Spiritual Eye Exam After Hours

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This is the Truth Network. Coming to you from an entrenched barricade, deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast. So, sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here, now.

Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours. We are really glad that you're with us today, and Danny, I know you're glad that they're with us because it's your topic. Do you want to tell us a little bit more about it? I know the name of it. Tell us, Sam.

What's the name of it? Spiritual Eye Exam. I have that one down now. I have the ears to hear.

If you don't know that reference, go listen to the first show and you'll find out why. But, Danny, tell us a little bit about this topic of Spiritual Eye Exam. The thought occurred to me that how I see myself as opposed to how God sees me and the comparison between the two.

So, kind of a Spiritual Eye Exam is, you know, what glasses am I looking through when I'm examining myself? Well, you missed another player in the equation there. You just said you and God. There's another person that tries to tell you how to see yourself. Oh, the enemy, yes. Yeah. Yeah, he screams loudly. Yeah, you go back to the old TV shows with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other and it's kind of who's screaming at you the loudest. And they both look like you. That's kind of scary.

Yeah, it is kind of scary. Well, we've had a great first show and we're going to hopefully continue with stories and some great questions that Danny has. But first, Rodney, we have your clip that we'd like to set up. Yes, your clip made the cut this week. Miracles upon miracles. It is. It is.

Your prayers are answered, my son. All right, I'm going to stick to the clip because there's some stuff from what you guys are talking about in the first show that's like, wow, kind of had a little, you know, revelation myself about identity and what people say, speak into. Won't you share that? Then we can do the clip.

We got time. Well, you guys were talking like, you know, here's what I hear, which is bad, but yet I'm better than that. I'm more than that, right? Like the enemy says bad things. Well, I was like thinking, because even in my talk, I was like, okay, well, most of the time what people said to say about me, my aunts, my cousins, my uncles, my mom and dad, my friends was generally really positive. I was well thought of.

I, you know, I got no trouble. I, you know, I was always kind of always praised for being adult when I was a kid and just always put a little higher than what I thought I was. I was sitting there thinking while you guys were there, I was like, you were trying to tell me all along, but I wouldn't listen.

Right, Lord? I was something that I wasn't thinking I was, which is a little opposite. So there's other people in that camp also that are like, yeah, I've had people say positive things about me, but I just wouldn't believe it.

I wouldn't go there. The enemy and his lies and what the world says just wouldn't let me ever believe that I was more than what I thought of myself. The other part of that is you're probably still wearing a mask. And so you can't feel the love through the mask. Yeah.

When I look in the mirror, I see something completely different than what everybody else sees. Right. And now that God's helping you take that down, you can say, oh, that's really what was going on. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So in that vein of worldliness, because when this topic came up, that's where my mind went was, well, there's, there's two sides.

There's worldly and there's godly. And that's where even tonight I was just trying to make sure that is that where you're really wanting to go with the topic, Danny? But, and where I went was, well, yeah. What, how do I see myself?

Cause it's depends on what time of day and what the way the wind's blowing. And I, you know, what's the situation like you were saying earlier in the previous show. And so what I kind of concluded with was there's something worldly. So I just kind of looked up how I see myself or something like that.

And next thing I saw was this Jordan Peterson clip. He was how you see yourself as his, he did a topic, I guess on it, but this was an excerpt from it. That was just a Q and a, and he just a little bit of him answering it. And you'll hear him go over a bunch of things and every once in a while, he'll hit on a little nugget of truth. And most of the time he's just kind of rambling about stuff.

And a lot of people, you know, kind of end up idolizing this guy, you know, in a way that, oh, he's just so brilliant, but he just, he misses the truth. He gets really close. He swings, you know, he gets a little tangential touch to the truth and he hit, he hits on a little bit of nugget, but he goes off. So what happens in this clip is he's talking about how he's reacting to the question. And then he, the thing that you're not going to hear in the clip is that he goes off about seeing a stack of different things. Before we get to that, you know, we're all sitting there going, if you've been around Jim a little too much, cause Tans gentle, you don't know what a tangent is.

I know what a tangent is, but I've never heard Tans gentle. Yeah. Okay. Something, you know, swings by something and just barely greases by it and just hits it like a tangent tangential relationship. And Jim knew, I knew he'd know exactly. I'm sorry. I want to be on the same page. I'm God, but not tangential week brought to you by Jim Graham's encyclopedias.

But there's a point. So what he does at the end, he's talking about, you know, you're not going to get this. Like he's talking about a stack of papers on your desk.

So he had a little diatribe about a stack of papers that I cut out of the middle of it. But that's where he's like, you, you can't even face up to that, but there's just, as you listen to this, you'll find some things that are a little bit of nuggets of truth and a bunch of stuff. That's just somebody trying to explain something they don't know anything about in terms of potential. Well, you'll discover a little bit more about your potential as you discover who you are, especially the darker parts of yourself, because then you discover your potential for mayhem. There's some real utility in that. It's actually something that strengthens you because the first thing that a realization like that can in fact produce is the ambition to incorporate that dangerousness into a higher order of personality. And that can make you implacable. I can make you someone who can say no, when you need to say no, you know, that can make you someone who won't avoid necessary conflict.

And so that's unbelievably useful. And so that's one of the potentials that you might discover. The other thing you do to discover your potential is to, well, you challenge yourself, you know, it's like rule four in my book, 12 rules for life is compare yourself to who you were yesterday and not who someone else is today.

And that's kind of a good way to start this. It's like, well, take a bit of a look at yourself and think about what's not so good that you could improve, that you should improve by your own standards and that you would improve, you know, and set yourself a little goal. It's a humble goal because really, are you such a coward that the best that you can bloody well manage after a month of avoidance is 15 seconds of exposure to a stack of paper? You know, it could easily be you've been avoiding it, you're obviously afraid of it.

And so the situation could be that dismal and dire. And you might think, well, geez, it's no bomb to my ego. It's not fostering the strength of my ego to recognize myself, someone who could only withstand 15 seconds of exposure to that thing I'm afraid of. And so that's a form of humility too. So in there, it's just interesting how, you know, like, okay, don't compare yourself to others is kind of what he said in there.

It's like, yeah, that's right. That's not how we really should live. We compare ourselves to God. And that's where we know, really see who we really are. But then he talks about ego and other things. It's just, well, if all we're going to sit around and do is just puff up our own ego, that's not going to get us anywhere near truth. That's just going to take us right down what we were talking about earlier, like for me, which is me on negative side and other people, you know, getting brought down from the enemy too, and others around them and society and stuff like that. You just, when you start listening to people just ramble on, like I'm doing now, and you get into just, oh, I can just keep talking and talking. I got stuff thrown out because he's got so much round around his head.

People start thinking that's truth. And it's just, it's just a distance, long distance away from that. Yeah.

A little bit of him goes a long way. Yeah. There was that nugget in the middle, right? Right. I feel very implacable.

Yeah. I feel like I need a dictionary. Jim wants to say something. No, I want Danny to say something first. Danny, what'd you call it? It was the best off air comment we've had today.

What do we call when there's a word we don't know? It comes from Encyclopedia, Jim Tannica. Well, I understood his words.

Every once in a while, he went places that I didn't really want to follow and couldn't follow, but I was very impressed. So help me with implacable. What is that? I don't know. Are you sure? I'm saying that. Yeah. I was going to say that you're, you're confusing me. I got to focus on Andy right now.

Okay. You can't be moved. If it's implacable Andy.

Well, he can be moved. Um, Andy, I, I've always thought of you as a very bright guy, but this guy is highly intelligent. He knows more words than are useful and I'm accused of that every once in a while.

But he said, you know, at least half a dozen times. So you guys are in the same class. I love it. Thank you for bringing that up. Yeah.

You know, that's a good point. So what is implacable? What is implacable? You're unmovable.

I went limp. Unlike the microphone. Yeah. It was lost your luster there. So, um, when we go to his clip, his clip being Andy, I guess if you can't see what I'm pointing to, Andy, what's your clip? Well, it's a little bit less, um, philosophical, I would say. No, it's from, um, kingdom of heaven and it's about the crusades. It's about Balian. He's this young guy that, um, has basically been drawn into battle and, uh, he meets up with his father who's been off doing crusades and they didn't even really know one another and they're at the camp together. And basically the father leads him into battle training and that's really what it is.

And I, you know, the point about where, well, I'll just talk about that on the way you get back. Yep. Pick it up. Let's see what you're made of.

His hand is hurt my Lord. I once fought two days with an arrow through my testicle. Never use a low guard. You fight well. Let's work on your skills. Take a high guard like this.

The Italians call it La Posta di Falcone, the guard of the hook. You strike from high. Do it.

Come on back. Bend your knees. So it's straight up. Defend yourself. Blade isn't the only part of a sword.

Attack. So what I saw in the clip is, you know, when Danny said, how do you see yourself? You know, for a long time, I felt looked at myself as somebody that had been around the Christian faith for a long time, but I didn't really see myself as a warrior or somebody of strength. And I think, you know, it's like when the father came into my life and really became my father, the identity, you know, one of the names he gave me was from my given name, which is Andrew, which means man, manly and strength, which I always felt I had lacked. But, you know, and then, but before then, the first name I got at bootcamp was mighty warrior, which to me, I was like, I don't even know the context of that. You know, it was just getting initiated to bootcamps and stuff. And, and really that I just feel like that is where I'm at, where Balian was, he's been introduced to the father and he's learning, just picking up the sword and learning how to swing it, how to keep it high, you know, how to use more than the sword, just the blade, you know, those kinds of things. And it's a work in progress. And, but that, you know, that there's things that I still fail at in battle, but there's also some successes that I've had since.

So it's, it's, you know, I don't think we, anybody arrives. I think we're all, this is a journey that we'll continue on until we pass. But just the strength that I have that I didn't have from a father coming into my life to teach me how to battle. That's good. You know, I think the irony of that clip for me was I never heard it when, or seen it when we're doing it, the father gives him the advice of never use a low guard. If you think he would have used a low guard, it would have helped him with that whole arrow problem. Just saying, maybe a low guard, optional low guard, we did eat it when an arrow's coming, that place.

Maybe the son should be teaching the father. Always use a low guard. I'm just saying always use a low guard.

That would have been my advice. That would be a tangential, would it? It would be a tangential and passable moment, I'm thinking. Tangential. Yeah. I can't spell either one of them, so it doesn't matter.

Yeah. So Danny, you had some questions or questions. A couple of lead in thoughts and basically a question with stories behind it, if we can. So think about the things you've thought and believed about yourself over the years and think about the things you know God has spoken to your life, either through scripture, through people, because my life is glittered with amazing people who have spoken. How do they compare and share a story relating to God coming after the true you? Interestingly enough, the other morning I was praying and so often I wanted to be somebody else other than who I am. And even there's a song by Jonathan Heltzer, it says, you know, I want the heart of Mary, I want the ears of Samuel. And I was thinking about that song and I thought so often I pray I want to dig into Hebrew like Robby, you know. I want to be the adventurous prayer warrior like Andy. But God, I think, just kind of led me into what about if you pray that I want to be what you designed me to be. I want to have the heart of Danny that God gave. I want to have the ears of Danny that you made.

And show me how to walk that life out. That's really good, so good. Anyone else have a thought on it? Well actually when Danny came out with that question, I just, that was a great question. And he hit us right before we went to the After Hours show and I thought, gee God, where have you come after me and who you think I am? And I'd been working on this recently but he really hit me between the eyes with a new name that I had not realized which is The Voice. Because when he originally called me to do the Christian Car Guy show, you know, I didn't do didn't do public speaking. I didn't really speak, well I spoke on occasion. But I remember the night when he came and I said, God if you heard my voice, you know, people go to college to learn on the radio, you know, how to use their voice, that kind of stuff.

I don't know that. And he was very clear. He said, trust me, you have the voice.

I want the voice. And so as I was studying to do this Seder that Andy came in and the Herald last week, I came across this rabbi was teaching on why they pray their prayers in unison. You know, if you ever go to a Seder, all the people are praying the blessings all at the same time. And maybe you go to a church where people recite things. And he said to God, your voice is a sapphire. That, you know, it's like that voice that you've been dying to hear, like he's dying to hear your voice. And so often when you pray silently, he would really like to hear your voice because he created it with a voice. And as I was sitting there thinking, man, God, you really like my voice. And, you know, sometimes when I pray in the car nowadays, I, since I'm quoting the 119 Psalms, Danny pointed out, you know, I really get into it and I'm, you know, I'm really talking, I'm giving him the whole voice, like the whole deal. And I've realized what kind of freedom there is in that. And I realized that he really thinks of me. He put me in radio because he knew what it would be for my heart, which I never would have known in a billion years that in spite of overcoming what it took to get on the radio, as far as my own fears and all those kinds of things, what it has done for my heart and my life to be the voice, which, you know, one of my favorite verses in the Bible is, or certainly the book is the Song of Solemn, but one of the coolest things at the very end of the eighth chapter of the Beloved, in other words, here's the bridegroom, this is Jesus.

And what's the last thing that he says to the bride, which I think is critical for all of us to hear? Let me hear your voice, right? And so when I'm praying, I'm thinking, man, I'm gonna have to do a lot more of that. Say it.

There's my two cents. Well, you're saying that it's funny that one of the people I've wanted to be more like is Robby. And finally, God got tired of me saying that. And he said, no, I want you to be Jim. I've got a Robby.

And then I was thinking, yeah, and one Robby is plenty. But, but it is often that we do compare ourselves with others. And that's what we want. And you guys did, I saw you looking up. I think I saw you looking up implacable during the break. So we'll let you give a better definition later.

Mine's hazy. But I pursued knowledge for many years. And I really was geeky enough that I was reading dictionaries and encyclopedias.

And I made the mistake of sharing that with my brother. So you're going to hear more that more often than you want to. But I learned about 30 years ago, which was less than half my life ago. So it seems fairly recent that the pursuit of knowledge is not that important.

We need to be pursuing wisdom. And it doesn't take a great brain to do that. And I thought I had a great brain and I used to take a lot of pride in that.

But after losing my keys today and my phone twice, one time it was in my back pocket and my pocket knife and it's something else I couldn't find that now I've forgotten about my brain's getting kind of soft and that's okay because I've got God and that's enough for any of us and anybody that can see themselves through God's eyes. First of all, you're seeing a true picture because that's what you're going to be for eternity and you are perfect in his eyes thanks to what Jesus did for us. So all of us are perfect and all of us are unique, not very unique.

That's two words you shouldn't use together but you hear all the time on the radio. But we're all unique and we're all the way God made us and we're all perfect and Sam can't wait to jump on me for that so I'm gonna let go now. It was a very unique opinion and so I'm very happy with that. You know, for me the way God's been coming after me, this year is different. It's through the word of the year. Ironically, I was not a proponent of the word of the year.

Robby was the champion of it. I was a complacent participant. You know, it was like, all right, I have to have a word, you know, and God makes me keep the same word for a couple years.

You guys have heard that before because I just didn't do anything with it. He's like, okay, you're not getting away from the word. And so this year, you know, I took it in and I said, okay, God, I'm gonna walk with you in this and it's the word talents, you know, and he's challenged me not to hide, not to step back. You know, there's times that I know God's called me into leadership or called me into a situation that I really didn't want to do and so I'd shy away from it, you know, and so this year I've been stepping into those opportunities. And I think at some point on the other side of it he'll have a name for me, but what I'm really enjoying right now in the midst of it is as I step into these things that I feel like he's calling me to do, you know, I'll get an opportunity to pray about it and I'll go with what he says.

And I'm finding just new passions, new humbleness along the way. You know, he'd asked me, I'd gotten asked to participate in a ministry that the church I go to does with a food pantry and with clothing, free thing there to help lead some of the stuff in it. And I prayed about it, God said, yeah, and I spent the last two Saturdays there with the people who that is their passion and just how humbling it is and how grateful I feel to be a part of something that they're doing, you know, just a small part. I was packing boxes last week for the the people coming in and just the humbleness of thank you for letting me serve in this way, you know, and awakening some things in me that I never knew were there.

Not that I didn't have compassion for people that needed things, but in a totally different way. And so, you know, for me, I know he's going to have an identity part, a piece, a nugget, but right now I'm just enjoying the ride and saying, okay, God, where are we going? Yeah, I've got a couple of different things, but I think the time I was feeling pretty low as a father leader and things of that nature. And then the boot camp where Ben asked me to baptize him was one of those things that, you know, however, God orchestrated that to come into my life at that time was just one of the most self-loathing things. The first thing I was like, I can't do it.

That's the very first thought that I had. I'm going to blow it. I'm not going to get it right. I'm not, I don't know what to do. And I'm like, just allowed God to kind of work with me. Again, I went back to, because the boot camp prior, I got my wound and I'm like, okay, because I was living in, okay, I am a son of God. That's where I'm at. That's who I am. And I was trying to do as authentically as I could to live in that and not just say it, but actually mean it, feel it, live it and walk in that.

And so I was like, okay, well, what do I need? I was like, I don't need to do anything. I just need to be myself, let it come and just have a baptism in front of all of you guys at the camp and have you guys participating in that was just wonderful. It was great for me to get to do that with my son, with the other men that I love there too. And just the way God came after my heart to just say, this is a moment that I have for you is just a beautiful gift. Thank you. Sid, you had a couple.

What's the other one? Well, it was really the camp prior where I got that wounding. I was just in a season of really praying and like, what do you have for me?

What is it that you see in me? Because I didn't want to go to the wound. I didn't want to go to my new name.

It wasn't a place that I wanted to go. I was just more open to, okay, God, I want to just listen in here and understand what you have for me. Where do I need to get some healing and restoration? And basically you went down that path of, well, all those times when you were kind of felt ignored and all this kind of stuff is like, it's just like, you just don't matter. And it kind of, he put a lot of things into my memories of things that had happened that said, this is what you were feeling.

You're just feeling like you don't matter, but you do. You're my beloved son. That's very cool. Andy, we got just a little bit of time.

You have something? I guess one thing was when I got back from bootcamp this time, I was talking to, it was, you know, there was a heavy emphasis on identity at the bootcamp and I was talking to my daughter and a friend of hers about identity. And we were talking about one of her friends, Daniel was having his birthday and I was like, I gave him Danny's name, you know, God, God is your judge. And then I started talking a little bit about my name and my identity and strength and manliness in my, and I said, I never felt like I was, but then I gave, you know, the, the example of where he gave me my new name and my daughter was like, yeah, I've always seen, I see you as a very strong man. And I just didn't expect to hear that from her. There's more to it, but, uh, it was just, it was cool that that, how that worked out. Thank you, Andy. Uh, thanks for listening. We hope that you'll join us next week. We're going to be talking, I think about spiritual hearing. If I could say it right, go to masculinejourney.org. This is the Truth Network.