, I guess, also is this hamstring injury occurs on the. 2nd of April, the Lakers, no matter how Poor they might finish record-wise, they are not going to be in any play-in tournament. For a change. Um On occasion, we know they have been in that. And The first possible first-round playoff game they could play in, the first possible date is April 18th.
So that's 16 days. of hamstring rehabilitation. But Luke has got to be sitting there going, Man. I did everything I had to do in the offseason to be better in shape going into the playoffs. through the crucible of a playing season.
And How many times have we seen him in the playoffs, right? Where he'll break down, he's got this injury, he's got that injury by the. If they're lucky enough to reach a Western Conference finals, he's a shadow of himself. Or he's fighting through something.
Now He's going to be going into the playoffs fighting through something. There's no doubt about it. It doesn't matter. Oh, it's less than you think. Hamstrings, man.
Are a fickle, fickle beast. Yeah, soft tissue. Certainly, since it's in your head, too, it's tough to get it out of your head. Man, I'm I I I understand it's 16 days and What's the worst they can be? Because again, they've got two games against two tanking teams.
Golden State as well. Tenth. And Phoenix Seventh. Two play-in teams, two tanking teams, and Oklahoma City.
So what? They go three and two. Two and three at the worst. They still probably would be hosting a team. in the first round at the very least.
So But Luca is going to be going in the playoffs, thinking about something, having something in the back of his head. And it's also going to be a hamstring injury that could, as you know, go at any time. Yeah, I mean, look, obviously sucks. You don't want anyone to get injured, but tough to find sympathy from me and TJ. No, I understand.
I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm just, I'm just. I mean, it seems like you're, you know, I'm not. I'm just a die-hard liquor fan these days. Oh, I'm tough to, like, you know.
What am I supposed to say? It's the way it is, man. I know, it's too bad. It's the truth. I, for the record, never want to see anyone get hurt.
Of course not. I might not like it. Of course not. But also, you know, Luca was on the cover of what? Men's health.
He's all rocked up. He's all going to be in shape, and this happens anyway. It sucks. Injuries are fluke, man. They're they're fluke.
Your guy blew out his Achilles out of nowhere last year. Pretty awful. These things happen. And I felt for them too. I don't feel for somebody.
Chris.
Well, Brockman knows how I feel about Tatum, so I I was hurt. But I think the Lakers fans have an issue, Rich, when earlier you said he left and then he came back, and that's what I'm seeing. That a lot of the Lakers fans are like, well, why'd you let him back in? Why'd you let him back in? Obviously.
So that's where they're like losing it right now.
Well, I haven't heard from Laker Super fan OJJ yet today, but so if he's played 64 games, is he gonna not going to play the rest of the year? No way. Five games? I don't think so.
So now he can't be first team. That's correct. Can't be first team all NBA. That's right. Can't be any of that.
That's correct. Unless he has a season-ending injury, which apparently is. Categorized as keeping somebody out in this instance through May 31st if they play that long. It's so stupid. Let's just not tank.
How about that? Let's just be more responsible. Hmm. On that front, I don't want to hear it. The tanking stuff that you need to come up with this silly construct.
Let me read it to you. Let me actually read it to you. You say, you make it seem like if this is something fans can follow. All right. Because I'm reading from the ESPN article here.
About the time.com. The new anti-tanking proposal. There is an exception for players who reach 62 games and play at least 85% of their team's games at the time of a season-ending injury, but that would not apply to Donchich. He has played in 64 of the Lakers' 77 games, which is 83%. This is not even five.
It's 2% less, like milk. We, as fans, should be paying attention to this stuff or understanding or doing the math for ourselves. I can't do that.
Furthermore, wait a minute. Dantrich's hamstring injury would have to qualify as a season-ending injury in itself, as the CBA defines it. That would mean. It would have to be an injury that, in the opinion of a physician jointly selected by the NBA and Players Association. Makes it substantially more likely than not that the player would be unable to play through May 31st following the date of his injury.
Otherwise, it would simply be an injury. That happens to coincide with the end of the regular season, which is what appears to be the case with Donchich. Right now. Can you imagine you've got to come up with all of these constructs because players are tanking, or teams are tanking, or players are load managed? Yeah.
Oh, God. It's a shame because the NBA has a player like Donchich and a player like Kate Cunningham. I know. I know, and it's such a shame because I just want to watch basketball and enjoy it. Right.
Because it is a beautiful game. You know? And it is a great game.
Sometimes, yes. I know, but then but all of this stuff that you're twisting yourself in some collectively bargained pretzel because teams can't be trusted. to do what we grew up. Where players can't be trusted to do what we saw growing up, which is play ball.
So, what are you going to play in 15 minutes in the last game of the year? No, there's no way you're going to do anything like that. Just what versus individual achievement? But that kicks in a lot escalators. I understand that.
Like him not making all MBA could potentially be worth $15, $20, $30 million.
Well, back in the day, right, you just had to check into a game, right? You had to be there for the jump. Yeah, but I think they kind of come up with a chip.
So they have changed him. I'm just saying, back in the day, he could have just went out there for the tip. And be done. Time out and grout. Listen, what's this about?
It's about the Larry O'B. Is it not correct? It's about hoisting that trophy. And the best chance for the Lakers to hoist that trophy is to play like they did in March, where they won 15 of 17 games and they cracked a code of how to play with Luca at the front. And Austin Reeves as the Robin to that Batman, and LeBron just being the commissioner.
Gordon, sending up the signal or answering the you know, call himself. They figured that out.
Now we are here in April, and I understand you don't like the Lakers, and I know you don't like the Lakers, and I'm a Knick fan.
Okay, but this is a friggin' shame, man. It is. It is. Sorry to say it, you know. I like basketball played at the highest level, right?
Of course, you want to see Luca out there. I mean, Luca has proven over the last, what, five, six years, he's one of our best playoff performers. Right. You know, kind of when the money's on the line. And this was the year that all of his hard work in the summer was going to pay off in the spring, and instead, he popped.
We'll see what he does with his hamstring. Keep an eye out for the MRI, please.
So this looks like one of those things that It it me it If it's a two to four week thing. And it does better than not. then they're good. Because it's two weeks between now and the first day, 16 days. April 18th is the first first round possible date.
If they. Get a break, it would be what, April 19th.
So 17 days max between the time that we're seeing here on the screen, where he's back on his back, hands in his face, knowing exactly what's happened and know what's ahead. And not. But it might not matter anyway, because Oklahoma City did kick their ass last night when Luca was on the court without his hamstring being hurt. And then there's the the San Antonio wagon that pulled into Los Angeles into a dome last night.
So But The Lakers of March. Have now turned into the Lakers of April, and three days in. No bueno. 844-204-Rich, number to dial here on the program, Hockey Hall of Famer Chris Pronger.
Soccer legend Landon Donovan in studio. Jalen Rose, hour two. Jalen. You also have a what's more likely Fraud atop of hour number three. Our phone lines throughout 844-204-RICH.
Number to dial. but one of Wisconsin's finest. She told me in the green room that she's got In preparation, her favorite Packers of all time. Hey. All right.
Jane Kasmarick, Malcolm in the Middle is back. Malcolm in the Middle, Life's Still Unfair. Premieres on Hello, April 10th. Jane Kasmarick, when we come back in studio. Bump the bump.
The Rich Eisen Show Podcast. No one likes having to choose. That's why, with America's best lineup of hybrids from Hyundai, you get the best of both worlds: like the reliable and efficient Tucson hybrid with America's best warranty, or the stylish yet capable Santa Fe hybrid with the power to navigate the toughest terrain. It's like having your cake and eating it too, but you know. better.
Hybrids from Hyundai. It's the best of both worlds. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Yeah. Need parts fast?
O'Reilly Auto Parts has fast. Need them now? We've got now. No matter what you need, we have thousands of professional parts people doing their part to make sure you have it. We're O'Reilly fast.
Just one part that makes O'Reilly stand apart. The professional parts people. Oh, oh, oh.
Alright Lee Auto parts. Rich Eisen here. The April 15th tax deadline is coming fast, but don't worry. Hand off your taxes to a turbo tax expert today. You know how April feels.
Everything speeds up, games matter more, hoops and hockey schedules tighten, your phone won't stop buzzing. And somewhere in the middle of it all, there's that quiet little reminder. Taxes. You'll get to it tonight or tomorrow or after the weekend. And if you handle it the old way, you're refreshing your inbox like it's breaking news, waiting, wondering, hoping everything's squared away.
That's a lot of mental bandwidth. With Intuit TurboTax Expert Full Service, you can match with a dedicated expert who understands your specific tax situation and handles your taxes for you, start to finish. You can do it all online or meet in person at one of their new tech-enabled store locations. Have your tax forms imported directly into the app and hand everything off to your TurboTax expert. While they work to get you every dollar you deserve, you can go about your normal routine, giving you time back to focus on what actually deserves your attention, like rooting for your team to make the playoffs.
April 15th is not waiting, people. Visit turbo tax.com and hand off your taxes to a turbo tax expert today. Hulu back on The Rich Eisen Show is a radio and TV simulcast. Hulu's Malcolm in the Middle Life Still Unfair premieres April 10th as Malcolm in the Middle is back. 151 episodes in seven seasons back in the day, and it is back.
And Jane Kazmarik is here on The Rich Eisen Show. When you first heard this could come back, were you in disbelief, I'd imagine, or no? Or how long has this been in the process? Pasadena. I was ironing, which I love.
Ironing? Yes.
Okay. And my life is wonderful. I really put my career on the back burner after the show. The show ended. My marriage ended, and I wanted to just raise my kids.
Pasadena is a great place to live. I work with the public schools, the Pasadena Educational Foundation, the Interpreter of Music, and I have done a lot of theater there. I've worked five times now with Alfred Molina. Long day's journey tonight and theater, and have a wonderful, wonderful life. The kids went to college.
are all on their own. They're on their own now. These rumors started circulating.
Well, rumors had always been rife. Oh, there was going to be a reunion and stuff. Right. And I was like, no, no, no. And then Brian called and said, Just want to let you guys know.
We Linwood Boomer, who Is Malcolm who created the show? Right. Always said, I'm not going to do something unless there's a really good story. It's not like the family goes to Hawaii for Christmas. Yeah, like it's a great bunch, which your family would never be confused for, but it's okay.
I digress. Yeah. And I. And he said that Linwood's come up with an idea. And I thought, oh my God.
So Cranston was the one who called you up? Cranston, Brian. Friday is the remarkable humans. Yes.
He has not changed a whit since he was this kid in Canoga Park, California. You know, going to junior college and taking an acting class. I mean, he anyway, he Has gone on as I mean, Breaking Bad, best show ever on as far as I'm concerned. And he's gone to uh London. He works at the National Theater.
Eve Van Hove, who's arguably the greatest theater director of our generation, has twice now worked with Brian. And Suddenly, Brian's like, I really want to do a reunion. I want it. And we thought, We Wow. And I thought, you know what?
I think he's tired of killing people. I think he's tired. He just wants to go back to being able to kill me. He wants to be a hell. He wants to go back to being the doofy hell.
Yeah, yeah, sure. And we were like, great, he and Linwood, you know, put this together. And I'm sure because of Brian's incredible Respect and status, as you know, it was not a hard sell. Just look at that picture. You're back.
Like, you're back. You're the parents now in a certain time of your lives now. And it's amazing. It's like slipped and clearly it's. It was like no time had passed.
Based upon what you could see on the screen here, we were right back in it. We were right back in it. I mean, the opening scene in this reboot is me shaving his body, which I And he's not wearing a stitch. I've seen this. He has a little, well, what are they?
Privacy pouches? Privacy pouches. Anybody got one here? We're not aware of what you're talking about. Not at the moment.
There is no privacy. There's no privacy pouch for the Pironis disease. But you can see, he's like rave.
Well, I mean, he's been here multiple times, and I told you before, he's one of my favorite human beings as well. He told a story of the episode where he was wearing a bees suit. Or, like, where he's he's got thousands of pieces. He says 25 pounds a piece. Yes, what he was saying, and how one of them stung him.
in said spot. Oh, yes. He didn't tell me. Yes, and he's just sort of like, you know, oh, I kind of feel like, you know, I feel that. And somebody had to come with a card to take the the stinger.
He didn't get him on that one. Oh, yeah. Like, he, he, he. Because that's the beauty of this show is like There's nowhere that I don't think you won't go on Malcolm in the Middle, right? Like there's so much risk that you guys take sometimes for putting your characters in for the first time.
Brian was, you know, when they said, Brian, we're going to cover you with 25 pounds of bees. Right. Okay. Good idea. Right.
You know, and I said, what was the sting? He said, it wasn't so much. It was the weight and the sound. It was the the and I realized getting stung down there was what that was not the fear of, oh my God, I've got bees on me, but the weight of twenty five pounds of bees and that sound of it. Brian, oh my God, we're gonna cover you with blue paint on this episode, Brian, and you're gonna throw yourself up against a canvas.
We'll do it. I was so, I'm like, I think Lois would be sitting down in this scene. I think Lois might be on the couch in this scene. I was like the laziest. And it all started with, we came back at a water park episode.
I had just had my second baby, who I was pregnant with all during the first season of Malcolm. You know, I was 43. I gained weight, and you've got to be in a swimming suit at a water park. I was like, Oh my God, oh my God. And then they said, well, you know, we can get you a stand-in.
And I thought, What? There could be something to do. Right. Anytime I can't sit, she can do it. Pretty much.
This woman was magnificent, and she had just had, she just had twins. And I look, I said, You're in such great shape. She said she would do lunges, nursing. One lunge here. She'd lunge over here.
And I thought, you're a better man than I, Gungaden. I mean, I, so once I realized. I've never heard of that nursing-lunging combination before. Normally, you would separate those two. Oh, you know?
And by those two, I mean the processes. But once I realized they could have, there was a, so someone turns their sprinkler on. Yeah. Property line. You can't cross the property line.
You know, and then this woman turns the sprinkler on to. Get Lois. It was early in the morning. It was kind of cold. And I thought, do I really have to get wet?
Yeah. Could I maybe have my stand in? Ladies and gentlemen, and then bring her on and like soak her down. But Brian has got the bees and the paint and. Yeah.
Well, I always loved your interaction on Malcolm in the Middle between the two of you. Um, the scene where uh you're in the rain and you're yelling at him, saying, You've got to tell me why you love me and make a work and believe that. Remember that that was that's one of my favorite things in the entire 151 episodes. Why? Because it was so dire.
You know, that that show starts that episode is called Flashback. And it starts with the first kid being born, Francis. And, you know, you think of Melk, you think of the house we lived in. And Well, Francis, the first child, is coming home. We live in a white apartment.
It looks like Liberace lives there, you know, a white piano. White, white, white. We're beautifully dressed, coming home with this baby. and realize that we started out as a rather Successful couple. By the Francis is growing up, there's crayons on the wall.
This kid is out of his mind. Lois is folding socks. And then it's the n next kid. Lois is having Reese, I guess. Francis locks himself in the car.
She's trying to get to the hospital and Francis is in the car saying to her, Say you're poopy. Tell me, open up the car, I'm having a baby. You don't. And it goes through the birth of each of these children and how this Their finances Their sanity, real life stuff, trust. And finally, the little boy who was uh playing Malcolm.
In this in the flashback thing, says, I thought I was making something, but I guess I was making chlorine gas. And the house is, and we run outside, the whole family, and it's pouring rain. Yeah. Hal and Lois are just At the end of their ropes, Lois especially, and she goes into labor. And hell, I'm having a baby.
I know you're having a baby. It's pouring rain and saying, Okay, you have to tell me. Fought no s no ten. Things you love about me. Because we can't go on like this.
and they have to be good. And And it's this incredibly sincere and very funny. Very funny. Very fun one. And the cold, you know, they were like, we thought we could, you know, we thought we could put warm water on you, but we can't.
It was like, okay, so we're just like getting soaked with this cold, cold, and she's in labor. And These things, he says something like, I love the way. Every toe on your foot looks like it comes from somebody else's foot. But it's sincere. And she says, I love the way you still suck your gut every time I walk into a room.
I love the way And I loved doing it with Brian because we were very well connected as human beings and. Um And that writing was so unexpected. It was just beautiful and unexpected and real essence, I think, of of how um Just classic, that show was.
Well, I'm glad I brought it up because it's the truth. And you're back. Malcolm in the Middle, Life's Still Unfair, premieres April 10th on Hulu. And there's four episodes, and they're all dropped at the same time.
So you can binge and go back in time. Uh, on April 10th, uh, on Hulu on Disney Plus, and it's just so great to see you guys back. It just, you know, 2000 to 2006, and here it is, 2026. Those kids, we when we were in doing this, Brian said they're all fathers. Those children are like 40 with children.
And Brian said. They're the age we were when we started this. Wow. That's never going to happen to us, right? Real life stuff.
I know it. It was it was an amazing just and it was the same, you know, the writers were the same, the director was the s you know, it was uh exactly a reunion of of reunion.
Well, I mean. Speaking of reunions, do you see how I'm turning this, James? Yes.
Jane Casmerica. Thank you. That's what I do for a living: I pivot. Uh, are you guys aware of Jane's story? We don't usually go down the personal lane, but um, you want to talk about going back in time and reunions and things like that.
Um You recently got married last year? Is it last year? Don't mean it. Nine months ago. Nine months ago, okay.
And the gentleman you married you knew from high school, this is true. And you had a reunion, high school reunion, and you You married him? I read her I married him. I was so nuts about him in high school. He was this cocky tennis player, shaggy hair, cool, cool, cool, cool, cute.
Um And My best friend, Connie Coughlin, went with his best friend. Mike Cayati. She's now Connie Coglin Cayati. They've been married for 46 years. Say that 10 times.
And So the four of us would, you know, I would date Rusty, but I said I would always, I just always felt that I liked him so much more than he liked me. And I come home from dates and put on Linda Ronstadt, you know. Blue bayou. I'm going to love you for a long, long time. And I'd weep and think, oh, if only he'd like me as much.
Anyway. He was, he graduated high school in 71. I was 71. 72, 74. But my 50th reunion in 2024, Connie, said, Would you like to see Rusty again?
And I said, Oh, my God, I would love to see Rusty. He was newly divorced. I was divorced. The four of us went out again, and I brought along the ID bracelet he had given me from State Fair. Wow.
With his name engraved. And remember that you should have those electric like you know, engrave your name and things. And I still had that bracelet. And I said, look what I still have. And he said he thought, Oh my god, I might have a chance.
God, I thought. We had. It was wonderful. Then we started talking on the phone three hours every I couldn't believe how interesting he had become. He we loved John Updike.
We talked about authors. He's read Middlemarch. Who reads Middle March? I mean, I know it's a great book. I still haven't read Middlemarch.
Yes.
He loves musicals. He sang Surrey with the fringe on top from Oklahoma, verbatim. And that what he wants on his tombstone is a lyric from Surrey with the fringe on top. Don't you wish this could go on forever? Where I couldn't believe how dear he had become.
He raised his two children. They both have tattoos, R-L, his initials Rusty Long, on their legs because they admired, loved their dad so much raising him. I thought, Jesus, what happened to that kind of ass with the tennis racket? I thought, I can't believe this guy. And I.
It happened very quickly. We just. He, we're from, I say it's, we have the same DNA. We, Grew up, I took baton prilling lessons at Pinkala's bowling alley. He was born at the hospital next door.
Justina Klopolchensky, the piano teacher, was hit by a bus. in front of Pinkala's bowling alley. That sounds like an episode of Malcolm in the Middle, I'm not gonna lie to you. And Rusty was he knows Pinky's bowling. I mean but he he also surprised you on your wedding day with uh a particular musical selection.
Were there and a group of individuals? We sure did. Can you tell that story, please?
Well, I love classical music, and I found a string quartet. We were married in a barn in Sockville.
Okay. And we had a keg of spotted cow beer.
Okay. And good champagne. We had Walleye Pike and Bratwurst. People were coming from California, and I went in them to see what was great about Wisconsin in the summer. And The The string quartet finished, and we were all going up, and cocktails are beer starting.
And I hear coming up this path at this farm: Da da da da da da da da da da da da da. He hired the University of Wisconsin Marching Company. Oh, wow. to play on Wisconsin on who says romance is dead? A Big Ten fight song.
Yeah, we go. It was these guys. Oh my God. And I went to Madison. I mean, I loved that school.
Rusty's not an A-hole anymore. You get your back in college. What a big-hearted guy. 50-year high school reunion gets you back together. Malcolm in the middle is back.
You should play the Powerball, Jane. All within the school. Play the Powerball. That's figure it out. Do it.
Play the powerball and just put it on there. Watching the Packers again.
Okay. Because you back in Wisconsin You know, he gave me a Jordan love. t-shirt for Christmas. She's smitten. And we know.
Rusty is such, he knows exactly. Let's talk about love. Rusty. Rusty's Jordan Mickey. Micah.
Parsons. Parsons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jordan Love. Yeah, yeah.
Uh Ashwam Nixon.
Okay. The cachew? Keep going. Josh Jacobs. Josh Jacobs.
He can run it. And then some white guy from South Dakota, which describes half of the team. You're talking about Tucker Kraft. Tucker Kraft. Who's a fabulous?
Got injured. He did. And you know who they need to hang up by his ankles? That kicker! McMattis?
Why? Why? That last game against the ba Why would he missed after points? He missed feel. You would get a high school kid to do that.
Do you like the coach? He's a handsome devil. Matt LaFleur, he's, you know. I do.
Okay. I don't like the coach. who was the brewer coach and left them to go down to Chicago.
So we don't like him anymore either.
Okay. Didn't know what Craig Council was going to get some smoke today. Right. Didn't see any of this coming. Stray.
I didn't see that coming. But sports is, I mean, you guys do this all the time. We do. Yeah, we're lucky. And I think there's often an idea that, oh, they're like running into each other and they're, which I grew up with Vince Sombardi, you know, that area.
Sure, of course. Where that's kind of what you thought they did. Yeah. Richard, we were talking about this. I can't believe how smart those people are.
Yeah, they're fathers, they're. But they know, it's not like they go, hype, hype, hike, and then everybody just, you know, smashes heads. These. I said to Rusty, they have to really pay attention, don't they? Yes, they do.
We're going to run here, we're going to run over here. I'm like, how did they know?
So, Bart Starr was your guy? Yeah, I mean, those were the but football for people who. Pooh poo it. I mean there's All the banging and stuff like that. I have had this new appreciation of the incredible skill, timing, thinking, the intellectual prowess of these guys.
It's amazing. It is. Amazing. Yes.
And the guys who are the biggest, like offensive linemen, you think they're just, you know, dumb guys who just want to hit other people, they have to be the smartest. I have, right?
So it's pretty cool.
Sorry. No, it's all good. Malcolm in the Middle, Life's Still Unfair, premieres April 10th on Hulu. All four episodes drop. Go check it all out.
And they're all back. Everybody's back. And I really appreciate you coming here and sharing your personal life and all. Hanging out here. Musical memories of the.
Yeah. Well, what's your fight song at Michigan? It's called Hail to the Victors. Thanks. Rubbing in.
That's what it's called. Beat the Badger basketball team at that last pre-in the Big Ten tournament on the Buzzer Beater by Jaxel Lindenborg. That did happen. His name is Axel Lindenborg. Yaxel Lendeborg.
Y-A-X-E-L Lendeborg. Yes.
So I got to look him up. Yes, as your co-star in Malcolm in the Middle might say from another show, say his name. Jack Selindenberg. There you go, ladies. There you go.
Very good. But yes, it's great to see you, and it's great to see you in this, and it's great to have it. Back. And there's nothing like a great burst of nostalgia. And what you want to see is just as good as back in the day.
So, congrats on you. I thank you. I mean, I think that this, with everything going on, you know, in the world, it's just comforting to see the escapades of this group, which it was always a family show. I mean, what you're talking about with Hal and Lois, it was a great thing for adults to watch, but. You could watch it with your kids, which I don't I don't know of Any show now, I I don't uh that parents can really watch with their kids.
That is kind of entertaining to both. Absolutely. Uh especially if you give your kids forewarning that it starts with you shaving certain parts of Brian Cranston. Just give them a heads up. Good to see you.
My pleasure. Jane Kazmarik here on The Rich Eisen Show. Back to take your phone calls and more in a moment. The Rich Eisen Show, the podcast. Rich Eisen here.
Every time I travel for a major sports moment, whether it's a playoff run or a huge prime time matchup, I see firsthand what happens to a city. Hotels fill up fast, energy builds, everyone wants to be part of it.
Now, imagine that. On a global scale, the FIFA World Cup is coming this summer, people, and with it, thousands of fans traveling to host cities across the country. If you happen to live in one of those cities and you're planning to be away, maybe you've got your own summer trip lined up. This could be a practical opportunity. While you're gone, you could list your space on Airbnb and welcome traveling fans who want to experience the FIFA World Cup in person.
You're not changing your routine. You're not committing to anything year-round. You're simply making the most of a moment when your city is in the global spotlight. I know when I'm on the road for a huge event, having a comfortable home base makes all the difference. And that's what fans will be searching for.
If you've ever thought about listing your space, this summer is a great time as we welcome FIFA World Cup fans. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host. Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start? Thumbtack knows homes, so you don't have to.
Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin? Or what that clunking sound from your dryer is. With thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro. You just have to hire one. You can hire top-rated pros, see price estimates, and read reviews, all on the Thumbtac app.
Download today. Back here on our radio side of things, along with Disney Plus and ESPN, the app. We're so lucky, right? That we get to have interviews like that and then show Ryan Cranston was back in the day, which for a radio audience we just showed. to the T V audience when he talked about being stung where he got stung in that scene that we were just talking about with Jim Petersman.
Mm-hmm. It's great, man. Nostalgia, right? Go right down right down memory lane. Can't beat it.
Jane is awesome, too, by the way. She's talking. That was amazing. That was very fun. Shout out, Rusty.
Yeah, shout out, Rusty. Rusty. Back from 50 years gone. Holding it down. Right?
That person for you would be the one that owes the mentalist guest out of your brain, right? The second grade crush. Second grade, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That still is. We got to get him back here, teaching.
Just for you. We really don't. We don't. I know we do. I think we need to do it, and I'm not sure that's one of them.
We need an O'S break, to be honest. I don't need that in my life. Let's go to Terzo and Iowa, everybody. Terzo, all rise, calling in. How have you been, sir?
What's up, bud? Doing well, boys, doing well. Hey, Rich, I got a couple comments for you before I get to a question that I have for you and the guys. Uh with your Whole thing was going against Alcarez. Man, I think you got to let it go.
No. For one reason, for one reason only is you've been talking about what you're going to do to him. And he's going to know. He's going to know now. No, no, no, no.
Terzo. Terzo, come on. I think he doesn't know, though, with a lawyer. Terzo, Terzo, Terzo, Terzo, Turzo. If he knows going in, he's looking for it.
So he's thinking about something other than playing tennis. That's all you gotta. Come on, man. Mind games. I'm not playing two-dimensional chess.
I don't even know if we could figure out how many dimensions of my chess game I'd be playing with him. I would learn curse words in Spanish that I would come up with out of nowhere. You know, I would choose, I would tell him in advance, I'm choosing the surface. You know? He would not know what to do with the head games that I would be playing.
He's a kid. I'm a savvy veteran. He's vulnerable, too. He hasn't won. When's the last time he won?
When's the last time he won, Terzo? Tell me. It's been a couple months. I will just say this, Rich, is when you win as many majors as he has. Right.
I think he's, yeah. He's never been in a position where he cannot lose a point. Never. Ever. Think about that.
He can't hit it out. He can't hit the tape. He can't hit the net. He can't hit anything. And there here I am with all sorts of legroom, with all sorts of house money.
I'd put a if he thinks I'm going to hit this serve, he's not going to get it. What if I do return it? What if I did some miracle racket on it? Come on, Terzo. Believe.
Rich. Believe, Terzo. Believe. I want it to happen, and I just want to be in the front row with Brockman and have our popcorn ready. Fine.
Fine. It would be fine. I want an audience. He doesn't. Come on, it's all tilted in my favor except for the, you know, playing tennis thing.
Yeah. Well, if it happens, Rich, I would be more than happy to paint my face just to try and get in his head with you. That's it. See what I'm saying? See what I mean?
Who's this guy from Iowa? Yelling with his face painted like he's putty. And the giant dog. Yeah, the eight ball. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Like, let's go. Diamond eight ball. It would be just let just get in his skull. He doesn't know what would hit him.
You know? Thanks for the call, Terzo. Terzo's bringing up stuff that, yeah, you bet, man. Real quick question for you.
Well, I'm almost hold on. Stay on hold. We're getting up at the end of the hour here.
So just stay there. Don't worry. You got you, buddy. You got it. You see what I'm saying?
Yeah, I'm gonna I'm not giving this up. Not by it's a matter of fact, I'm gonna double down. Triple down. Landed Donovan's coming up. The Rich Eisen Show Podcast.
From 30 for 30 Podcasts. Did you say how I got shot? Brian Pata, senior defensive lineman from Miami. Gun down. The key to this case, it's Brian.
An hour before he died, he was on the phone arguing with Tabak. This might be a hit. You want the truth. They just want a conviction. Being placed under arrest.
We had a killer amongst us. Murderer you. Listen now.
