Illness-Disease-Suffering

This is Stu Epperson from the Truth Talk Podcast, connecting current events, pop culture, and theology. And we're so grateful for you that you've chosen the Truth Podcast Network.

It's about to start in just a few seconds. Enjoy it and please share it around with all your friends. Thanks for listening and thanks for choosing the Truth Podcast Network.

This is the Truth Network. The heart of every man craves a great adventure, but life doesn't usually feel that way. Jesus speaks of narrow gates and wide roads, but the masculine journey is filled with many twists and turns.

So how do we keep from losing heart while trying to find the good way when life feels more like a losing battle than something worth dying for? Grab your gear and come on a quest with your band of brothers who will serve as the guides in what we call the masculine journey. The masculine journey starts here now. Yes, we're starting here now today and I hope you're ready to get to the art of the matter. The reason I say that is because today's host, almost host, and quite literally is art. And so we're going to get to the art of the matter because art for the first time in the history of ArtNom has come up with our topic today. And so Art, we're just so thrilled that not only do you have your third clip in a row, but today you actually suggested the topic. So tell us about what we're talking about today.

Well, I did. It happened that I'm trying to contribute more to severe clips and talk and I thought I was been thinking all week of what I could think of for a topic. And I met this man who was selling a piece of landscape equipment and he said in his ad that he used it one time and now it's for sale. It was deep discount off of what a new one would cost. And so I had to ask him, you know, why would you just use this equipment one time and then sell it?

And he told me, he said, well, he has throat cancer that he's battling and he can't work and he needs the money for his doctor. And I thought, you know, this is just how devastating, you know, this could happen to me, you know, at any time. And I just wanted to suggest this for a topic and I wanted to see what the guys had to say about it. So dealing with, you know, a heartbreaking diagnosis or illness or some kind of struggle, right?

And so absolutely beautiful. And then another really neat thing about this show is that, you know, it's sort of the Grant Art Show because we brought Grant in for the first time in a good while and because Grant has quite a story of this, that Grant was involved in horrible accident, right? How old were you, Grant, when that happened? 19. You were 19, right?

And how old are you now? So I'm 60, right? So, yeah.

So just, you know, my math says 41 years ago, but hey, you like that, Rodney? So anyway, Grant's got quite a story. And I thought about opening with Art's clip, which we're going to get to very quickly, but I thought it may be even more compelling that you're in the hospital and you had an encounter with Jesus unlike anything I've ever really heard.

And although I've known you for a few years, I never heard this. So would you tell our listeners what you encountered when you were in this accident, right? That you were on all sorts of life support, all sorts of equipment, holding you, making you alive. What happened?

Yes. When the ambulance came, I was dead. The brain was dead. Right? Then hours later, or next day, all the body died.

Then the worst type had come for three and a half months. I actually, Christ asked me, do you want to come with me? Do you want to stay here? I thought, egotistically, I thought, I'd say, I'd stay here and help others.

Did he say something at that point to you? I forget cheerfully. That's okay. That's all right.

That's all right. But I think it's a fascinating thing. And the way you told it earlier, you said, he said, do you want to stay on the earth?

Yes. He used those words, which I find fascinating. And you said egotistically, but sometimes your words don't express what you actually use in your heart. That was one thing. The helping others is not necessarily an egotistical thing, but actually a self-sacrificing thing.

Because I would imagine that looking at one versus the other, but you're making a point that I think will get made throughout the show today that I wanted to get out, which was that essentially we all kind of live 1 Corinthians chapter, 2 Corinthians chapter one, where, you know, the God of all comfort comforts us that we could comfort others with the comfort that he comforted us with. You know, I really want to say that's a tongue twister. But the idea is that obviously you have fought for a lot of years.

Yes. To get back your ability to speak. That was the worst part. So now I'll never speak again.

You were told you would never speak again. And look at you now. On the radio. Yeah. Look at that.

Listen to him. Yeah, you can hear it. And so, you know, wow. And then as God put people in your path that had similar struggles that you've had a chance to work with? Many times. Many times.

Yes. And I can relate to that in so many different ways and the many opportunities I've had for struggles. So with that said, one of the common struggles that we all are involved with here at The Masculine Journey is that we're not as young as we once were.

Right? And so Art, you've got a clip for us along these lines. And we usually go with a lot of girl clips here on The Masculine Journey.

Except when Jim's around. The Carolina girl clips. But anyway, Art is in the new territory. We have never used a clip from this particular series. Go ahead, Art.

Okay. This clip is from The Golden Girls. And Beatrice is having a moment where she kind of forgot that she's kind of an older woman. And then she looked in the mirror and remembered that she is. And it's really a hilarious clip.

So just go ahead and play it and then we'll talk about it. I had the shock of my life today. I was in the teacher's lounge talking to a group of girls in their 20s. Oh, they were so pretty.

At that age, you don't even have to be pretty and you're pretty. Anyway, we were laughing and giggling and having a great time. And I completely forgot that I was older. You know, I just felt like one of the girls and we had a wonderful time. And then I got into my car and caught a glimpse of myself.

And I almost had a heart attack. This old woman was in the mirror. I didn't even recognize her. Who was it? Who was it, Art?

Oh, well, well, it was her. But, you know, I was just thinking, you know, I imagine my old friend Harold, when he looks in the mirror. Old friend. His mirror stays perpetually confused by who is there, whose image that is there. A few people actually met Methuselah.

They played pickleball together. Well, I can tell you that that's a common thing that happens when you get old like me. When I'm in with this group of people, I don't think about myself as being so much older than the rest of the crowd. But then I look in the mirror and it's like, oh, yeah, there's that old guy. So between the ears, I'm young.

But you look at my skin and it's kind of old. I love what Art said, and I've thought about it ever since he said it earlier, was we were getting ready. I want to hear what the guys have to say about this topic. And specifically, I think at the heart of what Art was looking for, is that you would be artfully answering this question, is you've got somebody that's really struggling.

They've gotten a diagnosis that's potentially going to take their life. And what is it that you can say? How is it that you could act?

Well, what you got for that? And obviously we pray and those kind of things. But right at the heart of your own story, it's an interesting challenge. And so I would ask you, since of all those sitting here, I know you, Harold, have had a series of those same experiences on the table with your heart stomping. What would you say to the man with throat cancer?

I would say to pray that he can be in God's will, because it's ultimately up to God. Yeah, I've had a few things to try to get through. I had rheumatoid arthritis for a while. Fortunately, that went away. For people who've never had it, they have no idea the pain associated there with. I flatlined twice in the hospital before having five bypasses done. I've had prostate cancer.

I've had knee surgery twice. So why do you think you survived? Because God wasn't through with me.

That's the only reason I'm here. And, you know, I was reading a devotional today about David. And one of the things that really struck me was how much I have in common with David. David is a man after God's own heart.

I try to be. I don't think I make it like he did. But the man was a killer. He was an adulterer. He was a murderer. And yet he was a man after God's own heart. And he was shorter than his brothers. Because the thing about David, he never gave up.

He never gave up. That's true. And that's the thing that we have to do, I think, when we're facing these kind of issues.

And for me personally, it's easier for me to deal with my own stuff than it is if something happens with my sweetheart. She went through a period of where she had pneumonia, pleurisy, and a staph infection. And I cannot begin to tell you how difficult it was for me to sit in that hospital room day after day and not just... Yeah, I think that's one of the great lessons I learned as a patient, right, as I was going through cancer and a lot of the things I went through. Tammy got her feelings hurt a lot because everybody asked, how's Robby?

What's going on with Robby? Nobody said, what's going on with Tammy? Because actually it's more difficult to be the caregiver than it is to be the patient. Just saying that for me, I had it easy. I was laying back there feeling bad, whatever. But my wife, just think about how you would feel if one of your children is sick or something. You feel way worse than if you yourself were suffering, which is how you felt about your wife, right? And so when you encounter this man with throat cancer, I would say, look his wife straight in the face and say, and how are you doing? And what's up with you?

Because believe me, she's suffering in a big, huge way as well. I know that's a big part of what goes on with that. And so we ever start to ask why we need to stop and go read the book of Job. There you go. And the good news is we got a boot camp coming up. We would love to see you. We got fires. They're starting all over the place. We've got dates and all that stuff.

We're gonna talk about coming up. What we have at our boot camp is something that makes you stronger and gives you the strength to go on your regular walk with God. It's something that will make you be bigger than you were when you got there. I think sometimes as men, we feel like we're on our own and we've got to do everything ourselves. And the way of the world is on our shoulders.

And it's our job to fix everything and make everything right and have all the answers. And I think when you come here, you just get really honed back in and reminded that God really is for us. That a good father helps you and a good father makes sure you have all the tools you need.

And a good father comes through for you when you need him and you just feel less alone. Register today at masculinejourney.org. It is a tight bond of men.

Everybody's the same. And each and every time that I've come to boot camp, I've learned something different. And not one man that's ever been there neglects not to take the time out to talk or to share. It's serious business. And you need to come one time to break bread with the men and fellowship, fill the atmosphere, hear the people pray and get down to earth about what's going on in life and get real.

Register today at masculinejourney.org. And so we have a bump provided by Sam Main who, after he asks for all this help, isn't here to help us. Tell us what he was thinking about. We have Andy. So Andy, I'm just going to take this pain, brother.

Take this pain, Jake Banfield. It was a great bump. I think it speaks to our topic, but I don't know much more than that.

That's all I got to say about that. Well, I got to tell you that when I was thinking about what Art brought up last Tuesday when we picked this topic, like, man, God, what's up with this? And it was kind of fun.

It really is to be on this show and begin to pray, God, take my heart somewhere with this because clearly I've lived this story a few times with my own diagnosis in several ways. And I go swimming with my wife a lot. I live on Blues Creek Lake. And we went swimming one morning after a horrible thunderstorm and all that the night before. And as I was looking up at the mountains, which you can see hanging rock and stuff like that, and I can always see those from the lake.

But this particular morning, it was so clear that I could see the mountain range behind it, but I could see actually the details on the mountain range behind it, which are Blue Ridge Mountains on my way to Boone or wherever I was in my mind going. And I thought, man, this storm really cleared the air. And it hit me that in each of those situations, if you don't know my story, I had lymphoma cancer that was supposed to be deadly and the Lord wasn't done with me, Harold. And then after that, I got crushed between two cars and the Lord still wasn't done with me. And then I got a brain abscess when my something happened back with lymphoma or something in my brain. And I got a staph infection, which led to a brain abscess, which really came close to taking my life.

He wasn't done with me yet, Harold. But each of those cases, it was a real storm. It was a real storm for Tammy too. You know, as we talked about before the break, in fact, she used to say, we can't go by Baptist Hospital. It doesn't suck you in there somehow. I bet you feel the same way, Grant, right? Like, you can't go by that place. It just doesn't suck you in there, right? You got your own room there.

But that storm is going to clear some air. Like, God is after something. He does not waste pain. He was after something in Grant's life. He was definitely something after something in Harold's life.

And he was really after something in my life. With each of those, they cleared the air in their own way. And so, I chose this because I remember the trailer to Bagger Vance, a great, great movie.

We always use it at boot camp because of these clips. And Bagger Vance is a caddy, but you're going to find out how Bagger Vance became Juna's caddy at the beginning of this, you know, at this clip. But I used the storm, a bruin, because little did Juna know that this caddy, which pretty much is the Holy Spirit, and everybody who's ever been through an illness, needs a caddy. You need the Holy Spirit to guide you because God has got, He's got some air clearing that He wants to get done.

And He's not going to waste that pain in order to bring with it, you know, whatever. Like you said, read the book of Job. He had all that stuff so that Job and he could get tight, right? Because you got to say one thing about Job. He was a lot closer to God on the other side of that situation. And I can assure you, Robby Dilmore was a whole lot closer to God after every one of the things that I described.

And because at the point in time that you realize that you don't know what golf club to use and you don't have a clue in the world how hard to hit it, you know, you need a caddy. And so here we have Bagger. That sounds a lot more like, I know you had the feeling that that was like Voorhis Gump, but that's coming later. So it was just a teaser. Show us some storm we're brewing. Who's that? Just me. Just a man trying to find somewhere to rest his tired feet, taking in some of God's glories. My, what a night. I could have killed you out there. Oh no, sir. See, I set myself directly in front of you judging by how you was hitting them balls. I figured that's where I'd be out of harm's way. Excuse me, sir.

They say you can tell a player by his grip. You want, you want some food or something, you go on into the house, help yourself. Oh, thank you kindly, sir. Yeah.

He always felt a man's grip on his club, just like a man's grip on his world. Look, is this something you want? Five dollars guaranteed.

Guarantee for what? Well, it's a big match coming up, Mr. Jones, Mr. Hagen. A fella gonna be needing a caddy. You're a caddy?

Well, it depends. You're a golfer? The trick is to find your swing.

What'd he say? Well, you lost your swing. We got to go find it. Now, somewhere in the harmony of all that is, all that was, all that will be. Wow. I ain't seen a man hit a ball like that since the North-South Championship 1916.

You know, they stopped play for 20 minutes to measure how far it went. Bagger Vance, the name. And that, they say, is how Bagger Vance became Juna's caddy.

And so the golf tournament they were talking about there that happened in 1916 was actually Juna that hit that ball that time. And of course, he would be shocked that this man that came out of the woods would know that because he'd become an alcoholic and essentially wallowing in some World War I wounds that he had demons that was chasing him throughout the movie. And so those wounds and life had gotten him to a point where he was sick, sick, real sick, sick in the heart. And he'd lost his swing because he'd kind of lost his way in life like so many of us have, but God sends storms or allows storms, however it works.

You know, I'm not exactly sure, but those storms allow us to loosen up our grip on the club. So if you get to the point where you're like, well, I can't, you know, so I will relate what I think is a hilarious story because I lived it and when I got diagnosed with cancer, right, I was a big shot in my mind, okay? I was a really important person from my perspective, okay? Because I ran a dealership that had about 100 employees and I'd climbed the ladder and I just thought I had arrived, right? And I was a really busy man.

I was a busy, busy 41 or two year old man, you know, right when you think you're at the top of your game. And I had these whelps start showing up in my skin. It's like anybody go to the dermatologist, you know, and they do a biopsy and, oh, I'm sure it's just allergic reaction to something and I'm going to take something and everything will be good, right? And so I'm back in my office, you know, about a day or two after they do the biopsy and I get this phone call, Mr. Dilmore, yeah? We need you to come down to the office. We want to talk to you about what we found in this biopsy.

And I said, well, I really don't have time to come down to the office, you know, can you not just tell me or, oh, no, no, no, this isn't anything you want to discuss over the phone. And I said, oh, I'm a big boy. I can handle it, you know, just tell me what's going on, you know, what's going on? She goes, well, sir, you have lymphoma. And of course that tested my medical knowledge immediately, like what's lymphoma?

I had no idea. And she says, well, sir, that's cancer of the lymph system. I said, I'll be right there. You see, I had a real firm grip on in my club, you know, right up into the point that like you get that throat cancer diagnosis and he goes to sell his equipment, which may not have been, but it was this way to tell you that God has told him to loosen up the clip on his game, you know, that, that here comes this storm and all of a sudden you don't have all the answers anymore. And all of a sudden, you know, you, you, you will turn to what you have to turn to. And hopefully you've been working on that relationship with God. And I had to some extent, but this was really, this is the opportunity and the error is getting fixed to get cleared, you know, one way or the other, because some people grant, take the other choice and they go to be with Jesus. Right.

And the air doesn't really get cleared, but, you know, however that works, you know, it certainly works. And so, you know, that's kind of some of my thoughts on the subject, but I'm trying to think I I'd love Andy's clip. And even though we were talking about it now, you don't want to go there when I go with let's go, let's, let's hear from him. No, we can't do that.

Cause it's set up by the other. We're going to go, we're going to go with a good old fashioned dilemma, right? What do you say? Tell me your thoughts, Rodney. Well, one of the things that when we were talking about this topic that jumped onto me is that, you know, we have to trust in God. And if you're waiting for the tragedy to happen, and then you're going to trust in God, you're probably not going to trust in God. And if you're not working on these things and thinking about what's going on in other people's lives, like we do in this brotherhood where we're talking to each other, we've understand stories that have a very large backstory to them as to, well, what went on in your life to get to that moment of tragedy, what happened before that? Cause there's a lot of things like, like you're talking about some of the things for your life, Robby, that there's also many things that happened before the tragedy got here that prepared you for that. And God has to work in each one of us differently. And just the more we sit down and understand who God is and what he does for us and trust and believe in him while everything's working well, it's going to help you when those times come that you just, it's like you just mentioned, it's unbelievable as he's sitting there at work and get that call and say, no, it's lymphoma. I'd have been the same thing.

What the heck is that? Do I take two pills and call you in the morning? What, what do you, what do I do?

But really quickly, your attention is grabbed. If it wasn't for God working your life prior to that, it's going to be very hard to work through that. And again, I, I think you're spot on with the caregiver, you know, the hope for the caregiver. What's his name again? Peter Rosenberg.

Peter Rosenberg. Beautiful stuff to listen to him and talk through that because he's done it for so long. It, it's something that it's going to build you and grow you and make you so much stronger in the midst of the battle. It's only heard from about a third of the guys. So if you want to hear from the rest of the guys, you've got to tune into the After Hours so you can get that from any podcast provider. We've got Masked on Journey After Hours on, you know, how do you walk with somebody through one of these horrible diagnosis or in the case of mental illness, we've got some of that coming on after hours and we've got Forrest Gump. You don't want to miss that, Sam. Meanwhile, we have the bootcamp coming up in November and we do have a fire in Stokesdale coming up on this Wednesday. Go to MathsOnJourney.org. This is the Truth Network.