There Is A Time After Hours

Hello, this is Matt Slick from the Matt Slick Live Podcast, where I defend the Christian faith and lay out our foundations of the truth of God's Word. Your chosen Truth Network Podcast is starting in just a few seconds. Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening and for choosing the Truth Podcast Network.

This is the Truth Network. Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast. So, sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here, now.

Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours. We're glad that you're with us today and we have a interesting topic that we're talking about. It's kind of all over the place right now, and so we're going to continue that. But, Art, won't you tell us a little bit about your topic that we're talking about today? Okay, well, it's my fault. This is my topic.

We're blaming you. Okay. So, this idea came to me last week from listening to the song that Sam had submitted as his bump last week, as a topic last week. And what I got out of it was that the singer was just living in misery.

He didn't know who he'd be if he was happy, and he talks about being obsessed and stressed about little things. And it's been two years since he's talked to God and he's praying to God now, but it's been for two years he didn't. And, you know, the idea came to me, you know, how are we walking with God and working on our self-care and our own well-being and our health and happiness and well-being and spiritual well-being as well. And also this two-year time in absence that the singer experienced, that kind of struck me, too, as having a, introducing a time component to this topic.

As in, you know, we don't have a, our time here on earth is very short, and most of us guys here, we can feel comfortable measuring time and measuring our past in decades or even scores. So, that is the topic. What are we, how are we walking with God and working on self-care? And there is an immediacy to it.

Chris There is. So, you shared in the first show just a little bit about what you do outside of the studio to kind of take care of your heart. Do you want to share with that a little bit again there, Art? Do you spend some time with your two other favorite people or two other favorite creatures, I should say? Art Yeah, I was going to say I like to spend a lot of time with my dog, you know, the days are a lot shorter now. I come in earlier and I like to sit on the back porch with my dogs and maybe listen to some music. I mean, that is something that is time to myself, time to reflect on things, time to clear my mind of problems and cares and just to be closer to God. And that helps me and I would encourage anyone else, you know, whatever it is that you like to do to, you know, make time to do it, whether it is go fishing or whatever interest you may have. But do the things that you enjoy doing that help you and help you to heal and become a better person because soon we will be out of time here, essentially. Chris Yeah, we will be fertilizing daisies and that what Robin Williams said in the first clip from her, the clip from the last show, yeah.

Yeah, so we would be doing that. So Rodney, you actually have the first clip of the second show, so congratulations. You have moved up. Rodney Oh, boy.

I am really coming up there now. Yeah, you got Andy in and he bolted. Chris Yeah, well, I put him in so he would leave. He is not here to hear that. Rodney Exactly, he will hear it later.

Chris Yeah, he will hear it later. Rodney Yeah, I knew that I could find something from the Carol Burnett show and what, you know, they do that skit for mama's family. I knew I could find something on Eunice with self-care stuff because she is always, what about me, what about me and always arguing with mama. And I stumbled across a skit that I had not seen before called The Psychiatrist. I love to play the whole thing because it is just so hilarious. But what happens is that finally Eunice goes to see a psychiatrist. It is funny how Carol Burnett even introduces it on the show.

You know, it is like we finally did something we should have done a long time ago. We sent Eunice to the psychiatrist. And so this is her second visit. The first visit, basically the psychiatrist is saying, well, you need to get a job.

You know, you need to take control of your life and get a job. And she is back reporting that, oh, no, she really did not do anything on that. And he suggested, well, bring mama along. So in this session, mama is in the session for a long time. And then at the end, mama is all upset and says, I am not, this is stupid, I am getting out of here. So she walks out and then you have got this interaction where he is trying his last ditch effort to try to get Eunice to really focus and start to do some, I would say, self-care. So you can go ahead and play it.

Now listen, I have a newsflash for you. It is not that old bag out there that you are having trouble with. It is Eunice. You are furious with Eunice because Eunice never finished anything that she started. It is time for you to take charge of your own life, Eunice. I could, I could if she just allowed me to breathe once in a while, but mama won't. Just forget mama. We do not care what mama don't allow.

We are going to take charge of our own life anyhow. Work on your own self-esteem, all right? Listen, listen. Hey, I am okay. Hey, I like me.

What? You say it. Hey, I am okay. Hey, I like me. I cannot say that because I am not okay.

I never have liked me. Just say it. Say, I am okay. Say it and it will be true. I promise you, Eunice. I am okay. Oh, louder. Come on. Say it like you really mean it. I am okay.

Say it again. I am okay. I am okay and you are okay. I am okay and you are okay. I am okay and you are okay. I am okay and you are okay. I am okay and you are okay and mama is okay. I am okay and you are okay and mama is okay. Say it. I am okay and you are okay and mama is okay.

Right on Eunice. Now, your life will take on a golden hue just as soon as you take that first little step to the road to independence and go to that employment agency and get yourself a job. I will. I will. I will.

I will. It's just a little tiny step, Eunice, but only you can do it. Hey, I like you. I think you're okay and I know you can do it. Oh, hey.

I like me too and I am okay. In the Christian walk, you know, it's an interesting dichotomy of submission and yet we have responsibility to follow the Lord and do as He commands, right? So, walking that fine line is awful hard.

Where I go with the self-care is more of a, well, I need to remove the plank out of my eye before I start worrying about everybody else's plank or their specs in their eye. That's one of the first things when I, you know, my BC days, I dealt with this kind of stuff with contemplating suicide for everything. That was where I really went with when things were bad, when things weren't good. It's like, okay, how am I going to do it?

Plattin' it all out. You know, we've had some of those discussions in the past before and that was just kind of the normal thing. I remember when I went to a psychiatrist, I guess, I don't know what, but it was for my wife and I were going to see one and he was just kind of like talking to me, asking me about, you know, do I ever have depression? I'm like, no. Have you ever thought about suicide?

Yeah. Well, then he honed in on that and I was like, well, that's depression. I'm like, no, it's not.

Who doesn't think about killing themselves? You know, to me, it was just, that's normal. You know, like we've talked about so many times, you're normal. You just, oh no, that's just normal. That's just normal. No, that's not normal. So, that was the first time I had my light turned onto that. It was just amazing how, you know, in the BC days, there's only been like two times that that thought has reoccurred and other things that, you know, you just can put off and put on Christ.

And just going through that is, it's something that you, I can't tell anybody how to go do it and say, oh, here's the five-step plan. But when you're studying Christ and learning Christ and understanding who Christ is and he becomes more and more in your life and he's bigger and bigger and for me, the fear of man, other people becoming smaller, that is the great change for me to be due to what I would call the self-care because it's, what's best for me is what God says is best for me, not me telling myself that I'm good and mama's good and all that. It's just, no, God is good.

No, none but God, right? So, as I'm trying to always worry about my plank, I'm finding that I actually care for others more in that because I'm actually like, wow, where are you at? How are you doing? Because I know I'm not doing so well here and I'm doing better somewhere else.

I'm much more open to be sympathetic and listening and trying to understand more than I am just trying to judge, which was always a problem with me. So, my question is, why did you wait till Jim wasn't here to throw out a word like dichotomy? Well, when Jim's gone, you know, somebody's got to fill in the gap. And we all acted like we knew what it meant. I hope I used it right, actually.

We're guessing you did. What I thought was interesting about your clip, the one time she gets authentic, he takes her right out of it. When she says in it, I'm not okay and I don't usually, I don't like myself. When she's at the point where he can actually help her, he does it.

And that's part of the challenge is making sure when you go to a counselor, you get a good one. That's going to lead you to God. Bob Newhart, right? Yeah. The Christian version.

He may have been Christian, I don't know. But it's going to lead you to God. If any other answer than that, if that's not where you end up, it's not going to be a lasting thing. And there are some really, really good counselors out there, but the opposite is also true.

And so make sure you do your due diligence before you go. Because that's really what shocked me in that clip. It was a very funny clip. At the point when she was actually ready, he just took her to a completely different direction.

That was a time to put off and put on Christ. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Exactly.

Exactly. Well, Harold, I want to ask you a question. You had something you talked about where you've learned some stuff about stress. You told us a little bit about that before the show. Yeah, that was when we were listening to the thing about stress affecting sleep. And I said, yeah, it really does because I was listening to the radio one time and Smokey Bear said, only you can prevent forest fires. Stressed me to the max. I just couldn't get any sleep after that. It's too big a job.

That was Smokey the Cub back in those days, wasn't it? Well, thank you, Harold. We'll come back to you here in a second. But I guess we're stuck with my clip now.

And so I went in a totally different direction than I think everybody else. And so I actually have a clip from a news report on the importance of sleep. And so I want to go ahead and play that. We'll come back and talk about it and the reason I chose it.

And so we'll go from there. The problem is so pervasive, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention considers insufficient sleep, a public health epidemic, one that can have surprising consequences on your health. Just because they can get by with four or five hours sleep, it may not be best for them. And it is pretty clear that not getting enough sleep on a nightly basis can lead to health problems.

Health problems such as hypertension, heart attacks, stroke, diminished blood sugar control, possibly leading to diabetes, weight gain, anxiety and depression. So how much sleep do we need? The National Sleep Foundation says children need between nine and 10 hours of sleep each night, adults seven to eight. In a 2009 CDC survey, about 35% of adults reported getting less than seven hours of sleep a night, with nearly 40% reporting at least one incident of nodding off during the day. And even more disturbing, about 5% reported nodding off at least once while driving.

A frightening number, since the US Department of Transportation estimates more than 1,500 Americans are killed each year because of drowsy driving. So how can we get more sleep? By changing some habits. First, watch the caffeine intake.

None after one or two pm. Second, take time before bed to wind down. And third, stop the screen time well before bedtime.

When you get light from whether it's a tv screen or a mobile phone screen, it sort of sends a message to say, hey it's not time for sleeping. And finally, start looking at sleep for what it is, as important to our good health as exercise and proper nutrition. We should be spending a third of our life sleeping and when we deprive ourselves of that, we're really limiting our opportunities for good health. And don't forget, besides enhanced productivity and better health, there's one more very important benefit to getting enough sleep. When we're well rested, we tend to be nicer to each other. I left that last part in there as a reminder to myself, more than anything, that when we get enough sleep, we're nicer to one another. Because I realized years and years ago that my kids were often the victim of my lack of sleep. When I was married, it was my spouse who was a victim of my lack of sleep that, you know, I could have tolerance with lots of people or apparent tolerance, not necessarily tolerance, but what would appear to be tolerance with lots of people until it was somebody really close to me.

You know, and the more tired I was, you know, the less capacity I had for anything outside of what I consider to be a norm, you know. And so, you know, I've learned that if I don't get enough sleep, there's not a mouse that's safe as far as, not like squeaky mice that eat cheese, the mice you use on your computer. Because when things aren't going well on the computer, sometimes I take it out on mouse.

I know you guys would be surprised about that. You've only seen that once at boot camp. But yeah, I had to replace a mouse last week because I couldn't load something to teams that I wanted to load. And the mouse was the victim. But really, the issue was, I was the victim of not having enough sleep. And so, in this season, and I do a lot better in the fall with it, honestly, because of Sunday football. You know, last week I went to church. And then after church, you know, great for me, the church service gets out in time for me to get home and watch the one o'clock game, you know.

And so, I got home and I just watch football afternoon. And for a lot of people that might not be relaxing, but I find it very relaxing and very good time that I work all week very diligently to guard my Sundays. You know, and it's not as much about the football as it is the practice of rest. You know, and it's more than just a physical rest. It's a mental rest. We live in a society where we're rarely disconnected.

You know, most people have a phone with them a lot of the time, or they're listening to something, or watching something, or they've got an AirPod in, or something that keeps them connected. You know, and the problem with that connection, although there's a lot of benefits to it, is your mind doesn't get time to rest. You don't get a time to take a break and you just mentally wear down more and more and more and more. And this was a reminder for me of, yeah, your rest is important.

I was watching football last night. You know, there was a game on last night and I really wanted to see the end of the game, but I was like, if I do that, I'm not going to get enough sleep. And so, you know, I made myself go to bed and I was grateful for that today.

You guys should be a little bit more grateful than I went to bed because I would have been a lot less nice than I am now, believe it or not. But no, it's just very important to me. And so some of the questions I might ask you here in a minute, I know Kenny wants to say something, but is what are you doing to take care of yourself right now?

Right? Cause I know, you answered it and Robby, you answered it some, I'm asking to answer it again, but what are you specifically doing to take care of yourself? But before we do that, Kenny, you want to say something?

Kenny Well, I was just listening to that clip, you know, eight hours. That's what they recommend. 10 for the kids.

So there's two hours. It should be a little quiet in the house. Sometimes that happens with, you got multiple kids and all, but that, that importance like we're getting that really taken care of herself. Cause if you don't take care of it now, you can't go back and catch up.

Cause I've seen people try to do that. I've seen people spend their lives making a wealth, and then they try to take that wealth and buy that and you can't buy it back. I mean, once God gives you something you got to take care of, it's a gift.

You were stewards. Do we see we're self stewards and time is very precious. Really one of the most precious quality things he gives us to use, you know, he says number of your days, you know, we all got the same amount of hours. And do we discipline ourselves in that? I know I struggle with that myself, staying focused on, like you say, I want to see the end of this, but it's not good for me, you know, and I can catch the end later and all that's basically.

Yeah. I find that, you know, for me, I'm a project person. I love to do projects and I get a lot of enjoyment out of completing projects. But the problem with that, if I'm not careful and I don't make myself rest on my days off, I will do projects the whole time. And I may be glad that the garage got cleaned or the backyard get this got done, but I don't take time to set in the backyard and enjoy it because I spent all my time doing projects. Right. And I still enjoy doing the projects, but I'm just trying to do those on Saturdays and giving my Sundays more to family time, you know, football friends, anything that's going to bring me joy and relaxation instead of more to do type thing.

Harold. Some of us are born night owls and the world is ruled by larks, so we don't fit. But also to me, I made the mistake years ago of not only being a night owl, but I tended to take great pride in the fact that I could stay up. And there were times that I worked all night long because of a computer bug.

And I God gave me the ability that when the phone rang at two thirty or three o'clock in the morning, I could jump up, drive to the office and be clear headed enough to solve the bug in the program, even if it was one I hadn't written. But my mistake was that I took pride in that and I resented sleeping. I wanted to be doing something. I wanted to read.

And I remember as a child, I would sneak a flashlight into the bed with me so I could read after mama turned the lights out. But that's not really good for your health. When you start through that list of things that you can have, like high blood pressure, heart trouble. I'm sitting here like Bill Murray, me, me. So, yeah, the Lord has blessed me with many years. I'm past 82 now.

Never thought about it being here at that age. And who knows, I'm gaining on Vinnie. I don't know if I'm Vinnie was apparently around 85 when he was still on the program. I'm going to shoot for that. Who knows if I'll make it. But we need to take better care of ourselves.

There's no doubt about that. And I didn't do it very well. Lack of sleep also leads to short temper, anger. So it's you go into a downward spiral.

You do. You know, we started these fires here at, you know, masculine journey. And so I had a fire in Ashboro a couple weeks ago, had one in our neighborhood. That was three weeks ago in Ashboro.

Two weeks ago, we had it in in Stokesdale, which again, those fires at six o'clock, you can see them at the website, you know, fires on their welded heart. But you know, we started going around asking guys, you know, that hadn't come to a boot camp and that kind of thing. You know, how do you feel about certain things? And you could see that these guys had not really taken any kind of inventory.

I mean, they were running like I was when I was 30. You know, like you said, you took pride that if you were hurting, you powered through it, right? If you were hurting emotionally, if you were hurting physical, you know, all those things didn't matter because the goal, you know, this was where we're headed in this way.

And so it was amazing to me, but we talked about that I watched these people for the first time get the concept of, oh, I got to put the oxygen mask on myself first, right? I'm telling other people to get Jesus, but I haven't gone to Jesus to help me with all the other struggles that I have in my life because I'm honestly not aware of all the struggles I have in my life because I haven't sat down to see how I even feel. And so I think it's one of the places that one of the things I really got from walking with you guys over the years, and certainly Sam and Darren, is to actually, well, how are you feeling, Robby?

Like, how are you really feeling? Emotionally, physically, all those things really, you know, matter to God and that body he gave you, you know, I heard it said recently, I think it's beautiful, that Jesus was fully human. And so to be human is the ultimate honor, right? To take advantage of this unbelievable body that God gave you and treat it like it ought to be treated so that you can have, you know, 90 years or whatever Vinnie might have had, or we'll all shoot for, you know?

Yeah. And I'm gonna ask you a question again, though. So there are things that you do for self-care. I mean, you're riding a bike for a while, you take walks, I mean, there's different things. So what's God got you doing in this season to help take care of yourself? Well, you know, I've been on very interesting nutrition. I actually, I pray before I eat anything and ask God, you know, what are we eating today? And that's really, really helpful for me.

And I can't even believe how much better I feel. And same thing with my rest. So, you know, I take, those who know me well know I take a lot of naps. And that's also true, like, do we need to sleep?

Like, you know, the more we can check in with God during the day on almost all the things, like, really, really helpful stuff. That's pretty much it. Danny, what about you? I've been trying to take a nap every afternoon, but the boss keeps kicking the chair and yelling.

I don't understand what the deal is. But, you know, actually, you have tried to lose some weight lately. And, you know, working out some and trying to take better care of me all around, not just physically. So, yeah, definitely.

Rodney, anything you want to add? Yeah, on the physical side, I have finally gotten back in a little bit of shape and walking and doing a very simple workout. You know, I did about, it would be nine years ago, I started a regiment where I actually got back in shape. And it took me three years, you know, and I'm like, I actually got back in shape. I was, like, feeling really good, getting some strength back and running and all that kind of stuff.

And I went silent again, did nothing for another almost six years. And, you know, now I'm just starting to go back into that. But it does help the whole mental side of things as well. For me, you know, definitely being in the Word and actually making sure that I'm reminding myself of who God is and who I am and being with you guys, being with other brothers and sisters at church and doing things and, you know, participating. Like, I do the moving ministry, which is one of the reasons why I want to be in shape because I was like, I couldn't help anybody else if I couldn't help myself. So, just things like that that can all blend together.

Yeah, makes sense. For me, one of the things I've been doing is, I have some trouble with some neuropathy in my feet. And so, when I get home from work at night, I don't necessarily feel like walking and I've been at work all night. So, what I decided to do is I just park my car first thing in the morning and I walk my job site most of the day unless I have to go get a tool or something. That doesn't sound like much, but I'm usually getting anywhere from six to seven miles a day walking, you know, and getting those steps in because I know that if I wait till I get home, I'm going to have 100 excuses on why I can't go do it. And it makes me do it during the day and it gives me some exercise, especially on beautiful days. Not as much fun to do it in the rain, but it is a bunch of fun to do, you know, out on nice days. So, go to masculinejourney.org to register for bootcamp. This is the Truth Network.