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Fatherless-Ness (Clink on link to listen 27min)

The Masculine Journey / Sam Main
The Truth Network Radio
July 5, 2014 12:30 pm

Fatherless-Ness (Clink on link to listen 27min)

The Masculine Journey / Sam Main

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Kingdom Pursuits
Robby Dilmore

Jesus was one feels more like a losing battle. Something, my stew is today's post Fourth of July you think you try to figure out what I don't know what were talking about occurred the day after 4 July. That's true, but we can get even there some stay with us to try to up that evening if you don't know or talk about we try to reference at sit back and listen to some podcasts of mask injury listen.

Some of those we do have other things on those podcasts is joking and we love to have some fun and we're talking about a topic today that is not naturally joking matter. Now it's it's one that is very sad. In a lot of ways and in it if you already said don't tune out.

There's hope you know the end of this promise, there is hope for sure we really had a look at what is a problem with being dealt with in the topic were talking about today. Robbie is what is not a word but I like trying to say it fatherlessness hang in there said that is not a correction but really it is that's that's being fatherless, and in what does that really do what is a do an individual once I do to a culture. It is a huge problem here in the United States and we were reading through some of the statistics and in each one of us have some statistics that jumped out at us for different reasons and we will then talk about ahead of time, who's in a talk about what really work was God leading you and some statistics were to startling. One of the things that that really hit me was that 63% of all use the commit suicide, from a father was home in on being a father of a youth man that I am so sad about that that you know that it if if that thing would change that number with the deathly be less would be zero you are probably not but deathly it would be less than 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes along the same lines, there is such a prevalence of of making making these kind of choices dropping out from school ending up addicted to something ending up getting getting someone pregnant so many things that going today when I went through the training to be a foster parent. They went through why children run away no that usually with a foster child.

It's very, very, very common for the them to run away because running away is 1 Tech Way that a child will attempt to take control of the situation has no control over. He or she may have no control over the statistical grab you 90% of all runaway children are from homeless are from fatherless homes 90%.

That leaves like 10%. That's a horribly frightening statistic when that's what would we figure 43% of the kids going out today are from fatherless homes.

So that's twice the number of kids that are home yeah you know almost every other home in just under that is a fatherless home in our society is not just here we have statistics for here, but it is a problem in many other cultures as well. And it's not a random thing now we have an enemy that had that pretty much in mind from the beginning. So we did. It was a very calculated move in and part of that was to hear things like you got a hearing this next clip it to get to that. But there's a bigger reason why he had in mind of what he wanted us to have fatherless homes and part of that was for the pain that it creates work and listen to honestly assess show that I don't watch a clip from Dr. Phil, you can love hating whatever you feel about Dr. Phelan whether he helps her. He doesn't, but this clip is when I came across that really just kinda spoke to me in a lot of different ways to listen to it. It's it he's talking to young lady to grow fatherless, and what I did to her in her eyes. Anyway, it's listen to it and were neck back and talk about anyway will go back to see more statistics consummate statistics said nothing laughing about her.

Her hair, I know it is hard to talk about what you're willing to talk about it now that it is lines you will now getting your body away until binge drinking. Everything you sexually active at what 14. Talk to you talk about this a little bit but said to so many dads that are either harsh rejecting or absent, with her daughter that they are setting them to be picked off by the first male figure that comes along and gives them what they wish they were getting which is acceptance and validation in and told the nice things and you are walking, talking proof of exactly that dynamic true. Well, regardless of how you feel about talkshows in general. Dr. Phil specifically you can't question the truth and that clip there some real truth rub as you listen to what's what some of things that come up in your heart as you listen to that was a father of two daughters and a granddaughter like wow you know what is it that I need to make sure that I am giving my daughters to where they feel like they have that validation that acceptance I'm going. That's the glory there's a lot of stuff there that looks really scary to me because I realize how easily they they can get picked off it ends. What about you it makes me grateful again being a divorced father from a very early age of my daughter that my daughter and I did have a good and still have a really strong relationship because I think a lot of those things she faced. We talked about. We talked about those things in high school. The other thing that struck me about this clip as it could just as easily be a guy talking about seeking the same tent thing looking for love in all the wrong places. As the song goes, absolutely because it's it comes with acceptance and validation. And it can come from different sources, but primarily that will come from the father right when you don't feel that from your father. You're gonna look for that in other ways, and this is not a father bashing show that's not what this is about us is recognizing the impact of the father. And if you're not a father still stay tuned. And because you had a father and son continue to talk about that if you grew up in a home that the dad was not there.

You number sorry it had good friends and talk about just the sadness of your male friends and talk about not knowing how to call a girl grout for date. Not having anyone to turn to and say hey dad had even do this or how to tie a tie. You know, and some of those things if you grew up in a household with a with a dad there. They did those things with you. You really have no concept of what that pain would feel like you on how easy would be to try to turn to some other place for validation or evening work and I have wonderful dad. That was really engaged in a lot of different ways but there still places that I go how come there's nobody to explain this to me how come I didn't know how to walk through that might my father although we were close didn't really do much with it came to women.

And so I was totally in the woods and's and desperately looking for father, but it's also just the simplest deed at how come you didn't tell me how to fix the lawnmower. You know how come I can't work through these these things we were looking for Fox unit. It may not be ever an intentional act by the dad and I don't know what takes a fathers out of the home and physically out of the home could be that the could be divorce. It could be that just can handle things and took off right and there's all sorts of reasons that that happens with the turmoil in the.

The collateral damage it's left behind is very consistent. A lot of times when I was young my dad was working two jobs because he had three young kids.

He by necessity was not around that much and there is a lot of things that we missed out on.

But he felt like and we talked about this over the years he felt like he was doing what he needed to do at that time. Can't fault them for that with a lot of things that we missed along the way there.

As you know we talked a bit about my story. In the past and in our group in a home where my dad was there pretty much until the time that I was 21 when he passed away, but at age 14 he had a stroke and when he had the stroke part of that. The thing that affected with his ability to talk and so there's really no communication for that last seven years of any kind. Honestly, there was a bunch before that my dad was a good man and I know you love me, and so forth.

But member being so angry at 16 and having you know the alternator at Beckman cars had amount if they still do, or not enough that they did okay yeah your generator is a generator. Maybe that's what wow yeah, that was an older lives didn't have much money said about older cars, but you being so mad that no one showed me how to do this. I know it's just a few bolts and notes as may be a whatever it is one of the things about. I'm not occurred yet. There's a car guy and I remember just feeling so angry. Why wasn't there someone here to show me that I know my dad would've loved to been there but they didn't stop the enemy on the backside of that doing the damage he does and that's what we really hear from that clip from that girl you know we talked a little bit off Aaron doing all these things that where we take our brokenness or woundedness. We have our own ownership and it only Robbie and that's the part that I do at night. I don't want to fall into that label of the reason why this behavior is because I'm a victim I'm a victim and so I really, you know, I did have a responsibility so there's clearly a way that Jesus that the that God's going to come after that and and heal you and set the captive free and you gotta take a role in that, but it starts to great extent with some you teach so well.

Sam is you've got a good heart.

There's there's a good structure there. Once you got Jesus and when you become a new creation in Christ. As it says in Scripture that you know we do get a new heart giving a heart of flesh of a heart that's alive and it is a good heart and we talk a bit more about that when you talk about growing up in a home with the father was there but not initially present in a lot of different ways and play clip about that.

There's hope on the backside of that you can listen to masculine dirty comeback listen to us after the break mask injury to get more podcast somehow shows learn about upcoming events, including mask injury family adventure this fall. September 5 through the seventh of camp specifically for folks for the fathering to learn how to hunt, or perhaps just don't have a place to go. I can't because it will be intense and that might be a family adventure because the hunting is just a small part of this weekend all masculine drug events tons of food great talks by both the men and women naturally with great movie clips and most of all covenant assignments times specific time set aside for your whole family to hear from even a movie Saturday night. I think the thing I'm most excited about with that of camp is really learning how to shoot the 12 gates. I got a Christmas and so kids, my wife and I all got guns for Christmas and it looks like a great opportunity for us to get around some people that know what to do and and really help us learn from. Go register now it masculine journey radio.individuals $169 whole family for just $299 masculine journey radio oh are under the events.

I just doing things in a way that I tested tissues please wow that would you like you, I heard that some you forever been almost my life, and portion Robbie's life down the side of my great singer songwriters and that was true story is very sad for him and I listen to that what makes it so sad is honestly from be honest with myself that could be my daughter's story when I was a young dad and really didn't know how to handle the pressures of being a dad and and did know what that looked like to be successful at home. I knew it look like to be successful work in their social justification while gotta work to feed the family. That's definitely true. When I look back, I'm honest with myself there's a part of that is at least I know what to do here. Parents want to listen that it becomes very sad know my daughters and I have what I believe to be a good relationship but you know you look back and say wow I wished I would've known some things then that I know now that's probably the you do that your whole life. Don't give any. Is that something you do as you look back and say wow I only knew now what knew then what I knew now how things might've been a little different.

I don't know if that could apply to me aside and see my father at all, but I didn't think that he was a bad father to me. It was a different time.

You know when you talk about the 30s and 40s and the immigrants they will all the same.

I didn't know what the word abuse meant now that I'm an old man and I think back and I say only Michael Moore abused you know about the guy next door was abused, his daughter, his children. I don't know it's it's very hard to speak to this for me because of the time that I grew up in and all I see my mother being abuse know my father. What did he teach me to clean the coop to wash the cough to go weed the garden but nothing else.

But there was nothing else in them days, no television here that no television anyway and I want to know in your bare feet of snow. How do you have much respect for you and tease you about arrangement robbing that I had as much of that is not ashamed to say the thing about this clip coming up Sam that really it spoke it. The clip hurts on adult lot of different levels, but it also gave me great hope, some we talk a lot about on the show on how people get caught in the opposing but this clip comes from a movie called big fish and it's about a son who really wants to find out about his dad and his dad has been posing so strong for so long. He tells these phenomenal fish stories every time every time he goes to talkie. He has all his great big story and the son is sick of the pose and he wants to find out what's below the surface and I think we can talk about that.

There's a lot of you know that icebergs dad July I saw a nice but along it wall down the taxes for drinking water, let me an elephant frozen and sat the wallet And a mammoth dad what am I trying to make a metaphor here will be gymnast data with the question because people want elastic waist issues started to think about eyes. The thing about icebergs is you only see 10%. The other 90% is below the water where you can't see that's what it is with you that I only see in this little bit that sticks above the water oriole machine down to my molars my chin that I had.

I have no idea who you are because you've never told me a single fact. In fact well is what I do tell stories you tell lies that you tell amusing lies. Stories are what you tell a five-year-old at bedtime. They're not elaborate mythologies that you maintain your son is 10 to 15 at 2030 and I believed you. I I believe your story sit much longer than I should have been that when I realized of course that everything that you said was impossible. Everything I felt like a fool to have trusted you like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny combined. Is this charming interest is fake. You think can play only on the surface that, but it's all I've ever seen. Look, I'm about to have a kid of my own and it would kill me if he went through his whole life, never understanding me where you want will you want me to be yourself.

Good, bad, everything just to show me who you are. For once have been nothing but myself since the day I was ball and if you See that it's your failing, not mine. Well as I heard that you not thought about my own relationship with my father not my father.

He was a Carson like his son and his grandson, but more than that my desire to know more of him and to get beneath the surface was really hard and and then I thought about my relationship with my own kids and that they see only the 10% above the water line and in and do I get really deep and I've been reading this book that that Sam recommended highly to me about called weight dad by John Eldridge and there he had a phenomenal app a little exercise he said, write down the things that you love just take a few minutes right now in write down the things you love and I said I want to do that on for pages later of all these things and I thought wow does my family. Does anybody know I love all these does the do they know anything that's beneath the surface and and what would that mean for me to know of that of my father. What would that mean for the people want to know me doing the things you guys know little bit. I been writing a daily devotional. I don't know since 2003 something like that that that goes out every morning through a variety of social media's email and so forth. And I never really realized it until Heidi had put those together and see about putting in a book that I've often written about my children things that I never told him the impact that they made on me at different points in their life and and sometimes impacts in my spirituality member story of Eli you guys get home one day and it's it's in the book, but in his cups and Israel were little four-year-old is and I got a imitation for you. I get imitation for you like Latin really sure it can find out he was talk about a party invitation unit was a fake party was so excited that you only really brought back to me. You know, seeing things through the eyes of a child in on the excitement and and one as last time, eyes that excited about my faith you known to have this four-year-old is just in his excitement had me turn and look and say wow you know but I could've very easily going to my grave with that story never being told that one day he'll read hopefully and save wow that's kinda cool. I never knew I impacted my dad in that way in on so anyway that's off-topic that you brought out completely on topic from my standpoint that is we are looking at both. Wow.

What did we miss by not knowing our fathers what can we give our kids for them to know us better, but even cooler that is that's cool Blake that's right cervical disc. How much is there about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit that that he wants to share with me if I will take the time to read his book absolutely and have not just read his book, which is incredibly important but try to have a relationship now with payments is not this manual of and read this in Ossian. What year as you know, that is ill. Jack says that you know it's it's a way of life kind of thing and that was really the enemies plan right the devastation that you hear from a tragic tragic thing like the statistics we read to the impact that the enemies used regardless of our father's intention. Father's intention had been noble could've been great. The enemy twisted and turned it right into make it be something different in our life to where it made a negative impact that this sought us to go to other places or to do things that we wouldn't probably normally do and it is called a right mind, if you're really thinking with clear heads and full hearts, but that's kind of sounds like the story in the Garden of Eden doesn't a little bit probably does it remind you that Artemis accept absolutely. Satan came after them with the idea that that you can't trust that you know is you can't trust a got and in dad's.

He wants to get he wants to get between you and your children. He wants to get in the middle of that relationship and disrupted the same way that he does with our heavenly father and is one of her friends talked about often. Jesus came to be the way to the father. I mean we can have that type of relationship with our children and asked we talked about earlier with all the stats that we seen. Look what happens when you don't. But there's hope in that you can do that in an that enemy can be overcome with a set but we have to fight that battle every day. It doesn't happen automatically every day were to have that battle every day. I'm told that I don't need to talk to my daughter every day. I'm told that I don't need to talk to my heavenly father. You know, I hear that all the time.

Satan is going and I don't worry about that, but not true. It's not you know that was really his plan all along you to separate us from the father and to get us to see the father's heart differently and we talked about in the show before voting wanted Adam and Eve.

The two original children right. We know in Scripture it says and anyone after with you can't trust the heart of the father and he sold out on you. He just is way to be like him. Whatever may work, whatever that spin is that was his original point and then take that younger generations and generations later and you have devastation in the home with people that will really don't trust her father, sometimes for good reason. Don't get me wrong, but it's been the plan all along to separate us from our heavenly father to get us to see him differently and Psalm 68 is really a cool place where God says he's going to be a father to the fatherless, and he placed the lonely in families that he doesn't want us to be able to continue to talk about this topic again this next week as we revisit this topic of being fatherless and then Godfather, you're really walking that that's easy to say this really the easiest place to get to because there's a lot of things you gotta usually deal with things in is laid on top of you got that next week and get some new clips on talk about how you can find that life in the father is like more information about upcoming events remain Kernersville again in July. Later in July. We have a dove camp coming up in September to listen to past podcast of masking journey can catch us on Twitter and Facebook masking journey radio and Facebook injury radio on Twitter thanks every day

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