Interview With God Part Drew After Hours

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This is the Truth Network. Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast. So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here now. Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours, and we are talking about the upcoming boot camp and how we would answer Jesus' question, what would you want from me?

Do you want to get well? You know, those types of things. And that comes from, I think, both Matthew and Luke, is it? Yes. Actually, John, Chapter 5. Oh, yeah.

Well, it is one of those four. It's in the Gospels. It's in the Gospels.

Just read the Gospels. We're calling it Interview with God, Part Drew. Yeah, we are. And we didn't get to that in the regular show, but we are going to get to it in this show, and it will make some more sense.

Isn't that right, Ne? Just kidding, Rodney. But no, Andy, when we left the regular show, you were telling us about the Bagger Vance clip that you were going to play here in a second. Will you want to set that back up for us? Yeah, I'll do it again, since Sam, he didn't realize he had ran out of timeouts. He didn't get out of bounds, and so the time route on the clock in the last show – I could play for the Dallas Cowboys. We'd be good to go. Exactly.

Clock management. So anyway, well, it gives me some reprieve, because I set it up improperly, told the wrong names. But it's from Bagger Vance, and Juna is a World War I veteran who comes back. All his friends in his squad or whatever were killed, and he has like this survivor's remorse, and he can't get over it. He's stuck in life. His relationship with this beautiful girl has went by the wayside. He's a drunk.

He doesn't have any motivation, and he's stuck. And we have this mystical character that comes in – thank you, Sam – mystical character that comes in and kind of gives him some guidance as he's playing in this really important tournament, and we'll just go with a clip and then talk about it on the other side. So on that clip, I missed the assignment. I focused a lot of my stuff on stuff I've experienced in boot camp and not so much the forward as I probably should have, but I feel like they still give you a flavor of what you can expect from boot camp, because part of this stuff I didn't really go after and say what – I didn't consciously – the stuff I'm going to talk about on this show, I didn't consciously necessarily say, Jesus, what would you do for me? I knew I was messed up, and I needed some help. So on this one, you know, this to me is just – I'd lost a lot of orientation in my life.

I needed some help. I knew that, and I was kind of stuck, because I'd walk with God, but just because you walk with God, sometimes you don't get things. Things don't really get down in your spirit, and you really understand Danny was talking about it on the earlier show, and that he's learning now what he's taught all his life, and that's some of what I've had is I've taught things, I've known things, but sometimes they don't really become a part of you, and that's what we get a lot out of boot camp. You go deeper than what you normally would, and then you get along with God, and that makes things – that puts it all together for you. It's taken it, as we've talked about on the show, and you hear it elsewhere, it's taken it from that place where it's in your head down into your heart. It's something you know to be true, but you don't know it because you personally experience it.

You know it because you've been told it, you've seen it before, you may have experienced little flavors of it, but now it's time to go in for the full course meal and really dig in. Now, you also had another clip that you brought us, and it was from a totally different perspective. It was. Right, it's from the TV show The Office, which is – I think this is our first Office clip, isn't it?

Have we had one? No, I don't think so. Yeah, I think it is, yeah. So I'd never watched The Office until this past year, and my daughter and other people have been talking to me, oh, it's funny, and I started watching it, and it was like – this is some corny comedy, but there was some stuff, there was over-the-top stuff, but I was watching it one night, just watching reruns, and this came on, and I felt like it was art imitates life because I felt like this guy, my name happens to be Andy. So just in the clip, you have a guy that's got some anger issues and kind of how he is not real happy with that. He's trying to do whatever he can to change things to make it not like he's turned over a new leaf or whatever.

So I can really identify with it. Well, you've got to give him a little bit more than that as far as the drew, right? Right. Right. So his name is Andrew, which I didn't pick that up until – so he's trying to change his name in order to change his identity and not be the angry person.

So as he walks in, everybody thinks he's Andy, like we think you're Andy, and that's why it's interview with God part drew. Right, exactly. It is. In this clip where we pick up the clip, I think it was like four or five months earlier in the show, he had gotten mad, punched a wall, right? And he had to leave and go do anger management. Right. Right. And so we pick up, he's coming back to the office for the first time.

Right. Good morning, Pam. Oh, welcome back, Andy. Drew. I'm Drew now. Oh, Drew. Sorry.

Apology not accepted because it wasn't even necessary in the first place. Several weeks ago, Andy Bernard had an incident. But after five weeks in anger management, I'm back and I've got a new attitude and a new name and a bunch of new techniques for dealing with the grumpies. Morning, Jim. Hey, Andy. How are you, man? Good. Drew.

What's that? Drew. You can call me Drew. No, I'm not going to call you that. I can't control what you do.

I can only control what I do. Andy. Drew. So, Drew, tell us a little bit about that clip.

All right. Time of vulnerability right here. So that really happened almost exactly like me, including the name. There are times, or there was a time, you know, I started getting into the masculine journey message and coming to boot camps whenever me and my wife separated. And shortly after that, I was wanting to change. I got an opportunity to go back to a company I'd worked to before, and I went back there and I thought, okay, man, this is great. I'm going to kind of go back up, march up the company ladder and, you know, get my validation that way.

That's what I was looking for. And it was like constantly being challenged with anger issues within the office place. So I kind of got a reputation and got some names that I didn't really, it was all in good fun, but I was, I mean, I think I got Angry Birds, Tasmanian Devils, a couple of other things. And it really was, I started thinking, you know, gosh, whenever I would have an outburst or whatever, I didn't feel good about it, obviously. And there were times I just wanted a new name, a new start.

I could totally identify with this dude, you know, really. And I wanted to take on the name Drew too. I mean, that was an easy way to do it.

I mean, that's my given name. So anyway, there's that anger issue. I really didn't go and say, Jesus, I want, I knew I had a bunch of stuff to work on. So I didn't take specifics and I didn't, and Jesus, I don't remember him saying, okay, we need to work on this anger issue this way. But how I feel like I got a lot of victory in that was, so I've got this anger issue.

So I'm progressing through the, the content. You learn something new every bootcamp. Well, on the new name, everybody wants to hear their name.

Everybody wants to hear from God. And sometimes that's a challenge because if you're not used to hearing that it can be a challenge. So I was praying one time and I was like the third bootcamp and I'd had some different names, but nothing just seemed to really make my identity. And so I was out in the woods and God said, look up your real name, your given name. So I looked up Andrew and I'd always, I felt like I didn't have strength to hold back this anger. And so it, it said strength and I'd always felt like I was not a very strong man. I was weak in what I could provide for others or, or how I interacted with others. I just didn't see myself as a strong man. And when I saw that, it really made a difference in my life. I mean, I really felt like I had an identity where I had been attacked where I thought I was weak. God said I was strong. And so, you know, over, Rodney mentioned it last week, you really, I felt like I got started at that point. I got contentment. I got a, you know, okay, if God says this about me, I don't care what everybody says about. And I just learned, I just, after that, I just had a lot more peace in just interacting with people.

I don't know how to, how to say it. It's just that identity was a foundation for a lot of the other things that I experienced in my healing and growth through going to boot camps. Darrell Bock Thank you for sharing. I do want to ask you a question real quick.

Now you've had two weeks to study the topic. What are you asking Jesus for at this boot camp? Reg Grant I'm still living off the new name. Darrell Bock You don't have to answer. I'm just saying, be thinking about it. Reg Grant I will.

I will. Darrell Bock Because it is, it's something that, to go in with anticipation. God's going to give us something either way, but to go in with an anticipating heart.

Reg Grant Well, a lot of times it does tie, we talked about a lot of times it ties into the talk you're doing. Well, I've done the same one the last three times in love at Sonship. To me, God has become so real in the last year and a half in that, in that idea, that message.

I mean, it's really the foundation of the Bible. He's constantly calling us, so where are our children? But we don't walk like children a lot of times. So there are things, like when I'm doing the talk, that I've gone back in deeper. I have to go back deeper into my childhood. Is there anything else there, God, that can help somebody else?

And usually I get some form of healing in that. I mean, I can tell you from last time, there was some new stuff, even though I'd done the talk two other times. Darrell Bock Yeah, there's always something new. Rob, do you want to say something? Reg Grant Well, I'll say real men with anger management go into kickboxing. Don't they kick, they kick boxes around their office.

Did you ever try that? Maybe I'll go that way, if you're a real man. Darrell Bock That's the herald method. Reg Grant Yes. We got a lot of anger management going on in this room all the time. We're men.

And that goes with the territory sometimes. Darrell Bock Yeah, we did it. That show Mad Men actually was real popular podcast.

Reg Grant Yeah, it was pretty good. We learned a lot about people. Well, I guess it's kind of my turn to share a little bit, right? So I was thinking about it. And initially, I was thinking, well, I don't know. What do I want to share on the radio? I mean, I've got a laundry list of things, God, that you could really work on.

But what do I feel comfortable sharing? And so I actually picked this clip kind of initially to pose, to be quite honest, because it was a good, you know, answer I could give and sound somewhat deep. Darrell Bock It's always fun to pose.

Reg Grant Yeah, but God wouldn't let me stay there. Right? So I'm gonna go ahead and play the clip. And there's a lot of truth in the clip of what I want God to give me in boot camp and to bring to me in boot camp. But it's from Braveheart.

It's about a 40 seconds scene. And we're just going to listen to it and come back and talk about it. Darrell Bock The prisoner wishes to say a word. Freedom! And that really is what my heart wants.

It wants to be free from the things that hold me captive. And to go a little deeper than that, you know, why? Why God after all these boot camps and all this breakthrough and all these truths and these agreements you've helped me break, does anger still feel like one of my best friends when it shouldn't? To be quite honest, you know, that's, it's my first response. Not with my kids anymore. Not in certain things.

There's been lots of healing there. But oh my gosh, put me in a car. Put me in something where I got to take these fat fingers and try to put two little parts together. And I'm gonna get really angry really quick, you know? And God, why is that my default wiring? Why does it feel that way?

I know it's not true. But why is that true about me? Why after all this time is lust still a struggle if I'm not really, really careful? How after since 2000, whatever it was, two, 18 years ago, I went to my first boot camp, something like that.

And lust is still a struggle if I'm not careful. How am I still here? And I don't know which one he's going to choose to work on.

He may choose to work on something completely different. I think part of my not wanting to get a clip more descriptive was partially wanting to pose, you know, a little bit and not have to go deep and talk about some of the things. But I also think that part of it was I went to my second boot camp with a checklist of things God and I were going to talk about. Right? And I didn't hear anything from him until the very last day until I let down and said, okay, God, whatever you want to talk about, I just want to hear your voice. Right? And all he said was I'm here. And I started bawling like a baby.

Right? That's all I needed to know, you know? And so I don't want to go in with this, okay, God, you're going to answer some questions. It's got to be my agenda, you know? But I also want to be open and say, God, I know my heart needs freedom because there's something that's still in my past, something's still there that needs to be broken through to where I can get a greater depth of freedom next week, you know, and the week after and the week after. And so that's really what my heart's crying for. I don't really care what it is.

I just want something that's going to lead me closer to that path of freedom. You know, he's been having me work on spiritual warfare that I talked about, I think, in the last show. And he's keeping me focused on the movie Groundhog Day, you know? And I think the whole reason is I think if I had a new name, it should be Phil.

It should be Phil Connors, you know, because I realize that I'm more like him than I want to be. I try to make life work for me, you know? Yes, I give some things to God, but boy, I'm so quick to grab it back or to say, well, I really want to have it go my way in a certain way and I think it should go this way, you know? And maybe some of the stuff that I still struggle with in spiritual warfare, some of the stuff that I struggle with that I just talked about is because I still try to control way too much. You know, in that movie, when he quit focusing on making life better for him and truly focused on making it better for all those around him, his life got better. And I think that's something that God's got for me that, again, I don't know that that's going to make it to the stage. But I know that that's a part of where I'm focusing and that will help me lead to some freedom.

Darrell Bock You know, we use the clip, the butterfly surface. Well, the whole movie is just outstanding and it's a story about Nick who doesn't have any arms and legs, but the more I've watched it as I'm working on this particular talk, the more I realized that the real star of this particular show is not Nick. It's the ringmaster or the head of the circus who is going about trying to spot people's glory, their special sauce, and then call it out, you know, in whatever that way that he may do that. And, you know, when I think about you and Darren and Mark and different people as we have been in boot camps and stuff that have called out those things in me and more than that, taught me what that was to actually look for God's glory, you know, his image and other people, like what a gift that is. And it really is 2 Corinthians chapter one just lived out right in front of your eyes that really encompasses so much the Bible collects all these things where it basically says the God of all comfort comforts us that we might comfort others with the comfort we were comforted with, which, you know, is kind of a tongue twister. Darrell Bock It's a Dr. Seuss-ish kind of thing.

Darrell Bock Yeah, I like it. But, you know, because Danny was, you know, struggled with alcohol, and God called him to help other people because he was comforting others with what he had been comforted with. And, you know, I think about how many things, Sam, you have covered me with struggles that you went through that were enormous breakthroughs for me in lust, in anger, you know, these things. And, oh, my God, Groundhog Day is alive and well at the Dilmore household. So, you know, are we here again, God?

You know, like, doesn't it seem like we were just here last week? But the beauty of it is, from my standpoint, it's still going deeper into a relationship with him. And as I go deeper into the relationship with him, even though I may not be getting whatever healing that I would be hoping for, I am getting closer to God than I was a week ago.

And that alone has tremendous value. Dr. Darrell Bock And I think something you talked about, and I think it was a previous show, it wasn't this show, but, you know, just the concept tonight that you brought out as we were talking before the show and then on the show about self-control. You know, part of the issue is I try to control anger on my own. Yes, healing has fixed a lot of anger for me. Healing has fixed a lot of things.

And I don't struggle there, but I still struggle in anger, right? Just it's a different way. It's more things than people, right, than it used to be.

It wasn't pretty before. But, you know, there's been a lot of healing and a lot of progress and a lot of things to be grateful for. But I think it's still, you know, I need to continue to turn and rely on him for both of those topics, right? Because anything I try to do on my own is just going to fall at some point.

It's good for a season, but it's not going to last forever. Dr. Darrell Bock All right, time to read something. Dr. Darrell Bock Oh, absolutely. Dr. Darrell Bock Your time managing well? Dr. Darrell Bock Oh, that's far enough.

From what I can tell right now, yeah. Dr. Darrell Bock Do we need to call a time out or something? Dr. Darrell Bock Keith's not shaking his head at me at the moment, so I think we're good. Dr. Darrell Bock I read this at my grandmother's funeral, and it fits so well. I think it's called life's weaving, if you've ever heard it. It's called my life is but a weaving between my Lord and me.

I may not choose the colors. He knows what they should be, for he can view the pattern upon the upper side, while I can see it only on this, the underside. Sometimes he weaves his sorrow, which seems strange to me, but I will trust his judgment and work on faithfully. Tis he who feels the shuttle.

He knows just what is best. So I shall weave in earnest and leave with him to rest. At last when life is ended, with him I shall abide. Then I may view the pattern upon the upper side.

Then I shall know the reason why pain with joy entwined was woven in the fabric of life that God designed. Dr. Darrell Bock Oh, thank you. Dr. Darrell Bock Amen. Dr. Darrell Bock So, Drew.

Dr. Darrell Bock That's true. I didn't even have to say it. Look at that.

Heart, Drew. No, I think I'm like you on the anger. There's a settledness that comes in, and I feel like I don't get mad at people as much, but you're right.

I was thinking about that. You know, it says be angry and sin not. You know, when I yell at my hands not being able to perform something or whatever because of all my thumbs or whatever, driving is obviously one. You know, I probably don't look at that as much as like, okay, at least nobody's being hurt by it, you know. But I think it still is something in your heart that you need to address because if it's in there, it'll likely come out eventually. So I think that's, again, it's a continuing process of really dealing with those things. You think about it now.

It was people that he got mad at, but when Moses struck the rock the second time because he was ticked off, you know, it came out, and it actually ended up being a sin for him, and I think we do need to be conscious of that. I think the thing, though, that boot camp does is you have so many things to grow in that you become much more settled than you ever were before, and I know this is what I know. I thought a lot of times in my Christian life, why am I not settled? Why am I not confident?

Why is everything up and down like a stock ticker, you know? And it just, the feeling of having more of a confidence and a trust, again, I don't, I want to give specifics. I don't want to be, but this is really, this is life to me. I mean, I just do not feel like I'm so up and down, so out of control, like what you were saying, Robby. It just gives me a confidence because I know I'm a son first.

I have an identity, and he's working on my wounds, and, you know, he's taken me someplace. And I think as guys, we struggle, most of us struggle with, we're destination oriented. Right. Right. You know, and I can't believe I would say this, but life is kind of like the game of golf. Even though I was disagreeing with you, the movie was it. Yeah, you totally bested the point of the whole movie.

It was about life, not golf, but still, you know, if like in golf, you have to be content with just being there and enjoying that last shot or the next shot. Because if you try to be perfect, you're never going to enjoy the game. That's probably why I hate it so much is because I knew I could never overcome it. Right. And so it was just like, I'm just going to check it off, you know, because that's, that's, I'm not going to pay to be frustrated. I could be frustrated at home, you know, but I think that the more that we learn to just enjoy the journey, to enjoy the walk, to enjoy what God's doing along the way, you know, some of that goes away. I think some of the frustration comes with I'm not there yet and realizing we're never going to get there while we're on this side of heaven. Right. And by this side of restoration, but we are going to get closer each day, each time as we allowed ourselves to walk with God. Okay.

And so there is a couple of assignments for you this week. I'd like for you to go do go to YouTube. You can get to it from just every browser. You know, you've heard, if you haven't heard of YouTube, you're probably not listening to this broadcast. You haven't been able to figure out how to get it, but no, you go to YouTube, Jason Gray, who I am, watch that and let God speak to your heart through that. Cause I promise you you've labeled yourself. Other people have labeled you.

You felt that label and realize that label does not come from God and how he sees you and they'll go watch butterfly circus. It's a 20 minute video. It's not a Christian based production, but man, there's a Christian message in it. That's just amazing. And it's about 20 minutes. You can find it on YouTube. You may have to watch it in a couple of different parts, but I'm telling you those two things will lift up your heart and bring you closer to God.

I promise you anything else you guys would add? Yeah. The butterfly circus can speak so much into what Danny's poem was about, right?

Cause when you look at Nick's life, you can make no sense of what that looks like from underside, but from the top side of what God saw, what the, what the ringmaster saw, the glory, the image of God in other people. If I can't see it in myself, I can surely see it in my band of brothers, which is a lot of what we're there for. You can go to masculinejourney.org, register for the upcoming bootcamp.

We're less than a week away. We'd love to see you there. We'd love to see what God does for you there. We'd love to just fellowship with you.

So please go register. If finances are an issue, send us an email. We'll try to figure out something to help you. We'd just love to get you there. If at all possible masculinejourney.org. We'll talk to you next week. This is the Truth Network.