When Your Pet Dies After Hours

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Starts here now. Welcome to the masculine journey after hours and this week's episode is how do you deal with the loss of a pet? And we've, you know, took some runs at that one in the original show, but now we're going to go a little bit deeper and a little bit older because, you know, when you have somebody that's, you know, essentially was there with those first animals that died coming off the boat. That ain't right. You know, that was tough, right? Like, man, and you had to sacrifice those clean ones. You know, that was tough, right?

Oh, it's horrible. He sounds real thrilled. So anyway, you know, seriously, Harold, you obviously have dealt with this even, you know, longer than any of us. And I happen to know because of the relationship that you have with your current dog that I would imagine that he's not the first in the line of Harold dogs.

No, I've had quite a few over the years and I got a lot of years to look over. But yeah, Jace is, he's the one now. And I recently looked at him. We looked at one another deep in the eyes.

I mean, if you can't see the love that a dog has for you by just looking in his eyes, and he won't look away. I mean, he, and I told him, I said, well, I guess it's not going to be too much longer before one of us is going to be really sad. I don't know which one it's going to I don't know which one it's going to be, but one of us will be. I got the same dilemma with that dog that I do with my wife.

I don't want to go before and I don't want to go after. Yeah, that's an interesting, yeah. You know, as you get a little older, you begin to see that coming and you're like, yeah. Yeah, I was actually, you know, we prayed that that Corgi would live, outlive my father and he did.

And we prayed that he would outlive Nelda, which he did. But, you know, that too had its, you know, eventually that catches up with us. Yeah, well, you know, you face this with your significant other or spouse in my case, but you also face it with that dog.

I mean, I hate the thoughts of him not having me to look after him, but I also hate the thoughts that I wouldn't have him to look after me, which he does. Right, which leads up to our first clip, which I'll set up a little bit because it was a clip I was supposed to play last show and I didn't. But then Harold's going to speak to it from his point of view. It's from the movie A Dog's Purpose, which fascinatingly was, I think, the last movie I saw with my dad, which he, you know, Corgi was his dog and he loved dogs. And this movie has done everything from Bailey, the dog's perspective, so that he is the narrator in the whole drama and he's talking about all that's going on. And one of the fun things that you get to enjoy is Bailey loves to play with the donkey, but the donkey, from his standpoint, is called a horse dog. And he would chase that horse dog all over the...

Anyway, at this point in time, as this clip comes on, Bailey is coming in for a landing, right? And he'd slowed down and started to lose, you know, step. And so, you know, one day he's laying on the floor, he won't eat, and here we go. Everything moved at a slower pace now, which was okay because I never felt like running anymore. I was tired all the time.

I didn't feel like playing anymore. Not even with horse dog. Hey, Bailey. Are you okay, boy? Bill?

Okay, let's see what we have here. His eyes just didn't look right. They just, they were kind of roomy and he was panting. He was, his breathing his breathing was labored.

He's also got this little lumpiness. Everyone was so sad, but I was too tired to cheer them up. Ethan? Ethan? Are you here? I can't smell you.

Where are you? Hey, Bailey. There he was. I could tell he was still sad. I didn't want him to be sad. Doodle dog.

Boss dog. I knew I was here to love Ethan and make him happy. I didn't want to leave him like this. Good boy. Good boy, Bailey. Don't worry. You just feel alone. It's tough. It's, you know, we and dogs are alike. As we age, we get into a position where we can't do what we once did.

I remember the times that I could go out and I could run wide open on a tennis court for several hours in the heat of the day. Can't do that now. And I got tickled when he said I can't smell. Neither can I. I mean, he was talking about the fact that the fellow wasn't there, but I had heard years ago, you know, that oftentimes people as they age, they do lose that sense of smell.

And it has nothing to do with COVID. You know, it's just the one thing that I can still smell really good is the dead skunk in the middle of the road. But other than that, I don't smell so well anymore. But I think it can help prepare us for our own ending by observing our dogs. It's always tough. I've lost several over the years, all the way back to elementary school and on up through college. And even since then, had several dogs, Ruff, Rusty, Igor, Shug, now Jace. And Alex was a great black lab. So I've had several dogs. And one of the things that's really sad to me on them is it seemed like in every case, I didn't really get to be there with them.

My first dog was hit by a garbage truck while I was at school. He always waited at the top of the hill for me to walk up. He wasn't there. And I never got to see him. And that's not a good thing.

We need to have that to have that separation to occur in a different way other than just not be there. So as tough as it is for you to see Corgi go, you did get to see him go. You were there. You could feel like you helped him as much as you could, as long as you could.

Yeah. So Danny, welcome. It's good to have you here. Good to be here. And so we were looking for an Andy Griffith clip, you know, of Opie Shoots the Bird or something. But what happened? Well, on my crazy schedule is we wasn't even sure I was going to be able to be here. So no Andy clip, but we will recover.

I promise. But if anybody has experienced a dog's purpose, you know, you used to raise Corgis. We did. It was a different kind of Corgi than my Corgi was actually interestingly, Andy, I don't know if you knew this. He was a half Corgi, half border collie. And so he had all those border collie and he smiled at you.

All that stuff. But you have the purebred Corgi style. Yeah. We had at one time, we had three adult Corgis.

One was a standard red and white. And the one we have now, she's a tri-colored lily bit. She's the queen of the house. She no longer, no longer a breeder. And, but she is the queen. Make no mistake about it.

If you had doubt it, she will let you know that she's the queen. And then we had Oliver was the male. And then we had Margo. I called her the, she was the hippie child because she come along. We had her when we were going through a lot with my mom and my and Michelle's father, they both passed away that year. So she didn't get the training and attention that the other two. So she just kind of hippied out and did what she wanted to do most of the time.

So, but so with the experience that you've had, Danny, how do you deal with it? Well, when you brought this topic up, I had to think about, we had a boxer when we lived in Ashboro named Dottie. She was probably the best dog we ever had. And she was playing one day. She was probably eight or nine. And we had gotten another young mailboxer and his name was banjo.

Y'all know how country I am. So, and they were playing in the yard and she come up on the porch and then all of a sudden she just starts stumbling around and just, I mean, obviously something was wrong with her. And I'm like, so we, I picked her up, she was about 65 pounds and we threw her in the car and rushed to the vet and she had had some sort of stroke or aneurysm or something. And she was, she went just stone cold blind right there in front of me. And, you know, she was going to be this kind of thing.

So made the decision right there not to let her suffer. And so we had her put down and that was probably the most traumatic day to watch my wife say goodbye to that dog. Cause I mean, that was her, Dottie was her dog and she was everybody's dog. She loved everybody, but you know, to, to know how close that you get to an animal that, I mean, you know, one of these days, you know, little bit, or, you know, there'll be other dogs, I'm sure. Cause I married the, the protege of Ellie May Clampett. Cause my wife bring home all kinds of creatures. If you let her, we have five chickens in the backyard and they were pecking at the back door the other day. So, but, um, we've had ducks, we've had all kinds of God's creatures, great and small. I think we lived on the arc at one time of heroin.

I'm pretty sure a two by two by two. Um, and, but you get so close to them and saying goodbye is really hard, but you know, the dog's life is, you know, 15 years, 16 years or, you know, less than that or something. So, you know, at some point, but it is hard.

I mean, it is like losing a family member, but you know, I mean, seeing it happen or knowing it happened, but knowing that you can say goodbye is, there is some healing in that, that, you know, I've had dogs that just disappeared. And you always wondered, we had a beagle one time that, uh, took off after a rabbit. And I guess he's still running that rabbit.

I was 12 at the time, but I guess he's still running him, but I never saw him again. And, but you know, there's no closure there. And I think that's probably what we're talking about is dealing with the closure of, okay, this chapter of my life's over.

And ironically, I had a coworker last week, they had to put their dog down and, you know, that was just kind of the, the whole thing. So. All right. Well, moving along, we have Rodney who has a very different take on all this. I'll have to say, but it's, you know, it's classic Rodney. Yeah.

I, I like kind of playing classic Rodney. Um, so when it first came in, the first thought that I had was, well, everybody's like, cause I knew I'd listened to your podcast and I'm like, Oh, so corgi must have passed because I heard the one where you had to pick him up so he could walk. And then today, when I heard the other one, I'm like, it confirmed before I got here, it was like, yep, corgi has passed. And the first thought you always had with kids and a lot of people, Oh, well my dog go to heaven and our animals there. And what's it like, well, what do we eat when we're there? Cause everybody wants to know what it's going to be like in heaven. And I think it's really good for us to think about, but the main point of heaven is who's there now it's God it's Christ and what he's done for us. And again, when you talked earlier about, well, what do you say to someone, a child or do whatever it's about with about anything you want to point into Christ, any type of suffering that's that's where you want to go is just pointing to Christ. And he had the ultimate suffering for us. And it's like, grow them in that truth that is like, here's a great chance to grow in your faith and use that as an opportunity to learn more about what God did for us and those kinds of opportunities.

And that on the other side of this, it's going to be Christ. And like you just said, Danny, there's other dogs I've went through several in my lives and it's not to be like cold and just go, Oh, just toss away. But you have to grieve.

You need to go through the process. And I completely agree that it's easier to go through that process when you're the one there watching rather than just missing it completely. My childhood dog that I had to only carry one time to get it home, because other than that, it followed me, mom, I swear. It died when I was in college and I didn't get to see the dog off, things like that. And for me, I'm just, I don't know, maybe a little more cold hearted with some of those things, but it's, I can move on. I've had to put three dogs down since being married, two purebred labs, one was a mixed lab, and that one was just this last Thanksgiving.

And it's just, it's hard at the time when you're doing it. And then again, I think it's a lot about perspective and that's where here, it's like where I really went to was we have priorities and it's so easy to turn simple things in our lives into idols and dogs. I love dogs. Cats, not so much like we kind of keep saying, other than my daughter's cat, which we talked about earlier, that it's kind of like a dog.

It comes up and sits with you and wants to be pet, loves on you. And when you have a dog doing that and you become such a companion with it, it's, it can become something that you put it above a lot of things. There's so many people that put dogs above humans, other animals above humans. And it's like, it's just a misplaced priority. And the priority comes from the authority and the authority is God and his word and what he says. And he's like, we're the ones that are made in his image. And yes, I grieve when the dogs pass, but we need to go on. And this is a clip from, uh, Groundhog Day, where Phil Conners is, has a misplaced priority when he's actually going after his producer and just trying to find out things about her just to win her affections.

Oh, cause he knows now he's going to come back every day to live the same life. What are you looking for, Phil? A date for the weekend? No, I'm just interested in you. You know, what do you want? What do you like? What do you think about? What kind of men are you interested in?

What do you do for fun? Is this for real, Phil? Are you just trying to make me look like a fool? I'm just trying to talk like normal people talk.

Isn't this how they talk? Plus. Okay, so talk to me. Let me buy you a cup of coffee and a donut.

All right. So what do you want out of life anyway? I guess I want what everybody wants. You know, career, love, marriage, children. Are you seeing anyone? I think this is getting too personal.

I don't think I'm ready to share this with you. How about you? What do you want? What I really want is someone like you. Oh, please.

Well, why not? What are you looking for? Who is your perfect guy?

Well, first of all, he's too humble to know he's perfect. That's me. He's intelligent, supportive, funny.

Intelligent, supportive, funny. Me, me, me. He's romantic and courageous. Me also. He's got a good body, but he doesn't have to look in the mirror every two minutes.

I have a great body and sometimes I go months without looking. He's kind, sensitive, and gentle. He's not afraid to cry in front of me. This is a man we're talking about, right? He likes animals, children, and he'll change poopy diapers. Does he have to use the word poopy? Oh, and he plays an instrument and he loves his mother. I am really close on this one.

Really, really close. And when we go to God in something like this, when we have these tough suffering times, you have to go in honesty though. You have to tell him really, you know, just pour it out, because that's what that relationship's about. It's somebody you can lean on and he will give you rest. Because typically, I know like Robby, you're hurting right now and it's so visible to us, but in the days to come, you'll have such great memories.

He'll give you rest because I know you'll also be diving into his word and he'll be like, yep, I'm counting on you again, God, instead of Corgi. Yep. Yeah, it's a really neat opportunity, right? That every day is an adventure in the Word and every day is an adventure in what he's teaching us. And some of those lessons come, you know, with a little sting to them.

Those tend to bring back bigger changes in life. So, we have with us now art. We don't get art very often, but I know from all the people here, I don't know of anybody that has relationship with dogs like art has. And so, I'm very interested in your perspective on how do you, art, who I know your dogs, you love, love, love your dogs, spend much time with them. How do you deal with the loss of a pet? Well, I'm all about my dogs. I have two and they go about everywhere with me.

They've even been to boot camp with me and the guys met them there. So, I'm pretty much a dog person, but in another life, I lived in the city in the townhouse and I was a cat person then. I just had cats, no dogs. And I had one in particular for a very long time that I was particularly close to and she got some age on her and got thyroid problems and I ended up letting her go. And about all I can say is, you know, the vet says, do you want to be here?

And I said, not unless you want to see a grown man cry. So, I did cry some. It hurt a lot and I sure missed that cat. But I'm thankful that I had her and that she had me and we move on and we, well, we have dogs now. So, life goes on and after the loss of a pet, it's just part of being human.

You just feel hurt, but you just deal with it. I love what you said about that, you know, the Lord gaveth and the Lord takes the way, blessed be the name of the Lord, right? He gave you this amazing cat. He gave you that relationship.

He gave, you know, Harold, you know, that first dog and Andy, you know, as you hear the stories going around the room, everybody had, right, that even the crab. But everybody, you know, the Lord had given them a chance at a perspective of life, of joy, of relationship, but he took it away. And in that, you know, there's a lesson that really is almost too intimate that you just don't go, oh, here's your answer, right?

He's got an answer for you, like he's got an answer for me, but I don't think you get it by just, you know, not digging into it and like, okay, God, help me, help my heart, you know, catch my heart. What are you trying to teach me in this? You know, what's my lesson?

So, Kenny? One thing that came to my mind, I'd forgot about, I think I was about eight years old, and I was told we had a pet pig. And I got to feed the pig.

I got to take care of the pig for a while. But I didn't realize that was my bacon up the road. As an eight-year-old, it did hit me kind of hard.

I wouldn't eat that bacon or eat that chicken. I mean, eat that sausage because, you know, at eight years old, I was processing, you know, this animal had to die for our meal so we could eat. And it really kind of shook me up as an eight-year-old. It made me think about it.

But I did, I went to a pout stage for a while. They enjoyed the bacon and all that because, you know, I think I'd growed a little closer to that hog and seen it develop, and all of a sudden, where's Tom at? Well, we took him through the butcher. It hit me a little hard because my parents are so busy just living, making a living that they didn't introduce me to death, I guess, of an animal.

I think I was the first death I actually seen. Right, right. That's usually for most children are going to experience the death of some kind of animal. Yeah, I've seen it as a pet instead of this is part of our livelihood. I didn't understand that at that age, and we have to understand that too with the animals, and we're blessed to be able. Right, and I think that's a lesson for all of us as parents, right?

That be sensitive to the fact that, yeah, you may have dealt with a lot of things, but, you know, that child is trying to deal with something, you know, right? Right, Danny? Yeah, and back to Rodney's point where he says some people put dogs ahead of humans. There are days when I'd rather hang out with my dog than most humans. I'm just saying.

Yeah, I'm with you. Like there, you talked about the preparation. If we really said, okay, we know death's coming. Instead of being scared of it and running from it, we would talk about it kind of openly with the kids when they're younger and just start feeding them a little bit of here's, again, God's word. What does it say about those times and those periods and things that happened because, you know.

Is it time to live and time to die? Yeah, and growing up knowing that animals were killed so I could eat them would have made that easier for me because when we butchered something, it was like, okay, it wasn't that big of a shock. I like that, but Solomon didn't say anything about there was a time to play with horse dog.

Yes, Andy. I was just sitting here thinking, can you imagine being back in the day when they sacrificed and a lot of those animals were close to the families, particularly the lambs and stuff, and that had to be hard and you had to have a perspective. Plus, though, you had a greater appreciation. The sacrifice was to represent that life was being given for the forgiveness of sin, so you had an appreciation for life and, therefore, you had an appreciation for that animal that gave its life.

Just something to think about because it got me on where you were talking about the hog and being slaughtered and whatever. Absolutely. So, again, we're so grateful for your listening and, again, obviously we want to meet you personally. We want to spend time with you, but in order to do that, you've got to come to a boot camp.

Yeah, be like Art's dog and come to a boot camp. Yeah, there you go. And we've got one coming up on November 16th.

It's actually the week before Thanksgiving. Go to masculinejourneyradio.org. That's masculinejourneyradio.org. And we might see Sam back in two, three weeks. Hard to say, but we're hoping at some point. This is the Truth Network.